Plumbing the Death Star - What Did We Think of Rogue 1: A Star War Story?

Episode Date: December 14, 2016

In which we talk about Rogue 1 instead of being in bed asleep. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm looking forward to my... I said we're on. Ah, okay. Hey, everyone. Welcome to this week's very special, very late, very tired edition of Plumbing the Death Star. We ask the important questions like, what did we think of a Star Wars Rogue One story?

Star Wars story Rogue One. It's a prequel. That was beautiful. Obviously, as usual, this is actually a smoother segue than usual, despite the fact that I'm more tired than I usually am when I do this. I'm jazzed.

I'm real awake. 100% spoilers. The whole movie is going to be spoiled. Everything is spoiled. We might even spoil episode eight. Who knows? Maybe we have insider information. We don't.

We do. Although, I want to point out that... No want to point out that in terms of spoilers, it's a prequel. You know where it's going is what you're saying? It's kind of like spoiling the Titanic. Well, no, you can still spoil this. For example, every single character dies. Let me spoil Titanic for those who haven't seen it. Jack dies.

Yeah, there you go. You can get spoilers. But then Rose also dies, but she dies in present day. You guys are the reasonable reason of all this. I think we're all too precious. Everyone dies in their present day. Because the spoilers in this, and especially spoilers with prequels, because you're not ruining the end,

you're ruining the journey as well. Yeah, yeah. I have no problem with spoilers. Fine, move on. Spoil well. No, not fair. Yeah, yeah. Because I have no problem with spoilers. Fine. Move on. Spoilers. Fine. Keep going.

A good argument to start off on, I feel. No, because look. So, so, so, so, let's do this like we normally do. You got your three categories. You got things you love. No, things you hated. Yeah. Things you loved.

Yeah. Things that didn't make sense. Yeah. That's how we tend to do things. Things we hated. All right, let's go around in a circle. Who's how we tend to do things. Things we hated. Let's go around in a circle. Who wants to start? I'll start. The CGI aging of people was fucked. It was like aging of people.

De-aging. I think this film can be... Two things I hated. Tarkin and Leia. Nothing took me out of this movie more than that. Tarkin was okay. No, no, no, no, no. He was awful.

No, because he had like a weird alien-esque look to him. No. Like it was uncanny valley to the max. I hated it too. This is bits we hated. Tarquin never looked amazing, but when he was standing still, I could overlook it.

He didn't seem as unpleasant until after we saw Leia, in which case everything looked super super. No, from the moment I saw Tarquin, I was like, why did they do that? You can say Tarquin, it's Tarquin. Tarquin's a real name though, so I'm going to say Tarquin. Okay, I think when you first saw him yeah when mendo was like walking up and you just saw this outline of this guy's back and you saw

the reflection i'm like oh that is a good reference yeah yeah yeah that's so much better i get what they're doing they because you know he's the actor's dead they're just gonna kind of have a reference thing he's gonna see his oh no he turned around looks like a piece of shit you know you know remember voldemort? Train feeders Voldemort? Add more hair, stretch him out. That's what we got. It was very uncanny valley. It destroyed you.

It destroyed me. It would have been Leia. The weird thing is though, so clearly they went for CGI over de-aging. Like they didn't just get... The rotting corpse. Paul Walker in Fast and Furious. Yeah.

In the scenes where that's not him. He used his twin though. Yeah. But his twin doesn't look anything like twin. It's just a brother. Yeah. And they only got him because he has a similar stature. Not because he has the same face. Cause then they just mapped.

So if I saw this in a video game, I'd have been like, yeah, that's what I was saying. I was like, it looks like, but like, like you'd game, I'd have been like, they look like they're from Mass Effect. You'd be like, that's real good in a video game. In a film, no. What I thought was fucking weird about Tarkin

is that they could have had that. They could have had him there if they'd made him like a hologram. And then he's like, off-site, he's being like, I'm taking over. And that would have been so much better as a story where uh fuckface and white i forget his name mendo is like mendelsohn he wasn't he wasn't even fucking there i built the death star and he's taking it from me i don't there would have been so many ways around it but instead and it seemed

like they were really proud of it too because they showed showed it a lot more. They kept flaunting it. Which is like, you remember when we watched Suicide Squad and we were like, every scene had to go through the process. So this had to go through the process. Somebody made that. A team. Then they presented it to someone who was like, that's tops.

Then they presented it to someone else who was like, you've done it. We'll put this in the film. We're going to put it in a lot. What else? We'll just talk about that for all night. We bloody will. Look.

Oh, yeah. Another thing I didn't like. The first two thirds of the film. He's done it. Now I'm on your side. The movie, like the gathering the team was real bullshit because they spread themselves way too thin. Okay, I should probably, before we bloody,

I know that I do this all the time, but I'm doing it again. So get ready. I liked the film. I didn't think it was a bad film. I just don't think it was an exceptionally great film. It was a solid seven out of ten, maybe. It had a very, very good last act. Oh, that last fight. If very, very good last act.

That last fight. If it wasn't the last act, I would have put this at a 5 out of 10. That last act bumped it up to a 6. Then we got Leia. 5 for 5. You can't. Oh, it's destroyed, Xander. We've had this conversation in the car on the way back. You're not getting through that wall. I'll reiterate it when we get to things I didn't like.

Go on. They spent... They didn't spend enough time on one particular character and made a lot of the other characters very similar. So like Jin doesn't really... No one has any real motivation. Well, they have motivation, but they never really flesh it out. None of the characters feel like characters.

Say what you want about the Force Awakens, but they introduce a bunch of new characters and all of them you're like i get why they're doing that i like them where this is like oh they're all real grumpy and uh bad fellas but also good fellas but bad fellas for instance um there's so many new characters i can't remember any of the names except jinn but jinn's boy mate yes or something i'm calling him cassidy. It's not right. Cassidy. Cassowary. Yeah.

Yeah. Canada. Canada. Class of Canada. Like, it shows him just murder a dude, like, right at the start of the film. You're like, ooh, bad fella. Like, good fella. Doing bad things.

Doing bad things. And I know that he's meant to have, like, a redemption arc, but because I don't really flesh out the character, it just feels like he would just do all of this like he hasn't learned anything this is just how he'd see i disagree i thought that this film was full of really awesome really subtle character moments and i thought that was one of them i was like here's a guy who's willing that's not like a big deal it's just showing you the audience what he's willing to do i love that moment when like ah there's only four of us it's like how many more do you need like, look at all the cannon fodder. Look at all these red shirts.

Actually, his... Stormtroopers. In the Star Wars universe. I just realized, Cassius or Cadity... Story arc is Han Solo story arc, but instead of four films, it's compressed over one. The introduction is exactly the same as Han Solo's introduction, where he kills Greedo without being prompted, and then he self-sacrifices,

like what Han Solo does, to teach the team a lesson. Not really. He dies at the end, because he just dies. You think he dies before that, though? You don't really think he does. I mean, like, you don't. You know he's coming. If he had fallen, I'm just saying, yeah, because if he had fallen,

and you didn't see him on the walkway, you'd have been like, because if he had fallen and you didn't see him on the walkway, you'd have been like, oh, maybe he's dead. But you saw him on the walkway, you're like, eh, he's alive. Maybe he'd bounce off a lot of things, which is kind of funny.

Also, I thought his death was not treated with any gravity, which if he died so that you were like, oh, the team's got to come together, it would have been. Instead he died and Jin was like,

dang. Shit, all right. Got to keep moving. I guess, okay. Because she was ready to give up. Well, no, she wasn't. She was like, I disagree, but also, whatever. Exactly. I guess. Okay. Cause she was ready to give up. Well, she wasn't. She was like, I disagree,

but yeah, whatever. Exactly. I kind of am Jack side, but also a whatever. Yeah. Anyway, what else?

Uh, what else didn't I like? Darth Vader has a real dumb line. Oh, good line. I think you mean, because if you listen to the, what do we think is going to happen

in Rogue One, Jackson was like, I'm really excited. There's going to be no quips. There was so many quips. There was like two. There was a couple of quips. Every single thing

the droid said was a quip. I'm with you, Dusha. I'm with you. That was a quip machine. You're making a Parsons error. See, you're forgetting

the difference between a quip and a joke. No, you're forgetting the difference because I'm going to use your fucking argument against you. Every single thing the droid said isn't for the characters in the film. It's for us, the audience.

He's just a sassy bot. A sassy bot for our benefit. No, no, it's the difference between him saying, okay, him saying, I've got a bad feeling about this. That's like a nod. Yeah. Him saying, I've got a bad feeling about this and them going, shut up. That's a quip. Yeah. Yep. And that happens. Exactly. That's right. That's the difference. That's a quip. Him saying, I've got a bad feeling about this. And them going, shut up. That's a quip. Yeah.

Yep. And that happens. Exactly. That's the difference. That's a quip. What Darth Vader said was a quip. No other quips in the film. The other stuff that he says is generally to the people.

Like him, you know, throwing the bag down. That was great. That was a joke. That's not what I'm saying is a quip. Give me an example of a quip. Give me an example of a quip. Oh, fuck. When he says like, oh, I can't even remember

because my brain just turned. When he's like, oh, do you like, did you want me on the ship or whatever? When, you know, he obviously saved their fucking asses in the city. He's like, oh, do you want me on the ship?

Quip. That's not a quip. That's a joke. That's a joke to the person because it makes sense in the universe. You guys don't know the difference between quips. My quip-o-meter is fucking

timed to perfection. Oh, no, no, it is not. Everything the blind fella also said was almost a quip. I disagree.

He just chanted about the force. No, cool guy, dumb chant. When you put the, also there was one scene where he was doing the chant and his lips did not match up

even anywhere close to what was, that's amazing. When he was on the ship, it did like a close up of his face and his lips were moving fast, but they weren't saying so funny. Fuck, his end scene.

Super good. Everything was leading up to it and I didn't realize. What else? What else did you hate? No, fuck. There was, oh yeah, no. Like a quip.

When they put the bag on, he said, he's like, I'm blind. He doesn't say it like that. He is blind. That's the thing you might say. But the way he says it makes it a quip. You're not even given a reason. You're just like, it's a joke, not a quip.

Because it's a joke in that universe. Who was that for? Who was the joke for? It wasn't a joke. He was basically being, if I'm blind and someone puts a bag, I'm like, why are you blind? Because otherwise any funny thing any character says ever is a quip. No.

Why is he saying that though? Is he like, oh, does he think they're going to be like, oh, he is blind. Let's take it back off. No, because putting a bag over your head is uncomfortable. Imagine if you're blind

and somebody puts a bag over your head. You're like, I'm blind. Like you're like, that's stupid. A lot of the dialogue felt like. As if he's expecting them to take the bag off. A lot of the dialogue from that fella and from Robot Boy sounded like

we need to move on. Sounded like it was added to lighten up the movie because it's quite sad. Okay, next. What else did you like? Disagree. Uh, I wish Jin was more of a character.

Okay. Like, she just... It did feel a little like she saw the hologram and she's like, my character is completely different now. No, see, the way I was viewing it is that she just didn't know what the fuck she was doing for most of the film. And that was sort of her character. Just fucking her way.

If you watch that film, because I was the same. I was like, what the fuck? These girls, like, what's the point of her? What's she doing here? But then if you're like, she was raised wrong and doesn't know what she's doing then it became a lot more understandable for me yeah i love it yeah you come here to kill me he's like what no that was good excuse me yeah no like um i get i think it was just that a quip douche oh my god no every funny thing a character says is a quip i guess yeah any joke is a quip, Dusha? Oh my God. Shut the fuck up. No.

Every funny thing a character says is a quip, I guess. Yeah. Any joke is a quip. Fact. No. Moving on. Jin's character. See, I liked her character arc.

Shut up. You gave the film a five and a half. You can't like everything and then give a film a five and a half. I hated one character's face. Five and a half out of ten. Oh, I've got beefs. I haven't got to my beefs yet I noticed how you've made yourself last But you also went first

Don't think you hate it Anyway, no, I feel like I was just waiting because everyone was like I'm very tired and angry Go on Also I think because I was most excited for this film And it didn't let me down, it just wasn't What I wanted.

Yeah, no, I just felt like, Jin, like I know the arc that we're going for. And it's the same thing. Like when a movie isn't made quite exactly how you feel like it should be, and characters aren't given quite enough time to read. Yeah, I get it. I know what she was meant to be,

but I don't think that they quite nailed it. Yeah, that's fair. Anyway, that's my segment done. It's gone for about 25 minutes. Thank you. All right, things I hated. Yep. Tark fair. Anyway, that's my segment done. It's gone for about 25 minutes. Thank you. All right, things I hated. Yep. Tarkin, as we have discussed.

CGI characters. That was made malian. Layer was worse. And the reason I hate that even more is- They didn't need to show it. They didn't need to show it. You ended on that. Now, this is filmmaking 101. That last frame that you have

is the last thing that your fucking audience sees. And when your last frame is your, like your big sweaty balls dangling in my face, I hate it. You didn't need to do that. Why did you do that to me? Because it left me bitter leaving the cinema. If you had left it at the Vader fight, fuck. That was sick as fuck.

That was so good. I reckon they could have ended. We know what's going to happen. If for some reason someone's listening to this and haven't seen the film, it ends with Leia, and they show her back first, and everyone's like,

Leia, but then she fucking turns around. Yeah, you didn't need it. Just cut off the back. No, because then it's weird. Like we were saying in the car, you're fucked coming or going. Show the back. You're like,

why didn't they show her dang face? What were they scared of? Show her face, you're like, God, you shouldn't have shown the face. We only know they shouldn't have shown the face because we've seen the face. Same thing with Tarkin, when you had the reflection, I thought, oh, yeah, that, and then he turned dumb.

Same thing. But Tarkin was fucked because he was in the film so much. That was a dumb choice because they added him more than they needed to. Could have just replaced him with Vader. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then same thing with Leia. I was expecting, oh, we're seeing her back,

and I was expecting them to cut, and they turned around and I was like, ooh. I didn Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. . Yeah. . And then Vader's like, we need to mount a boarding party. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, that would have been good. So those two characters hated. The opening, like, I guess the first two thirds,

where it was, not even the first two thirds, it was like the first 15 minutes, it was like this planet, this planet, this planet. Yeah, oh my God, I hated that. It was very strange. Did not need that. And I get why they were doing it, but you could have kind of condensed a lot of this story. Also, it didn't need as many jumps.

Yeah, it felt kind of like they could have condensed a few things and it felt like they were just doing a few things for no real reason. It's like they added a whole bunch of planets just to show different planets. I guess it was probably to avoid the thing that everyone did with Force Awakens and everything before that where they're like, why are you always showing just desert planets?

And with this, it would have been like, why are you just showing a desert planet and then you're showing a jungle planet? We've seen those before. So they showed a bunch of different planets. What was the joke? I love so much that the Empire was like, look, we've got to put our archives somewhere. So I was like, I know this planet that's basically Hawaii. Aside from the battle at the end,

how much would you love to work there? That's a cushy job. You're like, I've finished my archiving or whatever for the day. Oh, actually. This is a really quick thing that I didn't like. And I promise that it's not going to go into a massive argument. Having the AT-ATs destroyed so easily on that fight makes. No, but that did my heart good.

Cause I'm like, exactly. When they put up one leg and the whole thing came crashing down, I was like, yep. No, no, no, no. Those 8080s. Ah, no. Let's not do the army. Keep going. I was just going to say, because that makes Empire, because when they rock up and Empire strikes back, they're scared of them because they're like, they're so

on the plate and they blast to do nothing. But then the X-Wings are just like, pew, pew. That thing you told us in the one where you're like oh we're gonna get a scope of the size of things didn't feel that no I didn't and also that TIE fighter scene was weird and also like the Death Star TIE fighter scene sorry?

and the Death Star like to me it changed size a bit so I was like I don't understand the scale was weird I think I know why that So I was like, I don't understand the scale. I think I know why that is. Of course I know why, because of fucking you looking things and stuff. I was going to say that the planet there on the second one was

bigger than the first one. Yeah, exactly. Or that it's just closer. That's exactly why. Or it was closer to like how the moon and blah blah blah. But like, again, I didn't get that feeling Yeah, the scale was, I was wrong. Hey, Gareth Edwards, you had one fucking job. It's funny. Because going into this film, people were like, well, we know two things will be good.

The CGI and the scale. And he fucked both. And other things. And as you said, Douche, I think gathering the team to do the heist, I think was a bit dumb. I think they... Because everyone's just real broody.

Broody? Yeah, you're right. The first two thirds or up until Mads Mikkelsen's death felt like two different films Yeah And I kind of wish they had focused on one or the other And you either made the mad stuff

really early on and then you kind of make They need to condense one of them The heist stuff a little bit more Because the heist stuff was very right I love me heist films of them. The heist stuff a little bit more. Because the heist stuff was very right. I love me heist films. I fucking love a heist film.

A heist movie. This wasn't really a heist film. It was not, no. No, and I really wished it was. It was a war film, but they did it weird. Yeah, like imagine if they had gone right. You had Mads Mikkelsen as your character, and he sort of dies in the first act. And you have...

Because he dies at the end of the second. Yeah. And you have... Like, all robot legs dies at the end of the first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so you have Jyn, not as a prisoner, but maybe someone who's working for the rebels, because you don't need her to be like a complete nothing character

who's kind of like, I hate life. You can kind of have her flitting between something there. No, I was happy with her as a prisoner. Just sort of spitballing. And so you have the death of her father kind of have her flitting between something there no i was happy with her yeah just sort of spitballing and so you have the death of her father kind of pusher and then you kind of have the bit more of the heist of like well this is where it is this is where we need to go so we need to plan this so we need force boy guy with guns distraction team sneakily they actually had all of your heist yeah they had a face yeah had a driver. Everyone was there, but they just didn't really use them. It was not a utilized.

No. It was not a utilized at all. I was hoping you'd just be like this. They just gave them all the same job. They're like, shoot things. Yeah, good. Yeah. Except for Jin.

Run and get the thing. Climb a bunch. Love the climber. Driver guy. The pilot had like a job. I really like the driver as well. Yeah. I like all the characters.

The more I'm talking about it, less nugget. Maybe a 6.5. I'll still happily give it a 7. I'm at an 8. For the first time, we've come out of a Star Wars movie with Zammett hating it more than I did. I just think... I was really enjoying it.

I just think the CGI layer has left such a bitter imprint in my mind. I barely remember it. For me, the end third is just like, wow, that's all that was in my head. Wait till we talk about best parts, because fuck, there's a real... There's so many!

One part had me laughing and smiling for so long. I was laughing, and I kept laughing, and I hear Zammett laugh along, and then Zammett stops, and I keep, and Zammett's like he's still and then Zammett started laughing fuck it was good we were sitting really far apart and it was very funny when Vader said that quip that you hated and I just leant over and you were already looking at me you knew oh yeah and so bad that quip was really shit also men, Menace and... Wait, no, we're doing stuff we hated. Yeah, hated, hated, hated. So, yeah.

I disagree, but yeah, hated. I'll just... One thing with that quip. Whilst I thought it was very dumb, it almost is Vader-esque. Like, him saying something like, it is a bit... Like, it's not out of character.

It was just really out of nowhere. That's the kind of thing that you put in a film where Vader's in it a bunch. Yeah. Not a film where, like, that's the Vader you're getting. Is Vader coming in, threatening a guy, and then being like, I've got a great line to go out on.

So think about, you juxtapose that scene with the scene at the end. Yeah, well, exactly. No, it's a bunch of rebels. If that had been the only Vader scene you got, you would have been like, ah! You didn't need that scene with Mendelsohn going to see Vader, to be honest.

No, because, again, they either needed to see Vader, to be honest. No, because, again, they either needed to have Vader or Tarkin. They didn't need both. This is a film where I don't know the development story of this. I don't know if it was rushed. I don't know if they had a deadline to hit, but this film is kind of like... Went through reshoots, didn't it?

Yeah, but everything has reshoots. It's a film which is sort of quintessential where they just don't take that principle of kill your darlings. So they really needed to kill their darlings here. They needed to be like, oh, but I love Vader in this scene. No, no, no, it doesn't add to the story. Same thing with a lot of the flashback stuff, a lot of the early ones.

And while I loved the opening scene, I really enjoyed that scene of Mendelssohn coming down and getting Mads Mikkelsen. You didn't need it. Well, that was probably shot in the same shoulder twice, and I'm disappointed they didn't make reference to that. That's funny. Oh, yeah.

He got shot twice there. I thought he'd be, like, having a robot arm or some kind of fucked up thing. I want him to look up and look at the shoulder and be like, fuck again? Why? Why? No, that works as a good cold open. It works as a good cold open,

but then they kept sort of going back to it for no reason. Also, I was wrong about the fucking necklace because I'm Linda and Jack. I'm like, how do you reckon the necklace is going to save the day? It didn't. I really liked the way the force... Anyway, that'll be stuff we like. Carry on.

Unless you're done. I think I'm done with things I did not like. Adam. I hated everything to do with the forest bung-eye wit-taker fucking plot. That's just his face, Adam, you piece of shit. Old robot legs, sorry. I hated everything to do with robot legs as well. Someone pointed out on Twitter,

whose name I forget also, because it's fucking almost 4am, I'm not checking my phone, pointed out that he is the character that is in the Star Wars TV series, but he's not in Rebels, he's in Clone Wars. Oh, okay, cool.

So, you know how we were like, oh, they probably weren't tied in too much? I feel like if we'd seen Clone Wars, his character would have made a lot more sense. I have seen Clone Wars. But I don't remember his character. Dang. Because I'm assuming that probably explains, one,

why he's got robot legs and why he rebels on the rebellion. Why he breathes through a weird tube. I like how that was almost like a Vader-esque kind of moment. I, for some reason, saw it as more of a Mad Max Fury Road kind of thing. It reminded me of Grievous for some reason. Yeah, it's weird. I hated everything about him.

Like, these rebels are super extreme, blah, blah, blah. Why did the scene in the town where they ambushed that stormtrooper convoy feel so much like they were like in the Middle East or something? Yeah, it did. I was thinking the same thing. Very Black Hawk Down-esque.

Yeah. It was weird. I think that was, again, because I think the director really wanted to make a war film. We thought it was a heist film. It wasn't. No, but as in like, I think his thing was like, no, I really want to make a war film so that's why there's scenes like that which are really reminiscent of

and really heavy handed I was watching that scene being like shit's going down in Aleppo I should check in I know something happened recently I gotta read the news article about that hooray yeah I he captures the I got to read the news article about that. Well, maybe he did his job then. Hooray!

Yeah, he captures the Imperial pilot and then... All right, so I wish the Imperial pilot was more brain dead because they really heavily threatened that your brain's going to be... He doesn't really talk at first when he comes in. And it seems like he is fucked. I am the pilot. I brought the message. But then he's in. And it seems like he is fucked. I am the pilot. I brought the message. But then he's fine. Maybe it was like the implication was... It feels like there's a scene missing there, doesn't it? Yeah. It feels like

they were like, oh, we got this great... And I guess that comes back to your kill your darlings thing. Someone's like, I got this great idea. It's like this squid monster and it can tell the truth. And everyone's like, mad, Chuckity. Yeah, and like, did he tell the truth? Because I guess it didn't What was even

It felt like they wanted to have their heist movie And their war movie at the same time Because the heist movie requires that driver The wheel man So they're like let's keep him alive But the war movie is like no we need to Mess this guy up It's so weird because

That guy was imperative to, like, he's originally Empire, so he's got, like, heaps of fucking sneaky behind-the-scenes tech to get in. But then still they had that weird scene that was so brief. And what was the point of it? That whole scene is so weird. Because they're like, we've got to get the truth out of you, which you're right, they just didn't.

And then he's like, put him in jail, I guess. I don't know. That's also another classic thing. That reminded me of The Force Awakens. You know the scene where Han and Chewie are first on it and there's those weird aliens, like, this doesn't feel Star Wars. That alien also didn't feel Star Wars. I felt Men in Black.

There's just one guy who's like, squared aliens. Chuck him in all of the Star Warses. You know, yeah, when Han Solo and Chewie... Yeah, I know what you're talking about Yeah, that felt a bit odd What was I going to say? Yeah, I felt like at the end of Act 1 When Robot Legs gets killed

I began to enjoy the movie a lot more I did not like that storyline I didn't like what's Cass or whatever his name is Yeah, Cassowary I didn't like his kind of... I liked kind of him as a character, but I didn't like his Quintessian Mark's redemption arc 100%.

I think that's because you're viewing it as redemption. I never saw it as a redemption arc. What I was saying in my I don't like thing, I think that they tried to make it a redemption arc, but they fucked it up. That's the thing. Because they want the heist movie and the war movie at the same time and one has the one and one does not.

Why did they have fucking the Mon Motha and her crew being like, no, we're going to surrender. That just felt weird. I know what they were trying to do. They were trying to be like, hey, in war there's no such thing as good guys and they wanted to show that a rebellion is bad.

Rough stuff happens like the rebels are terrorists C-3PO and R2D2 I hated that I was going to get to that sorry I'm not reminded that and butt face oh I hated that too

oh my god C-3PO and R2D2 is almost forgivable because they're there. That makes sense. Yeah, that almost makes sense. Buttface, that's when he gets blown up. Buttface survives that. Yeah, because he... So they'd go on like less than a month later

to get his arm cut off and die. Would though this be redeemed if they were like, all right, fuck the Solo's Han Solo film. They're just doing like a road trip movie of Buttface and the other guy who has like... Messed nose. Messed nose who has real anger like aggression problems.

Tell me you don't want to watch a movie that's those two. Buttface trying to calm down his very angry friend. After Rogue One, I feel like in episode four, when Luke bumps into him, he should have turned around and been like, I've seen shit. Do you know what the Empire has? They say it was a mining accident.

It wasn't a mining accident. Maybe that's the reason he's so angry. It's because he's like, it's going to happen again. Last time it started with a bump. Like if it was on Tatooine, sure, that makes sense. Blue milk. They had blue milk. That was good. That was mad. I like that. Why even, like if it was on Tatooine, sure, that makes sense. Blue milk. They had blue milk. That was good.

That was mad. That's good ass. I like that. That was fine. It's like people are drinking blue milk across the galaxy, I guess. I feel like the introduction scene that they had was important to have, but I did not like the introduction scene that they had. I wish they did it.

I wish they reworked it somehow. I didn't like it. Too many characters. Yeah. Absolutely. Also, Blind Freddy and his friend, Big Lad with Gun. Yeah. it somehow I didn't like it too many characters yeah they tried to like focus on any time and his friend big lad with gun yeah I just didn't get their connection to everything they were just there yeah they did just join yeah I know

I'd oh we're here protecting the crystals but like there's no one to protect I'm a good job dickheads like but then it's like they weren't working for the for um old robot legs so it's like they weren't working for old robot legs. So it's like, hey, why weren't you working for robot legs? No, because robot legs is an extreme of those two. No, they were good. I just didn't know how they were going to get the same idea. No, but I'm there for that.

They're the C-3PO and R2-D2 of this movie. Oh, yeah. That's how I'm seeing them now. I saw them as being like, oh, this is important. I should probably jump along. I've got no purpose. Cool character, bad chance. Anyway, yeah, that's me done. What do you mean like quips?

Good end. That Darth Vader quip is so terrible though that it almost comes out the other side because it's so funny to imagine the before and after. That's my BVS. Because it's great to imagine him going in and he's like,

oh, that fucking Mendelsohn's here. I got to give him the business. Fucking, I hate that guy. He's such a little brown noser. I'm going to say something. And then he goes in. He does the quip. And as he's leaving in the elevator going back,

he's like, got him. Got him good. Fuck, that was good. But also Ben Mendelssohn's character looks fucking like chuffed with that. Was it you who was also saying like, later on, is he like, I can use it again? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No one else knows. Force choking the other guy he's like I can chuck this one in I like to imagine him flying him back in his little spaceship chuckling to himself God I'm funny so I hated that really

but whatever didn't like the CGI face that was bad but for me everything else was much better. The good outweighed the bad. I agree that I didn't like Mads Mikkelsen. Really? Yeah, I thought he was real nothing. I like

the character. I loved half of Mads Mikkelsen. I hated the Mads Mikkelsen we got until we got to him in the present. No, I hated all of it. Why did you offend those scientists? Were they meant to be good guys? No, because he's been working with them.

They're just people he knows. It's like the atomic bomb. If they're shooting you, you're like, we've spent a lot of time together. You're just people. And they were innocent. I was willing to risk everything for him. I did like how the rebels fucked everything up, though.

Also, why were the rebels so eager? What's that? People are attacking. Send booms. Send for one go. Oh, shit. Let's go. No, but I don't know.

I felt like Mads Mikkelsen's story was really cool. I feel like those people were just ready to go, though. Yeah, yeah. I really liked that. It was a little bit bland, wasn't it? What did he do? Performance-wise, what was really there? You just love Mads Mikkelsen, though.

No, because I didn't. You're being a real Zoe about this, I guess I am. What was good about his performance though? I didn't care about him. The hologram was really cool and I did like the opening scene. The hologram I think was the best acting. Yeah, I thought the opening scene was very like, meh. I don't know.

For me, Mads Mikkelsen was very... His dying scene was trash. I'll happily say yes, fine. Pretty much, except parts of the hologram scene. And even the hologram scene i was like that's real on the nose that clearly he's talking to jinn even though like how would he know that true yeah no no i get you but like i don't know overall i was expecting more because like i've seen mads and stuff but i've never been like oh mads like the rest of you fucks but

and in this i was like i'll get to see some mads but i don't know wasn't that good i think he was a one of the better behomans in there really um but there was like 50 it was 50 good 50 seems like it was a bit for me most of it was garbage um what else did i not like i really didn't like you're right that start was just jumping around all of the robot leg stuff felt really just like you you're right you could have condensed all of that i like stuff felt really just like you're right you could have condensed all of that i like i get that you need the impetus for them to be like okay we know there are plans to get but like you don't need to go through all of that fucking song and dance yeah imagine if i had started with that fucking hologram yeah and then the whole film was planning or you're like

that heist intro scene which was which was fine, but not amazing. Mandelson made it good. Just quickly on what you just said. What if it opened with that cold open and then cut to the rebellion, like, cut to Mads' death scene, but Jin isn't there. Like, have Mads die in an attack

and they find the hologram and then Mon Mothra and the fellas at that round table play that projection. They're like, we need to find Jyn. Yeah, then they find Jyn. She's in a prison. That's fine. Collect Jyn.

They're like, you got to go do this. It's right because you're like, then there's that no weird doubting moment where everyone has- Because it doesn't feel like- Because the rebels in 4, 5, and 6 are just like, there's a little bit of hope. Fuck yeah, let's take it.

Why was hope a plot point? That was funny. We needed a hope. I expected so many of them to just look at the camera and be like, we need hope. A new hope. This is the old... That was dumb. Hope is a plot point. Ah, shut up.

What are you doing? And again, I love... I'm giving this film an eight, but something that happened real often was it's like, we need to press the button. And if we don't press the button in time, it won't work out. And there's a lot of things stopping us pressing the button. We press the button. Now there's a new button to press.

I feel like that only happens twice. How many times? Three times. Maybe more. I think there's another one earlier on where they got to press the button. Hang on. Jin needs to upload the thing. Oh, no.

He's got to press two buttons. Yeah, because she has to press two buttons. They have to hook in the hook. Hook in the hook. They got to press the button. To make the hook go in. There was a lot of button pressing. Okay, okay.

It's just fine. Bloody K2 has to press two buttons at the same time. He's got to be pressing buttons while I get the- He dies because of that. Oh, that was so sad. Things I didn't like, he dies. What else did I dislike? I just realized the atom bomb analogy

was very heavy handed by the end. Which is real funny because we're done for atom bombs. You don't need to make that. It's not the 50s and 60s anymore. No, but you can bring that back. I'm fine with them bringing it back. They brought it back in a weird way because they tried to make Mads Mikkelsen like,

I am death. I have become death. But then, because they never really gave him motivation to why he did it in the first place. I'm coming around to your mad stuff now. You're right. Because they never gave him motivation.

Why did he do it in the first place? No, well, maybe he believed for a while that the Empire was the right thing. Then he discovers it's not. Disappears. They get him again a moment of like, why did he do it in the first place? No, well, maybe he believed for a while that the Empire was the right thing. Then he discovers it's not. Disappears. They get him again. He's like, this is the only way I can keep my family safe. I know we talk a lot of shit on this podcast, but you need to, you can't just make the audience guess that.

But that's your assumption, surely. Oh, no. Yeah. But like, you need to... They have that scene where he picks her up and he's like, I'll always protect you. I think actually maybe I could... that was a really sweet scene yeah but that's also i think like um i'm protecting you by working with them yeah but then maybe have that maybe have vader in that scene explain it better yeah yeah like that scene was probably the perfect time because you don't need to you don't need to over explainexplain things. Your audience aren't fucking dumb fuck cunts. Wow, hang on a minute. I'm stupid as shit.

I'm real dumb. You do need to include little bits. So wait, I'm confused. What bit doesn't add up with Mads' story? Oh, no, no. I just think they need to give him... It would have been better for what they were pushing. Because they didn't need to show it,

but because of the way that they then took his storyline they sort of need to give him a reason to like what caused him to do a backflip and like because he was already doing a backflip from the start that's the reason he'd left surely yeah but you don't go into exile unless you've decided that yeah whoever you were working with is not the top hologram scene was yeah he's like pretty much explained it was kind of like i just was a broken. I played the part as a broken man, but I'll fuck him. I'll get him in the end. That was when... No, but that was...

No, no, Douche's problem is, why did you do it in the first place? Oh, yeah, and this comes to assumption. It's just like anything. I was assumed he was just an engineer. He was like, hey, look, I was doing this, and then I realized, oh, whatever. I feel like the scene where he's like... You don't need that, actually.

It's just an assumption. It's just like one of those... You can't explain everything. Same thing with his wife. Menderson was like, wifey problem, doing it again, and she was like, issue in the shoulder. And it was just like, you didn't need... You're just like, I can infer from the film...

That these people were friends. I'm fine with inferring. No, no, no, let's jump down his throat more. I agree that they could have done more to explain it. I agree that. I know that you can just infer things in the audience aren't dumb, fuck, cunt, fuck, shut up, fuck, dumb, fuck.

It's a fine line to walk with exposition. But because of the Adam Bomb analogy and the fact that they needed to be like, like the fact that he was like really regretful. It was weird that they, cause they never really gave him a reason to be regretful because at first he's already left.

When you first see him, he's already left, but then they take him back prisoner. And that's when he designs it as well properly. And he puts the floor in it. So your question is why was he, cause they, they obviously got to say a 30% completed death star.

And then he chuffed off. Why did he start from zero to 30? And well, again, I don't think you need to explain that if you didn't include the flashback where he's like, I'll do anything to protect you because they sort of half go into it and then don't. My problem is that they try and have it both ways.

What else did I hate? Not a lot. Like the first, I agree with you, it was about like Robot Leg's death where I was like, oh, alright, now I'm a little bit interested. I thought it was going to be in the rest of the movie but they killed him.

That felt like a whole weird side area we didn't need to go into but like other than that and the first act which was kind of take it or leave it, I had a really good time. Yeah. Yeah.

It was just, I think it was just one of those things where it's a bit of a pacing problem. Like, you know, the whole like kill your mentors or whatever that kind of stuff where you kind of go through those acts. It's like they sort of got the acts broken up

with a death of a father figure. Yeah, yeah. Why? You didn't need it. Death of father figure, death of father, death of self. They're the three acts. That's the hero's journey. It's like, oh, no, my fake dad's dead.

Oh, no, my dad's dead. Oh, no no I'm dead I did it I finally did it I think with a film like this where you know it's self contained and you're not getting a sequel you don't need to add in things that need to be explained further so Jin being like you left me with a blaster

and a pocket full of memories in that hole well it's like you're putting in like an unnecessary extra bit of backstory what's the point of memories in that hole. Well, it's like you're putting in like an unnecessary extra bit of backstory. What's the point of us knowing that? I like that. See, to me, that just gives the world a bit more character. It gives the world more lived in.

I like that. But then you're creating a conflict to instantly resolve. You're creating a conflict of like, he betrayed her. And then, hey, they've made up within a scene. That's not great. No, that's good. That's like, you're fucking like giving some exposition while also like the characters are becoming more, I don't know, alive on screen. And also that explains what her bitterness towards the rebels and everything.

Yeah. Because it is kind of like a bit of shorthand there because you're kind of going like, all right, why? You know, why does she, why is she not buddies with her pseudo father? Oh, he was like, I fucking put you in a hole and left you there. And then it sort of is like, and that gives that nice moment where he's like, oh, why are you here to kill me? That was good. It's packing a lot into not much.

And I think that's good. And also, again, it gives these people a bit more history. I feel like when him being like, you're here to kill me, that's good. That's fine. It also shows a lot about him, how he's going a little senile maybe. I always thought that the thing he was breathing was making him crazy. That's my first assumption. I'm like, he's doing space drugs.

You're thinking of Mad Max. Mad Max. You're thinking of Mad Max. Fuck, I've missed doing that. No, I feel like because he was an extremist and he was like crazy. Like he is crazy. Yeah, no, that was fine.

I just think that like, you could have just had her come in and like just without that extra little step. Yeah, I feel like, the more I think about it, how I'm like the characters weren't fleshed out. I think, wow, Adam, that was a massive twitch. That was distractingly long.

Moving on, moving on. Your shoulder like bounced over your head. That was distractingly long. Moving on! Your shoulder bounced over your head. That was real weird. Anyway. He's the thing. Go on. He was just like... I feel like

they just made the character development kind of boring rather than not doing it properly because Forrest Wittek, he had character development, it's just I didn't care. Yeah, no fair. They could have just made him like real crazy like we need to stop the Empire but you can't trust the rebels because of all these bad things. Actually

because the movie shows that. That's all they needed. Yeah, honestly, instead of it being like a left you in a hole with a paper hat and a small pocket of dreams they could have been just like you didn't agree with the way I was doing things you didn't want this life anyway things you love do you love things I loved well it's good that I get to go first I had

to talk about the best scene in the film when the rebel alliance one of the ships is just like when you take out the gate oh yeah they're like so towards the end of the film yeah boy it's so good there's a shield raised it's like this giant circular ship where there's a like a shield generator like we need to take this out

and they're like fuck the fleet is getting like beaten back he's like one captain's just like fuck it I got this he rams a star destroyer

like just flat out crashes into it with a hammerhead ship no we've seen that ship before and then the Star Destroyer's like shit oh yeah cause they hit it with ion so it's like frozen and they just slam into that ship and you're like shit

and they just keep going and it slams into another ship and it's so good I fucking love the scene where that tiny little ship is like full power trying to push it. Like this little steam ship that could. I love it because that fucking Mon Calamari is like,

I got this. This is something I've wanted to try for a long time. It's on my bucket list. Also, it kills, like, a lot of people die because of that. That's good. It's just so funny. Gets it done, though. Gets it done. It's just so fucking amazing. The music that they play as it hits, it's like,

I thought it was about to launch into ba-da-da-da-da da-da-da-da-da It's just like, what the fuck is happening? What the fuck is happening? Oh my god. I like that no one apparently ever tried that before.

Yeah, that's what I loved. Oh my God, that scene was fucking brutal. And also, that was another thing that I was starting to get worried about. Be still my beating heart. If they pull up a Star Destroyer just from shooting at it, that makes Star Destroyers scare out.

They don't. Star Destroyers just cop the lasers. They just don't cop that ship. What I loved about that scene is it was in so many, like it kept getting amazing. First the ship rams it and you're like shit yes then it slams into another

it hits the next one you're like oh my god and then it just starts raining Star Destroyer I really oh my god that scene

I really yeah the whole third act was really good it's just phenomenal significantly better than the rest of the film so the moment that they're like hey

the Death Star plans are on this planet the movie goes from like just cruising in third gear to fucking Vinny D's seventh gear on his car. And there's some dumb stuff, but I can forgive it all in that last part.

I liked that they tied up all the loose ends by just killing all the characters. Yeah, it was good. I love the end of them dying. They just accept their death. They're like, mad, alright. There was one moment though where I didn't like that. There was a moment where some of the

cannon fodder, one of his buddies gets shot and he goes over to kind of console him then he gets shot. I'm like, mate, this was a suicide mission from the fucking start. Fuck off. That's them trying to have their fucking war movie as well. That's very saving. I their fucking war movie as well. Yeah. I thought... That's very Savvy Brewer. I just felt like I was so on board

because everyone here knows this is a suicide. And this is great. But then there was that one scene where I'm like, you wanted the war. You wanted that war moment scene and it was like... Anyway. What else did I like? Oh yeah, and again,

this just needs to be highlighted Vader's last scene I remember they said people saying when this film is coming out they're gonna make Darth Vader scary again and I never found Darth Vader scary because I was like he's just a guy but that same

just remembering the things that happened to those poor fucking rebel marines he just goes through them like butter. And it's so, I think what makes it so scary, there's never a moment where you're like, Darth Vader's in danger. He's just slamming guys into walls, stabbing guys. And then that thing where he stabs the guy and you see it from the other side of the door. And the lightsaber just comes out the door and you're like, oh, he got run through. And then the door opens and you're like, oh god, it's not over!

Fuck, that was good. I'm screaming a lot. That was a good bit. Melody's having a nightmare. Now he's having little dog dreams, dreaming you're a human. Never! Not gonna happen. Not on my fucking watch.

Get the chip through the door! As soon as the door only opens that much you know what's gonna happen that was really good it shows Darth Vader like full body though and his legs look really silly and yeah when he walked you're like yeah no cause like there's like this shot

that's sort of like it's side on but also like diagonally up but from a distance so you see his whole body but because his torso is very thick because of all the up I'm a plating but he has very thin legs I liked it but it was just funny yeah I really like when Mendelsohn goes to see Vader and you get that hooded guy yeah it's like wait the sub what's here to shoot and like little guy Darth Vader's got specifically to get him messages Ben Mendelsohn was very very good

He was my favourite actor He was amazing He had that like He was like evil and you're like You're a bad person You're a worm and there was like complexities to his character And I really loved There was like a flashback to

Mads and the fam Where you could just see him hanging out With Mads And you're like that's awesome Because now that first scene is real fucked up And you're like was his concern genuine You know when he's like my wife's passed And my girl's passed and he's like I'm actually really sorry

You're like that Actually that was my favourite part of the first Oh Mendelssohn made that first act The first act when he's just like Oh look Leon's back from the dead. I was like, good. Yeah, because I was like, you're right. Because it probably was genuine dang. And then he's like,

oh, I've been roost. Fuck you. Yeah. Have you guys seen Bloodline? Yeah. The one on Netflix. Oh, yeah. Fuck. Animal Kingdom. You see him in Animal Kingdom? You've seen Animal Kingdom? Mendelssohn?

Mendelssohn Party? Killing them softly? No, just me? Oh, what a film. No one else liked it, but it's okay. Anything else? I liked the music. Yeah, me too, actually.

No, that was something I noticed. I was like, the music is decently different enough from Star Wars and not like... With notes of Star Wars. Yeah, but you could tell it was a Star Wars song. The Jedi planet was good. Which one was that? I liked that one.

The one that got blown up. Oh, yeah, that was good. Oh, well, another thing I didn't quite care for was that they kept using the Death Star. Yeah. I was a bit like, oh, okay. You're like, I guess the Death Star, can you do different? You can just take a city if you want.

But it makes it more functional. Like we've complained in the past that it's not terribly practical, but that makes it somewhat more practical. Wait, do they take a city? Or do they just blow up both planets? No, just the cities. Yeah, they make a big deal of saying like only use one exhaust port or whatever.

Yeah, right. Oh, it's fucking late. Okay, that was good then. Yeah, yeah. I retract that. It also then like, because when they're talking about firing and I'm like, then in episode four where they're like, the first test fire. Oh, yeah.

So now it's still fine because they only fire at one third power or whatever. Yeah, like this is the first test fire on a planet. Alderaan got him. I was disappointed that there wasn't like a, let's go to Alderaan. Yeah. For fuck's sake, guys. I've given you four opportunities now

to make Alderaan significant and you fucked me four times. They never do. They never do. You could have easily, easily had like any fucking, have Jyn go to Alderaan be like

oh that's sad I mean she died anyway so that's good so you done with things you liked yeah things I liked I love the introduction

of he was great yeah just shooting his lad in the back that was super good yeah I was like

nah I'm on his side now he can do he does the things that no one wants to do for the rebels that's good yeah he was great

I love robot lad he was good I liked how I loved his robot sass I loved him dropping a bag He does the things that no one wants to do for the rebels. That's good. Yeah. He was great. I love Robot Lad. He was good. I loved his robot sass. I loved him dropping a bag. He's really quips. Nope, he's sass. Absolute sass.

Part sass, yeah. I love the lack of lightsabers. Oh, yeah. Because when one did appear, you were like, ooh, lord. Shit's gone down. And I also like the fact that it wasn't a lightsaber fight. It was a massacre. Yeah. Shit's gone down. And I also like the fact that it wasn't a lightsaber fight. It was a massacre. Yeah? And that was good.

I did like the Force character. Blind Black. Yeah. Donnie Yen is the actor's name. Yeah. I don't know the character. Blind Freddy. He likes Donnie.

You like Donnie. Love Donnie. He was also the guy that was like, I really had a good time. I die in the movie, though. Sorry. I liked his character, but I think his chant was stupid. I die in the movie, though. Sorry. I liked his character, but I think his chant was stupid. I loved his chant.

No, no, no. His chant was my favorite part. It was too quick. No, but that's good because you're like, it's like a fractured, fucked up version of, because the religion is gone at this point, largely. So his version is like this weird, I mean maybe I'm just making a lot of assumptions for the characters,

but I just assumed that he has this weird temple they're worshiping whatever crystals he's like i'm really sensitive but i can get it going with this it's not like the chant was magic that's just what he said to get himself in the right i don't know that's how i took it i love the chant i liked it i just wish he was chanting something else i'm not as loud i don't know it was a bit it was a bit no i think i think what him to be a little bit louder. It was a bit, it was a bit, no, I think, I think what they're going for

is he's like, he's a bit force sensitive, but not really. And I think by him having that, he had to channel it. Well, not even channel it. I think that like,

cause like when he, what happens at the first scene you get him where he takes all those, he takes everyone down and then they're like, he's like the force save. He's like, no,

I saved you kind of thing. When he, is he that force sensitive? Like, I think that's the point. Like, he's like the force saviour he's like no I saved you kind of thing is he that force sensitive like I think that's the point he's just a bit crazy I liked him he was good maybe I love this film 10 out of 10 it's all good even though I'm like I hated this this I'm still right

I flip because I'm like this part sucked this part's good honestly the CGI took me out so much it destroyed much that I'm actually very disappointed not mad at the film just disappointed that they went with that but other things I really enjoyed I did enjoy the majority of the

actors I did enjoy all the actors I know you have your issues with Mads but I really enjoyed those scenes. I think his character was just a bit boring. I think his performance and character were... I didn't like so much the... Rubbish. Like the whole Mon Motha rebel people.

They were a bit dull. And that Jorah Mormont looking dude. I kind of liked them because they all looked like real... I love the mustaches. Yeah, I was going to say. Everybody kind of looked like actors from the 70s. Yeah, I was going to say, everyone kind of looked... It from the 70s. Yeah, I was gonna say, everyone kind of looked like... It was very 70s throwback. One part that I really liked,

they made it look like that it could easily lead into a new era. All the actors had weird mustaches and dominoes. Yeah, and also aesthetically 70s. And all the sci-fi, all the ships were really blocky and weird. Which is mad, because that means that within the Star Wars universe,

if someone's like, remember 20 years ago when we all had mustaches? That's like a reasonable thing to say. That was just in style. In a force of way, because you see somebody with a mustache, you're like, pfft. Well, that was just the rebels, really. You don't know under the stormtrooper. Everyone's got a bow.

I feel like pro-dameron could rock a sweet mode. Oh, absolutely. The majority of the special effects are really good. The majority of this whole thing, I think there were scenes that were good and enjoyable. I had a fun time with them. I love the space battle

of the ramming. That was fantastic. The Vader at the end was so good um but there was like some moments where it felt like they were trying to even do a little bit of um episode uh seven like a little bit of like you know very similar uh when we're introduced to um jen jen jen jen jen and similar to how we were introduced with Ray kind of stuff. We know when she's like in her own isolated cell. Stuff is dripping. That felt very reminiscent of doing the same thing that Ray did.

That's because she's Ray's mom. Proven by this film. If we'd stayed till after the credits instead of leaving like great people, that's what we would have seen. It actually comes up. Like it's not a scene. Jen's like, I'm alive. I didn't die. And then I gave birth to...

Also, I'm pregnant. This whole time I was. I like the majority of sacrifices at the end when everyone knew they were dying. Although it did feel a little repetitive. It was like this build-up. One person dies, you're like, man.

Then another person dies, you're like, hold on. Do you know what would have been good? Like a montage of them dying. You just lost all of them at once. build up one person dies you're like man then another person dies you're like hold on then you're like oh everyone's going you just lost all of them at once like again like a war movie like just lean in saving private Ryan esque like if you had

had like you could probably get away with like one of them dying so like say like robot K2 that's his name isn't it yeah I think so like if he dies you're like ah cool like whatevs I mean like not whatevs like hey that's probably the most isn't it? Yeah, I think so. Like, if he dies, you're like, ah, cool, like, whatevs. I mean, like, not whatevs. Like, hey, that's probably the most likable. You're like, oh, that sucks. And then, like, have Blindfella then get blown up

and then, like, other guy, like, charge in and then just, like, one after the other, but, like, actually one after the other. But also, again, with those deaths, they all felt the same because they were all on the same beach. Also, so many of them died to explosions. Yeah. To a grenade, specifically.

Whereas even goddamn Mads Mikkelsen died to an explosion. Yeah. Explosion's got a lot of people this movie. But four out of ten. It's a very PG way of killing someone, I think. Even if you go for classical heist kind of stuff, when a heist goes wrong so look at

the first Mission Impossible one that Tom Cruise was in how the his heist it all fucks up and everyone dies differently Adam's twitching

real good right now but anyways I'm wired on caffeine he's the thief I've been saying this for so long but like you know

everyone dies in that team very differently like Emilio Estevez gets elevated and all these kind of things and it would have been nice to have a bit of variety here's a weird criticism this film and there were some amazing this film didn't feel

terribly creative there were some creative parts and like when it was creative it was like whoa because when it was creative it was like woohoo but like because when it got creative there was a

ship crashing into a star destroyer crashing into another star destroyer crashing into a space station ah peenhole but

the rest of it when it wasn't being amazingly creative it felt very not like those deaths it was like oh and another they could have been

creative because the thing about like you know K2 dies and like he dies like a beautiful beautiful death really good dies and he dies a beautiful death. Really good. Blind man, he dies a very beautiful death.

But everyone else kind of died samey. Even blind friend's mate. How does driver die? Explosion? Someone throws a grenade into the thing. Oh, see. That should have been the death that triggered this montage that was in my head. Because it almost sort of does do that,

because they look to the ship, because when the ship blows up, they're like, oh, no, now... We're fucked. Yeah, that's the moment where they're like, we're fucked. And that's when all the characters do start dying. But it's just really spaced out.

And I also felt it was real weird that you have blind guy die, blind guy's mate comes up and is like, oh, my God, my blind guy's mate comes up and is like oh my god my blind guy's dead. At which point also I'm mad that the stormtroopers were like I will let him have his moment. I was wondering why he's not shooting. But then he just gets

up and dies and you're like give me some time. I think his death would have been better if he just got showered in bullets. Slow motion, showered in bullets, slowly taking hits but he's taking on his mate's mantra, shooting back. That would have been good. Every now and then dodging a bullet.

See what I mean? Like, again, I know you're eights and sevens and whatever. I bumped up to a nine, actually. I started at an eight, but remembering it now, I'm up a nine. Good film. But it could have been a little bit better. Yeah, but that never gets... Such a criticism I always hear.

People are like, but it could have been great. That never gets me with a film. I'm like, but it could have been a little bit better. Yeah, but that never gets... Such a criticism I always hear. People are like, but it could have been great. That never gets me with a film. I'm like, but it was fine. Don't listen to our sister podcast, Movie Maintenance. Oh, shit, that's the whole point. Yeah. No, but then they basically make a film that is great, but that never detracts from an original film.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think it's a good film. It's just I kind of wish they maybe have a little bit more time and maybe a little bit more as you said creative yeah yeah and kind of maybe oh what if we tried this I'd be interesting to see like a second cut yeah yeah it just it just felt this was maybe one cut away from perfection or too many cuts away because they did they did do some sneaky... Or is that what happens for every film? Everything has reshoots.

But there was rumours that were like... There's problems with the editing bay, that kind of stuff. Yeah, that's what I was referring to, yeah. But then again, with big films like this, there's always problems with something along the lines. Again, I'm still... Things you liked, Adam. That's what you're doing still.

K2, when we first get introduced to him I'm like oh wise talking robot I'm getting ready to hate this And at no point did I start hating this I was the same I was like oh my gosh the quips And then not one came Once he dropped You said there were no quips

I wasn't actually listening to you Because I was about to launch into When he drops that bag from that point onwards I knew I wasn't actually listening to you Because I was about to launch into When he drops that bag From that point onwards I knew I wasn't going to hit him And fuck you You little shit You can't trick someone to win like this

You got him That's a victory for this play God fucking I'm going to thing you tonight You're going to get ate by my chest Anyway I'm going to thing you tonight You're going to get ate by my chest Anyway I'm so scared It's been the thing for months

He's teaching so much I loved the aesthetics I loved the costume design Everyone was dressed beautifully It's so cool I loved I don't know why But I got Throughout the movie I got so obsessed with looking. It's so cool. I loved, I don't know why, but I got,

throughout the movie, I got so obsessed with looking at people's like lapels. Me too. Me too. Like ranking. It's like the moment, um, Mendelsohn comes out and he's got like those like 16 red squares.

I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? Is every square. I'm trying to count them and shit like that. Being like, who's, who's got what rank. Yeah.

Oh, me too. Yeah. The rebels did it as well. Yeah. The rebels had like, the rebels had weird looking ones. It was cool. count them and shit like that being like who's who's got what rank yeah oh me too yeah rebels did it as well yeah the rebels had like the rebels had weird looking ones oh it was cool looking yeah yeah um and uh what's her name uh when they're disguised as stormtroopers or whatever that was cool the stormtroopers she's disguised as looks cool yeah i kept expecting that i i was expecting her to take out the little crisscross things on the back

because they're swords or whatever but no, they weren't used and that was kind of I liked how they addressed the fact that we don't see any more K2s as well that was cool there was this one little conversation you hear with a couple of stormtroopers being like hey, did you hear that they're going to retire the blah blah blah box?

and I'm like, good sorted it that's right I remember that literally the scene before there's a bunch of them walking around and in my head I'm like

well how the fuck are they going to explain that there's no oh yeah I'll ask to an answer but what I like is that the ones in A New Hope

are clearly going to look worse which means it was not a good upgrade ultimately in A New Hope there is no droids they go stormtroopers yeah well that's just dumb those droids. They go stormtroopers.

Those droids were real good. Surprisingly enough, they established droids are inefficient in episode one. Jack, one got brainwashed. That's going to happen with just your droids. You don't want your robots drained of information. That's what we're saying. That's why they moved to stormtroopers.

They're like, huh, droids don't work. No, okay, fair. The Rabbids have not learned that lesson. Nope. Well, no, but their droids don't. They could. R2-D2 is just a guy. They give them free will too much.

They're protocol droids. They literally just help with protocols. C-3PO could hold a gun. Could you imagine C-3PO? Yeah, but also... Episode 2. He can fire a gun. I don't think he could use... Could you imagine C-3PO? Yeah, but also... Episode 2. He could fire a gun. You know what would happen?

Oh, yeah. The same thing happens in this. C-3PO would get the shot the shit out of him. He'd get some people. No, he wouldn't. Oh, K2 taking shots like a goddamn champ. I did like how a lot of people were doing stuff without looking. That was nice.

It just occurred to me that K2 mirrors Han Solo where fucking he's like, you know, controlling the prison thing. Oh, not a prison thing, but the archive thing. And then something happens over the radio and he's like, well, screw this, I guess. And it's the same with the what's it called sign. I did not like that. I did not like that. I did not like that either.

Movies need to stop saying their title in the movie. Or if they do it, they need to look at the camera directly. But also, how else would they have explained? Like, that's their ship. If he hadn't said that, you'd be like, why was it called Rogue One? Yeah. I actually forgot that they needed to call it Rogue One. Is Rogue One, like, is that something we knew before this film?

They use it in the game sometimes. I kind of liked it, to be honest, if I'm honest with you. I kind of liked him being like, because that makes sense. You'd be like, Rogue, and then he's like, all right, I'm going with that. One, because we're the first one. Like, I'm with it. It's annoying only because it's also the title.

Yeah. But it has to be the, you know what I mean? Why they would call it Rogue One? Like, why was Rogue the first in the game? Because they went rogue I guess I don't like it 100% I just don't understand why the rebellion is so shit

My favourite bit was when Rogue One fucks off and there's a guy Yeah He just watches it go past He was monitoring all the other ones Because he's on episode four and he monitors people coming in and out. He's like, I guess that ship's going.

My panels have been offline for weeks. It's that moment where you realize how useless your job is and how pointless what you're doing is. You're like, I'm just sitting here doing nothing. Also, because that's an Imperial ship, so he would have been like, that's not good. I guess we got him, maybe.

No, that's good. Should we have let that ship come in? I like the thing, he'd just go in the little speaker and be like, should we have let that ship go? You stupid fuck, he just takes his finger off the thing. I'm not going to come down from here in a while. I'm in such trouble.

from here in a while. I'm in such trouble. I like some of the alien designs. Oh, yeah. They were nice as. Although I realized, the little Asian girl that she saved, dead.

I honestly thought, because of the tone of the film, I thought she would go to save her and she would just get shot. Yeah. Like I was waiting for her to save her and she would just get shot. Yeah. Like I was waiting for her to die. But like, but no, she did an explosion.

Also actually wait, that's the character development stuff. I was like, Oh, she saved that girl. Yeah. I went to the habit. I'm like,

Hey Jack, save the cat. It's the, I disagree because she was abandoned. She saw herself in that child. She was a little kid. That's what I mean. I was saying that she had no character

development, but there was stuff. I think it was just very subtle and I liked it. That's what I was going to say I liked. Is it your turn now? Are you done, Adam? Good, Jack, let's go. I really thought I loved, there's not a character in this movie, aside from Matt's, that I disliked.

I thought everybody had really cool kind of stories and obviously they couldn't do massive arcs for them, but I think they did a really good job of giving you like enough to go on that you can make assumptions about them. Like Jin, you're like, well, he's a very lost person, doesn't have much to live for. The only thing she did

have to live for turned out to be garbage. You know, her dad died from the Empire. But also the rebels fucked her. She's like, whatever. Fuck. I don't even know what to do with my life. I'm a prisoner. Her pseudo dad's a dickhead.

Exactly. Shit sucks for her. And then finally her dad's like this. I've given you a purpose, Jin. When she broke down. That was so good. That was good. That was really good.

And then you're like, you know what? The whole film is basically her arc, as I saw it, was Jin finding something to care about. And it goes from her having literally nothing to care about to her being like, I'll die for this. I think that's really cool. I agree. That was amazing.

I thought, yeah, you're right. I do not care about anything. And then she's going to be like, no, no, no. But it wasn't like this annoying, I don't even care. It was just like, I can stay out of this. Yeah. And also, she's been shat on that whole life. Yeah, she's like, it doesn't,

like she said, it's the only problem if you look up. You know what I mean? That's a good line. She's like, I'm down here on the ground living my regular life. Doesn't matter who's in charge. But then in the end she's like, you know what? Actually, fair enough. This is something to care about. And I thought, Cassie Wary? I liked him. I liked him

as this guy who's like, he didn't really have an arc, but his character was really cool. I liked the blind guy and his mate. I liked that they never specified what their relationship was and you can kind of spitball in your head. Boyfriends. I assumed either boyfriends, maybe.

Lots of boyfriends. Or like master and pupil. Master and pupil, or maybe some midnight smooches. Blind guy grabbing that stormtrooper in that one scene and that stormtrooper tank and all of the shots meant for him. Oh my god.

And I really, I don't know, it's always something I enjoy when somebody's like, got a bit of the power. Like, you know, he's force sensitive, but like we were saying, he's not great at it, or he's okay at it. He never actually makes it clear whether he's actually force sensitive or not. Well, I mean, like, he's a bit Force-sensitive, clearly.

What did the moon say to Jyn when she left about the Force? It was just like, trust in the Force. I like that. I thought that was dumb because I'm like, that's actually a genuine thing. You just tell people that in the Star Wars universe. That's great. I do think it's a bit ambiguous Whether or not he was powerful with the force Because in the first scene

We see him like turn his ear And you can like I feel like there's a little bit of Is he force sensitive or is he just daredevil? Is he a force sensitive or is he a daredevil? Yeah, but also Somehow he knows that Jin has a fucking crystal on her neck But she's playing with it

Exactly, because of her daredevil You can't hear someone playing with a crystal that Jin has a fucking crystal on her neck through a crowd. Exactly, because of a daredevil. You can't hear someone playing with a crystal. Guys. I really liked how they used the force in this. The force was just like religion. And every time that Jin was holding her little crystal, it was like somebody holding a crucifix.

Yeah, that was good. Just praying, basically. Yeah, I was surprised at that. I'm assuming collaborative crystal. She's probably good at that praying, dude. She's dead now She blew it up She did good boom booms

Who else did I like? I liked the pilot I thought that his changing from He was really good I didn't like him that much I think he got fucked by them trying to be both heist and war At the same time. The brain slug thing, that was weird.

But apart from that octopus monster thing, good. I really liked the climbing at the end. Don't know why. The climbing? Yeah, when Jin jumped from the control booth onto the archive, I was like, yes. I don't know why, but I was like, oh, good. And then when Cassowary was going to do it to him, I was like oh good and then when like

Cassie was going to do it to him like oh another one I had no dog brain at that point they actually cut out the scene from the trailer where the TIE fighter

pops up yeah that wasn't in the film no I didn't see it yeah good does the TIE fighter pop up in the archive yeah so pretty much in the trailer

TIE fighter wouldn't have fit in that no no no it's the other when she goes to the part where I think again because in the trailer the trailer all the trailers ended't have fit in that. No, no, no. It's the other, when she goes to the part where, I think, again, because in the trailer, the trailer, all the

trailers ended with this scene with Jin standing at the end of that, where she goes to adjust the satellite. That part, standing there after it's blown up and a Tie Fighter pops up. Yeah, yeah, that just didn't happen. I thought Mendelsohn was amazing. I thought, oh, all the character development there was so cool.

I love that personal energy between him and Mads. Yeah, definitely. I thought if you'd had maybe more scenes with them, maybe Mads would have... Maybe if you had just been like, hey, we worked together on the Death Star. No, but you can infer that, dickhead.

Yeah, but maybe infer it. Remember, he's stupid head. He's like me, idiot. We all got a dom. What else did I really like? I liked the design of everything Like Adam was saying I was looking at people's insignias But I was also looking at like outfits and stuff

Yeah I really loved everybody's outfits I wanted to just like have them all What else? What else was good? Why? I don't know if this was a thing but rogue one the ship looked a bunch like a turtle yeah yes yes that's pretty good i hope the name of that ship is like the turtle fighter

or the turt wing i don't know but i really like the shape of that ship that was good and nothing oh just nothing beats slamming a fucking Star Destroyer into another Star Destroyer. Into a fucking space gate. Above and beyond. I like space gates, actually. Yeah, that was cool. That explained a lot of stuff.

It'd be like, oh, we're quarantining this planet off. You're like, how? Here's the planet. Space gates. Space gates. Okay. Maybe this one, Empire. I like when the ships would crash into the... Yeah, that was good.

That was cool. You're like, well, that's creativity. Yeah, yeah. That was good. That's nice. Yeah, I don't know. I think that's about it. I just had a really good time.

It was a romp. It was like a lot of fun. I don't think it was a romp at all. It was so dour. I think you can have a dour romp. You can't have a dour romp. Roms are like a few... This was a romp with all. It was so dour. It was a very dark movie. You can't have a dour romp. This was a romp with no quips.

Oh my fucking god. I want to use your side, but nah, you won me over with that. It's not a romp. There's not that many quips either, but there definitely is some. I didn't feel much of a romp. It's a warm... That's like being like, Saving Private Ryan's a romp.

What a romp. It was fun. It was fun, but it was dark. It was a fucking romp. Shit. You won me. Gotcha.

They got me good. I'm sorry. I really liked the robot. I was the same as Adam. I was like, I'm going to hate this fucking robot. But then he turned around. It was just like all...

I didn't care about him dying. Ah, fuck you. They all died, Adam. Who cares? I cared about him. Everyone else, like, fine. They deserved it. Adam, it's okay.

Look, he's a robot. His consciousness was beamed up with the data. You think so? Yeah, I do. He'll be put into another robot. He's put into R2-D2. He makes all those beeps. I don't like this anymore. You don't know because it's just beeps.

I like the implication that making K... Two. Two. I want to say K-9. Making K-2 into a Rebel One. It's not as though they activated his quip thing for me. For me, it was just like, damn, he got free will. They activated him because he was bad at things.

But they kind of seemed to keep him around just because they liked him and he was a good pilot. He was a terrible liar. Well, he didn't lie. Exactly. He tried. I don't want to keep you around. What would I know? I'm just a military analysis foreplay. When they're like, where are you taking

these? To prison? Which one? Taking them to the prison? You point me in the right direction. I'll take them there. I thought that was great. Yeah, I liked every character. I thought it was just a good film. I like how it was like, oh, is it when Krr was like,

we're not here to make friends. I'm like, that's the point of the film. You are going to make friends. Yeah. I guess the only thing, why was blind guy there? Like, he was saying he was Shanghai, but also not really. He just was like, I'm part of the group now. So is my friend.

He was the force. Yeah, I guess you can explain it with being like, he's like, the force tells me I'm meant to be here. Good film. Our flaws. Does not take away from the enjoyment. It's the best Star Wars prequel. I think I enjoyed it more than The Force Awakens, personally.

I did not. But I don't have any great love of Star Wars. Empire still wins. Force Awakens. No, I like The Force Awakens better. Real controversial opinion there, mate. The best Star Wars movie is the best Star Wars movie. Has nothing stopped it?

Five, four, three, two, one. Force Awakens had better Star Wars I think I like Force Awakens more than this one 5, 4, 7 You don't care Are you done with things you enjoy?

Oh I just got what you were doing I thought you were just being activated Adam's the thing Douche is a terminator He kind of tells Amit for fucking months Shut up It's fine Jack it's not going to happen Things that didn't make sense

Again them being Shanghai'd I guess is the one I'm sure there's more I feel like we've touched on everything Yeah probably Again the story of why did she even have that crystal what was the point who cares

it's religion it's religion look again not everything has to be a bigger grander thing and I like that oh I like the

stardust stuff anyway I think the thing with that necklace is it reminds me heaps of Evil Dead where they make this massive point

of this necklace and it does nothing and again it's just a momentous connection to her mum I thought there was going to be a bigger thing and then it wasn't. I'm like, oh no, that was cool. I wasn't upset. It was just like, okay,

cool. What if, because you were saying like, why is in the hologram Mads is like my daughter if you're listening or something like that. Why is he talking like that? Maybe he's saying that because he names his... He says Stardust. Yeah, maybe he's giving a subtle

hint to the rebels. That's cool. That's cool. So that seems fucking good. Because otherwise, when they got there, they'd be like, what the fuck is it called? Yeah. Yeah, there you go. And then if you had the message being, oh, he said Stardust. There's something called Stardust. Oh, there it is. Yeah, that's cool. That's very cool. It was a kind of like,

yeah, you're right. Because like, oh, he didn't know his daughter was going to be there, but it kind of was like, if his daughter was there, great. If not, there's the hint. Hey, I'm still giving him a clue. Yeah, that's cool. That's very cool. I was worried that they called the Death Star Stardust because it makes dust out of star.

Oh, you know what else he does? He gives his daughter to robot legs, and then he sends the pilot to talk to robot legs. Yeah, that's true. He probably feels there's a good chance. That his daughter will still be with robot legs and then he sends the pilot to talk to robot legs yeah that's true probably feels there's a good chance that his daughter will still be with robot yeah yeah because i don't think he would have known that he robot legs abandoned her and robot legs went cray-cray what do we think about the fact that mendelsohn went to archive planet just coincidentally at the same there was a few of those where i'm like oh coincidence i think i don't know for me

i can forgive them yeah yeah it yeah. It's a Star War. There's a lot of in the Star War, there's a lot of coincidences. That's basically just part of the Star War. That kind of just follows on logically though, because he knows that Mads betrayed him, so he's like, well, these are where the Death Star plans

are kept. Exactly. And I loved it that he just didn't know, he was like, who are you that's been giving me all this grief yeah that was oh and you're right this is this is where it becomes like is it a heist film is it a war film because like if it's a heist film yeah they're both getting the same intel at the same time they did do but like yeah when the explosions start happening and mendelsohn's like what are you fucking you fucking doing something? I also, I liked they were like, you know, they were trying to

confuse them and send them to Pod Bay 5. Yeah, that was good as well. But what I liked is that Mendelsohn's looking out the window and you can tell he's looking at Bay 5, which isn't exploding. And he's like, something's fucking up. They're fucking rusing us. What are they doing here? That was cool. I just realized, the one part I wish the explosion at the end was closer

to the beach because it felt like a really long wait. They targeted that place and then missed it? No, they were just trying to take out the radar to stop them sending the information. Oh, that was good. Why not hit just the building? Because that's their archive. They destroy it anyway.

Well, that's probably an oversight. They're probably all sitting up there. They're starting to dream. They don't have a backup. That's on them, by the way. That's a very good point. They don't have a backup. That's on them by the way. That's a very good point.

They just blobbed the Imperial Archive. They don't have a backup. That's on them. But you gotta think about it

from their perspective. I'm gonna blob the State Library. Again, it depends on the waves and stuff. Was it water

that was coming towards them? No, it was explosion. It looks like a shockwave to be honest. But you gotta

think about it from the Empire's perspective. They're like, either the floor in our plan that pretty much ends our entire reign is discovered. You know, it's like a worthwhile sacrifice. Do they know that there's a floor? Yeah.

No, they don't know there's a floor. They just know that Mads did something. Mads has put a floor in it. Mads has given intel. Wait, do they learn that Mads has put a floor in it? Yeah. All right, cool, cool. But they don't know what the floor is because if they did,

then episode four doesn't make sense. Hence why Mendelsohn goes to the planet. He's like, I need all the information that dickhead sent because I've got to go through it. No, they should have blown it up directly just to get any ambiguity for this reason because they don't know what the floor is. If they destroy the base, then they can never find out

because they don't have the plans anymore. And the Death Star's intact, so it would all sit kind of pretty, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. How'd they make a second Death Star then if they destroyed the plans? Well, they probably didn't. They probably had backups.

They were like a fucking empire. That was one part of the beach planet. God, I loved that beach planet. That was good. Vietnam at the end. Just Vietnam. That's something I loved. Can you make a Heist film? Sure. I'm going to make such a good Vietnam film.

Fuck you. But first, we're taking a trip through the Middle East. And then we're going to do a little bit of Saving Private right in Vietnam. Are you in a heist, Phil? Yeah, that's what you get. You star wars. Really put the war back in a star war.

Anyway, go on. Yeah, Blindfellas Mates' death was very platoon. Yeah, it was. It was quite platoon. I really liked the way they would show Space battle And then transition it into ground battle That was real cool Ships knocked out

There was a couple of jarring sequence changes I think when it was the Mon Calamari And then he's viewing the Star destroyer from one view And then we quickly just gain The same Star Destroyer From a different view Several degrees to the right

When it was sky to ground it was good And it was from a Y-Wing or something There's a few jarring shots One thing that's great That is really just about Star Wars Not this film Old Man voice is just part of being a Mon Calamari. They all just talk like

old man. That's just their voice. They got the jowls naturally occurring with jazz. They just all got an old man voice. I like his little legs though. I liked when he's looking down in the bottom viewing

platform. Not effective on a battleship you don't want a straight shot onto your bridge but like it was a beautiful shot yeah not true yeah because he was just dangling yeah one bullet fucking in there and they're dead I guess that's why Mon Calamari are not

often seen on the ground because they're alright Blindfellow. It was like the king from Zelda, Ocarina of Time. That little job job guy. What were you going to say, Adam? Blindfellow taking out one of the

TIE Fighters with just, you know, like, you laughed when he blows into his hand. You laughed, but it led into a cool scene where he shoots. He's just like... He was testing his breath. No, he laughed, but it led into a cool scene where he shoots. He's just like, he was testing his breath. It did look a little dumb.

Oh, I guess it's weird. But then it leads into something that doesn't make sense. Here's a little something. When they send the fighters out to blow up Mads and the base, they find out that everything's good and they send the order to disengage.

Oh, they're already there. You have contact with them. Why did they still... Yeah, no, that's a good point. Why could you not call them off exactly? Yeah. Like you said, a lot of the stuff with the rebels kicking it was sort of...

I thought the rebels seemed almost shoehorned. Yeah. Because they, again, it's the war film thing because if the rebels acted like rebels it wouldn't have felt so weird it was because they were like nah we're gonna add as an obstacle to the plot as well yeah I think they needed to have because I think they wanted to have like

the rebels are they had because if everyone had agreed to the plan then by their own internal logic what they do later on it should have been an easy win for the rebels. Because only part of the fleet goes there and stuff like that. They want to have that tension.

That's why they did that. Because in the end, it was worth it. Maybe they should have been like, we're not going to risk our entire rebel fleet on a suicide mission. I think that was what they were saying as well. And then they were like, some of them were like, what the fuck are we doing? You've already attacked one of their bases. You fucks were fucked.

Like that was, that was right. Although I did love that, is that I go, you see the background, let her talk, what you saying? Oh man,

that was so bad. That whole scene was just weird. Like, and Jin was not, I like, there was a bit where Jin had to convince,

it was when they landed on Paradise Planet and they had to convince all of the lads that they're going to go into like war and gin comes out and gives this not terribly inspiring speech and just puts she's like i did it and then cassie wary has to come in and be like okay so here's what we're actually doing we're gonna make 10 men feel like 100 that That's a good line. He's like, I've got the lines in here. She's just like, yes, hurrah, the rebels, hurrah. He's like, yep, good. Nobody's inspired. Let me sort this out.

I got this. I got this. Heaps of Australians. Yeah, I noticed that as well. Yeah, that's good. Any closing arguments or things we want to say? Or wrapping it up? I worked an eight-hour shift that went straight into the screening, so

I'm seeing it again on Friday with a friend of the show AMAX, Aaron Magro, who has fucked off for three weeks and he's back. Ladies and gentlemen. Who knows? Maybe I'll come out of it on Friday and be like, no, best fucking film I've ever seen. But at this time being, no. It was the best of the prequels. I'll give it

that. Out of ten? Has it moved? Somewhere between a 6.5 and a 7. I'm going to go with a 7 because I don't want to shit on my own parade too much. All right. As I previously stated, I think it would be nice to see if it chose a war or a heist.

CGI. I'd hoped you'd calm down by now. I'm angry. I have calmed down. Yeah. Still made me angry. So, look, I'm going to bump it to that. Four.

Three. Somewhere between a six, 6.5. 6.5? So more towards the six. It would have been a 10 out of 10 movie if during the, when they're creeping through the jungle in the Vietnam scene, they'd played Fortunate Son. Would have enjoyed that.

If they just left it. Just actual choppers. Some folks born mad to wear the flag. What about if the film had opened with the end by the doors? Would you have liked that? And maybe trees being napalmed. Aye. But they weren't doing Vietnam napalm okay what if that the opening of the third In the last scene, I would have watched it. Flashing on screen. Title screen. Vietnam. Vietnam. You know how they have the little title down?

Vietnam. Like, the planet was like, what's the planet called? Vietnam. Vietnam 2. It would have been better if it just said Vietnam, and then you know how it always had like, it's just like, America invaded in the 60s. Just like like fuck it

just a character coming up like I love the smell of Death Star in the morning I love the smell of the Death Star's one exhaust port

firing in the morning oh man yeah I'm sitting pretty at nine I fucking loved this movie yeah I really did does that make it

your favourite Star Wars film? Actually, I liked Force Awakens better, but I think Force Awakens is not 10. So actually, I'm not sure now. Maybe bump it down to eight because of Force Awakens. All right. Sorry. After that confusing score, what's yours, Justin?

Well, what's weird? So I don't really like, like, I don't hate Star Wars, but I've never really, like, gotten into it. But this was the first Star Wars film where I feel like I could understand why someone would like Star Wars. And I just had a blast. I love the character. I really liked it all.

I think I'm sitting pretty at nine. Jesus. Yeah. Wow. Welcome to the nine club, brother. Woo! You know what this is? You're supposed to be down to an eight. You're not in jesus yeah wow yeah welcome to the nine club brother you know what this is down to an eight you're gonna get out of the nine club but you know you know what weirdly like you this film made me really want to go back and play koto like really badly and i think this captured this captured that kind of koto-esque feel of like these different people with these different abilities. You had your heavy gunner, you had your monk character,

you had your rogue character. It was, yeah. I think I just, not necessarily. It really made me want to go play KOTOR. I liked getting a weird snapshot of all these different, like the strata of the human side of Star Wars. This wasn't about your magic celebrity family causing more shenanigans. This was about just the average Joe citizen.

These are like people who have lived a life and have now died. And it's just, boop, there you go. And it's not a big dramatic death often. It's just, boop, they're people. Even Mendelsohn. Yeah. You're like, that's a human guy. Whereas I feel like in the main Star Wars thing, he's just like,

like Grand Moff Tarkin in the original, you were never like, what's he thinking about? No. Whereas Mendelsohn, I felt like gave it that real key. Actually, that's probably a bad comparison. I feel like after, because Moff Tarkin's probably the last example of that in the film, because he is just like a guy. Because as the film goes on, he gets more and more out of his depth.

Oh, yeah, no fair. He dies with his ship, like a dickhead. He's just like, ha ha, they'll never destroy my death. But even someone as beloved as Yoda. You're like, he's not really a character. He's just like a Muppet. He's like a part of the,

well, yeah, Muppets are people too. He's just like a, like a very entertaining plot device. Yeah. That's, I feel like people get mad.

This gives me more hope for a new hope for Star Wars spin-off films. Star Wars story films. Hey, bad news for you. The next one's about Han Solo. Give me the one with Childish Gambino. Yeah, that's a Han Solo one.

I don't fuck off Han Solo. I want Lando's fucking adventures. I don't love Lando. That guy's mad. Patreysia's friends wears a bitchin' cape. That guy's the Jackson of the Star Wars universe. Can we talk about the bitchin' capes of this movie? That's not a good cape.

Oh my God, the capes. Fuck me. Why did capes stop as like a fashion thing in the Star Wars universe? They don't. Capes and stashes. Capes are one of those... They're timeless. Capes don't stop in Star Wars universe. They don't. Capes and Starshers. Capes are one of those. They're timeless. Capes don't stop in Star Wars.

They just keep happening. It's just they become more and more imperial. That's such a shame. That's true. That's such a shame. But yeah, no, I feel like the Han Solo. It's like the Hitler Starsh. You can't have it anymore.

Just parting words on the future of the Star Wars stories thing. I think the Han Solo movie will be fine as long as they go far enough back. If it's too close to the Han Solo, which... If they do a CGI Harrison Ford, I'm walking out. I'll be so happy. Just walking out.

They haven't officially confirmed the Obi-Wan film, but rumours are that the reason that they are going to wait until episode 8, because episode 8 will reveal that Rey is a Kenobi and then they'll announce a prequel which will then tie that in. So, yes.

My question is, when does Obi-Wan find the time to father a child? No, see the thing is it's probably like a granddaughter. That's very boring on the sand planet. It'll be something like she's half or a quarter Tusken

Raider. It's fine. They're real watching at the moon constantly. She's half or a quarter Tuscan raider. It's fine. They're real gorgeous under their sand. Grandson, I guess. Under their hoods? Fuck me. Oh my God. A sexy beast.

And their own faces and own noises. Yes, play that. That was going I was having a delightful conversation with Dusha. What the hell are you

We're talking about fucking sand people. They'll be back. Any greater numbers. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've been Adam.

I've also been Joel. May the force be with a bunch of you guys. Always trust in the force. And also with you. I am the force. Trust in the forces, Chia? I am the force. I am with you. I am the force. Trust in the forces, Chia? I am the force. I am with the force and the force is with me.

I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with me and the force is with me. Bang, bang. Boom, boom. It's ten to five. It's bedtime. I'm going. Bye.

Fuck off.