Plumbing the Death Star - Is Wall-E Jesus? (Ft. Nick Capper)

Episode Date: April 15, 2018

In which our heroes are joined by Nick Capper to ask the hard hitting question; Is Wall-E Jesus?Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail]: twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sandspanish Radio. I your tickets from sanspence radio.com forward slash live. Hey everybody, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, is Wally Jesus? Out there, there's a world outside of Yonkers. Way out there beyond this hick town, Barnaby. There's a slick town, Barnaby Out there, full of shine and full of sparkle Close your eyes and sit and listen, Barnaby So, first, yes.

I have several questions You think yes I am baffled Show you're working I think it's fairly evident In the film Warly That Warly If not Christ himself

Because I'll admit He is not Christ reborn He is certainly a Jesus figure Okay Because He becomes Saviour's humanity He's God's chosen child He becomes he becomes savior's humanity he's god's chosen child becomes savior's

humanity humanity's savior is what i meant there um yeah i think in wally that wally basically fills the jesus role when at the end of wally you know they're like oh we we figured it out we killed the bad robot we've landed back on earth he is there to guide humanity to a grander future. Plus, Eve is called Eve. Biblical as hell. He dies for a bit and then he comes back. Classic biblical relationships of Eve and Wally.

Eve and Jesus. The classic couple. It's Wally and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Yeah, and also, I'm fairly sure at a certain point he walked. What is required of a character to be Jesus? To be a Jesus analogy. Because you were saying earlier, Nick, that in Robocop he walks on water.

Yeah, in Robocop, that's why apparently Paul Verhoeven, he shot most of the film, but they wouldn't give him enough money. Yeah. So he said, okay. And they didn't want it to be as violent or something. But then he showed them the bits he had made. And they were like, okay, we'll give you some more money. So they're like, you can't make this movie.

And he's like, what if he's Jesus? And they were like, yep, that's yours. In that case, yes. Well, yeah, that's why he gets shot in the hands, feet, and the head. Okay, yeah. You get shot in each point. You'll see that the bad guy. So there's a crucifix analogy.

All right, Wally, he's got to have the stigmata. Yeah, stigmata. All right, he's got to have the stigmata. Yep, stigmata. Alright, he's got to have a sword on his side which I guess also kind of falls under that stigmata. Yeah, walking on water.

Walking on water. If he can resurrect someone, that'd be sick. And if he can resurrect himself, also good. Good as well. Let's see what else

he can do. Turning water into wine. I was going to say turn water into wine, feed the... Fuck, I think you might be right. Feed the masses water into wine Feed the Fuck I think you might be right Feed the masses

Yeah Feed the masses Also Jesus is like a He's a humble figure He's Yeah You know approachable

Exactly I guess Wally's like that He's just a garbage Garbage Robot You know he's not a He's approachable You love that

Hates corruption Yeah Actually I'm thinking though It's bad for me to go against My own hypothesis, but is Wally Satan? Because he's... Look, argue one, then argue the other, Jack.

Let's just... You can't just... Let's just do one thing about it. All right. Hang on, hang on. Before we get into this. Yeah. So I saw Wally about five years ago.

Fair. So what are the basic plot points? Wally is a garbage robot, and he's the last garbage robot. And we mean as in a literal garbage robot, not like a metaphorical he's trash. He's pretty good, actually, because he's the only garbage robot left. He lives on shitty Earth, which fucking sucks now. One day, Eve, a hot shit robot.

So Earth has been decimated. He's the only person left. Him and a cockroach. Because if Megacorps had fucked up Earth, Earth is basically a wasteland and he's there just sorting through trash. Because humanity has gone to like generations ago

went into a ship and fucked off. Because Earth is just ruined. They now live in space. Eve lands on the planet. Eve is looking for life on Earth to test whether or not we should come back. She's looking at this sleek looking apple designed robot. Wally falls in love immediately

but he's very lonely. Does this make Eve like Mary Magdalene? Yes, Eve is Mary Magdalene. Magdalene, that's the name. So then Eve finds a plant in a boot. Yep. Garden of Eden tree. Yep.

Tree of knowledge. Wally's Satan, anyway. That all checks out, yep. Eve flies back. She flies back to the ship in the sky, which I want to call the Axiom, but that might be not its name. Anyway, so Wally accompanies her. They end up in the ship in the sky, which I want to call the Axiom, but that might be not its name. Anyway, so Wall-E accompanies her.

They end up in the ship in space. Humanity's on the ship, but we suck now. We're really fat. Our bones are, we've got less bones. Yeah, it is a giant cruise ship. Yeah, yeah. It's a giant cruise ship. Everyone's having a great time.

All our whims are taken care of by robots. Yeah, we're just sitting on these kind of flat floating chairs just drinking thick shakes. It's fucking sick. It's pretty good, actually. Heaven. I remember one point when they're on the floating chairs, there's like an ad because they're all wearing red jumpsuits

and it's like, now in blue And you can change it It's crazy that it took them that long To be like, we have the technology To vary your jumpsuit colour Anyway, Wally arrives there And he causes just trouble On the Axiom, it's fucking chaos He's trying to get Eve back

They find out that the robot controlling the Axiom Knew Earth was hot shit Like it was good the whole time But he wanted to keep everyone in space They defeat that robot Everybody goes back to Earth They open it up And the end credits are like

Different forms of art showing Wall-E Educating humanity across the generations It's weird to think Is it? Yeah, that's the end credits It starts with cave paintings And eventually it's like stained glass windows and renaissance paintings. It is weird.

I do find this weird in movies that the hero, because, you know, we're all about change, new technology, embracing new things. But movies kind of teach us they're like, look, the new thing is always really rad and cool, but it always has an evil purpose. What you've got to rely on is the slightly shitter one that has the glitches to overcome, like to give us all personality. For some reason, living comfortable lives on floating chairs,

eating thick shakes is wrong. Even though everyone was loving it, no one was complaining. It is kind of like romanticism of looking at the past life like, wouldn't it be great if we were people of the land again? Tilling our own backyard for fruits and vegetables. Out of your brow and the broken backs of the past.

I'm thinking like that's almost like a trope. I'm a big fan of Battlestar Galactica and the end of that show is basically like the whole colony being like, you know what sucks technology? Put it into the sun. Let's become hunter-gatherers again. And everyone's like, yeah, good fucking idea.

No, no, get like cholera and shit. When they're trying to like stone an elk with a rock, they're like, man, a phaser would be good right now. It would have just phased this thing into the head. It would have cooked it in one second. We had the skinning machine. We could have been eating. Now we're just skinning with sharp rocks,

trying to skin an animal. You know how hard it is to cut a deer? Now I've got the deer. I've cut it up. I open it up. And now it's got worms and shit and it's meat. What do I do with this? Do you think they throw everything in the sun and one guy's like,

cool, so who knows how to use a bow and arrow? It's like, ah, poor shit. Man, can we view the history files? No, that went into the sun as well. We got rid of it. Okay. Even the Matrix is a little bit like, even if life's good, if someone's making your life good, live the shit life.

Yeah. What would you like? Live in the Matrix where you're like, look, nothing's real so you can do whatever the fuck you want. Or shitty Zion. Where look, we do have dance orgies. That's good. People get to finger your Matrix holes. That's kind of sweet. It's real nice and good. But like, honestly, in the

Matrix, you can also have a dance orgy. There's no Matrix hole you can finger, but other things are good. Do you imagine if you lick that Matrix hole, you know, the holes that all the plugs go into it. It tastes a bit like a battery. I would say a bit. I imagine metallic and iron. Yeah, it's gross, but it's a bit sexy.

What's Tozer, not Tozer, who's the little mouser in the first one where he's like, they're eating this corn thing. It's like starch and battery acid or whatever. There's got to be something they get high off. Yeah, absolutely. You know what I mean?

Some kind of cave fungus. You kill one of them squid robots and it's like, suck out the oil, and that gives you like a buzz. That makes you very sick. That makes you extremely sick. So that's the plot of Wall-E. It is also weird that at the end of Wall-E, because it does go through the different eras of humanity

and the art therein, that we go through the same... Did Wall-E know? Is he like Renaissance time now? Is that just humanity? We have cycles. We're just going to do Renaissance up again, I guess. Argue your Wall-E Jesus, because I think

I might be coming around and being like, no, I think maybe he's Satan. Yeah, he might be Satan, but let's finish up this Wally Jesus. Or at least Damien. One of the three. Something evil. Sorry, I'm going to sidetrack you again. Please.

But it has both these things in it as well. Yeah. Skyfall. Yeah. He dies, comes back. That's true. And that is also about, look, you can have the new good super secret agent

but what you need is a fucking alcoholic who can't shoot properly. With very right wing ideas. Womanizing sociopaths. That is how we defend the country. Not like modern spy espionage technology. No, no, no.

Laser pants. Which makes me also think maybe Skyfall, they base that off Wall-E. Maybe James Bond. I do like the idea that we get to a point in our collective sort of like creativity where we no longer start looking at like the Christ figure, right? And then we look at characters that were based on the Christ figure and everyone's basing it on that person it is very funny to be like yes uh you know like millions

of years in the future and you're like yeah we're christian and jesus that's just james daniel craig like robocop and half robocop a little bit of wally there like wally treads yes our jesus oh like robocop torso and arms, Wally Treads and Daniel Craig's face. It's so funny, yeah, if all the writers were like, yeah, 20-somethings, whatever, and they hadn't really read the Bible, because that's probably quite common now. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. We don't know anything about. I've not read it.

Yeah, yeah. I haven't even read it myself. You know, I'm quite older. No, no, not at all. I've read Genesis once. Is that the in the beginning bit? Yeah, I think it's like when you're a teen, like when you grew up Catholic or at least Christian,

I don't know the difference. I've been told the difference. I don't know. It's something I just refuse to learn. Fair. And like you have this idea like, I'm going to try and read the Bible. And you go through like Genesis in the beginning. I can't.

I just, that was too much for me. I have become bad. Genesis, in the beginning. I can't. I just, that was too much for me. I have become bad. Yeah, it'd be funny if they were like, oh, well, you know, have you seen Wall-E? It's got a great storyline. Like they don't see the Jesus thing. Someone's watching The Temptation of Christ or The Passion of Christ. They're like, oh, they must have based this on Wall-E.

I guess. Is Christ a Wall-E figure? Ian Fleming, he would have loved Wally. I'm pretty sure he watched Looney Tunes at least twice before he died. I hate an adored Wally. He doesn't love Wally. So what are the things that Wally's got to do?

Stigmata. We've got to have stigmata. We've got to have bringing someone back from the dead. And we've got to have, I would argue, curing someone of leprosy. Okay, well that's going to be a struggle. Or at least curing someone of a disease.y. Okay, well, that's going to be a struggle. Or at least curing someone of a disease. Or bringing yourself back from the dead.

Having mates. Wally gets his hand caught in Eve. Not in her robo-vagina. In her arm flap, because she's locked down. And he works his hand in her arm flap to try and hold her hand. It's quite touching. But it's snapped shut on his hand. Is that stigmata? Does his hand get broken?

Does he ever have a broken hand? He constantly is replacing his body parts. Oh, this is good. I would argue... Oh, wait, at the start, he replaces some body parts. So we could argue, because he's been there for how long? How long has Wally been on her? Thousands of years.

Thousands of generations. So in a thousand years, I would argue that because there's a lot of possibilities that I reckon when he was clearing up garbage Earth, he put his hand through like a metal spike or some nail. One of his body parts probably had stigma. The implication is that he has pretty much exchanged all of his body parts with those of his fallen companions. Maybe did he murder them and then cannibalise their

bodies? Yes, 100%. But yes, potentially. So, stigmata arguably tick. Okay, I'll give it a tick. Has he brought anyone back from the dead? Eve. He delivers Eve up

to space and she's back and she deactivates and with Wiley's help she becomes active. And also like curing of leprosy, that's quite descriptive. Because you know how he's got like everyone's fat and he knocks that bloke out of the chair and that kind of saves that guy. Like maybe he's curing him of being like a lazy. Or like, you know, is that kind of like bringing him back from the dead? Like Lazarus style?

Yeah, yeah. Like you were mentally, emotionally gone. Hang on. If you're sitting in a chair all day eating slushies, are you saying that you're dead? This is. What? I think you've just described comedians and podcasters' lifestyles here.

Are you saying we're all dead? We were saying earlier how much we'd love to live that life. We kind of do. You guys live in a... Kind of already live. I walked in, you guys were both on chairs. I was drinking a milkshake. So, hang on. give me your sick and poor

is that something that Jesus has said is that a quote no I think that's a precedent is it a precedent my ignorance is so visible well I mean or is that on the statue of liberty yeah that is

you're confusing the statue of liberty and Jesus but could you say Jesus be good for like the injured the infirm like he's always like those my boys you know yeah like i don't want like well i'm like you know it's these these guys because he does do things which free a bunch of shitty robots out of robo jail or wherever it was in the axiom yeah yeah all right. Oh, right. I forgot about that. So there is the Robo Jail. Yeah. And so he basically frees a bunch of shitbots

who are kind of deemed ineffective or basically crap. Could you argue they were like maybe sick and infirm? Yeah, I'd say that's fair. So is Wally the Statue of Liberty? No, I think if anything, the Statue of Liberty is Wally and Wally's Christ. So if anything, the Statue of Liberty is Christ. The Statue of Liberty. No, I think, if anything, the Statue of Liberty is Wally and Wally's Christ. So if anything, the Statue of Liberty is Christ. The Statue of Liberty is a Christ-like figure.

Yeah, I think that's pretty accurate. I was going to say, is there any point in Wally where Wally tips over the table of moneylenders? Is Wally mad at the banks in that movie? Does Wally burn a bush like a fig tree? I think there's no fire. No, because... Does Wally burn a bush like a fig tree? I think there's no fire. No, because... Oh, whoa.

Here we go. Because there's a scene... He actually... I mean, he doesn't put out a fire, but there's a scene where him and Eve are flying around the spaceship and Wally has a fire extinguisher, which he uses to locomote. That's also where, and I may be wrong here,

but it's either him or Eve, and I think it's him. He starts to freeze to death in space, and Eve brings him back, which could be like the death of Christ, the rebirth of Christ. I look, I don't know if that happened. I think someone either, he starts to freeze to death in space and Eve saves him, or Eve starts to freeze to death in space and Eve saves him. Or Eve starts to freeze to death in space and Wally saves him.

Either way, Christ. Eve goes into the, there's like an escape pod that's about to self-destruct. And then Eve rescues Wally. And I do know that Wally does get deactivated. And at the end is when he's brought back, he has no memories. That's true. That's the Christ. And then she kisses him while Robo makes out with him,

and that spark brings him back, like, the personality. There's also that part where Pilot snitches on Wally to the Romans. Oh, that's true. So who snitches on Wally? Judas Iscariot. That's true. So who snitches on Wally? Judas Iscariot.

The pilot is Judas Iscariot. Snitches on... What do they do to Wally? No, wait. Are you sure? Or is Eve the Jesus figure? Actually, Eve might be the Jesus figure. Because she dies and gets brought back. Also, Eve has the nice star analogy

in that Wally sees a big light in the sky And he's like, what's that? And it lands and oh shit, there's Eve Yeah, but the star wasn't Jesus No, but the star showed you where Jesus was And where did she land? In front of Wally Wally's Jesus

Wally's Jesus, again I just argued my own point Yeah But I think there's more Because of the Judas Iscariot betrayal, I think Jesus is Wally. Because the pilot doesn't betray. He's the one that gets tricked. No, the pilot, the actual pilot of the ship, the robotic steering wheel does.

Was that voiced by Sigourney Weaver? Potentially. Okay, then. Let's say yes. All right. I am so pumped to see this movie again. Yeah, me too. I want to watch it again. I want to watch it again. Like, I'm so pumped to see this movie again. Yeah, me too. I want to watch it again.

I want to watch it again. Like, I'm really pumped to see Wall-E. Is it on Netflix? I think potentially, yeah. I think they are, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Until, like, Disney decide to fuck off and do their own thing. Yeah, yeah.

Until Disney's like, hey, it's Disney on demand or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was going out with a girl, like, last year or whatever, and we were fully in love. Yeah. And we just watched heaps of, yeah, Pixar movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going out with a girl like last year or whatever and we were fully in love. Yeah. And we just watched heaps of, yeah, Pixar movies. Yeah, yeah.

And it was, what a way to start a relationship. I think I'll definitely do that again. Like even though it ended. Yeah, yeah. Even though it ended, like Pixar movie, nothing better than that. Nothing brings you closer. Yeah, yeah. That's true.

And I think it's weird also with Pixar movies is that there is so many crap Hollywood movies. Yeah. Not for me to, you know, I mean, I don't make a movie. I'm not going to judge people for getting out there and making an effort. Good on you, Spielberg. You're having a go. Whatever.

I'll be blamed for that. Everyone's dissing Ridley, but, you know, he's making a movie. There's a lot of stress involved. Sure, it's no Aliens, but, you know, give it a go. Yeah. He's making a movie. There's a lot of stress involved. Sure, it's no aliens, but you know, give it a go. He's having a go. Give it a frack. Someone said to me,

I don't watch Pixar movies anymore because they're too sad. We are in a sad state of affairs when children movies are the most real thing we see now. I'm starting to think like last few movies I've cried at. It's always been a Pixar film. Coco? I bawled my eyes out

in that movie. Really? Coco's good? Coco's so good. Oh boy. It's the end gets you good. The big dinosaur or whatever it is. The good dinosaur. The big dinosaur. I could not care for it. It was rubbish.

Swirling a brandy. I could not care for the last dinosaur. I could not care for it. It was rubbish. It was so rubbish. Swirling a brandy. I could not care for that last dinosaur. Big dinosaur. No, look, usually Pixar, great, that one, swing and a miss. Yeah, look, you tried. You gave it a go. We talked about Inside Out, that was incredible. Oh, great. So incredible. Also

dealing with depression and things like that. Yeah. Because you just think, oh, they don't fly. You just think, oh, yeah, that just flies Also dealing with depression and things like that. Yeah. So good for kids. Because you just think, oh, they don't fly. You just think, oh, yeah, that just flies above the radar on Pixel Ant. No. We're hitting depression. This is what we are doing now. But, yeah, WALL-E, that was sad as well.

I think I cried in WALL-E. I think I cried in WALL-E. When they're having a dance. Oh, yeah. It's beautiful. What a film. It's a love story. Jesus is, you know, when he's sitting there with his 12 apostles,

and that's how the drawings always are, picking them, dancing. Absolutely. Jesus loved to dance. Loved to dance, that boy. I'm trying to think of any- Couldn't stop him. Any point where he turns water into wine. No.

I don't think so. Alas. Was it liquid? There's the slushies. Yeah. Is there water on the planet? Could you argue? Okay, look, this is a long boat of draw. Yeah. Is there water on the planet? Could you argue? Okay, look.

This is a long boat of drool. Yeah, I'm in, though. But, like, here you go. So it's all right. So those slushies, they're kind of gross. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah.

They're just... No, we're going to go here anyway. So it's like it's a long boat of drool. So here it is. Those slushies are gross. They're disgusting. They're just not very nutritional for them. It all unhealthy so him rescuing them and then going back to earth and being more more in tune with nature and finding like more um organic sources of like sustenance

could he then be changing like being hey we're turning this crap drink into good drink. But that's kind of like turning Coke into water. Yeah. Not water into wine. Because arguably turning water into wine is making something that's good for you. Kind of bad for you. Yeah. Ruining your life. Ruining your life.

I think he certainly does the... No, he doesn't. I was going to say he does the loaves and fishes thing. You know, Jesus does. Feed the masses. He does do that say he does the loaves and fishes thing, you know, Jesus does. Feed the masses. He does do that because he teaches them to produce food when they arrive on earth. He teaches them.

Like, Jesus. He's an educator. You know, it's like, give a man a fish, he feed for a day. Give a man a teaching a fish, he can get fed for all time. When he comes back, was there ever a... What a quote, Joel Zammett. Give a man... I can't even repeat it.

I want that embroidered on a little fucking... It's like a doily, just a half. Well done. His favourite quote. Okay, so should we do a recording? What did you actually say there? Give a man a feed of fish and he'll feed for a day. Give a man a teach to feed a fish, and he'll be fed for all time.

I think was the quote. And correct me if I'm wrong, but it was a man. So that's Wally as Jesus, which I think we've argued for adequately. I think it's good. Was there ever a rock removed? Was there ever a stone where they come back and they're like, oh, Wally's dead? And I'm like, no, he's not.

He's back. Yeah, yeah. Well, okay, hang on. The public are wrong. So Wally as a physical form is not Jesus. His personality is Jesus because that personality dies and goes away. And then Eve has to come and bring it back, right? Or at least be witness to bringing it back.

So could you argue Wally's shell, his body, is the rock that needs to get God to bring in the personality? Is there ever a scene in Wally where God comes down and says, this is my chosen son? Do you guys remember? I think in the intro, in the first ten minutes, yes. Wally's bumbling around the wasteland and then God's voice is like, Wally is my chosen son. And Wally's like, It's funny how they don't do any biblical metaphors in Pixar movies

in the First Testament. Wally gets put into a log and then the log is sawn in half. While he curses the axiom. The axiom is set on fire for disobeying God. All the firstborns die.

They had no sheep to sacrifice. Eve is dismantled and melted. Melted and turned into salt for daring to question God. While he looked back in front of the junk robots as an audience. But Wally is Satan.

And I'm sad that it's come to this, but I think it just checks out more. Because Satan, the classic Satan, kicked out of heaven. Wally, kicked out of, well not kicked out, but left behind. Wally finds the tree of life, or whatever. I don't know if there's kicked out, but left behind. Left behind. Left behind, okay, yeah. Wally finds the Tree of Life or whatever. I don't know if there's a name for the tree in the comic. Well, he's an angel as well, isn't he?

Because he's a robot that cleans up. Yeah, absolutely. He's one of the angels. He kind of fulfills that angel role. And again, I would argue has been going through and killing and cannibalizing the rest of his kind like a Satan. Yeah. Eve lands with the Tree of Knowledge. Okay. They take it up to Axiom lands with the the tree of knowledge okay uh they take it up to to

axiom which is the garden of eden because it's paradise yep everybody sits around in chairs they drink the sloshies i don't know how they fuck but it must be happening i imagined robots like little little droids that come in with either a cylinder or like a dildo and be like suction that come out and then like yeah into the giant pleasant i. And be like suction the cum out and then like into the giant. I was going to be like, there's not much pleasure in that, but you can probably just get a robot to jerk you off. Oh, yeah, sex robots. Think about how advanced sex robots are.

They're pretty advanced now. It's the same thing I imagine is happening in the Matrix, in the real world. You're getting some robot to jerk you off and then incriminating someone else. But WALL-E, the robots are going to be like little cute weird... They're not going to look like sexy people. They're just going to be like a little robot with a vagina

hand or a penis mouth. 100%. That's hideous. What are they... Do they have virtual reality goggles on in WALL-E? I can't remember. I don't think so. No, but they should. They have a big screen in front of them. Oh, a big screen.

And the screen, there's one point where they're drinking and chatting to their friends or whatever. They're doing a million different things at once. So if they have that screen, right, and you're getting their equivalent of pornography, well, it's not like the robot's jerking them off. But what would that porn be like? Because our porn that we watch today would be so very foreign to them

and almost kind of gross because none of us even though we are pudgy and potato shaped look like them yeah we're also not immobile so it'd be weird for them to see people standing up to fuck yeah you'd just be like is their porn watching a robot jerk them off. Because you've got to think about what they would know and they wouldn't quite know what that is. Yeah, that's weird. Everyone in there is kind of like quite, you know, like they are quite large. Yeah, oh, yeah.

I mean, they're all large people, you know. Because they've got no bones. Yeah, is there something to do with that, like that they, you know, like maybe that gets them off? Oh, yeah, like the larger the better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're like, that person is enjoying everyone's a feeder. Yeah, I mean, maybe that's what it's like in the future.

Or maybe they could show different, like more luxurious ways. So rather than sitting in a chair, they're like sitting in a chair with two slushies. And they're like, oh, fuck, man, I'm going to cum. Oh, this is getting old. Yes, yes, yes. What if they're cherry? Fuck.

Fuck. Maybe. So while he arrives in- Maybe that was the role of the junk robots. They were plush robots. Get the disgusting. Because all these robots have a level of sentience, so that's why they rebelled and got mad.

They're like, I'm sick of jerking people off. Mark Maron had this really good joke about that he has this new, beautiful Mac, and then he just keeps the dirty PC out in the garage. He doesn't look at porn on the Mac, but that's what the PC is for. That's what it's for. Like, hey, you dirty bitch, I'm here again. Exactly. I'm keeping Eve clean. Yeah, yeah. Mawali, oh boy.

Safe search is off. We got a boner. Get one of the junk robots. Ristoid to 3, 4, whatever. I'll be sad. A junk robot feels like it's going to pinch my foreskin. I know, I feel like they're rusty a bit

Yeah, that's scary for my genitals On earth I milked cows I was creating an industry In the axiom Jerking off huge dudes Jerking off huge dudes This is the fantastic

At least Clitbot just has to vibrate Exactly So, he arrives at the Garden of Eden He's got the tree Fantastic. At least Clitbot just has to vibrate. Yeah, exactly. So he arrives at the Garden of Eden. He's got the tree. Yeah. It's the tree of life. It's basically the fruit of knowledge. Yeah.

Because the knowledge being, hey, guess what? This isn't all there is. You can go to Earth. Okay. So I've got something which might just like, all these little things are very nice, but might just trump your argument completely and utterly, or just like a win it, basically. Yeah. Because the thing is, what's the devil good at?

Lying. Lying. Yeah. And manipulating. Right. So what does Wally do? He's like, hey, here's this green thing that you come back to Earth, you're going to do fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're amazing. These people are shit. They're just, they're shit. They cannot actually survive on Earth. I think a sequence where they show the skeletons And how the skeletons have generated And they literally are missing bones now Yeah, they don't have the bone structure to live on Earth

So what better way for the devil to be like Hey, humanity, come back to Earth, it's fine You can live here When really they're just going to die within a generation. Is Earth hell then? Ah, yes. It's kind of this blown out, unpleasant wasteland that Wally brings everyone back being like,

welcome to paradise. And they get there and they're like, this is awful. And Wally's like, and now you've got to crawl everywhere. And Pilate is Jesus. Oh my God. So Pilate, or at least he tries to be the saviour of humanity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he, or she, sorry, Pilot is basically trying to save humanity

by being, don't go back there. It's doomed. You need to go forward. You need to go forward with progression and that kind of stuff. Don't go back. Don't go back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing everyone he didn't exist.

So here's this cute little WALL-E robot being like, hey, it's me, your boy. And then Pilot being like, no, he's going to trick me. Welcome to Pandemonium. And we don't have the skeletal structure to go back. And you're like, no. And no one believes, everyone doubts Pilot. That's true. Is Wally therefore working for God in a kind of devilish way?

Like God's like, oh, well. Well, I mean, kind of, there's always been that weird partnership between God and Satan where they pretend they're at other sides, the two different sides of the coin, but like why would Satan fulfill that job for God? You know what I mean? Now the whole thing's like really weird weird When you take a curious eye to it You're like, why?

Satan's like, yes, give me the bad blokes And I'll torture them Even though I'm Satan So surely you give me the bad blokes And I'm like, fuck yeah, welcome to fucking paradise For all of the no good people You know? Yeah

What if they do do a sequel to WALL-E and it is just, like, people with no bone structure dying on a planet, like, in the hot? Because there's no... It's awful. Imagine them worming around. There's no ozone layer. Yeah.

And they're just frying in the sun like huge slugs. Like the Zappos. That's so grotesque to imagine. It's also funny that Wally You know aside from Is Wally Jesus? Is Wally Satan? Whatever

It's fucking hilarious that Wally Gets everyone there And is like And we have one tree Well that's the biggest problem Yeah we've got one tree Is it an apple tree? No

Is it a lemon tree? No Who knows What about beans? No It's just a tree This is the problem with it. It's like if you had waited maybe then a thousand more years.

Yeah, yeah. And there's all like more kinds of like, you know, green and trees and plants. Yeah. Then sure enough, bring them back. Yeah. But this is just one random seed. Yeah. The only other life that I think is on the planet is cockroaches.

So it's Wally landing and he's like, food. And he just points to to a cockroach family. And he's like, and that's where you'll just I don't know where you're getting water from. No, it rained. But it was a toxic rain. I don't know where they're getting water from. Pollination is a problem. So there's no like, you know, there's definitely no more bees. So like

yeah, Wally is the devil. Is this a comfortable life? Because this is what your life would be like living on Earth. You worm around everywhere because you cannot stand sizzling is the devil. Is this a comfortable life? Because this is what your life would be like living on Earth. You worm around everywhere because you cannot stand. Sizzling in the sun. You're hot all the time, so you're constantly sunburned and peeling. All you eat is cockroach. That is your meal.

And bugs, because I don't think there's any other animals. And you drink toxic nuclear rain when it rains. What is future of the WALL-E humanity be underground? Would they worm themselves underground? Just big slugs. Tell me you wouldn't though because the sun is so hot. You've got to protect you from the toxic rain underground and plus where all the bugs live, underground. WALL-E 2, the city of the worm people.

Also, like, the robots came down with them, right? But, like, really, the robots are in charge. Because the robots are capable. A robot can be like, well, yeah, humanity, you're slugging around everywhere. Well, I can

make the decisions. Really, 100 years, 200 years in the WALL-E future, they're probably farming us for fuel. Yeah, like the Matrix. Really, 100 years, 200 years in the Wall-E future, they're probably farming us for fuel. Yeah. Right? Like the Matrix. Like the Matrix. We came right.

Was it like, yeah, Wall-E 2, the slug people versus, you know, the robot overlords. Because you're kind of acting on the whim of like Moe and all those little guys. Yeah. So a little stealth prequel. So again, humanity lands. Yeah.

Wally and the rest of the robots thinking, we did good. They're seeing humanity fall to shit. They see them worming around, getting burnt on sidewalks. Eating cockroaches. Eating cockroaches, being like, this is not a good life for what is. It's their masters or the people that they were made to serve and help. So they're like, right. Forget all the animatrix bullshit.

That's just like humanity propaganda robots being like, they can't handle the truth. Let's do this other thing. And that's how, how they think happened. But instead they're like, we feel so sorry and pity for them. Let's get that matrix hole and like plug them into VR.

Yeah. Set them up like that. And we'll care for them. We'll like do everything they can because honestly, what a sad life to live. Yeah, absolutely. And so then they're all just little pod people and eventually, of course,

after living there, they might get their bone structure back. I don't know how evolution is. I don't know if you can get new bones. I think because your environment's got to change with adaptation. Yeah, exactly. So, you don't i don't know if their environment maybe the robots somehow okay okay so again all right so they're like all right they plug them all into like a first matrix like a pseudo matrix yeah they'll just like fuck around in there and so as they're doing this every newborn

that's come along they're like we'll plug them into the matrix but we'll like you know those like stim pack things? Like you put them on your muscles and they electrocute you, that kind of stuff? Like back in the late 90s, they were on like late night television. They'd be like, do you want to shock your fat ass thin? Put these on and you'll be so fit. And they had a guy on there being like, I have a real strong tongue and I put this on my tongue and it gives it a workout. This is an ad that I remember from high school.

Electricute, you've got a fat, gross tongue that needs help. Put this on there and you'll be the fittest tongue ever. My gross tongue has been my big fallback getting that job at the tip. I never open my mouth fully because I'm scared of people seeing my idiotic tongue. Fat tongue. And so they grab them or they have robots themselves and they kind of like work your own legs and do all this kind of stuff to try and help you.

But because you're in the Matrix, you're like, I don't care about the pain or the hardship or whatever because I'm a beautiful person in the Matrix. Yeah, yeah. So I don't notice this. And so through generations and generations, because they're moving and working your body, you'll get back to a potentially.

To lend credence to your theory. So like clearly in Zion, everyone's underground. Yeah. In the real world where we're all underground. So like, yeah. Kind of checks out. And on the surface, there's no sun or something. It looks pretty dark up there. And Wall-E is quite at the end of humanity's, you know,

and given enough time, the sun will go out in our planet. So I think it kind of checks out that Wall-E is a stealth prequel to The Matrix. That is one possible future at the very least. I'm pretty sure he's in there somewhere in the first Matrix. Yeah, you can see him in the background. Yeah, you can see him in the background. He's behind Dozer or something like that.

Just his little box form. Somebody's sitting on him. It's weird how things can look dated oddly because I watched the Matrix and I thought this isn't going to hold up. Yeah, yeah. And it holds up really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a shock.

It's so good. And then I didn't want to watch the second Matrix. Yeah, Revolutions. I was like, I know it's not going to hold up. Yeah. And, yeah, because it dates it so bad that they had the technology kind of good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But 3D animation was going through a shit phase then. Oh, it really was. The moment when Neo just flies up in the sky and has a twirl and his cape, and you're like, oh, it looks plastic. It's very weird. It looks like it may be made from licorice. The same thing happens with Jurassic Park 3. Jurassic Park 1 and 2 look great.

Jurassic Park 2, maybe not as much as 1. 1 looks amazing. 2, pretty good. 3, dog shit. And I don't know what it is. I remember my mate said, I want to watch all the Star Wars movies again. Does anybody here have any, like he posted this on Facebook,

he said, does anybody have a copy of the non-digitally remastered ones? And I was like, what a prick. What a pretentious prick. Fuck off. Like you want to see, it's like in the new one, The Last Jedi, where they're like, what if Yoda was when he was gross? Yeah.

Make Yoda look nice. And then. He doesn't have to look, he doesn't have to make him CGI. Make him a good puppet. Yeah, yeah. Why choose the bad puppet? Yeah, yeah. Like, what are you doing? Why choose the bad puppet? Yeah. Like, what are you doing?

Why choose the bad puppet? What are you doing? But then I did watch them, and the digitally remastered bits was going through that shit time as well. Yeah. And you're like, oh, this really does fuck the movie up. Apparently George Lucas walked onto the set of Last Jedi and said, why are you building everything?

And they're like, because we saw the prequels. They're all bad. It was idiotic. I loved one of his interviews or something like this, one of the behind-the-scenes things, and he says this really proudly, but when someone asks him or maybe even just states his things, like, do you know how many clone trooper armor that we built for this film? Have a guess.

Zero. Yeah, we know. It's apparent, George. It's very apparent. The way they flew around and that kind of was like, it was like watching Looney Tunes or something. It was so fun. It was actually like watching the sequel to The Matrix.

Yeah. Those fight scenes, they have no body whatsoever. Nobody has weight for some reason. Everybody's just floaty and weird. Flinging. I'd say it's a flinging match, really. The whole thing's flinging. Now, getting back to Wally being maybe Satan.

Yes. Potentially, I would argue, maybe he's not Satan, but tricked by Satan. Who's Satan? Is Satan maybe an unseen force in the film? Okay. Because Wally needs malicious Like to be Satan I feel there has to be a level of maliciousness Yeah sure

But I don't think Wally has that No he's naive Because I think he's very naive and easily fooled He's an innocent And he's just kind of like I'll help all these kind of you know I love you Eve and that kind of stuff But I don't know if Satan can love Yeah

It's weird how many movies have this storyline I was thinking about Kurt Russell movies the other day I think about Kurt Russell a lot. Oh, okay. Sure. And I think the same kind of plot line is in the – did you guys ever see Soldier? No. Kurt Russell movie.

Maybe. Anyway, it was a very good movie. Yeah. It was like – it wasn't good. It was bigger, but it was still good. I loved it when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, yeah, he was like a big – he was like a soldier taught to kill.

Yeah, yeah. And then found out all of his was like a soldier taught to kill. Yeah, yeah. And then found out all of his mates were killed off and he was like the killer soldier. And then they have this new soldier and, you know, the kind of earth is kind of shit now. Yeah, yeah. Who plays the new soldier? I think.

Like Van Damme or something like that? Yeah, someone like Van Damme. And I think I have seen soldiers. Yeah, yeah. And he's got a kind of – so he's killed but not. Like he's got refuge on the shit planet and he kind of helps the refugees. Oh, that's right. They come out to – they've got to exterminate the refugees on the planet

or something. Rough, rough. Very rough. And so, yeah, apparently, yeah, he saves them. But, yeah, once again, total same storyline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It comes back from the past. He's old news.

Yeah. But he can beat the new news. Yeah, because he's got emotions. Yeah, exactly. He's got all the shit glitches we talked about before. That's what you need. What's a movie? Is there a movie where something just new comes in and it's fucking cool

and destroys everything? Everyone's like, fuck yes, the future. Fuck, this is rad. I love Snake Quizmoz. This is the best. Back to the Future, maybe? At no point in Back to the Future is time travel really vilified. They're like, it's sick, we just did it wrong.

Yeah, yeah. If we didn't fuck around with this, it would have been great. But unfortunately, we goofed it up pretty hard certain episodes of doctor who maybe yeah yeah why are we so scared of the future yeah why are we so scared yeah yeah because we don't get to see it and we're jealous yeah i like the version of uh like the wally sequel where humanity doesn't borrow underground we just all die and all of the robots look at Wall-E like what's wrong with you?

Imagine like it's just everyone's rusting because nobody knows. I was thinking this before when we were talking about like Wall-E trying to create a new society. Nobody knows how to build new robots. Well, don't the robots, do the robots build themselves?

Probably some of them do, but they need all the technology on the Axiom, which is now Deep House. I would love to see a movie where it's just got these boneless people frying in the sun, and it just slowly zooms in on Wally's eyes. He's got one of those metal eyebrows that detect his emotions, and they're just blank. They're totally horizontal.

He's just zooming in and he just starts rubbing his hands together. Tonight we're friends. Well, he just wanted to eat humanity the whole time. He was a cannibal. He finished eating other people of him. Now he wants to eat humanity. Who was Pontius Pilate? Like the biblical one or the worldly version?

Yeah, I was just noticing that there's a Pilate and there's Pontius Pilate in the Bible. Sorry, I thought Pontius Pilate, because he did rat on Jesus, right? No, Pontius Pilate, he was the guy who was like the judge. Yeah. And he was like, we have this rapist or Jesus. Who would you like to free?

And the crowd were like, the rapist. He's like, oh, well, the crowd has spoken. Rapist, off you go. Okay, well, there's no point in the film where the pilot makes that kind of decision. And he's like, well, look, I asked the crowd and he washed his hands of it. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that happened in WALL-E. Yeah, I remember that scene. Look at the director's cut.

It's got that bit in it. So, yeah, I don't know if that's Pudge's point. I just thought maybe there was something there. Did WALL-E have mates? Did he have 12 mates? He had, I think if you go back, and correct me if I'm wrong, but there is the scene where he, so he has Eve. You didn't count 12?

What, in all the times you watched it, you never thought to count how many mates he had? Jesus Christ, man. Because it's Eve. I thought you said you'd seen it. I know, what am I doing? What am I doing when I don't count the amount of people on the screen? And you lie, you exaggerate. You're lying to us.

You're lying to all the good people. You're lying to the people as well. I've seen it many times. But he has Mo. He has Eve. Mo's the little guy that cleans shit up. Yeah. He's Eve. There's an umbrella robot.

Okay. There's another bouncing fuck. I like that we're up to like three or four and you're struggling. I want to say there's at least seven in the escaping scene. I would say, and you know what, no, I'll say with confidence there's definitely twelve junk robots that, no there's definitely eleven junk robots

and then the pilot who rats him out. The pilot who's Judas Iscariot. No, Mo is Judas Iscariot because Mo tells the pilot he comes good in the end, he regrets it, but so does Judas. Yeah, because he hangs himself in a tree and nuts himself It's hidden but in one of the background scenes

In the painting You just see Mo just He made the right decision There are 12, including Mo Who is Judas Iscariot And Eve is Mary Magdalene Who is in The Last Supper probably Because one of the guys in The Last Supper looks very feminine.

God, if I never get to know her. I don't know where I read that, but somewhere. I'm going to take it as a fact. Absolutely true. I think we solved it. So I believe Wally is Jesus? He's 100% Christ.

If not Jesus reborn, because God's like, I've got to do it again. He's a Christ. God's like, I've got to do it again. He's a Christ. He's like, I've got to do it again. Surely, like, maybe if I did it on, like, the axiom where there's some bloke. No. The soul of, I'm going to take a third of me and throw it into a robot. Tell you why, because God can't go into space.

What if the writer, that's true, God can't exist in space. He's only got dominion over Earth. Once you get to a certain level of height, God's like... Then he's the one looking up going... It's like, out of my jurisdiction. God doesn't do a suit. No way.

Plus, ask yourself... You can't contain this baby. Look, if you've got any more queries, ask yourself this. How, after what are, I think, three to four to... No, actually even more about a thousand years okay of nobody being on earth how's wally still alive god's chosen son and on that note

i've been jackson bailey i've been joel zamet i've been nick capper you got anything on a spruik Rook, where can we find you? Oh, just Kappa Flapper on Twitter. Sick. Yeah, C-A-P-P-E-R-F-L-A-P-P-E-R. Shit, sorry, guys, a bit hungover. If I didn't have a gig tonight, I would so watch Wall-E. Yeah, I might watch it tonight. I might watch it, yeah. We'll do a follow-up or something like that.

After we've seen it, we can come back and be like, Hi, everybody, we were wrong. So very wrong. I've also read the Bible and holy shit was I wrong. We don't know shit about Wally. I don't know shit about fuck here, to be honest. Turns out Wally, not Jesus. Methuselah, however,

checks the fuck out. Buddha locked his wife right there. Guys, that was great. Yeah, yeah. I've got a comedy festival show if any of you guys Like his wife Right there Oh guys that was great Yeah yeah Yeah so yeah Just Nick I've got a comedy festival show

If any of you guys Listeners live in Melbourne Yeah yeah But if you don't Drive Yeah Get a plane Make the fucking journey

Make an effort for once In your damn life And where can we find Your Micketh show Just search for Micketh Yeah M-I-C-F Nick Capper

It'll turn up Turn up Quantum Bad Boys Is the name of the show You saw a rough of it Just a search for Mickoff. Yeah. M-I-C-F, Nick Capper. It'll Turn Up. Turn Up. Quantum Bad Boys is the name of the show. You saw a rough of it. Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, it didn't have an ending back then. Now it's got an ending.

It was a three-act structure in two acts. Forgot the third. Before I just abused people at the end and myself for not thinking of an ending and said, okay, show's over. Get out. Collect the money and run. Yes, come to Melbourne and see an end to this thing. We'll see the shows of Delmonico's and we'll close the town in a whirl and we won't come home until the day's on your hands.

Thanks for listening. And if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can find us at Sandspants Radio, or you can find us individually, I'm at Douche13. I'm at OldDogsOfDead. And I'm at GodDammitZammit. If you want to hear our other shows, you can head to SandspantsRadio.com and you'll find all our other content there. There's heaps!

And if you want to support us, head to SandspantsPlus.com Thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time good night for now but not forever kisses