Plumbing the Death Star - What Aspect of Your Life Would Be The Best To Sever? With Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall

Episode Date: November 30, 2025

This week we're joined by the beautiful, handsome, dashing Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall as we delve into which aspects of our life we want to do a big severance to! Wiping asses, onlyfans rockstar personas, there is truly no limit to the amount of our life we could outsource for no reason whatsoever!Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, everybody, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the... I'm Jackson. God, I went into that with such... His douche is not here. He's away, mysteriously away. So I'm doing the intro, but I lost confidence. I don't know if you saw that happen.

I did. I did say that happened. I'm Jackson. I'm going to just jump in here. You're Joel. We're joined by the beautiful Alistair Trembly Boone. Thank you very much. I'm in a room full of beautiful, man. It's a beautiful... It's an episode full of...

beautiful man. It's the beauty episode. It's the beauty episode. It's the babest. It's the babest episode and in celebration of us being three beautiful babes, we're going to ask the important question. Like? Like, uh...

Shut up! I was going to be like, I'm not going to take over, I won't take over, I'll just, I'll throw to Jack. Should have took it. You should have taken over, dude. You should have taken over, and now I've lost it. Hey. What aspect of your life would be the best to sever? Lost Severance.

This episode is a listener suggestion. If you subscribe to the Bad Brain Boys, you gain access to our Discord, as well as a bunch of bonus content, and you support us, which is the main thing. And by gaining access to that Discord, you also have the opportunity to suggest a question. And if it's good enough, we'll pick it.

This one comes to us from Merckmaster. Now, Severance, a wonderful Apple TV show. What a beautiful company that makes such a beautiful thing. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, you're talking about the company from Severance. I mean, no, I mean. Because that's also a beautiful company.

Absolutely. It has a nice aesthetic. Exactly. It has athetic. So in the world of severance, you have the ability to sever yourself. What that means is that in severance, they have, there would be say, work Jackson, and never the twain shall meet. Yeah, so it's, you go through some doors.

Well, first off, you have an operation, so you basically have like an in or you and an out of you. And so you have the operation to you to split your brain. And then when you go through these doors, the consciousness switches between whoever was outside to whoever is trapped you're like inside. So if you hate work, and you're like, it's, I'm an office worker, it's a drudge. It's a drudge. It's a bloody drudge. I do not care.

Seven me up. And then you used to give, hopefully, in theory, created a perfect version of you that is just so good at work. Exactly. And their life is just. They'll work. Yeah. And they'll just cop it.

Yeah. So you go in. What a fucking they do? Yeah. It's like you go in. It's like you're having a nap. And then you magically like, you know, for an instant for you, you wake up. Your job's done.

Because there's a fat paycheck in your account. Exactly. And you're like, cool. Great. Don't have to worry about that. Don't have to worry about. Working Jackson, time to get partying. And yeah, don't worry about any ethical, like,

and philosophical complications with that and what the questions arise of, like, who is a true version of you. That's not for us. That's not for us. I don't want to do that. No, no, no, no, no. I want to severance me going to the grocery store

and buying my stuff because, God, I can't be bothered. Yeah, you do hate going to the grocery store. Me personally, I love going to the grocery store. Yeah, I like it as well. That's Little Treat City. I'm going there, I go, What are we going to pack out of chips? What have I got a football drink?

Come on. It's like a little food holiday. Yeah, exactly. And you go, maybe I'll have this for dinner in a couple of days. That's exciting. That's a future lasagna right there. Can I extend it out as well? Of course.

Of course. Like, planning meals. So you eat what cooking do cooks? No, I'll cook the meals or whatever. But I want to go like a little room. Yeah. That little, like, any me go, I have to get it goes. There's like a bunch of cookbooks maybe.

access to only cooking internet and then this is the things that like, you know, I'll give outy me to make and they make a list. So when you go you have to give them your grocery store phone. You have to have like a grocery store phone.

No, no, I don't trust them because I don't want to add like outside contact. Maybe he'll have a phone with the only access is like a shared app. Yeah, it has the list. I like how, so what grocery, because this, you got a real risk. Because you're setting your iny or Audi? What are you?

I'm going to Eddie. He's in. Okay. You're setting your iny out into the real world. So like, if he's ever like, well, no, no. So it's a special grocery store. It's a special room for me. Okay. Okay. In my house where he plans everything. And then he opens door. I come out and I go, oh, look, he's planned a wonderful array of meals. But is he also doing the grocery shopping? I go to the grocery store. I walk in. Oh, I'm out. I'm out again. Okay. I then, oh, I come back in. I have a, I have a, I grow. I a trolley full of incredible food to cook. So fucked up that your Audi never gets to eat the food.

Yeah, I cannot imagine this relationship lasting long. Especially when so many times you go to the supermarket when you're really hungry. You're like, oh, should I haven't planned anything like that? And he go there. So a lot of his experience is that thing where you're like, I'm going to get to eat soon. Okay, so, well, for that, maybe I'll ensure that there's like a lot of, like a bunch of protein bars. Yeah. Like a little mini fridge in that room.

Okay. Like a bunch of protein bars. And maybe like when I go to the grocery store, I put in my pocket a little protein bar. Granted, he could also just buy a protein bar and eat as much as he wants in the store. And I was going to say... Also, you're in a weird situation where he goes to the grocery store, eats a bunch of protein bars, steps out of the grocery store, and you're like,

I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. I'm just not full right now. Yeah. Or you put your stuff in the fridge and it just rots. Yeah. Or he's like, at some point he kind of... he kind of starts to rebel and he's like,

I can just eat the grapes here. And he's like, I can just start eating food. And then when you wake up, you're in cuffs. Like that, you're being let out by the... The whole security just like smacking me with a truncheon. It was me. It was grocery salmon. It was grocery salmon.

Well, it's every time like I get a, you know, I come out of that room. I look into the app of shared groceries. Like, let me out. I'm like, well, you didn't do it, did you? Let's go. You're going back in. And also like, what, what...

What's the impetus for him to follow the list? He goes in there and then he comes out and you're like, I've got no groceries. He didn't do his job. I'll just go back in. I'll go back in. I've got all the time in the world. Oh, yeah. Maybe you have to put little treats in his pocket or something like that. Or maybe you have to like incentive. Because I guess if he has access to food, you have to give him access to something that he doesn't get in that world.

That's true. That's true. And you know what? Yeah, putting him into the real world is a risk. It's absolutely a risk. Okay. Okay. No grocery. A room? Okay. He's just the meal.

He's a meal planner, and it's just like an app there, which is Coles Delivery. Oh, smart. Yeah. But I do think that there's a possibility that you could get big corporations that would be into being like, hey, we will pay for you to be severed to come into our store. Yes, a severed exclusive grocery store. Yeah. Well, now it's back on the table. And it's everybody else in there.

They're just grocery store versions of people. Yeah. They know that they can charge a bit more, a little bit more. A little bit more. And they know that they can convince your any. to buy a bit more stuff. Yeah, exactly. They have no concept of money,

and I'm not in control. Yeah, exactly. So it's always going to cost more for you, but you don't have to go grocery shopping. You're paying to not have to have a deal with the house. Oh, it's high end. So in Severance, right, the office inis, they don't know that there's an Audi straight away, right?

Oh, no, they do. They do, they do. Yeah, okay. Why don't they instantly rebel? They do, they do. Instantly, though? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's basically...

Because I saw the first episode where Hallie, any Halley. Yeah, but they've been doing it a while and no one's rebelling. Yeah, but any... Well, you're seeing the first day for Halley. So I'm presumably, everyone had went through the same thing. It's kind of they've got a protocol for this.

Because they do rebel, they run straight back out. But the moment they run back out, then it's like, well, hey, mate, we made the deal. I'm going back in. Yeah, yeah. And then they're like, well, I guess this is my life. I can't leave any mort. Exactly.

You know, I'm trapped in any mart forever. Maybe we have a little incentive. Yeah. Maybe it's like, look, hey, if you want to have like a, I don't know, like a grocery store romance. Oh, okay. By all means. Interesting. By the melons.

Maybe a little cafe in there. Oh, nice. Yeah. So that they can also partake in delicious food to eat. Oh, like maybe one of those little like, you know, like those Japanese kind of like sort of booth, booth hotel bed. Oh, yeah. You know, like that, where they can just have a tiny... Like, every day's a little date for them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that? Have a little cuddle. Yeah. And maybe you schedule with some others, people that you're like, I wouldn't date you, but my... Because, you know, I'm married, but I guess I'm happy to let my any... My grocery store me, they're free to do what they like.

I've seen some, like, yeah, you know, some secret notes that grocery store me has handed myself, and I think they really into grocery store you. Yes. That works out. Yeah. If you're chill with you... I'm chill with it. I don't care what any me does, dude.

Who gets your shit? And it would be cool to find out about all the gossip about what's happening in the supermarket. What's happening in the groceries store? You could maybe even get somebody at the grocery store to write up a little gossip rag about the romances. Find out what you're getting up to in the store?

All the drama? What are you doing it? Maybe a little extra package where you get some of the footage, you know, you get to see yourself having sex with... Having sex with all the melons and pumpkins? And you go, I thought, I thought I was having a, it's my guy not having a romance with everyone. They go, no, he's just, he's just fucking the pumpkins.

No, he's been microwaveing the pumpkins. Oh, I thought, oh, okay. My, my grocery means, fuck up. Wait, does he call the pumpkin a redhead? Is that why he can't. Oh, I thought, I thought he was talking about you, but I guess he's just been fucking the pumpkin. Did this develop, like, over, no, pretty much straight away. The moment he walked in, he said, where's the microwave?

This is a weird side effect, we've noticed, with a lot of grocery versions of people. They're really attracted to the pumpkin. They keep fucking the pumpkins. Well, and I'd be like, so take the pumpkins away. Well, whoa, whoa, whoa. Remove the pumpkins then, if everyone's going to fuck the pumpkins. We have tried that, but actually,

we've noticed there's a huge rebellion if we take away the pumpkins. This is the only thing that stops them rebelling. Well, I guess, you know, I guess that explains the amount of pumpkin seeds I found in my pub again. Man, getting, stepping out of the grocery store and being like, I feel like I came. I don't know what. At some point previously, that's weird.

That's weird because it's just a little grocery store. A little sweaty. You know, like inside those orange pumpkins, all that weird, like, gross kind of stringy stuff like that and finding that all around your crotch. What am I getting up to, you know? And that's so funny when you go, hey, I think there's a problem. I think my innies fucking pumpkins. They go, mm-hmm. And the problem is.

What? Yeah, what's the problem? It's like taking a kid to daycare. And they're like, so he's been coming out naked a lot. He removes his clothes pretty much straight away. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

Is that it? But also it's like, is that a fine price to pay for not having to do your groceries? I didn't make love to that pumpkin. Yeah, exactly. The guy who buys my groceries to it that possesses my body. What's the difference between that and hiring someone to do your groceries? Exactly. And while they're there, they fuck a pumpkin.

Exactly. What's the difference? There's no difference. The only difference is the difference. is, for me, it's instantaneous, so therefore better. Yeah, exactly. It's more ideal. Exactly.

Yeah. Do I ever get worried if the, if the Coles delivery guy, if he's, if he's sort of shagged the pumpkin on the way? Yeah, of course, no. That's not my issue. He's got nothing to do with you. He's getting, like, you know, road dome from a pumpkin. Yeah.

I don't care. Yeah. My groceries have been delivered. That would be crazy if the Coles delivery guy, right, then you got a pumpkin on his lap. And you go, I don't think I ordered a pumpkin because it's not yours. It's up for you. Well, he's just carrying it like this. He's like, sorry, I'm still...

I'm halfway through. Half of course. Right. Okay. Can you just get the bags out of the back? Yeah, yeah. Okay. You did that.

This is the price you pay. Yeah. I'll take five bucks off. Okay. Yeah, I'll take the discount. Hey, I saw nothing. Yeah. I didn't see shit, dude.

Five bucks off. That's good. In this economy. I'll take it, dude. If that's the price. I'll buy me a fresh pumpkin. Yeah. I'd be, I think I'd be worried.

that he might try and poison you because he's got access to your food. Yeah, but then he die. No, that's true. Yeah, that's like mutual assured destruction. I guess what, what does grocery Zammat want? Does he want to live full time in the grocery? Uh, what is that weird thing about with the whole?

Because, you know, now we're, now we're getting to that, you know, philosophical stuff that I was like, no, no, no, I didn't want to be part of it. Now I'm dragged into some cabin. And I got it like given little FaceTime messages back and forth to each other. I'm like, eh, what do you want? Yeah. And like, yeah, I guess, because, you know, the company in Severance, it's, you know, they are very, very authoritarian.

They really don't give their inies a lot of freedom. Yeah. So, again, it's kind of like, well, let's have it. What do you want? And maybe, maybe they're like, well, it would be nice to maybe, you know, I could eat the meal. Yeah, yeah, okay. And I'm like, all right, well, there's a lot of meals in a week. Let's come to a compromise.

Yeah, that's true. Maybe. And maybe we get a third guy. Okay. So, like, make me cook the food. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. We have a chef.

We have a chef jack. Yeah. Chef Jackson in my head. No, no, no, you need. Oh, no. He's cooking for you. Oh, no. Like, man, whenever, I never remember what I do when I go to Zameterre.

Somebody's like, just can't remember what happens. Oh, yeah. I guess if somebody has the, like, severance equipment already in their brain, and you can you just set up. like a black market like activation thing that separates it into a third and then he's like, did I just... What time is it?

You're like, wait. Oh, I must have more. Yeah, it's great catching up with you. See you tomorrow. See around, man. You big full belly. Spaghetti marrador around your mouth. Oh, do we eat...

I don't remember eating spaghetti, but I guess that's fair. Okay, okay. Oh, see you, man. Yeah, see you tomorrow. I like this virtue of me that's really willing to accept the last time. Okay.

All right. I don't remember the last two hours, but that's fine. Probably nothing happened. Yeah, I guess you could sort of almost do it by like when a person goes down to go to sleep. Yeah. You could, if you could knock him out there and then go, you know, mission, go to. Yeah, so he's a different guy.

Yeah. And then go and cook a meal. Yeah, exactly the time you don't know. Well, that was what I was going to pick, actually. I was going to have sleep Jackson and wake Jackson. Okay. So every time I guess I need a special room. Yeah.

You might call it a bedroom. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm catching up purely for the bed okay because hey in this modern fuck-ass life of ours

yes we're in the bed you're doing other stuff than just sleeping you're on your phone you're making love you're eating chicken sometimes

or the same time oh my god I would love to just try that once oh yeah me too scroll at a phone drumstick big drumstick

yeah oil on your face yeah Are you weird? The chicken, will you imagine? I was imagining, like, a coles roast chicken. That's what I was picturing. Oh, really?

In a bachelor's handbag, and I'm just reaching into the oil. The liquid that's just dripping all over the sheets as it comes over all over your beloved. I was imagining a cold, like, chicken jumps. Oh, that's good. But also from, had been from a cold. Yeah. Mine was more KFC. Oh, that's good, too.

That's really new. Heavy. Yeah, yeah. It's a heavy meal for, I just want to say this sentence. But, you know, I want you to know I don't philosophically agree with saying this generally. But, you know, to be eaten chicken while you're up to your nuts

and guts. That's really good. That should be a KFC slowdown. The KFC fucking bucket. Oh, yeah. And you don't fuck the bucket. No, you don't fuck the bucket. That's the end. I'm the colonel.

And I'm introducing KFC's new fucking bucket. You don't fuck the bucket. Don't fuck the bucket, though. You fuck, well, eat the things that contain the in the bucket. They really thought in marketing, they were like, you got to be clear. You just need it. Yeah, got to be clear. For hours, we can dot our eyes across that tease, you got to be clear.

They don't fuck the bucket. But that's also why they have to bring the kernel out, because he's the only authority that the KFC people still listen to. You bring the fucking bucket home and go, oh, and then it's on the TV and you go, oh. Oh, the colonel. Honey, get in here. I misunderstood the bucket. No, we're going to have to have sex. She's like, we're right.

Okay, exactly. You know, they're bent over over, say, the kitchen table. They're not worn on a delicious, like, chicken breast. Kitchen Island, even. Oh, beautiful place to make love. And you're chewing on a drumstick. Oh, what a time. Oh, yeah.

I'd be, you know this kitchen, family friendly. You know, this kitchen islands that they keep, I feel like maybe five years ago, they were like, you're getting ads for these all the time where it was like, the kitchen island is also an iPad or whatever. You remember those where it's like, it's a touch pad and you can access YouTube on a, or whatever.

I don't remember that. I remember when it was like that but for fridges. Yeah, no, I remember Kitchen Islands. They were like, the kitchen island of the future.

Like it's embedded in the island. The island is a touch pad. You have to stare down directly. Yeah. Because all the angles, it's full on just. Yeah, because the ads were like,

Uh, Kitchen Island. How do I make fucking chicken or whatever? And then it would be like, he has a Rosary for chicken. And it would come up on like the, but it's like, it's not angled.

No, it's like, and you got bowls and stuff all over. Yeah. And there was. the stove right next to it, like, one of those, like, kind of, you know, induction sort of, you know, that was, anyway, I just think that that would be a bad one to be fucked. Yeah.

Because your face is pressed up against the iPad. You're pressing all these things. You're accidentally sending emails to your bars. Yeah, exactly. Opening loud YouTube videos, joking back. Dropping the crumbs from a KFC, like, drumsticks. Yeah, so I was thinking I have, we're not a bedroom. Yep.

And it's just for sleeping. Okay. Maybe I have a sort of a room within a, like, room in my bedroom where my bed is. So I can still do stuff in my bedroom, but when I step through that door, I become sleeping Jackson, and that's just for sleeping. And then I step out of that room.

And it's like, no time, for me, for Audi Jackson, no time has passed at all. It's the next morning. And I could decide, I mean, I guess it's up to any Jackson how long I sleep for to get up. Yeah. But, uh... Yeah, so I'm imagining what you could do here is you could really like, uh,

trick out this bed room of yours. And so you, like, you, like, You know, the blackout curtains, like, in the sleep lights. The lights that really... I don't know what color is good. Like, the ultra... It's not always being. Whatever it is.

Yeah, yeah. I am just picturing this guy's life, which is essentially like a solitary confinement cell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a beautiful, luscious bed. But he lives in the world of dreams. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he doesn't get to have all the dreams. He has the dreams.

I don't have the dreams. Yeah. But I guess I remember the dreams. Only the ones that he woke up and really tried to remember The moment he steps up Oh yeah, that's right You don't remember any of those dreams

You were no longer dreaming Unless you sleep You start sleeping in your car or something Or you sleep in the couch Just to get some dreams I miss dreams Yeah I'm gonna sleep wherever I can

I'm the most overslept man in the world Oh yeah And then you start sending things in with him So that you're like What does it like to dream? Tell me, tell me Interjection Hey does Inection dream

of any sheep, I need to know. Or that you just, like, you start to become so jealous of him that you, like, give him a dream diary or, like, thing like that, and you're like, you have to write down your dreams. Tell me what you're dreaming about. Tell me what it is. And then you're like, I don't know, you some have to threaten him. Like, maybe the

alarm in the morning, like, when you need to be somewhere, it's just a room alarm. So the room itself, like, I need him to get up when I want to get up. So the alarm has to be unavoidable. Yeah, maybe the bed starts... I was going to say, it's unavoidable and you can't turn it off from bed.

Yeah, exactly. You need to step through the door. Well, I'm just staying in bed for a bit. So for me, every morning, 7 a.m., I step out to pop, pop, pop, pop, press the button. I'm fresh as a daisy. But if I become jealous of him, I do like the idea of me, like, sabotaging him by, like, taking adrenaline or something.

Sticking an epipan in my thigh and stepping into the room. Cop that, dude. No dreams for you. I'm going to be so tired tomorrow. Worth it. Worth it to get back at Indie Jackson. So the problem here is he might be getting, I guess, back at Audi Jackson because he might just become accustomed to the wake-up.

Yeah, that's true. He might just like, I don't know, like, you know, close, like, try and like, what up the ear can now there? I can't hear the alarm. Yeah, I can't hear the alarm. Yeah, I might start stepping out later and later and later and being later and later and later for things because of goddamn any jacks. What you might need to do is like maybe like air tighten the room

so that only air comes in through the door. Oh, good idea, yes, yes. And so then at some point, if you need, like, you go, like, you know, you know, if he's not getting up, cut off the air. Yeah, suffocate your honor. That's, you know, I mean, you have to, he has to be awake, though. So once the alarm is on, then he feels the air cut off, and he starts to go, he's got to get out. Yeah, he's got to get out or he'll die.

I think that's a great idea. I step out always, like, in the middle of a panic attack. time. But they're probably a wake you off to work. Yeah. You know, and like, it's not my panic attack, so I'm okay. I get calmed. I step out, oh, that's right. I'm suffocating my uni. That's punishment. Of course.

Well, I mean, as soon as you wake up, you get the first most satisfying breath of long-lost air. What a great way to start the day. Without the panic, without the panic of suffocating, you get that. I don't need a coffee anymore. I've never felt moral.

Yeah, it would be such a great way to start the day. And yeah, I am torturing my ear, effectively, sure. Why would he want to sleep? It's great because, yeah, you got, like, light therapy initially to be like, go to sleep. We also got, like, blaring lights and a lot of, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. And then a big glove hanging comes out and slats his face. Cut off the air. You're going to die, you're going to die, you're going to die.

Oh, my God, oh, my God. Right, right down the dream. Right, right down the dreams! I'm not letting you out, did you write down the dreams? I'll turn on the air when you write down the dreams. And I'm now picturing, like... Just this, like, audio play. It's not me.

Yeah, well, no, I'm picturing Jackson in a recording booth, recording all these. Like, I go, no, no, wait, wait, wait, record the dream, wait, record the dreams, put the air back on. He's gonna die in there! I need those dreams! I need those dreams! I need them. forget what it's like. That's great because it really feels like I went to the recording booth

and just one long take. Yeah, is that good? Is that that enough? It's like, perfect. Jackson, baby. We're going to make millions you and I. You're a natural. Yeah.

Cutting it up with a little sections to be like, okay, yeah, if this happens, a lot of automations, if this happens, play this one. Yeah, this happens play this one. Or give it like a little pad With like certain things to press If you're suffocating Press this button You press this button

Yeah Right take the truth Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! I love that take Jackson Oh my God oh my God No notes! No notes! The urgency in your voice! Oh I wish you could do every innie's

out of his recording Is your innings slowly suffocating pressing the button thinking it'll help Yeah It's getting a vid screen of you right down the dream. Right down the dream.

Yeah, the real risk is that I just die. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If my innie is not clever enough to figure out. Or, or, you just maybe, like, it's just the threat of suffocation. Yeah, well, or. So you don't actually, he just, you don't have to do it. It's just he, any you think you might. Yeah, that's true.

Well, and I was also thinking, like, I mean, suffocation's good, but if I need him to wake up, I like, what if I just have the bed, give him a mild electric shock? Yeah. Yeah, like an electric blanket that seems nice and warm in the colder months, but it also has the function where I can just give him a little zap. A little zap, because that's going to wake him up. And also, a little zap would also wake me and feel like a coffee. When I step outside and I go, oh, I've been a little electrician this morning, a little zappy.

I don't know why, but I'm energized. I'm energized, I feel great. My heart feels a little bit burnt. Yeah, I feel like I'm taking maybe not years off my life, but certainly weeks. I was like, you could also like an ice bucket. Oh, yeah, that's good. Like this ice where he's dumped on him To wake up

Because that's very refreshing It's very refreshing And also it's a disincentive for him Because once he knows that And that the bed doesn't really dry In this almost airless room He's like I have to wake off the time Because I've got to avoid this

Look maybe it seems cruel to my uni But he can live in the realm of dreams He can come a dream warrior He can become a dream warrior Exactly a dream nomad teach himself to lucid dream that's why I have lots of books in there about lucid dreaming don't stay up too late reading those books

I'd read the volume but I can't that's not how it works that's what happens when he presses the books button oh you can do an audiobook reading of it you presses a button and you panic reading all of these things okay here's how lucid dreaming works okay you get to pick a thick a fucking thing

that you have to in your dream when you see you know it's a dream okay yeah Jackson I'm in talks with Penguin you should do every book I still become less and less focused

on my sleeping in you because I've got a lucrative career in voice acting like one of the panic reading

certain books he's one of the best panic readers in the business it was the best of times it was one of the time in the tale

and it's a truth universally acknowledged okay did a woman in one of a man something about in the beginning

there was nothing and then the god said let there be light really if you know the urge You know, that's how old books should be read.

That's my belief. People waiting on, like, their daily commute on the train, like, mm-hmm. Yeah. Everybody being, like, I'm awake. You're reading these, really, the sort of a panicked audio books. They've got me really agitated in a way, I'm memorable. You'd remember the book.

They sort of make me feel very jumpy, which, you know. I think it uses the trauma mechanism of memories. Yeah, to, like, I've never done so well on essays for school. Like, you know, stepping into kids' book. like, that's not my bunny, my buddy's ears out of this one. What about the paws? Oh my God, this paws are too fairy. Next page, next page, kid, kid, move the next page.

Where's the green sheep? Oh my God! There's the red sheep. There's the blue sheep. Where's your buddy? Just how long, kid, don't just cry. It's listening to it. This is doing some wonders for my voice.

Yeah, yeah. Likewise, dude. Likewise, it's good. Yeah, and I think, you know, again, like he can, he's, he's fine, my any. I like that. Imagine if your life was all dreams. So, yes, you've lose touch with reality fairly quickly. But he never had reality to begin with.

Exactly. He has as much reality as we have dreams. Yeah. So his life, he, what is the dream? Is the dream the panicked wake up in a wet electric bed? Wait, hang on. We can't make the bed wet and then electrocuted it.

That will help conduct it through the sheets a lot better. Well, that's my worries that I never get out of it. I mean, I think you can just turn off the power sometimes. It'll short circuit. But yeah, so he, is that the dream? Is that just to him another dream? Is that just to him, another dream? You know?

And what are his dreams made up of? So obviously a dream is comprised, you know, in some way of the things that have happened to you, the people in your life or whatever. The events of the past, sure. I guess because he's all subconscious I guess there would be this like borrowing a little bit from

He would dream of faces he's never seen Yeah, that's wild dude Although having said that I very specifically And this is something I realize about myself Don't dream about people I know Anytime there's someone in my dream It's a new guy Really? I've never dreamt about anyone I know in my life

Yeah some brain generated things I think I've definitely encountered some people I know from when I was younger I had it a lot But the older I've gotten, it's just new guys. New guys. Yeah, I don't know what that's about. Yeah, well, that's cool. I think your brain's just like, oh, fuck these people.

We know what they look like. What about you guys? Yeah, let's make up some new dudes, okay? That's cool. I mean, it's creating a sort of a dream extended universe. Exactly. And that's what any of me would get to experience, dude. I think that's awesome, honestly.

Is there any, like, because the worry for me, for you is that when you step in, you're not tired enough. Yeah, that's true. And or the worry for me for any you is that they don't dream. So is there any drugs that, like, you can take as you're stepping in? Like, you know, like a sleeping... Salvia. Okay.

Okay. Okay. I go, open the door, Salvia, step through, close it. Come out, wake up the next morning, sweaty and not well slept at all. And, like, salvia, you have to, like, take a high-concentrated version and then bong, like, three in a row. Yeah. You know? What is, like, is it ayahuasca?

Yeah. So just some ayahuasca step through. Enjoy it. Enjoy it. How about a lovely time, really me. And it's also funny because ayahuasca, I think, I mean, I might, I've never done Iiosk, so I don't know for sure. But I feel like the thing with Iosker is it takes a while to kick in.

So it might be a situation where I step outside and I'm like, I feel too normal. It's going to hit. I'm going to step back inside. And would any, you know, people say on Iowa Oscar, they have revelations about their life. Yeah. Write it down. Write it down. For the God's right out.

But I wouldn't get them. I'd just step out. about being like, well, you could. I shot myself, so there's that. He might also try to step out whilst high, because he's like, I'm panicking and he goes out and you're like, oh, what am I? I'm tripping out.

I see God and you're like, and then you fall backwards, back into the room. So you do get some, like, revelation. You could, like, create definitely some sort of cult religion based on this because you could, like, write down your head, like, scrambling during your tripping balls. And then you get to interpret what you,

you know, a version of you wrote. That's true. the new gospel. I'll tell you what, man, salvia, but you're in a completely black room, or ayahuasca, cannot be good for you. I don't think I'm having any revelations. I think I'm seeing the devil. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No windows. There's just a bit of air coming from under the door. Yeah, and then you're electrocuted and bathed in cold water. Yeah, you see the bucket just waiting to be tipped. You go, who put that bucket there? Yeah. Who put that bucket there, dude? Why there's in the bad? Every day. Every day the bucket gets filled. I don't know who fills it.

Who feels the bucket? You start, you start, like, taken down like the step under the bucket or whatever like that and you bring down the bucket and you like climb up into that hole and you're like in the roof space. I'm free. People go, I wonder how Jackson's ayahuasca any experiment works because I haven't seen him in months.

And there's just this inn he's just living in the crawl space of the house and he's using like tied together rope to get food from inside the house like that. Yeah, so never had to go on the floor. Yeah. One day it trips and I wake up and it's been two years or whatever. There's a long, scraggly beard. Was I asleep? Yeah, there's just piles of shit everywhere in this crawl space.

Don't feel refreshed. I'm so tired, dude. I'm going to go. I'm going to go back to bed. Step back through the door. Back up through the thing. Well, two years keep going by real quick for some reason. That's scary.

Jackson's very quickly. He wakes up. He's like 70 years old. And I'm not rested I don't what the fuck I'm gonna go back in You know what, just a little power nap I just hate sleeping

Okay, everyone? Not for me, okay? Just need a power nap Yeah, yeah Do you think if you got reconnected your first sleep I've been doing this for 20 years You've not slept Your first sleep would have to be so frightening, right?

The thing is though, like Jackson Like, you can nap on a couch. That is true. You don't have to sleep in this bed. You could also go to another bed. But the sleep I get in this bed, dude, it's like nothing on it. I get it. It's like nothing on it.

I guess if like, yeah, if the thing just activated when you went through the door and so he discovered that he could just get out through the house, he goes and lives a life. But at some point, maybe, you know, 20 years in, maybe I just picture you were a bit independent. your payments stop going to the company that runs this thing and then it just kind of deactivates and then suddenly you're just like

in the middle of a forest camping you're 70 years old and you're like wait I'm back or you wake up on like a lazy boy as your wife steps into the room that you've never met in your life before you're gonna go see the Johnson's later on honey

yeah who the fuck are you yeah let's go I guess let's get to see what they're up to you. Hey, why am I 70 real quick? Yeah, quick question. Real quick, why does everything hurt? Yeah, why have I become really sore?

You know, last thing I remember I went to bed, so you got to understand this is startling for me. Yeah. That'd be amazing. Yeah. My one is, would just be for wiping the ass, wiping my own ass. Oh, ass wiping ATB, god damn. So it's not when you go into the toilet. No, because I think,

Maybe you just have a button that you press. I think that it's when you, when your ass hits the seat. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you kind of got like shitting ATB. Yeah, I think it's a shitting ATB and stuff like that. But, yeah, because I guess it doesn't really mix it if it's just ass wipe. But I mean, it could be.

It just, you would have to have a button in the toilet. A problem there is that, hey, they could press the button. No, but maybe it's a timer, you know, that active. And maybe, yeah, I don't know. I would think there's some way you could do it. Yeah. I think that ATV's life is pure hell. Well, my worry is the first time it happens.

Yeah. It's like when you press the button, they just wake up and then like a little vid screen of you comes up to be like, welcome to life. Your ass wipe me. Your joke it out for until we die is to wipe my ass. Because they might just stand up with a poopy butthole and then just start like trying to like, you know, then they might like scramble and like leave the bathroom. Yeah. And I think as soon as they open the door. And they walk, that's, that's, I come back to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. And you look, like, I got, I got, I'm going to go back in that. I got, this is not, right, yeah, so that would be the biggest pain in the asses. Every time you walk out, you have to go and check. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do they, do the job? I don't know. You're getting one of those mirrors they used to inspect underneath cars. Yeah, a little dentist mirror.

Yeah, you got one just like right by the door before you're leaving, or just at the outside. Eat a bad job. Eat a bad job. Go on back in. A lot of it probably. could just be solved by getting one of those Japanese toilet seats or whatever like that. Get a bidet. Get a bidet.

They're wonderful. There's a bidet in the toilet here. Have you used it? Hello. No, my brother has one. And I was just lived there for a month. And I was like, this is, and the warm one?

Yeah. Oh, we don't have the warm. No, that would be nice. That's my next. Unfortunately, you've got to do so much, I guess, retrofitting. Yeah. If you kind of want, like, you know, the electric, I guess, I could remand. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whenever I'm not, like, shitting in. office toilet, I am so unhappy. Yeah, when I go home, and I got I got to wipe like an animal. I know. I know. Like a feeling animal. Like a wiping animal. I think the part that I find really

unpleasant is those those wiping experience. I mean, most of the wiping experiences are not a nice thing. No, of course. I mean, but he would get to find out about your life. Yeah, yeah. Through the wiping and the wiping about what's going on with your life. Oh, you like, you know, he would experience spice all the things that we get, all the joys

of life that we get. He would have to experience on It is bad to when he comes to, like, if you've got diarrhea, he just knows it's going to be a worst day on the job. But for him, it's so fucked up that his life is just uninterrupted wiping. He wipes from the moment. And pooping as well. For me, I think as soon as he sits down, he gets to have the poop, which is a bit satisfying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true. He gets that, but then he knows. He's always getting that. He's always getting that. Imagine a life of eternal pooping. And once you've wiped, you start pooping again. That's this man's existence. But I think the part, it's like, you know when sometimes the toilet paper is of a low quality

and it's really ripping the skin off it? That's basically some of the worst pain you can get when you're wiping on that ripped skin like that. And so just, that's just what I don't want. Yeah, of course. You know? I remember in my, how old would I be in my, I think my early 20s, I had a polyp removed. Oh, ow. Annal polyp.

So it was removed and I had surgery for that. And afterwards, the shit. Shitting felt like someone was just knife-fucking me in the arms. And it was, oh, like, I remember, at this point, I think I was teaching as well. So I was, like, using, like, the staff toilet and, like, I had, like, one foot on the door. Because that would be, like, the, like, I was just bracing for the pain. And it was just like, and it was just the, the, the most, like, white-hot agony for, like, a small. You got to pixel-eat that foot, Lawrence, by the way.

Sam was giving away feet for Frey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this whole episode. Yeah, yeah, pixelator, pixelate. You can't give way these for free. You gotta pay extra for this. And yeah, yeah, yeah, so I guess, yeah, like having someone else for that, that would be great. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, you'd be, you'd pay for itself as soon as you develop. Oh, 100%. Oh, 100%. Exactly, and you could. That's the beauty, right? Now, say, you know, for example, yesterday, this was just circumstance. It was unfortunate. I had McDonald's for breakfast, no lunch, McDonald's for dinner, okay?

Sure, sure, sure, sure. It was bad, okay? I mean, in a way, it was a healthy lunch. A healthy lunch of nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then it was late. The only place that was open on my way home was a McDonald's, so I had to step in there. And let me tell you, my guts were not pleased with the decision I'd made, okay?

It was one of those days where you wake up the next day craving fruit, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what's bad about that is I know I've got to go to the toilet and deal with the back end of two McDonald's in one day. Of course. But if I had a wiping any, who cares? And think about how good his initiative, like, you know, his motivation would be to become an incredible wiper who knows how to not cause pain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has that within himself to just develop techniques and he can maybe, you know, use toilet paper to write notes on the floor being like maybe a slightly higher quality toilet paper. Yeah, exactly. My worry is you've given him another

writing implement that isn't toilet paper. though. Oh, that's true. That is a way that you step into your toilet and you get shit on the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I suspect because I'm an empath, my iny is unhappy with it. Yeah, that's my feeling. Do I try

to deal with this with kindness or do I try to deal with this? I guess you could like put little things inside the toilet where it's like... Like a book? Yeah, book. No, they'll put a book in there because then you go, you sit down on the toilet and when you get up it's been like three hours or whatever. And they go... Hey, DP, you always spend so much

much time in the toilet. It's not my choice. Okay, we'll leave 10 pages at a time. Yeah, yeah. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. Or you walk out of the toilet and you're completely nude and you're like, what the hell have you open the door and all your clothes are stuffed into the toilet and like, oh, God damn.

Or you step outside and there's water seeping out, but other than you turn around and the toilet's just been destroyed. The cistern's been torn off. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. His life is hell, so you're fair enough. The inside of the inside walls have been broken and somebody's been fiddling with the wires of the, of the, sort of the, of the, the severance device.

That's so scary. Using broken porcelain to kind of like smash through the walls. You're like, you know what, given what I've put him through, I don't want him to get out. Yeah. I don't want to see what he's going to do to me out of revenge. Do you think you would. Yeah, but I am busting. Do you think before he started to do.

turn on you. Yeah. So like, you know, sometimes you'll be out somewhere and you'll see like like a greasy cab shop that doesn't look very good. Okay. And you, but you, and you go, not my problem. I'm not going to go there. But do you reckon you'd have a not my problem mentality? Yeah. But you go, hey, TB, you're really eating that? And you're like, yeah, my enemy would. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you get this like dude what the fuck written onto the walls and shit or whatever like that. Yeah. And so, dude. So the next day, you walk into the toilet, you sit down, and you've got a cabab in your head. Oh.

And you let him experience it while he's shitting. That's a great idea. Like that, and he's like, good idea. And then it's like on the wall written and shit, oh, I get it. I have to stand there. Oh, yum. No, that's nice. Yeah.

Thank you. Next time you go and you bring like a permanent marker or something. Yeah. You just put a whiteboard in there. You don't have to, you know, let me, I can help you. We can solve this problem pretty easily. Yeah, we can communicate in other ways. Nice.

What about pissing? Do you reckon you would keep pissing for yourself? I think I, you know, I don't think I want to give up that sensation of having a good, having a good piss. You rarely have a bad piss in this life. It can happen. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If you get kidney stones.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never experienced it myself, but I am worried. Yeah, extremely worried. It's one in three. I think one and three people are going to get kidneys. It might be one of three men. I don't know, but one or three people at least are going to get kidney stones.

I don't drink that much a diet Coke. Yeah. So I feel, I'm hoping that that puts me in the, I'm going to be okay. Diet Coke, is it, that causes it? I think so, yeah. I think Diet Coke's pretty bad for it. I worry for our friend, Jill Doucher. For our friends, it's all the Coke Zero.

Joel Doucher looks like he was born with kidney stones. He's the face of kidney stones. Oh, I've got kidney stones. I've got kidney stones. Oh, man. Like, aphids, you know, are born pregnant already with the next generation. Joel was born. He had like six large stones in there.

And he was like, but he had to grow into an adult before. Before they could come out. Before the pipe was even anywhere near close for them to get lodged in and have to be stopped. Joel Dusha was born with every kidney stone he's ever going to have. Turns out, that's a lot. That's a lot. He's got about seven in there. It's a very, it's an obstructed that almost acts as a piss filter.

That's like urine comes out so quickly. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of like, yeah, charcoal, and you make that kind of like a little filter for water. Absolutely, yeah. Seven doesn't seem a lot, though, when you said, oh, I was imagining 70. That seems... 70 kidney stones. Yeah, that seems like, that seems excessive.

Seven seems almost like what I would expect. Yeah, seven is probably a normal amount of... Well, I've only... I've had one friend who had a kidney stone. They've only ever had one in their life. It's never happened again. This would have been about three or four years ago, maybe. So, I don't know.

So, yeah. I don't know. How many... How many kidney stones... stones is too many. Well, one, one is too many. But isn't it also a thing where they go, you might have, because you have, like, you are born with the kidney stones? No, it's like something

like you might have kidney stones already. Yeah, yeah. But they're small enough that they're not, they don't need to come out. And then they grow like a pearl inside you. Yeah. Or it's like layer upon layer of like, whatever, a kidney stone calcified something. Yeah, I did see a guy, like a little video of a guy where he was like, yeah, something like that. He does that. And then this like weird

stone comes out of his mouth. Oh, yeah, yeah. That freak. And it's one of those, like, weird, like, Salivary, oh, tonsill, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can get stuff in your salivary glands as well? Yeah, so I tend to, I went to when I was getting like really bad, like glandular fever and that. Like, yeah, I had like, yeah, tonsl stones. And I think, but you can get like a little water pick? Yeah, to just zap them out.

Yeah, which was much better than the previous thing that I was doing. Yeah. Which was I would get my wife's bobby pin. That's a really, and I would straighten it out. And then I would try to get them out of my mouth. and sometimes you'd be like, oh yeah, and then you maybe go a little bit too much

and then it would start bleeding. Yeah, that's crazy. That's a crazy man decision. But are you pushing it through, like you have to like push it up through a hole or something like that? There's those holes there. So what you can do now, okay, what you can do, do you still get these?

Yeah, yeah, occasionally. But you can kind of squeeze them, but it involves like putting like a finger down like there into your mouth and using your thumb on the outside to kind of push things out. I'm very glad I've never had a tonsil stone. Yeah, that's a dream of mine is to never get one. Yeah, that's my bad as well.

That's the dreams I'm allowed to have because I... The human body's bad. Yeah, but do you ever keep the stones? God, no. You don't want to make a necklace out of them? Apparently, I'm not going to sniff them. Yeah, apparently they smell really bad because it's food and it gets caught. Little bacteria and the back of your throat and then build up.

Again, like a pill. The body makes all kinds of pearls. Oh, my gosh. It sounds like if you're ready for a necklace. Tonsal stone necklace. I do wonder. It's like a lot of people, you know, they could have that. used to at least get their tonsils remove it.

But I'm wondering, like, is it because of, it's like a filtration almost, like, like, like, another line of, like, first defense for your body. Yeah. That's what tonsils are there for. But if you get, I guess, get sick or whatever, it's like, they just become a bit larger. Oh, man, if you had an inny just for when you start,

when you have to push out your tonsil stones. And it's like, for him, it's like an escape room. He goes, like, why am I here? Yeah, that's true. What's wrong with my body? Yeah. Let me figure it out. Yeah.

And then touching yourself, putting your fingers. is down your throat or whatever. He wakes up, he's in a tiny room, and there's just a few, like, medical implements there. It's like a sore trap. Yeah. And every time he gets one, like, oh, he gets them out, and he goes, oh, it smells it.

Smell it. Like that. And, and then he's like, I think I'm done. And then, like, the door goes, ding. Like, it goes green or whatever like that. Maybe, like, your wife is watching it, and then she, so just like, yeah, you're out. Now your breasts will smell nice.

But also, for that in here, he steps outside, then he steps back. into the room and he goes okay it's happening again because that's the only thing he that's what his life looks like is it still tonsil stones or is it another unique problem i'm wondering is there like a thing where we can like really just like not for material gain an hour round but just to really fuck with harini like i was imagining skydiving so when i step out of the plane that's when he activates when i hit the earth that's when he deactivates but for him he's just constantly constantly falling.

He really hope he pulls the shoe. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, that's too dangerous. At some point he's going to go. Not again. I think it's funny because it's going to cost me quite a lot of money to be continually charted planes to not get the experience.

But it just occurred to me, the guy who's in there doing the tonsil stones, you realize you could probably put all the material for like a medical degree in there. That's true. So that over the years, he becomes trained to. be able to do like anytime you've got an injury like let's say you just got a huge gash you go in there and he has to like sew himself up which you don't have to experience the pain from but you come out and it's like

of course his incentive is to keep himself alive exactly he's done the medicine for you yeah so he's just in a room he's a doctor that's all he ever does yeah a doctor who wakes up every day with a mysterious injury and has to figure out how to fix it oh wow just survive basically good luck

That's so scary Yeah Maybe for like a little while Sometimes you can just go in there And this is just that He alternates between hurt And learning And learning

But he's like I have to learn Because I know in the future I will be hurt again That's my life Okay It's like a little cut in your hand Okay a little boo-boo

I guess I'll just put a band there Oh yeah Okay is that all I need to do Back to my learning And then one day He's like he wakes up He's bleeding from a gunshot Like, what if...

What is the how has happened? Oh, yeah. Every time he does something, there's just a new YouTube, like, like, tutorial on how to, like, here's how you get, you know, shotgun pellets out of your gut. It's very funny. You're either hunting accidents or whatever it is, like, as people like, you know, call the hammers or whatever you, they're like, no, take one to my house. Take one of my house.

I have a special room that fixes me. I can do this. Somebody give me to my house. Like, well, we have, like, a hospital. No, no. No, no, no, he's, he's being trained. This is for me, but the other me. No, no, sir, you're coming to hospital.

That's crazy. He's like, you've got like some panic button that does turn you into him very quickly. Oh, God, it's happened to get me some foresets. Let's hand me those four-seps. Oh, he's going to pull something out of his own ass on, like a light bulb or something. You're going to keep a bunch of medical. equipment up your asshole for this exact situation.

Why do you have to shove a light bulb up here? This is going to suck so much. It doesn't help. Sometimes you need light to work on your body. Okay? I need a light work on my body. Oh yeah, doing your own like

where you put that, oh yeah, dentistry as well. Yeah. But one of those things where you have to swallow a camera in order to like see what's inside your stomach and things like, checking it out. That's scary.

It's like a horror movie. This man's life. Yeah, but that's the price you pay. That's right. It's a trial by fire. Exactly. He's learned. I think it is a risk to get injured and go into that room and just hope that the innies.

Because you don't know if the inner you has learned how to look after you. The risk of death for all of ours except maybe yours are pretty high. No, no, the risk is for all of ours. Pretty high. Yeah. He's getting a bit of like a jagged porcelain. The ground in the toilet flushed to right into the deck. Yeah, that thing where I guess it's like the porcelain, he's breaking open the door.

He destroys the electronics in the door. And then I guess he would immediately switch back to me and then fall to the ground onto the broken porcelain. Oh, yeah. Like that, you're like, oh, shit. And then you have to, like, get contractors in to put metal walls. Like, why you force a fight? Your shitter. The lesson isn't, maybe I need to stop this.

No, reinforce the door. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. How dare he defy me? Yeah. It's a dangerous, a dangerous way to live. To have any. But I like it.

I think it would all be worth it in my opinion. I reckon, yeah. Each one. At least for a day. At least for a day. Just for a laugh. I think it really makes it worthwhile the longer it goes on. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Then it pays for itself. I think what time you're saving. What about, you know, this is another option. Just to wrap us up maybe if we've got a guy to do our podcasts for us. You have any podcast. And then not only do you never have to work, you also get to listen back and see what funny shit you said. That is fun.

The problem there is, we often do a pop culture show where we need to know a little bit. Not everything, because no one can know everything about pop culture. We need to know a bit about what's going on. That is true. We know a bit about a lot of different things. When the any of us wake up, they know the room. Yeah. But they'd certainly start making, you know, riffs about the room.

Yeah, I mean, but there is... What if I was this desk? Yeah, that movie reminded me of that poster on the wall. I don't have a mirror, so I don't know what I look like. Do I look like any of those apes behind you? Oh, sorry, what is that behind you? Who is this man? Yeah.

A lot of the podcast is just getting the other guests to describe you to that. Describe me to me. Imagine I don't have any way of telling what my face looks like or what the outside world is. I understand the hands and like maybe from like, you know, not quite the, like not the top, like the bottom of my. I can see my nose. Yeah. Oh, if I go cross out, I can see my nose a little bit, but from the other way. So what that looks like?

What the hell is this? Is it look like you? People listening and being like, what? happens to plumbing the death star Yeah and also They would just start Going like trying to have more life experiences with each other

Yeah absolutely Oh an office romance Yeah We're back here again You know plumbing the death star I really liked it because it was like It was a comedy pop culture podcast But these days it's just three men hump

Umper most of the time The Audi's still like I can't I don't have time to look over this Let's just put it out Yeah, just, I'm not going to edit it. Just upload it, it's fine. Oh, yeah, every time we get a guest in, they come out, and they're like, oh. That was an experience.

I did plug me to that story about three years ago. It wasn't like that. Yeah. Is this new? Oh, I love that you're still sending guests in there with your in-eis. Yeah. So you want to promote something? Somebody just, just the three of us hoping and the guests on the couch being like,

anyway, I got a comedy shirt coming out of. Yeah, I get a comedy show on the 12th and 13th. Please come on down to the... Do you want me to chuckle bucket? Yes. Is it finished? It would be weird as well to sort of finish humping, go out, come back in, see each other, could be completely refreshed and ready to hump again, and then just go straight for it.

So we finish the episode, yeah, everyone leaves. We are, oh, how was the episode? Was it good? Was it good? Would it be funny? I smell weird Anybody else really sweaty I feel like I need to shower

And maybe some protein Coming home being like Work has become really exhausting Recently Gatorade also Yeah I feel like it's like a physical workout too somehow It's just weird The podcast just go straight to a billionaires

Thing And they just You know Listeners have gone Like it's plummeted But we've never made more money I don't know what that's about dude It seems that we've got one listen per episode

People keep referring to it They stop calling it pulmonary They call it three men humpin I don't know what that's about It's actually a really good name I mean maybe we change it It's funny Three men humpin

Those guys, the Ineos They're coming up with some funny riffs Really It's working Three Man Humpin Sure We are billionaires Yeah we're doing very well

With three men humpin So yeah Well I think that's I mean that's the perfect use Yeah I think so Of having an iny Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I guess it could be running just an only fan. Yeah, that's true. Just have your any, you know, and then you get to just reap the benefits, you know? Yeah. Because I've also thought about these guys who are like the boyfriend of an only fan's person and thinking how, like, suddenly, because I know when we when we were having sex to try to make a baby. Yeah. Suddenly it does feel, it's like the sex does feel like work.

Yeah, okay. You know, like just when it's like, it's like scheduled. We got to do this now. There's a purpose to this, yeah, and there's a part of you that's like, this is a lot more than we would naturally, you normally do, and it's like, suddenly it does feel like work. And so this idea of like, hey, you didn't shave your pubes to short enough or whatever like this. And you're not doing this. And like, you're starting to get like really upset about this. Like, if we don't keep the quality up, people are going to unsubscribe.

Exactly. It becomes, yeah. You've got to be like, we've got to fucking this angle. I know it's not the most comfortable. Yeah. But it's the one that gets the most, you know, the revenue. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then your girlfriend finding out that you've sort of severed yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, well, it's work. So I'm severed, you know, that's what the innies for being. And that's why, you know, when we're not, I know, and it'd be like, I understand we don't really, like, make love anymore if the camera's not running. But when we do, it's nice for me. Yeah, it's new, yeah. And, you know, the reason.

It's romantic. I don't think it's experience the romantic love. Yeah, at some point, she's like, you know, it's like a romantic one. And she's like, she'd turn the cameras on for this. Oh, baby. He's like, no, no, no, no. Hey, fucking, baby. All right.

Let's get down to business. I don't know why. Just something about your in he becomes really, like, redneck and kind of like, All right, man, let's get down. Let's get let me spin your assholes. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then it's so funny afterwards, she's like, hey, can we, like, have a talk about your performance? And you're like, yeah, what's the problem?

You're like, what the fuck are you doing? Did you need to make a character for this? A character. A character. You start... Why, what happened? He starts leaving notes on the back of your girlfriend. Yeah, yeah.

When you see she's getting her dress to get in the shower. What the hell? He's trying to communicate with me. You start watching, like, you know, you subscribe to you, the only, you know, you're an only fan. So you're, like, watching back and you're looking at yourself, like, mouthing you messages. Yeah, yeah. Of the link King and Morse code to tell you stuff. This is interesting.

All he's saying is, I want my name to be Jim Sacks. Okay. I guess that's fine. That's all he says. Oh, yeah. I wish I was Jim Sacks so, okay. Hey, hon, next time we turn the camera on, if we just want to like, you can we just, it's a little bit of, you got to call me Jim Sex.

Otherwise I'm not going to do it. And they're paying a lot of money. They're paying a lot of money for me to be Jim Sex. or Jim Sex. And then you have to subscribe to your girlfriend's only fans to be that person so that your indie doesn't get mad with you. He's mouthing you requests. Yeah, and then she's looking through the data

and she's like, whoa, this somebody's using our credit card. What the hell? What the hell? That's crazy. I mean, the money, we're still getting the money in a way. It's a perfect system. But it's coming to us, so really it's not a crime. It's kind of like nothing's changing in a way.

Like the money leaves our bank account that goes back into it. But he really shouldn't be showing us that daughter. Why do we have access to this? Come on, babe, I'm Jim Sachs. Let's get down to business. Come on, Dahlop. Let's do it. Let's make a little video.

This is a good time. He's a lot of love for your pussy. I'm Jim Sachs. He's writing country songs. He's like in his little period. He's like, running down to business. Don't fuck my girlfriend do. Nothing I love more to make a love.

Jim sex I'm Jim sex and I love to know to my in his wife I'm not I don't know what living life outside of having sex is like on my life is having sex

I'm Jim sex Yeah you find these recordings on your phone And next time it's like You're like I know the greatest agent in the business He was he helped me out When I was doing

Panicked voice reading I love it. It's beautiful. Jim sex, you're going to make millions. Jim Sex rises, the number one. This guy comes and sees you. He's like, he's a manager, and he's like, hey, we're going to need Jim Sachs to be able to come out a little bit more frequently.

His album is kicking off, and there's people asking for interviews, and it just doesn't seem appropriate to ask your wife to have sex with it more. Hey, you probably don't need to worry. I mean, you can keep doing the only fence if you want to be having a good time, but like the Jim Sex money is through the roof. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Jim Sex. Jim Sex, my whole life is sex.

The only thing I ever do is make love from Jim Sex. So you make it so it's like, you know, you activate it. It's like him with the guitar. It's like, where's my what? I don't have to live if I'm not having sex. Oh, and then his next album is this tragedy where he's lost his whole purpose in life. I don't know what is like to not have sex, but I'm not having sex. My name is Jim Sex and I don't know what to do with my penis.

I'm bone dry What do you do with it now I don't know what the part of my life is Or his album just stinks And you realize Jim Sex needs to have sex Before writing His muse is having sex of your life Yeah he said

During And then you're gone At one point Jim Sex becomes so successful a musician You cease to exist And you've given over your life to Jim Sex I can imagine like You're sold out stadium shows

It's just like you know The stage with like a bed so for Jim sex to like fuck your wife while playing Jim sex yeah come on you know she wasn't entirely

into the sort of showing herself off in that way so she like wears one of those like morph suits which she's completely covered but she does sit on him so that he can play his guitar yeah green morph suit

and so then that's the stage and then we can like on the billboards only like the big screens there we can just put whatever we want yeah exactly because it's a green morph suit We put his album cover. Jim Sachs, he's making love to his own album. Oh, this is what an impressive man.

You're like Jim Sex would. He would. Jim Sex would. Jim Sex would. Yes, dude. Jim Sex, I want an album, but what do you think Jim Sex's album is called? I think it's self-title. Yeah.

And on that note, I've been Jackson Bailey. I've been Joel Zammett. And I've been Alistair, George William, Trumbly, Bertrandall. If people want to find more, of you, ATB. Where should they go? You can find me on the Two in the Think Tank podcast with my friend Andy Matthews. And you can find me at A Trombly Virtual on Instagram. And yeah, thank you so much.

Beautiful. And hey, if you want to support us for coming in, yes. You want to support plumbing the death star in your water? Yeah. Just do it. Just do it. Just do it. You just go to the membership.

You click that. You're like, oh, there's so many bones. You can sign off. A bit of a bad brain boys. I get access to a bonus plumbing that. every month, an episode of What If, a show where we're going through the 1970s to the, probably the

modern day Marvel comics where they ask what if, and we go, what if? We try to answer the question and get a Jackson Billy Spooks America. Twice a month. Do twice a month. Access to the Discord. And, you know, even... Add free content and even discounts on tickets for live

shows. Come on, dude. You'd be doing me a favor. Which is the main thing. That's true. And, yeah, Jackson will be in your debt. I'll be in your debt. I'll be in your debt. They say the best way to make somebody like you is to do them a favor. And well. So if you want me to like you, do me the favor. If you're on Apple, you can just click that button.

Click that button. It's right there. It's right there. It's so enticing. Just let go. Just let go. Just let go. It's like, hey, just close your eyes. Yeah. Pretend that's any you.

Yeah, exactly. Press that button. Any me that I've got only for subscribing to things. And like, I guess I subscribe to something. And if you, yeah, if you were, like, and we're, and we're, like clever artists out there if you want like a rendition of maybe like Jim Sex's like album cover

I would love to see it and if you think maybe like oh actually you know self-titled that's a bit yeah if you've got a better title but Jim Sex is debut album you can write some beautiful songs Jim Sex songs yeah some Jim Sex songs I want to know what you come up with

I would love to see at the very least a track listing yeah what's on Jim Sex's first album what are the tracks I love to see them I remember doing this in something like a year 10 like graphics. We had to design like, you know, an album, like cover and all this kind of stuff. So if you're a

high schooler and you have this assignment for our graphics, hey, you could just, you could submit this. You could make the gym set album. And this is like, yeah, you could get us in a lot of trouble. Yeah. Yeah. And yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'd say this, what do you do? Hey, I'm going to fail you. So

do you think this is funny? You think you think it's a joke, dude? You think you think This is funny? You think this is funny by? Your education is a joke. And you say, yes, I do think this is funny. And yes, this education is a joke. I hate this clown school.

I don't need to go to school. I have Plumbing the Death Star. That's what you're going to say. And they go, oh, I fear for you, my little boy, have fucked up. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Thank you.