Plumbing the Death Star - What Are the Implications of the Minions Being Able to See the Darkness Within Every Human Being?

Episode Date: August 21, 2022

Jackson slept on da Minions and has recently rectified that mistake. Now we all have to put up with his little theories. Join the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts for bonus content and more at apple.co/plumbingthedeathstar Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspantz Network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. And I'm Josejo. And this week we're here to ask the important question, what are the implications of the minions being able to see the darkness within every human being? The Minions, if you boys don't know,

have you seen the two Minions movies? I've seen Despicable Me 1 and 2. Worthless films. You want to see the Minions, then you want to see the Minions Rise of Groot. That's where you get all of the Minions lore. So the Minions, single-celled organisms to begin with, and innately, they always follow the most evil and dangerous and powerful being.

We see this happen in the opening of the Minions 1, where the minions follow a large single-celled organism, then they follow a dinosaur, then they follow Napoleon Bonaparte, etc. etc. Don't they follow Dracula? Yeah, they follow Dracula. They kill him too, which is sad for Dracula. Do they kill the dinosaur? Do they kill Napoleon? They kill everything. They kill Napoleon. They kill Napoleon! Yeah, they kill Napoleon. They drop a cannon on him accidentally. So they kill everything they follow. Well, not Gru. Except for Gru. And not I forget the name of her lady. Sandra Bullock? Yeah, whatever

their boss in Dominions 1. They don't kill her. I'm pretty sure it's Sandra Bullock. I could be wrong, though. Is it a co-evolution where they simply just follow the alpha predator, as it were, and then it's just sure that they kill it, so that then they never suspected for food.

I don't know. They don't always kill. Look, we see them kill a lot of the people that they decide to become dominions of. But they don't kill every single one. And the narrator, the narration, I'm pretty sure explicitly says that the minions have always followed the most evil and despicable being on the planet. Okay, so it's just an evolutionary trait. That's just what minions do. They love evil and they can tell evil.

When they look at someone, they can see the evil innate within their... Did I say the navel? You said the navel. Who knows? They can see the navel, which is the innate evil. The evil innate in every human being. Oh, not even human being. Every creature, every living thing on the planet.

Yeah, dinosaurs famously not human beings. Yeah, that is true. Or polar bears, which they work for for a bit too. How are polar bears evil? Well, this is during a period of time where three minions, Kevin, Stuart, and Bob, have left to go try and find a new boss because the minions have been hiding in a cave because they didn't want to follow Hitler during World War II.

Or the creators of the minions didn't want them because they knew that they'd painted themselves into a corner where the minions would have been Nazis. So they wanted to circumnavigate that. So minions have been around since the dawn of time. Oh, no. Oh, no. What have we done?

What did they do from around the back? Or the 1900s? They put them in a cave. When did they go into a cave? They went into a cave just before World War I, from memory. They come out in the 60s, right? Well, yeah. So Kevin, Stuart, and Bob, the three main minions, they come out in the 60s, right? Well, yeah, so Kevin Stewart and Bob, the three sort of main minions, they

come out in the 60s to try and find a new boss because they're living it pretty rough in the cave. And then the rest of the minions are like, we gotta go find this boss as well. Which US president starts a Vietnam War? I think it's Nixon, right? Is it Nixon? Whoever was before JFK. Didn't Nixon pull him out? Oh yeah, maybe Nixon pulled him out.

I don't know. Anyway. Minions should have gone to Vietnam. Yeah, I agree. I know. But the minions find some polar bears, the main minions, not Kevin, Stuart, and Bob. Yeah. And they're like, maybe these are the- Eisenhower.

Eisenhower. They should have followed Eisenhower into Vietnam. Yeah. But yeah, no. So the minions are like, well, these polar bears maybe are our guys. But the polar bears are like, I'm going to eat this minion or whatever. That's right enough, because polar bears eat penguins. And minions look delicious.

Minions look like yellow penguins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Kevin, Stuart, and Bob go and find Sandra Bullock. I forget her character's name. It's like Scarlet Overkill. Yeah, Scarlet Overkill. Nailed it. And then they see Gru, and Gru just comes in at the very end of this movie,

and he just pranks her He doesn't do anything particularly evil But all the minions are like Damn That's a despicable little boy And then he says Despicable me Despicable me

And so they follow Gru Despicable me is a sick name for the movie It's fucking awesome Despicable me Remember in the song? No. Fucking rules. Up until then, I had given myself a false memory that Happy is actually the Despicable

Me song, but that is Happy Feet 2. I'm going to put down my laptop because I don't want to look up more world tragedies. Yeah. There's a lot. There's a lot. And a lot of them, you know, happened post the 60s. Yeah. So question though, we have for you who have seen Dominions.

Yeah, yeah. And Dominions 2, The Rise of Groot. So you're saying they can see the innate evil within. Is it a visual thing? No, no, no, no. They just, on some subconscious primal level, the minions know. So do they just join, like, okay, so when they're looking, when they join Scarlet Overkill, do they just rock up to her base?

No, so the minions in this situation, they find a pamphlet for a villain con, and they see that the main villain, because she's kind of like the boss villain at the time, is Scarlet Overkill, i.e. kind of alpha predator of the bad guys. And the minions are like, that's the person we've got to be underlings for. And they join this family who are kind of like a national lampoons parody who are also going to villain con and they're also villains and then they go to villain con and then they meet scarlet overkill and scarlet overkill's like i see the function of these minion guys these guys rule they're like and then they work for her then bob becomes the king of england

yeah in a pub fighting people yeah I'm familiar with English history and then at the end the minions um Scarlet Overkill betrays them they're very upset

about this and then Gru in the end comes in and saves the day how do you betray minions well she's like I think she's like I don't like these guys

anymore they're fucking annoying because they are so the minions they see so they well it's a visual thing right because they see the So the minions, they see... Well, it's a visual thing, right? Because they see the pamphlet.

Well, they see the pamphlet, they know she's evil, but it's not like the minions have an extra kind of, you know, like an infrared or whatever. They need to see the evil in someone.

Because there's a lot of evil happening in the world. Yeah. Surely that needs to be in their vicinity where they can see it. Otherwise, they've got to search for it

because they have to search for it. Yeah. And is it the first thing that they see search for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And is it the first thing that they see? So it's like, okay, oh, wow, we saw this polar bear. Well, that's true. We saw a polar bear

just rip the hell out of a penguin. I think this is the other side of the Minions sort of coin is that they're fucking dumb as shit. So yeah, maybe they don't actually know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But primarily,

sort of evolutionarily, they need to find the most evil person. Well, is it evil or just the person in power? No, it's evil, they need to find the most evil person. Well, is it evil or just the person in power? No, it's evil because they don't join the queen. They join Scarlet Overkill. In fact, they supplant the queen. Yeah, they supersede the queen of England.

So Bob becomes the king of England. Yeah, King Bob. Hashtag King Bob. You will always be my king. It is also worth noting that Minions aren't innocent and just trying to do the best because... No, they love evil. They love evil. Because in Despicable Me 3, Gru has gone good and Stu or whatever the fuck, his twin brother,

who's played by Charlie Day, I think. The Minions go with him because he's evil. Yeah, the Minions, and it cannot be said enough, the minions love evil. They love crime. They love pain. They love suffering. If someone's having a bad time, a minion is having a good time.

Okay. So the minions can see in a person they know on some evolutionary level, whether that's a pheromone thing, whether that's a visual thing. They see you and they know on some evolutionary level, whether that's a pheromone thing, whether that's a visual thing, they see you and they know. It's kind of like Ghost Rider's penance there. Except then you get an army? Then you get a fucking

hundreds and hundreds of minions. You're gonna get hit in the dick and nuts with a bat or something. You fuck up your life. But you need to be more evil than the person next to you. Yes, that's true. But that means, say the minions looked at the plumbing boys. Yeah.

The minions could probably raid us from most evil to least evil. Well, no. It'd be just the first person. It'd be the winner or loser who gets the minions and then there would be two losers or winners who don't get the minions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a binary system. It's either you're the most evil or you're not. Yeah, but in a situation where, say, the three of us in the room. Yeah. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I get the minions.

Yeah, 100% yes. But if I wasn't in the room, the minions would have to pick one of you. Therefore, the minions could scale the evil in this room. They could, but they probably don't. No, but they just don't do that. They look around, right? We're sitting next to a big glass window. One of them would throw the other one through it for no particular reason.

I'm a dog. I'm a dog. Because they... Let me get that dog! So in the films, though, it doesn't happen like that. It doesn't instantly happen where they go from one to the other, right? Well, when they see Gru at the end of Minions 1, it's kind of like in a movie where somebody sees their true love or their soulmate

and the world freezes and they're like, whoa. Is Gru a child? Yeah, he's like 10 or whatever. And he hates the Minions. That's what probably draws them to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they see him and they immediately know this guy's a bad guy.

Yeah, and then do they all just shift from Scarlet to... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scarlet Overkill's kind of betrayed them at that point. But yeah, they immediately... Wait, are they... Do they have a person? Do they have a boss at that point? Well, no. Not while Scarlet Overkill's betrayed them, yeah. Is it kind of like a... Bob's the king of England and stuff.

Is it like a hermit crab without a shell? Yeah, they seem pretty lost. And the only time that they are looking for someone new is when they're shell-less. No, because at the end of Despicable Me 3, they're like, well, Gru, we gotta go find someone new. It seems to be with the polar bear or Napoleon or the or the dinosaurs yeah whenever that one dies they move on yeah just kind of like well scarlet overkill doesn't die though well no but she kicks them out yeah yeah she kicks them out group doesn't grew doesn't grow some good now yeah yeah well is that so is it kind of like a hierarchy thing right yeah so they die minions got to go somewhere else

yeah right well they they kick them out they get fired yeah they got to find somewhere else. They kick them out. They get fired. They've got to find somewhere else. Although, in Dominions, The Rise of Gru, Gru fires them because he's about to join the Vicious Six, who were like this big, very... This is interesting, I think. The Vicious Six are the main villains of the 1970s, right? But

Dominions still perceive Gru as being the most evil, which is just interesting, I think. That is interesting. Is it more about potential as opposed to what's happened? I don't know. I'm not sure what's going on there. Potential's scarier.

They can see the potential evil in people. But then Gru becomes good in the end. Wait, the true love thing, right? Yeah. Does it only happen to Gru? Well, Stuart sees a rock or whatever. No, that's Otto. Does it only happen to group? Well, Stuart sees a rock or whatever. No, that's Otto. Oh, Otto. Otto swaps

a thing for rock because he wants to fuck the rock. Well, fair enough. Otto also meets just like kind of like hot biker guy and they become best friends. That's a sort of different situation. So that kind of like that kind of pool focus, the kind of, is it like Sheriff Brody on the

shores of I think that does happen with Scarlet Overkill from memory if it happens to every single one of them it is like a chemical thing yeah yeah

that's what it kind of seems like they seem to see Scarlet Overkill and something activates in their minion DNA in their biology yeah and they're like

we gotta go but then as I was gonna say in the Minions 1 in Minions 2 Rise of Gru, when Gru's gonna join the Vicious Six, he has this kind of conversation with the Minions, where he's like, you're fucking annoying.

And when I'm in the Vicious Six, I think you're kind of gonna wreck my vibe. Yeah. And he fires them. But the Minions chase after him still. They don't accept the firing, which I think is also interesting. Yeah, why don't they accept that firing, but they do accept Scarlet's firing?

I guess Scarlet Overkill's trying to kill them, so maybe on some level... You can't kill a minion. Well, you can't. They're invulnerable. Yeah, they can't die. Oh my god. You can't kill a minion. You literally can't. And I think there's possibly the implication that the minions that are now are the same minions that have always been since the beginning of time,

but it's a bit unclear. So that they are the same? Yeah. Like these minions are sort of like immortal and older than humanity. But they evolved. Do they always have goggles? Yes, they have. And you never see a minion without a goggle except in one fucked up

image that's like promotional and their eyes are really deep set. It's really bad. But yeah, they evolved, but I'm pretty sure, I might be wrong about this, but in the sort of like image that's like promotional and their eyes are really deep set it's really bad but yeah they evolved but i'm pretty sure so they might be wrong about this but in the in the the sort of like uh quick cuts at the beginning of the minions one where it shows all of the people the minions have worked through throughout history i think it's all the same minions but they are single celled yellow minion organisms what do those single cell minion organisms look like like a yellow cell with a goggle it It's got goggles then, too.

I think so, yeah. Because without a goggle, it's a deep set. Or it's like, does that mean that they can't see very far? Is it kind of, again, is it a pheromone thing? Is it a scent thing? Is it a hearing thing? They don't have noses. Okay.

Not having a nose doesn't necessarily mean you can't taste. Do they have ears? They have huge tongues, actually. Like a snake? They've also got arse cheeks. They've have ears? They have huge tongues, actually. Like a snake? They've also got arse cheeks. They've also got arse cheeks, but no hole. How do you know? Because in Dominions, the Rise of Gru...

You see arse, me see minion arse. I'm pretty sure it's Bob. He falls into the airplane toilet. He's dressed as like a stewardess at this point. And then the toilet flushes and all of his clothes come off and he's just got his big minion yellow bum cheeks out. You can kind of see there's no hole. Yeah.

But he does have cheeks and they've got no genitals to speak of. Yeah, because you see them naked in front of him. You see them naked all the time, especially in the Minions Rise of Gru. That's a nude minion extravaganza. Yeah. So no pussies, no dick and nuts. No pussies, no dick and nuts, no hole, no fat tits. Oh yeah, so no

hole, no hog. No hole, no hog. No hole, no hog, baby. No hole, no hog. No nipples. I don't think there's nipples. But cheeks. But cheeks. For sitting. And minions come in multiple different shapes and sizes. It's probably worthwhile getting just basic minion biology out of them. You've got

long tube minion. You've got long tube minion. You've got square kind of like ball minion. Then you've got big ball minion. That's Otto. He's sort of the big ball type. Then you've got sort of somewhere between small ball and tube and then multiple levels of eyes. And those are the minions.

So one or two. One or two. One or two. One or two eyes. One or two eyes. There's no minions with more or less than that. With no eyes two. One or two. One or two eyes. One or two eyes. There's no minions with more or less than that. With no eyes,

it'd be scary. Okay. Yeah, so that's... And then they all wear overalls, but they can do quick costume changes if need be. Yeah, if they need

to pilot a plane. Exactly, or be a stewardess. Or dress just like a 70s hot guy. Which they do as well. When did they start wearing overalls? From the beginning of time.

They invented denim. They also speak a combination of gibberish. Well, it seems to us mere mortals like gibberish. But it's clearly a combination of multiple different world dialects. You can hear Spanish. You can hear Italian. You're the same group of people that have been around since the dawn of time...

Well, I believe they're speaking Enochian, the language of angels. That's just a personal belief of yours? Yeah. It's my own personal Minions fan theory that they speak Enochian, the language of angels. Language of Eden, because they were probably there in the garden.

The secular movie of minions. It would be a bastardization of language of angels, because now it would be adapted and controlled. Influenced by me, us, me immortal. Ever since the fall of the Tower of Babel. Absolutely. They combined. But they can communicate with

everybody. Can they communicate with the polar bear? Yeah, I think so But they can communicate with that. You know, everybody can understand the Minions. Can they communicate with the polar bear? Yeah, I think so. Okay. Language of angels. Language of angels. The Minions speak in Okian. Has a Minions movie ever showed that they're responsible for the Leaning Tower of Pisa

leaning? Because that's the most obvious Minions joke I can think of. Think so? I'm not sure, though. I think it's fucked up to imagine the battle of is it the battle of waterloo that was with napoleon bonaparte yeah imagine being killed by a minion imagine you're sitting there in the freezing trenches with your fucking your a rifle it's got a bayonet on the end over the top of the trench comes a minion! Then it stabs you in the chest.

You stab it a million times with your bayonet and it just squishes into the minion's flesh. Can't be killed. Yeah. Tears you apart with its little hands. I just wanted to find out who the minions had served, and rather annoyingly I entered who have the minions served, so I had to delete that very quickly.

Okay. I had to delete it very quickly. Fair enough. I would make a bomb if I was wanting to be the most evil person or whatever and make it a regular bomb, but then also put minions in it. Oh, okay.

So then you drop the bomb, the bomb goes off, and then minions run out like rats. Yeah, yeah. As everybody is suffering radiation poisoning and burning to death, they are devoured by minions. Yeah, that's pretty fucking horrible.

Have you got a list of the people the minions have served? I'm reading there's like trivia, physiology. Trivia, minions are yellow. Yeah. Have you got any further questions about the minions? Sort of like Dr. Minion here. And sort of, you know, ever since I got my degree in the study of minionology.

Like I just said, their crimes are manslaughter, destruction, theft, aiding and abetting, jailbreak. It's crazy that it's manslaughter and not murder. Well, no, because they never intend to kill their boss.

It's always an accident. If I was Gru, obviously Gru doesn't know the history of the minions, but I would be really concerned. He should watch Minions 1. He should, yeah. He should watch that little documentary at the beginning.

So prehistoric, they served the T-Rex. Yeah. They killed. Egypt, they served Pharaoh. That's right. King Tut. Yeah, King Tut. And then, yeah, French Revolution,

they killed Napoleon by shooting him with a cannon. Oh, they shot him with a cannon. Okay. No, that is right. I thought they dropped the cannon on him, but no, they shoot him. They full-on shoot him, yeah. Yeah. Rough way to go. Yeah, I think so. Okay, now that is right. I thought they dropped the cannon on him, but no, they shoot him. They full-on shoot him, yeah. Yeah. Rough way to go.

Yeah, I think so. So the minions obviously picked the most evil person at the time. Do we think it's worthwhile, say we were the world's governments, to kill Groove? Because is this a baby Hitler situation? Yes. Like, if the

minions were around during World War II, they would have gone, well, pre-World War II, they would have gone to baby Hitler. Yeah. And we would have been like, why are the minions hanging around this baby? With Gru, yeah. But then it's interesting, I think, the minions, I mean, sorry, Gru, he turns good. Yeah, sir, Gru, he turns good. Yeah, so which means that- Does that mean that Gru's crimes in his life of villainy were enough that the minions were like, this guy's the most evil guy? Alternatively, are minions capable of doing what we've said,

seeing the darkness within everyone, but alternatively are also capable of being bad at their job? Yeah. Well, they are dumb as fuck. Or is it a kind of thing where because they went to Gru at such a young age, that was sort of influencing, because it's the whole thing of like, you know, is it nurture versus nature? And so if left up to his own devices,

Gru could have been a complete and utter just monster of a human being. Yeah, yeah. Because of the Minions' influence at such a young age and for so long, it made him incompetent yeah that's true are minions actually using a theory you have yeah angels sent to sent to send sinners to hell or redeem them yeah well maybe as much as the minion can see the innate evil in someone they can also bear witness to the innate good well alternatively they just see the innate evil and then kill those people said condemning their souls to hell yeah well or they redeem them in the

minions the rise of grew there is a villain part of the vicious six known as nun chucks who is a nun and her powers it is implied come directly from god Is this a Bayonetta situation where God is bad and maybe the devil is good? I'm willing to explore it. Because nunchuckers, she fights with nunchucks, obviously. She also flies around enveloped in a holy light. And she is a nun. She has a crucifix around her neck and everything. Do you wish your brain could be worse?

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where we ask the important questions not important enough to be heard by the general public and our monthly What If show where we answer the very important questions posed by Marvel Comics back in 1977. But that's not all. You also get access to Jackson Bailey's Spooks America where Jackson and his good friends try to solve unsolved mysteries with little to no success twice a month. That's four episodes every month, giving you ample opportunity to get actively stupider. Just head to the link in the show notes or search for Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today and start your journey to smooth brain bliss.

Once again, that's Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts. Are we dealing with a monotheism or are we dealing with a polytheism here? Is it the Christian God is the one true God? Is this the thing where they're entertaining? Is this what we're doing? Because Dracula also exists and Dracula hates Christ. Because Dracula seems to not like crosses. Good point.

Maybe some other worthwhile bits of lore in Dominions Derise of Gru. They find an amulet that contains within it the spirit of the Chinese Zodiac, which can be released and can envelop a person to give them the powers of the specific animals

within the Zodiac. I'm reading, again, I've got a timeline here. That's really useful. Which is 4.6 billion years ago, Earth forms, and 3.8 billion years ago, the minions come into existence. And they begin looking for a new boss. And then from 70 million to... God and or

Satan sends them to Earth. So 250 BC. Pretty early, before we have the capacity to sin. They also serve a caveman. Okay, yeah, yeah. So it's a minion server. Cavemen are sinning. X-Caveman, Pharaoh. That's the beginning of sin.

The named bosses are all destroyed in the process. So once again, the downfall seems to be the minions themselves. Yeah. Just like in 1431, Dracula is born. Yeah, yeah. Thank you, minions. Good stuff, good stuff is born. Yeah, yeah. Thank you, minions. Good stuff, good stuff. Okay.

Yeah. Okay, so the minions celebrate Dracula's 357th birthday in 1788, but Dracula changes into ashes under sunlight. Yeah, because the minions are like, it's too dark in here. And they open the blinds and they kill Dracula. In 1812, Napoleon is hit by the cannonball because of the minions' carelessness. I wonder if

the minions have ever committed like a full-on crime really, when you think about it. They've done a lot of manslaughter, which is a crime. But I don't know if they've ever murdered anybody. That's what I said! Yeah, maybe you're right. But the other stuff

on the list is also definitely crimes. Yeah. Did it take vehicular manslaughter? They hijack a plane in The Minions The Rise of the Crew.

Oh. That is a crime. It's an act of terror. What do they do with the plane? They fly it. They just fly it. Yeah, but why?

So the minions need to get to San Francisco or San Francisco because that's where Gru has been kidnapped by Wild Knuckles. And they arrive at an airport, but obviously minions have no money. Okay? Minions be poor.

So they're like, how do we get onto this plane? And then they see coming through the door of the airport two handsome pilots and a stewardess. And they're like, ah, but no, no. And then they beat them up. Quick cut. And we see, no, no, they don't beat them up. We'll take the clothes. Quick cut. They just have the pilot's clothes and the stewardess clothes for a minion. And then they beat them up. Quick cut, and we see, no, no, they don't beat them up, we'll take the clothes. Quick cut, they just have the pilot's clothes

and the stewardess' clothes for a minion. And then they get in the plane, they were just let on board, I guess, and then they just fly it. They're not very good at flying it. Oh, no. But they get to San Francisco. They don't crash.

That's good. Is there people in the plane? Yeah, and Bob, dressed as a stewardess, goes around giving them one peanut each. Okay, and then he goes to the toilet and gets his clothes sucked off. Then he goes to the toilet and gets all his clothes sucked off, yeah. Does he then come back onto the plane naked? No, that's kind of when they land, because they land so chaotically.

Then they're in San Francisco, and they go and learn kung fu from an acupuncturist. They're not very good at it, but she doesn't seem to care. Is that where they use Bob's head to break a brick or something? Yeah, that's where Stuart tries to break the brick with his hand and he can't do it. And then, sorry, Kevin tries to break the brick with his hand, and then Stuart's like

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. And then he grabs Kevin's head and slams it in instead of doing karate himself. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, it's really good. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. So in terms of a most evil person that they go to, so in the Saturday Morning Minions, Jackson, I don't know if you're aware of this.

I don't know. I know there's a Minions TV show that has this. So it takes place one month after the events of Despicable Me 3. Oh, okay. Where most, not all, most minions leave Drew. Oh my God. And reunite with Gru. Okay.

That's interesting. Does that mean Gru didn't stay good? Or did he redeem them? Are the minions good now? Or do they just go to what they think is the most evil, but really, ultimately, they're just looking for protection. Yeah, okay. But they are invulnerable. They cannot be killed or harmed.

But do they know that? They can be hurt, I guess. Are they sent to cleanse the world of sin is still something that I am. Yeah, maybe. But then the greatest sinners are a dinosaur, a caveman, Napoleon Bonaparte, and Dracula. Would you consider them the greatest? Well, I would say that most of those things are an affront to Christ. Okay.

But the nun. The nun's a tricky part. Because they attack the nun. They attack. They beat the shit out of the nun. The nun becomes a big cobra, and one of them, as a chicken, fights the nun. A cobra. The Chinese zodiac.

The Chinese zodiac. The nun gets the power of the Chinese zodiac. And then the chicken minions lay an egg egg and another minion comes out of it. Yeah, that's a further implication of the minions we need to examine at some point. The minions don't produce or reproduce except the one time where one minion becomes a chicken because of the magic of the Chinese Zodiac. And then shoots out another minion. And then shoots out a chicken egg.

And then when the Chinese Zodiac amulet turns back into regular minions, the chicken baby minion stays the chicken baby minion. Well, yeah, because it didn't exist before that. Yeah, well, yeah. It's fucked up. Created life. I get it. That makes sense.

Wait, who thought? No, it doesn't make sense. But if the minions have been put on this earth to cleanse it of sin. Wait, sorry. Did Minion Chicken fuck a chicken? No. Fuck a rooster? The Chinese Zodiac Amulet.

Yeah. The leader of the Vicious Six. Was that Minion already pregnant? We don't know. Had that Minion already fucked a chicken? Well, they got no genitals or holes. So, unless it's from slop jobs or whatever. They got a mouth hole.

From Minion slop jobs. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. But yeah. Minions get pregnant through the ingestion of... Crumb? Or is it like a snake where they can just have a... Wet patch?

No. Like a frog? No. Where they can just kind of give like a live, like I'll give birth to like... Like an asexual live birth. Asexual reproduction, yeah. This time with the chicken. Or they are producing asexually and it this time with the chicken or are they or they are producing

asexually and it just happens to be that when they transform to a chicken they get their reproductive organs off their chicken and then

well they lay yeah they do lay an egg but does that mean when it gets turned to laying an egg sorry when it gets turned to a chicken

which lays an egg yeah does that mean the Chinese Zodiac is giving it hull? Yeah. Or does it already have hull? I've seen the Minion's ass.

There's no hull. Yeah, but the butt cheeks presumably are touching. But they have a mouth and teeth and tongue, which means that they can eat. Oh, they eat. So it's got to go somewhere. Yeah, I suppose so. They've got a hull. They must have hull.

They must have one hull, like a kolaka, I guess. Even like a single cell organism, right? If it's sort of... Yeah, if stuff goes in, stuff's got to come out. He has like a waist. So is our... What we've come across here, that when the leader of the Vicious Six in dragon form

uses the power of the Chinese Zodiac to turn the minions into little animals, the one that became a chicken, I think Bob, who then lays an egg out of a hole it already had, a cloaca, which is lucky because chickens also have cloacas. That is handy. Not a huge change. Difficult for the rabbit minion,

who now has presumably rabbit genitals. Yeah, then that minion was already pregnant from sucking someone up. For the ingestion of calm? Or is this just a fucked up once-off where the minions previously have no holes or ways of reproducing? Well, they would have had...

They definitely have a hole, they just don't have a way of reproducing. What if the minion is the perfect organism where it takes in like an angel? Angels also have no genitals. Yeah, yeah, the minions are angels. Can you quickly Google, do angels have holes?

Because, okay. Do angels shit? Surely not. Shitting's a sin. Yeah. Okay. So, the reason we- I see you're also a race Catholic.

The reason we shit, right, is because when we take stuff in- The reason we shit, right. Yep. Yeah, we take stuff in. We take stuff in. Yep. Okay. We get all the nutrients and stuff that we can from it. Yeah, we take stuff in. We take stuff in. Okay. We get all the nutrients and stuff that we can from it. Yeah.

We digest what we eat. Yeah, exactly. And then the stuff that is no good to us, we shit out. What if the minion, being the perfect organism, can turn 100% of what it consumes into energy and power? Where does it go? It doesn't go anywhere. It goes into the minion system to make them stronger.

Okay. And that's why they're invulnerable. Exactly. If you've got something that weighs 10 kilos, and you put one kilo into it, it's now 11 kilos. The minions are expelling and expending energy so rapidly that they burn through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like that. Yeah, yeah. If they're producing enough energy and their internal systems are running at a certain- They're perfect. They're running at 100% perfection. And then they- Well, if they don't eat, they're diminishing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they have to eat, right? Do they eat a lot? Do they eat anything? How much do they eat? They eat kind of whatever they can find, really. But they're not like- Like rats. Yeah, they're yeah. But do they have to eat, right? Do they eat a lot? Do they eat anything? They eat kind of whatever they can find, really. But they're not like rats. Yeah, they're not constantly eating. It's just like if you're...

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if they're in a cave... Yeah. They don't eat in the cave. I don't think they have to eat. So then no. So then they can't... They might also get energy from sunlight.

We don't know. But if they're in a cave, and they're not leaving the cave, how are they getting energy from the sunlight? They do seem weaker in the cave. They're more tired. More lethargic, I guess. Anyway. Are they cold-blooded? We never seen a minion...

Do they have blood? We've never seen a minion bleed or really take damage. They actually don't seem to have much in the way of internal organs because they can get squished into a wall and they just kind of like crumple up or whatever. So is a minion basically just a yellow casing over one tube that goes from their mouth? I would assume they're arseholes.

Yeah, yeah. I suppose minions must... Look, they're covering up something with the overalls. Yes. So, you know, somewhere... But not much because they're happy to lose the overalls every now and then. Well, they don't like it when they lose the overalls. They don't stay nude.

Do minions. This is probably important. Feel shame. Or have original sin. This is a really big, irrelevant question. Well, I mean, they would have been around for it to have happened. If they were in the Garden of Eden. They would have been teamed up with the snake.

Yeah, that's true. They would have been like, abadah, apu. Bonanno. Yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Eve apple. And then she would have eaten it.

Oh, no. And then God kicks them out of the Garden of Eden. But then. Would they go to God for kicking out Adam and Eve? Adam and Eve commit the original sin, so therefore they're the most evil people on earth at that point. Not more evil than Satan in the form of a snake. That's true. Satan in the form of a snake. That's true. But also Cain and Abel come along.

Oh, yeah. Who kills who? Whichever one was eaten, Dior is killed by the one that was eaten, Grapes. Yeah. Grapes confirmed make you murderous. So they go to, say, Cain or whatever, and then Abel's like,

what you planning on there, brother? I'm just going to eat these grapes and hold this rock. Why are the minions hanging around? You know the minions we all know of. Why are they hanging around you, dude? Previously they were hanging around the devil, and now it seems like they're your good friends. That's interesting.

That is interesting. We know about the minions. I think that's an interesting thing as well. We as a society, we've seen the minions. One of them was the King of England for a brief period of time. How did they get dethroned? It goes by blood, right? Yeah, I forget the specifics.

He might pull out the King Arthur's sword. He might pull out Excalibur. Bob has Excalibur for a bit. Something like that, yeah. And then he becomes the King of England. King Bob. Yeah. So then how does he get dethroned?

I think he just gets abdicated. He just abdicates, yeah. Okay. And lets the queen back, yeah. Okay. That's got to have some wild implications. I don't know if I'd follow the queen after a minion picked up Excalibur. I think what's crazy about that is that if Bob had stayed king,

because the minions can't die, he'd have been like a kind of forever king. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And he doesn't want us. You can't send him to the UN or whatever. Well, you can. Oh, yeah. He can buy you a banana.

Banana. What a banana trade happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all good. Do they eat bananas? No, they just like them because they look like them, I guess. Oh. And what, is this Queen Lizzie?

Yeah, it's Lizzie. Okay. So once again, it's not like they're becoming the king or queen when, say, like the king or queen has a huge amount of power. No, no, no, no, no. Look, the implications of King Bob probably wouldn't be that long-lasting. They would just be on our welcome. He'd just have to make-

Oh, that rules. Give me 20 Bob. People already use Bob to mean dollar. Whoa. 20 Bob, but it's because of King Bob. Bob would have to make a Christmas address, though. Get my dub without a kid dub. Merry Christmas. Present. Present. Maybe that would rule

Like in a solemn address Yeah So this is in the- Bad did that. Yeah. So this was in the 60s. So how would Bob have spoken at Queen Di's funeral? Would Queen Diana be alive?

Probably. Well, yeah, because Bob doesn't want- Yeah, Bob didn't want to kill her. Yeah. Bob wouldn't have killed Princess Di. Bob would never have killed

Princess Diana. Unless she was- Bob's kind of the fucking- Unless she was at one point the most evil person and by pure accident. Yeah, are we saying Bob did kill Princess Di? Well, no, because here's the thing about Bob.

Would Bob sig candles in the wind with Elton John at Queen Di's funeral? The thing about Bob, though, is that he's the heart and soul of the main trio. Bob's the sort of sensitive one. He's often got like a stuffed toy or whatever. I'd be really sad when Princess Diana died. He would be weeping when Princess Diana died. Stuart was sort of like a sort of horn dog. He's sort of like the root rat of the minions.

And then Kevin's sort of like the brains of the operation. He's sort of the clever one of the main three. And then Otto won't shut the fuck up. But Princess Diana would never have happened anyway If Bob had remained king Because there'd be no Princes to marry That's true

To try and consolidate Your power Yeah that's a good point Charles would have been Alive in the 60s Yeah but Charles Is no longer part of The royal family

That's true Unless Bob All the way down Unless Bob can Shit out a chicken Well Bob is the one Bob is the one that gives birth. A royal scandal of the King of England slopping off a chicken.

They'd give birth to one. That means the king. The prince is now a half-chicken, half-minion. It's probably for the best that Bob abdicated the throne, let's be honest. Should we be worried when Gru dies of old age and the minions have not aged a fucking second?

Should we be paying attention to who the minions go to next? Depends what Gru has done. Yeah, I would say that based on Gru's activities, not really. Gru tries to steal the moon. Yeah, tries is a good operative word there, try. Well, okay. Gru does save the world from the vicious six, I guess.

But I will say that, when does he try and steal the moon? That would be in Despicable Me 1. That's his plan. I actually don't know if he goes through with it. I didn't like Despicable Me 1. It wasn't enough minions. There was too much of the-

I don't care about Gru and his daughters. Who gives a shit? Give me hardcore minion actions. So fluffy, I could die. Yeah, exactly. That was crazy that that took off. I think I've said this before, but it's funny.

That was the meme from Despicable Me until everyone realised no the meme is minions the meme is minions the meme is minions yeah so memians memians

thoughts? I don't like it fuck but here's the thing about the world of the minions because this is also worth exploring

there are supervillains everywhere yes and supervillain conventions and okay supervillain TV shows they started in 1880 I believe yeah well yeah see there you go so worth exploring there are super villains everywhere yes and super villain conventions and okay they started in 1880 i believe yeah well yeah see there you go so following grew and grew turning out to be good yeah minions i mean if his plan at one point was to steal the moon that's a fucking

yeah that okay so if that happened in currently if someone destroyed or moved the moon, that would be a global catastrophe unlike anything we've ever seen before. Causing basically human genocide. So if he does do that, that would easily make him the most evil person. Yeah, but he doesn't do it. No, but if they can see the potential. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what if it's, so the minions aren't so much, they go towards, say, the greatest evil or whatever,

but then they also then cause them to do the greatest good. So the greatest good that Napoleon ever did was get him killed. So maybe it's the kind of thing where the influence of the minions is that they actually, while they are kind of like if they're speaking with the voice of angels the language of Adam if they're there

to make change, if they're there to kind of like glom onto the person who needs us the most while we are walking down the beach and whatever, we carry you why did I look back? I only see thousands of different footprints. Thousands of tiny little weird

fucked up dot feet or whatever. Adababidia! Go! So maybe it's the kind of thing where they need to go to the being of most evil to turn them to do the most good. And so therefore sometimes the best thing

that Napoleon ever did was get shot by a cannon. Same with Dracula. You can't turn Dracula good because Dracula is innate, will always be drinking blood. The best thing for Dracula, he needs to get got by sunlight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He needs to burst in the beautiful light of Jesus. So that actually, I'm glad you said Jesus because that's what got me thinking. Yeah. Because there's a very, actually a key point that people don't Jesus, because that's what got me thinking. Yeah. Because there's a very, actually, a key point that people don't often speak about with the

crucifixion of Christ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is that Pontius Pilate is like, you fucking idiots. Yeah. You don't want to kill this man. And they're like, oh, no, we want to kill this man. That's obviously part of God's plan, not to be confused with Drake's God's plan, which I don't know what that plan is.

I can't remember. It's hard to tell. Dancing? Yeah. Could be. to be confused with Drake's God's plan, which I don't know what that plan is, I can't remember. Dancing? If Pontius Pilate needs everyone to agree to crucify Christ, which is God's plan, because Christ needs to die to atone the sins of humanity,

minions screaming do it, or whatever. So in the minions maybe wearing, because this is another thing about the minions, nobody ever seems to find them strange Or monstrous even though they are I've seen them dressed as Romans in something Yeah well other minions were the minions

The Romans During the crucifixion of Christ Was there a minion with a big spear Stabbing it on the Christ's breast Because we're of Longinus Part of God's plan Minions put the crown of thorns on Jesus' head. Yes.

So you're saying that, yes, even though we need the crowd to incite to kill him, you're saying that minions are the crowd, or the minions are the people the crowd can be like, yeah, do it. So you're also implying that the death of Dracula was for humanity's sins? No, I'm saying that if they-

If God wants people to die, he sends the minions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, if it's to stop tragedy. Or to stop evil. Or to stop evil, but like Christ needed to die. That was always the thing. It's not like him dying is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just that that has to happen. Well, I'm trying to remember. It's largely neutral. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you saying? Yeah, it's medium. It's the first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you saying? Yeah, it's medium. It's a thing that happens. It's just a thing that has to happen.

It's a fixed point in time. It's not good. It's not bad. It just is a thing. It's a thing. You can't change it. It's like the volcano going off. The extinction.

Crack it down. So in the Minions, what's the name down. So in the Minions, what's the name of the boss in the Minions? I forgot. Scarlet Overkill. Scarlet Overkill. She, I think, is actually trying to become the Queen of England. And they stop her.

And Bob succeeds. I think that's actually how that kind of fucks up because the plan is for her to become the Queen of England, but then Bob does whatever she was meant to do. So the point, my larger point is maybe because the Minions stop her from become the Queen of England, but then Bob does whatever she was meant to do. So the point, my larger point is maybe, because the Minions stop her from becoming the Queen of England. Yeah. Is it God's plan to have Lizzie on the throne?

Well, if you ask a royal, they're often saying that they have been chosen by God. Okay, so maybe within the wider context of the Minions universe, that's true. God, for some reason, needs the British royal family in charge. It comes back to nunchuck. Yeah, nunchuck. Well, is she a nun or is she a fallen nun?

Yeah, maybe. I mean, no, because she is powered. And she turns into a snake, though. Which is basically sin. That is Satan. Yeah, but she's powered by the light of God. Is she? Or is she powered by the light of sin? And let me actually point you to a point in the Bible where Jesus goes to the desert for 40 days and 49,

and he is tempted by Satan who tries to trick him. Maybe this nun was tricked. Maybe it's a fallen nun. She is a supervillain. So that's probably not really part of God's plan. How did she turn into Snake? It's part of the Chinese Zodiac. She becomes Snake. John Claude

Van Damme, who's a lobster man. He becomes a bull, maybe. I don't need his information. I was wondering if it maybe was to do with the innate sinfulness that she becomes Snake. I think that there is something in that. None becoming a snake.

There's 12 animals within the Chinese Zodiac and many of them are not used. She could have become a pig or a chimp. Tiger. Yeah, yeah, tiger.

I think one of the other members of the vicious six becomes a tiger. Yeah, no one becomes a rat. I imagine if the minions became rats. I think they become a chicken,

a bunny rabbit and a sheep. Yeah. Okay, okay. So yeah, but there is something that of all of the animals I think they become a chicken, a bunny rabbit, and a sheep. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, yeah.

But there is something that of all of the animals within the Chinese zodiac, the one chosen for nunchuck is the one most associated within Christian theology with sin. Really makes you think. Yeah. I think it's all leading to the fact that minions can sense the innate the innate evil within people because they are sent by god as angels to earth yes and is it a thing where as opposed to like you know um so they yes they go and sense the with the most evil the most sin and they try and like instigate change yeah i'm doing like giant evil yeah and the the whole like you know they um you know because the difference between angels and humanity humanity is that humans are given free will. Yeah.

We have the option to do, we have the option to sin. Yeah. Whereas angels slash minions. Yeah, yeah. They cannot. Well. So. Yeah.

So they send these, like these angels to see what they can do to these people. And then those people either choose to be good. Yeah. Like Gru. Or they don't. And then they end up dead. Like Dracula or Napoleon or T-Rex. Or a caveman. Or a caveman.

It really falls apart around the T-Rex life. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, the T-Rex could have changed. T-Rex is pre-guy. So if there's no guys to sin, you've got to have a sinful animal. What's more sinful than a T-Rex? Exactly, a T-Rex, a tyrant lizard. Well, now I'm wondering if the minions have free will.

Because Otto, well, they don't because they are attracted to or they are drawn to the most evil person. Again, that whole pull focus kind of stuff. They have no control over that. They are drawn to it. But they have control over other elements of their life. Gru, who has the Chinese

Zodiac amulet to begin with, he used to belong to the Vicious Six, who stole it from Wild Knuckles. Gru gives it to Otto to look after,

to take home. Otto swaps it with a rock because he wants to fuck the rock. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but what's the... Is that... Well, because he's horny,

he wants to fuck that rock. He can't stop that. Well, but what's the free... Is that... Well, because he's horny, he doesn't want to fuck that rock. He can't stop that. Well, if they're drawn to the person that they need to be drawn to, they can still have free will within that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just their destiny. It's less free will and more destiny, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it like a love thing for the rock? Does it get the whole same... Here's what happens. He's taking the amulet back to the secret laboratory he looks at the rock which is a is a pet rock yeah given to a kid with big hair as part of a birthday party big love heart eyes on the rock and on Otto yeah quick cut Otto is giving the army because the kid doesn't like the rock is a bad present they. Then Otto takes the rock back to Gru.

He's like, check it out. Gru's like, Otto, dude, I wanted the Chinese Zodiac amulet. Otto is distraught because he's upset Gru. Then he gets on a tricycle. He rides to the kid's house. The kid's like, I don't have it. I gave it to my uncle. The uncle is a hot biker.

He's got the amulet around his neck, and he drives off on a motorbike. Otto gets on his tricycle, chases him. The guy on the motorbike notices, like, miles, like, somewhere in the middle of Nevada. He gets off. He's like, dude, what's going on? And Otto's like, San Francisco. And he's like, oh, yeah, I'm heading that way anyway. Otto gets on the back of his motorbike, and they have a road trip together.

I forgot where I was going to say. And does Love Heart happen with the biker as well? No, no, they just get on really well. I was wondering, is it a thing where he was just drawn to what would eventually be the biker? He just liked The Rock. Or is he looking at The Rock as like, that has, for Otto because Otto, say, is a

prehistoric angel. Yeah, yeah. He understands Rock because maybe he saw a certain cane. He killed Abel with it. Brick Abel. So he's like, oh, I know, that's a tool of evil. And I will give this to my evil master.

No, Otto loves the rock and really likes having it. He loves having the rock. Does he keep the rock? Yeah, I think so. Well, he shows it because Gru's like, where's the amulet? I think Otto's implication is that the rock is better than the amulet.

Because in Otto's twisted minion mind it is. Yeah, well you can't fuck the amulet. Well, you can't kill Abel with an amulet, you can with a rock. Yeah, well I mean like this could all just be part of destiny. And yeah, I think it's a, we've actually come on a fucking rock solid theory.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The minions, whether or not they're specifically angels, they definitely speak Enochian and they are absolutely agents of some higher power. Well, that's what I'm kind of thinking. Like they are there to any of these like world changing events because if Dracula had kept like, you know, living past his kept living past his 375th birthday, then that just spells a lot of doom for people.

World War I could have started way earlier. If Dracula would have started it, it would have been fucked up. Transylvania would have become maybe a superpower nation. Yeah, you're killing Napoleon. France could have become

a superpower. But that's still 375 years of the minions helping Dracula suck the blood of innocents. Well, yeah, because you kind of like, maybe they're giving him a couple chances. You know, maybe that's what they learned their lesson. The Twelve Apostles didn't keep their hands clean either.

This is kind of a crack a few eggs God, and I like that. He's figuring it out. He's like, well, we're going to do it. Okay, Dracula's sucking the plot of innocence. That's one century gone by. This century is his, though. Is Dracula, is that basically a being of the devil?

It's like a fallen angel-y type thing. They don't go into the Dracula lore, unfortunately. Is the lore around some Draculas that it has to do with devils or demons or something along those lines. Not the normal Dracula lore. They don't like a crucifix. Yeah. But they're considered unnatural. Yeah. I'm just wondering if like,

this is where maybe, uh, so, you know, the minions, the minions went to Dracula to try and change him, kill him or whatever. Yeah.

But because of the unnatural, like aura around a Dracula, maybe they were swayed by that a little bit. Because Dracula can hypnotize, right? But they also let Napoleon Bonaparte clearly start that war. Some bad things needed to happen, I guess. Look, either good nor bad. They're just a thing that happened. Fixed points in time.

They let Scarlet Overkill. There's a lot of sin that happens Before the minions kill I'm starting to wonder if the minions Though I still believe firmly they speak Enochian I think they might be a sort of third Faction in this holy war Between good and evil

God, Satan and minions Well again, yes they can speak Enochian But you know Fallen angels were still angels. They've got to speak too, Jack. Is it Lucifer, a fallen angel? Yeah, he is. Maybe the minions are the devil.

Well, okay, so angels stayed in heaven except for the fallen angel who started hell. And maybe minions were angels that fell sideways. Yeah. And Prish didn't like the morning star be like, Ah, more of you cunts come down this way. And they're like, yeah, okay. But no, no. You know, it could also be like

a kind of like an evolutionary thing within the minions where they're like, eventually my boss will get sick of me and fire me. So if I kill my boss before that happens. You can't fire me, I kill you. Maybe they are actually sinful pieces of shit. And just what we're told they are, they are.

They're just evil dumb fucks grotesque loathsome pills wholist freaks ancient as time yeah impossible to kill loathsome because if they are just the embodiment of sin but they also are single cell organism and no brain you know and if they're the whole idea of like, what is evil and evil for like, you know, five point whatever years ago. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like, that's a different version of what evil is today.

And they're like, yeah, move the moon. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's pretty bad. Yeah. It's sad that all this minion talk has given me a desire to hit a minion with a shovel, but I, yeah. They would love it!

I cannot because they do not exist. That is sad. The feeling of a shovel coming down onto a minion's head as it squishes in but also bends the shovel. Retracts kind of like a spring. The more I think about it

the more I think that they are the voice of God the embodiment of an angel coming down to try and almost kind of put humanity on a better path. Yeah. Because even though, yeah, sure, it's like 375 years of sucking the blood of innocence or, hey, yeah, we're going to deal with Napoleon. Maybe at that point, like maybe Napoleon is like trying to instigate change or do these kind of things.

And, okay, maybe not. Or it's this kind of stuff where maybe they're here on a mission from God, like the Blues Brothers. Yeah. They're here on a mission from God. All right. Well, the Blues Brothers sin. Yeah, that's true. Good point.

They also say fuck to a nun or whatever, and she hits them with a stick. And the minions throw themselves at a nun. They do kung fu to her face. Yeah, so minions are Blues Brothers, and they're on a mission from God. Maybe it's on a mission from God to try to kind of steer humanity into a certain way.

Maybe they're just sort of glomming onto the most evil person because they have the most evil plans, i.e. let's move the moon. But if they did that, that would just at least create a second flood. And at the moment we don't have the most evil plans, i.e. let's move the moon. But if they did that, that would just, you know, at least create a second flood. And at the moment, we don't have the sort of like, you know, the asshole god who wants destruction. We have more of the benevolent one who's like,

no, let's not flood everybody. So New Testament sort of. Yeah. The minions are sort of a tool of the New Testament god. If we have the minions there, then at least, you know, the moon don't get moved. Yeah. Yeah.

I think the most important thing, we've given everyone a lot to think about. Are the minions a tool from the divine or are they something unknowable and eldritch? I don't think we... It's interesting to discuss, but I don't know if we'll ever come to a conclusion. I don't know if we can, because again, there's good arguments

for them being divine, but there's also some pretty good arguments for them being eldritch beings. There's also some good evidence of just them being a neutral force of nature that just is. They are neither good nor bad. They just are. They just are. They're fixed point in time.

Yeah. Minions just are. But they are also bad. But they just are. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. I've been there. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel.