Plumbing the Death Star - What are the Ramifications of Liar Liar?

Episode Date: April 27, 2015

In which our heroes make a wish, blurt out the truth without thinking and hijack an airport staircase, all while wondering what the ramifications of Liar Liar are? We look at how much of Fletcher’s motivation comes from redemption versus compulsion, if he should have a spin-off buddy film with Robocop, try to figure out if the kid making the wish has magical powers and as a group completely misunderstand how the powers of the wish work. Jackson wants Fletcher to use his powers for good, Zammit is convinced Jim Carrey knows everything and Duscher just wants people to stop comparing things to the film Lucy. It’s a case of disorder in the court as we try desperately to lie and just end up with blue ink all over our faces.Want to help us come up with a wish based truth serum? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in our ability to handle the truth! Wait, no, that isn't right...And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixteen book about the power of birthday wishes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sanspence Radio. Three guys, five balls. Okay. Sick. We both started at the same time there, so hey. I'll go. So in the Jim Carrey classic, Liar Liar, Jim Carrey is a negligent father who often lies. Yes. And then one birthday eve or day, his son makes a wish that Jim Carreyrey could never lie again yes he makes a wish

on his candles okay there's ramifications for that alone but let's get magic is real guys wishes work let's get to that in a moment yeah all right okay so jim carrey from the morning after i think cannot lie yeah uh he has sex with the lady. It's not great. Was that good for you? I've had better. Yeah, I've had better. Out you go. He farted in an elevator. Everyone's like, who did that? He's like, it was me. He stopped for tickets. He's like, you know, we did your speeding. Yes, I do.

And look at all my unpaid parking tickets. Exactly. There's a point where he tries his darndest to call a red pencil blue or vice versa. I can't remember. But it doesn't work work but then there's a point in the courtroom scene no blue pen red blue pen pretty much irrelevant but there's a point in a courtroom scene where he tells the judge that he's holding onto his urine he's not pissing right yeah he's busting to go we need a break because he's like this reason he's like nope he's like uh

i need to pee and this causes a urinary infection. And the judge is like, is that true? And then Jim Carrey's like, it must be. I said it. Yeah, because by this point, Jim Carrey's cottoned on that he can't lie. So the implications there that Jim Carrey knows the answer to all questions? Yes, because I don't think Jim Carrey in Liar Liar, I don't think Liar Liar, that's what I'm going to call him from now on

I don't think Liar Liar I don't think he's got any medical training I don't think he would have known that He's not even, like a big shot lawyer is never at any point going to find out and he doesn't even say yeah look I know it, he's like I said it so he's aware

So does that mean that jim carrey or liar liar yeah is um um uh what do you call omnis omniscient omnipotent omnip now that's all powerful i think omniscient is all knowing okay omni science is he omni science yes does that mean you could ask jim carrey any question his name is fletcher reed it's liar liar let's just go with liar liar yes if you ask liar liar any question he could tell you the absolute truth yeah yeah based on that one quarter scene it's like hey what's the meaning of life he'd be able to tell you exactly what that is so what the ramifications of that i mean or can he not answer questions what do you mean if you're

like hey what's the meaning of life he would just be like i don't know so if there was a question that didn't have a clear answer so if he was if you went to jim car? If you're like, hey, what's the meaning of life? He would just be like, I don't know. So if there was a question that didn't have a clear answer, so if you went to Jim Carrey and you're like, how does blue feel? Something that's different for different cultures and shit. He wouldn't be able to, he just wouldn't have an answer. Or would he have all the answers? And would he just have all the answers

from, say, today's culture, i.e. from now, or could he tell us what prehistory, what they felt about the colour blue would you have to get specific with them would you have to be like jim carrey start listing shit off because then you then you interrupt him like can you be specific about this well could you be like all right what did say um sammy the suck have for breakfast um in 2000 bc uh living in this particular village. Yeah.

He would know. He's incapable of lying. Well, I think the thing is, and what we need to focus on, is the fact that in the courtroom he says that and they're like, is that true? He's like, it must be. I said it. Means that he might have read that somewhere

and is regurgitating knowledge and knows that it's true. That's true. Because he said it. So it surprised him as well yeah like so was he like flipping through like a natural geographic and just sort of remembered that somewhere but even the ramifications of that are insane because that means that he effectively whilst not having photographic memory could recall if he wanted any point in his own history if you're like liar liar 1976 october 12th 3 p.m what were you doing he'd tell you it's happened

to him it's in there he's done a lucy in a weird way and unlocked his like not that that's a thing that doesn't even make sense it makes so much sense your brain is always using all of it i will not sit in a room while someone fucking bad mouths lucy it's not like doctors open up your brain and they're like what the fuck is all this for? This is 90% of bullshit. We don't even know what it's done. Is this the flying lobe? I don't know.

Is that the turn into USB bit? Yeah. Yes. These are negligent doctors. Don't jab a brain. But he's kind of done that. Let's talk about Lucy for one moment. It annoys me that people are like, Don't jab a brain. But he's kind of done that. Let's talk about Lucy for one moment. Okay.

It annoys me that people are like, so human capacity is to turn into a USB. No, she turns into like, she just gets absorbed into like life. She becomes USB because she can be anything. See, their arguments are stupid, Jackson, because it's not turning into USB. It's turning into everything. It's turning into a goo thing

and being able to teleport at will. Guys, I don't care. I just want to talk about Liar Liar. Me neither. I was sort of mocking him. But go on. Another weird aspect of Liar Liar is the fact that it seems to be a compulsion

for him to tell the truth. Yes. Yes. I was going to mention this actually later on when that dude asks what's up he says you're cholesterol fatty that isn't telling the truth that's just him being it's like he can't just restrain from being a dick yeah it's kind of like he's got no filter anymore but not even that because in the elevator i don't even think anybody asks him who farted nobody says that he just leaves and he's like i did it i have to tell them which is not necessarily lying same thing with the the parking tickets he's like you know you were speeding he's like yes and also i've got all these unpaid uh tickets which isn't lying necessarily

that's just like a weird redemption thing. Yeah. That's like any wrong he's done he's got to admit to. And the whole lawyer story about falling through the skylight and getting stabbed or whatever and it's like is that fucked up? And he's like yeah I would have got him more money. Yeah. Why would you reveal that? So is it not necessarily that he can't lie? And with the pen

he actually writes royal blue all over his face. He just writes blue. No I think he writes royal blue. Oh, he does too. He's like, this pen is royal blue. That means he knows the colour of the pen as well. The specific colour. There's a lot of hmm with this.

So I just took it away because of the courtroom scene that everything he says has to be true. Yes. You just can't, you cannot tell a lie. Liar, liar, can't lie. Yeah, liar, liar, can't lie. That's the whole sort of thing. And so for questions that he can't,

there is obviously an answer to. I think he would have to give the answer to, even though he himself might know it. I think just because of the way the magic works, he is now all knowledge. So any question he could be able to answer. But it's clearly not always up there. No, it's not. That's the thing. It's like it just

comes into his brain and he's like, oh my god. So basically the magic is somewhat possessing Liar Liar, making him say something. He's hearing his own mouth basically say these words without realising it. And like in the courtroom, is this true?

I just said it. it must be true. So even he himself is hearing this fact for the first time. Now, why doesn't Jim Carrey abuse that power? Imagine if he went to like the races, right? Like a horse race or a dog race. Who's going to win? So you're telling me now that he can't lie about the future as well? Well, I mean, why not?

Well, mmm. I mean, unless you're saying the future's already written, but then what's he going to say? If somebody says, what do I eat for why not? Well, I mean, unless we're saying the future is already written, but then what's he going to say? If somebody says, what do I eat for breakfast tomorrow? How is he going to answer that question? And he's compulsed. To answer everything. Compelled to answer all questions.

Yes, he's compulsed to answer his question. Yeah, he's compulsed. If you were like, liar, liar, what dog is going to win the race? He would be compulsed to tell you, would he just go in the statistically most is going to win the race? He would be compulsed to tell you, would he just go in the statistically most likely dog to win the race? Or would he just know? Well, I think he would just know because the magic isn't looking at the stats. The magic is looking at fact.

There is no uncertainty here. It is simply this is the fact. What the fuck? So basically a good end goal for Liar Lii here is he could go through history books. He could go through any medical knowledge, any medical textbooks, and start correcting things. Because even though we have a basic idea, yes, holding this is going to cause this, cause and effect, et cetera, et cetera, a lot of that stuff is still up in the air.

So he could pretty much be like, no, no, no, this is a thing for certain. Well, yeah, so you just get him to read medical journals out loud and the moment he gets to something that's wrong you're like okay like so like oh but then leeches are the perfect cure for anything but would that work because leeches are just bugs but would that work because he's just he's just reading something? No, because it's still he can't lie. He's incapable of lying. So if what he's reading

is a lie then he won't if he's reading it out loud he can't say it. He couldn't say the pen was red when it was blue. Yeah, but he can't say that he's not reading

That's still his thought. It's still his thought he's like seeing especially me looking at my Mac laptop and looking at it knowing it's a Mac and saying

that's a PC. I can't because it's not. But if you read an Apple is a PC on a screen and I was just reading that out loud, so it would be someone having to read the journal and then ask him questions about the points raised in that medical journal. Or he, no, because if he reads it and then he says it.

That comes back to the urinary tract thing, urinary tract infection, where he's like, this happens, and if you're going on my theory that he read it somewhere and he just said it, and when he said it, he realised it's the truth because it has to be. Yeah. Or even read a page, shut the book, say the information. Yeah.

Effectively going to work the same way. Oh, but can you tell me the information in that book? Yeah. Even if that If he needs a question, but I think he's just I feel like, you know, read this book, or read aloud this book, he's simply now, he can't not read that or he can't, you know what I mean so he has to read it as it was verbatim

or like if you're like are you saying that if they're like hey, liar liar that's what I'm saying, how does it work if they're like liar liar, read this book he doesn't have to read the book but I'm saying I like when you ask him to recall the book he might say, oh can can you recall the book?

You'll be like, no. God damn it. I think what old Liar Liar should do is become a cop or a detective. Imagine taking it, you know, to a crime scene. Like, who killed this guy? He'd just be like, oh, this guy. It was me! Liar Liar, no!

In prison. Took a horrible twist. Yeah, like, he could just be like, liar, no! In prison. Took a horrible twist. Yeah, like he could just be like, oh, it was old fucking Ted Bundy. All right. Thanks for that one, brain. Okie doke. Sure, I'll roll with it, brain.

If you think that's the best one for this sentence, sure. But how could we be as a detective? He'd be a very good detective. He'd solve every case. You just need him. You just need him as a judge and like everything. I've got a great idea for a spinoff. Yeah.

Liar Liar and Robocop. I like that you just added Robocop, I guess because you like him. No, because Robocop is a robot cop who also wouldn't really lie because he's a robot. I guess he's incapable of lying. Somewhat. But he doesn't have omniscience like a liar does. No, but he can jack into computers

because he downloads the entire police record. So what you're saying is that Liar Liar needs to get crucified by shotgun and then made into a Robocop because then Liar Liar can then plug into a computer download the information

and then start kind of analysing it which is wrong at the very least he should sit down with Robocop be like alright

Robocop go through him that would take too much time so if he can he's got all the time in the world I think

Dusha's onto something here but not the way I think he wants yeah I just wanted a partnership but now that you've said it out loud no yeah liar liar should become robocop yeah and then or at least become a computer yeah or some kind of thing where he can just jack into a mainframe and and go through all of the criminals and say if they're guilty or not that's also true and he'd be really good in prison did this guy do it no he's he'd be good as a judge because you just come in and you're like okay

and he's like no he's innocent they'll be like oh all right then close the book this guy's god jim carrey becomes god twice odd odd also liar liar and yes man are pretty much the same movie yeah rather than not being able to lie, he just can't say no. But in Liar Liar, it's magic. In Yes Man, it's just Jim Carrey. It's just motivational magic. Yeah. It's the power of self-belief, Dusha.

If I keep saying yes, Zooey Deschanel will have sex with me. Yeah. Which I guess brings us, not the banging Zooey Deschanel, but the fact that it's magic brings us to the other ramification of Liar Liar birthday wishes work yep if you have a wish on your birthday you got one wish is it a birthday wish is it a wish of a young child is the wish of your child is it um any wish over a candle there is a lot of uh variables here I like at the very end of that movie, though, that they're just fucking terrified of that kid.

At the end, he's like, I wish, and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, my God, you have so much power. Is it just that family? It's that kid, though. Is it just that kid that has just unlimited power and can make a wish, but is it only on his birthday? I feel like if it was, I'm sure he's wished for other things. I feel like it's just on your birthday.

But we don't know that he has wished for things. Every kid has wished for stuff. But we don't know if he has wished and it has come true. Like, I wish I had a Nintendo 64 and then he's got one. I feel like Jim Carrey, the moment he started lying, was like, oh, it's because my kid has wish powers.

That's why. I'll go sort that out. Also, how does he cure the, like... He becomes a good father. Does he wait a year and then go back to his son and is like, unwish it? Nah, because he learns to be a better father. So he gets a lesson. He gets a lesson. So birthday wishes only work if you're teaching someone a lesson.

No, they only stop if you teach. Yeah, like that's the only way it stops. Which doesn't work if you're like, I wish the planet was ruled by apes. You're like, nobody's learning a lesson here. Just apedom for the rest of the world. I don't know. Do we want to do a little quick fact check? Find out how Liar Liar ends?

Probably not a bad idea. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it... I think he becomes a good dad. I remember him on a fucking airplane airport mobile staircase you'll forget yeah that's when Arrested Development starts yeah at the end of Liar Liar Liar Liar prequel

to AD we've just made a startling revelation whilst having a quick fact check because honestly none of us could remember how the lies start again what happens is the son's birthday wishes wish only lasted 24 hours yeah the reason we found this is because we just looked at the synopsis a fast track lawyer can't lie for 24 hours due to his son's birthday

wish after the lawyer turns his son down for the last time right there in the synopsis that's a scary synopsis is for the last time so 24 hours is the length so it's 24 hours oh no so apes rule for 24 no no i think what happens is the wish is i wish my dad would just tell the truth for a day or something like that it's like it's the wording of his because yeah i'm remembering the yeah i think you wish differently i don't think he's like i wish my dad would just shut the fuck up and stop lying, that piece of shit. Yeah, I think he's like, I think he'd tell the truth for a day.

So there's a 24-hour limit on it, but how does Jim Carrey figure out that it's his kid? Does he just know? Has this happened before? Is he like, it's enough? He tries to convince his kid that sometimes parents need to lie. Adults need to lie sometimes.

And of course, the kid logic is like, why do I have these kids? Because let's be honest, hey hey lies are a part of life they are you gotta lie i've never told a lie you're like um you're like lie a liar in those 24 hours i'm like everyone except ricky gervais in the invention of lying yes um so that do you reckon jim carrey capitalizes on that he knows now that his kid can grant wishes i like to imagine that at some point he already knew like the kid at four years old was like i wish my dad had octopus legs the best wish like that i wish i had octopus legs but the best part about that is that if jim he's like i wish my dad had octopus legs jim carrey's got a year

of octopus legs before his son's unless it's a 24-hour thing and i think he does he's like, I wish my dad had octopus legs. Do you ever care he's got a year of octopus legs before his son's? Unless it's a 24-hour thing. No, I think he does. He's like, a day. He specifies. Also, based on the fact- So if we can take into the birthday wish. So it's either the exact wording, which is, we always know in With Curses, it's always

tricky with a wording. I wish I had a big dick. Now you're gay. Thanks, Bedazzled, you piece of shit movie. That makes no sense. Oh, yeah. Remembered that. That's ridiculous.

I wish I was like an emotionally sensitive. Oh, fuck. I hate that movie. Anyway. It's just a 90s movie. It could be the wording of the wish. It could be that no matter what the wish is, there is an inbuilt time frame. So a 24 hour time time frame no matter what.

Or it could just be this kid is just all magical. I'm going to throw in a fourth thing. And this one I feel like makes the most sense based on what we actually see in the film. I reckon the octopus legs thing happened. And because Fletcher goes to his son and was like, take it back. Do you mean Liar Liar?

Because Liar Liar goes back to his son and is like, take it back, take it back Liar Liar? Because Liar Liar goes back to his son and is like, take it back, take it back, take it back. I think that the kid can probably withdraw his wish. So when he's like, oh God, octopus legs, I can't stop screaming, take the wish back. The four-year-old kid is like, what am I doing? I wish daddy had normal legs. He's like, oh my God, son, don't you ever do that again.

Son, can you just imagine Liar Liar bending down on one knee on his four-year-old son? He's like, son, you have great power. And with great power comes great responsibility. All right, so you raise a child. Okay, I do. On its second or third birthday, it's kind of like... Like my real son.

It's just like, yeah, I wish my dad had octopus legs. He's got octopus legs. He's like, holy shit. Gone through this whole freakout of a 24-hour period. He's like, kid, wish me normal legs. I can't live this freak show of a life. Oh, God. Wishes his normal leg back.

Then he's holding his kid. You have great power. With great power comes great responsibility, as Batman has taught us. So why is he then a piece of shit father? Because he's terrified of his child. Because he's gone from, okay, great power comes great responsibility, don't wish octopus legs on me ever again, so then I'm just going to ignore you and be a fancy lawyer man

and for the next four years just, or does he block it out? He's like, that didn't happen. I feel like that is the kind of thing that would traumatise you. So he gets traumatised, he block it out? He's like, that didn't happen. I feel like that is the kind of thing that would traumatise you. So he gets traumatised. He blocks it out. He's like, no, no, I don't want to deal with that. He knows he's afraid of his son, doesn't really want to spend time with his son. He doesn't know why.

So he just puts all his time and energy into his work, which of course makes, you know, neglect the family, but the wife leaves him. We get, you know. He bangs onto his clients, I'm pretty sure. The claw. The claw. The claw. He he does the claw it wasn't octopus legs he wished for a crab claw when he was two and in in lila's brain he knows something but it's blocked out so he's like so it's like the claw that's something we share that was something that we we bond over and the kid

loves it because he remembers that awesome time his dad had this giant crab claw that made his dad flip the fuck out. Ah! Cluck. Trying to break it off. Ah! And you know it's just that kid, because I was thinking about it, and actually, if it was all kids or all birthdays,

then the world Liar Liar lived in would be the most ridiculous thing in the world. You'd have ape men and dogs with jetpacks and skateboards with faces. So it has to be that kid. It's just that one kid. And I think, yeah, the claw is some sort of... So I'm guessing, yeah, so something traumatic happened when he was very young,

as in the kid was very young, Max was very young. Liar Liar has blocked that out of his head or at least twisted it around so it's now a fun little game he plays with Max. But still knows that he doesn't want to associate with his whole family because he's terrified. You know like the new boyfriend of... Kerry Ewells?

Yeah, of Liar Liar's ex-wife. When he tries to do the claw, the kid's like, no, no, no, no. That's kind of just a me and dad thing because of trauma because i wished him a crab claw once yeah and then because like you could go back to like maybe the child you know the child drawings and maybe he's drawn his dad with a giant claw like see the claw and they've all just like just yeah yeah it was a funny drawing it didn't happen in real life but that means that by liar liar liar liar has remembered

it all it's all flooded back yeah and in the end he's like i'm gonna look after this family is that because he's like i just don't want my kid causing any more damage with his magic power it's like that you know um i think it's like an episode of the twilight zone but i know it from the simpsons where homer the homer where where bart can read all the thoughts yeah yeah yeah it's basically that yeah but with a kid of being like he can't read my thoughts unless he wishes he could read my thoughts. So I've got to be, hmm. And Jim Carrey is a good dad, but he's also like a money-loving, greedy lawyer in that movie. He's not a good dad.

Yeah. That's kind of the whole thing. He doesn't even become a good dad. He becomes there. Yeah, he becomes present. Terrified and present. Which, hey, is pretty good. That's all right.

So I put to you that he sees the potential in his kid now. That he's like, make it as a fucking wish power. Let's try and stop the claw again. He's at a young, malleable age. Jim Carrey's going to get all the dollars. Like, what a perfect... He's the kind of guy that would exploit his own child, is I guess what I'm getting at. Yeah. That i can get into for riches for riches and power and power yeah

the three itches the two itches and an hour i i think you are correct i think he's going to spend a lot of time trying to i don't use the word use the word groom his child, but I'm gonna. Yeah. Because it's the one that fits. He's going to pretty much groom his child to sort of be, you know, like him. Yeah, yeah. You know, value money, value that kind of stuff and value that lifestyle.

Actually, would he risk it? I don't know if I'd risk it. I would. Hi, I'm Joe Dush, a child exploiter. We know. We've been around the block a couple of times. We get it. Sick.

Yeah. Okay. So the logical conclusion we're taking from this is wishes are real. Jim Carrey is not back with his family because he loves them just because dollars. Just because either dollars or he needs to stop his kid causing more damage. Wishes are real. There was some sort of claw-based trauma in Lyleye's past. Ah, crab claw and and now he's

with his family out of both fear and potential exploitation yeah like the timeline is like kid is four kid wishes jim carrey had a claw jim carrey gets a has a trauma wishes it away jim carrey blocks it out of his head until he becomes a shit dad just because he's afraid of his child on some weird psychological level he doesn't understand his kid liar liars him Jim Carrey has ultimate power for 24 hours ultimate knowledge he's like my kid, my kid is something else

oh because we don't see this but he could look in the mirror why can't I tell the truth oh because your kid is magical oh yes oh boy I had a claw because your kid is magical. Yeah, because my kid's magic. Oh, yes. That's right. Oh, boy, I had a claw. Why did I keep the claw and rule the world?

Actually, fuck, I completely forgot about that scene where he's yelling in the mirror, why can't I lie? Yeah. Does that happen? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, because I thought that's what you were basing it like, ha-ha, then it cuts away.

No, he's looking in the mirror, he's like, I don't know, he says, I can't lie. He doesn't say, why can't I lie? Because if he because if he said why can't i lie then yes you would get an answer but maybe that you know it cuts away after he says i can't lie but he could be like i can't lie why can't i lie your kid is a magic like your kid is like a wizard like an actual wizard and you had a crab claw and you had a crab claw once and now you're fucking cursed liar liar you remember this crab claw here go to a painful memory flashback yeah then like he wakes up he's on the bathroom floor just shivering yeah and then

he's like i have to stop my kid and maybe exploit him for the dollar bills but he's a potential sequel to liar liar kids about like 17 jim carrey's a rich billionaire with a fucking rip dabs and seven wives and a fountain of gold yeah and then his kid's like actually this ain't on and then he starts wishing bad things like you don't want to risk that kid realizing you've been grooming him for power and being like i wish my dad had a heart attack, I wish my dad... Had a heart attack. Yeah. I wish my dad had no organs. I wish he had a brain aneurysm. Exactly.

Dead. Take it back, not... Oh, my goodness. Is Lyle just like... Then you'd wait a year and be like, I wish my dad was back. Then you'd have a zombie dad. Yeah.

Or just Jim Carrey back being like, I'm sorry, son. That's true. Don't take my organs away again. Yeah, I think Jim Carey back being like, I'm sorry, son. I'm sorry. Don't take my organs away again. I think maybe he wouldn't exploit it. I think maybe because he's not a dumb man. He's not unintelligent. He's a lawyer, you know, he's good at his job. So I think maybe

he might... He banged one of his clients. He's not great at his job. Yeah. He's not morally great at his job. He's not morally great, but he's pretty good. Yeah. So I think maybe he'd maybe not exploit, but I think maybe he has to do a lot of sacrificing because he probably knows... He's kind of protecting the world. He's basically, yeah, going to be an

unsung hero in the annals of history. Protecting the world from his fucking mental son. Because, you don't know, what happens in a traumatic event, another one, another sort of crab claw esque thing, but maybe just general trauma happens to that kid and he wishes something terrible.

I know. What if one day that kid on a goof is like, Hey, I wish the world was run by apes. Jim Carrey can't let that shit happen. Liar, liar can't let that shit happen. He's got to prevent him. He's got to spend every day of the rest of his life, every birthday. Every birthday Every birthday

Being real careful Distracting his boy Maybe just Honestly Cakes would stop I think Ban cakes Ban the whole wish tradition

I was gonna say Maybe Lila just blow out the candle Before Happy birthday to you I reckon there'd be a couple A couple years of that Just to see you see where the wish was because is it from the candle?

Is it the cake? Or is it just a natural thing? If it's a natural thing, that's scary. And he might have to kill his son, guys. Liar, liar, three. Liar, liar, kills his son. That's... Liar, liar.

That's bad dad. Liar, liar, three, bad Liar Liar 3 Bad Dad. This took a dark turn. I preferred him just being the ever-watchful, vigilant protector of Earth, not... Child killer. Not his own child killer. What's that called?

Not infant side, it's projicide. It sounds about right. It sounds like a terrible thing. Kid kill him. It is a terrible thing. But you've got to think that there's a point where Max is a man Because what happens He can make his own decisions

When Max is a man, we're talking 30-40 years down the line Say Lyleye ends up dying From that Undiagnosed brain aneurysm Or cancer Because he would simply wish him back to life He's Lyleye 4 But Lyleye can't die Until Max dies cancer. Wait, no, because he would simply wish him back to life. Yeah. No. He's Liar Liar 4, but Liar Liar

can't die until Max dies, because I'm pretty sure the death of a family member, the one thing he's going to wish is I'm going to wish my family is back, my dad is alive. Liar Liar won't know the sweet embrace of death is what I'm getting at here. No, he will, it just won't be permanent.

He'll know the sweet embrace of death every year. Because if he will, it just won't be permanent. He'll know the sweet embrace of death every year. Because if he dies, and he sounds like I wish he was alive again, his natural state is dead. Come the end of the year, dead from a brain aneurysm. I posit to you- Or is that a good way to keep your child

in check, is to kill yourself or just orchestrate your death almost every year, so that every year he's wasting his wish to keep you alive. Not necessarily. He could catch on and be like, no, dad's died four times now. It's time for him to go. Oh, no.

It's a dangerous game. It's a dangerous game. But it's the only thing you can do. Poor liar, liar. Poor liar, liar. That's the new poem. Poor liar, liar. Poor liar poor liar liar that's the new poem poor liar liar poor liar liar it's like liar liar 1

liar liar 2 no organ boogaloo liar liar 3 bad dad and then sad liar liar on that note I've been Joel I've been Jackson

I've also been Joel It was me! Basically, we'll be looking at certain films and reimagining them the way we think they should have been made. To kick things off, we asked a few of our friends to come up with their ideal Star Wars prequel, so you'll be getting a brand new episode every day until we've sufficiently flogged that dead Tauntaun. But right now, here's a little taste of things to come. There are six words that would kill any story, and those six words are, I don't care about these people. Yeah.

And that's kind of the key problem with the Star Wars prequels. I've watched a lot of those edits and stuff. It's actually quite hard to make them worse. I like John Williams' score with the Darth Maul fight. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, keep that. That's cool. For the entire film. For the. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, keep that. That's cool. For the entire film. For the entire film, start to finish.

I feel like the audience they're going for, it collides with people aged like 12 and a half. Force only has like a 180 degree awareness. Behind you, you're fucked. It's got blind spots like a truck. Just another Wheel of Time bullshit thing. I guess the obvious thing with What Would You Change? is just like, hey man, story by George Lucas

or based on the characters by George Lucas, directed by fucking anyone but George Lucas. Right. It's like, I'm just going to look after Luke for a bit. If Luke's doing all right, well, Luke's pretty good. Now I'm just going to kill myself and inspire Luke and I can just show off as a ghost. I think it's more that Obi-Wan's very old at this point.

I never told Luke I have space cancer. I'm absolutely riddled with it. Darth, you'd be helping an old man. Sorry, just because this is an audio podcast, my face looks somewhere between someone that was going to vomit and someone who would be punched in the dick. Maybe he lands, and then it cuts to black, and everyone goes, ooh.

This is like fucking Mama Bear fighting for her cubs. We're talking like a Jedi giving into a rage for a good reason. And Christensen, is he an actor? Specifically how I'd change her without making her just like a strong female character archetype, I haven't given that much thought to, but... That's the problem with Hollywood. The Jedi kill Luke and Leia's fucking mother. Yeah! While she's pregnant. problem yeah Hollywood yeah that Jedi kill Luke and Leia's mother yeah while

she's pregnant I thought of the more of instead of like medieval nights more of cops space cops more like space cops that's quite soothing he's a rough trick on this no he's not a prostitute

your episode one is dark. Let's just heavily imply it. No explaining the force. It just works. It just does. That's what you need. Don't worry about it. It's like religion now.

If you try to explain it scientifically, you just don't. You don't want it. You want to know it exists, it's there, it's a thing. Some people have it, some people don't. That's it. Your episode one opens pretty similar to Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah.

Where everyone's just doing a line of coke out of a hooker's butthole or something. Yeah. And it starts like an echo of the New Hope opening, but instead of a giant ship chasing a little ship, it's a giant ship being chased by a little ship. This is heart-wrenching. This is like watching the original trilogy except Luke and Leia turn on each other at the end

and start fucking killing each other. This needs to tear your fucking heart out. Padme goes to turn Anakin in for the bounty. Betrayal! Yeah, nice. That image of this fat-bearded, possibly drunken Jedi has stuck with me. Man, drunken Jedi would be awesome.

My first thing that would make them better is if the person writing the film went and watched the other films. What if pod racing, instead of being like this big Grand Prix-esque thing, what if it's a bit dodgy? What if it's like illegal drag racing? It's cool,

but then you've got a whole new problem of how to get rid of all these Sith. And half the joy of storytelling is, like, just having these exciting, dynamic people throwing them against each other in a playground, seeing what happens, and there's no greater playground than the Star Wars universe, really, I reckon. Maybe.

I went from being so positive to then unsure of even myself in almost three words. There's no peace in... Turn to look at the camera. The Star Wars credits. So I think that's the Phantom Menace fixed. I think we've made an extra couple billion

dollars. So yeah, that's pretty much the perfect Star Wars prequel. We did it. It's good enough. Good enough. Movie Maintenance. Movie maintenance starting May 4th, because some films just need fixing.