Plumbing the Death Star - What Did We Think of Suicide Squad?

Episode Date: August 3, 2016

In which our heroes are tired and want to go to bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, that is not the weak spot. Radios are fucking everybody. I'm so fucking... You're vitriolic. You know when you're really awake because of caffeine, but also very tired? Like, my eyelids feel like they're made out of fucking hot iron. I feel like I'm just exactly where I need to be right now.

I'm just like a calm eye of a storm. I feel like everything In fact, I wish I had my laptop here so that I could do some of my finest work. From the top of my skull to the bottom of my feet, I am pure goo right now. Hang on, I'm just going to send a tweet out from Sanspan.

My skeleton is a liquid. It's happened. Fuck my fuck my life hi everyone and welcome to uh post midnight well what the fucking time is it 320 hey zamit there's a reason you don't introduce the episodes that's not how they start hey everyone and welcome to a very special mid week mid night episode of plumbing the death Star where we ask the important questions like what did we think of the Suicide Squad and how was my own personal suicide?

Cause holy shit! Are you ready Steve? Uh huh Andy? Yeah Mick? Okay Alright fellas Are you ready, Steve? Uh-huh. Andy? Yeah. Mick? Okay.

All right, fellas. That's garbage. It was fucking garbage. I've never seen a film. Wait, wait, wait. We also skipped another part that we normally do. This episode's full of spoilers. If you haven't seen the film and you're worried about us spoiling things,

stop this episode. Turn it off now. Do yourself a favor and kill yourself. Go watch the film, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because my corpse is still on the banks of the Yarrow. This might be the kind of episode you have to watch, like, you know, maybe like a month or two down the track once Suicide Squad has come out

on, like, fucking the Pirate Bay and you've torrented it because you didn't buy it and watched it there because I don't want you to see it at the cinema because you don't need that. I was both unhappy, angry, and bored at the same time. If anyone heard the episode before about us predicting it and I predicted that I'd be leaving it

it ended by me leaving disappointed. Yes, that's how it ended. Aaron Magro, modern day Nostradamus. In a year where I have seen Gods of Egypt, BVS, Warcraft, and now Suicide Squad, I can't tell you what was the worst film I've seen this year. I can't. For me, it's definitely Suicide Squad.

They're all so terrible. Yeah, but like Batman v Superman was this kind of like beautiful... Okay, let me try and give you a comparison. Batman vs Superman is like when your mate's like, I'm gonna make you a sandwich. And you're like, okay, sure. Can I just pause for a sec? Jack, what is going on with your eyebrow? It looks like you have a monobrow. Oh yeah, whoa. Why? What is going on?

Look at me, Jackson. Has something gone wrong? What did you do from leaving the movie to now? Oh no, I think I rubbed up some stuff off the text. Oh, it's text. I can I robbed up some stuff off the... It's fine. Oh, it's texta. It's texta. I can put myself on monobrow, but it's fine. Anyway.

Yeah, yes. So it's like, I'm going to make you a sandwich. You're like, okay. And he goes to the cupboard and he just starts piling shit on. And you're like, oh, I don't know how this sandwich is going to taste. And he's putting on tuna and he's putting on pickles. And he puts on like yogurt and shit. And you're like, oh.

And you take a bite. You're like, this is ridiculous. But like, I'll eat it. It's kind of okay. I'm happy here for the journey. Is it like a cultural sandwich? Suicide Squad is like, you ask the same friend

to make you another sandwich. You're like, look, that one was ridiculous. Give us another. Let's give us another and try and calm down a bit. And he's like,

all right, fine. And he just goes into the kitchen and takes a shit on a piece of bread, puts the bread layer on top and he gives it to you and you're like, well,

that's less complicated that's for sure it's easier i suppose then he pisses in a glass he's like drink that dickhead all right so i had made my hatred for this film before it even got released very well known yeah but i honestly and this is from the bottom of my heart and this isn't an act anymore i honestly thought that i would be alone in this and i would go in have a bad time or even have a fine time but like no that was just that wasn't a nothing yeah yeah yeah i was not expecting it to be this bad i was not expecting to be right for me to have left like i'm a dc fanboy i normally try to find the positives in

everything for me to have left you You bleed Batman. I bleed. At the moment, I'm bleeding blood because I'm hurt. I'm a real hurt boy. We're some tired hurt boys out there. We're copping it bad. I've been assaulted. And it just isn't good. For me to have left the film feeling the way that I feel,

something horrible must have happened. I thought I was going to like it. I thought that when we came to this moment at 3.21 in the morning, we were going to be sitting around and you guys were going to be like, oh, what a piece of shit. And I was going to be like, oh, no, it was fun. It was fun. Like, even like, maybe it was Batman vs. Superman. I'm like, oh, whatever. Like, it was ridiculous.

But hey, we're all having fun. No. This film was a rap video. It wasn't a movie. I don't even know where to fucking start. Like, I honestly don't. Where do you begin?'t a movie I don't even know where to fucking start I honestly don't Where do you begin? You can't even begin at the beginning Have we said spoilers yet by the way? Yeah we said at the start

Wow I get tuned out Before we begin I did a little bit of research in the car ride home I was going to say before we get into the negatives No no this isn't the negatives This is just some context Just banter between the boys Yeah

This is just context I was looking into it And the boys. Yeah, this is just context. I was looking into it, and you'll probably read it. It's all over. DC's like, oh, shit. And they're putting out all this stuff where they're like, here's the fucking production history of Suicide Squad. So apparently David Ayer had six weeks to write the script. Heaps.

Plenty of time. That's as much time as you should allow for such a film of that budget. They had a scheduled date that they were like, this is when it has to come out, which is when it did come out. David Ayer was like, it's not ready. We can't bring it out. And then they're like, no, fuck you, bring it in. So they were like, spent billions of dollars on reshoots. The one we got.

Billions of dollars on reshoots? Millions, at the very least. of dollars in reshoots. The one we got Millions of dollars in reshoots? Millions at the very least. The one we got which had animated intros or graphic intros for each character. I'm going to call them graphic anomalies on my screen. Where it was

like here's Harley Quinn and stats are better and the one that added mysterious extra characters for no reason David Ayer was like please don't do that but they were like no no no we're going to do it that's the one we're going with. So nobody wanted that except like the studios. What else?

It's like it's the messiest production history. You know what? For a fucking, it's a hot mess. If David spent less time getting the fucking actors to beat the shit out of each other and more time on writing a fucking script then i might feel bad for him then maybe i'm like oh it sucks they did that to your film don't get your actors to fucking punch on is this is this again if you haven't read oh i skimmed it that um if you

kind of look at this and you kind of look at bbs and everything that dc is doing and you kind of take it with is is this just the dc execs kind of crippling their creativity like their creatives yeah well and also apparently because together what they think is money and this will be good and plus this film is like it was so panicked because like batman vs superman came out and apparently the studio execs were not expecting it to be as terrible as it was everyone loved this dc have proven that they do not know what is right, and I'm declaring martial law because they are making the wrong decisions time and time

again, and I've had a fucking enough. But apparently that was part of the reason this is so bad, because the studio execs were like, oh shit. This is going to be great, everyone's going to love it. We have to make this work because this is our last chance to convince everyone we need. They haven't even shot themselves in the foot, they've shot themselves in the fucking head. Square

in the mouth. No, it's like they put a gun up their asshole and shot straight up. It's hit everything. I guess you could say that they are the suicide squad. They should be. But is this like... There's been a lot of pro-suicide messages. We're not pro-suicide.

But Jared Leto maybe. Yeah. Jared, if you're listening. we fucking haven't gotten to him yet oh yeah let's just hold on so yeah is is the problem just the because i always said i think the biggest problem with the dcu whatever the fucking calling it the dceu is that you you started with this flawed flawed piece of cinema that was man of steel and you've sort of like doubled down on bbs and you've tripled down and you know oh is it the same like is it the same execs is it the same heads of whatever the fuck is running this show is there one guy who fucking loves all these movies and

it's just like why don't people like well this film sets up the... Until the end of the film, it sets up the Justice League in a much better way than BVS does when you've just got... We'll get to this later properly, but there is a brief Flash cameo. It wasn't Flashpoint, we were wrong, but the Flash is in it, so we were a bit right. I mean...

We'll take it. I'll say we were right. That's one on the board for these boys. We actually got a lot on the board, which is surprising. Every fucking... We just, like, something could happen, I'd turn to Zabit, I'd be like, for these boys. We actually got a lot on the board, which is surprising. Every fucking... We just, like, something could happen. I'd turn to Zabit. I'd be like, we did it.

We did it again. Apparently, I predicted something that was in the trailer that I saw. Apparently a prediction, more a memory. More a memory that... Anyway, I can't even... I'm so tired, but, like... All right, things we... All right, here we go.

Things we enjoyed. Oh, just quick. I just remembered what I was going to say. Never mind. Wait, no. but like alright things we alright here we go things we enjoyed what just quick I just remember what I was going to say never mind wait no this feels very much like every single one of these we do

we're like okay we stopped no no no no well usually someone I'm sorry for speaking give you as you say usually what is happening

is I'm like alright let's get this structure and someone's like but what about this and I'm like okay but what about that

anyway during that speech then I looked over at Aaron, who rolled his eyes and neck so far that he almost died. I almost rolled my face inside out. And I had three coffees and two energy drinks and a large Coke from the cinema, and I just noticed when I crossed my arms

that both of my arms are spasming, and I am a little scared. I've eaten nothing but hot dogs today. A little bit too much caffeine. I've eaten nothing but hot dogs today. That's not even a lie. Hot dogs and coffee. So things we liked about this film. Will Smith did his best Will Smith impression.

I really liked Joel Kinnaman. Who did he be? Joel Kinnaman as Robocop. Joel Kinnaman was Robocop. What? He was Robocop in the Robocop remake. He was Rick Flagg yeah

he was the the sad boy the Jerry boy oh I hated him yeah he's my least favourite character I like him he had no depth

or complexity whatsoever I hated Jai Courtney who was he Boomerang no I love Boomerang because I'm like please I nah mate

he was bloody he wanted Tom Hardy for that role no but whatever he gave it his all and he was the only character in that film that didn't have bullshit associates that can't be that he was drinking whatever he gave it his all and he was the only character in that film that didn't have

bullshit authority that can't be that he was drinking that he crunched and threw on the ground I hope was a can of Fosters I think it was

Bundy Bundy yeah was it Bundy it looked like it get out of town should have been a VB except he had that whole pink unicorn thing

where you're like oh I hated that please shut up you're making me want to die you know what that would have been what Deadpool

yeah well yeah exactly it's almost like doesn't that happen in Deadpool? Fuck a unicorn. No, there's a scene in Deadpool where he's like, I will fast-forward to this part and fast-forward To pass out to him jerking off with all my little pony sitting on his face. He's like, whoa So that was awful but everything else about like Everyone else was garbage Except maybe kind of Will Smith But Boomerang was just Boomerang He didn't want to be there but he just was

Harley Quinn was very badly written But Margot Robbie was a good Harley Quinn Oh no Her performance was good Given the trash she was made to act Her dialogue was like a shit in my mouth. Oh, actually. Her characterization was like another shit in my mouth.

And her story arc was... A third. A third shit. My mouth is full of three shits. Three shits. From the Harley Quinn. David Err. You got your two flashbacks for it, eh?

Yeah, you did. And I was like thinking, oh my god, I predicted zero dream sequences and then bang. There's some fucking dreams. You know what I liked? I liked the boomerang. Who was there? We just didn't see what he wanted. Who cares? There was one dream sequence

and I only ate one choc top. There you go. I tried to buy a second one but the line was too long. Hey, who was Slipknot? Yeah. Oh! Fuck! Did I say three minutes or did I just think that? Because he was literally on screen for less than three minutes. He has one line where he's like,

she should shut her mouth or something like that after he just punches some lady out. Then he disappears. Then he dies. He gets his neck popped. For every single person we got this like this bullshit thing that I joked about of like this person

their stats their title and we just didn't get one slip not at all no backstory who knew who this lovely person is

even Katana we got something we got a backstory for her also why did Katana just like sit down with the blokes having a drink in the bar

yeah she just fucking turned on them. Because she's like, you know what? Okay, look, we've got to do the structure. Anyway, anyway. That's part three. All right, fine. Batflick is another thing I liked.

Some of the acting was good. Will Smith was... The soundtrack was... Will Smith was Will Smith, and that's all right. But he was not annoying Will Smith. He was Will Smith just doing whatever. He had flashes of Will Smith Will Smithing. Yeah. like when he made jokes about white people that's true i would have i would probably watch a a deadshot solo movie yeah me too well it's like this film should

have been a deadshot and harley quinn film but they just like what if we put more characters in it no but like deadshot was anyway that's not what we're talking about what we're talking about is what's good and so far we have Will Smith what I've said Batfleck at least 7 times He's in the movie for like 4 seconds Of course he's good We didn't stutter

Batfleck was good Fine move on He was nothing The visuals of He wasn't anything That's like me being like you know who was good The Flash on. Yeah. He wasn't. He was nothing. The visuals of... He wasn't anything. He was literally that's like me being like, you know who was good? The Flash. Hey, the Flash is stupid. The Flash was good.

The Flash was good because that was all we got. He wasn't on screen enough for me to be disappointed. Enchantress or sorceress or whatever looked cool when she was a spooky devil lady. She looked like the grudge lady. She looked horrendous in the third act of the film when she her head was standing straight

but her body was doing weird dances. Yeah, I was like, no, she's having a little bit of a dance. That was good. I like that. Why did that happen? Enchantress rave. Why does a lot of the things happen? No, no, we're talking about things we love.

Oh, that's what I was going to say. Fucking Amanda Weller. She was really good. Yeah, she was sick. She was the best character in the film by far. She was. I kind of hated when she was trapped in the helicopter and then she was just sort of like guns

because you're like, that's actually not... Like Amanda Waller in the comics or like her character is like she's like tough as nails, but she doesn't ever kind of get her hands dirty and that's kind of cool. What about when she shoots all the FBI agents in the film? Did you hate that also? I did.

That was good. Yeah, I was not a fan of that. I was like, why? I agree. That would be in my, the third act of this episode. Things that don't make sense. I would be like, what is it? Is it a fan of that I was like why I agree that would be in my the third act of this episode things that don't make sense that would be like

what is it is it a show of power to who that would have been a to level a playing field for the audience so the bad guys don't seem so bad

because the good guys yeah but that's not good characterization everyone's bad that's just stupid but they're bad guys I'd like to point out that I'm still drinking

an energy drink despite the fact I can't sit still I would have had her order someone to shoot them yeah yeah that's alright have Rick Flagg shoot them yeah actually fuck that would that's all right. Have Rick Flag shoot them. Yeah.

Actually, fuck, that would make a lot of sense because Rick Flag's like, you're a hired mercenary. You could kill people for money. And then if Amanda Weller was like, kill them, and he did. Then Deadshot could have said something like, we all kill people for money or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would have been a bit more interesting. Or what's the difference between me and you? Nothing. Yeah, exactly. You know what? Fuck, give me the script, David. I'll do it good.

We've got to do this like we did the others. So we go around in a circle. We'd say the three favourite things of the film. Starting with Jay-Z. This is also a staple of these episodes. Arguing about the structure of the episode and no one letting anything happen. I will be quiet now.

Things I like. Things I like. I like some of the action sequences. When they didn't drag, they were good. Like Deadshot's shooting a bunch of those lads. Yeah, I like that. That was cool. That was good.

I like most of what Deadshot did. I like the acting of Joel Kinnaman. I know you didn't like the character of Rick Flagg or whatever his name was, but I liked Joel Kinnaman. I think he's't like the character of Rick Flagg or whatever his name was, but I liked Joel Kinnaman. I think he's a good actor and he was very good in that. And I think the general gist of most of the actors, when they had enough time to do stuff, was good.

I think Margot Robbie was a good actress of what she got, but what she got was a shit in Jackson's mouth. Three shits. But she acted well in that. What else? Come on. Screwing the bottle of barrels here. Things I enjoyed of

this film. You know what I was thinking the whole time I was watching it? This better be a thing you liked. Yeah, this is what I liked, okay? This is all I could think about the whole time, right? That was too slow. One last thing is how Batman was interconnected with some of them, and when I first thought it was just going to be,

oh, it's all going to be Batman, but then they switched it to the Flash. I kind of liked that little bait and switch. It was like a beat one, beat two. Oh, we changed it for the third one. That was good. Flipped the script on you. That was good. That was nice.

He was there for the big baddies. it for the third one. That was good. Flipped the script on you. That was good. That was nice. He was there for the big baddies. Yeah. It was good. It was good. That was the three things that Zamet liked in this film. Aaron. The As-Man. Big bad As-a.

As-a Dazzle. So mad. The As-la. The As-la. As-la Dazzle. What did you like about this film? Three things. You ought to choose.

You have to have three things. You have to have three things because it's easy to only list one. Because Will Smith is everyone's answer. Because it's hard. I didn't like Will Smith in this. Okay, give us three good things. Right, exactly. Three good things.

Three good things. Don't prod me. I'm just waving three fingers at you. I have an open wound Joel I liked the fact that actual people needed to go to work every day

and put effort into making this film and there were more than three of them so to all you people in the crew to all you people in hair and makeup

and costuming and stuntmen special effects don't thank the special effects team. To all of you people that just did what David told you to do, thank you, and I acknowledge your effort, and I'm just sorry that...

You know what? Good point. Good bloody point, mate. I was watching the whole thing being like, I get the stagecraft element that people put effort into this, and this is their job. I'm not knocking them at all. I just think that the material that they were given to work with was literal shit.

And so to the more than three of you, I've got more than three things that I liked about this film and it was every one of you. Don't be disheartened. Get back on the horse. Try again. Go back to another film and do your thing. This just wasn't it. Like, based on that. You're trying to do the horse. Try again. Go back to another film and do your thing. This just wasn't it.

Like, based on that. You're trying to do the wrong thing, guys. You got paid for it, though. That's pretty good. And I like Batfleck. Batfleck? Fleck. Batfleck.

Yeah. Bamfleck. Bamfleck was good. He was also good for the reasons that Zammett stated. I also like the Batmobile. Alright. Oh yeah, that was a new Batmobile, wasn't it? Sure. Three of my three things.

Alright, JD, come on. I'd just like... Wait. My brain is going... It's a million miles an hour. Very slow and very fast. Things I liked. Will Smith. I liked some Rick Flag scenes before he got sad. When he got sad, he gave me the shits. Oh, handheld.

I like these names Joel. That's all right. That's good. The actor, not Rick Flagg. Rick Flagg's name is Rick. It's Rick Flagg. That's all right. Did you like Amanda?

Oh yeah Amanda Will Smith playing Will Smith real well And Rick Flag Before he got there When he was recruiting people he was pretty good Yeah that recruiting bit was okay Some aspects

Some of the scene where Deadshot is showing off, some of that was good. That scene was all right. Like a good 80% of that scene. Actually, I think I laughed out loud once, maybe twice. No, see, I hated that scene because at the end, he's like talking to the guy, Rick Flag, Deadshot is, and he's like, this is what I want if you want me to be on your-

I didn't laugh out loud. I'd be like, get back here, fucking Sal, you idiot. No, but here's what he said. He said, shut the fuck up, you stupid cunts. Here's what he said. He said, there it is, classic. He's like, this is what I want. Yada, yada, yada.

I want this and I want this and this. He's clearly talking. He even says, if my daughter can't get into college, you give a white person that shit, right? Whatever, fine joke, who cares? And then he's like, man, you ain't in a position to argue. And he's like, well, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to your boss.

And you're like, no, you were really talking to him. Super clearly. You were looking right at me. It was a quip. And it was a fucking terrible. How do you feel about quips? Oh, that's why I said 80% of that scene. Basically, at the end of that film, I turned over to Zambit.

I pulled up my top, and there were bullet holes in my flesh. Where the film shot you. Where the film killed me with quips. Blood just started pouring through my grey jumper, and I was like,

Zabit, goodbye. I did love that moment when Harley breaks a thing, and she's like, what, we're the bad guys? Not one laugh in the cinema. That was good. Nobody laughed. Everyone was like, I understand We're the bad guys. Not one laugh in the cinema. That was good. Nobody laughed. Everyone was like, I understand that's garbage.

There was 100% a laugh in the cinema. There was like little giggles towards the front of the screen. I think I giggled because of how uncomfortable I was. No, there was... I remember there was... There was some laugh. In that one scene there wasn't. No, 100% there was laugh because I heard it and I was like, oh, did that fall flat?

And then I heard... Maybe somebody felt like something. Maybe they were bloody... I would say that... The jokes do fall flat in this film. Oh, they're terrible jokes. Anyway, the three things I liked. The costumes were alright. Yeah.

You know what? I really liked Boomerang's costume because he was just wearing clothes. His jacket was mad. Harley Quinn, I'm like, why not just give her pants? Why can't anyone have pants? But you see so many times in this movie, it's like, remember classic Harley Quinn? Because in the fucking flashback,

you get that fucking shot from the famous one where she waltzes in with the fucking joker. I need to duct tape my eyelids so that I don't fucking turn my head inside out. Again, you're real struggling. I thought you were tired, but no, you're just fighting your demons. I dig that Harley Quinn's outfit in this was kind of inspired by

you know those street clowns in America? Yeah. It was kind of inspired by that. So give her big baggy street clown pants. That's sick. Those people do street clowning and it's like a martial arts. It's better if she wears a stripper for a bit. Yeah, that was garbage. Why make that happen? Anyway, but the costumes were sick. I liked whatever her name was, Katana's costume.

That was cool. She had a cool mask and she- She had a carnivale. Yeah. Dead shots. White mask looked like something he got from a Halloween store. Lucky he only wore it once in a film just to remind everyone that he had a mask. It's like shit got serious.

He's like, better put on my mask. That blinds me a bit. Now we're in for it. Also, better put on the- For one scene, an inconsequential- Oh, his intro was good. Huh?'re in for it. Also, better put on the, for one scene, an inconsequential... Oh, his intro was good. His intro was good. His intro was good. I like that. There were a lot of moments in this film,

and I know this isn't a thing I like, and I was harping on about that before, so I apologize. There's a lot of scenes in this film where people put on and take off clothes unnecessarily. When Harley Quinn's leaping into the helicopter, why does she get rid of her jacket? Keepy jacket. She's hot. She's sweaty. Aerodynamics, I guess. Anyway, so I like the costume. Kill does she get rid of her jacket? Keepy jacket. She's hot and sweaty. Aerodynamics, I guess.

Anyway, so I like the costume. Fucking velour. Oh, yeah. Killer Croc had, like, a velvet hoodie for no reason. That was pretty fancy. I was like, does that catch on his scales? Because velvet, like, catches. Killer Croc in this film could have literally been played by a scrotum and would have had the same amount of fucking charisma on screen.

There was one bit where he talks and his mouth just didn't move. Other bits where he talks and his mouth moves. But one bit, yeah. There were bits he spoke where I was like, what? I didn't know what he said most of the time. I'm beautiful. In the end, when he's getting everything they want and he's like, I'll have a brr brr and then he's watching TV and you're like,

I guess that's what he said. I guess he got crocked. Do you realise that that TV shouldn't be in a water-filled cell? That's really dangerous. It's also a positive because next time I'm shaving my balls, I'm like, you guys could be movie stars. So I liked it. That was good.

I liked Boomerang. I thought he was great because he didn't give a fuck and that was nice. But he did. He was a real boy. I liked that he ran away. He cried when El Diablo killed his family. Yeah, I don't know why he was crying then. Who cares? I liked how he ran away when el diablo killed his family yeah i don't know why he was crying then who cares i liked how he ran away yeah he's really going right away but then like literally the next scene he was back and it feels like they had this idea for what they wanted

him to be but then they were like oh he's got it um it felt very much like of course but like every other character like oh my god el diablo killed his family super sad have a cry oh my god margot robbie she's in an unhappy relationship with the Joker. Will Smith has a daughter he teaches math to when he gets one day off with her and he's like, instead of spending this day loving my daughter, I'm going to teach her math. But they're like, boomerang? He's just boomerang.

And that's alright. He doesn't get anything either. At the end of the film he's just in a shell. He's a shell. He's in a shell. Was Diablo meant to be like one of the main protagonists in this film? Because I feel he was the only one or one of the few that had an arc. Was he meant to be, like, on the moral high road the whole time? But he's the one that actually went through a journey.

No one else did. Everybody else said the same, but he went through a journey, but also not really. Deadshot went through a journey. He just didn't go through a... He didn't change, though. He didn't change. Like, as in,. He just didn't go through a- He didn't change, though. He didn't change. Like, as in, like, he didn't go through- He had a plot journey.

Diablo is the only one that had a character arc. Yeah. And it wasn't a good one. It was like, hey, you were violent and you killed your family. And then Deadshot's like, pacifist. Be violent. Killed your family. Violent.

Yeah, violent for being violent's sake. Pacifist. And then violent for a reason to save his new family. Plus he's the only one who dies. And then, yeah, he... Slipknot dies when his head just...

I like Boomerang. I like the costume. Hey, sorry, just a quick question, and I'm only bringing this up now because I will 100% forget later on. El Diablo stops being violent when he kills his family. Yeah. He got arrested for killing his family, but in the prison yard he kills like 100 people.

Yeah, and then he stops again, I guess. In that video, he's laughing. Yeah, right, he is too. Fuck. He just thinks it's real funny. No, but like- No, but you guys, he's got an evil fucking Mexican Satan man in him. He does.

That's the problem. He's got an actual Satan in him. Look, people are going to come out of this film like, oh, Fire Hulk, good. I love that Fire Hulk. Four Hulk elements. What a Hulk, Fire Hulk. No, Purple Hulk, Normal Hulk, fucking Blue Hulk and fucking Fire Hulk.

Those are the Hulks. It's all a united universe now. One last thing you like. What else did I like? I can't even remember what I liked, even though I've already said it. You like Will Smith? He was good, but like- How was your drink in the film?

Oh, I know, it went watery. I can't even do that one. So I had two drinks. Oh, I kicked over my fucking one of my drinks. There was one moment where something happened and you were like, oh, and I was like, no, that's all right. What was it? What was that?

That, whatever that was. You were like, oh, that's so bad. I'm like, no, it's all right. It's pretty good. So whatever the fuck I was talking about then is my go to third thing there you go this movie sapped my spirit

and okay so now is this things we hated yes soundtrack soundtrack I fucking hated

the soundtrack and I was like please why did we get a new song every third or three seconds every single scene and they weren't even put in

like they didn't start what's the word mix they weren't mixed properly every single scene in the first half of the film has a different song. Yeah. That sounds like an exaggeration. It felt like watching wrestling.

Everyone had their own fucking theme music. And I was really, really expecting for, like, again, when something happens, when Diablo's like, look, fire bullshit. I really, really thought we were going to hear burning down the house. I really did. But it didn't happen. And I'm like, why? That's the thing you hated. Burning Down the House didn't happen.

But yeah, honestly... That's a takeaway there. It was getting so predictable. I'm like, fuck this? There's probably like 30 to 35 different songs in the film. I want to know what their music rights budget was. Because I reckon that would have been

fucking huge. But also like it did really because this film's going to get compared to Guardians of the Galaxy quite unfavourably and that's funny

but they also picked a song from that film and put it in. But also there were scenes that the first Okay, if you make a film or you say

look, you're in year 12 and you put together some scenes and then you give it to your mate who's like he's like the mate who knows music Yeah, he's like your music He's like your scenes and then you give it to your mate who's like he's like the mate who knows music yeah he's like he's like your music mate and you give it to him like hey do you know some songs that would go to these scenes and he just literally picks the first

thing that comes to his mind like yeah oh look they're fucking uh helicopters in the sky oh let's put this one where they talk about people in the skies yeah Yeah, done. Done, mate. Also. Like, he fucking chewed winks at the camera. Also, that Eminem song did not fit at all. Yeah, it was weird. Wait, like, they used an Eminem song when everyone's getting ready? Oh, it's because they were back in, like, they just didn't, it was weirdly paced. It was weird. Guess who's back. Like, that didn't make any sense.

Because it should have been, like. Back from where? Back from. Jail? Jail. Or, like, being bad, like, because they were bad guys, and they were in jail, and now they're back like being bad like because they were bad guys and they were in jail and they're back to being bad guys and then there was this big sense of like you know honor among thieves and that kind of stuff but they thief that they didn't really they didn't really show that no

they didn't really have that this film had like the worst case of like show don't tell if they just fucking fucked all the backstories i hated all the backstories i don't want to see a film of backstories you know what the to see a film of backstories it doesn't matter the first third of the film is just montages of backstories and if they focused more on developing the characters

and showing us more of them doing shit and interacting with one another and blah blah blah and less on how they got there you know what else I fucking hated but you know what else I fucking hated you know what else I fucking hated I fucking hated the Joker

I fucking I hated Jared Leto no wait wait wait my head's about to I'm just smoke coming out of my ears

because my brain's skipped a circuit Joker I think was the literally worst Joker I've ever seen on camera

please please please please let me have this I think, was the literally worst Joker I've ever seen on camera. Please, please, please, please let me have this. I think that's all I want to say right now about that. I just think it was the worst. That's all I'm allowed to say at the moment, but I'll come back to it. Yes, Dusha? All right. So, as I've mentioned before, whilst filming this, Jared Leto did terrible things to the cast members,

stayed in character the whole time he has maybe 10 minutes maybe 15 of screen time and he is the most fucking

lifeless piece of shit on screen I have ever seen fucking Will Smith playing Will Smith that if

fucking he was a method actor I'm like yeah no that makes more sense he doesn't do anything he's never intense he doesn't do anything fucked up he's like haha I

shocked Harley Quinn a bit if they put his makeup off and called him like Greg that would have made more sense because he wasn't the fucking Joker you were Greg he was like one of those rappers that you see where you're like, oh, you're not really rapping about shit because you're just like so famous you're mad about jets.

He's the bad guy from Too Fast, Too Furious. Like he was. He walked around like a fucking gangster. But not like a 1920s gangster because it's Gotham. Like a modern day baller. Why? Where is that? He fucking reminds me of

fucking Ninja in fucking yes he's so much like Ninja from De Antwoord or Chappie if you've seen that and aren't familiar with South African rap groups that's on you Google De Antwoord he easily could not have been in that and that would have been fine

it would have made no difference Jared Leto should definitely be in jail. There's no fucking... no doubt about it. When has the Joker ever been that sexual? That's the thing. He's not meant to be. And the thing with him and Harley's

relationship with, we've never really seen that. Well, the good... and part of Harley Quinn's character is that she's... and that's like what's part of her crazy is that she's kind of obsessed with the Joker. And they're doing and part of like harley twin's character is that she's and that's like what's part of her crazy is that she's kind of obsessed with the joker yeah and they're doing like a lot of neat stuff with her in the comics and like they're sort of changing that up but it's kind of a core part of her character and so when you make it that it's like it's like a proper loving relationship you're like you're something's out well they've almost given what are you doing

yeah like because the joker, like, obsessed with her. Because his role in the film, if for some reason you're listening to this and you haven't seen the film, which I know is... Which, fair enough. Look. Well done. It's very better for you. Welcome to the party. Cool party.

Is that, yeah, pretty much the Joker's role in this film is he appears first in, like, flashbacks or, like, fucking character development for Harley Quinn. But then his role in the film is trying to track down Harley to rescue her, even though she has bombs in her head. It's like saving private Harley Quinn. But he does it in a way where he's like obsessed with her. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like,

and there's like this, like his motives were all wrong. Another point that I really hate with this whole joke. And also this Joker Harley relationship is at the end in the dream sequence, like I can give you everything you want. And they go to Harley's dream. And it's this fucking domestic life that she's living with the Joker. That made me so angry.

With the kids. And I'm like, I don't know a lot about these characters, but I know enough to go, that's wrong. No. Harley Quinn is a university educated, like she's a psychiatrist. And she's batshit insane. Yes. Her dream was not to be a domesticated housewife for the fucking Joker.

Her and the Joker having fun. Living it up. Being like a partners in crime. Fucking idiots. That's not the point of that. The point is she just wants to be with the Joker when he doesn't have green hair. Like a brown hair. Oh my God, you're right.

She's always like, take off that dying makeup. You look like a fool. And those kids were just kids that they kidnapped. Yeah, they were going to eat them. I hate you. I hate you all. Now it makes sense.

Sick, I get it. Never mind. No, that's perfect film. I don't care. Like, okay, you make the Joker a bit sexual or something, that's fine. They didn't make him a bit sexual.

They made him overly sexual. He was a sex pest. No, but- They made him Jared Leto sex. It's like you've got, you know, kind of goofy... You should blame Jared Leto. But it's like you got, you know, your kind of camp joker with Jack Nicholson. Then with Heath Ledger, you've got kind of like...

Really intense. Intense joker. And this is just like rapist joke. You're like, that's an odd character direction. What are you doing? No. I think, you know, when you talk about adaptations, it's fine to kind of do something new and fresh and interesting

and that kind of stuff. So long as you kind of take the core elements of what you're adapting. I can't. And, like, the most important relationship with the Joker is his relationship with Batman, right? Yeah. Can you imagine this Jared Leto? That's what I was just about to say.

Could you imagine Batfleck and Jared Leto's Joker together facing off? No. Oh, fuck. I just can't imagine think of that. And I would say the best characterization of Batman versus the worst characterization of the Joker. But the Joker is meant to be obsessed with Batman, getting under his skin.

And likewise with Batman, he's meant to be sort with Batman, getting under his skin. And likewise with Batman, it's meant to be... He's meant to be sort of obsessed with taking him down and knowing his psyche. They're the yin and yang. Two sides of the same. Yeah, it's just not right. One bad day.

Yeah. One more day. Spider-Man. Bring back Aunt May. If you're a real hero, Batman, you'll save Aunt May. Not like... Oh, There was something else really... Oh, another really strange thing that I did not think about until just then. The prison guard has a story arc that just stops halfway through the film.

He has like a... You're like, oh, he's going to get killed by the Joker, but no, he's not in the movie. Yeah, he is. When? He helps break Harley out of prison. No, after that. No, hang on. Where do we last see him? Because he's like He's in the helicopter, you doofuses, and then he dies

When? Yeah, he's driving the helicopter He's in the helicopter when the Joker is, yeah No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no That was a different guy No, that was the same, the prison guard that kept hassling Will Smith Yeah That was a different guy, the one on the minigun? No, he was in the back of the helicopter, he was maybe driving it or something

Yeah, I was like, because I remember seeing that and being like, oh, the Joker recruited him, I guess. Yeah. Because like the last scene I remember seeing him in was when Holly's getting wheeled. No, no, no. He's definitely in the helicopter after that. I remember he's fucking that terrible beard. Yeah.

Yeah. And I remember being like, oh, there he is. Rubbish beard. Yeah. So, but that's not an arc. You can't be like, cunt prison guard, you're mean to Will Smith. The Joker's like,

I'll get him. Will Smith's like, I'm gonna get you. He helps Kali and then dies in a helicopter which pops up, blows up. Why?

The pacing was super weird. Oh, okay. They cover the entire film in like 20 minutes and then like, fuck, we still got like 90 to go. Yeah, the big bad,

like the whole like enchantress being like evil and shit and trying to take over the world that happens real quick hang on a second real quick i want to quickly play a game with everyone what is the plot of this film all right can we each try and describe it yeah jackson you can go first amanda waller tries to get a bunch of lads together because she's scared of a mean Superman. And then one of the lads she gets is a ghost and gets her ghost brother out of a businessman who need to make a space machine and they got to stop the space machine with a bomb.

Also, her ghost brother becomes an orange devil man and she becomes like a moon goddess there's a scene where they drink and lots of helicopters crash did i get it that's not being plot and just started being like description of events and things that happened yeah damn it what's your um yeah so uh amanda wall, so Amanda Waller. It's a good start. It's a good start. Because the start's easy. But it's not the start.

The start we got was stupid. Yeah. What was the very start of the film? Let's introduce Deadshot and Harley, then no one else. And then introduce Amanda Waller, then introduce them again. Why? You could have just started with Amanda Waller. Anyway.

Well, I guess they probably heard our episode. Oh, I like that guy from Stranger Things. Yeah, I just like him because he's in Stranger Things. Hopper. I haven't seen Stranger Things, I'm out of the loop. But I liked him more in Stranger Things because he had a beard. And that was a good show with a plot and character development. Alright, so the plot.

So Amanda Waller is worried about a bad Superman. She's a bit spooked. Any fucking excuse to show that funeral procession again. So she recruits a bunch of lads, and we learn about these lads in a flashback, through lots and lots of flashbacks. And then

they've got a demon ghost lady, who's being possessed by someone. So she's got their heart in a suitcase, and the ghost lady's like, I want my heart back. But she's got their heart in a in a suitcase and the ghost lady's like i want my heart back but she's like no if you try i'm gonna stab it a bit and she's like damn it hurts and so then she's possessing someone who rick flagg loves because she set that amanda waller set that up to happen to his reasons um so she could have r Rick Flagg doing what she wants.

And then they're like, something. And then in her sleep, the Rick Flagg lady is like Dr. Cole was her name? Dr. Moon, I thought. Dr. Moon, maybe. Dr. Moon was like, and then the Enchantress pops out and she's like, you shut the fuck up, I thought. Dr. Moon, maybe. Dr. Moon was like, Enchantress! And then the Enchantress pops out and she's like, you shut the fuck up, I'm gonna do some shit. And she shows Rick Flag the death of

the woman he loves. And then she goes and gets her brother out of a businessman. No, it's like, puts him in a businessman first. The businessman's just trying to go home from work, guys. And then the businessman is like, what the fuck happened? I'm chockers full of a demon.

And then just falls down. Oh, boy. And then a demon pops out of him. Yeah. And everyone's like, shit, a demon. You just saw it's Jackson. I would like a man in the response time of the doctor. And then Amanda Waller's like, oh, this is what we've been planning for.

Send your ghost lad. And he's like, sick, I'll send my ghost lad. Unbeknownst to everyone that the ghost lad is, or ghost lady is the sister. And then she's like, now we're together and let's rule the world. That was a very confusing scene where she's like, men worship machines now. And I will make a machine. That wasn't a machine. That was magic.

Also, what was the point of that machine? She wanted humanity to come and be like, well, that's God now. Yeah, because then she used that machine to destroy all of, like, strategic military bullshit. Their main satellite. And so they do that, and they ruin a whole city, and that's when they'll, like, send the military lads and the suicide squad. And then we get more flashbacks.

And while this is happening... The whole time there's a struggle between the fucking... Joker is like, I want my Harley back. I wish I didn't leave her in a fucking lake. And then the squad is just threatening to leave the whole time. And then, yeah, and then they get there. And then there's, like, it seems like you've got to pick up the pace where things are kind of happening really fast.

So instead they have a drink at a bar, which you never see them drinking because that was in the trailer, but they didn't have that in the film. Yeah. There's like, what are you drinking in the trailer? But we don't have that at all. For some reason.

For some reason. And then that rule just like slows down the pace like to a snail's pace. They have like a break yeah they're like we'll get him but first smoker first and then like a lot of like there's some character interactions that make no sense from what we've just previously watched and some characters do things which are odd choices uh like katana being one. Characters develop consciences. And then they fight the moon lady.

And devil Diablo boy has another devil. He's a Mexico fire saint. He's a fire hulk. Yeah. And he's a god as well. Yeah. I guess that's the story. And then they blow up.

He dies. And then they. Roll credits. Roll credits. And then like Amanda Waller's like, I'll give you Roll credits. Roll credits. And then, like, Amanda Waller's like, I'll give you ten years off your sentence. I guess that's not a lot. Will Smith can see your kid,

but Boomerang can just scream into a camera. Yeah. And Harley can have a coffee. Did I win as well? I reckon I could do that in less, way less words. All right. Amanda's got an idea, a real bad one. Let's assemble a fucking team of psychotic fucking idiots

that should be behind bars to save the world from an evil Superman. Cue funeral procession of dead Superman. We get it. He's dead. Remember. We do. Also, because there's blokes with t-shirts. It's funny because she's like,

we all thought Superman was going to save the day, and then he didn't. And you're like, yeah, but don't go getting the crazy people. Oh, but Superman did save the day. There's an American flag. We get it. But, like, Superman did save the day. She's talking out her ass.

Anyway. We end up at the Pentagon, and she's pitching her idea to the top generals of the United States. Yeah. Amanda, that's a horrible idea. Amanda, that's a horrible idea. Yeah, you're right. It is a horrible idea.

It's at that point that the entire movie should have ended. Because it shouldn't have gone through the fucking planning stage. No. She's got an archaeologist that's fucking possessed. Because she got. Chockers full of demons. Chockers full of demons. She fell in a hole. She's got an archaeologist that's fucking possessed because she got- Chockers full of demons. Chockers full of demons. She fell in a hole that had a devil in it.

She's got her heart inside a suitcase and she's like, Enchantress. And then she fucking comes and does a thing. Oh, that was a thing I liked. The first time she turns into Enchantress. Oh, the hand? The hand. That was sick.

I was like, oh, that's going to be how she changes. No. She steals an Iranian book, like a military missile book, and so then the general's like, oh. That was the worst pitch ever. Come on, guys. You can't just go approving plans based on that. That's basically what I was like.

What do you have to say about that? Hi, my name's Jackson Bailey. Look, what I want to do is I have this idea for a task force of mountain gorillas. Here's a mountain gorilla and here's a terrorist. And I just let it go and it beats the shit out of the terrorist until he's a bloody pulp. I put the collar back on the gorilla and they're like, it worked. Send him out.

That's basically what she did. Here's an untested, completely unregulated. It kind of questions how much power does Enchantress have? Because if she can just, in like less than half a second, trough over halfway around the world and grab something and come back, like... Nah, but the light on the suitcase turned from green to red and she got

spooked and therefore couldn't do that, so then she released a demon brother. Remember that? She couldn't get her own heart back. But I know what you mean, you can't actually elevator pitch this movie. You can't describe the plot of this this movie You can't describe the plot Of this movie in one sentence Because the plot is very simple The plot is

Getting a bunch of bad guys To do good But they don't do that Which they do not It's terrible No but like There's no I feel like I'm not

Telling the world How bad this film is It's worse than Batman V Superman It genuinely feels like A rap video Yeah It genuinely feels like

You fucking chucked it on VH1 Or fucking What was that video hits back in the day rage rage and you're like what is this and it's like probably on right now actually anyway keep going it's 4 a.m just letting you know and you're just like what is this and it's like a lot of bright colors and lots of changing music titties and then it ends fuck you suicide squad my eyes are doing that thing again yeah um no hey because i honestly and then it ends. Fuck you, Suicide Squad. My eyes are doing that thing again.

Yeah. No, hey, because I honestly feel like there's something. Let's go through the characters. The things we liked and did not like about them. So Deadshot, I think I like most about. I don't get a chance to pitch my plot of the film. That's fine. What's your plot of the film?

Get it out of your system. No, I just feel like this isn't like a setup for an elaborate joke or anything like that. I just feel like the movie feels like it's missing an elaborate joke or anything like that. I just feel like that I'm... The movie feels like it's missing something. Because she's like... Amanda's like, fuck, let's get a team together. They're like, alright, fine.

It felt there was a scene missing. But then we get that scene in a flashback. It was weird. But then the person that's like... Also, I'm real fucking confused because they show you a scene and then they give you a flashback of the same scene and it's different. Which one actually fucking happened? Oh, no, because what happened was it's like, all right, your brother's upstairs, but I don't know if it's your brother.

So chuck this bomb. And then we get a flash forward and it's kind of like shit just went down. And it was like I went to Jackson. I think we missed a scene. And we did because then we get that in the flashback later on. There was no need for that. But it's what we got. I was in the cinema.

I didn't pee or anything. I didn't fall asleep. Why do I not remember that at all? But yeah, that's basically- I wouldn't have known what was going on if Zaman hadn't explained it to me. It was very an odd choice. You didn't need- Because we all, as the audience, we knew what was going to happen.

We knew because they were sending the Enchantress to go and fight her brother. And we're all like, it's going to fucking happen. because like they were sending the enchantress to go and fight her brother and we're all like it's gonna fucking happen but then they don't show us that and they'd be like man something bad happened oh wait no yeah i do remember it now and so you're like why did you why did you think that we needed a reveal for that because we as the audience already know that it was so good you know it's kind of like it treats the audience like oh you don't know some things and you know some things, and it's like, no, no, we knew everything. We know everything. There was no twists in this film.

I figured out the reason why this plot is so weird. They had an idea for a film to make a Suicide Squad film, but they didn't have a story for it, and they're like, I guess we'll just make it sort of like a recruitment film, but then also not really, and then I guess they can just fly to each other. Well, because they go through the recruitment. An origins recruitment film. So here's where really, and then I guess they can just fight each other. Well, because they go through the recruitment. So here's where it falls apart for me.

The plot. They recruit all of the suicide squad. Then, at the same time as they're recruiting them, evil moon lady and her brother are fucking up the city. And they're like, this is your first mission. But they don't tell them what the mission is. And they have to go into the city whilst this is happening, and rescue someone. They get there, they rescue Amanda Wall waller who is for some reason in the city she's never explained no i don't know

why she is and i don't know if it was a test yeah you're right it ends up being it's like a it's a recruitment then a rescue mission and it's kind of like and then it's like they try and rescue her they do harley leaves No they rescue her No she gets kidnapped Yeah Harley goes to They're like fuck What this should have been Was like Harley should have been the main fucking character

The whole focus should have been on her I reckon this Her arc should have been fucking going from Being so obsessed with the Joker Realising it was such a bad relationship And at the very end where he tries to break her out again Her being like nah I'm staying here That should have been a fucking rock.

Or if they were like, let's continue it and like, oh, this is the character of Harley Quinn. He's like, she's discovered it. Then he's like, let's go. And she's like, okay. And they leave together and you're like, ah. And then they can explore later on. This film, if I was pitching it, maybe maintenance, making an appearance, I would do Escape from New York. Oh, that's good.

So they go in to sort out a real minor thing. Coincidentally, when the Suicide Squad are in the middle, fucking shit goes down in Gotham. You got the Penguin doing shit. How did Enchantress turn on them halfway through the mission? Yeah, because then you're like, they've got to get out. That's what I thought this film was going to be. But then later on, it turns out that the whole mission was about Enchantress.

Yeah, you're right. It should have been. They're doing something. They all come together with Enchantress. Enchantress then flips the switch. Have them all go fight her brother and then them the switch. Just flips and then is like fuck you. Have them all go fight her brother and then them to be fighting her brother and her be like, oh, it's my fucking brother. Because if you want to film this like cameo full and like, oh, my God, we're setting up a universe. How good to have the Suicide Squad. They're starting one side of the city.

They're like, we need to get out of the city. You know, and on the way we can solve some problems. And they're like, oh, they're passing the fucking, here's the Iceberg Lounge. Oh, Batman's about the same time. Fucking basically do like Ark oh, they're passing the fucking, here's the iceberg lounge. Batman's about the same time. Basically do like Arkham, like one of the Arkham games, like Arkham City, but with a suicide squad instead of a Batman. That just reminds me, I need to put this out there before the movie gets made.

If the Batman film, like Batman, the Batman solo film, just make it Dread or The Raid, but with Batman. Yes, please. That would be so good. That would be amazing. I just wanted that on record. Because that is ideal. I know they've talked about the fact that it would be in Arkham or something. That would be sick. Just have him beat in shit.

Have him real tired by the end of it. Just trying to fucking fight everyone to get out. Yeah, nothing left of Leto. Basically do Nightfall. Basically do Nightfall. John Wick, but Batman. Yeah. I'm back. Nothing left of Leto. Basically do Nightfall. Basically do Nightfall. John Wick, but Batman. Yeah. Yeah. I'm back. So, okay, let's go through characters.

This is very much was meant to be a character-driven piece, but it didn't feel like that. There was way too many of them. Sorry, again, just one last thing. Okay, that's okay. I've tried bread brains. No, no, no. I know.

I've seen you struggle, but Dusha gets ideas in his little noggin. No, it's because... Caffeine. Yeah, also 4am. Also, their mission in that was just to save Amanda. Correct. They weren't going to fight Enchantress. But she was in the room watching the mission.

Who was going to fight Enchantress then? No, no. They weren't meant to rescue her. No, they were meant to rescue Amanda. She was the person they were meant to rescue. Are you an idiot? Then they go and fight Enchantress. No, I'm not an idiot, thank you for asking.

She was in a room watching them. No, it was a twofer. Yeah. That's why they were there. They were like, who are we meant to catch? They're like, oh, it's a special somebody. It's like L416 or whatever the fucking word was. And then it turned out to be Amanda Waller.

They sent her in to get the heart, the, what's it called? Alien people. No. No. Amanda Waller. At the very, very start where it's got like the whole, where he's putting the iPad to them. This is your mission, no. Amanda Vela is... At the very, very start where it's got like the whole... Where he's putting the iPad to them. This is your mission, boss.

And they're like, you're going into the city and you're meant to rescuing Al for blah, blah, blah. That's Amanda Vela. While you're also there, after she's rescued because she's meant to get rescued and shut off, then they're meant to fight Enchantress, I think. They go to fight Enchantress because Amanda Vela is... Is that what happened?

Oh, you're right too. They're always going to let the city burn. They're going to let the city burn. They're always going to evacuate mid-city. Which is the kind of thing where if you were the government you'd be like, so your first outing, okay, let's do a little review. First outing with the Suicide Squad. They got you.

That's super good, but I thought they were there to deal with problems like this. Also, we're Nancy and David and Rupert, you know, the agents that were on the computers next to you. No, they weren't on a need-to-know basis. I shot him as a joke. To prove to Will Smith that I am also

a bad bloke. Will Smith was... No, because yeah, they only go to fight enchantress because Amanda Waller gets kicked by her. Oh good, I hate it even more now. Anyway, going through each character, because I think we haven't it even more now. Anyway, characters, let's go.

Going through each character, because I think we haven't mentioned Killer Croc a lot, and I feel like he was bad, and we need to emphasise this as well. We need to talk about how Killer Croc felt racist. Was his head just way too big for his body? Why was he sometimes seven foot tall and sometimes a normal size of a man? Why did he talk like a southern racist cartoon?

Why did he sometimes just didn't move his lips when he was talking? Was he a monster? Why was he sympathetic? He gets a TV at the end and he was a cannibal. Why did he sometimes have quips? Why is the monster cannibal doing quips for me? Why is he in the film?

Pardon? You know what? Just cut him out. Get rid of him. He didn't do anything. You can also cut Captain Boomerang. You can also cut Captain Boomerang. Give me a Captain Boomerang solo film. All he did was get Slipknot fucking killed after being on screen for four seconds. Also, it makes no sense to kill Slipknot and not Captain Boomerang in that scene. Yeah, that was an odd point.

I was like, oh, they're both gonna die, but no. Captain Boomerang stayed around because they were like, he's the comic... Well, maybe he's not the comic. Maybe Will Smith is the comic. I think Margot Robbie's the comic relief. I was going to say, Captain Boomerang is literally comic relief. That's his purpose. He does nothing else.

He's functional. He's functionless because his role is also taken by everyone else, except for Mimikatana, who's not comic relief. But she talks to a sword, which is pretty funny. I love that they're just like, oh, check. This is also happening. Don't stress about itana Who's not comic relief But she talks to a sword Which is pretty funny I love that they're just like Oh check This is also happening Don't stress about it

Because it's not relevant But Katana's There's biz going on Oh yeah that Oh yeah Her sword is full of souls First question Sorry there's souls now?

Excuse me? That's real interesting Like I said at the start This movie's just like Show don't tell-itis It's like She sits there with her sword And she's talking into it

And fucking Whatever his name is Flag is like yeah It's full of souls Is no a sword and she's talking into it and fucking whatever his name is, Flagg is like, yeah, it's full of souls. Is no one like, I didn't ask. Was Katana a bad guy? No, no, no, Katana was Flagg's mate. Yeah, that's what I assumed she was, Flagg's mate. Just his mate, I guess.

Who was there to sort of protect Flagg or whatever. But then she kind of also goes to the bar and has a bit of. Well, I think she's just like, it's rough to be a Katana. No, she cracks the shits because Rick Flagg also betrayed her by not telling her the truth about the mission. Also, how quick can Deadshot read a book? Oh, I know. Oh, fuck, yes. Let's talk about that scene.

Shit. Holy shit. That was ridiculous. Because he's like finds the notebook in the helicopter. A second later throws it out of the car. It wasn't quite a notebook, but more of a massive fucking folder. Massive folder. A Wikipedia binder thing. He throws it out of the car.

Then later on, Flag is like, did you read about me and Enchantress being lovers? He's like, I did. No, you didn't. You liar. You just didn't. You couldn't have. In that folder, why was there just a picture of the two lovers? Yeah, why is there a picture of them kissing?

Is that so when you're like, oh, Rick Flag and Enchantress lovers, you can pull out that photo and be like, it checks out. And why did Rick Flag have that? It would make sense for Amanda Waller to have it. She did, it was in the helicopter with her. It was in a briefcase. You know what? Look, that's on me.

Why did she have it? Yeah. And why did Will Smith get annoyed at Rick Flag being like, you had those letters the whole time? He was like, yeah, but you gave them to you I don't know why Rick Flagg had those letters On him in a mission I don't know why Rick Flagg had the letters

The prison was keeping from Will Smith And Will Smith is like you've been keeping the letters from me Shouldn't Flagg have been like no the prison I've had nothing to do with it Yeah he was not involved in that at all If anything it would have made sense Also Killer Croc again He doesn't have a tail But he swam like he had a tail that's a good

point he should have had a tail i like that the only thing they're like evolution took a step backwards you're like yeah that's what it goes a crocodile man there's a missing limb link ape crocodile man sure so yeah so uh uh who else was there? Diablo. Also, another thing with Diablo, with his lovely lady who was like, got real shitty with him because he had like,

guns and money and shit. You married, I assume married, did you say wife or girlfriend? I think wife. Let's just say married. You married someone and had kids with a man

who had a tattooed skull on his face and you are surprised he is in a gang? Yeah. And he's like, no one said no to me. He brought his money home. But she did. And then she has is in a gang yeah like and he's like no one said no to me money home but she did and then she has guns and like robbed the bands and she's like

get out of my house and he's like i'll set you all on fire i don't give a shit like i just i don't believe i felt weird that dad shark kept calling him hasay like as yeah that felt weird to anyone else it did it did feel weird yeah like forced and, again, strangely racist. Also, something that I felt about this film, was there like a lot of military porn or is it just me? Was there like a lot of shots of soldiers being brave soldiers? When there was that moment in slow motion as they're shooting and those bullets are just like hitting them. But that's so strange because this felt like sometimes

it slipped into like a war movie. Like in a film where it's about the Suicide Squad and it's called Suicide Squad, I felt like there were more shots of the military, the fucking agents working together. I can tell you why that happened. Please do. David Err directed both Fury and Training Day.

Those are his big films. So he's like I'll chuck in soldiers and they're like How do you fall so high from Fury? I haven't seen Fury. It's quite a good film. Shia LaBeouf's in it. I love that guy. Who else was in it? The Beef. The Beef. The Beef.

I think Amanda Waller was really good. Yeah, she was to a point, I think you're right, where she picks up her guns and kind of does this sort of... Actually, what was kind of cool about Amanda Waller was that she seemed to have everybody under her thumb and she was kind of tough as nails without having to be violent. You just got this sense of power. Yeah, she would talk away through everything.

She was powerful. And then she just starts shooting people and you're like, I guess not. You lost me. And then she can talk away through everything. She was powerful, and then she just starts shooting people, and you're like, I guess not. You lost me. And then she kind of, in the end, she survives just based on, you're just kind of supposed to,

as an audience, be like, yeah, of course, she's tough. They didn't get her. Harley? Again, the triple shits in my mouth.

The hat trick of mouth shits. One, two, and three. Three number twos. Three twos. Margot Robbie, a gem, but... Some of the dialogue was just terrible. Atrocious. Like, oh, my God.

Oh, the voices are telling me to kill everyone. That, as a gag, is so long. That is, like, just based on, like, pure comedy specs alone, a gag should not have to go that many miles To get to its punchline You know what I mean? No, that's not what they were saying Forced

And also, what I thought was going to happen When she smashes the thing It's like, ah, we're bad guys, that's what we do And then there's that moment where Rick Flagg should have blown up her head Is Deadshot looking at the window And there's a girl's outfit I wish he'd just smash it

and grab the girl's jacket because that would be funny and on point. Yeah, I guess he gets it. Or if she'd be like, we're bad guys and he's like, yeah, but you don't need to. It's not important. Just address it. And it does that thing that I hate when movies do when they call attention to their own premise. Stop it. I know what the movie's

about. Otherwise I wouldn't have come and seen it. I don't need to be watching Bridget Jones' baby and for her to be like gee I'm middle aged what was that I know be like what happened to your kid

he killed him own it own it you killed your kid sorry what hang on this is hang on

he just told me and I hate that we're bad guys but bad guys still don't kill women and children except Slipknot who punched a woman but he's dead now so don't worry about it.

But like it's just it had that kind of like annoying thing where you're like you're presenting these characters as morally conflicted but clearly they're not because they still eschew all of the things that like a basic action hero in a movie eschews. You assume that Arnie will kill all the dudes but not the kids and ladies. Yeah but this kind of brings because in the DC world I mean I'm sure there are evil women in that world. Harley Quinn. Harley Quinn. Shoot Harley Quinn.

Yeah. She kills people. Also, hang on. And that's why it's so weird why Deadshot doesn't shoot her in the head. Hang on. Deadshot at one point says, oh, no, it's Captain Boomerang. Never mind. Someone threatens to beat the shit out of Harley, and I thought it was Deadshot.

But no, I think it's Captain Boomerang. No, it is Deadshot. Yeah. Someone's like, I will beat you. I don't care that you're a woman But no, I think it's Captain Boomerang. No, it is Deadshot. Yeah. Someone's like, I will beat you. I don't care that you're a woman. But then later on he's like, I don't care. No, it is Deadshot. Maybe it was Captain Boomerang.

No, it's one of the cunts. Who cares? Some cunt in some fucking cunt film fucking says a cunt thing. It's been Captain Boomerang. I loved his mutton chops. Oh, yeah. Good face hair. His outfit was great.

It was just like everyone else was chucking on armor. He's like, whatever. Fucking beanie. I don't give a shit. It did cover up Jai Courtney's face a lot. Nah, I appreciated that. For an Australian actor, he had an atrocious Australian accent. That's Australian?

Fuck off. Who showed Jai Courtney's Australian? He did not sound Australian. He sounded like he'd seen an Australian on the TV once. I might be confusing him with another plain-faced idiot. I would hope not. That must have felt real weird for Margot Robbie, who is Australian. Yeah.

When she's like, what are you doing? That's all right, because she was fucking... Her accent was garbage, too. Hey, we're all having a good time. Jack Hortney, born March 15, 1986, in Sydney, Australia. There you go. He was raised in Sydney. Bad job.

Shattered. You know what? That explains a lot. Melbourne represent. Who else did we sort of mention? Who else the fuck was there? Kitano, what? I don't know.

Were they setting that up for a Kitano movie? I don't know. No. Just they were just... Yeah, why didn't she get like... Why did some people get the the the title sequence and some people didn't well i thought it was funny that it was like clearly if you like the film was setting it up so that we would have assumed that margot robbie and will smith were like the main characters

yeah yeah because they kind of were because like they would be like flashback of will smith will smith's introduction music with will smith flashback of holly quinn you know but it was margot you know, and then it would be like boomerang, one shot. You know, fucking the other cons, one shot. You know, so why was it not like evenly spaced out? Why have any of it? And also El Diablo is not a character until towards the end of the film when they give him a lot of character development very quickly. Real quick.

Yeah. You know, it was like, and like, again, like you said, it was going to get compared to Guardians of the Galaxy, so let's. Guardians of the Galaxy has just as varied cast of characters. A little less, but like, still, there's a lot of characters. Who's a better Groot? Groot or Killer Croc?

Killer Croc? That guy gets a TV. And he eats people. Groot gets fucking made little. Groot doesn't get a TV, and he never ate a person. That's true. But like we're introduced to Rocket and Groot and they're like shooting up, they're taking photos and you're like these are shifty boys. Then they are in prison and you're like shifty boys in prison. Sick. Then there's Drax the Destroyer and you're like tough lad. Sick. Tough lad doesn't get things. Bloody Gamora, tough lady. I'm in. And then just through circumstance they end up together

and sort it out. But you learn those characters see their interactions with other characters not to worry about flashback like everything's flashbacks also it's gonna be really really really really funny because with how the DCEU handles this because after Man of Steel they're like don't worry we'll just put Batman in the next Superman movie. Bloody sort that shit out. Then after that they're like don't worry that was bullshit and real sad and no one had a smile on their face. We'll make Suicide Squad real funny. Suicide Squad.

Good film. Again if Joker is so obsessed with Harley why did he just drive into a lake when she said I can't swim and she didn't have a seatbelt on which probably should have killed her. Because he's lol random. And then Batman goes there to see what's going on.

Joker's gone. And Harley tries to stab him with some glass. And that was good. I like what Harley was doing, but where was Joker? Also, why in this universe a helicopter crash is, like, kind of just scraping your knee? Yeah, like, no, everybody just rolls out and they're like, anyway, that's how you land a helicopter. Like, is that it? And all the way we get to the ground.

Class dismissed. Like, there was a pretty big crash with one of the helicopters. Yeah. It falls and then just rolls. At least four or five stories. Not just once, but, like, it rolls for a good couple miles. And look, okay, so let's talk about this. So with Guardians of the Galaxy, when there's fight scenes happening,

I know that these are all competent fighters. And I can see the things that they all bring. Rocket Raccoon, he's got big guns on his Wii. He's zippy. Gamora, you know, she's like an entrained assassin. See? Wow, cool, I'm there. Suicide Squad, Harley Quinn's a good character.

But like, so Will Smith's like, I'm bringing all my guns and my impeccable shot. I'm there. Suicide Squad, Harley Quinn's a good character. But, like, so Will Smith's like, I'm bringing all my guns and my impeccable shot. I'm almost superhuman. El Diablo's like, I make fire. Harley Quinn's like, big hammer, one gun. And just holds her own, I guess, just because... Yeah. Also, there's, like, the minion lands that they were killing.

Some were, like, finding it very hard to, you know, you take and shoot them in the head, they don't die. But, like, Harley smacks a couple with a take and shoot them in the head they don't die but like Harley smacks a couple with a hammer and like yep they got them good. Yeah.

You're like Katana she's got a katana sick I get that. You know sorceress she does sorcery. The least competent person in that is Boomerang by far.

He does nothing. So I'll say Boomerang and Harley I would say on the same par. No. Because Harley does like gymnastic shit

and beats the shit out of you. And she does have like an acme goop. That's true. That scene was Wait acme goop. That's true. That scene was... Wait, acme goop? When she jumps into the goop. Oh, she's got vat powers.

Yeah. That vat scene I hated. That vat scene was like... I fucking hated that. It was like a porno. Yeah. That's alright. And the only vats, Harley never gets thrown in the vat in the comics.

And when Joker's like, I'm going to put you in a vat and make you crazy, she's like, no, no, no, what the fuck? That's not why I'm like... You've misunderstood me, Joker. And that's a real good scene. In this, he's like, fall in the vat in the comics. And when Joker's like, I'm going to put you in a vat and make you crazy, she's like, no, no, no, what the fuck? That's not why I'm, like, you've misunderstood me, Joker. And that's a real good scene. In this, he's like, fall in the vat. Sick, the vat made you a Harley Quinn. Thumbs up. Oh, you already saw the Harley Quinn.

I don't know, it made your hair white. Bye. Anyway, no, that's good because, like, I already fucking zapped. Zapped your brain. I hated his teeth. I ain't going to kill you. I'm just going to hurt you real, real bad. Yeah.

I hated everything about you You should've been the Joker That's a good line Do a Joker laugh Oh fuck I'm there I'm Batman I'ma beat the shit out of you

The amount of fucking Bullshit press That Jared Leto went on And being like I fucking emerged myself I fucking did all this bullshit I'm doing something That fucking

No one's ever done With this fucking character For dark and gritty It's fucking emerged myself. I fucking did all this bullshit. I'm doing something that fucking no one's ever done with this fucking character before. Oh, it's dark and gritty. It was the worst piece of shit performance that I've ever fucking seen. Jared Leto did a better performance in Alexander when he was looking at fucking God in Bruges, mate, when he was just like, I fucking him across

the goddamn fucking scene. And that was a much better fucking performance. And that was dog shit. This is fucking terrible. And he's like, no, it's the best fucking thing ever done. And it was fucking, I fucking hate it. I'm getting angry again, Simon. Next time I take a shit, before I wipe, I'm going to look at the toilet and be like, oh, it's the Joker.

That's Jared Leto's Joker, neat. It was a really bad Joker. At least, like, Cesar Romero Did something New with it He had a mustache He didn't refuse to shave At least Fucking Jack Nicholson

Added his own element to it Jared Leto Oh I remember You were Jared Leto Notorious sex pest And that was very evident In this fucking film What about the scene

That could have been any villain That it was not the joke If you had looked at the joke And was like Oh yeah yeah Overly sexual rapist That's what I'm gonna play You know what film. What about the scene? If you had looked at the joke and was like, oh yeah, yeah, overly sexual rapist, that's what I'm gonna play. You know what? You piece of fucking trash, yeah? Colour his hair

purple instead of green and just draw a line on his face and he could have just been Two-Face and played it exactly the same. Yeah, but you know what? And he probably would have. I'm gonna stick with they could have just called him Greg. It was one of the worst. Like, there's a scene.

Like, it's such a confusing scene. It was one of the most hyped up fucking character and the worst piece. Yes. It's like a confusing scene. And it's like, hey, here's Harley Quinn's backstory. Where they're at the club. Harley Quinn is a stripper. Sick.

Okay. That's a new addition. What the fuck was happening then? Why not? Hey, you like my girlfriend? She'll do a dance. I'm going to kill you. She'll fuck you. And he's like, no, that's your girl.

And he's like, oh, okay. And like you're saying, Jad Lita, who is like, yeah, yeah. Like in an interview, he was like, if the Joker was here, he'd make you eat your own testicles. Hey, just shoots the lad. Yeah. You're like, so. Oh, you didn't like, you didn't want to put your dick in my woman bang in the head. What?

And like, look, if you want to make, if you want to play the Joker like a gangster, like a, like a 1920s gangster, which kind of, of he sometimes sometimes he was like a modern gangster sometimes like a pastimes gangster that's all right like i reckon you can get away with that now he's like a fucking big dick swinging gang yeah yeah but like i've gone in one hand cocking the other you could do it well but geraldito just and it's like it's not even like like i don't care about the overhyped performance whatever i'm too tired i mean but too I'm awake as, I'm not It was just understated to the point where he might as well have been asleep

You know what I mean? He laughed a bit I wish they cast Will Smith as the Joker also Yeah I wish instead of the Joker it would have been the Riddler in all the same places Harley Quinn loves the Riddler

Riddler's on the plane, he Quinn loves the riddle riddlers on the plane is like come on that'd be all right well like it's it's fucked now because you're like Lex Luthor is like more a better Joker than the Joker oh actually yeah that's a shame to that is the Joker basically he's basically the Joker in Batman v Superman. Yeah, if you have the Joker, like, a good rendition of a Joker shoving Jolly Ranchers in an old man's face. Oh, my God.

That's classic Joker. That's classic Joker. Him being, like, tied up and, like, and just feeding him Jolly Ranchers. Yeah, that's something a Joker could do. A good Joker is a bit funny. Like, that's a good Joker. Because you kind of got to be like,

oh, I'm a little bit on his side. Yeah. Like, that's with Heath Ledger. Like, he's a bad person, but you're kind of got to be like, I'm a little bit on his side. Yeah. Like, that's with Heath Ledger. Like, he's a bad person, but you're kind of like, he's got, like, charisma. Yeah. Jared Leto has no charisma. Jack Nicholson has charisma. Jared Leto can have charisma, just not in this film.

Can he? No, I said Jack Nicholson. No, I said Jared Leto can. Yeah, yeah, but in this film, I don't know. I don't even know who Jared Leto is. He's a bloke. Sometimes he plays a character called Greg. I'm like, Quinn, it's me, Greg.

Come back. Greg, put it. It felt like they were so disjointed. It felt like you were trying to ramp things up and then slow things down and force a third act and all this kind of bullshit. Because you're right. They didn't need, they didn't get sent in for the enchantress.

And why were you sending people into a military zone or a, basically a mission and you just refused to give them information when they clearly were going to come face to face with things that they were going to be like, what? They pretty much went about making the Suicide Squad in the worst possible way. Like, the actual worst. Don't tell them what their job is. Inject them with bombs. Don't tell them there are bombs until it's too late.

Tell them that they're going to be fighting something. Bring them into the city. Like, this is the thing. If they had been like, this is what you're doing. You're going in there and you're going to kill these lads. And they'd be like, no, we're not. Well, you have to or else we're going to blow your head off. And then fucking Skyhook, whatever his fucking name was, could be like, I'm not doing

that. And they can blow his head off. And he'd be like, well, I guess we are doing that. Fucking the same bullshit. And it's just why did you make that conscious effort to keep them in the dark when you didn't need to? Because that didn't change anything. Because you could still have had that whole scene of

Deadshot shooting a bunch of lads being like a sick cunt. And also this whole thing being like, man, there was a $3,000 watch on one of these lads. Are these people? Let's just ignore that. Yeah, he's like, I guess they are. I just wanted to double check.

But the whole idea was that it was all in the interest of national security. And you've let a bunch of psychotic criminals into top secret facilities. I hope we don't get a secret facilities made them privy to top secret information and now you've compromised the very thing that you set out to protect I hope that there's not another Suicide Squad movie because the government's just like no we shut it down Bad idea Amanda we'll try again

I hope President Clinton's just like Amanda no fucking way That's fucked. What did you do? Well it seems like they're setting this up for a JLAV suicide squad crossover Yeah I will genuinely not survive that I think I'll transcend I think I'm watching that film

My bones will leave my body And I'll be a skeleton for the rest of my life That would be like Man that would be like Jangle jangle jangle jangle Poor Jackson gotta tell his family. You're a skeleton now, Jack. I honestly think this is where it's going.

I think because we've never had a supervillain team come together or whatever, and they're like, that's something Marvel hasn't done. And so they've done their evil JLA before they've done their JLA. And so now Batman's going to be like, shut it down or else my mates will do that. The films just would not go together. But that's the beauty.

That's the goodness of it. And that's what they seem to be pushing. And that's amazing. What they're going to do is Harley Quinn will be the only character in this that appears again and she'll be the bad guy. She'll just be assisting the Jericho. You reckon? Nah, on that sense. You've got to think about the way

you've got to think about the fucking way ever again. DC makes their movies, okay? Wrong. Well, yeah, but okay, so they bring out Man of Steel or poor response. People are like, oh, it was weird. I didn't really get it. They're like, okay, chuck Batman in. People are like, Batman was the best part weird i didn't really get they're like okay check batman in okay people like batman was the best part of batman versus hitman so they're like okay justice

league is basically all about batman right so we just focus on batman and then this comes out and if everybody's like will smith and margot robbie best part of this film they'll be like okay so let's mix the next film is gonna be bat Batman, Will Smith, Mugger Robbie. What else do people like? They love the Flash outfit. And they're all wearing Flash outfits. Are you happy now? Do you love us?

They're basically like this person who's in love with us, and they just don't know how to get our affection. And one day they made a joke that we were like, oh, that's kind of funny, and they just won't stop telling that joke. You know? Suicide Squad is just Guardians like, oh, that's kind of funny. And they just won't stop telling that joke. You know? Suicide Squad is just Guardians of the Galaxy, but worse. No, not really. That's generous.

Because Guardians of the Galaxy is like... Suicide Squad is a film I saw. They're all bad blokes as well. Yeah, but that's like the... No. No. Basic. I disagree entirely with you, mate.

They're all bad blokes. You know what it is? A lot of scenes got filmed. They gave it to, like, a year 12 doing media studies. And we're like, fucking splice this together, please. No. They're not all bad blokes you know what it is a lot of scenes got filmed they gave it to like a year 12 doing media studies and were like fucking splice this together please

they're not all bad blokes name one cannibal on the fucking Star Lord ship Drax he eats constantly Groot's not a bad bloke that's just about like

people who are like ragamuffins getting together they're like morally grey they are morally grey there is no grey in this They're like morally grey. They are morally grey. There is no grey in this film. Even like Diablo.

But they tried to make us think there was grey. And there was none. They tried to make everyone grey. And then when you have fucking Margot Robbie being like, own your badness. You killed a kid. Sick. That's great.

Kids deserve to die. But she looked... I'm wholly queer. She looked disgusted. Yeah, but then she was... She looked disgusted by it. It's like, wait... No, no, she was... I'm holy crap. She looked disgusted. Yeah, but then she was... She looked disgusted by it. It's like, wait... No, no, she was...

She did look disgusted, though. As disgusted that he wouldn't say that. The weird thing was, he killed his family, and they were all passing judgment on him. He was the fucking crazy one. Yeah, and it seemed to me that Harley was judging him for not owning the fact that he killed his kids. That's what it felt like.

For me to see just seemed confused. People would tease in their eyes and stuff, and it was just like, wait a minute. It was just very, it was odd. It was not good. I didn't like it. A hot one out of ten. Fuck this film.

Don't see it, please. Wait, torrent it. They deserve it. I'm giving it a three out of ten, and that's for all the people that put effort into making the film If I had insurance between watching this film Or having every shit I took this year Shoot back up my arsehole

I'm going with the second option I just can't wait to see The tangled mess that the D.C. E.A.U Whatever, the D, the DC European Union ends up with at the end. Can I vote to leave? Because fuck that.

The Zamit exit. Because, let's think about it. Suicide squicks it. Think about it. So they changed Suicide Squad because of the bad reaction to Batman v Superman. But a very positive reaction to Deadpool. So they're going to have to change Wonder Woman because of the negative response

to this? No, but Wonder Woman they probably won't change because it's been such a positive No, they'll be stressed. You've got to remember how stressed they were about Batman.

What the fuck? Everyone on the board are spooked horses, mate. You know what? Everyone in the boardroom just needs to think okay, whatever our initial instinct is whatever we think we should do

let's do the opposite. Everyone in that boardroom must be so sweaty all the time. But just imagine like, they're gonna panic, so they're gonna change Wonder Woman, make Wonder Woman garbage. Panic, because of all of the rest of that fucking, like, landslide behind them, and then they're gonna make

Justice League, the Justice League movie is gonna be fucking amazing. It is gonna be like... It's gonna change cinema forever. It's gonna be like Batfleck just waggling his dick In front of a camera And Wonder Woman punching his ball sack Gal Gadot

Fucking boxing away Harley Quinn and Will Smith Just standing to the side being like yeah good And then it'll just flash colours And give everyone a seizure Justice League For an hour and a half And then we'll have Justice League 2

the suicide squad and that's going to be great I'm excited I'm excited to have this journey with you guys the DCEU is not in a good way the DCEU is in trouble look if I was DC I'd probably sell all my stocks because I didn't nominate Kevin Rudd

stand outside buy outside of my building oh yeah so last segment which we usually cover nominate Kevin Rudd. Stand outside by outside of my building. Oh yeah, so last segment which we usually cover at the start and sometimes the end. Things we correctly predicted.

Too much. Everything. You shouldn't have. So I said the film starts at the boardroom. It doesn't quiet. It starts with... It should have

because the two scenes that it starts with you could have cut because they made no fucking point and you reintroduced them anyway in the boardroom scene, which was in a cafe?

A restaurant. They were just having a chill, I guess. It's like you see Amanda Wall be like, hey, blokes, here's the idea. And they're like, hmm, we need to escalate this. Did this film have any establishing shots?

Nope. What the fuck? It didn't. That's why we don't know where they were having breakfast or the meeting, because it's just like, we're in immediately. Where were they? I don't know where the prison was. Oh, wait, Mid-City, I think, had one or two. Did it?

It had shots in the city, but it never was like, here's the city. We got one shot of Bellevue, but we also went to several different prisons. Did we? Actually, were all those people kept in Arkham? No, some were in Arkham, some were in Bellevue. They were kept in the swamp. Yeah, but some weren't. In Louisiana.

Because Captain Boomerang arrived in a bag. Oh, yeah. And then he punched a bloke out. That was great. That was... Captain Boomerang ruled. No, that was my favourite scene. We just fucking...

Yeah. He just comes out and is like, fuck you. Yeah, right. I'll rest in my... I did not like Captain Boomerang. He was great. was captain boomerang ruled no that was my favorite scene we just fucking yeah yeah all right i'll i'll rest in my i did not like captain boomer he was great he was all right he just was there to punch it and have a good time i

think that was i think they didn't quite give him enough to work with they gave him not quite enough but if he'd had a little bit more he could have been amazing yeah solo captain

boomerang film or if he's the villain of the flash film tell me you don't want that because he's flash it's Flash's villain normally we got the Flash right which is great because

we also sort of didn't get the Flash right I was like Flash point but it wasn't it was just Flash which is a bit of a shame Captain Boomerang is one of the Flash's

villains because like he throws the Boomerang and the Flash misses it then the Boomerang comes back and hits him as the Flash is like gotcha oh boof nah

oh oh yeah actually I just realized. Fucking Captain, like, it flashes, oh, I guess there's no honor amongst thieves. And then later in the film, they talk. Oh, that's good shelving. We also correctly predicted that the Joker was in it for 30 seconds. Yeah, but we got his location in the wrong.

I can't, can someone tweet me? I can't remember and I don't want to listen back to it. I just want to know who I owe steak dinners to, basically. Yeah. Look, it's nearly 5 a wrong way. I can't remember. Can someone tweet me? I can't remember and I don't want to listen back to it. I just want to know who I owe steak dinners to, basically. Yeah. Look, it's nearly 5am. I'm getting to that point where I'm tired

when I kind of want to vomit. I really need to shit. Yeah, same. So I'm real tired. I think it's the cheeseburger pie I had on the ride home. I'm glad that's in the recording. I need to go to sleep

so that my body can start repairing from the fucking trauma that it just inflicted. So, if anyone can tweet us in who owes who a steak dinner, that'd be nice. Yeah, work it out, please, guys.

At Setspans Radio. This was painful. I need some iron. I'm tired. Hashtag let me die, nah, but for real. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. And I've been Aaron.

Don't go see Suicide Squad. Suicide Squad? If you're like, what am I going to see tonight? Should I look at my reflection in a river For two hours Or Suicide Squad Choose the river It's real good and pretty

And you may see a fish There are no fishes in Suicide Squad It's bad Just a crocodile Wait a couple weeks and watch Bridger Jones' baby No Absolutely fabulous open dinner On the same day as Suicide Squad

Don't watch that We should have watched that Jon Hamm is in it That's a classic those two gals they have a riot and also Patsy maybe

kills Kate Winslet in it that's the plot of the film that's real good that sounds a million times

better than Suicide Squad why didn't we go to the midnight screening of that because we're idiots

trust me if there was a midnight screening for something stupid you boys would be the first to know. I hate you. Goodbye.

It's, it's the Borough Blitz. It's, it's the Borough Blitz. It's, it's the Borough Blitz. Yeah! It's the Borough Blitz. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com.