Plumbing the Death Star - What Did We Think of The Rise of Skywalker?

Episode Date: December 20, 2019

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SANS Pants Radio, Australia's most biased podcast network. Hey everybody and welcome to a very special edition of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, what did we think of Rise of Skywalker? Was it good? All right. Boys, shut up for a second. Sorry, we don't do this show normally. Yeah, so as you will have already realized, the voices in this room are not myself, Zammett, and Jackson,

because Zammett is overseas, and Jackson couldn't make it to the cinema. So instead, I'm joined by- He doesn't even know what one is. He doesn't know what one is. I'm joined by Tom Reed and Sean Carney, formerly of Movie Maintenance, currently of How Good's Footy,

and we also do Eye Cramps, a movie review show, exclusive to Sandspence Plus. But Rise of Skywalker's fucking big, so I let you on Plumbing the Death Star. Whoa. Yeah. Do you feel special? Nah, I feel tired.

Yeah. Hey, at least not a midnight screening. Yeah, no. Like this knucklehead. Yeah, we were clever. Tom and I were like, nah, we're old. We're getting old. We need to just, you know, do it regular hours.

Me? I was like, fuck that. Went to the 1201 screening. My eyeballs hurt by the end of it. So. Yes. Star Wars. Yes. The Skywalker Saga. Yes. Star Wars. Yes.

The Skywalker saga. Yes. Rise of the Skywalker. Episode nine. Not Rise of the Skywalker. Rise of Skywalker. Thank you. I apologize.

Nice and vague. I apologize to you and the listeners for my incorrect statements. Look, just. It's out. Apologize to George Lucas. George Lucas. I apologize. He accepts it.

He doesn't care. He doesn't give a fuck. He's rich as fuck. He accepts it. He doesn't care. He doesn't give a fuck. He's rich as fuck. He's rolling around in money. So. Yes. It's out. It's done.

We've seen it. Yes. Which is fucked in itself. Like, it's so weird. Before we even get to the film, it's fucked up that we have seen the last of the Skywalker saga, allegedly. Just give it 10 years. 10.

Disney love two things, Sean. Money and making money. Also, six months. Alright. Can't wait for Luke Skywalker to show up in The Mandalorian. Sorry. No, that's okay. I was going to say. Are we doing spoilers? Well, that's what I was about to say. I don't trust

Tom as fucking far as I'd throw him. You wouldn't throw me very far at all. Exactly. We haven't spoiled anything yet, but let's just say spoilers for here on out so that Tom can say whatever the fuck he wants to say. If you haven't seen it, know that we all thought it was fine to pretty good.

Pretty good, yeah. Stop listening if you haven't seen it. It's now. Spoilers from now. There is so many things in this film that makes it feel like Batman v Superman. True. In terms of ranking the new trilogy. It's the worst.

It's the worst. It's the second worst. What the fuck is the worst? Now you think it's Force Awakens. I probably. Fuck is the worst. Why do you think Force Awakens is the worst? I probably... Because when this one's going,

I think it goes harder and better than Force Awakens when Force Awakens is going. Counterpoint. Last Jedi is like over here though. Like Last Jedi is fucking... Oh my God. It is Last Jedi. Daylight.

Nighttime. Daylight again. Tom, is it because Last Jedi. Daylight. Nighttime. Daylight again. Tom, is it because Last Jedi has ideas? Yeah. Has something to say, perhaps? Yeah, themes. It challenges the audience. It's very important to note, you said two things there.

Made piss babies angry on the internet. Jesus Christ, Tom. Settle down. We're talking Rise of Rey Skywalker. We're talking about... How's she going to explain that? What the fuck? But she goes back. Settle down. We're talking Rise of Rey Skywalker. We're talking about. We're talking. How's she going to explain that? What the fuck? But she goes back.

I'm Rey Skywalker. Wait, what? So. Who's your dad? So. Pelpy buddy. No, that's not it. Well, no.

Her dad is Mr. Palpatine, but not that Mr. Palpatine. Not she, but whatever the fuck his name is. Also, you know what this movie, I know you want to say something, but I just have to say this before you say it. I've forgotten what I was going to say. You've been talking to me for four minutes at this point. This movie does exactly what Harry Potter and the Cursed Child does. It's where it's like,

this really powerful figure that's really evil and kind of sexless. He fucks. He has done some fuck here is his child do you know what would have been an easier thing hmm she's born yeah okay actually first of all rewind to the thing i was trying to get out for okay okay yeah go for it sean you said there's a uh the uh last last jedi has a lot of ideas and has something to say. And you said that this movie doesn't. I would say that this movie is nothing but ideas. It just has nothing to say. Okay, I can get behind that.

It is a backpedal in a film. It's also just, if you've seen Batman v Superman and you remember that just like every scene is just throwing everything at you, every single scene has like a new twist or reveal or fan service or something or a totally new plot development, but not advancing the plot that you've already got.

It's just like a shot off into a different distance. It's that. It is so much in one movie. It's fucked up. You boys saw this at the regular cinema? I saw it in a VMAX. Yeah, yeah. I saw it on an extreme screen.

So I was at IMAX. So think about your eyeballs and just some of the insanity that assaulted it. And then just imagine I copped it four rows back. Jesus, that's too close. On screen the size of the Eureka Skydeck, which is a big building in Melbourne. Skydeck's not a building. Eureka Tower is. Thank you very much.

Fuck you. Hey. If you're going to make local references, get them right. All right. Oh, man. I forgot why I don't come on shows with you. You're in every show with me except D&D. Yeah, it's true.

Anyway. Anyway. It's- I liked it. Parts of it. Okay. What do we want to talk about first? Because there are so many big things in this.

Things that I think we need to talk about. Do you want to talk about first? Because there are so many big things in this. Things that I think we need to talk about. Do you want to talk about things we liked first? Do you want to start off positive and then burn it to the ground? And then maybe rebuild it depending on how we're feeling. Hey. Tom. Yeah. Great idea.

Sounds good. So you probably have the most positive feelings about this based on your smile. Well, okay. I love the Ray Wren stuff is really good again. I thought that was some of the stuff. The stuff that I love the most in The Last Jedi was their kind of dichotomy, that relationship. They build on that again.

It's really great. I love that. Poe being a cheeky son of a bitch. Fucking love that. We'll get to Finn. He has some nice bits, but we'll get to him. However, there is a new MVP in the Star Wars universe, boys. And his name is Babu Frick.

He is the smallest motherfucker in the world. And he loves it. He loves it. He loves it more than C-3PO had his sassiness turned up to 1,000. That little goblin man came onto the screen and it was supposed to be this really dramatic, intense moment. I was like, I don't care that C-3PO could die because Babu Frick exists.

Baby Yoda, move over. Babu's here. Babu, for anyone, for some reason, if you're listening, you haven't seen it he's like six inches tall and just loves it just every scene he's got his arms in the air he's like he fucking loves it no man has ever loved it more than babu frick i think we're assuming babu frick's a man what i think but what isu Frick? No one has ever loved anything as much as Babu Frick loves it. Just the things, like when the little man is talking thing,

whatever Babu Frick is, as he pulls the plug off 3PO's head, he's like, Babu droid. What are you? And he's like, by the way, I have an idea. Oh, no, dead. And again, comedy, by the way, I have an idea. Oh, no, dead. And again, comedy,

really great. Some of the action, there was genuine laughs. There was some beats of genuine heart too. They weren't enough. Like the shit that I loved. I fucking loved just again, a lot of the heart comes from the Ray Wren stuff. Cause they're basically in the same position.

The heart there was really nice. I have to admit, I got a little bit like, fuck yeah, when everyone turned up at the end in space and they were like, there's more of us than there is of them. When the guy was like, on your left, I was like, oh. Oh, wait, it already fucking happened, Tom. Oh, no. Yeah, come on, mate.

As if you didn't sit there and think about that. I didn't. Sean, I'm an idiot. As if you didn't like the line of like, where did all this resistance come from? They're not the resistance. They're just people. That was pretty good.

And the way they win is make us think. We're a line. Yeah, it was nice. Yeah, nice. Where's Chantilly's? He's there for blink and you miss it. That was him. Nice shot, Lando.

Woo! You know what else I love? Lando. He's having such a good time. He's literally just very weirdly like give my love to Leia, which was too heavy. And then the other thing he does is just like shoot things and go. Hey, Sean.

What else do you want Billy Dee to do? Nothing. Shot. Also, so Babu Frick loves it. Lando, second place for love oh yeah fuck yeah also him give my later uh give my love to leia like comes off thick but then have you guys watched rewatch empire strikes back he wants to fuck her the whole time he's horny for leia even when they're friends in return of the jedi he's still a bit like He does the face that Poe does to Kerry Russell's character

That bit at the end when he's just like, we did it and then he's like, do we want to keep doing it? She's like, absolutely not She's great too, I liked her a lot Very small role Small role that maybe could have been given to one of the many

established supporting characters Well no, but There's another role that we can touch on that maybe could have been given to one of the many established supporting characters. Well, no, but- Maybe not. There's another role that we can touch on that maybe could have given to an established- She's the most underutilized character in the movie, isn't she? Carrie Rusk?

No. No, there's another one, but again- Did I miss another one? No, you did, but we're still talking about- We're going to come back to that? We're still happy. We're still happy. What else did I like?

Did you like Han Solo? I did actually. I didn't mind that, and I know you loved that actually i didn't mind that and i know you loved that i didn't mind it i liked the mirror yeah but i know why you think i love it but i don't love kylo ren so i kind of almost feel nothing in that scene i did like the mirroring though of the i know what i have to do yeah i don't want to do it you can touching the face and then the same thing in the lights over this time throwing it away I thought that was a nice touch. Wanted Adam Driver to punch a drywall and he didn't. Hey, there's another film where you can get plenty of that.

Oh, really? So speaking of things you like and heart and things like that, and it ends up being a little bit wonky because of Carrie Fisher's passing before this film even started filming. But the fact that Leia trains Ray is cool. And you learn that she has also trained as a Jedi too. Yeah. And it makes sense.

Like she, even in the original trilogy, she's always been like, yes, she is a Jedi as well. There's another. So it makes sense for Luke to die for Leia to be like, I've had some training.

I'm trained more than you. Let's do this. this even that that little throwaway bit where she's like thank you master and she calls her mom yeah that's nice and obviously if she had lived you would imagine her part would have been more i still think she her character would have died oh yeah because the master has to die and that means that in so we've got three films in the sequel trilogy, every single film, one of the original characters dies of the original trio. Yeah. Han, then Luke, then Leo.

Hmm. Yep. Yeah. I'll tell you what. Kill the past if you have to, or whatever. Burn it if you have to. Kill it if you have to.

Burn the past, burn it if you have to. Burn it to the ground if you have to. No, no, no. I think it is. Destroy the past, kill it if you have to. Yeah. to the ground if you have to. No, no, no. I think it is destroy the past, kill it if you have to.

Yeah. Yeah. The horse things were cool. Oh, there was, again, there's some really cool elements and bits that are like interesting. Sean, do you know what film the horse things were better in? Any film with horses? The Last Jedi where a very similar thing happens.

It's true. Star Wars never thing happens. It's true. Star Wars never repeats itself. It's like poetry. It rhymes. That's what George Lucas has said before. I'm pretty sure that's a direct quote. He's out of control. The middle one in every trilogy the villains win.

The middle one of every trilogy. And also technically Revenge of the Sith. Yeah. He, yeah, George Lucas didn't like The Force Awakens, but liked The Last Jedi. I imagine he'd hate this. Oh, absolutely. But he's too busy drowning in billions of dollars. Recreating the opening of Dark Towers with Scrooge McDuck.

He's up to his big neck in money. Oh, just poof. He's made a Jar Jar Binks just out of money. And his life size too. Is that good, Tom? You happy with that one? Yep. Okay, good.

Just checking. Because he's also, with the change, he's made a Sebulba. Which Sebulba was in this? I wish we learned that Ray's dad was Sebulba. Which Sebulba was in this? I wish we learned that Ray's dad was Sebulba. You're a Jedi. Your dad was the second best pod racer ever. We don't know where his dick was.

His dad should have been Watto. What did you remember? There was a theory that it should have been. Loves junk. Can't be Jedi mind tricked because there's the whole thing where Kylo Ren tries to do it to her. And yeah.

Jabba the Hutt also fits that. Yeah, Hutts can't be mind controlled. It's true. They're not weak-willed. No. They're like stormtroopers. Pieces of shit. Dog shit.

Oh, man. Who are those two? Is that the celebrity cameo under the mask there? The ones that she tricked? Absolutely. That would absolutely be people. I also think the very obvious female Stormtrooper voice will be someone too if we went digging through trivia.

If we cared to do that, someone will tell me at some point. Let's dedicate the next 20 minutes to just trying to guess who it is. We're still talking happy things. No, I'm ready to move on. No, no, you got some? I'm trying to think of if there's anything that we haven't mentioned that I liked. Babu Frick?

Yeah, he loves it. How much? Almost the most. The most. I really liked the way that they, I wasn't sure like sold on it straight away, but I quite liked the way that they advanced. The only fucking thing they took from The Last Jedi

was the communication between Rey and Kylo Ren using the force. Really liked how they just literally just took a step up from that and they addressed it in The Last Jedi. It was like, can you see my surroundings? Or can you just see me? Well, now, because the Force is stronger, they can see shit. They can take shit. That was really cool fucking happening.

They could never see where the other one was. It was only when they interacted with something that it was revealed. So it wasn't because he's like, I don't know where you are. Yeah. And then when she knocks the Vader helmet off, he's like, oh, you're in my fucking room. But it was a big step up because I think in Last Jedi it was like he had some rain on him or something, yeah? Yeah.

One of them got a little bit wet, but in this, yeah, it was pretty cool. Usually that stuff's really cool. And I do like that connection thing of like, and they come up with a dumb term for it, but I just like the idea that it's the balance of the force. You've got this evil and this light, or they're both evil and they're both light and they're connected. Love a good Mighty Ducks costume change too.

Like when you see Kylo Ren near the end, he's just wearing a sweater. Hey, because he's taken off his big boy armour. That's right. He's taken off his – he's like, I don't have to be so swole anymore. Doesn't wear black anymore. It's kind of greyish black. It's charcoal. It's a step up.

It's charcoal. He's a good boy now. He's reaching for the rainbow. I tell you what, I cannot wait for him and his knights to enter Eurovision for Sweden as a fucking punk metal band. Jesus Christ. What a bunch of edgelords. No survivors.

No, I know. I tell you what I did just on that great moment of her bringing the lightsaber behind her head and then him having it. I thought that was very cool. Also because it kind of shadowed the lightsaber behind her head and then him grabbing it. I thought that was very cool. And also because it kind of shadowed the fight they have where she drops the lightsaber down to him in that fight.

Again, there are some really nice moments. And I was entertained. And there was laughs. The genuine... Poe Finn stuff, when they're together and being stressed about stuff, is really good. and being like stressed about stuff is really good. The fact that Poe just like hates

everybody a little bit, big fan. First 40 minutes probably I was having a really good time. And then it just started to sort of sag under the weight of trying to be Star Wars. It was literally the point where for me there were literal moments that

the difference between this and I guess The Last Jedi is that there were moments where I was taken out of the film. The moments where I was fully immersed and I was like, oh yeah, yeah. And then something had happened, I go, oh, I'm watching a movie. One last thing, and this is a big thing, and this is something that I think people will disagree with me on. One thing that I think worked and I was happy with,

Kylo's redemption. I think the fact that he died and then was brought back to life that's enough for me. For him to be like, ooh, I really cooked that. Yeah, it worked. And also for him to not still be alive at the end. He's still done terrible things. For him to

sacrifice. Basically, he gave his life finally for a decent cause. I also like that what got him over the line was you had the bit with Leia's voice being like Ben and he turned, but what actually made him realise that he needed to help was her healing him. Yeah.

And her then saying, I wanted to take your hand. Yeah. That was nice. Are you up to date with The Mandalorian? I am. Was the Bill Burr episode the most recent one? No. There was an episode that released,

so they changed the release schedule so that an episode came out just before Rise of Skywalker. Any characters from it? No. The reason that they did it is because a new force power is introduced in that, which also happens to be a major plot point in Rise of Skywalker. Interesting.

Well. Force healing becomes a thing. So, okay, my brother's currently messaging me and I have 19 messages from him because he's losing his mind over space magic rules and I'm like, mate, force healing's fine. It fit the narrative of the story. Also, he's like, why has no one ever used it before? I'm like, because

she stole the fucking books from the fucking treehouse. No one else has had access to those books. And you have seen it used before in The Mandalorian, which is set five years after Return of the Jedi. Come on, Tom's brother. Oh yeah, of course, of course. Jacob! Lift!

Tell your brother Jacob to fire up Disney Plus, watch episode seven of The Mandalorian, it'll all be explained. It's not. It's not at all. But again, I didn't hate the Force healing stuff. No, it makes sense. They add Force powers every Star Wars movie. Yeah, it's fine. And she's powerful. It's not at all. But again, I didn't hate the Force healing stuff. No, it makes sense. They add Force powers every Star Wars movie. Yeah, it's fine. And she's powerful, you know?

It's because of her family lineage. There you go. Yeah, yeah. It's healthy. It's in every fucking EU story as well. Yeah, I'm saying that every time, by the way. Oh, cool. Yeah.

And of course, and again, the thing that I like is that it's not like healing. You can't take it from nowhere. You've literally got to give yourself a bit of yourself to the person you're healing. So when you bring someone back from the dead, it's not just willy-nilly. We can bring everybody back from the dead. It's like I've given you my life and now I'm dead.

Yes. I preferred seeing Han Solo to her seeing the Force ghost of Luke. I don't know why, but just like the blue ghost. I'm just like. Also, it was expected. Like Luke was coming back. The force ghost thing, you know that's going to happen. It was the weird force ghost at the very end that felt more forced

than him being like, come on. I didn't expect Han Solo. That was a nice touch. When I heard hey kid, I was like, hang on a minute. Is that Luke? And again, not a ghost in his head so basically it was him working through his own shit and realising he had to do what he had to do

good scene that Death Star fight sick that Death Star fight very sick weren't enough moments I thought like Last Jedi you guys love it a lot more than I do I think it's pretty good I've gone on record saying the last 45 to 60 minutes

of The Last Jedi is one big, long, sustained come for me. I'm going to go on record right now because I was talking about it with the guys that I saw this one with. I've actually thought about it a bit more. I've watched a few of the Star Warses. To be fair, I haven't rewatched Empire

since before I watched Last Jedi. But I'm going to go out on a limb and say that. You're about to make a claim that directly relates to a sentence you just said that you haven't seen recently. Let him go. I'm going to say that having not rewatched Empire Strikes Back recently, I think The Last Jedi is ahead of Empire for me as my favourite Star Wars movie.

It is basically, though, a bee's dick between the two. I rewatched it. It is a Babu Frick dick. Well, you never know. Or puss. We don't know what they're working with. Hey, I said this to Joel. It's a Babu Frick nip.

I said this to Dusha before you came in, Tom. Yep. Would you agree Star Wars is probably the biggest pop culture franchise ever? I think so, yes. Just because it's been around for so long. How many good movies have they made? Two. No.

Okay, three. Good or great? Look, here we go. Classic films. Yep. Empire. I would put a New Hope. Good to great films.

New Hope and Last Jedi. I'm going to put Last Jedi as a classic. I think over time I think it'll become a classic. And also not calling a New Hope a classic feels rude. Fair enough then. It's the first one. So we've got three good movies. We've got three classics.

Three classics and probably two really good. What are they? Return of the Jedi. Not really good, just good. Really good. Here's your tiers. Just good. Now, here's your tiers.

So your top tier are Last Jedi Empire, New Hope. Now, no, I'm not going to call them classics or not classics. I'm just tiering them. That's top tier. Top tier is Empire, Last Jedi. And then just a little bit underneath it, New Hope. Yeah. All right.

That's my ranking as well. Then underneath that, you've probably got Force Awakens, this and Return of the Jedi and maybe Revenge of the Sith. Oh, I strongly disagree with a lot of that. Yeah, shut up, Tom. Nah, sorry. Your opinion, continue. Nah.

Revenge of the Sith and this hold no light to Return of the Jedi. Revenge of the Sith sucks. Maybe it does. Phantom Menace is the best prequel. Revenge of the Sith kind of gets held up in light of the two other shit ones that it's

with. Also Revenge of the Sith has an idea that people like but the execution is dog shit minus one good lightsaber fire. That's true.

Are we talking Order 66? Well actually Order 66. People froth over that. It's not a very good scene. No.

It's a cool idea. Yeah. It's Anakin slowly turning to the dark side anakin going bad in that movie is cooked the pacing of it is fucked up they cook it so bad that the only reason that people like it is because they know that it had to happen and like oh he's killing kids but like hey but you also get the greatest line in Star Wars history. Hello there. That's also in A New Hope.

This is going further off topic, but for me, like the best Star Wars scene is in probably the second worst Star Wars movie, Phantom Menace. It's the Darth Maul with the doors opening, the music fucking, the jewel of fates. It's the Darth Maul. The door's opening, the music fucking... The Jewel of Fates? Mate. It's fucking epic. Why wasn't that in this? Can I say another thing I like speaking of the music?

I really like some of the reworkings of the original themes. There's that great redoing with chimes of the Imperial March when she's walking through the abandoned Death Star. It's almost like it's on a xylophone or something. Some of the reworked stuff's really good. Yep. There's other times in the movie where the music is just like, okay, you've just wanted to use an old Star Wars song.

It doesn't fit what's happening. Yep. The tone's a bit of it. The Imperial March, like a soft little Imperial March is like, this is a bit menacing. They play it a bunch though. Every time he sees Vader's helmet, the Imperial March plays. No, no, no. But that's the old, like this is is like, this is a bit menacing. They play it a bunch, though. Every time he sees Vader's helmet, the Imperial March plays. No, no, no, but that's the old, like, this is literally,

like, it feels like chimes, which is a nice, like it's a light Imperial March. I would have liked to have heard the theme, the slow down theme that they had in the trailer. Yeah. Because, fuck, that's peak. It's weird that they did some fan service-y stuff and didn't go super hard with it where they probably could have.

Because this movie isn't particularly bloated. It's two hours 20. It's probably 30 minutes too long. It probably is, but it does, at the same time, it is pretty quick. Like it gets going really fucking quick. It goes along, but I sort of sat there and I was kind of like, I don't care. I'm not as invested as I was in previous films.

But I don't think that that's an issue with length I was in previous films. But that, I don't think that that's an issue with length. I think that the pacing and- Oh, that's a writing issue. Pacing, like, what was it? Two hours and twenty? Yeah. It doesn't feel like it's two hours and twenty. No, no. So, for example, Infinity War and Endgame. Infinity War is pushing three

hours. Endgame is three hours. This is forty minutes shorter than Endgame. And they probably could have just used that extra four. If the last ever Skywalker saga film was three hours, no one's going to be like, what the fuck? They'll be like, no, you've earned it. Fair enough. And like, it would have given them a chance

to have a celebration like the end of Return of the Jedi. If you want to do fan service and stuff, don't just show us two Ewoks for no fucking reason. But those Ewoks got a cunting round of applause. Can I say that on this show? Yeah, you can say cunt as much as you want. Talk about the reactions because my cinema was full. Yep.

The vibe was pretty low. No. And then there was a bit of applause at the end. No, I had a good vibe. We had a lot of laughter. Yeah. But we also had like, so we had laughter, which was great. we also had like so we had laughter which was great and the people i was with it was really great as well we had laughter we had like a couple of like

moments when stuff happened when babu frick first appeared my mate next to me lost his mind couldn't literally the scene that ended he turned to me and he goes oh i can't even tell you what happened in that scene tom would you say that both your friend and Babu Frick love it? Oh, they're up here, mate. They love it more than Billy Dee. They love it. And he loves it. But there was also moments, though, when something happened

and you could tell the audience didn't like it, they vocalised it. Like you could actually feel. So literally when the Palpatine thing happened, there was a smattering of like, oh, like in the audience. And then someone literally just went, eh. I was like, yeah, I'm with you, bud. I'm with you, champ. How weird is it that they deal with that?

So which is the first, probably, it's probably the biggest reveal in the film, but they deal with it in the same level that they deal with every other twist. Like they don't lean into it. There's no moment of like, they're just like, oh, okay. Anyway, here's the next reveal. C-3PO's got red eyes.

C-3PO's dying. Nah, he's fine. Chewbacca's dead. Nah, he's fine. They revealed that Chewbacca's fine like two minutes after it happens. And also too early because the other characters are still grieving for him. The very next scene is them still grieving and be like,

we've got to do something or he died for nothing. And we're just sitting there being like, he did die for nothing. Do you know what I think the issue there was? If you have like a 20 or 30 minute chunk of a film where you think a character's dead through an action that was already kind of shit. Like I like that scene, but having Rey accidentally force lightning Chewie to death.

Yeah, you probably, well, then you can't go back to them being like, you either go Chewie died for nothing, and then you reveal that Chewie's alive. Yeah. You don't go, kill, we killed Chewie. Chewie's alive. Man, we have to do something because Chewie's dead. Yeah.

You need to do all of the Chewie's, I get what you're getting at, but you need to do all of where the Chewie is. I would have kept him dead. Yeah, kill him. Don't kill anybody. That's fucked up. Kill people. Come on. They didn't kill anybody, Sean?

Who'd they kill? Princess Leia. Princess Leia. Kylo Ren. She's already dead, though. Whoa! Whoa! Come on, mate.

Fuck. Leia, Kylo Ren. Yeah, whatever. They kill off the guy who's been that pilot the whole time, the psychic from Heroes. Oh, fuck. Okay, so this is my issue with J.J. Abrams. That guy is in every movie, right?

Yeah. To the point where in this one, every time he's on screen, I'm like, it pulls me out of the movie a bit because I'm like, oh, the obligatory guy. But then, fuck, Charlie fromatory guy. But then. The joke about him. No, no, but fuck. Charlie from Lost, he just appears, right? Yeah. And I'm like, well, no, he's too big.

He's not a big actor. You recognize him. He does nothing. He's just in there because he's a friend of JJ. Got to do something with him. Hey, he hugs the slug man. He hugs everyone. Hey, you know who's great?

Slug man. Who is written. So where is an electrician? It's a tentative hug. Like, oh, do's great? Slugman. Who is written. He's an electrician? It's a tentative hug. Do I hug the slug? Is he going to eat me? I like that. I think Adam pointed that out when I saw the midnight screening with him.

The slugman on the Millennium Falcon is put in there like when you've got a sitcom and it's getting a bit dry. So you add a new character, but then just pretend like they've been there the whole time. Yeah. Who is Slugman? Why is he there? We'll never know. Charlie was like that too. Hey, guys.

Oh, fuck. There's one thing. I think we're in the point of- No, there's one thing. There's one more thing I really, really liked. Yes. Because it was the only thing they could have done with the character, and that ruled, which is Hux just betraying the First Order.

Not because he wants... No, he just doesn't want... He doesn't want the Resistance to win. He just wants Kylo Ren to lose. And his reward is the very next scene, he gets shot in the chest and dies. Yep. I wanted them to do more with it, though.

If you're going to make him the spy, make him the spy, and then make him betray them them and then they kill him, let him die. But he was such an insane character for so long and they just kind of replaced him with Richard E. Grant. Who did nothing. Who did nothing except love the emperor, apparently. So the fact that he was in it, I figured he would be the spy. Yeah. No.

But no. Just Hux. Have Hux join the resistance. That's pretty funny. And then hate it. And then hate it. Hate it the whole fucking time. I like the idea of him being angry the resistance is dirty. Yeah, that's why he would hate it. He'd be like, disgusting. But also,

I hate the Emperor. Nah, but you can't redeem him because he's a space Nazi. Yeah, so he dies. He betrays them, goes back to Kylo him because he's a space Nazi. Yeah, so he does. He betrays them, goes back to Kylo. Those guys, they kill him. Yeah, make him the coward that he is. Maybe it still works the same way,

but you need to have a scene in between him being a spy and Richard E. Grant just shooting him. Yeah. It was pretty great, though. He's like, oh, is that how it happened? I like to think it also happened because they didn't shoot him in the arm. They shot him in the leg It was pretty great though. He's like, oh, is that how it happened? I like to think it also happened because I didn't shoot him in the arm, I shot him in the leg.

That's the giveaway. That's the giveaway. Oh, the old shoot in the leg trick. I have a couple more things actually. So just to clarify, like I like the Ray Ransom. I just,

I loved Daisy Ridley's like ability to play emotions and she's very fucking good. So is Adam Driver. So is Oscar Isaac and so is adam driver so is oscar isaac and so is john boyega even though his character is really weird in this movie but the sequence that i really love and it's really it's corny as shit but this is the pandering that i like it's when she gets knocked down and he they're killing her and she's she finally lean into it more yes she finally lean into it more. Yes. She finally show them you stupid JJ Abrams cunt. No,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, I didn't. I I'm okay with not saying them. This is the rise thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I liked, I liked this. We're cool. I liked it. I liked the fact that she finally did the same fucking thing in the force awakens though. This isn't really a step up from that. I'm a douche.

They should have all been there as force ghosts. Yeah, I guess. But the thing is, They should have all been there as force ghosts. Yeah, I guess. But the thing is, they're not all force ghosts. Mate, if I saw a fucking Qui-Gon Jinn again. Launched into space. I just flooded the screen, Tom. The extreme screen. I think the issue is, though, it's like, who do you show, though?

Because there's so many. Having the voices was... Because you got... So you had Samuel L. Jackson Fuck yeah bring him back Ewan McGregor Give me that purple lightsaber Fucking Qui-Gon was there

Yeah Bloody Yoda Do you know who you've listed? Everyone they should have shown Yeah alright okay I'm with you They should have leaned into it more But I really enjoyed that as a moment

And her getting up And it's corny as shit I love a corny line In a big pop culture blockbuster But the line I am all the Sith And I am all the Jedi and I am all the Jedi, as she pulls out a lightsaber out, massive erection.

It felt a little easy though, didn't it? His line I liked, her line I didn't. Yeah, didn't need to say it. We all knew it. Why does two lightsabers beat the Emperor? No, it wasn't the two lightsabers. It was this, Sean. Oh, the heart.

It was this. Actually, it was the Jedi in it. It was a little too easy to beat it. It was neither of those things. It was Luke and Leia coming together. Which is why the fucking- Fuck, it's the two lights. Oh, that's so good. Why she takes the fucking name, you idiot.

It's because she- She combined them. She brought them together for the first time in the fight. Yeah, the twins become one. I get what they're in the fight. Yeah, the twins become one. It's... I get what they're trying to do. Yeah. But also, Mace Windu just needed one more lightsaber and then this shit

never happens. Kid Fisto's dead. Use his. He's just there. Fuck. Kid Fisto. Joel, that is a Star Wars deep dive and I fucking love it. Kid Fisto's fish with dreadlocks in case anyone's looking. Yeah, Green Light Sabre gets killed by the Emperor.

Yep. And you know what? You know who else is having a really good time as well? So like, as established, Babu Frick up here. He's top. Billy Dee, also having a great time. My mate, he's up there as well. Joel's having a great time.

And Dermot's having a fucking great time. He's like, do I just get to choose scenery and laugh? Count me the fuck in, buddy. Yes, I'll do it. Yes. Oh, Tom. What? Was that pretty good?

I'm not going to do it again. It's going to be you doing fucking. It was better than what he offered up. Do it. It was almost like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Do it. Now. Get it. It was almost like Arnold Schwarzenegger was the emperor. Do it. Now. Get it done.

Kill the Jedi. I would love to see different actors do that. You should get like Christopher Walken. Do it. Go on. Kill me.

Become Ziv. You'll be great at it. All right. Go on. Great Christopher Walken impression. But we're at a scene that i think we need to transition to things we didn't like and this scene is a good point because i think that this scene is almost

50 50 good things and bad things agree bad thing a very bad thing with this and it's very important because it's the final act of the final film in the Skywalker saga. Yep. What the fuck is the Emperor's plan? Because he says, Ray, kill me so I can, my spirit goes in you. Then old mate, Kylie rocks up and he's like,

it's fine. I'll just kill you. So why, why did you wait until now? If you can just kill her also, why Ray and not your son or daughter also, why make her the son of the, why not just be like,

I manipulated the Force the same way I created Anakin? Remember when I did that? I did it again. Here's the thing, guys. Okay, right? It doesn't have to be Palpatine. It literally can be the, if you literally,

you can have him as a Sith ghost, right? And he is literally pulling strings, being like, I just need the strongest Force user in the galaxy to bring back to life so that I can rule again. There's your solution. She doesn't have to be the granddaughter of Palpatine. You can still have the great moment of she's literally nobody,

which I really fucking loved and I fucking hate. They shit all over The Last Jedi and they fucking did Cali Marie trans so fucking dirty. Here we are. So fucking dirty. I'm are. So fucking dirty. I'm so angry at how badly they treated her. Here we are. Welcome to the bits we didn't like.

They justified a bunch of trolls bullying a woman off social media with this fucking shitty take in this fucking movie. Thomas. I'm angry, Sean. And I liked the film. Has a franchise ever disrespected an actress more than Kelly? No. She does nothing in this movie.

She doesn't even have any one-on-one scenes with Finn. They completely rewrote her character. They just didn't give a shit. They gave her one cool action thing where she drops bombs in a thing. That's it. They also give a scene, which is really weird that they put this in the movie where Finn's giving a speech about being like courageous and whatever, and willing to sacrifice himself.

And she's in the scene. And if you remember the end of the last Jedi, she's like, no, we don't die to win. We live and show them love. And he's like, I'm going to die.

And she's like, but she looks, she gives a look of like, no, what are you doing? But they don't address it. They don't. Basically the thing that frustrates me the most about look. Okay.

Now just quickly, a ground assault on a star destroyer is sick though. Continue. That is sick. The fact that they're like, you're going to do a ground assault on a star destroyer. It's like, yeah, we don't have any other plans. Also big fan of the line quickly freeze their speeders. And they're like, they're not using speeders. plans. Also, big fan of the line, quickly, freeze their speeders. And they're like, they're not using speeders.

But I've never seen basically, and this might be going on for a huge tangent and I might make a lot of enemies, but I don't care. I'll post your address in the comments. Please do. If people want to come fight you. Yeah, bring it on. I'll fucking fight you. I've got double lightsabers, bitch.

Bring it on. I'll fucking fight you. I've got double lightsabers, bitch. Bring it on. It's the fact that by retconning her relationship with Finn, retconning her character completely, sidelining her, introducing another character to basically be the Rose in this movie to Finn. You've basically said- Who also does nothing. Who also does nothing. You've basically said to the people who mercilessly bullied this woman,

like she had to quit Twitter and Instagram because of trolls. You've told them that what they did was justified because you in a way agree with it. Yeah, they're going to go around and go, I told you so. I was talking to someone after the film and they were like, was it just you who said it then? I don't know. No, maybe it was one of the guys.

He said if George Lucas... Say what you're trying to say. If George Lucas was still directing Star Wars and the backlash had been that massive on Tran, she would have featured more heavily in Rise of Skywalker. I disagree with that statement because Jar Jar Binks, there is no way that he wasn't planned to be a major part of Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith.

I think that George Lucas also caved to backlash and I think it's natural to cave to some backlash. I just don't think you should, you should do it at the, at the, at the risk of really fucking up an actor, but also like it doesn't even make sense. Story-wise why introduce characters,

just more and more characters in the finale of a film for them just to all do nothing. It also showed that really not, it showed growth on Finns. This is the thing, right? So Poga has grown and changed this year. Ray has thing, right? So Poga has grown and changed. Yeah.

Rey has grown and changed. Kylo Ren has grown and changed. Finn has gone backwards because all the growth he did as a character is with Rose, and if you take her out, and he just goes back to being the same guy again. Yeah. You could basically, for Finn, he could not be in film eight. He could be in a coma for all of film eight,

and film nine would still make sense for him the only difference is he's learned not to run away he learns not to run away at the end of 6 no it's at the start of 8 because that's how Rose and him meet he's trying to board yeah I guess

I mean you could do that another way really again but again it's just they do such I've never seen She's treated with contempt They're cowards it's so shit And you can almost see it in her face in that movie When they went off on their mission

To that planet that had like the festival Yeah She just should have gone with them That's the easiest way to do it She goes with them There's a the easiest way to do it. She goes with them. There's a bit of, like, tension because it's her and Finn and Rey on the ship working together. Yep.

There you go. She's in the story now. Even if you're just, like, because you split up the characters, whatever, put her on the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca and Lando. Yep. Yep. She's one of the main characters of the previous film, and then she's in this

For like honestly Five very minor scenes Probably Yep Although Whilst I disagree With how they did this I guess this trilogy

Has done that before Because Hux is like A major villain Of the Force Awakens And then in The Last Jedi Is used as a joke But I would argue He's still a joke

In the Force Awakens. Did they get the mileage out of him? Whereas with her, they used her. And then like Tom said, they kind of just dropped that and it affects Finn's story. It does absolutely feel like though that they caved to pressure. I was watching it. Sorry.

Yeah. They even walk back. We're going to say the same thing. They even walk back the stuff of like Snoke's speech, which is the Emperor talking about how when the dark side grows stronger, the light rises to meet it. But I guess you could say that that still is the case, but they're just switched.

And that as Rey is getting stronger in the dark side, Kylo is rising because he's actually born of the light. This is also just fucking Miracle Man. Mr. Miracle. Miracle Man. I haven't read yet. Are you familiar with the back? Like this isn't the 12 issue new thing.

It's just his origin. Okay. Not particularly, but go. Okay. So this isn't even explained in the thing you haven't read, but so Mr. Miracle is the son of Oh, I know about that.

And they get swapped or whatever. Yeah, they get swapped as part of a peace deal. This is the same fucking thing. Kylo is born of the light, becomes dark. Rey, born of the dark, becomes light. Yeah, it just If they wanted to do that, they could lean into that.

Lean into it heaps. Why is she Palpatine's granddaughter? That's the other thing. So, I don't know if they, if Abrams had always planned to do that and Johnson fucked him over. And so he had to explain it out. Or if he just decided to do that for this movie because of the backlash from

her being nobody in the last movie. I don't know. I hate it so much. The Emperor is mentioned in The Force Awakens. But not in 8. He's mentioned once, and it's in the most like- What's the comment? It's Snoke saying something about the Emperor.

Okay. Like, he's just like something, something, the Emperor. Yeah. It might even be in relation to Vader. You know what I find weird that they wouldn't have done? Because they knew they were making a new trilogy and they probably would have known

that they had Rian Johnson lined up for the second one. Well, because the third one wasn't supposed to be J.J. Abrams. It was Colin Trevorrow. And then they sacked him and brought Abrams in. But he still got like

a screenwriting credit for this. Colin Trevorrow. So did the fucking dude. What's his name? Fuck. Anyway, I can't remember his name. It's not worth remembering. He did Batman vs Superman. And Justice League. Chris Terrio. Yes. I think his name? Fuck. Anyway, can't remember his name. It's not worth remembering.

He did Batman versus Superman. And Justice League. Chris Terrio. Yes. I think his name is. Yeah. Fuck. This had, I think, four or five writers attached to it.

You couldn't tell. How many writers in Last Jedi? Two, I think. No, one writer, but three story credits. What would have been a good idea is for them to go, right, these are the three people who are going to direct it. Obviously, JJ ended up doing the third one. But have the three of them sit down and come up with the story

so that it all links up because it's basically, it looks like JJ's gone, oh, nice job, Ryan. That was kind of cool. I'll use the things I absolutely have to, but everything else, fuck it. It does feel like you could actually skip. You could not watch The Last Jedi and you could just watch Force Awakens and this yes there's some confusing parts but really i think that there was what you're saying there was

i think that but i don't think it was for every character and i think so because ray and kylo ren very consistent yeah i would say that there was just like very broad stroke beats. So things like Rian Johnson didn't have to tease more of the Emperor stuff, but then, because they also could have, in a different world where J.J. Abrams doesn't direct this, maybe Rey is still nobody, because they gave you an adequate explanation in The Last Jedi. That mystery was solved.

People just hated it. So they gave you a second solution. It's not like they left it up in the air. Which just sucked. Like the sucked. What's Benicio's role in Jedi Z, the codebreaker? Yeah, he's the hacker guy. DJ is his name. They could have gone back to him to fix the C-3PO

issue. But Sean? Yeah, then you wouldn't get the most excited and lovin' it man in the world. What if he's Babu Frick's owner? I'll tell you what I did like. I love the reveal that I love that throwaway line of Oscar Isaacs when they're like,

you're a spice runner and he's like, and you're a stormtrooper. You're a spice runner, you're a scavenger. We could do this all day. The banter of the team is good. I get keeping those three together after separating them is really good. They work well together. And it's nice to have that core trio together,

much the same as Return of the Jedi brings the core trio back together. But they're not a trio anymore. They're a cortex. Chuck Rose in there as well. You add – they keep adding new characters. The woman, the horseback woman who's also a stormtrooper, who's friends with Finn, it's like I get – She was cool.

She's cool. But give that screen time to Rose. Yep. Or to other characters who you've already established. And look, you can still bring someone who's a leader of a bunch of rebel stormtroopers. That's a really nice touch and a really cool element. But I think just to sideline her like that just seems super weird.

And again, to just kind of piss all over after the abuse that both Ryan Johnson and Tran copped to then kind of let it happen. She copped it as well. Like, which I've always found weird. Like I look, I'm absolutely fucking opening a can of worms here. I do it.

The Mary Sue stuff. Oh, fucking dumb. But a lot of that actually comes from the force awakens like because she's had training by the time she does anything in the last jedi but people piss babies can't move past that so they just still cling there's only two scenes in the force awakens that i don't think work properly in regards to Ray and her power level. But I guess now she's Palpatine's granddaughter who gives a shit, but it just,

none of it makes sense. Like why be angry at an actress for something like that? Be angry at. Because people, because people are idiots and they don't know how to separate. Because people are idiots. Yeah. People are fucking idiots.

Let this be a lesson to literally everyone. Getting angry at a second movie in a franchise when they have plenty of time to sort their shit out in a third film, not worth your time. Imagine going off to Empire Strikes Back because the villains won in that. Hey, fun fact, though. People did? Probably. Twitter didn't exist then.

Here's the thing, though, just on that note, like the thing, the weakest, the, the honestly, the weakest parts of this film are when the film gives the audience what it wants. Yeah.

Imagine if we had got an episode nine that did what the last Jedi did. I'm not saying it had to do it exactly, but imagine if we got a last Jedi, a, a, a rise of Skywalker with a different director who, because to be honest, a lot of these plot beats, you can still hit exactly the same. You can still have the Sith stuff happen.

It doesn't have to, she doesn't have to be Palpatine's daughter. Fuck. Yeah. Palpatine could still be alive because he's literally the embodiment of every Sith Lord ever. Why didn't they lean into him being Darth Plagueis? Like that seems like a real easy way to be like, of every Sith Lord ever. Why didn't they lean into him being Darth Plagueis?

Like that seems like a real easy way to be like, I'm alive because that story of Darth Plagueis, it's been told it was me. Yeah. I stole or I thought, yeah, I killed him and I stole his fucking secret. Fuck you. Remember Darth Plagueis the wise? I'm him, bitch.

That would have been cool. And also like they promised this was going to tie into the prequels that much. And it kind of doesn't. It spends too much time trying to walk back. And again, you still don't have to have a B's granddaughter to have that be a plot point. You can still have all the Sith stuff.

You still have your cake and eat it too. You just have to tweak a few things here and there. You just got to do a bit of- Make her the fucking- He created her. Cool, whatever. And he was controlling Snoke. That's fine. You just need to explain it a of- Make her the fucking- He created her. Cool. Whatever. And he was controlling Snoke. That's fine.

You just need to explain it a little better and don't start- Probably start about 20 minutes earlier in the movie than you did. Yep. Or start with the heist to get the recording from the spy and then have the intercut of Adam Driver doing shit. And you're like, what the fuck's he doing? And then when you see that thing, then we have the audience learn that tracker thing that he has.

Have the audience learn that that tracker thing is a Sith thing and it'll take you to the Sith Lord. And you go, oh, my God, we've seen Kylo Ren running around the galaxy, one of them, and now he's got a new helmet and they've got a new fleet of ships. What the fuck is happening? Who's on that planet? Yeah, they didn't need him in the trailer. And the fuck is happening? Who's on that planet?

Yeah, they didn't need him in the trailer. And you don't put him in the fucking title scroll. Did you, when the movie started, Sean and I were talking this off air, when the movie started, the opening crawl started, were you like, what the fuck? The dead speak! Because I absolutely was. When it started, I was like, oh no.

This is the first title scroll scroll like in a room of war doesn't address the previous film at all. It was just like, what? Yeah, there was nothing in the last film that suggested Palpatine was alive. Like, literally nothing. You watch Force Awakens and then watch this. Yep. If you're a big piece of shit.

If you want a bad time. And what's Kylo's motivations for putting the helmet back on? Don't know. Looks sick. Yeah. What's his plan? Well, no. So his plan is the same plan that he had with Snoke,

which is to destroy. So he thinks he's defeated Snoke and that's the end of it. He's the supreme leader. He's the supreme leader. But it's not even about that. It's about the Sith is dead. The Jedi are gone. It's just me.

But also what I love is I love that bit where he talks to her and he's like, the Emperor wants me to kill you, but I don't want, like, he's asked me to kill you. But I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to convince you to join the dark side. Because what that implies is, and the fact that her training is all off because she sees him, what that implies is that they've continued to have conversations

between Last Jedi and this. Yes. And I like that a lot. However, another dumb thing that they don't do is she's like, oh, I've been plagued by these visions. Show us the fucking visions at some point before this movie, you arse clowns, or don't give her visions at all. Hey, Palpatine's message that is heard throughout the galaxy.

What is it? Also, no one mentions it. It was just, do it. It's probably just him fucking going, ah, ah, ah, ah. I subscribe to my podcast. Wouldn't it have been cool to hear that? Like, that's the first scene. Right. Don't, I just, I'm not a

big fan of the scroll. Oh, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Say that there's a message has been intercepteded by the First Order Some spies are going in to get it Your rogue won it So they go in, they get the recording, they play the recording They're like what is it, what is it They're figuring out, oh we can't listen to it, we can't decipher it 3PO or R2D2 hits it and then bang

Plays it over a loudspeaker, everyone hears it Everyone just hears the laugh and they go Palpatine's alive, we need to fucking find him Am I a fucking, are we all dumb cunts Is that the message that Hux gave to them and they go, Palpatine's alive. We need to fucking find him. Are we all dumb cunts? Is that the message that Hux gave to them though? Is that Palpatine's message? It's vague, but is that what it's meant to be? The stuff in the scroll is stuff that's already happened.

Correct. When your movie starts. So if that's what they intended, then they cooked it, I think. So the opening, what it should be is that- What is the thing? Wait, yeah. What's the information they get from the spy? They've got a new fleet.

Oh, okay. The fleet of ships. Oh, that's right. And it's the- And it's not that Palpatine's alive. It's just they've got a fleet of ships. It would have been cool if it was the Palpatine recording. Yeah.

And then they play it and people are like, what the fuck? There's the start of the movie. And then you do a fade cut to Adam Driver landing on the Sith planet. And you're like, holy shit. He's found the Sith planet. He's going to join the Emperor. Great. Done.

Hey, guys. We just fixed Star Wars. Fucking hell. Could you argue? The very existence of this trilogy is just pointless because it's the same as the last. Cool. Good guys won, defeated the Sith,

and then when they inevitably do episode 10 11 and 12 I don't think they can it's gonna be the same shit again well no aren't we getting it bad guys will rise up good guys will beat them

aren't we getting it aren't we getting it we're not getting another Skywalker saga I don't think but you can't you can't you can't tell me that bloodline's dead

literally the bloodline's dead no mate Rey she's a Skywalker she only in name she's not actually a Skywalker nah hey hey it's all in the name mate it's. No, mate. Ray. She's a Skywalker. Only in name, she's not actually a Skywalker. It's all in the name, mate. It's all in here, mate.

All in your heart. But to be fair, you can't tell me that that shot of her doing a yellow lightsaber on what is very clearly a double-ended lightsaber because she fights with a quarter staff and I fucking love it. Why not see that? I don't understand why. Well, yeah, if you're going to show it because it's clearly double-ended. You've seen that version of her in the future

where she's got the double-ended lightsaber. Yeah. Just have her pop one end, have her pop the other end and be like, sick. Also, it's a classic. It's the same as the Darth Maul reveal at Solo where she just turns a lightsaber on for no fucking reason. Yeah.

No point. Why? She literally did it because you're watching it and going, oh, you're burying the two lightsabers. What are you going to do without a lightsaber? And then she's got one. You're like, oh. Do you feel good, Tom?

Yep. I'm happy that you do. I would have felt better if I saw both hands. For no reason. I love that she buries it. It's top secret. That old woman's like, there we go. What are you fucking burying there?

Also, I'm the emperor. That would have been the best. Oh, and just wink at the camera as it zooms in. What do you think was the plan originally to end this trilogy? Because it clearly wasn't this. Well, I think it was this from Force Awakens. You reckon? Maybe with Palpatine.

I know Leia was always meant to be a Jedi. Yeah. Which I, you are. I loved that she was training her. And also that. Leia's lightsaber was always a plot point. Yeah.

Cause they were going to say like, here's Leia's lightsaber. Like as in you would see her with a lightsaber, not just in that weird flashback. They still haven't quite. It's wonky. Yep. A lot of it's wonky. They still haven't quite. It's wonky. Yep. A lot of it's wonky.

It's a wonky film. It's a wonky film. And you know what? From a series as balls to the wall, like we talk about like how Star Wars is this great pop cultural zeitgeist, and it is. But as you said, Sean, there are a large chunk of the movies that are utter shit.

So you have nine movies. A third of them are bad. Hey, we've all still watched them multiple times. We will, and we will continue to watch them. Hey, here's a question. Isn't this the perfect end to it? It's a little bit wobbly, but when it's great, it's really great. Yeah.

Tom, nice try. Tom, I'm with you. Thanks, mate. I'm as suspicious things better than I'm with him. Yeah, okay. What you got? They shit the bed, which is also a Star Wars tradition. Hey, we're both right.

Because in Star Wars, you can be. And yeah, I don't know. Maybe the bad guys did win in Star Wars. Yeah. Maybe we- The trolls win in Star Wars. Yeah. Maybe we- The trolls who bullied people on the internet. Maybe we, the fans that for some reason thought we knew what we wanted but didn't actually want this, got what we deserved.

A three and a half star film, maybe a three. I haven't posted my Letterboxd review yet, but I'm thinking three. I've given it three and a half. I think I gave Force Awakens three, so this has got an extra half star just because I love the Rey. That's insane to me that Force Awakens is only a three from you. Yeah, I'd probably give it

a four. Force Awakens is a four, Last Jedi is a four and a half, maybe a five. For me, Last Jedi is a five, Empire is a five, New Hope is a four. New Hope is a four and a half for me as well. Return and this are four and a half, maybe a five. For me, Last Jedi's a five, Empire's a five, New Hope's a four. New Hope's a four and a half for me as well. Return and this are three and a half. Force Awakens is a three. One is a three.

Revenge is a two. Clones is a one. What's Rogue One? Three to four. What's Solo? Two. Not a good film. I didn't hate Solo.

The thing about Solo, the thing that frustrates me. Do you ever think about it? No. The thing that annoys me the most about Solo. Two. Not a good film. I didn't hate Solo. The thing about Solo, the thing that frustrates me. But it's like, do you ever think about it? No. The thing that annoys me the most about Solo is that you can see that Lord and Miller could have made a really good movie and it. That's the thing about Star Wars. There's so many what ifs. Every fucking movie has a what if.

Except Last Jedi and Empire Strikes Back. I read a thing about Solo the other day and I'd forgotten this. Is there a scene in the movie where they call him Solo because he's on his own? Yes. Yep. That's pretty fucking. That's where he gets the surname from.

His name is just Han. He has no lie to that. He's literally Ray Skywalker. Well, my family worked in the circus. Sean Carney. Yeah. Ray Skywalker. Well, my family worked in the circus. Sean Carney. Yeah, my parents were like plants next to a river. You don't want to know what my family did. Cleaned assholes.

So overall. Entertaining. It's definitely entertaining. We'll make you angry though. Overall, I liked it I didn't love it and I fear for rewatches

but there was enough things I was like holy shit throughout the film that I was like this feels like the type of movie that was made

for a midnight screening or the first exciting first watch in a pack cinema because everything is so fucked where you're meant to be like oh my god

like there was like seven or eight rounds of applause throughout the film when i watched it it's that's what you want at midnight yeah we also got applause we gotta get that excitement like when the lights went down at the start yeah where people go oh and everyone's like people clapped uh the theme when when the when star wars came up and the theme came in did you get a round of applause we got a round of applause there but we also got a round of applause for a long time ago on a galaxy far far away

they stopped briefly then Star Wars came on the screen and they cheered again just keep it going the dead speak what the fuck is up with this crawl I've never never ever ever seen a Star Wars film where the when I've seen the crawl I've been like oh what

man and yeah hey I've seen the Crawl I've been like oh what? man and yeah hey I've seen the entire Skywalker saga in cinemas hey that's cool have I? I don't know if I saw

Attack of the Clones in the cinema maybe even Revenge of the Sith I saw Revenge of the Sith about a hundred times I distinctly remember seeing Phantom Menace but Sean

you must have seen Revenge of the Sith in the cinema so that you could have seen Revenge of the Sith in the cinema so that you could have heard the round of applause for the most iconic line in Star Wars history. Which one? Hello there. You walked straight into that.

You got me again. Fucking hell. I thought I was going to get abused. You just opened the door and I went, I'll step through and I'll say hello there. I'd forgotten that you mentioned it before. Yeah. So, this is it.

Yep. We've done it. Woo. All the Star Wars films babu frick babi how do you feel Joel I think you're I don't know

is he more emotionally invested in Star Wars than you are Tom um my attachment has sort of dimmed a little bit in my recent times we both loved

The Last Jedi though yeah but which got me back up on it see my excitement has never dimmed I didn't feel- The Force Awakens, those comes on the screen that Sean was talking about earlier, I was guilty of them.

I mean, look, I loved Force Awakens. I think I saw that in the cinema like four times. I didn't feel how I thought I would. Like assuming this is the end. Yeah. Really? I don't know. Because Star Wars, like it is weird.

It has been such like a big part of our lives. But it's going to keep going. You're going to get spin-off movies. You're going to get TV series. Disney aren't going to let it die. Will that feel the same? No. No, it'll feel different.

As the silver screen. No, it won't. Well, no, but also I think we'll eventually get, maybe not, but I really want, I don't think we'll get it now, but I want Rian Johnson's standalone trilogy. I think, depending on how this film goes, it might be well and truly back on the cards. Because they're like, hey, that was good.

What we made instead was bad. Oh, one last thing I hated. Just to let everybody know that episode- A nice ending. Just to let everybody know that episode eight definitely happened. There is the worst throwaway in line in the world, but they're trying to come up with a strategy of how to take down the ships. The holdo technique.

And Dominic Monaghan's like, the holdo technique, in case you forgot that character from the movie that we won't reference again. And they're like, well, you can't do that. It's a one in a million shot. I feel bad for Dominic. I feel bad for a lot of people. What's the point of that character? Billy Lord was in this a lot, and that was nice.

Yeah, that was cool. She's also in The Last Jedi a lot and actually does cool stuff, but at least she's here. She's also in Booksmart a lot, and isn't that movie great? Yeah. I don't know. This has been movies. I just don't know. Are you flat movies. I just don't know.

Are you flat? I'm a bit flat, yeah. Hey, do you know what you need to be more like? Bubby Frick. He loves it! Yes! Give me a droid, I'll kill it. I don't even care.

Woo! God, that was a dumb fake out about C-3PO dying, especially after you just had one with Chewbacca dying. Kill them both. It should have been ruthless, to be honest. Kill them if you have to. It's the end. Kill R2-D2.

Again, they killed all three main characters from the original trilogy. Let's not forget that. No, that's not enough, though. Your blood lost is high. No, but like... Walking Dead hasn't even done that. Leia dying is a nothing in the...

No, sorry. It's not a nothing. It's obviously a nothing. It's obviously big because she's a huge character, but it's 100% expected. Kill somebody else. Why does Finn have to survive? Why does Poe have to survive?

Why do any of them have to survive? Kill them all. They killed Kylo Ren. Yeah, but I don't like him. Skywalker's a don. Kill someone I like. They killed the entire Skywalker. We've watched the Skywalker. No, mate. There's still one Skywalker. Skywalker's the Don. Kill someone I like. They killed the entire Skywalker. We've watched the Skywalker. No, mate.

There's still one Skywalker. Her name's Rey. Rey Skywalker. She's got a yellow light. I was waiting for a look at the camera when she said that too. A wink? Just a tinkle. Twirl the double yellow.

Kill the woman. Brave Joyce going yellow. Yeah. Respect. Double yellow Kill the woman Brave Joyce going yellow Yeah Respect

So Look We've seen the birth of the Skywalker bloodline And the Phantom Menace And we've seen it end In Rise of Skywalker It's interesting because it's called Rise

Yet They don't They do right Alright again Come on mate She's a Skywalker. But can I just say that? Is it like a Spartacus thing?

I am Skywalker. Hey, Dusha. I'm Babu Frick. Actually, coming into the movie, what did you think that was going to mean? I thought it was going to be that the Skywalkers are dead, but then they're going to kill the Jedi off as well, and the Jedi is going to be replaced by Skywalkers. Yeah, that's what I thought too.

That's what I thought. And maybe that's kind of what it is. She buried the last two Jedi lightsabers. And she's that weird mix of she can do dark side shit but is also good enough to be a Jedi. She could have used her dark side shit in the film apart from when she thinks she killed her friend and then never does it again.

She should use it on Kylo Ren and then heal him. That would have been nice. We were wrapping up, but I'm going to just open it up again. Oh, God. Sorry. But, you know, like. I was getting ready to go home, mate. This is like when a band comes on for an encore.

You're like, oh, I'm done. All right, time to go. Oh, no, they're back. Encore number three. Here's the bad encore. You know, when they're fighting over the ship and, you know, Chewie gets fake killed. And then they're like, Rey, we got to go.

The other ships are coming. And then it just cuts. Ray, we got to go. The other ships are coming. And then it just cuts. Like they got away. Kylo Ren's standing right there. Why can't he just do the same thing and stop their ship from flying away? He says later, though, I let you go because I needed you to know that you could do it. And then he follows it. Very convenient.

That was my only point. I like this movie, but also fuck this movie. And I think that's my final stance. Yep. Yeah. We've done it. My final stance is it's entertaining. Babu Frick.

Billy Day. Every time I think I'm out, you just go and say Babu Frick and I'm back in. Woo! He loves it! Loves it! And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Sean. And I've been Tom.

And you can find all of us on How Good's Footy. Or if you hate sport, you can check out iKramps. Or if you like Sean and Tom and hate me, you should listen to Scaredy Boys. Both iKramps and Scaredy Boys are available on Sandspence Plus for $10 a month. Scaredy Boys is monthly. iKramps is fortnightly. It's all happening. Thank you for listening.

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tweet us at San Spence radio. Also Tom information. It's in the episode notes. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. Yeah.