Plumbing the Death Star - What are the Implications of Super Smash Bro?

Episode Date: October 21, 2018

Where we ask the hard hitting question like What are the Implications of Super Smash Bros?Sign up to our newsletter here; http://eepurl.com/cM3in9Join our facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Watch us stream here; https://www.twitch.tv/sanspantsradioYou can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073Theme music by the wonderfully talented Benny Davis! You can find all his stuff at his website https://bennydavismusic.com or check out his YouTube https://youtube.com/bennythejukeboxWant to help support the show?Sanspants+: https://sanspantsplus.comPodkeep: https://sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: https://audiobooksontape.comMerch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail]: https://twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: http://www.sanspantsradio.comFacebook: https://facebook.com/SanspantsRadioReddit: https://reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: https://twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: https://twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: https://twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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oh hello there welcome to this week's episode of forming the death star where we ask the important questions like what are the implications of super smash bros first of all they're not all bros some of them are sisters it's a strike what fuck i mostly wanted to focus on they're not all bros. Some of them are sisters. It's a strike what? Fuck. I mostly wanted to focus on- They're not even related. They're not brothers or sisters.

A Mario and a Pikachu, not genetically the same. Different boys. What? Yep. Can you put a man in a Pokeball? Can you put a Mario in a Pokeball? Mario is a man. He's a short man, but he's a man. He's little and Italian, but there is a lot of men out there like that. Can you put him in a Pokeball? Can you put Amari in a pokeball? Mario's a man. He's a short man, but he's a man. He's little and Italian.

But there is a lot of men out there like that. Can you put him in a pokeball? No. You can put him in a pipe, though. Can you put a Pikachu in a pipe? Pipes for everyone, pokeballs for some. That's the rule. But, so yeah, strike one, obviously. The bros and the sisters

and the genetically not the same. And if a Bowser and Amari are bros, why are they always fighting? But then a Mario and Luigi are bros and they're not fighting. Sometimes bros fight. Yeah, but with fire? Sometimes if they're angry. With fireballs that shoot out of their hands? Sometimes if one bro has a castle and the other is a small Italian.

And one bro steals the princess bro. Yeah. Who is a small Italian. And one bro steals, like, the princess bro. Yeah. Who is also a bro. We're all bros where it counts. But I want to focus on someone that I don't think the game ever implies is a bro. Yeah. Masterhand. Yeah.

Because Masterhand, as revealed at the opening of the Super Smash Bros. games, is a hand that is playing with the figures that are Mario the bros. Yeah. His toys. Which is fine. All well and good. Except the Master Hand is the enemy of the game. Which means that Mario is a reanimated toy that then fights his

hand that controls him and then as a victory he gets turned back into a toy. Well it's interesting because some theories are that, yeah, obviously that Super Smash Brothers is just somebody playing with their, they have varied Nintendo toys. But that does imply that eventually those toys rise up. Yes.

Defeat the hand. Yeah. It's about like it creates the toys. Yeah. Gives them sentience. Basically, the Master Hand is God. Yeah. And the toys are basically choosing to rebel against their sentience and existence.

Bunch of Lucifers. It's time to kill God. Isn't that the- Isn't that kind of, I guess, the end game of every sentience piece? Actually, but also, is that the gist of every Smash Brothers? Because at the end of Smash Brothers Brawl, for the way- Yep, got it. You fight God.

Final Destination. Don't you fight God? It's an alternate dimension God, but it's God. Master Hand, yeah. No, not in Smash Bros. Not in Brawl. Do you ever play Brawl? Yeah.

You remember at the very end of Brawl? Oh, there's a face. You fight like this big glowing rainbow demon guy. God. That's God. You fight God in the Smash brothers series so super smash brothers is about one little italian man rising up defeating all of his brothers to then reach god the father of all gods yeah and killing god do you think mario because like marth and piet

who are from i want to say fire emblem yeah you got it in one fuck yeah they look like people i mean not heaps but more than mario do you think mario is uncomfortable about that 100 i think mario seems them it's like is that what a man is supposed to look like nah mario is too self-like mario like what is wrong with these people yeah yeah yeah so they're big and knows about the size of our feet. Look at the gross and tall people. They're probably gonna die early. Do you reckon Link looks at them and is like, what's wrong with your ears? I think Link looks at Mario and is like,

Why are you not tall? How come you're always so quiet when you're fighting me with a bomb? That's a we. Not a me. I'm like a boo, boo, boo, boo. I'm making the noise when I do the action so that you know. You just sadly hucking bombs.

This fox has a gun. Is that okay? So we allowed guns in this game. Oh, my goodness. I've been fighting with my knees and my feet. What the hell? Warrior rocks. I brought a motorbike.

I hope that's okay. I will hit you. I will hit you with my motorbike and then eat my motorbike. Pop out. And the Poketrain is like, I got a dragon. I brought Pokemon. Can we kill this guy who's bringing another dragon? No.

He behind the... We can't get to him. You can eat his dragon. I can eat his his dragon i can eat any of you i love in smash brothers that wario's move is not to eat it just to bite that's the best wario he chomps him it's fucked how is that less fucked than eating them well eating them is like that's clearly a power kirby has wario is just a fat little guy he's hungry like kirby's designed to eat you and and yoshi is designed to eat you wario's not he's just a man this is too maybe too self-aware for this podcast we have made mario italian but wario not wario still italian he's just gross italian yeah mario is still Italian. He's just gross Italian. Yeah, yeah. Mario is like, you know, he's like an everyman Italian.

Wario is like a dirty... Wow, Mario is like your dirty uncle Italian man. Yeah, you know. I ride the motorbike and I don't have a wash. Or a Wario. Somehow I always have a new girlfriend or boyfriend that is never age appropriate. That's me, a warrior.

Were you going to say you thought I was going to say I have a motorbike and I never wipe? No, I don't ever. Because you said I don't ever wash, but I thought you were going to say, I'm a warrior. I got a motorbike and I don't have a wife. We don't. Not a married. Or he might have a wife, but he cheated on that wife a lot.

I got a wife and a family, but I don't visit them. All right, so. I tell child to port the wrong address. Send it back to me. So we're saying that Master Hand, this childhood creator, I guess this child of infinite power, has risen up and created a small pocket dimension where his toys come to life. Sure.

Where toys come to life. Yeah. And then, I guess, everyone who has come to life now has the objective to beat the living shit out of each other, realize that they're doing it for the enjoyment of someone else, and then to turn on that master and kill it? Yes. To then go back into the void.

Yes. All right. But there's also master Hand and Crazy Hand. So Child has Good Hand and Bad Hand. He's got one crazy hand. All right. There's a lot of this and then a lot of this. So is it about just fighting, I guess, God and Satan

and then the face of both? The face of both. Is the message of the Smash Brothers series that there is no good, there is no evil, there's just one creator who has two sides? Once you defeat his regular hand, who is a master, and the other who is crazy, you can finally take on the entity itself. Do you always fight yourself in Smash Bros.? No. No, not necessarily.

You can. In some of them you fight no i'm just trying to think there's a journey from like um like self and self-realizing and self-actuation to be like you need to be the master of yourself it's like you need to best those around you then you need to best versions of yourself like the polygon versions and then you need to then best your creator no it's like you need to best your friends and you need to best your basic dna and then you need to best your creator yeah well in super smash brothers brawl the the narrative of that the story mode is called the subspace emissary i think and in that who is turning everyone back into toys because someone is and i can't recall who someone's going around and zapping people with a

light maybe it's the weird alien guys but he's turning them back into little figurines And you, as whoever you're playing as You have to take them out of the figurine Fight them and then they join you in your quest Okay So, what's going on there? If the child, i.e. God Maybe they're angels

You know, who are turning you back to a toy Trying to fight you Then you fight god is it is it about free will because if if if we have the ability we're a toy that then turn into like um something that has you know your own things and actions and then we choose to fight but then us rebelling and fighting our creator is being like no we want free will and do our own thing and then by doing so are punished by getting back turned into a toy. Yeah.

Is this about control? Is this about us accepting or, I guess, not accepting someone controlling our lives and then realising that ultimately someone always is? Or is it a simpler narrative of coming together. And instead of fighting each other. Fighting the true villain. Because if you think about every Smash Brothers game.

You go through fighting all of your brothers. Yeah. And once you've smashed your brothers. Then you get to smash the person that's put you there. So is the narrative not necessarily one of free will. But one of like. How about we take on the true villain. Oh yeah. So it's kind of like about we take on the true villain? Oh, yeah.

So, it's kind of like- Whether or not the true villain is God. Is it- What's your creator? So, is it kind of like death to- Like, you know, no more masters? Yeah, like- No more chains? No more masters. No lords or whatever it is.

Let's fight the crazy hand. Yeah. Did you learn, Dusha? So, you can turn people into trophies. Oh. There's a trophy stand item. Yeah So you can turn people into trophies. Oh. There's a trophy stand item. Yeah. You can turn things into trophies.

So, yeah. I didn't find what I was looking for, but I found a new piece of information that frightened me. A new piece of the past. Okay. So is it you? Okay, how about this? So the idea is like no kings, no masters, no gods.

Yeah. Kill the past. The past. Yeah, yeah. No, no gods. Yeah. Kill the past, the past. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Not kill the past. Kill the... Kill everyone.

So basically, no owners, no masters, whatever. And so the idea there is to then try to rise up and get your bros to be like, hey, let's not just fight each other, but let's fight what's causing all this. Let's fight what is making you know, making us fight, which is our creator. But then, with this new information,

then, unfortunately, that you've now risen up and got the power. You can now turn people into... Absolute power corrupts absolutely. And now you are the one who is turning people into toys. Which one has big Diddy Kong? Diddy Kong or Donkey Kong? Diddy.

Ah, that's Brawl. Okay. I just wanted to recall. Yeah, there's a big ape. Oh, there's a big ape level in all the games. Is there? Yeah. So in the first one you have to fight, there's a team of three of you have to take down big DK. Okay. And then in the second one there's

another big DK level. I was gonna say there's only ever been two apes. So is Smash Bros. and I guess the philosophy of Smash Bros., is it one of almost, like, anarchistic? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Like, anarchy, to rebel, to be like, destroy everything,

destroy who we are. Would V in V for Vendetta have killed God if he could? Yes. Yeah, I imagine so. Oh, 100%. But I don't know- Remember, remember the 5th of November, I shot Jesus. But again, you know, no gods, no masters.

That's all I can kind of think of is that once you start, you know, each little smash bro realizing that they are simply there for the entertainment of someone else rebels against that and destroys what created it. What if it's just Gladiator? Well, yeah, that's what I'm kind of thinking as well, because when you fight Crazy Hand, it's not like Mario's made the decision. You just end up there and Crazy Hand's like,

fucking right, time to smash it. Yeah. So it's just kind of like maybe God destroying God's creation. It's not necessarily Mario fighting God. It's God being like, got to fight that mario fighting back and accidentally killing god and accidentally in the process killing god is it kind of like this is a mistake and yeah well so it's just like crazy hand and master master hand

are coming together to i guess the equivalent of a biblical flood i.e smashing out all the existence that's going to happen there and then then just, like, is that what's happening and the Ark is a Super Smash? Possibly. You had me up until the Ark was a Super Smash. Look, me too. I mean, like, you know, obviously all of these characters from all of these different franchises coming together.

And I think the toy thing only happens in Smash Bros. 1. I don't think it really happens in 2 and 3. There's no toy thing? Yeah, not really. What, the turning into toys? Or the starting as toys. Yeah, it happens in the second one as well, the opening movie. See, my knowledge gets a bit hazy after Melee, but definitely Melee, because that's where the trophies are first introduced.

Yeah, yeah. See, because I've only really played Brawl and Wii U. Ah. Yeah. I've only played the original Smash Bros. Yeah, yeah. So in Brawl and Wii U, it's just not really a thing. Yeah, they get turned into trophies, but it's not like they're toys to begin with i propose that it's more like like a like how in thor ragnarok gladiators from across

the galaxy have been brought together to battle yeah it's kind of what we're seeing here what if then yeah the first super smash brothers is an actual event that happened yeah sure and then the rest are just recreations of the time an italian plumber killed god we mario um toing this yeah what if the rest are just dreams not dream actually no not dreams like recreations yeah yeah yeah like a story told again and again until it loses its meaning and then everyone's there because as it travels through the nintendo wilderness like a lop is it super smash every smooth no now we've turned it into Super Mario Brothers 3 it's a stage play the greatest lop of all time

I think we're not those are the grander implications but we're not focusing on the little implications like the fact that Fox McCloud's Final Smash is to make a giant ship shoot everyone on stage and Mario's just a guy

like imagine a Super Smash Brothers where everyone takes realistic damage giant ship, shoot everyone on stage, and Mario's just a guy. Like, imagine a Super Smash Brothers where everyone takes realistic damage. The moment Mario is shot, he just lies there and dies. But Mario can break bricks with his skull. But he's tough, that's true. That's beyond tough. Yeah. I saw a man once who could hammer a nail

into a brick with his skull. He had a very bony plate. He was like a mutant. And he had a bony plate in his forehead that meant he could smash in nails into bricks with his head. He bled, but it didn't damage his brain. I guess we never see Mario bleeding. So unpleasant.

Also, Mario does it with his fist. It's hard to say. That's still cool. That's actually more impressive. Because he's got fingers like fun. He wears gloves, I guess. What about the fucking ice climbers? They're just too

little. Nana and Popo? Yeah, they're like... Popo? It's Popo. They're getting shot. Imagine? It's Popo. They're getting shot. Imagine everyone in the Smash Bros. roster is getting shot. Who comes out alive? One of the things you can be... Samus.

Yeah, but one of the things you can be in Brawler Zero suits Samus. Or maybe it's the Wii U. No, you can do that in Brawler as well. Why do you want to be a weaker Samus? She's got a whip. Oh, well, that makes up for it, doesn't it? She's got a whip now, so she can get shot. That's fine.

Replaces her arm cannon with a taser. Does anyone have actual... Mall cop Samus, great. Does anyone have an actual gun that shoots bullets as opposed to, say, energy blasts? Yes, Snake, Solid Snake. Yeah, look, he's killing everyone. Solid Snake has a bazooka.

Yeah. He's exploding Peach. You know what? Peach has an umbrella. She also has a golf club. And that's someone who is a Peach main when I play Smash Brothers. She has an umbrella, and one of her moves is to defend herself by putting Toad out there. Who excretes toxic gas.

That's one, but one just takes the damage. That's awesome. So she's just killing a bunch of Toads. The Toad hates it but doesn't die. It's an incredibly powerful move. Maybe Toads, like the implications here is that Toads are invulnerable. Are Toads invulnerable?

Can you kill a toad? I don't think we've ever seen a dead toad in any Mario game. In fact, more recent in Mario Odyssey, Toad is putting himself in very precocious positions that seem to have killed lesser men and women.

A toad can go to space with no helmet. So can Mario. That doesn't mean anything. Forget I said anything. It's Italian space. Soca Mario. That doesn't mean anything. Forget it. It's Italian space. There's air. Fuck, Dusharab. Your belief is that the Mushroom Kingdom is in Italy.

It is. Mushroom. Past. Italia. Italian man. Italy. I'm there. No, but seriously, how many human characters in the Mushroom Kingdom aren't Italian?

One. Peach. Peach. Daisy, too, but that's the same person. I thought you were going to be like, Daisy, Italian. She might be. Well, there's no claim otherwise. Everyone in New Donk City?

Yeah. That's in... That's not the Mushroom Kingdom. That's true. That's true. That's Donk City. Is Waluigi Italian? Is me Waluigi? I don't know i'm italian

confirmation from the man himself he seems like the italian that would like have a switchblade yeah he's me a while away oh he kind of yeah he's a bit um you wanna die you you think i'm funny you're laughing at me that's the reason they won't let waluigi he's almost like he's almost like a new jersey stereotype waluigi new jersey waluigi how you doing look i agree gym and laundry um i'm trying to think who else is in Smash that really just shouldn't be there. It's crazy that Toad's never been in there, but Toad has no knees. So, like, fair enough.

He can't run away. Donkey Kong's an ape. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a tie, though. What's your point? You're right. An ape should be there.

One of Diddy Kong's moves that I love is where Diddy Kong grabs the face of his opponent. I don't know if he eats it, but it looks like it. So that's good. Jigglypuff's just a Pokemon, but not one that hurts to touch like Pikachu. It's weird that in Smash Bros., certainly going by the one that's coming up that has every character in it.

Everybody is here. If we assume that that's how Smash Bros., that you have Pokemon Trainer, who controls a Squirtle, Bob-Azor, and Charizard, but also Pikachu, Pichu, Mewtwo. Mewtwo makes sense, but Pikachu, Pichu. Jigglypuff. Jigglypuff.

That, uh... Lucario. Ninja. No, no. Lucario's in it as well. The Frog Ninja. Yeah. Ninja Froggo.

Ninja Froggo. It's just weird that you've got loose Pokemon and also caged Pokemon. Before you get into caged and non-caged Pokemon, let's just have a quick word from our sponsors. Or not. Either way, I just want to let you guys know that, once again, tickets to our East Coast D&D Tour are available from our website, sandspansradio.com slash live.

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Now, you were saying something about caged Pokemon? So the caged Pokemon are fighting because the Pokemon trainer wants them to. The wild ones are fighting for their life. Yes. It's basically the takeaway. Yes. I think it's fucked as well because Mario and all the Mario characters up to this point

just haven't had to deal with the level of technology that all of a sudden they need to deal with. Well, imagine being Link. Yeah. Not just Mario. Because like Mario, there's still technology there. Mario's got a motorbike. Mario's got a motorbike. He's got a motorbike. There is guns because there's those bullet bills.

There is a level of technology in the Mushroom Kingdom that they, and it's probably like a techno kingdom as well that Mario's probably been to. It's like, ah, this is fascinating. It's great to imagine Mario with a Glock and the Glock fires bullet bills, but like little bullet-sized bullet bills. That's good. Because they're alive. Very good.

And they scream as they fly towards a person's heart. Best place to shoot someone's in the heart. Mario's a good shot. Yep. Never misses. If you think about that from Link's perspective where he's like, I know bombs and now someone is getting a, what do you call it?

A Glock with little men firing at my heart. I really like this version where somebody in Smash Brothers has a Glock with little men firing at my heart. I really like this version where somebody in Smash Bros. has a Glock. Well, someone in Smash Bros. does have a Glock. His name is Solid Snake. Oh, that's true. He does. He legitimately has a pistol. It's crazy as well

that Link is fighting Ganondorf in Smash Bros. because Ganondorf's a playable character. And like, sure, Mario v. Bowser, but that happens all the time. They go kart racing, they Mario party. They're like kind of friends. They kind of frenemies you know yeah link and ganondorf actually zelda and ganondorf are friendlier than link and ganondorf yeah absolutely because zelda and ganondorf occasionally are diplomatic yeah occasionally like i i it's like imagine like a smash between link mario var Wario, and Ganondorf.

Link's going to be like, I'm not fighting you guys. That's a villainous man. I need to lock him away in some kind of shadow realm. Yeah. Do you know the trouble he will cause? Why do you got to fight me, Link? Go away, you fat plumber. This man has almost destroyed our entire world multiple times.

Bowser kidnaps one lady. Ganondorf does murders. But, you know, we got a Wario here. Wario, what, is smelly? He eats people? That's fucked up. I'll deal with him in a second. If someone told me that it's canon that Wario shits entire onions,

I would believe it. Like if you do a double jump with Wario and onion plops out, he gets the extra air by letting loose a fat onion. His nose would be so gapey. And sore. Because like an onion

that's a lot of acid. It's so spherical That's not pleasant Come fight me Link Is it a peeled onion In my mind it's got peel on It's a little bit better Don't you wanna fight me Link

Yeah Do you have any of the same You've got Mario and Doctor Mario. That's weird. Sorry to go back to technology. Is the fact now that, say, Link... That's weird. Wait till there's another one that's way worse.

Because Link now has a motorbike. Yeah, that's true. In Breath of the Wild. In Breath of the Wild. Is he being like, Ah, that fight that I had with that gross man who summoned this mythical metal steed. I think I know what to do here.

I like to imagine him... What was the name of the people that created the motorbike in Breath of the Wild? The ancient? Whatever, the ancient. Like him being like, oh, you got your motorbike from the ancient. So I remember being like, no, I stole it. I'll eat it. I stole it from a dead man.

How'd he end up there? I don't know. Oh, nice question. He was like the, I stole it. I'll eat it. I stole it from a dead man. How'd he end up there? I don't know. Don't ask questions. He was like the one I found him. If I don't do anything for long enough, I do a big fart that kills everyone. That's my power in this game. This little fox man, he summoned a ship.

I just fart real good. If I just don't use my fart attack till the very end of the match, and then I use it, it does a lot of damage. So I'm just going to sit here and let it brew. All right? You go take care of everything else.

I'm letting it rumble up in my stomach. I'm going to go sit. I'm going to think about garlic, onions, and titties. I like gapes. What can I say? You ever seen someone I say, Link?

You ever seen someone gape, Link? It's good. It's very good. You can spit down it. Don't touch the sides. Gotta go gape. I just like how clearly Link should leave. The longer he stays, the worse it'll get.

It's funny because Link is being confronted with a world where everyone is like, in three days we are dying. And he's like, that's the second most unpleasant experience of my life. Spending literally a minute with Wario is too much. But yeah, there is one pairing in the Super Smash Bros. roster that would be far more confronting for them and that is Link again.

Poor Link. And Toon Link. Oh, that's true. You're me but... You're me but with cell shades. You're me, but... You're me, but with cell shades. You're me, but wrong. Where are your cell shades? Or Link, again, and Young Link. You're me...

I have to fight the child of me. My child. Child of him? Yes. Or is it the child of a version of him? Well, because then he's going to be like, That is a child of him? Yes. Or is it a child of a version of him? Well. Because then he's going to be like, oh, the Triforce fucked me again.

I guess I lose. Huh? I don't know. I just got hurt. What's more confronting, though, is seeing a young version of you more confronting than seeing a version of you with a diploma. That's the question here.

Mario sees Dr. Mario and he's like, that could be me if I got an education. I guess Mario still can at this point. No, I think what's more confronting is seeing a better version of me. It's far more confronting because remember, it's a fight situation. That's fine. Beat up your child self. That's fine. Or my child being like, I'm going to kick old me in the nuts yeah also fine whereas i'm just like because like whatever we're fist

with fisticuffs yeah this is just like oh that's me with the same age but i guess you know there's a divergent path here where i should have gone to medical school and i guess i instead i did i guess i did well pl Stayed a plumber And rescued some Princesses Why is there not like A Mario for the arts You know what I mean You get your Stem Mario

Who's a doctor I mean You get your Trade Mario Who's a plumber There's Mario paint Oh but there's a Painter Mario

That's good Yeah That's the Mario trifecta there Yeah yeah yeah Where's Mario paint In Smash Brothers That's a good question In his bloody Smock They could have had Waluigi before they had Mario paint there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's Mario Paint in Smash Bros.? That's a good question.

In his bloody smock? They could add Waluigi before they add Mario Paint. I hope they add Mario Paint first. It's what the people want. It's what I want. Everyone tweet Nintendo. Nintendo. Add Mario Paint to the Smash Bros. roster, you cowards. And also Harry Potter. I don't know why,

but I think it'd be good Put Harry Potter in Smash Please People think Goku's gonna be in it Why? No Harry Potter Harry Potter makes more sense

Like he does Barely Like yeah 100% What about the fact that you could be Samus Versus Zeros It's Samus. You're me with less clothes on. Joldusha versus nude Joldusha.

Put your cock away. Bang, bang, bang, bang. I've got a whip. You've got... I'm just imagining you as you are now versus you if you were nude. You have no benefit. If anything, nude you has the power there. No, nude you has a whip and doucha with clothes has a gun

yeah that's true gun v whip who wins and it's the best thing is there because like you're flopping cock around that's going to be distracting you so your aim's going to be off yeah that's my distracted by my own cock you're like put it away something i'd like to go back to that we didn't when i called zero suit sam Samus After finding out the weapons she has Mall Cop Zero Suit Samus We didn't focus on the fact that that means in my world Mall Cops have whips Because I said taser

Yeah but imagine It was also mentioned of a whip earlier Imagine a Mall Cop chasing around a shoplifter With a whip Mall Blot Paul Cop No what? Hang on Mall Blot Paul Copp. No, what? Hang on. More blood, Paul Copp. More blood, Paul Whip.

Is that what you want to do? No, I wanted to say more blood, Paul Copp with a whip, but I said more blood, Paul Copp. You said Paul Copp. Paul Copp. Wake up every morning with a cup of Paul. Well, I guess the benefits of a whip in a small cop situation is that you've got a good reach.

Yeah, wow, exactly. And if you take Paul Blart as a good example, he's a hefty boy. He's got a shape. He's got a thing. Yeah, segue. And with that whip, he's going to be able to get close to someone and then whip them.

A modern-day cowboy. Yeah, I was thinking like a Roman in a chariot. You know what I mean? Except instead of whipping your horses, pulling the chariot, you're whipping a child who's stolen some jeans. You're in a chariot you know what i mean except instead of whipping your horses pulling the chariot you're whipping a child who's stolen some jeans you're in a segue what are they gonna add paul blot malthoff to smash that's my question yeah that makes more sense um who else who else who else who else is on the roster that shouldn't be there well ridley's just a dragon and just recently got out of yeah that's true rid Ridley is not cognizant, right?

No, Ridley has... It's an alien, yeah? Yeah, Ridley has intelligence. Oh, I thought Ridley was just a beast. But also Ridley kills Mario and Mega Man in the reveal trailer. That's intense. Yeah. Stabs them.

No, stabs them. Eating them would be more pleasant Do you think these are the characters from their franchises Or are they like recreations Well the toys yeah Well only in the first one Not in the most recent two and I'm assuming three Like as in I'm assuming the most

The one that's coming Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Yeah it's just gonna be basic smash The first one we got the toy chest Which is the one where you're turning like someone's turning everyone back into toys. Yeah. But that's... So surely if that's the case...

You also get turned back into a toy at the end of Melee. If it's like, you know, a sequel progression. It's just a whole universe or a pocket universe or whatever that is kind of just like... No birth, you're made as a toy, then you come to life, and then when you die after your great success, turned into a toy again. Well, I'm trying to remember what... Is Nintendo

owned by Disney yet? No. Trying to remember what the Wii U, what Super Smash Brothers Wii U... That didn't really have a story from memory. It was just like, go fight, whatever we've said. Yeah, but that is a story. Do you know who the child is? No. Do you think it's Andy?

No. Franklin Richards think it's Andy? No. Franklin Richards. Oh. Reality warping. Reality warping. Does make sense. This is something that Franklin Richards has done before in the comic books. For those who don't really know, Franklin Richards, son of Sue Storm and Reed Richards, he has reality warping powers.

And when every hero dies in the Onslaught saga, instead of them actually just chuffing off this mortal coil, he grabs them all and puts them in a little blue ball and it's a little hero's reborn universe. So he can create a universe. So maybe not Franklin Richards, but like a Franklin Richards-esque power level child. Like a reality warping boy.

Yeah, just someone to be like like i'm making my own little pocket universe here where all the toys come to life and fight themselves and that just means that this whole universe is becoming more and more populated by more and more things and think about it right so this child is like watching things and what are you usually playing when you're like you're very young you're playing nintendo yeah you're playing with your Marios and maybe your Samuses, your Lings, that kind of stuff. But he's getting older. He's experimenting. He's playing some Solid Snake stuff.

He's doing some Fire Emblem things. Bayonetta. Bayonetta. Get a gun. Bang, bang, bang. Big hair. Big hair shoe gun. Yeah.

And so this kid is growing up. And because he's growing up we're seeing some more I guess adult characters Entering this Rio Yeah I'm just a man but I can shoot fireballs That's another weird one For Mario to say Why are you so big

And muscly Why are you wrong You shoot a fireball I shoot a fireball Your fireball are bigger I'm slower though Doesn't bounce No muscle definition. You shoot a fireball, I shoot a fireball. Your fireball are bigger. I'm slower, though. Doesn't bounce.

My fireball... Yeah. Why are you always yelling? Shut up. I can adjust the throw of fireball and not make a noise. I do make a noise when I jump. But I jump high, so I take an effort, all right? That's because I want to. Mario's noise was... That's Link's noise, basically

It sounds painful to be Link Rolling around It's a lot of stress Well, if it's a reality-warping child I mean, I guess that makes a lot of sense It's weird how things are gonna to progress as that kid gets older. Like, what's that kid... What games is he going to...

I guess, like, as a kid discovers a new game, he chucks it in the Smash world. Like, Sonic got added, you know? Yeah, because, again, it's not like an Andy, right, from Toy Story, who is just, like, playing with his toys and they come to life, whatever. This is a child who is playing with his toys but also making them come to life and he's got i guess a bit of blood lust yeah yeah i guess he wants to see him fight imagine it's like a troubled andy and instead of having physical toys he's basically got video games yeah it's a little bit of sid mixed with a little bit of franklin rich with a little bit of Franklin Richards Making some kind of child If you just assume it takes place in the Toy Story universe

It doesn't even need to be a reality warping kid Surely video game is basically a toy So you're playing your Mario or whatever Oh that is off Terrible Spawned out of that That's fucked because it means everyone's alive And in the off time

They just hang out in their little like box It's Wreck-It Ralph meets Toy Story Yeah It just is Wreck-It Ralph But But then they fight God They fight their owner

Yeah Because no monsters, no gods So I guess the implication is that Mario hates God. It's an anarchist game that is rebelling against our creators and for us to become a pure version

of ourselves is to rebel against something that is oppressing us like all kinds of major religions. That's what this episode has been about. A hundred percent. Gotcha. Fight your oppressors.

Kill God. Be God. Be a toy. Yeah. Actually, Mario doesn't believe in God. It's because he killed him. Although Mario would be like, I mean, God, again, the whole thing is a created man in his own image.

Master Hand is Mario's glove. Yeah, that's true. So Mario would look up and be like, That's me. But just on my hand. Wear the rest. Imagine we get to heaven and God is our hand. Welcome, idiot.

Wow. You shared some liberties in creating us in your image, hey buddy? Well, I just made the hand. The rest was... Random. Randomly generated. No one ever has bad hands. A lot of people have bad heads. Think that was on purpose?

Fucking wasn't. I'm scared of heaven now. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've also been Joel. I've been Jackson. Goodbye. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen. Ah, fuck. Thanks for listening, and if you want to follow us on Twitter,

you can find us at Sandspants Radio, or you can find us individually. I'm at Douche13. I'm at OldDogsOfDead. And I'm at GodDammitZammit. If you want to hear our other shows, you can head to sanspantsradio.com and you'll find all our other content there. There's heaps. And if you want to support us,

head to sanspantsplus.com. Thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time. Good night for now. But not forever. Kisses.