Plumbing the Death Star - What Did We Think of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them? (feat. Adam and Ryder)

Episode Date: November 16, 2016

In which our heroes really do not want to stay up later than they absolutely have to so they're doing all this as fast as they can. Jackson has issues with the ending, Joel will have to do all the editing, Adam downs half a bottle of schnapps and Ryder just fucking loved those Beasts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone! So usually we start with something a little different than what you just heard But tonight unfortunately there's not going to be any editing of this episode Because Joel Zammett has decided to take a holiday And I have been left in charge Which is not a great move I haven't even tested levels This could sound like garbage

Your voice has gone croaky within the last not like minute You started talking and it was croaky It's 3.51am And this is Plumbing the Death Star. So, Sandspence Radio, fuck me, I'm tired. Boop! Boop! Boop! Hey everyone and welcome to a very special midweek, midnight-ish, very late edition of Plumbing the Death Star. Midnight-ish, very late edition of Plumbing the Death Star. Midnight-ish, 4am. 4am.

Yeah. Where we ask important questions like, holy shit. Holy shit, the levels are real high. I might have to fix that. There will be some post we can even that out. Yeah, it's fine. I'm going to fix that right now.

All right. Here you go, ladies and gentlemen. Already off to what a start jesus christ the train has left the station and the first corner has just where we ask the important questions like what did we think of fantastic beasts and now do we know where to find them yes we do new york wait wait wait just to make everyone clear this will have full spoilers yep it might say it in the title if i remember to say that if not this is your warning spoilers we're gonna talk about everything in the film yep i'm still real loud it's fine do we do the music ourselves oh yeah okay I don't remember the music

of the movie, but it was good. No, but it wasn't quite Harry Potter music. It was like... A little bit of it was Harry Potter. It was like there was transition Harry Potter music

to be like, get ready, it's Harry Potter. Yeah, to get you back in that. Get back in the Harry Potter groove. Oh, hang on. No, we're good. We got it.

I think I have it. Got what? Wait, no, this is We got it. I think I have it. Got what? Wait, no, this is an ad for Adele. This is fine. You can't put that in. Just sue. So, yeah, I went to go get the music, but unfortunately, we just got an Adele. We got Adele.

That'll have to do you for the mo. So, I was real happy with it. Out of blast. It was good. I thought it was fun. Yeah. It was like- More lighthearted than the old HP.

Well, it would be lighthearted and then just really dark. It would be like, oh, Newt Scamander's got- It looks like a little invisible yeti. And now someone's getting beaten with their own belt. Like, just out of nowhere, here it is. Fucking main characters get stuck in a briefcase. Oh, and now death potion.

The death sentence. American wizards, they have the death sentence. Look at happy memories while we kill you. Fuck, that was heavy. That was elaborate. A simple Vatacadao would have done the job. That's an unforgivable curse. Can't do that.

Can't do that. Drop him in a potion of poison. What I thought was weird. So there's a scene where Newt Scamander and... Gerald. Gerald. Jacob. No, the girl.

Mary. Mary? Sue. True. Who are we talking about? The lady. The lady aura Goldstein

Anyway, where Newt and Goldstein Are going to be killed Because they know wizard secrets And the bad guy is like Do it here, and then his two henchmen Have put wands to their heads And I was like, oh they're just going to Avada Kedavra them, and then in the next scene They're getting put in like heads. And I was like, oh, they're just going to Avada Kedavra them. Then in the next scene,

they're getting put in a potion. So I was like... No, no, but it was before they went in and did the pensive thing. It was like a threat, like the way you'd hold a gun to someone. Yeah, yeah, I think that was just to get them to comply. They do that in Harry Potter. Really? Yeah. It's like the thing, they do that.

Remember, he does it to Dudley, and Dudley's like, fuck. And all Dudley's friends are like Just a stick mate Dudley's like nah fuck this shit I'm gonna die Also I think I fixed the levels on the fly That's good, it'll do It's definitely not peaking all the time now

That's a plus I checked and it's good enough Yeah good I just want to point out that as we started 3 out of 4 of our mics have peaked in this episode I'm peaking all the time now. That's a plus. I've checked and it's good enough. All right. Anyway. Yeah, good. Yeah. So I just want to point out that as we started, three out of four of our mics have peaked in this episode. We've been talking for like three minutes. That's fine.

Anyway. The people weren't expecting quality. There's a program that evens it out. It's four in the morning. It is. What does peaked mean? It's like when it gets too high. Too high?

Yeah. You listen to music, or someone talking, and it's like... Oh, yeah. It's not good. We can explain it. I can explain it to you if you want. Do you want to know?

Full detail. All right. So, once something gets so loud, it can only... Pass me the tissues. I need to cry. There's nothing. They're empty.

Fuck. Watch the snaps Alcohol Um Yeah so You know what I just realised I can't actually explain it If something gets too loud

It starts clipping I thought I did fine If music was too high That was fine Yeah yeah Anyway This movie is a lot more light hearted But also a lot more like

Adult Dark Maybe Oh yeah I don't think Well adult in a sense That kids wouldn't understand what's going on.

Yeah. Not adult as in dark things. Not adult as in either pornographic or dark. Well, I think it was both. It was dark and it was very adult. Yeah. Dark and pornographic.

Well, like the interaction between old mate. What's the nomad? Norm? Norm? Jacob? Kowalski Or whatever his name is

Jacob And Queenie Yeah Their first interaction Felt almost a little awkward For the first time That thing's ever happened

In like a Harry Potter movie It was really weird Wasn't it Yeah Whose Jacob And his loving They walk in on Queenie

She's wearing nothing But her lingerie Or whatever Her negligee Yeah her negligee And then she gets dressed. It's a very sensual scene. But it was, I don't know, the whole thing was odd. Those two characters I don't think were terribly fleshed out.

I didn't ship. No, I didn't ship either. Queenie I don't know about, but like Kowalski I think was fairly good. Yeah, Kowalski was, but like Goldstein. Oh, Goldstein? I think they hinted at a lot but never like went into it yeah i agree what's that climbing the wall i don't know it's a bug it's just a mosquito it's a bad luck for all of us got us good um i'm starting to get hay fever when it's four in the

morning this sucks do you want me to go get something for you no because we're recording an episode um we can't get that off the rails. All right, all right, all right. Let's do this properly. Okay, first thing, things we really liked. Oh, yeah. We got a structure to this. We just always forget we do. All the weird creatures that, like, didn't really make sense.

Ryder, you go. What are the things you like? Give us your top three. I liked the weird tiger thing The weird bird thing And the weird leaf stick insect thing Yeah that was cute I don't know what they were for The bowtruckle

I think the stick insect thing They picked locks Yeah that was their deal They just picked locks And the valuable All of the monsters were pretty cool The beasts Definitely

They were pretty fantastic That part of the film That part of the title did not lie. There was no misleading there. There was fantastic. No snitch catching though. No snitch catching. Which was something we predicted.

Yeah. I thought there'd be like a snitch. You know the bird? They didn't even mention Quidditch. Yeah, it was not one mention of Quidditch. They mentioned it in the opening credits, which were real weird. The opening credits were just newspapers flashing. I like that it was not necessarily opening credits.

It was more just setting the scene. Yeah, it's weird. One of the news titles was, is soccer the new Quidditch? Yeah, I saw that. What? What is wizard soccer that they're like, that's like our broomstick flying golden ball game? It's like they had, you know, quit it to like, yeah, flying broomsticks, catching all these

balls, and I'm like, what is this amazing sport? They're kicking the balls. What? Doucher's just going catatonic for a moment. Yeah, I'm trying really hard not to sneeze. Just sneeze. No. Do it. Just go for it. No, I can't, because the problem is

if I sneeze, first of all, we're out of tissues. Second of all, if I sneeze, I'm not going to stop. Where are you going to get them from, Adam? I don't find them. They're here somewhere. They're not, because I just use the last one. Anyway. What else did you like, Rads? Oh, I don't even know. I don't remember anything. So, beasts. You just like the beasts. And you don't remember anything else. Yeah, I liked, um,

uh, just, just all the, I don't know, I like seeing the wands, seeing their wands, because all w... I don't know. I like seeing the wands, seeing their wands. Because all wands are different. There's no two wands alive. I did not pay attention to the wands at all. Ditto, ditto.

Tell us. Tell us what the people's wands were. Well, I only noticed his. What was it? It was pretty average, actually. It was like a brown handle and then a sort of white semi-spiral up the top. That's still pretty... Like, that's neat.

Yeah. I can't detect it, you know, like, what's in it and stuff. Like a unicorn. You can't give us, like, unicorn. Griffin Core. I'd be frankly surprised if you could. I don't remember any, yeah, I don't remember anybody else's wand. Did we see Queenie's wand ever?

I don't think we did. When did she do magic? She just did her mind reading, that's all. Yeah. Or one of the ministry people, the one that were sentencing them to death, she had a cool wand. It had like a face on the end of it. Did you see that?

What? No, I did not. Yeah, it was like completely carved out of a single bit of wood and it had a face down the bottom. That's so cool. It fell into the potion and burnt. I remember that I was confused about that scene

So when they dropped the wand in Is that when it went all crazy? Or was it just going crazy anyway? I think it was just fiending for some people I was confused Something happened to the potion when the wand fell in Also what was Goldstein's relationship To whatever his name is

Evil smoke wizard I think they lived in the same building Also, what was Goldstein's relationship to whatever his name is? Evil Smoke Wizard? I think they lived in the same building. Oh, really? I thought she... No, she... Yeah, no. She, for some reason, encountered him being abused and saved him from being abused. And that's why she's no longer an Aurora.

Aurora. Whatever you want to call him. Some of the stuff in this film i was just not clear on kind of what was going on i felt a little like that as well yeah it's hard to say if that's the film's fault or if it's asked for watching the movie at 12 o'clock at night i mean yeah no i felt like i felt like it was rushed it felt like one of the regular harry potter movies where it's just uh scene next scene next scene next scene we got to like quickly get through this because we got a lot of ground to cover

the movie jumped like literally right in like the opening scene of the trailers we get where Newt's getting off the boat that's the opening scene basically after a like, oh no, something blew up the building and we're wizard cops fuck wizard cops there's no establishing

for example, do you know at one point they're like oh where would this animal go it likes planes blah blah oh central park that's where the animal would go and then when they're looking for the animal they're in the zoo that zoo is in central park but they never established that yeah i guess followed the animals yeah well you see the lion when they're doing the whole breaking into the jewelry shop and you're like what's that lion doing out and then i think that's just confusing to be honest no because the next scene has an ostrich in it yeah you understand well i i don't know like i know there's a zoo in central park yes i've seen the film madagascar so a classic i know a thing or two about the zoos

in central park so i don't know i was just like oh they're going to the zoo i just feel they don't do enough like i feel like they once again rushing the zoo. I just feel they don't do enough, like... I feel like they're, once again, rushing for some reason, which is weird. Hey, so you remember the scene where there's the kids on the ice skates on the lake? Yeah. And there's that weird... Oh, I know what you're about to say. What was that? Yeah. That was the rhino. That was the

rhino underwater. I think so. Oh, it's thing... Yeah, no, because its head glows and whatever was underwater was glowing. What was it doing underwater? It was just under the ice. Yeah, but why? Looking for a mate. Or, you're really horny, you get a cold shower.

Trying to just cool that libido. Anything else you liked about it, Ryan? I can't even think, I don't know. Wands of beasts. The wands, yeah. I liked how practical America was with its magic there was none of this like garbage ceremony they would not stand for the goblet of fire in america like american wizards if harry's name came out at livermony or whatever their school they would have put him into poison or something. Even like to get to the Ministry of Magic

in London, you have to go through so many weird doors and shit. This one's just like through the front door of this building. It's like, it's fine. The muggles don't know. You don't have to go down a toilet to an alleyway. Or like tell the guy you're a wizard out front and he'll let you in. Exactly.

It was just so much more simple. It seemed like there was so much more practice. Like, I don't know what the ministry does in Britain. The ministry here is, like, they make sure that the muggos don't, you know, find out what's going on. Which they do a terrible job of. Muggos is what we here at Sandspancer's Hume Australians call muggles.

Right. Because it makes sense, right? Like, muggles is like the British thing, and then when we come over here, it slowly, as it gets hotter. Them bloody muggles. Like, muggles. Muggers. Muggers. like the British thing, and then when we come over here, it's slowly, as it gets hotter. Them bloody muggles. Like muggles. Muggles. Muggles. As it gets hotter, we get drunker.

Muggles. Which is apparently where a lot of Australian slang came from. Yeah. Oh, just the Australian accent, isn't it? Drunk slurs. Yeah, it's how you speak when you're drunk. That's mad. Well, there you go.

So, yeah, that seemed like what the American ministry did, is just like, ah, stop the muggles finding out. And that's man well there you go so yeah that seemed like what the american ministry did is just like ah stop the muggos finding out and that's pretty good um i also liked all of their like um they had like you know like i don't know in in in british wizard world everything's kind of just like magic but it's all like spells and this was like we got magic machines but they're still machines you know what i mean we've still got like pipes i feel like that was more an aesthetic choice than saying anything about the world i think it still gives you like an idea of how and you know they keep making all these like welcome to america the world of innovation we've got a radio whoo there's like a whole bit about that do they when do they yeah when at the when it's the first because in this film there are evil muggles that want to stop witches, which is mad.

Oh yeah, there's an evil cult. That's real weird. The Second Salem? Yeah, Second Salem is their cult. Second Coming of Salem, I think. From what I saw, it seems like there's just that one girl in the cult. Yeah, there are a couple of people. But her children fucking hate it. They're like, fuck this. Children are getting fed. I don't think they care. They her children fucking hate it. They're like, fuck this. Children are getting fed.

I don't think they care. They weren't happy about it. That one kid's like, am I a witch? I got a witch's mark. And she's like, no, you're right. They just want to get fed. True. But then one of them turns out to be a real bad wizard.

Yeah, the villain of this is a wizard that suppressed his powers. Is he even the villain, though? Is there a villain? No, there isn't. Well, it's like definitely a villain. The conflict I guess. Colin Farrell slash Johnny Depp slash that weird Ezra Miller. Colin Farrell

is Johnny Depp. Yeah that's a good twist. Spoilers! And he's a bear. Oh Johnny Depp does not look like a good villain. Like I said immediately after he looks very much like his character in Mordecai. And even though I haven't seen Mordecai, I find it so distracting.

Yeah, nah, fair. It does not bode well. It's not a good look for him, to be honest. I don't know why anyone would put Johnny Depp in this. Yeah, Johnny Depp. No one wanted it. Yeah, like Johnny Depp was just like, I mean, I don't really want this. Is it all right? But I will.

If you think, okay, if you had to name list serious actors that could play a British role. Johnny Depp's not at the top. Is he on the list? No. And I wonder, like, honestly, why? Were they like the star power of Johnny Depp? Does he have that? I think they were probably just going for like that weird-ass vibe

because he gives off a weird vibe. He does. Johnny Depp gives off a weird vibe. And it's a weird, creepy vibe these days. You know who would have made a good Grindelwald? Colin Farrell. Yeah. Yes.

Very much so. God, that's ridiculous. But it's true. He would have been perfect. Wouldn't it be funny? Because, yeah, at the end of the film, Newt Scamander realizes that Grindelwald is fucking... No, sorry, that Colin Farrell's character is Grindelwald

and he does like a reveal. Yeah, he does like a revealing. Turns into Johnny Depp. He's actually Grindelwald. He's been Grindelwald. Johnny Depp gets imprisoned by a magic vine. It's very comical. Everyone laughs and claps.

Then Johnny Depp, as he's getting taken away, whispers something like, we all die twice or something. No, how do we... It was hard to hear. It seemed like it was half of a sentence. Like there was a bit missing. As he was walking up the steps, he was saying it.

Isn't it we all die a little bit? Yeah, we all die a little he was saying it. Isn't it we all die a little bit? Something like that. Yeah, we all die a little bit, something like that. How do we all die a little bit? I don't know. Whatever it was, it was unclear. A line that will not matter until the next time he's on screen. Yeah.

What else did I like? I liked all the monster designs like Ryder. There was a little platypus that stole money and he was my favourite. He was so cute. He was so chill. He was just like somehow. Just liked it. Just wanted it. He just wanted the money.

It wasn't even money. It was just shiny, nice things. He was very like, as much as he had a lot of personality, he still felt a lot like an animal, and I liked that. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I liked when Newt was just shaking him to get all the coins out. Yeah.

He did that so many times in the movie times what a rascal that little fellow oh when he's in the window trying to look like he belongs god oh so cute so good he was my favorite of the creatures i reckon although i did like the little yeti that i hated the yeti did you know hot fact i forget what that yeti thing is called But invisibility cloaks Are made of their hair Oh that's right But then also There's only one invisibility cloak Because they sort of

Shot themselves in the foot there Yeah The one invisibility cloak That Harry Potter uses Is a special one Yeah One of the Deathly Hallows But then

Bless you a million times Do show But then other basic Really like Your run of the mill Yeah So you canmill invisibility. So you can buy invisibility cloaks. I guess so. But Harry has a

special one that was from Death's Cloak, apparently. Yeah, even though, like, what's the difference? Is there a difference? It fades over time. Oh! It eventually wears away. And I think that Harry's one can't be summoned away from him. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Because no one can steal it. Yeah from him. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. No one can steal it.

Yeah, yeah. I remember there's a scene in, I think, the seventh book where Harry's, like, sneaking around, and one of the Death Eaters is like, oh, I know he has an invisibility cloak. Asio invisibility cloak, and it doesn't leave? Huh. I like that if you have just a run-of-the-mill one,

that means you're invisible. Then as it fades, you can pretend to be a ghost. You kind of fade in and out. You're like, my cloak's no good, but look at this! Sort of see-through. I'm a fucking ghost. And then it's just a cloak. That's nice. Three uses.

What else did I like? All the characters are great. I liked having a muggle in a wizard world for once. That was really nice to see. He took to it like a champ. He's so quick. He was just like, I guess. There was a lot of muggle action. Sorry.

No, it's fine. Forgiven. You're okay. But no, it was just like basic muggling around. That was good. What else did I like? I liked getting another perspective on the wizard world. The Americans are real strict.

They don't breed with muggles. Yeah. Does that mean that, like, all wizards in America are pure blood? Yep. Yeah, wow. Unless they came from overseas, I guess. Which, to be honest, most... All of them did.

Yeah, well, true. So... There'd be some... But do we know that it was just America, or was it that in the 20s it was like that? Oh, true. Because it could have been like that in England as well. Yeah, that's a good point. In fact, it probably is.

Because, yeah, Newt's like... I know you have a backwards view of muggle relations. Although, speaking of that, and I think we may have touched on this before, that doesn't really make sense because if you've got two half-bloods and they fuck and have a child, then that's a pure blood in the eyes

of the magic world. Yeah, true. It shouldn't really work like that. No, in fact that should be Is it how two halves make a whole? Two halves do make a whole but it also makes a whole wrong one. Yeah. A whole load of garbage. But yeah,

I liked that. I liked how strict the muggles were. I mean the American wizards were. At the end they just obliviate a city and I'll get to that when I talk about things I liked how strict the Muggles were. I mean, the American Wizards were. At the end, they just obliviate a city, and I'll get to that when I talk about things I didn't like. But yeah, those are the things I liked. I probably touched that as well. It's fucked up. Mine slightly did.

Sorry, what was that? What about you, Dusha? Things I liked. I liked just... Do you want us to come back to you? No, no, no. Things I liked. I liked just... Do you want us to come back to you? No, no, no. I got this. I liked...

Yeah, the... I liked that there was just like a weird anti-wizard cult because I wasn't expecting that. That's not mentioned in the trailers at all. It's about time as well. I told you. If you'll recall. Well, your implication was that the whole world was just like,

Muggles and wizards know each other, but the Muggles aren't happy about it. But this was more like one cult is like, something's fucking going on. And all the Muggles are like... Until, yeah, the future president is murdered. I forgot it. Oh, yeah, I liked how brutal that scene was. Yeah, fuck, that was good. Am I wrong in thinking that Shaw was actually a potential candidate in the real world?

I don't know. It's a very familiar surname as a presidential candidate. What, he got assassinated or something? Well, I don't know. I'm just wondering if JK was like, whatever wizard did it. I don't think so. If you know and you're listening, tweet me, because I just have this feeling that Shaw was someone. I don't think so.

Fuck, I hope so. I hope JK was like, yes, but in my world, our wizard got him. But yeah. Yeah, I liked that it had time to have a nice time, as in all the stuff with Jacob, the nomad, was like, whoa.

Even Newt Samantha. Yeah, he was just having a good time um but yeah then there was also the super dark stuff it was nice to not just being a real dour i'm really tired it was nice to just not have a really dour film the whole way through it was like up it was weirdly up and down yeah i mean like it was sort of drastic how it would change. Breakneck speed. Yeah, but, like, Adam just necking some schmack. Fucking champion. Yeah, it was drastic. Like, you're having a lovely time down in Newt Scamander's suitcase zoo, and then all of a sudden a president's getting killed.

Assassinate the future president. I guess you're on... What a ride we are on. Yeah, that was mad. I liked that the film highlighted a big wizarding weakness as smacks in the mouth. No wizards expecting a punch.

Because you always wonder that. What would happen if you hit him? Would it work? Well, the answer is, Jacob tests this theory a few times. He fucking cold clocks so many fellas. They don't even know what the fuck hit them. What was that? Was that a spell?

If you went into Hogwarts and just punched your way through, you could probably get them all. Yeah. Because they'd go expelliarmus and your hand would open. Hermione actually punches Draco and he freaks out and doesn't know what the hell just happened and runs.

And then Ron says something like, bloody hell! That was brilliant. Well done, Hermione. You should punch more people. Do you see how Hermione punched me? Shut up, Ron. That was brilliant. Heavy, heavy, heavy

punch. Hermione, do it again. Ron's a piss baby. Just loves watching people get clocked in the mail. He's really racist, Ron. Really? Yeah, someone put it out. Is he racist to Ron?

To who? He uses, like, in the books and stuff, he uses all the slurs. Really? Thinks, like, oh, how those are scum and shit. Oh, yeah, he does. Yeah. He uses like In the books and stuff He uses all the slurs Really And thinks like Oh how the elves are Scum and shit Yeah he does Like that kind of just fits

Yeah but I guess it's like Because Ron's Well that's what they say They're like Malfoy's racist Because they think they're above Everything Ron's racist

Because he doesn't know any better Yeah Ron's kind of an idiot And he All the things he's racist to He overcomes He When he realises Lupin's a werewolf He's like Don't touch me Like and know any better. Yeah. Ron's kind of an idiot. And all the things he's racist to, he overcomes.

When he realizes Lupin's a werewolf, he's like, don't touch me. Oh, yeah. Wow. And then, but then. He doesn't overcome his fear of spiders, though. Yeah, well, that's not really racist. But spiders are a racist. I mean, a Gog Magog, whatever his name is. He's a fellow.

Aragog. He dies and he shrivels up like a spider does. And then that fucking Slugworth is like, give me a bit. Slugworth. The guy that tried to steal the everlasting gums. Slughorn. Slughorn. Takes a bit of Hagrid's deer front.

Give me his leg. I guess. He doesn't steal. Give me his leg. I guess. He doesn't steal. He asks politely. He asks for some venom and then he accidentally snaps off a bit of the leg. No, no, no.

When he's like burying him he comes back up with like a full thing. He doesn't ask. He just takes. Is that in the book? Yeah. I don't remember.

He's quite polite about it. Yeah. I liked it in the book. He's like, no, it's mine. Whatever. Like it's a spider. it doesn't have rights. It doesn't? No, it doesn't. That's right. On this one

on this occasion, I agree. Well, it depends. Is the spider race just the same as like a goblin or an elf? The goblins don't have rights. I don't fucking care about the spider's rights. Do they? Well, yeah, I guess. They have more rights than other things. Well, in Deathly Hallows Part 2 at the start, goblins die left, right, and center,

and no one cares. Well, people die in that one, and no one cares. So it just happens. Pretty much Harry only cares about people he knows. Is it Deathly Hallows 1 or 2 that they rob the bank? 2. Start of 2.

Are you sure it's the start of 2? Yes. 100%. How many times have you seen Deathly Hallows Part 2 in the last month? Last month, probably three. So not too many, but I watched little bits that I like, you know, I want to look back on. Highlights.

Highlights, yeah. You should cut together like a highlight. I should? No, I can't do that. I'll do it and then I'll be like, I may as well just watch the whole thing and I'll go back to the start and get all those goosebumps going. It is quite the through ride of a film.

It is. I could imagine you sitting in an editing room being like, I might as well just hit play on the entire thing. Keep this bit. But it usually takes me double the speed because I like to re-watch parts, pause it and all that. It's good to look around I'd love to watch writers remakes of Death of Hellers Part 2

where some scenes just happen twice other parts just aren't in it you're just watching for a bit that just pauses bits are highlighted on the screen it's like a red circle around a cup just like this is sick and stuff like that.

What were you calling something? Oh, this is fresh. That sounds like you. What were we watching the other day, Rydes, and we just kept on pausing it to look in someone's bedroom? What was it? It was a movie. Spider-Man 2.

Yeah, Spider-Man 2. We were checking it out. But not the good Spider-Man 2. The amazing Spider-Man 2. You know what? I'm going to say this here. I didn't hate that movie. I hated it.

I didn't hate it. I laughed a lot. Both of them were fucking chat. The first one's garbage. Yeah. But. The second one's with the rhino and stuff. Yeah.

The rhino's at the very end. No, but I liked the bit. I liked the very start. How good is the bit when Aunt May comes in and she's like, what have you been doing? And Peter Parker's like, I've been cleaning the chimney. And she's like, we don't have a chimney. And he's like what have you been doing and peter park is like i've been cleaning the chimney and she's like we don't have a chimney and he's like what that one joke doesn't make an entire movie yes it does no it doesn't redeems the whole film there's a super villain factory in that movie that that which is dumb I know, because we joked about it being a thing and then they fucking put it in a movie.

Fucking Electro is like Spider-Man forgot my birthday. I'm getting him. And it's so fun. He falls into a pit of electric eels. Oh, I love it. Anyway, what did you like about it, Adam? The Amazing Spider-Man 2. The Amazing Spider-Man 2?

Well, fuck fuck I love Jamie Lee Curtis what's his name Jamie Fox Jamie Lee Fox They cut out a really important Just quickly on that One thing that would have made them film infinitely better To get Jamie Lee Fox

Jamie Lee Fox as Electro It makes Electro's story arc way more clear he accidentally kills his mum after he becomes Electro like he goes home there's a scene in between him

becoming Electro and him going to Times Square and fighting Spider-Man because he thinks that he's under arrest because he murdered his mum

accidentally ah that's why he goes and is like I'm sorry I didn't mean it because you're like what are you talking about you fell into

we know you didn't mean it you fell talking about? You fell into a pit? We know you didn't mean it. You fell into a pit? You fell into a pit? That's not on you. Anyway. He killed his mom. Dead mom.

No good. What do you like about Fantastic Beasts? So, I guess my three favorite parts, obviously the monsters, as well as everyone else, I guess. The beasts. Bloody hell. They were just, all of them were amazing.

I really, oh, the snake thing that gets as big as the area. They're not aerodynamic at all. Those wings would not work. That's true. They were tiny for the animal. Maybe it used to have wings and it's like evolving them away. Oh, yeah, like those lizards that have the little stumps. Oh, it was a baby, remember?

So maybe the wings hadn't grown yet. But what about when it's really big? Yeah, but it's still a baby. Yeah, but its wings are still not So if you took that outside It's gross to fill whatever space it's in Don't take it out Because when he puts them in the nest They're in like what they think is an outside area

Yeah What if like it's only they grow to fit If it's an enclosed area Oh, that's true No, but then why aren't they... Like, when he takes it out of their nest in his suitcase zoo, it doesn't grow to fill his suitcase. Ah, but do they think it's a suitcase or do they think it's an open area?

Oh, that's true. Maybe they're like, oh, we're outside. Well, maybe they decide. Maybe they're like, I need to get in here. I'm going to do that. I need to be in this room. I'm going to be a bit bigger maybe a lot of things I guess

anyway I thought they were all good and I did like those snake things I forget what they were called I can't remember the name of any of the animals yeah I um I liked the little raid on that bloody speakeasy the what?

speakeasy it's like a name for a 1920s illegal bar. Oh, yeah, the little gangster scene. When he ratted him out? Yeah. Clocked in the head. So good. Talk shit, get hit.

I hated that guy's backwards fingers. Stitches get stitches. So bad. Why did he laugh every time he had a shot? Did he? He did. He did. He did. Maybe.

Oh, it was because it was called giggle water, which was an American name for booze. What a stupid drink to have at a gangster bar. Oi, Tony. Go for a sec. Tony, you got a real stupid laugh. Well, I'm not drinking any more giggle water. I know everyone's going to make fun of me. I just remembered because I got a notification on my phone about it.

So for anyone who saw the Facebook video of us in the cinema, Adam was eating carrots, and I said I'd check back in on the carrot situation. How's the carrot situation? All eaten. Well done. Did you hear me eating them? Not really.

I felt like it was very loud. No, I didn't even notice. I guess it was just echoing in my head or whatever. Oh, man, that was a good moment at the end. Oh, man. You went into your packet of M&Ms or whatever they are, made a loud rustling noise when the movie got really quiet very suddenly. That was one of my favorite bits of the movie.

It was like this real intense scene. It was like, oh, Queenie and Tingo are getting back together. My M&Ms were rustling and Adam was giving me such a dirty look and I laughed. It was super funny as well because just before then, I'd been thinking, because you were going at it a bunch towards the end. I'd just been thinking, what if I just grabbed

that packet of M&Ms, looked you dead in the eyes and upturned it while the movie was going? I'd have said nothing, but I'd have been furious. Do you like anything else? I'm sure stuff will come to you. Yeah. I mean, oh, no, Colin Farrell.

Yeah. His performance was amazing. Yeah, it was really good. I loved Colin Farrell. It was kind of muted, but good. Yeah, yeah. I thought it was like... It's almost like he was Johnny Depp in disguise.

Imagine this. Imagine this. Imagine this for a thing. Colin Farrell had no idea that his character was Johnny Depp in disguise. Until he saw the movie. Yeah, until he sees the movie. And he's like, wait, what? I thought I just got arrested. So, I have a quick question.

At the beginning, right at the beginning, There's like six wizards Or something like that Entering this mansion Yeah And they get blasted away By Grindelwald Grindelwald Do you think We're going to find out

What maybe that was Oh sure The whole I think it's blasted away By Grindelwald It was like a really early scene It was basically The first scene

Of the film Yeah Right before the credits No it was after the title sequence Are you sure Before the credits That was newspaper articles yeah and then there was a quick shot on like it was like a stretch of path there was grindelwald

you just saw him from the back with his blonde hair and he which had exactly the same haircut as colin farrell yeah yeah which i thought was weird until i yeah you got some wizards did you not say that i probably did i just can't. It was literally the first thing you saw tonight. Yeah. What about things you hated, right? I hated that if you don't use your magic, you turn into this weird dark cloud and kill everyone. Oh. I thought you were saying, like, just anyone who isn't using their magic.

You have to be gospel to get the magic out. Alohomora, alohomora, alohomora, alohomora. No, but that, I mean, like... Well, the thing about it is, like, obviously so many wizards have done that. I feel like they picked a really young age because they say most people who haven't used it, who do this, don't survive past 10.

But they set the schooling age at 11. That's a little dangerous. Is it that the kid doesn't survive 10, or that it doesn't survive 10 years since it starts? No, the kid doesn't survive 10. Oh, okay. Which, as you pointed out when we were leaving, douchey, Harry Potter doesn't know he's a wizard until he's 10.

He should have an Obscurus, surely. Maybe it's like you've got to be really powerful or something like that, or you've got to really try to hide it. I don't know. I think if you know really try to hide it. I don't know. I think if you know about it but hide it, if you don't know it exists and you're not using it because you don't know it exists, I don't think that matters. Yeah, that's different because when you repress it-

You hold it back. Yeah, but Harry just didn't know. That's why he's releasing snakes and ending up on roofs. Yeah. Making his aunt real big. Stuff he didn't question. He knew what he was doing there. I got you good.

But in the book, he turns up on a roof and he's just like, lol, what? This is notable. That scene always reminded me of when I was a kid. I kicked a ball and my shoe went on a roof. And then the groundskeeper had to go on the roof. And he was just standing on the roof. And he looked real confused as to why I was on a roof. Okay. Fuck, that was a good story the roof. And he was just standing on the roof and he looked real confused to why he was on a roof.

Okay. Fuck, that was a good story. Yeah, it was real good. I got my shoe back because I thought I was going to have to spend the whole day with one shoe. Because this was at recess. Oh, yeah. Yeah, see, now you get to... The whole day ahead of you. But not with only one shoe. I'd have to go to lunch with only one shoe. That's bad.

People would be like, Joel, one shoe. They'd go, bloody, they would. Where's the other shoe, Joel? They'd call me like, one shoe-sher. Christ. Woodgag. What else did you dislike?

Got him. Little class. I don't really know. I didn't really... There wasn't much you disliked? There wasn't something that I was like, oh. Yeah, true. There was no moments where I was like...

There was things where you're like, come on. Like? I don't know. I can't think of anything. No, I know it's like that. Did you feel uncomfortable? Not uncomfortable, but did you feel like... Surprised me.

Did you feel any scenes were awkward or anything like that i felt sometimes the dialogue wasn't the best yeah yeah same yeah especially with the american ministry some interactions between them it felt like just the word choice was bad like oh there are some real dangers out there on the street whereas it could have been like there are some real threats out there on the street it's just sort of smoother newt had a similar thing where he's like uh it's trapped out there with the most dangerous creatures in the world humans or something like that and it like yeah it just felt like an awkward line and then when that giant uh the obscurus or whatever is charging around you're like well obviously obviously humans are not the most dangerous thing in the world have

you seen this what have we got, you bloody keep one as a pet pretty much. Come on, mate. Yeah, not true. I think, like, I liked the film for the vast majority. Sometimes, yeah, the dialogue was annoying. Sometimes I felt like the characters weren't properly fleshed out or just existed as, like, one character trait and that

was it. Like, Queenie, she was, like, resourceful but also a bit ditzy and that was kind of all you got. Who's Queenie? She was the mind reader. The mind reader, yeah. And Goldstein, it was like there was character there, but whereas Queenie felt like heaps of character, Goldstein felt like not much.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like there was a lot of substance to Goldstein, but you didn't really get to see any of it. Yeah. And there was no substance to Queenie, but there was a lot of just like fluff. With Goldstein, yeah, you had to connect the dots a lot. A lot was implied, but never it. Yeah. And there was no substance to Queenie, but there was a lot of just like fluff. With God's Scene, yeah, you had to connect the dots a lot.

A lot was implied, but never said. Yeah. I really liked the strudel scene. Watching him make the strudel in the air. That was good. I did not like that scene. Why? I would love to, I could watch that strudel scene. I could watch him make so many meals. Why? Why did you not like it?

I don't know. I just like the special effects drew me out immediately. That was something I was going to say. I felt like the CGI in this wasn't that good. I think it wasn't, but it didn't need to be. No, I agree, but every time you touched an animal, I was like, there's a disconnect there. Yeah, true. If the animals

aren't interacting with people, I was fine with it. But the moment they did and that strudel scene, I like, I don't know, I can tell that it's not a real strudel. Are you sure you weren't mad that it wasn't made for you? You mad you just didn't have strudel right there in the cinema? Also, maybe I just don't like

apple strudel. I'm glad they showed the strudel though, because I was like, what's a strudel? I'm glad they showed the strudel It's an American term We don't hear it very much in Australia So when she mentions strudel I really hope they showed the strudel

Because I've got no clue what a fucking strudel is I know apple strudel is a food But I had no idea what it was God I love the idea of it When you go out apple strudel and you're just leaning over to Adam And you're like Adam what know apple strudels are food. I had no idea what it was. God, I love the idea of it. She's like, oh, when you go on apple strudel and you're just leaning over to Adam, you're like, Adam, what's a strudel? Adam, what's a strudel?

Just watch it. Adam, what if I don't show up? Well, you learn now. Quickly giggling strudel. I held it up in front of my, my throat in front of my face next to the screen. Be like, oh, they nailed it. God, they got it right.

But yeah, every time, like when he was touching, he had like a big thunderbird, like a big eagle monster, eagle beast. It was really mad. But every time he patted it, it was just not. And I don't know if like. What was that thing's name? Harry. Harry Potter.

He called it like Frankie. He called it like. I thought his name was Vic. Vic, I couldn't tell. I think it's Frank. Frank's so good. I was Frank once. Yeah, it was Frank. Frank's an awesome name. was Frank once. Yeah, it was Frank.

Frank's an awesome name. No, it was like Fit... Fink. Fitzy. Fitzy, Lou and Kay. Fonk. No, but every time we touched that bird, I was like, you're just not...

I just know you're not touching it. And the snake birds, every time they're wrapped around them, it just didn't look... That's why I quite liked the little platypus because I think the platypus looked very much in reality. And I don't know if it's just I'm misremembering it, but I feel like in the Harry Potter series,

it's just a bit better. No, the creatures are all a little weird. Really? No, but the dragon in part two is insane. Yeah, that looks super weird. It has muscle structure and shit Whereas these ones I just felt like didn't And I guess that's fine because

Hey whatever It was still a great film but it just Drew me out just that little bit I didn't like that the Muggle No the Wizards in the end Destroy New York With something they did And then mind wipe us

muggos here we just cop it on the head we're supposed to be like gee whiz they got it but like what the fuck how many people do you think died and just like lost to time

how intense would that Obliviate be or whatever oh yeah also this film reveals that there's like a venom from a certain animal that has the same traits as an Obliviate be or whatever? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Also, so this film reveals that there's, like, a venom from a certain animal that has the same traits as an Obliviate spell. And then they take it into a storm and it makes it rain that. It rains Obliviate. But, like, Obliviate, you're meant to be, like, sort of, like... I always had the understanding that, like, you had, like... Because if you're casting the spell, you sort of know what you're erasing.

Which is fine. Because in the movie, they talk about erasingasing Muggles memories constantly of wizards. Which you're like, yeah, I can imagine that. That's fair. But having it rain that, you're like, who's in control of that? Yeah, I know. The dragon that dropped it? Eagle, the thunderbird.

Yeah, I don't know. I hate that the ending is like, oh, magic can't solve this. Actually, it can. I know. Magic saves the day yet again. You can't just have magic be the fucking thing. I know, but early on they're like, ooh, it's a checkup. It's a blue magic potion.

I forgot about one of my favorite bits. Queenie's umbrella. Oh, yeah. It was so satisfying. What is it? Queenie's umbrella. I think the umbrella spell is like a purely American wizard spell. Because you never see it in any of the Harry Potter movies.

Even though it rains like a fucking ton in London. Idiots. In the British ones, they just do a spell that's like, oh, rain doesn't come on you. You like want to just run. Like Scotchgard. Yeah. It's a Scotchgard spell. Which is like, not that good.

You're still getting wet. I mean, like, you're not, but it's still dripping on you. Yeah, well. The umbrella is so much better And so much cooler It was also satisfying Because she held it like Oh it was good No I agree

I agree That was a good bit Worst bits Worst bits I didn't I didn't like the end Yeah I didn't like it When they're on the docks

And they're having that Awkward conversation I didn't like that For some reason So you know like Hermione and Ron's relationship Is this thing that blossoms Over seven movies.

And you can kind of watch it grow. This movie was like, relationships, relationships. They're just happening. It's movie magic. Like, I wish that Goldstein and Newt didn't, like, because they don't get together. But there's this real heavy implication that they will. And you're like, why? Goldie and whatever his name is, Norm, James, Jacob.

Jacob. That's fine. Because, whatever, they're both, like, Jacob. Jacob. That's fine because whatever, they're both like side goofy characters. That's just movies. But it kind of bugged me with the other two. Fair, fair. And I also didn't like that at the end, they just mind wiped Jacob. The muggle has been with them from the start.

They just get him, put him in a bakery. Fuck it. But they give him heaps of diamonds. So what? Silver. It's not even diamonds. It's like a small bit of silver. Silver's not that bad. Silver eggshells

that the guy that he sells it to is going to be like, what are these? What can I do with these? I thought it was diamond eggshells. No, it's silver. Silver. Yeah, it's silver. But that's kind of like if you're like Jackson. I'm not your friend anymore and I don't want you to ever contact me, but here's 500 bucks. That's alright.

Well, I guess. Better than a kick in the teeth. I mean, I guess. I mean, I guess. But I don't know. Bring it back. I'm sure they will for further movies. You're such a good head. I did. He was a great character. I loved seeing Amago involved in Wizard Biz. That was nice. The whole time he was just like,

what the fuck? But the film kind of made me hate wizards even more. And also, bits I didn't like, scenes I didn't like. I didn't really like anything with the cult. Yeah either it was like really on the nose and like not that kind of like it just wasn't reasonable you know what i mean yeah well the whole time from you well if you're muggles that are like oh yes wizards mind wipe us on the reg that's fucked fair you know like if i got obliviated and say I hid under my paper when the

rain came and then I was like, guys what the fuck? That's a future episode right there. Actually, there would have been people that would have avoided it. What if I'm just at home? That's why I showed the dude in the shower. Yeah, that amazing scene

of this dude in the shower. This guy having. Amazing scene of the dude in the shower. This guy having a shower, then all of a sudden he's just got the blankest look on his face. He just stands there for a bit. He's like, what? Oh, my God. Well, I guess the way it works

is that it goes into the water, you know? Yeah, true. But what if I saw it and then just got in a car and drove? What if you're halfway across the bridge? Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's just magic bullshit again, though, because there's a family who are sitting down to dinner

and there's no way the water's getting on them, but they're... No, they're drinking a glass of water. Yeah, she was drinking a glass of water, yeah. But say I was only drinking bottled water and I avoided it, then I'd have a reason to be mad. But these new Salemers or whatever, they just were like,

buildings keep exploding and I'm blaming witches. And you're like, oh, okay. No, the main chick saw magic. When? When she's beating her son. Yeah, she saw magic then, but that wasn't when she started it.

You know what I mean? She didn't? No, she was a what? What? Do we know that was happening before? Yeah, because what? Did you even see the same movie because at the start she's on the steps being like which is the fact she wasn't beating him she was beating him long before that no but no her that kid the kid's birth mother was a witch so i guess she just knows about witches then okay still it was i don't know it just didn't feel very like they asked me to swallow a lot, you know what I mean?

And you swallowed most of it. I swallowed a bit, but not all of it. Like with most pills you were able to swallow as much as you wanted. I was able to swallow a bit and then, well, yeah, because I can't take tablets. I just think it didn't go with the rest of the movie. Yeah, it was kind of unnecessary, to be honest. Yeah, the whole time

you're like, what are you doing? Why are you doing this? Also, not as far as i know none of that stuff is in any of the trailers it makes it seem like colin farrell is just hunted and newt down because he's like you beasts which to be honest they could probably slice off half an hour of this movie and just be like newt's beasts are loose the ministry is like we got an anti-beast law we gotta hunt down newt whilst newt stops his beast and then a real big beast gets out and they're like, all right, Newt, get the beast and he gets the beast

and that's it. I feel like it's setting up for future movies. Yeah, probably. I have no idea how these movies are going to happen. I have no clue what's coming. Fourth one will be the worst.

Yeah, that's your prediction. Anyway, what did you hate about it? Ezra Miller because he gave me the creeps. Who's Ezra Miller? Oh, he was spooky boy. Clarence. Cleidon's. Cleidon's Clearwater Revival. As soon as I saw him, I'm like, yeah, me the creeps who's ezra miller uh oh he was spooky boy clarence cleedance creedance clear

water revival as soon as i saw him like yeah you kill animals yeah you can tell he had one of the heavenly creedance yeah creedance he had uh bad hair he drooled a lot and he also uh was real sweaty i i kind of liked about him i I didn't notice it until the end. I didn't think about it until the end. So he kills, what's his name? The mayor, Shaw? Yeah, Shaw. And Shaw's the one who, when they go to the office, calls him a freak.

I didn't notice that kind of until the end. There was kind of a cool moment where you discover that Credence is the obscurus, the evil. Yeah, the main villain. Repression devil. And when I noticed that, I was like, oh, and a couple of dots connected in my head. And I was like, that's kind of cool. Like, it wasn't spelled out for me, which I kind of like. That was it.

Yeah. That mosquito that was in the room at the start of the episode just fucking got me. It bit me before. Fucking prick. It's going to get us all. You fellas be on the fucking lookout, all right? I probably already got gotten. I didn't even notice.

I never do. Fuck you. Every time. Can't even edit this one. I can. I'll fucking do it. I won't. I could.

Anything else you hated? Medicine. Did like the references to other Harry Potter things. Because it set up weird stuff. Like with Grindelwald, it was like he had a Deathly Hallows necklace, which is fine, because it sort of plays in with the character. But they were like, hey, Newt Scamander had a relationship with a Lestrange. Yeah, I know, you're like, okay. That was left field.

Well, there isn't actually that many wizards in the world. They're a very big minority. That means that this film series, which, look, honestly, I'll probably go from thinking this is a bad thing to a good thing. There is a chance that Newt Scamander will end up being Bellatrix's dad. How mad. What if he's a bad dad and he goes and looks for, like, goblins in the Alps and that's why she turns out all wrong? I don't think that's going to happen.

Like, you may be predicted. I don't think so. I don't think it will happen either. I think it's more likely it's just another Lestrange. I like that this movie confirmed the rumor that i'm not rumor but speculate the idea that wizards are very durable yeah yeah it was kind of cool to be like look muggles and wizards have a different physiology like that's just that's just fact wizards are tougher they can get thrown around which is kind of good to Like Lestrange, like that character Lestrange will be back. I forgot to mention this before because she's played by Zoe Kravitz,

who is Gamora in Guardians of the Galaxy. Oh, really? They wouldn't have got someone like that to just appear in a photograph. Yeah, I'm sure. Wait, who is it? You remember Gamora, the green lady from Guardians of the Galaxy? That's her, yeah? What's her name?

Zoe Kravitz. Zoe. Oh, isn't it Zoe Saldana? Is that the girl from Avatar as well? She's the cat lady. Yeah, I think so. Maybe I'm thinking of a different. I might have got my Zoe's confused.

Oh, no, no, no. I think you're right, actually. I'm looking at the IMDb right now. It says Zoe Kravitz here. Well, I mean, I'm sure. Oh, wait, no, but it's a different person. Fuck. She's in Mad Max.

She's not big at all. Which one? The most recent one. Which Zoe is which? Who's in the- Zoe Kravitz, the one that isn't Gamora, is in this. Oh, okay. She's in Mad Max, and her character's name is Toast to the Knowing.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know Toast. I'm familiar with Toast. Oh, no, cool. Cool, cool, cool. Oh, well, I mean, like, definitely they're setting it up so that that's, like, a plot point for a future film. Ah, and a more, like, a bigger role she has is she's Angel in First Class.

I've not seen it. Or I have, but I forget it. X-Men. What? Get out. Which is slightly disappointing because I'd kind of like to see future movies just different characters, entirely different characters. No, I agree. I'm sort of like to see future movies just different characters. Entirely different characters.

No, I agree. I'm sort of bummed out that there'll be connections, but hopefully they'll be pretty light. Do you... Yeah. Does anyone know who's playing Dumbledore? No, they haven't. Because I heard it's the Woodland Elf King from The Hobbit. Oh.

Yeah, what's his name? That's what I heard. I don't know. You're both looking at me. Legolas' dad or whatever. I'm not in a Hobbit film. The one that rides the deer. Hugo Weaver?

Oh, something Pace. Lee Pace. That would be cool. Oh, him. Hugo Weaver. He is in Galaxy. He is. Yeah, he is, dude.

Vernon the Accuser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, maybe. I mean, I don't really care. I hope Dumbledore is not, like, a prominent character, but he probably will be. No, because they were good mates, weren't they?

Yeah, Newt and Dumbie. I wouldn't mind Dumbledore. No, no. Yeah, sorry, I thought you meant Grindelwald. Yeah, yeah. Dumbledore feeds into Grindelwald, so I wouldn't mind Dumbledore. If they make Weasley references...

Oh, yeah. I would make Weasley references. I'd check out at that point. How? Weasley or maybe even Potter. If I check out at that point. How? Weasley or maybe even Potter. If I hear either one of those, I check out. Granger I'd be okay with. Just casually visiting his dentist.

Wouldn't that be so good? Need to get my teeth checked out. Just like the opening shot of like the third one is Grindelwald's teeth as he gets them checked actually if the opening the one is like is like a clear glass you know how someone will have like in a door like a glass window and their name on it oh yeah it says granger there if that's the opening actually i'm kind of that's so good well because you don't know about granger's family at all because they're muggles so it's boring they're just dentists just dentists i mean this movie is set 70 years before well it'll be like a grandpappy whatever i like in it's i think it's the i think it's the last harry potter book or the movie or the second last one where hermione's at

that like meeting of stock club yeah and six number six and she's like he's like what do your parents do she's like dentists and he's like I don't understand is that a spell? what is it? and she's like ah god forget it they'll be irrelevant soon because I'll make them forget I existed yeah

for no real good reason whoops anyway Adam also for some weird reason they cast Lady Stark as Hermione's mum for that one scene

yeah I know what a weird choice. Was she a very famous actor then? Nope. Still. Harry Potter came before Game of Thrones. Yeah, I suppose.

Adam, what did you dislike or like? No, dislike. That's what we're doing. Dislike. As stated previously, I'm not a big fan of... Harry Potter? Yeah, Harry Potter, just in general. Hate the series.

The entire movie was just garbage. No, the opening... Oh, the first scene between Kowalski and Queenie? Yeah. I didn't like that. I thought it was a bit awkward. Actually, the first scene between Kowalski and fucking Newt was also not great. Yeah, it was a bit awkward.

Not too bad, but, like, it was a bit of... What, her just chasing him around the bank? No, no. a bit awkward. Not too bad, but like, it was a bit of... About her just chasing him around the bank. No, no, no. Actually, I kind of like them introducing each other at the bank when they both sit down next to each other. He's like, I'm here for the same reason you are. He's like, oh, geez. To open a bakery?

To open a bakery? Yeah, that was all right. That was good. Also, like, he seems to think it's a competition to see who can get the mortgage. What was weird, you know, I was saying was saying like Goldstein's character was never explained. So when they first introduce her, she has mustard on her lip. Yeah, she's eating a hot dog.

Yeah, I know. But like, what's... She's just having a hot dog. It's New York, mate. Get with the program. United States of America, we eat hot dogs here. She has so much mustard on it as well. It was. No sauce. That's my here I guess she had so much mustard on it as well

it was no sauce that's my second thing I hate too much mustard I hate mustard in general it was really weird that she took a hot dog that was pure mustard

and she ate that fuck maybe that's all they had left is it a British director maybe he's never had hot dogs maybe he's like what do we do

just mustard just so much mustard mustard put that on shower it mustard Never had hot dogs before. And then he's like, what do we do? Just mustard. Just so much mustard. American's like, mustard? Put that on! Shower it in mustard. Yeah, that was weird. Anyway.

I also didn't like Johnny Depp. Just in general. As a fella? Just not a fan? He wasn't there for very long, but he looked weird. It was very off-putting for me. And the one line he did have, I didn't hear properly. Yeah.

He had two lines. Yeah, I forget what the first one was. It was like, you can't lock me up forever. Oh, yeah. That was okay. Actually, maybe they evened out there. That line was all right. And finally, I didn't like the...

What's her chick? The president. Oh, yeah, no, I agree. I agree. I felt like she didn't have like... She had weird hair there. That's good. That is good.

I did like this. Yeah, I did like how she was dressed and such like that. But I feel like her character was very... It was an underwhelming performance. No no i just feel her character was dismissive like um when goldstein first comes to her with like a prisoner yeah to be you know to have a conversation she's like i don't know i i feel like in any regular movie that character gives her one chance to say what she needs or it's like a get out you're in trouble Instead it was a weird middle thing

Where she's like can you please come back later You're fired go And then she like just kind of When they're having them I don't know I didn't like a lot of her decisions I felt I'm very strongly disagree I just found her performance really underwhelming She's incompetent in her job

Yeah she was though She wasn't a great president. She didn't have, like, a commanding presence, which you think she should, you know. What are you... I was thinking, I was like, you know how there was that fake trailer for the TV show Auras? Yeah.

Colin Farrell would play such a good cop. He would. He'd play such a good wizard cop. Just the way he moved and shit. And Aura's TV show set in like the 1920s in America was bad. Even now. Oh, now it would be even better. Now it would be what you want. Bloody wizards running across rooftops. Dirty wizard dens.

Bad boys, bad boys. What you gonna do when they come for you? Just cops, but with wizards. Yeah. W-I-Z-A-R-D-S. Are you holding any dragon eggs? You gotta tell me if you're holding dragon eggs so newt went to america because he knew about the thing no he's trying to release

the eagle he's trying to put his thunderbird in nevada and then he's like new york's close enough that's a big big fly i was thinking that that's quite a big flight what if it just dies like newt's in trouble i think he planned on going all the way to Nevada. Yeah, which I kind of wish I was, like, looking forward to. Okay, Newt's Ark. Because when they first introduced this big bird that he's taking to Nevada, I'm like, cool. So Newt's Ark is going to be, like, traveling across America

to finally release his bird into the desert. How cool. Instead. Oh, one thing I forgot to mention that I really liked. They fucking just fuck oh what's it called what's this transport spell called oh uh apparating they fucking apparate all over the shop and you would barely walk in this movie which makes so much like yeah they just why wouldn't you because they're not teens they're not kids so they just can't

they're all legally allowed to apparate wherever they want. I really liked that Newt was basically just a zoologist. Like he was just like a conservationist and that was kind of cool. He wasn't like a big hero. He wasn't like, I care about justice. He was like, I'm just looking after animals. I just love these animals. And it wasn't even like, oh, all the magic involved. He was like, here's the practical ways to look after and treat these animals.

Yeah, and I really liked that. monkey with a wand oh yes oh a monkey gets a wand and it's so good and he hits it on the ground and it does a weird spell so the monkey's like what uh also a right a giant magical rhino tries to fuck a hippo that's like 10 times smaller i'm sitting in between jackson and doucher for the movie so when he's like it's it's ready to mate or it's in heat and he like slaps some fucking jelly or whatever it is between his hands on both of my sides both of you just had a moment where you leant back and were like yes here we go somebody's gonna get fucked by a magic rhino well yeah the rhino tries to

fuck a hippo and it's like roughly like this rhino's like four or five times the size of the hippo and the hippo looks real scared

yeah also it's a it's a female rhino I don't know what the plan was when it got down there and then bloody

no magic mate accidentally margot friend bloody accidentally puts a whole bunch of like mating serum scent on his body and then the fucking rhino's after him My girlfriend But he accidentally puts a whole bunch of like Mating serum On his body

And then fucking Rhino's after him then And he just in a panic runs across the lake And he must be so scared And then he's up a tree for a bit The Rhino horns the tree And then the tree burns I don't know what it's horned is It sort of just disintegrates and falls

No because it's got like a fire in its head I like that whilst poor Jacob Is trying not to get fucked to death By a rhino Newt's like alright let me have fun getting my mom back From a monkey He's not like oh my god oh my god I'll fight the monkey Because I need to save my front

And then in the end they're mates He's not just like fuck this Uh what's uh Eddie Redmayne Is he British? And then in the end they're mates He's not just like fuck this What's Eddie Redmayne Is he British The actor Eddie Redmayne sounds like a real British name Because his British accent felt forced

At times It was a weird British accent but I quite liked the character of Newt I think he was really good I think most of the characters were good except Queenie Yeah he was born and raised in London That's a legit accent, man. That's legitimately British. British as they come. It was weird that it sounds strange.

Strange. Doctor Strange. What do we think's coming next? What's next for Fantastic... There are five movies and this one ends pretty like bloody Muggo mates a baker. Aura girls aura-ing again. Who knows what Queenie's doing. Newt's off to write a book.

Yeah, I think. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Hint, they're in your briefcase. And also... You got them, Dickhead. You already had them. He doesn't even get any extra ones. That's true.

He starts with six and ends with six, pretty much. Nah, because he gets rid of the birds. Well, he starts with six and ends with five. It's not Fantastic Beasts and Where to Lose Them. Because New York. Nevada, actually. Nevada, but he put it's not Fantastic Beasts and we're to lose them because New York Nevada actually Nevada but he put it off in New York

that's gonna get lost oh boy it's gonna be a dead giant why did he release that after the fucking no he released it

for the oblivion yeah but then it's gonna rain and it knew exactly what to do or it'll fly back and everyone will be like what the fuck

I remember now that's right because Muggomate who fucking opens a bloody bakery is making bread

versions of all the magic the fantastic beasts he saw so surely if he's already like having thoughts like that seeing just a glimpse of anything

would just fuck everyone's brain surely like everybody in that city in New York is just making weird pictures and drawings and sculptures of the things they've seen. Well, most of them didn't see the beast. They just saw that wizards are real.

You know what I reckon that implies? Yeah. I reckon that implies that every pop culture wizard, every depiction of a witch we have, is because at one point we were obliterated obliterated in the past obliterated obliviated and we've just got that like vague memory in the back of our head of what a wizard looks like that's why our wizards look like harry potter wizards that's my theory i feel like the rain stuff is maybe a little indiscriminate so that's why memories

if you cast the spell maybe it's more effective I hope in the next movie Newt actually catches the magical creature that'd be fun to watch is this hope or think? I reckon they're going to phase out Eddie Redmayne and it'll focus on a new character I hope it's not Grindelwald and Dumbledore oh god that would be so bad

I think after this movie there'll be so much love for Newt and Jacob. Jacob, yes. Newt is just like... I like Newt. I enjoyed his character. I think Newt is the kind of character that people will just leap on and love. You know what I mean?

He's a bit British and awkward and a bit cute. Yeah, like he's handsome. He's British. He's awkward. People will like make... He avoids eye contact real bad Yeah, you know Maybe on the spectrum a bit

He will not make eye contact with anyone It freaked me out a little bit But yeah, so I think they'll keep him around I think they'll get the four of them back together For the next film I don't think so I think, my prediction a little bit Two predictions, first off

Newt stays, but they get a new revolving car. New Margot. Maybe a new Margot. That's what I hope. It's just him. Me too. Who people will probably not like as much. And second off, it's going to be kind of the same thing where it's like two main plots.

One about the magical beasts and then a side plot with Grindelwald. But the Grindelwald one will have more prominence than it did in this movie. Yeah, I can see that happening. I can see it being like Newt's story is animal or beast based and Grindelwald's happening and then slowly they kind of converge into the one story. Yeah. The distinction between the two becomes less and less clear. Because Grindelwald seems like... Sorry.

Grindelwald seems like... You know how he's trying to collect the Deathly Hallows? Yeah. I think maybe at this point, instead of trying to collect the Deathly Hallows, or in addition to, he's just trying to find power? Because that seemed to be what he was kind of doing.

Yeah, yeah. His plan was very vague. I don't understand what he wants. Does he have all three of the Deathly Hallows when Dumbledore defeats him? No, he definitely never gets the invisibility cloak. That's always in the Potter family, or Dumbledore

has it. Yeah, because Dumbledore gave it to Harry's dad, and then... Who has the resurrection stone? Dumbledore, because he puts it in the snitch. How long was it in the snitch? That means Dumbledore has all the Deathly Hallows at one point. Yeah, but there's a theory that he never was the true owner of the Elder Wand. The invisibility cloak is a Potter family tradition.

Yeah. When Harry's dad, James, dies, Dumbledore holds on to it briefly until in Harry's first year he gives it back to him. The stone is from the Marvolo family or whatever like that. Voldemort's family. And it gets hidden underneath because Voldemort uses it as a horcrux. It gets hidden underneath his family home. The stone? No, it didn't.

Sorry? The stone. Yeah, the stone. It's the underneath his family home. The stone? No, it didn't. Sorry? The stone. Yeah, the stone. It's the ring. Is it? Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. I did not know that. It gets hidden underneath the house until Dumbledore finds it and that's towards the end of the book. Yeah. And then...

Then they break the ring, but then it just gets left in the forest. Yeah. Because you can still use it. It's just lost in the forest. Is it just in the woods? So in like 20 years, some little 11-year-old first year is going to pick up this ring, accidentally turn it, and be like, whoa. What have I done? He's like Voldemort and shit in a bag.

Jesus. Because when I pick up a ring, the first thing I do is turn it three times over in my hand. And then the wand is destroyed by Harry. Not in the book. He puts it back to Dumbledore's grave. Does he? God, that's just asking for trouble.

It is. It really should. Because the physical wand is not what's important. It's ownership of the wand. So Harry still owns it. Yeah, but then harry's plan is i will die no one will and no one will own the other one i'd like a harry potter movie set when harry's like 40 and disillusioned it's like no fuck it i'm gonna take it back i don't know

where he's lost his family everyone's gone like that's it i'm ruling i think college humor did a thing similar to that where they're like the harry potter cast when they're 40 surely their lives just suck at that point um i think the next fantastic beasts movie will be him trying to you know in this it's like a beast gets loose yeah yeah i think in the next one it'll be like he's got to get a beast and it's like a big deal and that's like his plot for the story real simple but i think that's probably where they're gonna what if it's like beast besets a town or something like that? Yeah, that's kind of cool.

Do you think he'll be still in America? No, because he went back to London. Did he go back to London? I was trying to remember where he went. He's handing in his dissertation or something like that. Oh, he's going back to the ministry is what he said. So maybe it'll be set. So maybe he'll work for them going,

because you know what I was talking about? The dragon people. Maybe he's one of those. Yeah, true. Well, they said that. They said that he trained them during the war. Yeah, I want to know what that's about. Wow. Dragons during the war. How cool. Man, it'd be cool if we got some flashbacks there.

Also, his brother is a war hero. That got dropped out of nowhere and then never mentioned again. Wow, it'll be I'm sure it'll come. All those little threads will be what the next movie is. Or the next couple. Fuck. And then randomly

a bit of Dumbledore, a bit of Grindelwald. Yeah, exactly. I will sprinkle it around. I hope Johnny Depp also plays Dumbledore. But with grey hair rather than blonde.

So they don't even look that different? Just same look. Mustache and weird like undercut. And salamander. Don't forget the wrong eyes. Yeah, you had the wrong eyes.

I hope Salamander turns into Johnny Depp. Everybody's turning into Johnny Depp. They make another rain, but instead of making muggles together, it just turns everyone into Johnny Depp. What was I going to say? As a final thing, because it's nearly five. It is 4.59. Where do you want him to go next

I mean I'm gonna say Australia because I want him to come down on it I want to see fucking Aussie he won't though space

he won't I'm not kidding him space space is a good one wizard space program is probably like put you in a bubble put you in a rocket

you're in there I want to see beasts on the moon yeah alright moon beasts no one can top those answers we did it

Australia or the moon. Yeah. Like, we know the formula here. These fellas are guests. Someone says space and they win. That's it. That's your peak. I'm so tired that I'm slurring my words now.

Anyway, where do you want to go? I want somewhere super remote. Antarctica. Oh, yeah. Sahara. Some place like Australia. Space. Australia. Doesn't get much more remote than space. I mean, I guess. was super remote? Antarctica? Oh, yeah. Sahara? Australia? Space? Australia? Space? It doesn't get much more remote than space.

I mean, I guess. Ryder? What? He said Australia. He said May. No, I won't say Australia. Hogwarts. Where would you want him to go? I'll just say, like, Iceland. Iceland would be cool. Or Norway. Norway with them big cliffs and stuff. Getting trolls.

Trolls. Oh, sick ass. Yeah. I Norway. Norway with them big cliffs and stuff. Getting trolls. Trolls. Oh, sick ass. Yeah. I want to see him go in like... No, that doesn't make sense. What were you going to say? Like, what happens if he puts a briefcase in the briefcase, but he can't do that?

Or can he? What? I don't know. I don't know what's going on. You want infinite space within infinite space. But you can't pick up the... Yeah. Ah, one last bit.

When Jacob's trying to get in the briefcase, but he's too fat, and then he has to pick up the briefcase to hoist himself in, and he's just hopping around in the briefcase, half in, half out. But the briefcase is like... It's like he's just hopping around in it. That was good.

It's funny because an entire rider gets in that. Yeah, but he struggles. He's not a beast. He's a man. He's a fantastic man, though. And where to find him? The bakery. And on that note, I've been Jackson Bailey.

I've been Joel Usher. I've been Adam. I've been Ryder Bailey. And we've all been fucking tired. Yeah, it's 5.01. We did it. We did it. It's 5 a.m.

This is the latest we've recorded. Yep. I drank half a bottle of schnapps during this episode, and I did not finish it just now. I finished it a while ago. And because I'm not going to edit, if you think this episode was worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account?

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goodnight, go to bed, don't listen to this what are you listening to, it's five in the morning fuck, we're not going to be in bed until like seven at this point, I know I hide it are you listening to it's five in the morning fuck we're not going to be in bed until like seven i know because i know i hate it anyway wait what are you going to upload it or is the person who wrote down the instructions going to upload adam's gonna upload it good night