Plumbing the Death Star - What Did InGen Do Before Jurassic Park? (Ft. Benny Davis)

Episode Date: October 22, 2017

In which our heroes create a genetics company, purchase an island, and then clone dinosaurs seemingly out of nowhere as we ask what did InGen do before Jurassic Park with our good friend Benny Davis from the Dragon Friends podcast!Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail]: twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammitBenny: https://twitter.com/bennymofodavis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SANS PANTS RADIO, GUIDING YOU TOWARDS THE LIGHT Hey everybody, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, What did InGen do before Jurassic Park? So for those not in the know, InGen being the company that cloned the dinos. John Hammond, he made it, I guess. He runs it. Yeah, he's the CEO?

I don't know what his particular role is in InGen. But he made the company, right? But in the movies, John Hammond's like, hey, I'm the head of InGen, and we made dinosaurs. But they never explain, because this is new, what the fuck InGen was doing before they made dinosaurs, because a company doesn't just spring up having made the technology. Okay, so does

this, hello, do I need a... If you want. Everyone, it's Benny! Yay! Do you just... You just put my name on the thing? I should have just started talking. Is InGen one word or two? Is it a J? Is it a G? I think it's I-N-G-E-N.

So genetics is presumably yeah okay no these these are just the things that are going to help me visualize okay so i just immediately realized when you were like what does he even do i'm like yeah it's a very similar role to um anthony hopkins in westworld yeah it is where it's just like this enigmatic yeah the benefactor who's also the creator kind of but like he seems to be powerless because there's all these business people who are actually in charge. And it's weird because you're like, the idea, with Anthony Hopkins and John Hammond.

What was his name in Westworld? I forget. Oh, I know, Robert Frost. That's right. Because I had to put that into a rhyme. That's a lot of good rhymes for Frost. But what I was going to say is that the idea, presumably for both of them, is that they came up with the idea.

It's an idea anyone could come up with. You know what I mean? Yeah, but or did they come up with the idea of, I want to make a theme park first? Is John Hammond being like, I want to make a theme park? Because he loved his theme parks. He was like, I want anyone to come down and enjoy the dinosaurs at my my theme park that's what i'm going to do it is he loved that yeah and did he be like oh i want a theme park well dream world sucks have you been to movie

world not for you garbage have you been to a fucking zoo boring disney land can eat my fucking asshole i went to a safari i didn't see a fucking lion at all. So was it that? Are you suggesting that John Hammond's like, I love theme parks and I have a lot of money. What I'd like to do is see dinosaurs. 100%. 100%. This crazy old man who had a lot of money

and he was just like, you know what's going to take this to the nth degree. Kind of like, who was that Australian politician? Clive Palmer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clive Palmer was like, I'm making a dinosaur park but they're on animatronics and they suck and it's probably a scam. This was like, I'm actually doing it. John Hammond was like, it, yeah. My partner was like, I'm making a dinosaur park, but they're animatronics and they suck and it's probably a scam.

This was like, I'm actually doing it. John Hammond was like, it's happening. Well, something else that I've always wondered is if InGen can make dinosaurs, what else can they make? Clearly anything. Well, they can make hybrids as well. Well, yeah. I mean, like the possibilities of InGen as a company seem largely limited.

Hang on, hang on, hang on. Okay, so it's a genetic place, right? Yeah. Does that mean they could definitely do hybrids? Yeah, because they do it in Jurassic World. They make the white dinosaur, whatever it is. Yeah. You know the one?

The big one. Is that the Chris Pratt one? Yeah, that's the one. Chris Pratt is the white dinosaur. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but yeah, the Chris Pratt one. He makes... I don't know what they're called.

That's going to be... You should hang on to that joke because that's going to be funny in like 20 years. When he's old? Yeah, five or ten even at the rate things are going. I'm going to roll that out. Yeah, that's brilliant. The white dinosaur from the last world.

I wonder if... Because they've also been splicing in other DNA from the start, like the very start. They say they have frog DNA. Yeah, that's how they did it. They're like, we got frog DNA and we got DNA from old mosquitoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we mixed that shit and guess what, a dinosaur.

Which is so funny because like- It wasn't like a cool fusion. It wasn't like a horse with wings, you know. It wasn't an actual fire-breathing dragon instead of the boring kind that we have. Don't you always feel ripped off when someone's like, this is the native dragon or whatever. You're like, fuck yeah, wings and prisoners and fire,

and then it's just a little lizard. It's a real letdown. But the covota dragon's pretty good. It eats a buffalo, and that's nice. They eat buffalo? Yeah. They take down elk and shit. What, do they, like, swallow them whole like snakes?

I wish. I think they just tear the shit out of them. No, that's better. Like, snakes, it's kind of like that lazy, oh, oh, oh. It's slow. There's nothing impressive. I mean, it's impressive they can get the jaw around it. Yeah.

It's not as cool as being savage to it and just tearing it out. What blew my mind were more savage, because they got all that bacteria and shit in their bite. So usually they'll go up to, like, an elk or a water buffalo, strike it once, and then they'll, like, scarper away, and then just sit and watch. And then they'll start watching. And then they'll get,per away and then just sit and watch and then they'll start watching and then they'll get like

four of their buddies to start watching and it's just like water buffalo slowly dies and then they just don't attack they just like just start watching and just slowly tracking it

but that's so efficient it is very efficient yeah yeah and because you know that water buffalo knows it's fucked oh yeah that water buffalo is dying

being like fuck you fuck you to all of the komodo dragons watching how will we top of the food chain? I don't know. They can do that.

What the fuck? No thumbs. That's the trick. Thumbs, that's it? That's all it took. That's all it took, mate. Imagine being able to take on your enemies and just like, oh, you disagree with me?

Okay, well, how about I just lick your neck? And then wait. Yeah, and just sit here and watch. I remember watching David Attenborough's Planet Earth and the bit on Komodo dragons. It's on a beach and there's this just like disconnect in my brain because I can't imagine a Komodo dragon. That's like the wrong setting.

You know what I mean? It's like seeing an elephant in a meadow. Your brain's just like, nah. Who's to say they don't like a bit of sand? Well, evidently they do. But I just don't imagine a Komodo dragon in that situation. Well, that is incredibly specious of you. That's true.

Just think about it. You think like beach, sun, rock. They are just giant lizards. I think this one was eating fish, which was cool. Or crabs. Right? And that hurts my head. What was I going to say?

Something about InGen. InGen can combine dinosaurs. Yeah, that's right. I love how much of a gamble it is in the first one. They're like, we get the DNA from a mosquito. Which is like, could be any dinosaur. Mix that shit with a frog and just see what we get. What if

what if, okay, so let's, let me give the realest answer I can. They're a genetics company. I mean, it's a fucking movie about dinosaurs coming to life. We've, you know, it doesn't matter how real we want to make it. Yeah, exactly. A genetics company that's just, you know, they're medical for all intents and purposes. They're just, you know, bionic limbs and stuff and blood fusions and for the good of the human race.

And then there's this in section of it. And they're just like, what if we just take it to the nth degree? And like, I don't know. What if they were a zoo? What if it was international? Yeah, yeah. All right all right something starting with n that's not the word that i was thinking of like cannot say all right how about so how about this so is there a cloning facility like kind of like a dolly or you know the sheep without so they were basically that and maybe they're like all right there's a food shortage so we're going to clone things for food and do some R&D or whatever.

Then John Hammond comes in. We'll be in, like, theme park. He's some eccentric rich billionaire, just buys it, buys the technology, and he's like, right, boys and girls, I know what I want. There's so many weird jobs. So say they start off not even a cloning company. The most realistic answer we can give, which you're right, Benny,

is, like, we make artificial limbs and hearts and organs. And then someone's like, hey, so I think with this technology we can make life. I love that guy in the pitch meeting. That's the real spanner in the works. It just comes in. Okay, it's great what you're doing and all this artificial hearts and stuff and saving lives, but what if, what if a bunch

of monstrous lizards that will eventually devour us all. I think we can do it. Are you into that? I want to see that PowerPoint presentation. Okay, so as you can see, they're all just hand-drawn cartoons. It's like a five-year-old did them and just blood hanging

off teeth. And like the cut-out dinosaur eat the guy being like, it's not going to really happen. I'm just having fun. Let's make dinosaurs. But then you've got to go from there like, yes, for some reason. And then someone's like, and a theme park. What is it? It's just like so many steps. What is it that you think this Hammond guy wanted to show off?

Because he seems so excited about the zoo. Is it that he wants people to be able to see dinosaurs in the flesh? 100%. Or is it more that he wants people to see what he was capable of? Yeah. And what they were able to do? It feels like he was like, look at the achievement of modern science more than look at these crazy dinosaurs.

Yeah, you're right, because he's quite proud of like, look what we can do. You know what I mean? Like, he's not like, but then later proud of, like, look what we can do. You know what I mean? Like, he's not like... But then later on, he's like, anyone can come see. He's like, John Hammond's goal is to make a poor family see a T-Rex. That's what he'd love. That was what would just get him as happy as can be.

Yeah, I think he was all for education as well. Wait, wait, wait. He doesn't want a poor family coming to his park. He's charging thousands of dollars. Those helicopters aren't free. Well, no no he says It's weird There's a meeting where he's like

Really? Anybody from the poorest family To billionaires Can come to my park And his accountant is like Oh please no This is for rich people And in a very early episode

We did the mathematics And it's like 35 grand Maybe more To go to Jurassic Park For a week Yeah That's just

Because that's a flight To Costa Rica Yeah I mean And that's a flight to Costa Rica. Yeah, I mean. And it's a flight from Costa Rica in a helicopter. He's meant to be loaded, right? Yeah. That's rich. Who's that loaded that they sink all their money in that?

And that's unsustainable. You can't just give that shit away all the time. And somehow, InGen let it happen. Well, unless he's, how is he, I don't know the question. How is he funding this all? Because I guess he's got the is he, I don't know the question, how is he funding this all? Because I guess he's got the cloning facilities to, like, clone anything. So what is he cloning and selling to the very wealthy that he can fund this?

Have you seen The Prestige? Yes. Yeah, well, that's the prequel. Some of that sweet magician money. John Hammond being like, you know who's the richest people on the planet? The most well-respected. I've seen that Copperfield show. He needs another lad or three.

Those guys had a white tiger. That's got to cost them some money. No, okay, so you know the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, The Sixth Day? Yes. So in that movie, wait, is it The Sixth Day? The cloning one. I've seen the poster.

That's enough. I'm pretty sure. Didn't he fight a crocodile in that? I saw it when I was a teen. All I remember is the scene where one of the clones is naked on top of one of the other clones of the bad guy. And Arnie's like, you know when I told you to go fuck yourself, I didn't mean it literally. But I'm always like, Arnie, you put them in that position.

Wow. You can't set yourself up for a one-liner, Arnie. That's just sad. That is such a long road to walk to make that line happen. God damn it, Arnie. And he's saying it for himself. There's no one in the room. Also, that's a schoolyard joke. Like, I literally learnt that in primary school about the

kid who wants a Ferrari for his birthday and his dad asks if his dick can touch his ass. No. Oh, well, it can't. And he's like, well, come back to me next year. And then when it can, he goes good, go fuck yourself. I've never heard that before in my life. Don't put that in a movie. But in that movie, at the start, Arnie gets his dog cloned.

Okay. So I'm wondering if maybe InGen kind of like has that function in society. You're like, have you lost a pet? Cloning. Yeah. Just basic. I do miss that 80s trope of when they'll introduce a movie and they'll give you that backstory in sometimes just text on the screen. It's like, it's the future.

We clone dogs now. That's all you need. And you're like, oh, cool. I'm there. I get it. Is it in the book? Does Michael Crichton explain all this? I don't think so.

I don't think so. In the book. Isn't he fiercely accurate about the genetics behind it? Yeah, but the genetics might be true. It doesn't answer the question. I don't think he's ever like, this is what InGen... I mean, he maybe does. If he does, tweet me and let me know.

Because I'm not reading the book. No, I refuse. Can we just Google it? Please, this is torture. Especially for the listeners, but especially for us. Please, let's just look at that. I'll have a look. You have a clue.

I'll have a gander. All right, so I did the research. Okay. Guess what? What? in gen clones extinct animals what no that's what they started that's why this question no that's not an answer so they're like all right you know that you know that tasmanian tiger yeah we got one we got one we did it And then They made the jump to dinosaurs Then the jump to a theme park Also

After the events of Jurassic Park I just read InGen tanks But then it It comes back When they clone a plant And it gains Worldwide media attention

As opposed to the dinosaur island Fuck off Yeah So everyone's like Oh yeah there's dinosaurs There's plant though Oh my fucking god So wait

Does that mean that there's a potential maybe extant backstory about them just cloning extinct animals where there isn't like mass destruction? Well, like maybe because there are people out there trying to reclone or reclone, just clone the first time. So is conservation. Like they're trying to bring back, you know. The Tasmanian tiger, people are doing that. Which is definitely the keystone species.

Absolutely. Bring that shit back. Those animals were fried. Yeah. They canmanian tiger. People are doing that. Which is definitely the keystone species. Absolutely. Bring that shit back. Those animals were fried. Yeah. They could unhinge their jaw like a snake. Why wouldn't we just bring back, like start. It's such a big leap to dinosaurs because of the amount of stuff in between like megafauna. Yeah.

You know, you could just, you could try that out and they would do the same thing they did before, which was die because there's not enough food for them. Yeah. Well, yeah. Because evolution's a stupid thing that doesn't always work. Also, you're bringing those animals into a world that is not designed

to sustain those animals. It's going to go wrong. This has to have been InGen came in and bought a company that had already this existing thing and then they just kind of rebranded InGen and were like, hey, you want to guard an extinct animal? You want, we guard you. Because this has to be... You said that in the tone of someone doing it in general. Like, hey, you want to guard an extinct animal you want? We got you. Because this has to be. You said that in the tone of someone doing it in an alley,

opening their jacket. You're like, hey. Look at this. You want this? You got Dodo? Is there Dodo here? There's a Dodo right here. There you go.

You sit in this egg. Trust me, you can get Dodo. Now, 500 bucks. I love how disappointing, if a Dodo was the first thing, that's a disappointing animal to be like, reveal the Dodo. And it's just like, bop. And they're like, oh. I want to meet a Dodo. More a dinosaur it wasn't like a fucking delicious

oh it's such a guilty laugh of course we wiped him out oh they just tasted so good it kind of reminds me of the um the tortoises yeah when darwin were just like these fuckers are so good we we can't... They transported so many, but then they got back to hometown and they were like, we ate them all. I'm so sorry. They were just so tasty. Yeah, it was the same thing on Heron Island. We went out

there, Great Barrier Reef. They had the same thing, a turtle soup factory. And yeah, they would eat so much of it in transit because we were like... Animals that we like We make go extinct through our own decadence I've never eaten turtle But maybe I should

It sounds real good The meat looks really disgusting I was watching a cooking show the other day and he's like Turtle broth and I'm like it looks like dirty pond water It does but clearly it must taste amazing Yeah like I don't know as a kid you look at things like I don't know, as a kid, you'd look at things like, I don't know, even olives.

You're just like, no, that's gross. Caviar was one for me, and I love being an adult now, and middle class, so I can just be like, yeah, I'm just going to eat it off my hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Oh, yeah, like a caviar dip. Yeah, world's ending.

Oh, my God, delicious. So we don't assume that it goes. There's a company that's like, let's bring back the Tasmanian tiger. So we don't assume that it goes. There's a company that's like let's bring back the Tasmanian tiger. It has to be before that. Just to go back to the thing about the leap to the theme park. How do you make money from doing this otherwise? I think

that leap is the only sensible outcome. We have spent so much money making dinosaurs we need to recuperate some of that profit. Yeah, basically. They're just like, we've got this potential skill. What can we do? Can we sell it to people?

No one's going to buy a pet dinosaur. People want to come and ogle them. Even the extinct animals, surely. We could sell a pet dinosaur, but InGen doesn't want to deal with the, like, my child has been eaten. See, this is where they fucked up because they're like, all right, well, what do we do here? Well, let's just try a few other things.

So you want to eat a dinosaur? We got you covered. Promo dino ribs, huh? You want to, like, what do we do here? Well, let's just try a few other things. So you want to eat a dinosaur? We got you covered. Promo dino ribs, eh? You want to, like, own a pet dinosaur? And now I know everyone's balking at, like, owning a raptor. However, you don't own a raptor. You get those tiny dinosaurs that are, like, herbivores. Yeah, are they tiny herbivores?

Yeah, they're tiny herbivores. Because I would love a brachiosaurus. Oh, yeah, those guys rule. Those big, those long necks, they're so dumb, you know? Do you want one of them, like, the Pachycephalosaurus, the guys that just keep head-butting each other? Oh, yeah. Get one of them?

Yeah. In America, it's very legal to own a tiger. You can buy a tiger cub from, like, a Walmart parking lot. So, like, I'm sure you could buy a dino in this universe. So, yeah, actually, maybe Actually, maybe the legality of it is not really an issue. Also, they're doing it off the coast of Costa Rica. What are the legalities there?

Where's Lion? Buy a fucking dinosaur. Off you go. Sick. Thank you. So I guess you've got two branching paths that John Hammond could think of. So step one, basically eat a company that's bringing back, like you said, conservation. They're like, oh, would you want to bring back the dough or whatever yeah he's like i'm buying you up a company that has cloning facilities yeah they're like we are cloning uh animals and everything so

it's like we're cloning you see basic run-of-the-mill animal to be like we're cloning this for various reasons maybe they're trying to be like all right look eating a cow is wrong so what we're going to do is make humane meat yeah and we're just cloning a batch of sheep. And even like with the Tasmanian tiger, people are trying to bring that back, but nobody is going to fund that because people are like, why? There's better things we should fund.

So if you're already in a situation where you're not making money from that and Jon Hammond comes along and he's like, I'll give you the cash. I'll give you the cash to do this if you make me a dinosaur. And then also you should like, hey, hey, so i lost my dog can i got some of his hair can you clone it yeah i'm sure there's a market in it for that or even just hey so i lost my husband yeah i was gonna say what about like my boy got hit by a car john hammond gonna be like yeah all right that takes me back to the question about how many steps there are in between being able to bring back the tiger and then going straight to dinosaurs.

It was just like there were. There's like a lot of seedy shit happening. Like humans is an option. What is the laws in an island off the coast? Well, I was just wondering what's the law about creating life? Is there a legislature there? Yeah. It feels like one of those real tenuous like YouTube copyright things

where it's just like, oh, we just haven't caught up to the technology yet. We've got to legislate. I feel like in the background of Jurassic Park or maybe five years before that, there was John Hammond versus the medical, like a big legal battle where he's like... I guarantee that legal battle was ongoing when he opened the park because that's how this shit works. Nokia were just like, phones are kind of our thing

and Apple was just like, get fucked. That case was going on when the iPhone 7 came out, you know. Oh, that's amazing. Wow. But if you think about it, like we assume John Hammond is an unscrupulous, shady fuck. But like in the movie, Dennis Nedry, Newman from Seinfeld, he's stealing it to give to presumably another company. I love that you would just, let's name two of his character names instead of his real one.

No one knows who Wayne Knight is. Wayne Knight for everyone playing at home. People have got points of reference. Well-respected Wayne Knight. Wayne Knight, who are you talking about? Dennis Nedry. Don't even know. See, Dennis Nedry, I was just like, oh, oh, Newman.

Yeah, Newman from Jurassic Park. Yeah. Basically. But he's stealing that DNA to take to another company. So maybe there's a shadier company who's like, you can make money recloning husbands and wives. There's a shadier company that are probably doing even more. We want to open a rival dinosaur park. We don't have the technology.

We just want to get in on not even the ground floor we want to hijack a business we have no inroads to we're gonna steal this shit and try and manage who the fuck hired him and who had money to pay him to do that job it's also amazing if you assume that cloning technology is something that is only like owned by injured because that means that dennis Nadry arrives at the other company and he's like, I got the dino DNA, and they're like, fucking what can we do with it? What year is it meant to be set?

I think it's 1995 or whenever it came out. That's really funny thinking about that now. It's just like, we don't even have cars right yet. So I just clearly there's probably like they've been lobbying like a lot of congress and that kind of stuff to make it because ethics is a huge problem it's why we don't clone humans yeah yeah but i think even nowadays when we do clone like there was stuff where they made an embryo with exciting stuff but they have to destroy it before it reaches a certain it's like when that russian guy tried to make chimp babies you know human chimp babies there's a guy in soviet russia he's

like i'm making human chimps. And he's like, I'm doing it. And they're like, we don't. Shut that down. And he's like, I was so close. So I think there's like a whole ethics community. So ideally, you want a lot of money to throw at Congress to be lobbying against that to make ethics go like,

get rid of them basically. That's a big overhead there, especially with the helicopter. Which I guess why he's doing it off the coast of Costa Rica. Again, I don't know the laws, the legalities in Costa Rica, but what are they? So hang on, you're saying there currently are laws in 2017 that say please don't clone humans? 100%. There's definitely laws.

There's a name for it as well. There was a legal battle. But it was like to start trying to clone humans. Because there's a whole different fucking kettle of fish. But is that all wrapped up in the whole stem cell research thing? Probably. Yeah, right. Which we have let people do, right?

For the benefits. Ish. Only if you're doing it to cure cancer. Even then, I'd be like like There's probably still people being like That's a life I sound like I want cloning to happen I do I'm a fan

I'm looking forward to getting factory meat Like lab meat Give me a chunk of cow I immediately went to Clone Army Any technology gets ruined by humanity Whatever's good We find a way to fuck it up Just because we're awful

Any new technology tends to be adopted by First the military and then porn So I'm Military first No you're right They're the ones who can afford it They're the ones who produce it Which is why in dinosaur world

sorry jurassic world um yeah the the military are being like we want these raptors to fuck up al-qaeda it's very funny if you assume that like so john hammond is like so wait hang on did like 9-11 happen in when there was dinosaur i mean i know this is maybe a touchy subject but well wait now how about a hang on we're 1995 we're talking full... Oh, I wish I could do that faster. 16 years later. Yeah, so like, because when Jurassic World comes around, they're like, we want these raptors because we're fighting terrorists in the Middle East and they go down in a burrow.

Yeah, that was a plot point. I didn't make this up, did I? No, I think they talk about wanting the dinosaurs to get the... I think you dreamt that. I think you dreamt that post 9-11. Like, I'm pretty sure that was a whole thing. Is that what the military wanted? Yeah, that's why VDs there.

Did they want to ride raptors into the desert? For some reason they're like, God, dudes with guns is just not working. We need clever lizards. Oh, fuck, man. See, that's a great, that's a real Seinfeld today moment of just like drones. We got drones now. Fucking robots. We got dinosaurs. We got the raptors. And it's like, oh,eld Today moment of just drones. We got drones now.

Fucking robots. We're like dinosaurs. We got the raptors. And it's like, oh, we just don't need them. We're good. Oh, fuck. The meaning that Vincent D'Onofrio's character must have had to try and convince people that his IRA upset.

Look, you're wasting how much money on these drones? Waste of time. Waste of resources. Smart lizards, though. Imagine. Did you see Chris Pratt? He can coordinate those guys. He can do it with some clicks and some finger movements. That's pretty neat. Don't you want that on the battlefield? No, we don't. But so if you assume that there was... Oh, we're talking about a different movie now. Sorry, I watched 20 minutes of it on a plane and I was

just like, nah. No, look, I'm with you. I'm sad I watched 20 minutes of it on a plane, and I was just like, no. No, look, I'm with you. I'm sad I watched the whole thing. But if you assume that there was a lengthy legal battle and people being like, don't make dinosaurs, and then John Hammond's like, I won it. I'm going to make a park. Yeah. The fallout from that park, from opening that park to the public,

surely that gets shut down straight away. Well, because in Jurassic Park, it doesn't open. But that's what I mean. If things had gone to plan and he's like, welcome to Jurassic Park, and everyone's like, you can't do that. Shut it down. Well, was this the first park that he made?

Did he have basically the equivalent of a petting zoo back in his home state? He just had dinosaurs just dressed in sheep's clothing. He's basically the equivalent of like a petting zoo back in his home like state. And that's when all the lawyers. He just had dinosaurs just like dressed in sheep's clothing and like bunny ears. It was a fall. One nipped a kid and he's like, Oh, I want to someone animate that for me, please. I know there's animators out there listening. I can't draw for shit. And every time I think of a great cartoon idea, I want to, someone animate that for me, please. I know there's animators out there listening.

I can't draw for shit. And every time I think of a great cartoon, I do. I'm just like, Oh, I'm so frustrated. Can someone draw me a Brachiosaurus in a giraffe outfit? That's what we need.

John Hammond being like, welcome to my zoo. Yeah. Just a giraffe. Move on. Yeah. There has to have been so many stages like of like ABCD versions of 0.1, 0.2,

whatever, before he got to the final Jurassic Park that then fell to shit. You do not start. So what were his other failures? Because think about it. When he starts Jurassic Park, what's he cloning? Dinosaur restaurant. Dinosaur-themed restaurant where they were all dressed as vampires.

Revolving dinosaur-themed restaurant. Because when he opens, he's got T-Rex, like an actual working T-Rex. He's got T-Rex Yep Like an actual Honest to God T-Rex Yeah He's got raptors And then he's also got Shit like You know The

Big long neck motherfuckers And he's got that one That's dying In a pile of shit Or whatever Yeah yeah yeah Triceratops guy Triceratops

So he's got a whole bunch That movie opens with them Shipping dinosaurs to Costa Rica Doesn't it That guy dies He's like They've like got the thing. So they're shipping them from somewhere.

The lab. Oh, I thought it was just- The lab on the- Aren't they just shipping the cow? Oh, yeah, no, I guess. No, I just remember, it's like raining, and they're around a big crate, and one guy's like, ah! No, you're right, they've got a-

That's the raptors. Because in the second one- Yeah, they want to let them out of one thing into another. Is it- Yeah. Yeah. In the second one, where it's like the T-Rex goes to New York. Yeah.

They are shipping it to New York. The T-Rex goes to Washington. Yes. Yeah, that's the one. Sounds like one of those two. Even that, like that's a public relations nightmare. It's amazing that Jurassic World happened in that world. Yes.

Yeah. I think they kind of swept a lot of it under the rug, maybe. It's as amazing as the amount of sequels that happened for that film. Yeah, that's fair. Does anybody even remember the plot of Jurassic Park 3? No. No, I didn't see it. Sam Neill's back, yeah?

Taylor Leone's in it. Fuck, he's not happy about it. William H. Macy, that's the one he's in? There's a little boy. He survived the island. The man he was parachuting with died. Who was that man? Not his dad.

I don't remember why they're together, but here we are. This might be a tangent, but did you notice a real turning point when CGI got too good? Yes. And you were just like, well, there's nothing exciting about this anymore. Like Avengers movies, they open with people punching tanks and you're just like, well, there's no stakes anymore.

It is amazing to watch Jurassic Park 2, which is not a good film, but like the CGI on it, it's nuts. When you watch that T-Rex coming down the street, you're like,

it looks so, I don't know, visceral. It's legit in New York? Yeah. That wasn't Bantam? Wait, yeah, I think it was a model or something

or just an actual dinosaur. I don't know. Hollywood's crazy. So let's try and figure out a timeline here. How boring would that movie be if they were like, we're going to do a movie about bringing dinosaurs to life? I'm like, yeah, so? Yeah, the dinosaurs we got.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, what's the plot though? No, that's it. Is the dinosaur like a detective or something? Yeah, yeah. Is it a police procedural or like? What are we talking about? The other one was a Whoopi Goldberg where she's like got her cops a dinosaur,

like her partners a dinosaur. Yeah, yeah. Isn't she blackmailed into that movie? That's great. She was, I'm pretty sure. I want to see that back-to-back poster. Tonight at nine. So, yeah.

So there has to have clearly been iterations of this before... So it goes, John Hammond eats up an already existing conservation-based cloning complex. It has to be conservation, and then they have to be like, well, conservation, so they're getting government funding for conservation, surely. But they weren't getting much because the cloning places already don't. Or they had to then be like, well, we're going to privatize this. So it's kind of like, yeah, so all right. So we look at it like this.

So it was a government-funded facility to be like, here we are for conservation purposes. We are bringing back the... So we're trying to bring back the thylacine or whatever we're bringing back. So that goes out of... Again, for the purposes of extending life on this planet, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Presumably. Presumably something.

Who knows? But they're like, we're doing this for reasons we don't know. And then a politician comes in power, like, say, a Jeff Kennett, for anyone living in Victoria, and being like, okay, we're going to privatise these and sell them off because we need to up our coffers.

And so then he gets sold to the privatised company. And then we get like, are you missing your dog? And so we get those kind of things. And then we get a whole bunch of them because clearly InGen isn't the only one who are making clones.

Because there's this other shady one that Newman's working for that they're doing something but they're like, nah, we just don't have the dinosaur code. I reckon that's a mobster with a pizza restaurant who's like, yeah, dinosaurs, I can do that. I got all this drug money that I can't funnel it through the pizza shop anymore.

Oh, fuck, yeah, maybe they're just laundering all this money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy shit, maybe it's a really're just laundering all this money Yeah yeah yeah Holy shit Maybe it's a really good Money laundering scheme Are you saying Jurassic Park Is a money laundering scheme? Like maybe Cause

Yeah? How expensive is it to make a dinosaur? You think like a cartel Being like Nah whatever Make this money clean for us So Alright so you got

So you got the government funded They privatised it They privatised the thousand research. You had a bunch of different like cloning tools. InGen buys it. InGen. Clone your dog, clone your wife. Yeah, yeah.

So you've got all these different. Clone your dog, clone your wife. Clone your dog, clone your wife. All these different companies, right? Yeah. And then you only got like John Hammond who's just like, fuck, I love dinosaurs. Yeah, they're the best. So he buys one and being like, I want you to specialize on some dinosaurs.

And he just throws money after money after money at that. And then just by pure luck and happenstance, they get one of the mosquitoes with the blood in it. And like, Eureka, this is for us. All the other companies are like, fuck, dinosaurs. That's the new go-to. That's it. That's what we people want.

That's what the people want. He somehow, because of all the legislation that went on in America, the US, or like the westernized world, they're like, well, we could go somewhere else. Yeah, I'll go off to the coast of Costa Rica. Because I guess that's the most lawless. Yeah? I assume the movie wants us to think so.

I mean, it has to be, yeah? Because otherwise, like, there's got to be laws. It's just, like, so not far enough away. So there are people on Costa Rica being like, that's fucked up. Yeah, yeah. Like, surely it belongs to a country Capri is off the coast of Italy

It's still Italy This is Costa Rica Looking at the island Splash into the ocean What the fuck is that Wait like 10 minutes A plesiosaur just comes up You're at an airport

And a plane lands and you're like, what's on that plane? And then they've got massive crates like, that's weird. This isn't good. At the dock, they're like, is that a T-Rex on that ship? Why is that going on that island? Goes to the island.

Island fucks up. Dennis Nedry dies. Yes. He gets spat on by that. He gets lizarded. Does that kill him? It blinds him and Dennis Nedry dies. Yes. He gets spat on by that. He's lizarded. Does that kill him? It blinds him and then he gets eaten. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So then, interestingly. Or is it kind of like, hey, look, Costa Rica, I've got this really good idea. So, look, we need a lot of cows. So we're going to really be basically booming for your agriculture. And we're going to create a lot of jobs Yeah, absolutely If you let us build a park

It's fucked that that park could have just been populated by Costa Ricans Presumably being paid a pittance by John Hammond I think I believed, watching that film, that he just owned the island You know, like you can buy an island in Malaysia for cheaper than a two-bedroom apartment in Sydney. Not even making up that statistic. That's amazing. That is a mathematical fact. Well.

So in that case, I guess John Hammond just buys the island of Costa Rica. Yeah, right. Because we're talking 1995. We're not talking about a huge property market that's booming the way Sydney was. If you're the only person who can clone things To the degree that we've got to assume John Hammond can Because clearly

You'd get rich that way, surely Oh yeah, maybe he's like Alright, we've got a lot of patents So you want a good sheep, we've got a good sheep There we go He sells it to the other companies that are cloning stuff So maybe he's like Look, I don't really care about the meat industry

But I know that if I sell off my patent for this, then they can use it and we can use it more funnily because I love dinosaurs. So it's got to be about his... It's just got to be like a screw loose there with Hammond to be like, I love these dinosaurs. Sam Neill is very shocked when he sees the big brachiosaurus, but surely that...

If I lived in that world where I knew we were cloning extinct animals, I'd just be like, oh okay They did it That does suggest then that no one else Is doing it, right? Isn't that the point of that? It suggests no one's doing dinosaurs That's true You write, the public know

Feels right up there with that recent Harvey Dent Reacting to the Joker Yeah, exactly It's an odd reaction to have if you're already cool with cloning. Yeah, exactly But Sam Neill, he's a fuddy-duddy, maybe it's like

an old person seeing like a holographic iPhone or something, they're like, I'm already struggling with the iPhone, don't give me a holographic one Sam Neill's like, I'm already stressed out that you cloned my grandpa, now I'm seeing dinosaurs. I'd be way more freaked out about my grandfather reappearing. It's so weird that it wasn't Sam Neill that did it.

It's just like, Sam Neill, check it out. It's your granddad. He's a baby. That's how cloning works. But whatever, here it is. It must be different on Jurassic Park, though, the cloning. It must happen basically instantly. Because you can't come as babies. It must happen basically instantly. Well.

Because you can't come as babies. No, they do. They're eggs. That begs the question, how then do you open a theme park and actually attract people? Wait, do they accelerate the lifespan of a dinosaur? They've got to do. Otherwise, it'd take too long. Because they're just going to wait and those dinosaurs are going to die.

Oh, yeah. Like fucking Gotham. You know what I mean? Nothing about this movie makes any sense. Dinosaurs are extinct for a start. All the other stuff. That's already a fallacy. Something's wrong there.

Because in dinosaurs, in Jurassic universe. You've both done that. In Jurassic world. Complete sincerity. So you've got this, the main scientist, one of the main scientists Being like Look Because we all know

That dinosaurs are feathers That is like fact of life They don't have They're not giant lizards They're basically giant chickens And he was saying to The owner of the park Being like

Look We designed them How you want them Yeah yeah So clearly they were Manipulating the genes From the very start To kind of have the idea

Of what it is That we think a dinosaur Looks like Well imagine this Is that Like is that also of have the idea of what it is that we think a dinosaur looks like. Well, imagine this. Is that also part of the frog thing, making it more reptilian? Yeah. So it's 1995, right? Well, we thought that a dinosaur looked how we all imagine a dinosaur to look.

Yeah. They take the DNA from the mosquito. They inject it somehow into a frog. The frog lays an egg. Out of the egg comes a big chicken dinosaur. And everybody's like, no one will come to see this. So they just quickly, they just drown that. Shit. And they start again and be like, all right,

we'll just take the gene from that, the gene from this, and make it more scaly. It is amazing to imagine John Hammond being like, welcome, this is how we make the dinosaurs. And there's just like a line of frogs shitting out eggs. So how many are just being like, what the fuck? And in the background, just a couple of scientists just drowning the chicken-looking ones.

Sometimes they come out as chickens. Nobody wants to see that. Oh, God, there's just so much Krieger in that. Oh, it's so creepy. So I feel what came before, it has to have been, it needs to have been something that was like for good that they then just privatised and ruined. Hang on, why?

I mean, where's this faith in humanity coming from? I just would assume that it has to be like, all right, why are we doing cloning? Well, you've basically got two options. Either you've got some crazy person being like, I'm cloning people to kill or fuck. And John Hammond's like, I'll take that company. Or you've got someone being like, we're cloning thalassines

because we want to conserve. Or just, hey, we're making artificial hearts. What you said before about the military being the first to invest in anything to create stuff.

It's like, world wars give us refrigerators and microwaves. Like, drones. Drones have cool purposes now, but they were built to be killing machines.

So is the idea that the military's like, hey, this is a fun thing we're fiddling with, cloning. John Hammond's like, well, you know. All right, so the military here are like, all right, so we've got a very large military and we need food sources.

Yeah. So they start cloning for food sources, yeah? Yeah, yeah. And then from there, then it stems out to like, well, hey, if we can clone it, look, if you fuck a sheep, that's wrong, but a clone sheep, that's A-OK. There's no laws about that.

Laws immediately get written about that. So it's like, damn, all right, now what do we do with all these sheep we cloned? You can't eat clone sheep. You can't fuck any of the things. Leave the sheep alone. All right, Mr. Congressman, what if I put a human wang on this sheep? Please leave Congress. What if it's like, so throughout all of the Jurassic films,

the military is basically trying to get back. Well, they're trying to get the technology. What if it's like originally a military technology? John Hammond's like, I'll develop it for you, and I'll get you dino soldiers. And they're like, mad. John Hammond does it. And he's like, no, no, no. I want to keep. He's like I'll develop it for you and I'll get you dino soldiers and they're like mad John Hammond does it and he's like

no no no I want to keep Tecosta everyone and so then the military are like I know who's the best job for this

Newman from Seinfeld yeah that's true that doesn't matter why would you put him in there he needed someone corruptible

he's a great hacker he hacks the whole system Newman from Seinfeld go in there and hack some stuff because we need these military secrets back with us. Yeah. I think that's a decent theory. It's very weird that the only people going to Jurassic whatever in the second one are poachers.

They're not the military. They're poachers. Yeah, they are. Which is like, well, again. What, they're just rogue hunters? Yeah, I are. Which is like, well, again. What, they're just rogue hunters? Yeah, I think so. Is it to do with that, like, just, you know, way too much military spending?

This is just like a line in a column that people have forgotten about. And so, like, someone who's like a grunt there doing the paperwork being like, there's a dino, what? A dinosaur. Excuse me? Hang on, let's just follow back these accounts. Oh, my God, they're cloning dinosaurs. There's an island that's...

Dinosaurs? And then he calls up his buddy and he's like, I've got a helicopter, let's go. Let's go, let's take them. So does that mean in that world that it's just common knowledge that there's an island full of dinosaurs, that everyone's just like, yeah, that's the dark place, wherever the shadow touches, don't go there.

I'm curious to see how much does the world know about the dinosaur cloning. I don't think heaps, because in the second one, there's that scene where Jeff Goldblum's on the train. Someone's like, and pretends to be a dinosaur at him. To be like, yeah, like you went to a dinosaur island, you fucking dickers. Oh, who plays that role?

I want to know who's got that on their CV. I spook to Jeff Goldblum. Because, yeah, Park was not released Oh, who plays that role? I want to know who's got that on their CV. I spooked Jeff Goldblum. Because, yeah, Park was not released to the wider public, so everyone could be like, you know, there's a myth. Did you hear about, there was like an island off the coast of Costa Rica. There are conspiracy websites. Yeah, yeah, yeah, bullshit. People are like, holy shit, why is this island blacked out on Google Maps?

No, no, no, that seems like, so I know this photographer who loves going to abandoned places, and that's a whole subculture on the internet. Absolutely. I mean, it's right up there with abandoned places, except instead of abandoned, it's infested with ancient legends. So there'd be rumors and conspiracy theories. Look at all the disappearances around this island.

We don't know what's happened. Sightings of, like, you know, a giant plesiosaur. Nah, nah, nah, bullshit and lies. So I reckon by then you've probably got people being like, whatever. Then, however, you've got a Tyrannosaurus rex roaming the streets of New York. Which, if that's a military secret, the military are going to be like, there you go. Hard to squish.

God, how much would the military bloody love those men in black things? Oh, it'd be great for them. Just be like, zap. Forget the dinosaur. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, did they trap that dinosaur in the bay? Or am I thinking of the American Godzilla remake from 1999? They like get it onto a bridge and push it in the bay?

No, it doesn't, no, the, oh wait, 99, not the Not the most recent one with Bryan Cranston No, not the Bryan Cranston What's his face? Because Bryan Cranston one has Mothra Mothra? Isn't it Mothra? I don't think it's Mothra

What's that thing that comes out? The MUTOs? The what? The weird mutant creatures?. Mothra? Isn't it Mothra? I don't think it's Mothra. What's that thing that comes out? Muto's? They're like weird mutant creatures? Those Muto's? All they were doing was trying to build a family and eat nuclear waste. Then Godzilla kills them like a jerk. Yeah. That movie.

Because I don't think Mothra's in that because they're like Mothra's coming in the next one. Mothra's on his way when Godzilla and King Kong fucking rumble in the jungle. Hell in a cell. Pay enough attention to this film. It's coming. But if they've, what I mean, what I was going to ask is, is somebody salvaging that T-Rex when they drop it in the bay or whatever they do with it, who's taking it and to where?

Meat for the military. Meat for the military. Wasn't that the point of it? And to where? Meat for the military. Meat for the military. Wasn't that the point of it? Yeah. Right? I mean, you think, like, what's, you know, surely a giant T-Rex is going to feed a lot of, like, gruntmen. Yeah, but just breed a big cow.

McDonald's might have outbid them, snapped frozen it like they did with all those rats back in 98. What? It was a thing, wasn't it? Was it? Nah, it was probably just a left-wing conspiracy. Oh, man. I really like that the rise and fall of Jurassic Park is like,

it is a rise and fall. Yeah. It fails at the end to the point where I don't think anybody would want the, like Jurassic Park is a testament to how unnecessary and just dangerous that is as a technology. Yeah, and also a thing that I'm sure many people would have said and known the second that it was like, I'm going to open a park full of dinosaurs.

Don't do that. That was the first advice he got. Please don't do that. Some people are like, no, no, no, no, no. I remember getting this motivational speaker at primary school and amongst other things he said that I've forgotten, he told us about how Colonel Sanders Went like he pitched KFC To like hundreds of investors

Before one person said yeah okay And that to me was like Yeah hundreds of people Don't want Yeah but they said the sensible thing And were like no we're good We don't want that And now look what we got KFC

That's true Jurassic Park is probably similar. So he would have had to have gone through so many people like, what about this? No. How about this? Because even if the military gets it, like we said, what are they going to do with it?

Yeah, maybe feed their soldiers. Well, again, you go back to Jurassic World. The point there is that I'm pretty sure they're trying to get Al-Khash. I'm like 90% sure guys. I'm not making this up. I didn't realise we'd skipped over that. I've been tuning in and out to be honest. It's just my MO. I don't know. I guess I'm on the ADD spectrum as well. So many spectrums to be on now. It's a lot. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I didn't realise we're talking about a different film. Like, again, this is a Google away. Like, we don't have to sit here debating about this. They're like, it's the same. We don't know it's the same company. Al-Qaeda? So Dinosaur. I think they're trying to get Al-Qaeda.

Yeah, they're trying to get Al-Qaeda. They're being like, look, we're funding this park so that we get the military training from Chris Pratt. Yes. Yeah. Chris Pratt has become the king velociraptor by doing clicks and whistles, but if there's a bigger

velociraptor, Chris Pratt is initiated. Yeah. So basically it's a weird dinosaur arm race. You know what, having said that, the moment Al-Qaeda gets dinosaurs, that's just dinosaurs fighting dinosaurs. The loss of life has decreased dramatically. Maybe I'm pro-d dinosaurs fighting dinosaurs. The loss of life has decreased dramatically. Maybe I'm pro-dinosaur war.

Imagine instead of a tank being bombarded with missiles, it's like a big ankylosaurus getting pterodactyls hassling it. It's just that some of those pterodactyls work for ISIS. How would that look any different to a dogfight? It would be two sides standing. But you're not riding them into battle. Yeah. You're just going, get them. And then you just watch them fight. And

surely they'd just be so distracted by that that they'd forget what they were fighting about and then world peace would come. Also, isn't it like a thing? And like, maybe I don't know. Also, I think if you're like a religious fighter and you just see in like the late 2000s, someone in like a field just and you just see in like the late 2000s someone in like a field just get taken by a T-Rex

and then another giant lizard comes in and hits that T-Rex, all bets are off. What world am I living in? End of days, ladies and gentlemen. Here we are. We've arrived. I just, I think I'd like to live in a world with a dinosaur war. It seems all right, you know?

It seems nice. I mean, I think I'd like to live in a world with a dinosaur war Seems alright, you know? Seems nice I mean, I guess In terms of like, people aren't dying as much It's just dinosaurs dying I just don't understand Hey, yeah Say, growing a group of raptors and training it All the resources that goes into that, right?

Yeah And say, okay, so plan works So we're gonna get some Al-Qaeda With our raptors We did it So we're gonna send in a lad And he's got like, say, a, so plan works So we're going to get some Al-Qaeda With our raptors, we did it So we're going to send in a lad And he's got like say a group of five raptors And so think about the time and effort Going to train each one of those raptors

So you get the cloning it, the growing it And the training and then shipping and all that kind of stuff So they go into the tunnels One gets shot, right? One raptor That's a lot of waste of money Or the guy gets shot. That was the king of these guys. So now we've just got five loose raptors.

Shit. So that versus ten drones we've built. Yeah. That we hired Dan down the street to build in his garage. I can't picture... Okay, so the reason the justification for having raptors that you can sick onto an opposing

army is Chris Pratt with his clicks and snaps and stuff. Yeah. Like how does that work in a warfare scenario? They are going to spin around and eat the first living thing they see. And like, will they be able to hear him shells dropping everywhere? He's like, no dinosaurs will rule the world again.

Also like in a war, is it the prerogative to just kill every member of the opposing army that you see? That feels like a real sword and sandals style battle. Yeah. Like, I don't think that's how modern wars. Modern warfare, there was a lot of POWs. Yeah. I don't know what they do now. But, like, I mean.

Yeah. Well, with drones. War now doesn't end. Yeah. Yeah. But like, I mean, yeah. Well, with drones. War now doesn't end. Yeah. Yeah, it just rages on for decades. But I just can't imagine being like, oh, we know that there are some, I don't know, some Al-Qaeda in that building. Send the Raptors in.

And then you go in and you're like, well, the Raptors killed them and we learned nothing. Is it like a fear technique, right? Because people can be like, look, our whole military force is bigger and better than you. We got the bomb, okay? We can just nuke the shit out of you, right? Yeah, yeah.

That is a very foreign concept. You drop something, it vaporizes, okay, whatever. That's kind of, what? Or it's like, look, we have a giant lizard that will rip your throat out. This will just eat you. That I can kind of like, nah, nah. My lizard brain is like, yeah, I get it. I get it.

That is a thing that I should be fearful of. And I can picture an arms race getting started where it's of like, nah, nah, my lizard brain is like, yeah, I get it, I get it, that is a thing that I should be fearful of. And I can picture an arms race getting started where it's just like, well, North Korea's only got 30 T-Rexes, but the US has 6,800 T-Rexes. I just imagine we'll enter a Jurassic Cold War where they're like, you sick of T-Rex on us, we'll sick of T-Rex on you. Yeah, yeah, and there's just like dinosaur silos, so you can just drive down highways where there's just barren land. That's where they'll release the T-Rex.

There's all these silos and all you hear is... No, I picture them just hanging out like they're in stocks. They've got a feed bag in front of them or whatever and they're just kind of chatting. Sorry, for the podcast listeners who can't see me right now, I've got my arms up like I'm a human with normal proportioned arms, but it would be more like that. A little teeny arms.

Yeah, a little teeny arms. They'd just be linked by like a little bit of chain. Oh, that's so good. It's really sad that InGen is instead of being like, let's clone the dangerous dinosaurs and make a park, they're not like, well, Brachiosaurus is massive, it's a lot of meat and it's a lot of labour. You know what I mean?

It's such a big park. It's a lot of meat and it's a lot of labor. You know what I mean? It's such a big park. It's a huge park. The Brachiosaurus enclosure, that's, oh, my God. Several paddocks. Well, my beef has always been with Jurassic Park, the fact that you go on that one track on the car and there's only like a 50% chance you'll actually see a dinosaur. We might have covered this, and I don't know if it's a movie.

Do they have to clone, do they have to bring back to life ancient plants and stuff for them to eat you? They never talk about it. They just feed a T-Rex a goat, and I don't know if that's good. Yeah, no, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't feed dogs. That's the other thing I was thinking.

Surely you'd clone more dinosaurs to feed the other dinosaurs. Yeah, that would make sense. You're like, well, what did a T-Rex eat? You know, let's do that. But... No, that'd be, oh, like, which ones do you make the favorites? Because they all would have just eaten each other, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how do you go to one enclosure and be like, check it out, look at

this awesome Diplodocus. Now it's gonna die when you move over to the T-Rex enclosure. Now you're gonna see the one you just saw get torn apart. Neat. I'm learning. And it's been pointed out by people on the internet before, but all of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park,

like very few of them came from the Jurassic period. They're all from vastly different time periods, which kind of leads me to believe that when they pull out of the mosquito, they're just kind of rolling dice. Yeah. It's not like, oh, we're trying to get a T-Rex. They're like, we got a T-Rex. That's lucky.

Cool. This mosquito's got T-Rex in it. Let's hope we find some others. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I don't care about that title thing. No, not fair. No, but I mean, like, dinosaurs live through, it's just a catchy name. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no, hey, look, it's good marketing. I'm sure, like, I'm not even talking to the marketing department because that had to be a conversation oh my god of course because again john hammond's not gonna be there their advice was please don't do this there's no way we can sell no no jurassic what is jurassic called like dino island is that no no hang on has that become a no prehistoric would be yeah the right, right? Yeah, that would be the thing to go. Prehistoric park. Yeah. Because then you're like, oh, prehistoric.

Jurassic, not everybody knows Jurassic. I don't think if Jurassic Park, the movie, had ever come out, then your general John Q, Jane Q public would know what it meant. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I realise how privileged, for want of a better word, I am. Knowing the word Jurassic. Yeah, for just associating that with dinosaurs.

We'd have nothing. You'd be called Jurassic Park and you'd be like, I don't know what that is. Is it like an umbrella term, the way classical music is? Maybe. Classical just means anything with strings in it now. Now, because of John Hammond's amazing marketing. Maybe.

Yeah, I mean, like it worked. Yeah. Tell you what, it's effective. All these things had to, there's so much involved in making this park Even the person that they had to hire to design the logo Somebody had to sit down and be like So what are we doing? Okay, it's a park full of dinosaurs

How about this? I got this idea What kind of subterfuge do you reckon he would have been involved in If he had to pretend it wasn't Just like if he's dressing up as dinosaurs What does he say? He's like, crocodile skeletons. Yeah, that's what, make it look like that.

It's a park full of fossils. Yeah, why do you need all these cows? Fast food franchise. Yeah. I think I'm starting it on this island. Yeah. Yeah. It's just easier this way.

Yeah, yeah. No competition. Would you go to a park that the logo is, so say it's the zoo, the local, like the Melbourne Zoo, and they come to the Melbourne Zoo and you see like Melbourne Zoo and there's a big logo of a skeleton, like the giraffe skeleton?

I would imagine I was about to go to a spooky zoo. So why would they do that for Jurassic Park? Well, I suppose that's because you're like, what is everybody's context for dinosaurs now? Yeah, it's the's because you're like, what is everybody's context for dinosaurs now? Yeah, it's the only way you've ever seen them. It's bones. It's still weird.

Yeah, I think you've got a good point. It's like if you want to sell the fact that this has living dinosaurs, you should probably show that they are distinct from the dinosaurs that you know. I really like that if it had all gone through and Sam Neill would be like, Mad Park, fucking go for it, that the ad on TV would have just been John Hammond with a real dinosaur being like, Ah, ah, back to the park. And you'd be like, mad park, fucking go for it. The ad on TV would have just been John Hammond with a real dinosaur being like, ah, ah, ah, fuck.

That's the whole ad. That's it. No branding, no nothing. It's just like, look, and just like a phone number flashing on the screen. You're like, I want to find out what that's about. Yeah, yeah. People call it up and then immediately you've got two tickets. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Take my credit card details. Sweet. Was that a real dinosaur? Fucking was. Oh, my God. I know. I think the idea of John Hammond being very bad in front of a camera. Hi, hello.

Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock. Would you like to come see dinosaurs? We have them. We have dinosaurs. You'd like to come into, we have a paddock. There's a big one. John, smile. I'm smiling. we have a paddock. There's a big one. John, smile. Ah, I'm smiling.

Come to the paddock. Call 1-800-44-888. I like that Jurassic Park is a 1-800 number. That's funny. So I suppose, what did InGen do before InGen was InGen? Nothing. They don't really exist as a company. They exist as like a predatorial company

to eat other companies really injan is only a catchy name the technology and all of the like infrastructure is another company that they just consume has to come from either the military or some kind of government branch it's quite sad it's kind of like capitalism eating conservation you know what i mean you're like we're doing a great thing we're bringing back the oh no we're making murder machines dang it just just bringing it back to real world yeah i could see tesla doing this it seems like just alleyway i just reckon like if they if they win the energy wars that are going on right now if they like conquer it and then we get the minority report future that we've been promised fingers crossed i can picture him just being like and now we're

doing dinosaurs it is a thing that you know it sounds ridiculous but in my lifetime it almost wouldn't surprise me not in the grand dinosaur you know kind of jurassic park way we see in the movies just in like a hey we brought back this tiny shitty chicken dinosaur, and you're like, that's fucking neat. Well done, us, and then I die. Yeah, I'm like 99 in this time. I don't get to hit 100, I guess. 99, that's all right.

You just see yourself as that unlucky. Yeah, that's lucky. Nobody here in Sandspans gives me any older than 60, so I'll take 99. And on that note, I've been Jackson Bailey. I've been Joel. You've been listening to Benny Davis. Do you have anything you want to plug or spruik?

Nah, I'm moving to Singapore, putting my feet up. That's good. You're buying an island? Yeah. Bought an island. Wife's on it now. Cloning dinosaurs. I'm going to move in. Open a theme an island. Wife's on it now. Cloning dinosaurs. I'm going to move in.

Open a theme park there. Well, that's fucking great. Try it and test it. It works. Thanks for listening. And if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can find us at Sandspants Radio, or you can find us individually.

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Thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time Goodnight for now. But not forever Kisses