Plumbing the Death Star - What Did We Think of Justice League?

Episode Date: November 20, 2017

It's back. #letmedie! In which our heroes review a piece of garbage.Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter:  twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sanspan's radio, back from the movies. What's up guys? It's your boys, Plum and the Death Star, and we are back, baby! You asked for it and here it is, hashtag let me die. Oh, we saw a movie! It's returned! It's back! Did we ever.

We saw a movie! The people have asked for it And we've supplied and delivered They're like Hey Where was it Justice League's out Where did you go

You know I'm listening And I hear the birds And I hear the bugs But I don't hear the boys Here it is Here it is What the fuck Did we think of this piece of shit film

Known as Justice League leak everybody knows that the dice are loaded everybody rolls with their fingers crossed everybody knows the war is over everybody knows that good guys lost everybody knows I thought I buried the title there didn't I yeah look you buried it later also I'd just like to point out that this is back in our Plumbing the Death stuff feed one time only

offer well not one time only so yeah just a quick explanation of where this show has been and why it disappeared. If you're not part of our Patreon or SansPens Plus, we actually do have a new show called What Did We Think of That? Which is this. Yeah. But yeah, there hasn't been any midnight screenings in Australia.

The last one that happened here was Fate of the Furious, which unfortunately we didn't go to. I had to work it. Justice League didn't have one either. So, sorry, but we haven't not been doing them. We've just not been in a position. We've been well rested. It's been lovely. I've loved it. I've loved every moment. Cinema in Australia is dying, I guess.

And no one wants to go to the movies real late. As a man who really hates going to see a film at midnight. It's been working in your favor. I'm glad. I really hope that we as a nation are just like, stop it. No. I hope we get more 6 a.m. screenings.

Star Wars has a 3 a.m. screening. Why? Well, because like the midnight. Well, the midnight screening sold out. So like, you still want to see it in the middle of the night? what if you want to see it twice in one day? that's fucked maybe I should

give me a 6am I'll go see it at 6am I'm happy for that this also seems like the perfect time to quickly plug this ya boys Joel Dusha and Jackson Bailey and potentially probably Adam Cannavale are attending the live recording

of the Steel Wars podcast straight after the midnight screening of The Last Jedi. We will post a ticket link on our social media once it becomes available to us. Steel is currently working on a poster. Come on down and watch me be like, it was fine and Steel be like, God, I hate you, Jackson. And I'll be like, I'm so tired.

It's three. Yeah, because the live show will be taking place around 3.30 a.m. We're going to be some cooked boys. It's going to kill us. Yeah, and that's exciting. Anyway. Justice League. Something I find amazing about this movie is that I came away from it.

Obviously, we all hated it. That kind of goes without saying. Like, no. Out of 10, what do we give it? I'm giving it maybe a 2. Maybe 2.5. I might give it a 3. I'm going to give it, I've gone to the shower

and I'm showering and I'm like, I need to piss. And I've pissed in the drain and then that piss has then come out of the shower on me. And now I'm showering in my own piss. Out of 10 so yeah let's try to give up the piss related metaphor for how we feel about this film for me this film was like i've sat down

on the toilet in a public bathroom and the moment i've sat down i've i've realized that when i looked at the toilet to see if it was clean i i didn't fully see. And now I've sat in piss and there's piss on the underside of my thigh. And it's a stranger's piss, but I'm already shitting. So I just have to hack it and cop it until I'm done and can clean myself up. And I'm out. So when am I going to properly get that piss off my body? So for me, it's like, so like, I've gone a bit wild. I'm like, you know what?

You know what? I reckon I'm into water sports. It's going to be great for me. And I'm like, I pulled up my head. I'm like psyched up. I'm like, you know what? I reckon I'm into water sports. Sure, sure. It's going to be great for me. And I pulled up my head. I'm psyched up. I'm like, I'm really into this. This is for me. I'm like, yes, piss over me.

This is going to be fantastic. And the moment it hits, I'm like, nope. Oh, I've made a mistake. Yours is almost the worst. Oh, God damn. You were so proud. Oh, no. I've made an error.

An unfortunate plumbing accident. Yours was on you. A plumbing mishap on Plumbing the Death Star. I'm not going to lie. I was looking forward to this film. I was. And maybe not for the reasons that they wanted me to be excited. I was thinking this was going to be like a hot nightmare,

kind of like BVS. And it wasn't. It was dull. It was boring. It was mediocre. See, for me, I'm such a DC fanboy. So every time one of these movies comes out, I'm excited because I love the characters.

And I'm like, fucking, I hope somebody does one of the... Ah, nope. Nope. Done them wrong again. Done bad by them once more. Let's get into this before we... I reckon this is probably a good launching off point. Where would you rank Justice League out of the DCEU films?

So I'll go first because I thought about mine on the drive here. All right, let me think. So Wonder Woman is the best film, but I think if I had to rewatch... So I'll put Wonder Woman first, but I'll come back to that. So Wonder Woman, Batman v Superman, Man of Steel, A Very Long Pause,

Justice League Suicide Squad but it's close I'm almost the same but I might switch Suicide Squad and Justice League just because I can tell what oh yeah it's hard I don't know

for me I think it's basically the same. Justice League and Suicide Squad have the same issues, but the Justice League characters are infinitely more annoying. No, sorry, the Suicide Squad characters are infinitely more annoying. I've actually seen Justice League twice now in this week, but I don't think I would happily go watch, or even unhappily go watch Suicide Squad. I've seen Suicide Squad twice, the second time because I was showing Ryder, who was like, I don't care I would happily go watch or even unhappily go watch Suicide Squad.

I've seen Suicide Squad twice. Second time because I was showing Ryder who was like, oh, it's fine. But I couldn't watch it. Like my body physically stopped me. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm trying to think of the soundtrack and I'm kind of like, oh, I don't like it. Yeah.

I 100% agree with you there, Dusha. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm the same, but I might put man of steel after justice league and before suicide squad because i made of steel i couldn't watch again i was just so so bored like yeah so unimaginable it's not like horrible it's just very who cares it's the most boring dc film i'll say. I didn't find Justice League boring. I just found it terrible. I actually found it boring. In fact, I leant over in the middle of the film and said to Zamit,

I'm so bored. Which is rare for me. I usually sit through shit all the time. Blade Runner is an incredible film. It's two hours and 40 minutes. If a movie was going to make me fidgety, it's going to be that slow-burning movie. Loved it. Sick. So good. Justice League, two hours. forty minutes. If a movie was going to make me fidgety, it's going to be that slow burning movie. Loved it.

Sick. So good. Justice League two hours, an hour in, I was like See, I wasn't, I just was like, this is bad. This is bad. This is like it's like someone's giving you a piece of burnt chicken. You're like, this is a bad meal. Objectively, there's nothing good about this. It's bad. I'll eat it. Mine was like, they'd

given me burnt chicken but it was like the 20th time in a row i've had burnt chicken and i was like it's bad but i'm used to it but i'm bored by this give me wet chicken instead if you want to mix up the batman v superman wet chicken yeah unexpected yeah just unbridled chaos the film yeah like i think no no and i't put BVS above see that's what I was going to say I reckon if I had to re-watch a DC film I'd happily go with Batman V Superman

I've watched BVS multiple times and like fuck I have such a good time with it ah it's great but like it's terrible but it's great but this film was Justice League like and I hate that it's called Justice League every time you try and abbreviate it, you're like JL. Ah, JL.

I want to say the A, but it's not. Well, it's clever because if they called it Justice League of America, I would have put my foot down straight away and been like, Wonder Woman is not American. She's from, the actress is from Israel. And she's using a normal accent. She's from ancient Greek. Amazonian.

Amazonian. Not in America. In the sea. Speaking of in the sea, Atlantis. Maybe it was part of like one of the east coast. Doesn't matter. The ocean is not America's. It's Justice League of the World. I would have accepted that as a title.

I do like how they shied away a lot from saying Justice League of the world. I would have accepted that as a title. I do like how they shied away a lot from saying Justice League. Yeah. Don't call your movie Justice League and shy away from saying Justice League. It's the Avengers initiative. Yeah. They're like, yeah, here we are. This is what it is.

Actually, they didn't say Justice League at all, did they? No. They said League and Justice, but never together. Separately. They said, I'm a fan of Justice. No, I'm a fan of Truth. said, I'm a fan of truth. Truth. And a fan of justice.

And also justice. Superman was good in this movie, but his upper lip stressed me. Oh, my God. It's so noticeable. Is it? Isn't it just? Oh, but you know what? I really wish that.

First off, I want to shout out to Paramount Pictures for being like, no, he's keeping that mo. Because like, fuck, well done. Can we find out what it's for? Mission Impossible 6, I think. That movie will do better than this. Well, okay, two quick things on that. One, this is the worst opening for a DCEU film, but is by far the priciest one. So this could be the end of the DCEU.

Fingers crossed. Two, after they did the reshoots for Justice League, Tom Cruise broke his ankle and had to delay shoots on Mission Impossible 6 for three months anyway. So do you know what could have happened in that three months? Henry Cavill could have grown back that mustache. Fuck, that's good.

So beautiful. Imagine though, let's imagine for a second that this film was made in the 80s and they didn't have the technology to get rid of his mustache and had to use a prosthetic. Or they drew what Cesar Romero did

To sort of paste it over I wish they'd gone the other way I wish they'd gone the other way and said You know what, keep the moustache Let's digitalise it back in the other shots I would have been very happy I thought it would have been Fucking just give him a goatee like Zod

Then you're like oh that's what happens to a Kryptonian that's dead for a long time. Dead for a year. They grow a goatee, not here up the side of the cheeks, but just around the lips and chin. Oh, fuck. That would be funny also because Paramount would have to be like, you can't go to the mustache and Warner Brothers like, we'll make a deal with you. What about a goatee? But yeah, so well done for them for just like digging in their heels Brothers like we'll make a deal with you what about a goatee yeah so well done for them for

just like digging their heels and like we refuse and good on you Daisy for being like you're just clearly not powerful enough to fight the like Mission Impossible 6 you're like I fear Tom Cruise okay you'll keep this Mark I hope that mustache is like so important in Mission

Impossible oh I hope the opening scene of the film is him shaving. I really like- If I was Paramount, I'd be like, hey, Henry Cavill, we got some reshoots we just need you to do. Oh, my word. Imagine- Oh, please.

Please, Paramount. I really love the idea of like, they're like, okay, it's fine. We'll just digitally get rid of it. And then they're showing the guy who made that decision scenes of that and he just... It looks like he's either had

Botox or... It's like weirdly distracting. You know when... I forget what it's called. Uncanny Valley? No, like a lip. Oh, like a hair lip. Yeah, it's like you had a hair lip. Yeah, absolutely. Which is fine, but it's just distracting. It's just not what you... His face didn't look like that before. Yeah, it's like you had a hair lip. Yeah, absolutely. Which is fine, but it's just distracting. It's just not what you...

His face didn't look like that before. Yeah. It's like a hair lip in real life, barely noticeable, because you're like, that's just their face. But when a man goes from not that to that to not that again, distracting. Yeah, very strange. So what we always get...

We got categories for this. Oh, yeah. Things we liked, things we didn't like, things that didn't make sense. Things we liked. One scene. Yeah. One things that didn't make sense. Things we liked. One scene. One scene only. It's not even a scene.

There's a shot. So one shot in a scene where Superman's back from the dead, and they're all fighting him, and Flash runs around the side, and he's like, I got this. And you see Superman's eyes move. That was great. And then he goes back to Flash's face like, what? And then back to Superman, and he just starts tracking him. That's like something out of a horror movie. That was great. And then it goes back to Flash's face like, what? And then it back to Superman and he just starts tracking it.

That's like something out of a horror movie. That's great. That's Flash being like, my powers oh shit. That was the only time in that movie where I was like, oh shit, a threat. Yeah. That's another thing about this whole film. I did not feel any tension. Categories. Things we liked. Unless you didn't like that there was no tension

in which case, allow it. I actually liked the start. The start? Hang on. I liked the idea that Batman was doing detectiveness. Yes. But I didn't like the whole thing. But I liked that he was, you know,

I liked the process of I'm going to try and scare a lad for fear so that the paradigm will come up so I can trap him and get a coffee or whatever. It's very convoluted-y. But it still felt quite Batman. Hey, hey, hey, he's doing some detective work. That's good. That's good. I'm just going to get a note of that.

Don't worry. Things that didn't make sense. I have literally just notes of this whole film because I was like, I can't. There is so much. Which we can go through if we'd like to. But I loved that scene with Superman looking at Flash. Yeah.

Grave robbing. That was all right. That was pretty good. That was very funny. We just watched it. It should be fresh in your mind. Like, we're literally fresh out of the cinema. Yeah. Did I like anything? Oh, the should be fresh in your mind. Like, we're literally fresh out of the cinema. Yeah.

Yeah. Did I like anything? Oh, like a Wonder Woman show in the backstory and seeing, like, Zeus and Hermes and shit. Oh, that's another thing that just doesn't make sense. That was kind of cool. I like that the humans buried their box in a hole. That's the best thing about this movie, is that when they were like, we've got to bury the mother boxes,

the Atlanteans are like, we've got a temple, don't worry. The Amazonians are like, we're going to put it in a safe place. And the humans are like, we'll just fucking bury it. We'll just dig a hole. It's not even that deep. It's not that deep a hole. It's not even like six foot. It's like a fucking fox could have dug it up.

You can almost like after, like, cause that was 5,000 years ago. It would just be not buried anymore. Yeah. It wasn't. They uncovered it. Um,

what else did I like? Oh, uh, Flash having to eat. Yeah. And then like only that one scene, he wasn't shown eating other times. That was annoying,

but I liked that. He was like, I have to address it. Cause it's something we've brought up before. That was good. Um, poor. But I like that he was like, I have to eat. They addressed it because it's something we've brought up before. Yeah, that was good. Gotta be other stuff. I mean, maybe not. It's just a lot of gripes I've got.

How did you feel about... It was satisfying to see Aquaman just neck that whiskey. I thought that was more stupid I mean it's also good because that's also that's a shot out of that's like they filmed that scene for Suicide Squad

yeah one icky thump by the wire straps just starts playing out of nowhere and we watched all the credits because there's end credit scenes and there was

six songs in that movie why did they waste it like and that scene goes for about four seconds. Every scene with solo Aquaman actually felt like something out of the Suicide Squad. It was kind of like, hey, let's reintroduce Aquaman again.

Have the music. And I was waiting for them to do the zoom in kind of thing and then just some stats about Aquaman, but it didn't happen. But also, it's a weird choice for Aquaman, like for a theme song. Oh, yeah, I'm just looking through my notes.

That might be it. I think that's it. Yeah. Alright, I, again, that was the very best scene of the movie with Superman's eye having a twitch, that was great. Oh, actually, you know what I liked? Bloody in the final fight, which, look, is not

good, is quite bad, but not good. It's quite bad. But when Superman comes back, because then Superman does a lot of Superman-y stuff, and that's the type of Superman-ing that we have not seen in this universe before. Superman being like, you're all tough. You got this. I'm going to go save people for a second, and I'll be back. True. That was all right.

He used his powers in a way that made sense. Yeah. Was this the first time we saw Freeze Breath? Yes. Yeah. Is this the first time that Superman has used freeze breath To his knowledge? That's my This is a thing that doesn't make sense Colm

Because I'm like I know I'm sorry I'm jumping a few things here But I'm like That's fair Did he When did he know he could do that? After he died? Is that now a

Is that what happens when you die? When he was hanging out with Lois in the cornfield He sneezed It was like Oh Lois Hey Lois I the cornfield, he sneezed. It was like... Oh! Lois! Hey, Lois, I couldn't do that last night.

But, yeah, yeah, like, that was a bit weird. Like, great that it happened, but also, like... Look, a lot of the things that I liked about this movie were also things that don't make sense. Actually, two categories kind of have the same. I liked the opening, despite the fact that instantly my eyes are just like, Superman's lip. But that opening, it's like, I mean, it's an attempt at a rat con. And look, I can see what you were going for.

You mentioned podcasts. They did. That's nice. It's for a podcast. But then it's like, we got a shout out. But then it's kind of like, they're done by eight-year-olds or ten-year-olds, so it feels more like a dick. But we know that if we asked Superman to be on our our podcast he'd be like oh that's all for a podcast all right uh actually one thing i've again sorry to keep jumping ahead um so they ask superman a

question um what was it uh what's the best thing about planet earth and he doesn't answer so i'm like that's very funny he doesn't answer that so of course i'm thinking of course film 101 he's gonna answer that at the end at some point you know that's gonna be a callback he's like you know the thing i love about like earth lois is is is something yeah yeah he doesn't yeah that's the kind of thing that he doesn't answer there's so many like smoking guns like you know like so many just checkoffs guns yeah checkoffs guns that are there that never get used checkoffs just been leaving shit everywhere in this movie and no one's been checking them up. Chekhov's bug spray for a bit.

I was thinking, oh, of course. That little girl, she's got bug spray. And because these creatures feed on fear, hope is what's going to cause them to die. So she's going to spray them, kind of like it, you know, with a puffer. Oh, spoilers. No, I don't know.

So kind of like with that. Oh, fuck. Spoilers for Justice League. Oh, yeah. Whoops. Spoilers. Hey, hey, hey? No, I don't know. So kind of like with that. Oh, fuck. Spoilers for Justice League. Oh, yeah. Whoops. Spoilers. Hey, hey, hey. New.

So with that, like, you know, hoping the bug spray would destroy the parademons, but it didn't. So I was just like, what? And like in the fist bump with Flash and Cyborg, like, oh, yeah, didn't quite work out. But I reckon it's going to come back. Oh, no. No. No.

You said it. Flash also calls it racially insensitive in the film he just says racially charged oh yeah that's right that's weird yeah

probably that's on you Flash I think and maybe in the rewrite be like do we need that do we need to bring it well no that was definitely

the rewrite like that it sounds like that was some weed in your oh Yossi boy wrote pretty much every single one of the

jokes jokes quotes no see this some you can tell are Zack Snyder esque but stuff like that for pretty much every single one of the jokes. See, there's some you can tell are Zack Snyder-esque, but stuff like that is not. Also, the opening credits of this movie is just

the Watchmen opening credits again. But worse. But worse because it's all like, Superman went, so homelessness and racism happened. And also, we think that David Bowie and Prince are aliens. That was a nice touch, because people were saying that David Bowie and Prince are aliens. That was a nice touch because people were saying that when Bowie died.

No one said that Prince was going back to space. That's all right. Because Prince is like, I get it. I don't know. Because it was a Lennon Cohen cover, yeah? Everybody knows, which is the theme song to True Detective Season 2. Don't open your film with that because it's got like instantly get flashback had recently died you then have like notions of like prince and

um bowie and you're like what are you trying to do like that's weird what do you well everybody knows is an upsetting song because it's just like everybody knows heroes lose but like yeah it was very like initially i'm like why is is this angry man yelling at Muslims? And what does this have to do with Superman? Yeah. And what is this homeless man being like? I tried. And what is that to do about Superman?

He tried what? And again, if this had been established in Man of Steel or BVS, that somehow Superman had cured racism, then I'm like, I get it. Weirdly that you're now linking racism to the fact that superman is no longer here wouldn't this opening sequence have been a great way to introduce in like a very subtle way some villains that you don't have to draw attention to down the track but you're like superman's gone so all of the bad blokes think that they can do what the fuck they like yeah cameo city yeah you know what would have been good? They did that with the Wonder Woman opening fight that has no consequence on the film

and in fact totally disregards what Bruce Wayne says later in the film, being like, you're retired. She clearly fucking didn't. She just stopped the bomb. Yeah, she's out and about. And this is the problem with Wonder Woman and they're having no overarching person looking at

this franchise. Because in the Wonder Woman film, she ends with being like, I'm going to be humanity's light. You know what I mean? And she's there fighting. Yet in BVS, she's like, I have retired. And then in this one, she was like, I still do it sneakily on the side in a full Amazonian armor.

But then somehow Bruce Wayne being like I've never seen you before Surely people did Well I mean Bruce Wayne's a pretty terrible Batman Just I mean like he's no good at it So maybe he just He just doesn't know It just seems to me that they want their cake And they eat it too you know what I mean

Make a fucking decision Did something tragic happen To Wonder Woman in World War 1 That made her hang up the lasso? I actually, I read an interview with somebody recently who worked on either Wonder Woman or part of the DC EU at large. And they were like, yeah, that was a mistake. We shouldn't have said that Wonder Woman retired. Oops.

Like, they just went out and were like, yeah, that doesn't really make sense. Yeah. Well, it fucking does. It's almost like that they weren't expecting, that doesn't really make sense. Yeah. Well, it's fucking dope. It's almost like that they weren't expecting Wonder Woman, the film, to do well. Yeah. But if they weren't expecting it, why would they even include the end where they're like, I'm going to be humanity-like? I don't know.

What? Anyway, things you like. Things you like. Things you like. You can go next. Did you finish? I didn't even start. I think I kind of started because I said I liked it.

Yeah, yeah. It's yours. You interrupted Jackson. You took it. It's good. Did I? Yeah. I can't even remember.

But that's fine. Just go. I can't remember what I was saying. You go. All right. I liked the opening Wonder Woman Themyscira sequence. It was all right. Oh, it was like the...

With all the... With the Amazonians. I didn't like that the armor had suddenly become more skimpy. It was all right. Oh, it was like the, with all the... With the Amazonians. I didn't like that the armor had suddenly become more skimpy. That was a shame. But I liked that they were like, the queen of the Amazons was like, fuck it.

Lock them in there. That's good. Yeah, that was cool. She's like, I'm willing to make that sacrifice because that's what it's all about. I'll make that sacrifice so the Steppenwolf doesn't...

That was sick. Unfortunately, the place had a big hole in the roof. So it's also a thing that doesn't make sense. But it was a good scene. It wasn't a hole, because I was watching for it this time. It's worse, because clearly it's natural sunlight,

so it looks like a giant glass ceiling. So it's not quite an open hole. That's a crying joke. But that was cool, and all the Amazonians there, their whole fucking job was just like slam those wooden things so they would shut.

That was cool. And they were all prepared. You're like, fuck yes, I love these Amazonians. I want more of this. They know what they're doing and that's cool.

They had a contingency plan, which is much more than could be said for the Atlanteans who were just like, fuck, we have two guys. We have like four guys.

The Amazons are like, we got a fucking whole system set up. They're like, we got four guys in Marrow. That is fair. What else did I like? It's hard. It's very hard. Did you like, people like The Flash. Did you like The Flash?

The Flash, you know me as a man who doesn't like quips. Buddy. I was dead by the end of this movie Zammett turned over to look at me And I was just a skeleton And Zammett said what happened? And my skeleton face clacked and clambered And was like quips And Zammett had to put me in a bin at the theatre Every time the flash opened his mouth I wished i was dead like i couldn't

stand it every line was like they were like and as like in the script it was like cyborg line superman line ezra miller joke just you make up the joke like you just said make up a joke here ezra miller and he just had to fucking he was was like, brunch, I just don't get it. You line up for an hour to have lunch. It just sounded like he was attempting, like working out his stand-up. Not even like he was doing it on stage. Like he was in front of the mirror being like, what's funny?

Brunch. I could do a thing on brunch, maybe. People line up for an hour. I mean, I could just... I feel like there's something there. Because when you make fun of brunch, no one's complaining that brunch is Lining up for too long

Like I can get a brunch without lining up Yeah that's not even a thing The thing is it's just Is he thinking about restaurants? Busy popular restaurants Is he mad at queues or brunch? He should be mad at queues Seems like he's either mad at queues or poor service

And he should, if he's going to be angry about brunch He should be like I'm a man with a lot of time. I want to eat breakfast and lunch. Yeah, yeah. Not too, and because also, because like he, he has to eat a lot, which is established in the same scene. So they probably could have done something with that. Something there.

Is he eating a lot or like, I don't know. I'm not a funny man, so I don't know how I can help do jokes. Something about waiting, waiting lines. You guys are lined up. Just like, yeah. Or just even a joke. You could, you know what? You guys are like, I've just seen a show of shit like that. Or just even a joke. You know what?

You combine the fact that he needs to eat a lot and that joke and reveal it at the same time to save yourself a scene. Because there's no reason for him to be outside except to say, I have to eat this pizza because moving fast makes me hungry. And then, yeah, they enter the car and what's your power? I'm rich. Ah, eggs. You know what's good about that?

Batman's now Iron Man. You know what's great about that? That's now Iron Man. You know what's great about that? That's a joke I've never heard before. I don't think anybody's ever made the very hilarious point that Batman has no powers but has a lot of money. That's fuck. That's good

stuff. Yes, every time the Flash said anything, it was just awful. Join the Avengers. Yes. Just leave it at that. Batman can be like, yeah, I'm in Join the Avengers, yes. Just leave it at that. Batman can be like, yeah, I'm in. Justice League, Jack. These are the Avengers. Whatever, it's still the same. Marvel do pay for us to do this podcast.

Superman's doing shit. What about Aquaman? People like Aquaman. I like the idea of Aquaman. Imagine if Aquaman had a Norwegian accent. And he'd been like, this is the town that I grew up in, so I just protect that town. He hadn't been like whatever he was meant to be, a rock and roll fish man. Yeah, I don't know.

Also, when he was like flying through the water, it looked really stupid. It kind of looked like he was being propelled by Fartin. It did. Did anyone else think that or just me? like he was being propelled by farting it did but did anyone else think that or just me because he was going he wasn't moving he was just he was very still going in a straight line and lots of bubbles every time i see any scene me less of farting and more of the famous the fame the famous ending of the spongebob squarepants film featuring david hasselhoff yeah yeah see every time every time I see Aquaman

in any of the scenes in the Justice League movie, I can't help but be like, how is that Aquaman movie gonna look good? How could they ever make... They clearly struggled to do any of the scenes underwater in any feasible way. How is an entire fucking

two hours, because let's be honest, it'll be two hours. At least. Justice League was two hours Because let's be honest it'll be two hours At least Just as it was two hours and felt like it went for all of my life Talk about things that don't make sense So as a fish man I'm going to put this here There's relevance So as a fish man

You live underwater yeah So you'd be more comfortable underwater And I'm assuming your whole society because you are fish people You'd be able to communicate. And I'm assuming your whole society, because you are fish people, you'd be able to communicate underwater. And so after a big fight where you're injured, you'd like to kind of be in a familiar kind of place, something you're comfortable with. Yeah.

So why does Mera open up an air bubble to talk to Aquaman and herself? My assumption was privacy, but that doesn't really make sense. Everyone else is dead. Yeah. Aquaman's half human, so is the implication of this movie that he can't talk underwater? That's pretty funny.

Someone's like, I've got no idea. Please make an air bubble. Again, I just don't understand the internal logic of this film, and I don just don't understand the internal logic of this film. I don't understand some internal logic of the Atlanteans. I fucking love that this means that the Aquaman movie can't be an origin movie. And it needs to be an origin movie.

I feel, I don't know, I think DCEU are in such a, and this has been said so many times, but they're in such a rush to match what Marvel are doing. They're like, what's that? Marvel already have their Avengers film. We've only got to make sure we get our Justice League film, so fuck all the origin stories. And you're like, I'm not a fan of origin stories. I think they've been done to death.

But sometimes you're like, no, you kind of need some. I think the reason origin stories have been done to death, I don't want to see another Spider-Man origin movie. I don't know. Think about it. What comes with great power? Spiders. But I just would, because like, okay, guys,

can you tell me the origin of Aquaman? He's, yeah. So his dad lives on a lighthouse. Yeah. And fell in love or banged a- I thought you were going to say fell in the sea. Fell in the sea. Did a cum as he landed.

Did a big cum. There was a mermaid there. She was like, oh, I want this. She laid some eggs. The semen just kind of floated down, landed. Gently landed on top. The semen semen. Yep.

Best joke I'm ever going to make. The mermaid came back and was like, with her merman lover, and was like, I need you to fertilize this. Oh, boy! There's already a boy growing! And then hilarity ensued. Yeah, well, basically.

Yeah, no, point proven, Simon. Don't do that origin story. Fuck it off, I guess. It's funny just to imagine that origin on a poster, though. Lightkeeper did a big cum in the sea. Seaman had a seaman. And now

his son is Aquaman. I really like to imagine it just says Aquaman and then it says, find out what cum can become. See what a semen semen can really become but spelled c-u-m if someone could make a poster

of that please I'd be very happy we don't usually call out for fan art and honestly if we've still got people listening at this point to this episode on ya what happened find out what what happens to a semen semen episode on you but yeah what happened find out what what fuck i can't remember what it's what happens to a semen semen no what semen semen what can a semen semen truly become cum that'd be

perfect amazing aquaman yeah and then again like coming in 2018 oh fuck yeah aquaman though he just he just felt like a dumb jock Yeah and like Because I'm such a DC fanboy all of these characters are really Rich with like story potential And they're flawed and they're interesting Aquaman's great because Aquaman is like Well I'm not I mean it sounds stupid but he's like

I'm not a man of the sea or the land And that's kind of a really fun thing to explore Where he's like I'm completely separate from the two places Where I should be welcomed. And he mentions that. Like he mentions sort of not being part of one or the other. And there is this kind of like, he mentions him not belonging. And it's kind of like, please, let's kind of pull this thread.

But he kind of acts like a child doing a tantrum at times. And you're like, I would expect this from a teen. This might be my most hated scene in the film because it's just aggravatingly stupid because they didn't need it. How he's like, he opens up to the team and then Bruce Wayne's like, oh, hang on a second.

And it turns out he's sitting on the lasso of truth or whatever the fuck it's called. That was infuriating. Yep. No, oh, can we just talk about how- Why did Wonder Woman leave that lying around? She drops her sword at one point in a fight in the sewers, and I'm just like, where did that sword go?

Also, it's like- She drops off a cliff to get it. When was that sword made that it was important? Oh, yeah, actually, that's a good question. Because that's not the same sword from the Wonder Woman film. Also, it turns out that there wasn't a sacred sword. It was her. Yeah, that's right. Because like how Thor is actually his hammer, Wonder Woman is. And also, it turns out that there wasn't a sacred sword, it was her. Yeah, that's right. Because like how

Thor is actually his hammer, Wonder Woman is actually her sword. Yeah, so like, why was she like, oh shit, I gotta get my sword. Spoilers for Thor Ragnarok. But why was she so... I don't know. I also hated that fucking scene, dude. Sorry, with that lasso, because you're like, do we really need more people sexualizing

Wonder Woman? Yep. Because there was a lot of that in this film, and it made me kind of uncomfortable. It's weird that this sexualizing Wonder Woman. Yeah. Because there was a lot of that in this film, and it made me kind of uncomfortable. It's weird that this film positioned Wonder Woman as, like, King Babe of the Justice League, but also everyone's mom. Yeah. That's a real good job getting, like,

the two gender stereotypes and being like, and our girl character will be all. Yeah, because it kind of, like, every... Fuck, every kind of... There's so just many gratuitous art shots yeah and it's ridiculous the point where you actually just see cheeks at one point and then you got flash lying on top of her with his head on her titties and then acting all like coy that he did it and then you've got aquaman being like i want to fucking finger you

good and you're like why why was this was this needed? That was a weird quote. It took me out of the film a bit. Yeah. I was like, geez, steady on. And then you've basically got like- Bruce Wayne. Oh, actually Alfred's like- Alfred being like, oh, I'm glad someone's going to date.

No, she's meeting a fucking cyborg man, you piece of shit. Oh, I forgot cyborg was in this movie. He's easy to forget. Brooding plot device is his new name. Please tell me, Adam pointed this out, can you name one line that Cyborg did that wasn't exposition? Oh, wait. One of the grave digging scene.

Yeah, that's right. There's a conversation there that isn't't because flash is doing the exposition yeah also he does say boo yeah at the end and that's the next position that's just an exclamation that's from fuck that's from deal or no deal that's a good australian reference um are there any more things i liked in this movie? No. I liked that they gave it, and it's not like because it's good, it's like because it's funny. I like the amount of stuff they gave with no... Mother boxes and boom tubes.

Did you know that the tubes they go down are called boom tubes, Dushan? Because they're called boom tubes. I did know that, and it's something that's real good. And also, Steppenwolf. Steppenwolf. Also, it's Steppenwolf, but they say Steppenwolf at least once. Did you just poke yourself in the eye?

No. I wish. How much did this film feel like when they were writing it? They were like, all right, so we're having a unique new rule For writing this movie No one's allowed to talk to each other until the movie's done No one's allowed to talk to each other and you can't say no Someone's like

I've got this great scene for Aquaman Where he kind of gives a bit of backstory About himself and where he feels like he fits in the world And someone's like what if he says Wonder Woman's a babe And someone's like well we can't say no yes what if he's sitting in the lasso that's funny all right kind of takes away the punch of yeah but we can't say no sure that maybe superman felt like that too or actually maybe that's just the dc writing rule no nose man of steel was too many nose yeah no nose no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no funny i just imagine it like written in a little piece of paper on the wall like i don't know No-nose? Yeah. No-nose. No-nose anymore. Oh, fuck. No-nose is so funny.

I just imagine it written in a little piece of paper on the wall. I don't know. Someone's like, what if the power demon explodes into three boxes? I don't know if that's a good idea. And he just taps. No-nose. It's funny because they picked everybody knows as the theme song.

I hope they thought that it was spelled N-O. Everybody knows. Everybody knows in brackets. No-nose. No-nose no that's the end of things I like the last scene in the end credits because it was good to see my boy Lex Luthor back being fucking weird

that was great what if we made a hey Deathstroke welcome to my boat I broke out of Arkham for some reason I'm in Arkham. Oh, Batman arrested him. That makes sense. I didn't even think about that.

But that's not how... No, no. But I was in Gotham. Yes, right. But Arkham is for the criminally insane. One, it's an insane asylum. And two, the person who arrests you doesn't dictate the prison you go to. Should he have gone to basically white-collar crime?

Yeah. What did he do? He should be in a minimum security prison. Well, he made Doomsday, so it's probably reckless endangerment. Then he shouldn't be in Arkham. Then he should be in a military prison. Yeah. It was war crimes. He committed war crimes. But Batman's the one who put him away, so Batman gets to choose. Yeah, I guess. That's the justice system. And that worked well, because clearly

there was a Joker interference. Yep. Good shit. Deathstroke was there. It's funny that, wait, does that mean Suicide Squad happens and fucking Lex is just like, what's going on out there? Actually, that's a- I mean, you would have not.

Imagine that reveal, though, being like, yeah, Lex Luthor's part of the Suicide Squad. That would be amazing! Like, if the Su- fuck, rather than, like, um, bloody Deathstroke, of the suicide amazing like if this fuck rather than like um bloody death stroke it had been like a suicide squad yeah i would have been like you know what fine i'll accept imagine if it was harley quinn people would have bloody did a come yeah oh yeah so i worked so i mean this episode's going up today presumably so i worked last night which was the opening saturday of justice league opening sunday of justice league and people screamed in the cinema when they saw death's

well this is a movie that i've seen because you know like like people message me and stuff and people are like this movie wasn't wasn't bad but like was a lot better than the others that's amazing that's an amazing opinion to have yeah because it has exactly the same problems as Suicide Squad. It and Suicide Squad are made from the same mold. There is way too much studio interference. The two directors are very obvious. They're overcorrecting. So like, obviously they added a heaps more Wonder Woman into this.

Yeah, yeah. But it doesn't make sense. I'm almost certain that... I'd be surprised if they were going to resurrect Superman in this film. They weren't going to. I'd be surprised. No, because going to resurrect Superman in this film. They weren't going to? I'd be surprised. No, because it was going to be a two-parter. So I think the original idea was Superman comes back and that's a bigger deal.

Yeah. And I reckon he wouldn't have ended with that fight. I reckon he wouldn't have turned good in this film. No, no. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. It might have been all them just punching the shit out of Superman. Batman v Superman 2. Yeah.

The JL v Superman. Dusk of Justice. Duskus. Diskus. 1996 Olympic World Champion of Diskus. Yeah. The Amazonians

are like, Diskus, we can do this. We remember the Olympics. That was great. That's when all those nude men wrestled. And then we get two hours of nude wrestling. See, I just don't... What else did you like? What else did you like? Come on.

Do I have to pick one more thing? Yeah, at least one. Or if not, then I guess that was it. No, I reckon I can dig. I like that... Yeah, I already said that I like superman in it but i liked that him and flash had a race to save people i liked that him and flash had a race all right i liked how wrong flash looked at running he looks so wrong i like that they were like we would love to do the slow-mo thing, but clearly age of a... No. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

The sword scene is almost exactly the same as Quicksilver's scene from any of the X-Men films, but worse. Yeah, I like there are several scenes in this film where you're like, oh, X-Men did this better. Oh, the Matrix did this better back in 1999. There is two separate scenes where someone dodges a bullet that wasn't going to hit them. Yeah.

It's true true Superman does it and Wonder Woman does it there's two points where there's where they're just like no actually one of my favourite scenes

so it's Wonder Woman in a cave and she's talking to a computer yeah and the computer pops up so I'm not okay I'm okay I'm

I'm a studio exec and I'm like alright cool you're like a year 10 graphics student hey how you doing I'm like alright so I need you

to come up with like a year 10 graphics student. Hey, how you doing? I need you to come up with a script, a font, basically some design for a computer talking to a person. I need this done pretty much in an hour and a half. Now, what design choice do you... What colour do you go with and what font do you

go with? Well, I guess I'm terrible at my job, even though I'm in year 10 and should somehow know better. And I'm going to say a black background. White writing. Yes. Times New fucking Roman. Size 14

font, baby. Yeah. Centered, though. Centered. Yeah, of course. Absolutely. It's like the exact, like, we're not impressed. Year 10 just, like, like scroll up and click centered. They're like. But what's even better. Was it Times New Roman or was it aerial?

I was trying to like work that today because I'm like, it's a default font. I think it's aerial. All right. But imagine that scene in universe. You're a cyborg and you're like, I'm chatting to Wonder Woman. How am I going to do it? Not. So he chose a black background and white aerial.

You know what else is good? Why, okay, if font comes up on your computer and it's talking to you, why do people in movies just assume that they can just talk to the screen? Also, another point, does that mean that he had bugged the Batcave or are there microphones fucking everywhere

in the Batcave? No, so that's a good point. I'm going to shoot microphones everywhere for some reason there's security cameras everywhere. Yeah, security cameras don't necessarily record sound. No, in fact, most of them don't. So I'm like, is he reading lips? Is he reading lips good?

You know what I actually did like in this movie? A computer would have a microphone built in, surely. Oh, wait. Alfred uses a microphone all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably would. It might have sounded real distant because she wasn't talking. She didn't know where it was.

It was still a weird assumption of hers. No, a scene I didn't hate in this movie, or not even a scene, a bit of a scene. Batman's weird walking tank. Oh, the Nightcrawler? That was very, like, later days Batman. When he's an old man and he's like, I'm no good anymore. I need, like, a big machine to help me out. That was cool.

What did he use it for? I assume it was just like... And it doesn't make sense because later he just does it as him. But I liked it as, like, I have to level the playing field because I'm just a dude. But it wasn't that. But that's what I thought it was going to be. But then later on he just like grappling hooks everywhere but if he'd been like clearly like i don't know in the comics all the time he's like i'm an old man and dying so i've built a suit of armor like an iron man

suit that i can kick around in i thought it was gonna be like that no it wasn't though it wasn't in fact it was i i didn't like that scene that the first gets called out because it's really slow and the fight is pretty far away from the Batcave, but by the time it gets there it's gonna be done. That's true. Yeah, where did it start? The Batcave, but then they had to get to the Steppenwolf sewer. He was fighting in the sewer.

I don't remember. I genuinely don't remember. Yep. Well, out of the Batcave, presumably. Does that mean it has to walk through the street? I thought it was in the bottom of, like, where they were. But, like, where was it there? Wasn't it in the... I just assumed it was the bat cave.

I assumed it was in the bottom of, like... No, wait. No, I didn't... No. Wasn't the fight where they dropped the mother box in the goo? No. What were they doing in the sewer? This was, like, when they first fight Steppenwolf.

Yeah, but why are they in the sewer? Because Steppenwolf is in the sewer. Why is he in the sewer? Because he had kidnapped a bunch of lads. Oh, he's kidnapping Starcorp. So they're under Starcorp, so they're in Metropolis. No. Under Gotham Harbour.

Oh, yeah, it's underneath Gotham Harbour. Gotham Harbour is on... Metropolis is on the other side of Gotham Harbour. Don't you remember? Mid-city is in the... It's a big bay. Yeah, and Mid-city's in the middle. Yeah, of course. No the middle They were under Star Labs

And Star Labs they say in the film is where Zod's body is Because again we have to use the same So they were under that So that means to get from the Batcave In Gotham that had to go That just doesn't make sense I found another thing I don't like About this film

Or things that don't make sense. Things we didn't like. The pacing, the acting, the script, the editing. Basically, just go to your year 12 media thing and find components of a film.

Tick them. Them. Them. I'm going to go through some of my notes. Please. That'll cover a lot of ground. hang on. There is one thing I like.

Yeah. I think the casting was pretty spot on. Yeah, no, I'm with you. Not for Flash. Why? No,

that's very Flash. Hmm? That's pretty good for Flash. Yeah, and they needed that, because they can't have like another, especially by having Cyborg as like a key. Otherwise,

we'd have a justice league is comprised of Wonder Woman and Batman, both who are leaders. But for some reason, that's another thing I reckon they added into the film because it keeps saying that Wonder Woman should be the leader, but she's just not, they never address it.

Like it's just a thing that keeps being said. I reckon those dialogue, that those dialogues were added. Yeah. Good one. It's almost like I wrote the script for this film. And then you've got two guys that were dead and no longer dead

but then you'd also have three jocks yeah and that's it I don't know I didn't like Ezra Miller's performance I didn't like that

he played it like he yeah yeah just that kind of tries to be jokey but not yeah yeah yeah has no social cues

but I put that down to script rather than Ezra Miller his eyes were stressful because every time he said something, he, like, looked around the entire room and the camera didn't cut. He's kind of like, again, a comedian doing a bad joke and then looking around. Kind of like you look at that land.

And the director's just like shrugged. I don't know. Jack, you're more familiar with The Flash. Yeah. So is he like a Peter Parker kind of character? Well, yeah, kind of. I mean, I kind of don't really like The Flash, but yeah, he's sort of got that like,

yeah, that kind of Peter Parker, like just like a young guy, but then also like it gets all goofy with like Speed Force and time travel and shit. But yeah, basically that's kind of who The Flash is. He's the jokester. He's the goofy one of the gang. Okay.

No, that was all right. I think... Don't get me wrong. Ezra Miller was bad. But, like, that's kind of spot on. I think Ben Affleck as Batman was always a good choice. I'm a big fan of Batfleck. But, like, you clearly see he was looking for an exit in every shot he was in.

Yeah. There's a lot of... I don't want to be here. Gal Gadot, I'm still not entirely sure. She's winning me over more and more like films she does. Because I can look at this versus Wonder Woman. I'm like, okay, so I guess a very good, competent director for Wonder Woman did a really good performance.

This one, you're like, oh. Yeah. She actually dresses very, very similar to how she dresses in Fast and the Furious when she's in her casual clothes in this. That's funny. I'm expecting a crossover. At this point, Fast and the Furious when she's in her casual clothes in this. I'm expecting a crossover. At this point, Fast and the Furious films,

their superpower is driving cars, yes. Watching this movie, I kept thinking that this movie seems like it's aimed at the kind of audience that people think the Fast and the Furious franchise is aimed at. Do you know what I mean? People say Fast and the Furious and you imagine people who are like, fuck yeah, there's a fight happening, oh my god. mean? People say Fast and the Furious and you imagine people who are like, fuck yeah, there's a fight happening.

Oh my god. But actually, the Fast and the Furious franchise is amazing. They keep accidentally making a billion dollars even though they're making a film for one person and that one person is Joel Dushan. I'm going to pitch you a film.

I'm listening. I'm already in. Imagine a bunch of guys. Imagine them eight times as muscly as you just imagined them. Done. Shave their heads. Alright. They're so good at driving cars. Now imagine these cars.

They're so good at driving them, they can drive them out of buildings and into other buildings. You've sold me. Also, they fight a bit. They're all bold. And imagine a complicated mythology has been built around these characters and the people they fight a bit. They're all bold. And imagine a complicated mythology has been built around these characters and the people they fight.

It's basically... Nothing is more important to them than family also. I'm in. Again, you sold me before you even began. But I'm in. Vince? Vince. Vince Diesel. Vince Vaughn looks like... I felt like you were going to say Vince Colosimo. I think I was going to say Vince Vaughn.

I almost said it again. Diesel at this point just looks like a bicep Yeah His entire body is a bicep He's a muscle with arms and legs Do you know what? Dream casting Fast and Furious 9 Mark Wahlberg shaved head Aw yes please But if he fucking rocks up with hair

Get him off set No thank you Overall casting I thought was good But I felt some of it was not I didn't like Cyborg But I don't know if Cyborg was even there What's not to love literally he's barely there JK Simmons as Gordon

I felt that was wasted Again Lois Lane Who cares Like please She won an Academy Award Amy Adams She was very good in Arrival Which is a film that people

Why is she bad in this Arrival is a film that everyone was like fuck yeah And everyone was like wait actually it's bad No actually it's good Yeah not saying that So some of the things. I was going to guess my list. Because it's also in chronological order as well,

so hopefully it'll all make sense. So when it's just like, in the Wonder Woman fight, the guy's like, I don't believe it. And Wonder Woman's like, I'm a believer. In what? What was she responding to? Can someone ask me this? Also, when she slams her gauntlets together,

there was hostages around. That's going to cause damage. Yeah. She does it a lot. That's a go-to move in this film. But every single time she does it, it's like, she's like, oh, yeah. What's very frustrating is that in the Wonder Woman movie, it's like establishes that that is a like, holy shit.

Look the fuck out move. Especially an atomic bomb. Yeah. When Superman comes back, she does it to him and literally nothing happens no he stops her yeah great that's he puts his hand in between his superman is notoriously good against magic that's a it's not like the point of the trinity in dc comics is that they kind of rock paper scissors one another no no. That'd be ridiculous. Again, the fight on the rooftop with Batman. And he just name drops Alfred in front of a criminal.

So that scene, because this guy, he's in Mindhunter, which is a Netflix series, which I fucking love. And he's one of the main characters. This is a bloody episode of Plumbing the Dust, not an ad for Netflix. Am I right? Anyway, watch Mindhunters. It's good.

This is a paid advertisement for Netflix. And so that moment where he's like the guy's like, what was that? And then kind of Batman doesn't really reply to him or like he sort of semi does. I was like, oh, it was set up by Batman. This whole thing. He works for Batman. He didn't. He was just

a random criminal that he's happy to name drop Alfred to. What the fuck? So Batman says Alfred in front of a criminal. Yep. Aquaman calls Bruce Wayne Batman in front of a village. Yes. I think

Lois Lane calls Superman Clark in front of the police. There's a lot of that happening in this series. If you just assume that this version of Batman is an incompetent Batman, it's kind of fine. He's just no good at his job. So many things keep surprising him

in this movie, and the good of Batman, surely, is that he's always prepared. Not in this film. This film, he's often under-prepared. There's also a plotline in this film that makes it seem like Batman's going to get framed for the parademon stuff. Like like literally goes nowhere they bring it up in one scene

and they put a heaps of emphasis on the drawing of it and how it looks like Batman and people like after 20 years this world's gone crazy and maybe he has too but in the last film he had gone crazy he was branding people what Jake

fucking Commissioner Gordon, pay attention. Keep up. And again, the Parademons already being there, and again, if we're going to look at, say, BVS, because again, he had that dream of being in the future, and there was Parademons around, and he woke up like, whoa, what a nightmare

I had. And then seeing those nightmare creatures, you're not telling me he would be a little bit freaked out? Because when has it ever been established that batman was a seer it's kind of it's kind of crazy that batman is like okay i had this vision flash hey flash how you doing yeah i had a vision of you that's crazy but so i had this vision of flash coming to me and showing me power demons and an evil superman and he's like let's bring back Superman. Why would that ever be your plan? Well, because I was chatting to someone about this, and they were saying that whole, you know,

because Flash is like, Lois is the key or whatever. Is that like when he was like, I've got to bring the big guns out, Lois. Was that that moment? Was that the key? No, how could that have? That just wouldn't make any sense. Because if Lois hadn't been there, would Superman have gone crazy? They could have...

Is that what they were inferring? They should have definitely put more emphasis on that. Well, no, it wasn't. Because in Flashpoint... No, because... So there's a version of the Superman Justice League world where Joker tricks Superman into killing Lois Lane. And that's where Lois Lane is the key. That's what I I assume and I think it's got to do with the Flash as well

so I assume that's the storyline they were gonna do but then maybe when they realized they couldn't do that they did like Lois is now the key to bringing Superman back from his craziness but also in that scene Superman didn't know who Batman was yeah where he knows who Bruce Wayne is already yeah look if they put that no they can't because they just did Parademon

what the fuck has anyone at DC seen the previous DC film before they make that Zack Snyder made both no no also when previous DC film before they make Zack Snyder made both no no no no also when lighting up in the queue

to see adult Flash and he's like draws the glasses on the mate there's no lightning there's no speed force going on why was there no speed force there's a twitch you see his hand yeah but there's no speed force like everything else he does he's always always shooting off lightning

Which I feel is dangerous to have him around But anyway, apart from that Just something I noticed Why wasn't there just a bit of a Anyway I like that in people going for like Man, there's this mystery fire On the TV, the news

Like fucking mystery fire There's this woman swearing at TV. The news, like, fucking mystery fire. There's this woman swearing at an alien for stealing her husband. Oh, yeah, she threatens to anally probe an alien. Double bill. That was classic Yoss there. Yeah. Vintage. Also, don't call your cameras Batcave.

I just felt that would be silly. Yeah, look, that was funny. Someone is hacking into your system, and they just notice, hey, these cameras, what's their name? Batcave? Hey, that's Bruce. If someone is hacking into your system and they just notice, hey, these cameras, what's their name? Batcave, that seems... Hey, that's Bruce Wayne. That seems strange. Weird.

What? And with Wonder Woman knowing most of this plot, why isn't she the driving force behind this film? It's bizarre that she isn't. That really should have been that whole thing there. Just because she's already got a connection to the mother boxes, you could have started with that light happening at the fucking museum and Wonder Woman being like, oh, shit,

I've got to get a whole bunch of people together, like I got the gods together, or like the Amazons got the gods together back in the day. But these are the new gods of the world. Steppenwolf is a new god. So is Darkseid. The new new god. So is Darkseid. The new new god. No, no.

Also, speaking of old mate, I reckon they've abandoned Darkseid. There is not a single mention of him. No, there is. There is. Is there? There is. They mention Apocalypse.

I actually mention him by name. Yeah. They do say, like, he's Lord Darkseid. Yeah. They do actually mention it. He's coming, but they blew their load with Steppenwolf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because how will Darkseid, what can he do that is a bigger threat than, you know what I mean?

Destroy the world. Like what? Well, I mean, I'm sure Deathstroke will be just as big of a threat. He'll make a machine. They always make a machine in DC movies. It's always a machine that's being made. It's always a machine to make the our earth look like their earth everybody's trying to terraform which either means earth is real good or real

shit i haven't quite decided yet i don't know with real shit it's a garbage planet because they're like is this not like locations are good but it could be better all right um oh other thing you know so as steppenwolf gets attacked by the parademons who because they can smell his fear so that means that steppenwolf at that in the parademons because they can smell his fear. So that means that Steppenwolf, in that moment, was actually literally more afraid than a whole family who were being terrorized by

parademons for like a week. Yeah. And because his axe broke. So he was actually more scared because his axe broke than a six-year-old seeing literal demons. Also, who made that boom tube?

That's again him. Because Stephan says he's been exiled. He's like, I was exiled, so who controls the boom tube? There's a boom tube. Guess, Dusha, here's a fun game to play. Guess how you make a boom tube. Okay. Motherboxes? You need a mother box on either end.

But he had all three on one end. He sure did. Oh. Is there a fourth one? No. There's actually like eight in the comics and they are nebulous in power there as well. Nobody knows what they do.

They're like a MacGuffin box. Mother box is something that shouldn't be said out loud. Also, Steppenwolf speaks about it like it's his actual mother. Yeah, he does. I like that. He calls it mother sometimes. It's just strange. It's just very strange.

Also, when Commissioner Gordon calls to Batman and then everyone shows up, do you reckon Gordon, and he just accepts that all with like no special change. He's like, sick, there's more. If I was Gordon, I'd be like, what the fuck is going on? Who's she? Who's he?

What? Metal lad. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And in that scene we've all seen from the trailer, how did they all vanish? None of them bar Batman is a stealthy character So how did Cyborg and Wonder Woman vanish? Wonder Woman probably just jumped

She was up She was in the sky if they'd waited a little bit longer As soon as Commissioner Gordon turned They all just looked at each other and gave each other a knowing nod And were like, now we go The only person that could have Actually disappeared in that time Was Flash

Or did Flash just grab everyone Move them and then come back Like oh that's rude And then And then we're just missing a scene Of like the three of them Being like What the fuck did you do

Why I hadn't finished talking to the It's gonna look weird if we go back Cause I don't Just I don't understand How that all happened Also that's a reference Basically

To the Nolanverse? Yeah, Nolan's Batman Because that was a running gag there That he kept disappearing It's not actually a running gag in the comics ever Same universe, confirmed Well I think that this Batman Is like the Clooney Batman

And Robin Batman Purely because they keep talking about his past escapades as though they're really goofy. Alfred's like, wasn't it nice when it was just exploding penguins, Batman? Can you imagine exploding penguins in this movie? No. So that means that this Batman's like, I remember when I was fighting Like a goofy Penguin and now Like I like that the bat cave had a bat problem Like there were actual bats there

That's good Like a hassle because I'm sure they are Full of rabies and shit everywhere Bats are notorious for shitting Guano Harvest it Also I like when again Under the

Under the Gotham Harbour An Aquaman just rocks up Everyone is like He knew where they were He knows where they were But everyone Because he could talk to the ocean

Or some shit The fish were like They're down here bro Nah but he can't talk to the fish He talks to the ocean And uses currents or some shit But like No one else

On the flip side No one's like What are you doing here Everyone's like Yeah what's going on Hey Aquaman We assumed you'd come eventually Because you're on the flip side, no one's like, what are you doing here? Everyone's like, yeah, what's going on? Hey, Aquaman, we assumed you'd come eventually because you're on the movie poster. Yeah.

And when they're discussing Superman being resurrected and Aquaman's like, you can't just bring someone back from the dead. They lose something. How does he know? It's not even like a thing in the comics where he brings back his dad or his mom. How does Aquaman... Has he done it before?

Because that seems like now would be the time to divulge his information, Aquaman. I have a theory about Superman's resurrection and why it goes wrong. All right, so when Clark Kent's dead body gets lowered into the pierce, did you notice what else falls into the water? The mother box? No. What? It's a photo of Jonathan Kent.

Oh, yes. A notorious bad bloke. So I think what happens is the mother box combines the two, creates an evil Superman who then has to shake. Just like the 2000 Herbie the Love Bug movie. Where we discover that Herbie was created by somebody making a car juice and then a portrait of his beloved falling in. And then an evil Herbie is made. Herbie.

Herbie. Herbie. An evil Herbie is made by the similar process, but it's a photo of an evil, a bad bloke. So they're using Herbie the Love Bug rules is that herbie fully loaded no it's the one before herbie fully loaded with bruce campbell yeah oh and the bad bloke makes a bad herbie because he's like how did they make herbie the first time i gotta make another herbie and they're like well he put in the car juice something he loved very dearly and then the bad boy puts a picture of himself in it because he loves himself and makes like a herbie clone of him that's

that movie's fucking amazing bruce campbell is only in good things but so i guess the implication there is that superman was made by herbie rules yeah um jonathan kent and yeah yeah also also in And Jonathan Kenton, yeah. Yeah. Also in that scene, so after he gets resurrected, because he's wearing a full suit, and then he loses his jacket, his shirt, his tie, and his shoes, but he keeps on his pants. Yeah. He also loses his socks. Didn't want his cock out, I guess. Or anything like knees or shins.

It just seems odd that they didn't get blown away. Yeah. Like, they either have tattered they didn't get blown away. Yeah. Like, either have tattered rags. I assume he was hot. That's my theory. And, like, I know that they wanted a shirtless Superman, but just put him in jocks. Yeah.

Pants, for the British listeners. Dungarees. Derps. So you're confused because he said he kept his pants on, but he also kept his trousers on. We're back fresh from the UK with fresh hot lingo for you. He kept his trousers on, but in Australia he kept his pants on. But I wish he had just kept his underwear on in the UK, his pants.

Now everyone's on the same page? Yep. In the US they call it jock straps. They don't. That's a different thing. I like that Superman picked up his head statue and threw it at Wonder Woman. That's good. That was neat. But also, I'm mad at the city for not cleaning that up.

Superman died. No one's doing anything. Racism's back, didn't you hear? Everybody knows. No-no's. No-no's. Also, did Wonder Woman know that Superman's name was Kal-El? Because she's really very much like, Kal-El, don't. Maybe someone told her.

Which is weird, because she's ancient, I get that. But someone told her. Which is weird because she's ancient, I get that. But Superman's not. He's only been on Earth for fucking 20 minutes. Also, Kryptonians, right? Are they notorious for being Superman? Like as in real powerful and strong? Well, if you remember the start of

Man of Steel, when Russell Crowe was playing basically Superman on Krypton. He doesn't have powers, but he kind of does. So like, when Steppenwolf is like, oh, a Kryptonian He's probably not expecting to get hit that hard but he's expecting to get hit. Wait, does he just

say that when he sees, I guess he sees Superman's ass. Yeah, he's like, oh, Kryptonian. Ah, hope. Kryptonian for hope. River, I get it. Actually, that's, I like the opening, I think we said that already. This episode's been going too long.

So I'm going to wrap it up with one thing that I think didn't make sense unless you've got a strong finish. Because it's something we haven't touched

on. There's so much to How long have we been going for? Not a lot, an hour. All right, keep going. When again, when

they fight. We can make this episode longer than the movie. I reckon people will be into it. So, so again again with the mother box So okay

There's three mother boxes You know the villain has two And you're like shit if he gets the last one We're fucked We've got the last one sick We're going to use it to resurrect our old mate It one goes flying And so they're like sick it went flying

There's five of us Should any of us look at the the cube nah let's all just go it's super leave it on a truck leave on a leave on a truck it's fine that's the man then you just in one of like i want to say the worst bit of editing i think i've seen in this film which is surprising yeah yeah you just see a boom tube bar is low yeah you just see a boom tube just kind of go behind a building. And they're like, Steppenwolf grabbed it. But how did... They don't know that he did, but I'm guessing he did. Also, like, why is Steppenwolf both a physical threat but also sneaky? I don't understand the...

Because if you're going to do... Like, try and do one or the other. Like, the moment he gets the mother box and then he's like, whoop, off he goes. But he's shown to be very powerful. Like, at the start with the Amazonians, he grabs the mother box and the boom tube's coming it's like well why isn't he sitting like fuck it i'll take you on and just start having some havoc there um but instead he doesn't he's a bit very sneaky and the whole thing where he's like when i get the mother box you're gonna you're gonna love me that didn't play into it no parademons were once lads that

weren't parademons but like It's not really touched upon It's kind of weird that they're all trying Basically killing people that were once Not humans but human-esque It's just sort of quite Like a lot of It's another Chekhov's gun That just is left laying there for no good reason

And again it's sort of like At the very end They were just sort of standing around And watching their villain get eaten alive and that's just stone fucking cold man like christ almighty you're meant to be superman well look they like all right let's just stop that like and again we talk about villains getting killed or like whatever it's like i didn't shoot you the gun show you it's fine um but would it be nice for superman to kind of take the higher road and try and save stepping with that thing and then

superman killed zod yeah no justice league character in in this universe is like afraid of murder speaking and also last point my last point space plants We now have space plants. Yeah, I don't know why they did that. Russia's space planty now. So this is a foreign flora in our atmosphere and our biosphere. I wonder if they're doing it to bring in Swamp Thing, maybe. So that seems like a hassle. Swamp Thing Russian? No.

But it just seems like the kind of thing. Well, no, to be honest, I don't think I'll ever touch on it again. I'm fairly sure this is the last we'll see of Russia's space plans Also Again this movie makes BVS Retroactively even worse Because there's just so many things Like plot threads or whatever

Like the whole dirt rising in Superman's grave Actually nothing Because Superman definitely dead The dirt rising was like what a truck going by I don't give a Magnet for dirt There was like what a truck going by i don't magnet but for dirt there was also a conversation where he could have been like i wasn't actually dead or i was but it was like a kryptonian coma thing but no he's just like i was dead to be honest though they were like kryptonian coma i'd be like don't have him that's so many ways you

could bring him back also like fucking cyborg died and got brought back by a mother box and now so did Superman but Superman's fine but Cyborg is not fine. That's not fair. I just imagine you saying that to like they're in a line and you're like pointing them. Cyborg got brought back

by a mother box. Look at him. He's not fine. This is not okay. Cyborg's like sad. Superman's not fine. This is not okay. Cyborg's like, sad? Superman's doing great. Cyborg. Whoa. That's fucked. Have you looked at him?

Red. Dude. If you haven't, don't. Oh, it's gross. Why did he look like that? Why did he look like that? You know what would be good if we made him look like garbage. Actual moving garbage.

The strangest thing is that he'd be so easy to practical effect to make a costume. Yeah. Like, that's not hard. But instead they made him look like fucking tinfoil for some reason. That's most of my gripe. The gripe I wanted to end on, I won't, like I remember something else first. Because there's a big part

that's like a DC fucking fanboy thing that we haven't mentioned at all yet. So I'll save that for last. Because it is, I get it, but also it's very fucking dumb. But also, Wonder Woman moves fast enough in this film to stop a machine gun from firing

a meter into a crowd. That makes her as fast as Superman in The Flash, my friend. Sure does. The power scale in this film makes no sense. Everyone is as fast. Also, the whole thing being like, who's faster, Flash or Superman? Superman caught up to the Flash. We're already running. It's Superman.

Superman's faster. It's been established. There it is, right there. Also, again, when you had... Fuck. This game talked about practical effects versus CGI. You had Steppenwolf's helmet fall, and it just looked weightless. You could have gone... Just drop a helmet. Just drop a helmet. Surely that would have been

easier. Also, it's Deppamorf's helmet, and it's funny because it would have been a sheer coincidence, but that helmet looks very similar to the thing that causes Ragnarok in Thor Ragnarok. And it's almost exactly the same thing. You defeat him, he turns into a helmet. That's true.

He didn't turn into a helmet. Deppamorf just went home. Yeah, and I guess threw his helmet in disgust. Yeah, and had his helmet fall down. The boom ch- Hang on. The people in Apocalypse are just going to see Steppenwolf's body eaten by parademons and be like, what happened?

Where's his hat? Wait! He was exiled. Yeah. Where's he going? That's my point. That's my fucking- Where's he been? When he's not on Earth

Where is he? And he waited for Superman to be Oh yeah that's how I knew about a Kryptonian Because he waited for Superman to be dead before he came to Earth But what about like in the 80s When there wasn't a Superman He wasn't ready He needed an extra 20

Maybe he was waiting until Wonder Woman wasn't a thing. How old's Batman? He's 50 in this, yeah? Well, it's confusing because that means Alfred's... Okay, if we assume Batman's 50, Alfred has to be... Alfred is no older than 65 in this film,

which means that... He was a 15-year-old butler. Yeah. Batman parents died when Batman was but a wee baby. That's very funny. Well, actually, no, because in this version, Batman was but a wee baby. That's very funny. Well, actually, no, because in this version, Batman is like a kid. He's like five.

How old's Superman? I don't know. Like 20? Yeah. 25-ish. It's weird because he looks like a 35-year-old man. He does. Lois Lane acts like...

The age scale is weird Because Amy Adams Looks her age And I don't mean that as a diss She just looks like a lady that's like She's not like early 20s But it seems like they've written the character of Lois Lane To be early 20s She keeps talking like she has a wealth of experience But then she's just like

What would I know I'm just a new journalist Can we talk about her article At the end she writes Because boy is it shit It's just not news What would I know? I'm just a new journalist. Can we talk about her article at the end she writes? Because, boy, is it shit. It's just not news. Like, I'd expect more from a Pulitzer winning. It's a pleasant bit of prose.

Oh, God. If I was Perry White, I'd be like, yep, this is great. What are you reporting on? Fuck. Talk about, like, Wonder Woman being, like, yay, feminist movement. This being, like, you know what's great? Let's have Wonder Woman not be able to do her job because she's sad her man's dead. Same thing with Wonder Woman. Oh my god. She couldn't be on Wonder Woman because

the man's gone. Steve Trevor died. A hundred years ago. But nah, whatever. He died a hundred years ago. I'm too sad. One hundred years of mourning. Yep. One hundred. Yep. Fuck. Same thing. Cuts die of old. Yep. 100. Yep. Fuck. Same thing.

Cuts die of old age in that time. 100 years. Yep. Every single human you made friends with is dead. Yeah. And you're still mourning about a fella you knew for a week. Every human being you ever, like, you've, Wonder Woman, come on. Jesus.

And same thing with Lois. Like, you're it's like look I get it but like you don't have to fall apart completely it's very funny that Wonder Woman's

like wow I mean not Wonder Woman Lois Lane's like Superman died so I'm just gonna go back to writing fluff pieces that's actually

not your choice as like I'm sad so uh could you just pull me from the hard-hitting news articles

you're actually our best journalist you won awards I don't know if you remember so either you just take some from the hard-hitting news articles? Yeah, it's very wide. It's like, no, you're actually our best journalist. You won awards. I don't know if you remember. So either you just take some leave, which is absolutely an option. 100% okay. Because, like, it's not like... It seems like this movie doesn't understand...

Well, I mean, no movie. No DC movie knows what journalism is. But it seems like they're like... That's like if you're like, oh, yeah, no, look. Normally I build, like, entire dining sets. That's my job but i've been real sad so i've just been scaling it back and just building like stalls you know what i mean yeah it's not actually a degree of like

that's amazing and that comes down to like because that that's how in like a like any movie about the news they'll often have like a character who's just starting out or not not getting respected working on like fluff pieces so like is that where they're getting their knowledge does this movie get its knowledge of the news from other movies well already get its knowledge on resurrection from herbie so look. It's got a rich pop culture history. I just feel overall this film felt like it was in basically 1994. Yes.

One thing that we haven't touched on and one thing that affects the entire DCEU that makes zero sense and is just totally fucked from one scene. 5,000 years ago when Steppenwolf was originally on Earth and it says 5,000 years ago, fightingppenwolf was originally on Earth, and it says 5,000 years ago, fighting alongside the old gods and the Amazonians and the fucking Atlanteans.

And humans. And humans, the tribe of man. Who had swords and looked like King Arthur men, even though it was 5,000 years ago. It kind of not just fucks up the DCEU, it fucks up humanity's history. Yep. Old mate Green Lantern was there,

fighting alongside him. Yep. So mate Green Lantern was there. Fighting alongside him. Yep. So that means 5,000 years ago, there was a Lantern Corps in charge of Earth. Where'd they go? Why was he not there for the two times in the last three years? Where Earth is... Three times in the last five years

where Earth wasn't fucking almost destroyed. Wow, no. I mean, if you include Wonder Woman, like... Oh, yeah, 100 years ago. So Green Lantern wasn't in World War I. Nah. Green Lantern wasn't there when Earth almost got terraformed twice. And Green Lantern wasn't there when Earth got doomsdayed.

Nope. And you know that in the Green Lantern film that's coming, Ben Simmer or whatever the fucking alien's name is who gives Green Lantern the ring, he's going to come down and be like, there's been a lot of activity in this sector so like what else were you doing was there worse activity on mars at the time also like i guess you should probably answer for the dc like actual comics but where were the green lanterns when fucking krypton blew up i don't't think it's... I don't know. They probably didn't. Maybe there wasn't... Because the thing is, unless you see a Green Lantern, we can reasonably

assume that when Krypton blew up, maybe there wasn't a Lantern Corps assigned to them. But we know Earth has one. We just fucking saw it. So what happened to all the other old gods? Yeah. We saw Zeus. I think so. Either Hades or Hermes. I'm not quite sure. Yeah. And Artemis maybe as well.

Yeah. What? Where did they go? Where are they? Don't worry, guys. Because after this film, you know how they've all been really joined together? Yeah. I say making a face that implies that every director hasn't actually seen the previous film.

Even though one of the directors has made three of them. Suicide Squad happens with this film. Yeah, Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad are meant to happen pretty much one after another. What the fuck? Anyway, after this... Suicide Squad were fighting Steppenwolf. Yeah. Isn't that their job? That's what the team's for now.

Isn't that what they were? But yeah, they've announced that maybe going forward the DCEU won't be so connected, is what they've said, even though there is two post-credits scenes. Well, a post-credits scene in this that means that there should be a direct sequel to this film. Yep. Where Lex Luthor's like,

I noticed that the heroes have their own league. You're very lucky you're calling it a league, because that's not been an official statement of any variety. Maybe we should have a league. In the comics, that's called the League of Evil. Isn't it the Doomed League of Evil or some shit? It's very funny that you're like, yeah, look, let's cast ourselves as the bad guys.

Also, he just has a... What's his face? Deathstroke. Deathstroke. That's great. You, you bald, rich idiot. And Deathstroke. That's a league and a half, tell you what. And all his hired goons, which he wrote. Yeah, fuck, man.

What's Superman gonna do? Superman's fucked. He's in trouble now. Look trouble now Look out Look out at this bald fucking idiot And his fucking grey mate And old mate Deathstroke Oh shit Guns

Fuck My only hope is that Gorilla Grodd Who's normally the leader of the league Gets involved Well the Flash did mention he knows guerrilla sign language, so maybe. Fingers crossed.

And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. What did we think of Justice League? We thought it was shit. Absolute garbage. Three out of ten. Being pissed on by my own was shit. Absolute garbage. Three out of ten. Being pissed on by my own Pierce out of ten. Sitting in Pierce out of ten.

Thinking you're into water sports, but actually not actually being in them, but realizing midstream out of ten. Yeah. If you liked this, we'll be doing another What Did We Think of That? For Star Wars The Last Jedi. And if you really like a what did you think of that

come to steel wars live after the midnight screening where me and jackson and adam will be participating in steel wars live for a live reaction to that at three o'clock in the fucking morning not zamit not not zamit joel zamit unavailable that's funny funny. Yeah. Go to school. If you really like this, there's also a What Did We Think of That feed for Sandspans Plus members. Subscribe. There's a whole bunch of episodes about that. I review breaking my thumb. It's pretty good.

It's not bad. Bye. See ya. Everybody knows. That film was garbage.