Plumbing the Death Star - What Did We Think of X-Men: Apocalypse (Feat. Alli and Edgoose)

Episode Date: May 19, 2016

In which our heroes worship false gods, wear a lot of leather and hide their powers as they tell you what they thought of X-men: Apocalypse. We investigate if movie trilogies existed before the eighties, rock out to Metallica and wonder why people don't age. Zammit wants Magneto to go to jail, Duscher wants somebody to have an arc, Edgoose likes a bit of violence in his superhero movies and Alli just wishes she was dead. So join the gang as we talk about the time the Joels at too much food while Edgoose and Alli slummed it in Pleb Cinema. #LetMeDieWant to help us got to bed? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can finally rest.Come see D&D is for Nerds Live Dungeon Crawl on the 28th of May, you can book tickets here: https://www.trybooking.com/LKBEAnd don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stan Spencer Radio, it's a shame that the Silver Surfer was terrible in Fantastic Four 2 because he's kind of the coolest superhero. Hey everyone, and welcome to a midweek special edition of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions. Why did Zammett enjoy his drink into the microphone? And also, what did we think of X-Men Apocalypse? As you can see, I think we're all here. We're all very tired. Very tired, boys and girls. Ed Goose, though, had eight hours of sleep. He's fine.

So good. I got up like 20 minutes ago. It's great. Oh, my God. So let's see. We called it, my God. So, let's see. We called it. Aldusha called it. We're opening with Egypt.

I sure did. Oh, by the way, spoilers for X-Men Apocalypse. If anyone cares. Spoilers. Spoilers. Does anyone care? Who knows? Anyway, spoilers.

Okay. Loads of people care. You saw the line last night. Packed. Packed. I think there was maybe six people in our cinema. There was nine in ours. So how was pleb cinema, guys?

It was all right. It was working class. That's how it was. We got sliders, which I couldn't even eat them all. It was just like too much. I got, oh, the parmas were good. And then I got cheese. Chuck Tops, it was working class.

It's fine. So yeah, we got pork sliders, palma wraps. I got churros. Zamma got a cheese platter. I had a beer. You had a cider. I had humble beginnings, all right? We had a large Coke Zero each and a popcorn that we didn't even open.

We lived like kings. We sure did. You really embraced that. Oh, fuck. Those parmesan wraps are so fucking tasty. It was fine. Fuck, I want them to serve them everywhere. Yeah, they should.

I'll see what I can do. Thank you, man. Just put a request in for me. I have to admit, though, I think going to pleb cinema was better because if I had been in girl class, I would have fallen asleep. Oh, yeah.

Man, the amount of times I was moving that reclining seat, Ali, you would not believe. I was like stretching out, curling up, had my shoes off. It was good. Yeah, but I did maybe a little bit have a few moments where I was like, got to stay awake, got to stay awake, got to stay awake.

That's why I drank a large Coke and also ate so much that it just hurt to move. Yeah, that didn't help me. It didn't help me. Didn't help me. Doesn't matter. Fuck, the food was good. Anyway, what you were saying before. Spoilers to the episode, but this film doesn't really have any surprises.

So if you don't particularly mind about the movie, you can probably listen to this. Yeah, I'm trying to think like anything. There's no twist. There's no real big twist. There's a death or two, but they're not. It's just like classic X-Men fodder kind of death. Yeah. It's kind of Angel weirdly takes the place of Azrael from First Class.

Yeah, yeah. Who died in First Class? It wasn't Azrael. It was someone else, wasn't it? Darwin dies. Yeah, Darwin. Was he the only one? Was there a villain?

Oh, yeah. Sebastian Stan. Yeah. No, Sean. Sure. Sebastian, sure. Was he the only one? Was there a villain? Oh, yeah. Sebastian Stan. Yeah. No, Sean. Sure. Sebastian, sure. Sebastian Stan's an actor. Wait, which one's the actor?

Yeah. Was it like Riptide or something? No, he dies off camera. God, I forget. First class? Who dies in first class? Darwin dies as a hero, but it's only the villains. It's Oliver Platt dies, but he's not a mutant, so it doesn't matter.

I'm disappointed in first class Oliver Platt died, because I like Oliver Platt. I'm just... Liking Oliver Platt died, because I like Oliver Platt. Liking Oliver Platt is a tragedy. He's got a very likable face. He's a very likable man, but he doesn't turn up in good stuff enough. Not at all. There was a while he was. But when he does, it gives it to you.

Yeah, Sebastian. Sebastian, Sean. Yeah, Kevin Bacon dies in it. Another hero. I don't think so. But they kill off everybody else. I guess it goes. I think losing your legs is drama enough.

Angel then takes the place of maybe Toad in X-Men 1. Yeah. He's cannon fodder and dead. Angel doesn't die. Yeah. He's the only one that did. Oh, yeah, that's right. He landed the plane with his face.

That's right. Can I right deaths in this film were so muffled is the only way i can describe it they were the most unsentimental deaths like nobody cares which is kind of havoc also dies oh yeah shit i forgot wow forgot yes havoc dies dies But no one Like Scott's like My brother Four hours later That's where we got wrong guys We thought this movie

Was gonna be laughable Oh shit Not what this film Taught me Filmy Filmy Family Doesn't fucking matter

Family Could not give a shit Yeah Havoc dying You'll get over it Scott's sad about it But like Then he forgets Like within Almost but then he forgets almost instantly. Yeah, he forgets by the time he has to hide.

Like, that's it. It's weird that they don't even mention it. Like, the fact that he's just like, he should just be angry, I guess. Or like, upset, but he just isn't anything. Or maybe go through at least one of the stages of grief. Yeah. One of them. Well, he's angry at first, like straight off the bat.

For a few minutes. I thought he was going to do like the whole optic at first like straight off the bat for a few minutes I thought he was gonna do like the whole optic blast like yelling into the sky anything oh like Magneto does oh there was some good yelling into the sky

actually yeah that's it also another thing I called fucking brutal for an X-Men film yeah it's so violent yeah

it's not like I'd say it's like it's not Deadpool levels of violence obviously but Deadpool's violence is like cartoony this is like man gets his throat slit you see it and it's appropriate for the rating

they start really heavy on it everyone's getting crushed and folded up and they don't really let up that opening scene was sick the rest of the movie was less sick I really like the Egypt scene I really did That opening scene was sick. The rest of the movie was less sick. I really like the Egypt scene. I really did.

It explained Apocalypse and why. It was a really good explanation, which is sad because the rest of the movie explains fuck all. Although that said, I would have maybe liked a little bit more of Apocalypse. Like pre. Like pre, because we know, so he's called nseb nur and i called the clan akbar but they were like clan nseb nur um well you changed the name that's fine but in the original sorry in days we passed we got him building the pyramids right yeah and then we got this one has the pharaoh and all that kind of stuff yet he's like i've been called uh krishna yahweh set or whatever it was

was that in the film or was that just in the trailer no he says he says he says raw as well he says it it's when uh magneto is like who the fuck are you in a weird accent that isn't a magneto accent yeah yeah he's never really been able to keep a handle on that three films in he still can't really decide on one. Accents evolve all the time. It's what happens. But in his, it evolves over sentences. So it would have been nice to...

Also, I'm just thinking about the deaths again. It's fucked. A mother and daughter get impaled on one arrow. That was really tough for a PG-13 movie. I really liked it because you don't see that enough. You don't see children dying. No, you got to kill your kids.

Got to kill your kids. Like, they get, like, stuck together with an arrow. That's fucked. Oh, man. As soon as he's like, I'm Magneto and this is my wife and child. You're like, they're dead. Oh, look how dead they are. Look at them.

I've got some walking corpses over here. See, the movie hadn't fallen off the- Because it's weird because it's not good and it's definitely a mess. But I definitely liked it more than other films. Because there's lots of good parts. Last night going home, I think I didn't really like it that much. I think because I was also fucking so tired. So tired.

Hashtag let me die. But this morning waking up, I'm like, you know, it wasn't that bad. It's fine. It's a mess. It's a sort of a nothing movie. I kind of put it on the same par as Ant-Man. It's a good collection of good bits for like two hours. The reasoning for Magneto turning on, like siding with Apocalypse makes sense.

Apocalypse powering up the four horsemen. That's a good theory. Yeah, that was mine. Apocalypse fucking manipulating matter so that all the workers fell into the ground was fucking sick. Yeah, odd, but yeah. CGI was weird as fuck. The CGI was like on point at some places and not good there's the bit where jean gray's rebuilding the school that looked just shit the bit in the

shipyard oh that's my personal favorite bit of cgi in the entire film like it was just so bad some of the movie looks like it was in 2002 and some of put Psylocke's blade at time when she first puts it on. You're like, I don't think the depth is right. It's just, it doesn't look right. It looks like you opened up After Effects and just put a light source somewhere. And it's very strange. But then when it powers up, it gets better looking. It gets better, but not by much.

It's kind of like if, you know, Bryan Singer has sort of been like, hey, let's give this to the intern and the intern's like, is this good? You're like, yeah. I wonder if like the movie had a massive budget but like half the budget just went to legal fees. Maybe. Maybe.

There's also lots of scenes in it that just don't need to be in the movie. My goodness. Accurate. It felt like either a high budget student Well, there's also lots of scenes in it that just don't need to be in the movie. My goodness. Like accurate. It felt like either a high budget student film or a very low budget Hollywood film. I'm not quite sure. But it bounces up and down because like some of the apocalypse stuff, like with the pyramids be, you know, a really big climactic scene or at least sequence of, you know, the four horsemen kind of making Xavier doing shit for them. And they're just in a bunch of rocks.

Yeah. And you're like, wow, was set that like that cheap? You're like, we just need to find a bit of rocks. Yeah. I don't think that was a genuine bit of rocks. That was very fake. That was the fakest part. And also the last, like, the big fight on the soundstage. You're like, let's not include literally anybody else and, like, have a big city that's been destroyed,

which I guess makes sense in the narrative, but it was very... It just felt so cheap. I don't know why. It's very humdrum. Big third act apocalyptic event. It felt like... Which, you know, it's very appropriate for Ap apocalypse, but it's seen it so many times.

Yeah. It could have- This could have had like taken place on a stage. You know what I mean? Like a stage theater play. A theater stage. Yeah, absolutely. Because it was that pared back of it sort of-

It was- They were fighting in a city, but they were fighting in like one like little block of a city. They just kept it all within like a hundred meter radius that had been you know millions had died yeah none of them around i think x-men's problem is it's never tried to do anything on this scale before so brian singer whilst he was good at directing x-men films this sort of goes out of his comfort zone also oh man the fucking lifting up all the rockets yeah launching to the sky i'm like oh that's into that that's so cool that was we're gonna like launch up and then just fall down no no just that was such that was such a

bizarre thing because like this it was it was such an amazing way to cure mutually assured destruction like man if someone had thought of this beforehand but it just nothing happened no but the thing nothing happened oh the weird thing is because you don't include human because that builds up the fact that apocalypse is like now humans are defenseless but then humans aren't in the rest of the film yeah but it was weird because i thought like oh he's going to release all these things nah because it makes it makes sense because his theory is like it's like survival of the fittest it's like he's like taking away your slings taking away your stones, spears. Because he got fucked on by people with weapons

who were weaker than him that just worked together. I understand now. So it's just about like- It was fine. It made sense, but I would have been like, but you also want to destroy the world, so you could have done like, Pocky, do a twofer.

Come on, mate. You know, just whoop, boop, done. Got him. Got him good. No one's after you. At that point, you could have gotten real good. And also, I don You know, just done. Like got him, got him good. No one's after you at that point. You could have gotten real good. And also,

I don't know. And then it's kind of just jumping over the place, but the bit where he's like, but the bit where he's now, now plan is to just assimilate the body of Charles Xavier. Like that seemed very rushed. Like, Hey, Pocky,

just fine. This is Jean Grey. She's also a telepath. Also, you've probably got many telepaths. Yes, Xavier's the most powerful one, but you don't have to do it straight off the bat. You know, you just woke up. Have some time.

Well, I guess, yeah. I think that's probably the biggest problem with Apocalypse. It's too much for one movie, and because of that... It gets condensed too much. It means that, like, the first half is given heaps and heaps and heaps of breathing space. Yeah. Second half of the movie has none. Because like the first Avenger, like Captain America, the first one.

Yeah. It's very similar to that. And the first half of that film is very slow and very building. It's nice. And then the last half, they have all the action pieces and it just runs full steam ahead and it's total bullshit. No, that's one of the best Avengers movies. Nah, it's the worst one. Oh my god, it's really not.

It's probably top. It's definitely top five. It's just Indiana Jones and Superpowers. It's the best. It's sick. Anyway, shut your goddamn mouth. I'll beat you to death. It's just one of those a lot of the

motivations felt they could have been a bit more fleshed out in the first half. I get Mystique was rescuing mutants but then she's like, where do I go? I didn't give a fuck. Why don't you just send them to Xavier's? Just be like, send them to Xavier's. I know they're doing good.

It's not like a throwaway line to be like even though she's not attached to Xavier that she's still sending mutants who need help there would have been a little bit nicer to give because it's like why did you just save nightcrawler like because i'm assuming you're doing because you're like she saves angel as well but no no she doesn't she doesn't yeah she gets them both out she gets them both out but angel fucks off because she knows what's going on where nightcrawler's like I'm a kid Yeah true And then she mentions

Does Caliban mention that Nightcrawler the mercenary No she's Mystique the mercenary Caliban mentions that You were probably eating at the time That was so enwrapped No because her thing is just like She goes around just like

Liberating mutants. It would be nice to see more of that rather than just the one that we're seeing. Well, the thing is, like, that's another thing. At the start of the movie, like, you get apocalypse and then you don't come back to him for like 35, 40 minutes. Also, Moira McTaggart did not need to be in the movie. No. In fact, she made it worse. Made no sense.

Her sole purpose is to deliver exposition on apocalypse and you could have somebody else do that and also to let the light in she just didn't shut a blind that's her

that's what she added to this film any of that could happen you could have just had the bad guys doing that yeah

it makes more sense if the bad guys do it because you're telling me that they've unearthed this thing and not a single drop of sunlight has ever

hit that pyramid before yeah it can't be wrong just get rid of her it's no good so she was kind of a little bit also oh also i love the bit at the very end where it's where you know yeah xavier unboops her and he's got this big shitted in green on his face like oh i'm so sorry that i stole your memories and wiped your mind but it's fine now give me a kiss yeah and greary face like oh i'm so sorry that i stole your memories and grabbed your mind but it's fine now and then she's like oh it's fine you just took away my memories that's and she's like just gritting like fucking morons like fuck this film it's like we wrote charles because like when he's. Because when he first

meets Moira and he's having that real awkward flirt. Yeah. Painful to watch. Sounds like we talk about him. Good to see you again, Moira. I mean, for the first time, Moira. Moira. Nice to make out with you i mean me it's you boy

some some of that was very unnecessary yeah yeah uh you don't need oh you okay because there's too many storylines because you've got they made an apocalypse real big it looks so stupid everyone wanted him big that was kind of a dream sequence i'll give you that you said that dream sequence it kind of was kind of wasn't that dream sequence should have happened whilst like like you what you should have got with that was like i think it sort of happened like this but it wasn't quite as good like have everyone attacking his shield yeah and like they're just like, no,

he can't. And then Charles is like, I'm still connected. And then him jumping in. So you've got them like trying to weaken the shield. And also him trying to fight it in there. And then Jean Grey jump in as well. The Jean Grey entering the mind,

that would have been the perfect moment for them to get like the, like the real dumb garish, like Phoenix outfit. Cause like it's the 80s go for it man you got Sarlacc in this purple weird thing this is your time

to shine Cyclops' glasses were sick yeah they were pretty good yeah like they were Cyclops he probably looked the best

out of all the like new young mutants uh Nightcrawler was good yeah Nightcrawler yeah oh he had havoc why'd they kill him why

why'd they kill him no kill him that's fine but it wasn't necessary it wasn'tavoc. Why'd they kill him? Why? Why'd they kill him? No, kill him. That's fine. But it wasn't necessary. It wasn't because what they did is they brought him back. No, because. To get.

Let me finish. Okay. They brought him back so that they could get Scott in, which they really didn't need to do. They didn't. And then what they did is they killed him off so that Scott would have some sort of reason to fight. But he had so many other reasons to fight. He could have easily been there to protect his newfound friends that don't see him as a freak. That's true.

They could have sit just on the love interest of Sansa Stark. Yes, true. Or it could have been just, hey, this guy's going to fuck up the world. We all have powers. I guess we should use them. All of those things could have been used. You did not need to bring Alex Summers back. You didn't need to bring him back, you didn't need to kill him.

You could have brought him back, but he could have just left or something like that. Because Alex Summers in this movie should be about 35, 40. Yeah, he's not. And Cyclops talks about him after he's done. He was the one that could have made something of himself. He's like, he's 44 at least. The time for that man to make himself was gone.

The making should have already happened. The ages in the film are just brushed off. Like, Quicksilver makes reference to the fact that he's way too old to be living in his mother's basement now. He does look older, though. Everyone looks older, but not by much. Not by, like, 20 years from first class Because first class

Was in the 60s This is in the 80s It's the late It's 63 First class was 60 I think it's the Cuban Missile Crisis Which is 62 or 63

Yeah So it's 63 to 83 So it's literally 20 years 20 years Yeah So let's say How old was Havoc In first class 15 at the youngest Let's say, how old was Havoc in first class?

15 at the youngest. 15 at the youngest, because he's probably closer to like... Don't they find him in jail in that movie? No, he's in juvie though. Okay. I'm pretty sure he's under 18. He's under 18. So let's just say 17 at the oldest.

So again, he's like... 37. 37. So if he hasn't made something with himself, because he's not 12 And he's not 13 So he's somewhere between that 15 to 17 range Yeah yeah

But that bit in Cerebro where he's like He's like I can't talk I can't talk Alex wreak havoc That was sick That was great Like dumb but I loved it Yeah Big dumb moments always good

Yeah I think there was no real reason for him to maybe because I'm saying there's no reason to kill him off kill off your character don't give a shit but have some

I don't know emotional weight because also Mystique and Beast quite fond of Havoc I believe yeah he was the only one left

so like cause he was in he fought in Narm when all the mutant like went over Mystique saved her there saved him there so you'd think maybe she'd be like He was the only one left. So like... Because he fought in Nam when all the mutant... Yeah. Mystique saved him then. So you'd think maybe she'd be like...

Oh, that's sad. That's what I mean. Like, it's really... Also, they leave a bunch of students on the... This is a weird thing. Oh, they do too. You know when they leave a bunch of students knocked out on a lawn, right?

And they cut back to the same lawn and it almost is like the students haven't moved. They just got back up like, oh. And it's usually like, ah, the time jump is fine. I'm like, yeah, but it doesn't seem like a time jump because the weather's the same. It's a time jump, it's fine. It's just a weird jump

and it's just, I don't know, everything moves either too quick or too slow and it's just odd. An odd paced film. Yeah, it's really, because it's like two hours of recruitment and then 40 minutes of a very rushed finale yeah

and also like I'd like to point out this is the dumbest scene that's ever been put in cinema ever I'm so excited which one are you referring to

oh I know I'm so excited it's gonna be so Scott decides that he's like fuck this noise I'm seriously gonna be locked up in this house.

Oh, I know where this is going. Let's go to the mall. Oh, yeah. Let's go to the mall. I don't know where the mall is. Oh, we're going to show you the mall. It's our civic duty. Yeah.

Yep. That's pretty much the dialogue. That's stupid, but it's not. That's the setup. It's like it's in the 80s. You're America, American. You need to go to the mall. Anyway, then it cuts to in the middle of,

I can't remember what scene is sandwiched in between. They use it as a transition between Maybe it's just. Oh, it's between Quicksilver being like, I'm a bit sad and then the school blowing up maybe. Is it Quicksilver being like in playing

Pac-Man or Mrs. Pac-Man. That scene, then it being blown up because they're coming back. But everyone's in Cerebro, so it might be. Actually, it would cut back to Cerebro. Yeah. Quicksilver being sad. This scene that I'm about to explain, them in Cerebro. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Then you've got Quicksilver's. Yeah. Okay. So it cuts to them at the mall. So the scene Ali just explained is actually before this. So you get that. Then it cuts to Quicksilver's slow new sequel so it cuts to them at the mall so the scene Ali just explained is actually before this so you get that

then it cuts to Quicksilver then it cuts to them at the mall walking out of a cinema where it starts on just Return of the Jedi pans down

to the three characters talking about Return of the Jedi and they're like ugh Empire Strikes Back was the best one because it was so dark it wasn't scared of having a dark ending and everyone's likekes Back Was the best one Because it was so dark

It wasn't scared Of having a dark ending And everyone's like Yeah but without the first one It wouldn't exist And then One of the characters Jean Grey

Jean Grey says At least we can all agree That the third one's Always the worst Which is just like Either a fuck you At Ratna Or like

Fuck you audience For watching this film Which is the third In the series It was a very confusing attempt at comedy. Also, at that point in 83, what other trilogies are out there to have the argument that the third is the worst in... Had Godfather wrapped up by then? No, because 1990 was the last Godfather.

So, again, like in 83, and yes, you could argue this is a different timeline with mutants involved and blah blah blah so cinema might have been enhanced by like a special effects mutant wizard who knows maybe yeah in fact actually yeah what would star wars have been like in a world where mutants existed they would have changed that a lot they would have got like an actual eight like alien looking guy to play an alien looking guy. Mystique would be in such high demand in Hollywood. That's true. Yeah.

She can be everybody. You can't get George Clooney for your movie? Get her. She's fine. George Clooney like, fuck you. I'm suing you. No. No.

That's not you. Can't sue me because he can't find me. I don't think there's many trilogies The Good and the Bad and the Ugly trilogy Would have happened by then But that's not like a real trilogy But that's not an iconic thing That a mutant of the age of what

14, 15 would have seen? Yeah, probably not Because how old are they meant to be here? 14, 15, yeah? A bit older, maybe 16 No, I reckon 14, 15 They're pretty young Because they sort of downplay Scott

and Jean Grey's relationship. Scott's in high school still. Yeah. That was a nice scene in high school. Yeah, see, that's what I mean. He should have killed the guy he hit. I'm surprised that based on this film, I thought that kid was going to be dead

because they're not scared to just be like, let's just get brutal for a bit. I'm quite surprised that he isn't dead. Quicksilver scene in this movie is bullshit also. Oh, thank God. Yes. My God. What a waste of my time. Is this funny?

I laughed at the dog. I laughed at the dog as well. It's so fucking drawn out. Like for a movie that tries to jam pack so much in, why would you spend so much time doing the same fucking gag from Days of Future Past? Because it's on there's a dog. Much better.

Oh, I'm sorry. I retract everything. It sets up the point of, where's Havoc? I'm pretty sure I got everyone, which is a great line to be like, I think your brother's dead. Oh my god, the whole thing. He was close to the blast. That's it. That's it. A little bit of a squeal from Scott Summers and then it's fine. Atomosity between them being like,

Quicksilver being like, I got everyone. And it's like, where's Alex? And Quicksilver's like, I'm pretty sure I got everyone. But they don't do anything with it. I got everyone who mattered. Yeah, but it just doesn't do anything. There's like a funny line when they all wake up after they've been captured by Weapon X,

because they just appear. Department H, sorry. And they just appear. And they're just like, when Quicksilver wakes up and Beakster's all furry, he's like, ah, that could happen to me. And that was good. Also, I love that blue is a thing in Mutants.

I never really picked this up before, but if we go from the idea that everyone comes from Apocalypse, sort of being the common ancestor or whatever, and he's blue, and you have all these blue mutants. A lot of blue mutants. Because based on this one, Hank is blue because of Mystique. What? What? Hank McCoy is blue because of Mystique. In first class.

Yes. Because he uses his blood to make himself look normal and it goes wrong. And it's her blood and it's her cells that make him blue. And that's why he comes out and he doesn't just have, like, pretty much hands for feet anymore. He's big, blue, and furry. Oh, yeah. That was a weird moment in first class because you're like,

Hank, you can appear for a normal human person. Like, you just have big hands and feet. You don't need to hide who you all right sure hank but inject yourself he does though because it's because it's not like it's horrible enough that he can't live a normal life it's sort of implied that that is him stifling it a bit what do you mean like because in like because like in these movies you get him it's also a lot of mutants with being like we're suppressing our power so it just looked like normal people for most of the movie yeah and oh here's a heap of that i like that jennifer lawrence you don't want to wear makeup do you not yeah she said yeah because she almost dropped out between because uh for first class it

was just makeup so it was just like full body makeup yeah yeah like they did the old one um but she hated that she has a allergic reaction to it i think that's fair um so she had a suit in days of future past but i think she hated that as well because she wasn't going to come back and then she wasn't going to come back for this and now i think she's talking about being in a fourth this is her last one because she was contracted she's contracted for three so this was this is her last contracted one. But she does two transformations. Not including her going from whatever to blue. She does two transformations in the entire film. The first one is right.

It's actually on the same scene. The first one is where she goes in that big purple dress, which is bizarre because she goes with this big purple dress, big high heels, huge hair, whatever, into this fighting pit. Yeah, with the punks. Like underground fighting pit with all these punks. My boys. And then punches a guy and then gets changed,

but still like her face is still the same. So she doesn't really change that much at all, just her clothes. It's very weird because usually, yeah, Mystique doesn't, I mean she hates being Mystique and they make a point of that. Yeah. But she doesn't utilise any of that. In the story, it's because the blue mutant, her, her actual form is seen as a kind of a hero to the Resistance,

so maybe she wasn't wanting the attention. That is a weird point that happens. But she's still recognisable. Yeah. Because she never changes her form after that. She's still recognizable throughout the entire film i don't know it's just it's just really weird that this movie is made by the same people that made days of future past yeah a very well thought out very well structured

very well based film that handled more characters better because this movie spends too much time introducing us to characters that we already know. Yeah, absolutely. I think they should have maybe not introduced Scott and Jean. Yeah. There's no backstory for Jean Grey. There's no backstory for Nightcrawler. I don't know how they managed to waste so much time. They reference Nightcrawler's backstory with the circus, but that's it.

But I feel like their character development takes up most of the film, but they don't even really develop anything. No, Nightcrawler's backstory with the circus, but that's it. But I feel like their character development takes up most of the film, but they don't even really develop anything. No, Nightcrawler definitely doesn't. Did any of them have arcs? Did they start somewhere and they end somewhere else? There were some things that paid off. He was a kid and then suddenly a phoenix, that's it. There were some things that paid off,

like Mystique and Storm's relationship being the reason why Storm defected from the Four Horsemen. What? Yeah. Mystique and Storm? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're right. Sorry.

I was like, they didn't talk to each other. Yes, they did. No. No, they didn't talk to each other. No, Storm idolized Mystique. Yeah. That's why she defected. Speaking of that weird turn with Magneto, why the fuck didn't, like, I honestly thought

what was going to happen was that he was going to look at Pietro or Pietro's going to be like, don't worry, dad, or mention he was his dad, or at least Magneto pieces together so that when, uh, Apocalypse is like, yo, Psylocke, kill Pietro. That's when Magneto is like, nah, and stops it, like stops the blade in Tommy's, like, Pietro's neck to be just like, I watched one child die. I'm not going to watch another. And I'm like, there you go. There's some kind of, you know, parallels in La Familia.

La Familia doesn't fucking matter in this film. But as Ali said, La Familia does not give a shit about this film. It's like, hey, yo, Nightcrawler, I might might be your mom's but she's fine i don't think you're going down that don't worry about it hey dad lo it's me speedy boy your son no you're gonna tell him no no and then even the whole thing oh my goodness but because i thought they had completely bypassed nightcrawler mystique possibly related. But then with the interaction with Hank back in the mansion, I didn't see it as being like possibly my kid, like, you know, I was blue, you're blue, now the kid's blue.

But I think someone else. Yeah. That was me. I thought Hank was a little bit too, like, shocked that he was blue. Like, Mystique turned up at his door with a blue kid. No, it was just like, you have a kid. But then the kid was like, I'm blue. He's like, oh, you're not showing your true form.

This is the place where you can show your true form, but then he's not showing his either. I really liked... Like, that was weird, because they went down Nightcrawler being goofy, and then they just got rid of it. Because, like, that interruption, he's like, you're not blue.

And he's just like, I'm blue. Yeah. But then he does more goofy at the end where there's that really deep moment and then he's just like, oh, what did I miss? Yeah. He is that comic relief that's not very good. He could have been a bit more comic relief. He could have been that.

If they either go goofy or don't go goofy. Yeah. We had that good bit when he was counting on his fingers, the three. That was good. They want, wait. That was nice. I like that they made him very, because he's a very religious person in the comics.

He's like at one point becomes a priest. At one point there's like a nefarious plot to make him the Pope. Dumb! Chuck Austin! Why did you become a writer? Who knows? Anyway. But it was nice to include that kind of stuff

And cameo by our boy Logan I thought was really good That was one of the Yet another really good scene in the movie Two of my favourite scenes The Egyptian scene And the Logan cameo Logan's scene was really great right up until the end

Yeah Until the very end Where they were just like I set him free Yeah No that would have been better. Yeah, that would have been okay. Instead, she stumbled upon about a three paragraph moment

to be like, I gave him memories back when he was a different man and now... Whereas I think it would have been a bit... You said something last night. Her line should have been, I gave him a name. Yeah, something like that. And then he runs off naked into the woods. Or even just like, I gave him his name back. Yeah. like that And then he runs off Naked into the woods Or even just like

I gave him his name back Yeah And then he runs off Naked into the woods That was great That was good Another part So Quicksilver

Rescuing people Was kind of bullshit But him fighting Apocalypse Was cool Yeah And then Apocalypse Breaking his fucking leg Also cool

That was It was just so violent In some parts For no like even like the wolverine scene was fucked like yeah there was blood everywhere superhero movies usually don't do that m-rated films don't do that they're not allowed um the dream sequence where he's where um xavier's covered in blood like he's spitting blood when he's oh yeah they like squish his head a bit yeah that that feel that bit where he's like lying on the ground and apocalypse is like,

I'm going to win because I'm blue. I don't know. Yeah. And then, and then he's like, no, you're the one who like, I should feel sorry for.

I was like, oh, you've seen Harry Potter five. That's what's happened. It's just, what you've done is recreated the scene with Harry Potter and Voldemort. Yeah. Also,

I just like to point out that I have been on my phone for the last 15 minutes looking at film trilogies. There's nothing to suggest that they would know that Return of the Jedi follows a trend of the third movie being the worst movie. There's nothing. Good. It's just a dumb scene.

Is it a personal fuck you from Bryan Singer? Maybe. I'm glad I called him out at the start of this episode. Enjoy jail. personal fuck you from brian singer maybe yeah i'm glad i called him out at the start of this episode enjoy your jail yeah i'm that nc ellie is talking about the whole like i have friends friendship is so good it's like apocalypse could have been like that's why i have the horseman like yeah you know what i mean let's just like yeah i could set up like an awkward sitcom yeah like that's why i have the horse But and then Charles is like Just make reference to the fact that he pretty much

Like mind wiped them and then Cut to them slowly defecting from him Yeah Fuck this is now a movie maintenance Another line you can have You don't have friends you have followers It's a different thing Yeah that kind of thing

I'm a teacher You're a false god Or some bullshit Anything Anything They could have done A little bit more With Apocalypse I would have really loved

A scene in the start Showing him pre-Egyptian times Because as I think I said At the very start of the episode Harry was talking about Like they've called me Krishna and Yahweh Now my

World history Is not great But Yahweh is more Christian, yeah? Yahweh is Jew. Yeah, no, Yahweh is the Jewish name for God. So when did that come about? That was... Is that in the same time when he was... Oh, it's the old testament. Yeah.

Yeah, you're right about that. All right, all right. But like, and Krishna, because that's the Hindu. Yeah, same. Again, same timeline era? Well, the whole thing with religion in real life is that a lot of those God figures are all based off one another kind of thing. They all are around the same time.

I was like, they're all based off myths. Yeah, oh, sorry. Not me. But yeah, like, so like even like Jesus and stuff like that borrows heavily, like the story. So all the stories from a lot of different religions, like they borrow.

The old Testament is, is across three different religions. Yeah. Like it's all the same. It's just what you do after that. And whether or not you stop there or you take a different book. Different like. I don't know.

Caesar has a sick scene about this, but that's a movie no one's seen. So I'm going to stop talking about it. It would be nice to see him maybe a bit more through the ages. His horsemen were kind of cool. But yeah, the opening credits where it went through time was kind of cool. That was CGI, though.

It was bad, but who cares? I would have liked all the X-Men ones starting secrets of being famous for being very CGI. Like, it sets Apocalypse up good, but... Very Doctor Who, actually, when I watched that going through. Very Doctor Who. It could have just been like... The X-Men theme could start the same way as the Doctor Who theme.

Like the... Yeah. Yeah. Now that I think... Yeah, no. That scene was very... who theme like the didn't didn't yeah yeah yeah that scene yeah like if that whole go through the timeline didn't end with you know x-men apocalypse but like a blue portal and like a fucking box like yeah they got me good I thought this was an x-men film you sneaky singer sneaky also I was just reading some trivia

before we started really talking about this episode and like they said that this is like the natural progression the end of a trilogy between Charles and

Magneto's friendship like start off as friends then like fall out in the middle and then like they have like a proper clash and it's no they don't

no actually they spend most of the movie apart and then eventually when they're near each other Magneto's like i betrayed him so i guess i'm gonna go back like that yeah why did magneto turn like he had i might have been looking at my cheese platter at this time but why did he turn there was no real reason except for

the fact that oh no you had a bunch of dialogue with mystique i figured that was it no no i wasn't really listening weird like flashback of first class and how you get Charles and Magneto talking to Charles talking to Magneto being like I can see the true you

you're not actually a murderer which is hard to deny but he is you're a mass murderer he murdered so many people just in this movie alone that we saw

like at the end where he's in this really fancy black turtleneck thing and he's got this really nice suit and they're like oh goodbye old friend

haha don't worry chum off we go he's a murderer he killed like ten people with the law technically he would be

like a serial killer and easily the worst serial killer in the history of the universe we're like not even talking about first class and days of

but we're talking about just this movie just this movie just this movie he killed like 10 people with a locket cops cops with a locket

and then he went to like a steel mill and was like one of you cunts dobbed on me I'm gonna kill all of you but then he doesn't

kill them he didn't but he was gonna he sure was he killed a lot of people don't give him a happy ending he killed so many they should have But he was gonna. He sure was. He killed a lot of people. Don't give him a happy ending.

He killed so many. They should have killed off Magneto. Yeah. Okay. I wouldn't have cared. Also. Give him some comeuppance. Let's. Instead of like, oh, old chap.

Now you go. Yeah, no, kill him. Kill him. Yeah. Why? Have Apocalypse kill him. What a murderer. Because you can't. Yeah, he had no redemption from that. And then. him. Kill him. Why? Have Apocalypse kill him. You're a murderer. Because you can't...

Yeah, he had no redemption from that. And then, then kill him. Get Apocalypse to kill him. Then have the Quicksilver kicking the shit out of Apocalypse. Yeah. Nah, I think I prefer jail. I think Magneto should be... And that's where Magneto tends to spend a lot of his days.

Yep. Well, in the original trilogy, he's in a plastic jail. And I think that's good for his character to kind of show that he's a monster, but we're not. So we put him in jail. Yes. And that's the difference between us. Fuck.

Quicksilver kicking the shit out of Apocalypse is good. I can't stop thinking about it now. It was good, though. And he's like, whatever. Do you know what scene was good, but fucking just, I can't wait to hear what people have to say about this. The end credits scene. Oh, okay.

So as non-comic book readers, Ed Goose and Ali, what the fuck did that mean to you guys? I got no fucking clue. I got no, this is what keeps happening. I wait until the end of the credits, I get real sad because it's taking so long and I'm like, that helped me

nothing. There was no weird coloured Hulk to confuse people with. But yeah. What did you think? I have a fairly good knowledge of comics, but I had no clue as to what any of that meant. Because that was the thing, when you guys were in King Cinema and we were in Pleb Cinema,

as soon as this scene ended, I was banking on Goose to be like, how exciting that means xyz is happening and i just looked at him and he's like no i was like damn it we have to admit to zama we don't know what's going on the exact opposite the thing happened at the end of days of future past because the end credit scene of that is the lead into apocalypse yeah and i was flipping out because I was so happy. This is the opposite of that movie. There he is again. For those who don't know, it's like Essex Corp.

It's meant to be Nathaniel Essex, who is Mr. Sinister, who is a good villain to use. You wanted him yesterday. Then you got him and you weren't happy about it. The thing is, it's Sinister, who is a good villain to use. You wanted him yesterday. I wanted him. Yeah, I did. Then you got him and you weren't happy about it. The thing is, it's Essex Corp, which now is a different

thing, so who knows what it could be. I like Nathaniel Essex. I do. I think he's a really good villain and he's tied to Apocalypse really heavily in a lot of the books. That's not going to happen. And it would have been nice for him to be almost like the herald. Because I really think, I mean, yeah, you couldn't have,

with the apocalypse stinger of the last film of Daisy Bars, you probably couldn't not have apocalypse in this film. But it would have been nice to have Mr. Sinister as your main villain as the herald of apocalypse come, you know, and him kind of bringing apocalypse into this new world. Yeah. That would have been nice for another lead in. so we would have got maybe two films like the uh loki thanos connection sort of yeah do you know what's gonna be weird if old man logan takes place after this film rather than after the wolverine i'm almost positive that it will take place in this timeline because i I've got a Richard E. Grant, who's a very good actor,

a very established British actor. He's an unannounced role in the upcoming Wolverine film. So I reckon he'll be X-6. I'll go with that. Yeah. But, yeah, that's all well and good. That makes a lot of sense. Except for the fact Patrick Stewart is confirmed for the film as well.

Yeah, doesn't mean nothing. Actually, you know what? X-Men is just like, we're cast to work It's that character, fuck you Patrick Stewart is confirmed But not as Xavier He's playing Magneto He's playing Magneto from the future Having the actors means nothing

Because again Ideally, in a timeline You're still going to grow up to be older version of you no matter what timeline unless you get a wicked scar then it's going to be that older version with a wicked scar or a goatee unless it's this movie in which case no one ages and it's fine it's fine yeah no fuck this x-men universe is such a mess i love it because like think about like avengers like they cast john slattery as howard stark howard stark and then they cast dominic cooper and they do not look even remote

like oh boy i was trying to work out how old uh howard stark must have been at the time of his death he must have been in his 70s or 80s and he looks good. He looks really, really good. John Slattery is in amazing shape. How good was Civil War? Also, I killed my mum. Right? Fuck. All that heart. So good. All that heart. You know that from Winter Soldier. Someone tweeted

a saying, like they used the hashtag let me die to say that they thought that this film was better than Civil War. You can die. You're allowed to die. You have permission. That's a weird... No, I just can't see... I don't know.

I don't think this film is going to be as divisive as a BVS. No, I don't think it's going to be like... I don't think it's going to be as universally praised as a Civil War. But I think you are going to get people who are going to think this film is 10 out of 10. And you're going to get people who are like, it's a trash film. And mostly you're going to get people who are like, it was fine 10 and you know people it's a trash film and mostly getting people like it was fine i guess so it's a normal film this was where i stand like it was fine i guess yeah this was a thunderously average movie i think that's the problem with x-men films

are like even like days of future past and stuff like that like people didn't come out of that being like what the fuck that was sick everyone's just like i did yeah i did as well we did but like if you compare that reaction to even like thor 2 again for me just being like around people that are seeing it like everyone's comes out like oh my god this ties into that it was sick when loki was captain america he was like yeah justice and some bullshit after days of future past everyone's like hmm good yeah I don't know maybe it's I think it's ideal

with X-Men films when they're a recruitment film yeah they're kind of trash but when they're not a recruitment film they're fantastic first class

is sick but that's the thing it's like that's the only one because like X-Men 1 it's a recruitment film eh not the best

X-Men 2 not a recruitment film fucking the best X-3 which is a recruitment film kind of shit but x-men 2 not a recruitment film fucking the best x3 which is the recruitment film kind of shit but x-men first class first class we'll get to it but then um when you have a days of your past not a recruitment film don't understand why because days of future past first class was you know first class was all right first class wasn't singer it wasn't no it wasn't that

much of it was in a lot of ways but the recruitment was very small like it was a lot of very small scenes like getting um havoc out of a jail all right join the cause all right no problem go into a strip club yeah it was a montage you show me yours yeah that was that recruitment the um uh the shore side with you know emma frost and azrael and is that it just Riptide. So with them, they were already picked. They were picked and chosen. So you didn't even need their backstory. I guess First Class was a recruitment film in that there was

a montage recruitment film. That's what this film should have had. A couple of montages. Real simple done. Let's move on. I think you should have just focused on... Because you've got the recruitment of... Because there's two recruitments going on at the same time. Also, why have Jubilee in this?

Why? It's just because I think she's going to be... She's iconically... Oh, no, no, no. It's because they're setting her up to be... Because if they make the X-Force film,

which I think is greenlit... Jubilee shouldn't be in the X-Force film. X-Force... I'm going to switch to X-Force to go with... X-Force are going to go with an R-rated, aren't they? No.

Wolverine 3 is R-rated. I thought X-Force was also going to try for R and make it all green and shit like Unc thought X-Force was also going to try for R and make it all gritty and shit like Uncanny X-Force. X-Force is just chill times. No. You sure?

Yeah. Because I thought X-Force, because X-Force meant to be like more violent militant. They're also making a 90s X-Men film. They're making a new Mutants X-Men. Oh, that's what I'm confusing with. New Mutants is a chill time,

but X-Force is the militant led by cable guns and pouches time. Surely they'll tie X-Force into Deadpool. Yeah. Surely. Yeah. They'll have to. Yeah. So then oh fuck, this is just going to be when the Avengers films are all tied together nicely, X-Men films are just going to be

like, can you put these in order and someone will be like, no, no. And everyone will be like, yeah, good. Everyone will feel my pain. I don't know. Maybe because with X-Men, if you're an X-Men comics fan or comic book fan, you do know alternate reality bullshit pretty good. You're like, all right, I'll accept this.

It's a different timeline, sure. At the very start, just have a number. Just like 616. You're like, that's that universe. You fill a lot of your own blanks. I find that when I talk to people who do comic book research on X-Men, you fill a lot of your own blanks. Like, I find that when I talk to people who do comic book research on X-Men, you fill a lot of your own blanks. I'm like, what?

I mean, I love it. And I've watched these movies so many times, I still don't get it. You're like, oh, actually, X, Y, Z. So I think that X-Men is that real mix. Like, you can't just get on board because you won't get everything out of these movies unless you do read the comics. But then you get mad because you read the comics everything out of these movies unless you do read the comics, but then you get mad because you read the comics.

You know what they should have done? They should have meant that one of the events of Days of Future Past resulted in Apocalypse being revealed. Yeah, that would have been kind of cool. Because then it would be like, because people were like, if Apocalypse existed, then why? Because then it separates the timelines as well, and it means that by sending Logan back into the thing to stop

for what happened. One thing. Yeah. You then create another thing. Yeah. Because also, if you take this as something that happened, but then the future of Days to Pass, where it's all nice and pretty and like hologram alarm clocks,

clearly things turned out pretty good. Yeah. Hold on. Also, because they do, they use some of the Days of Future Past stuff to set up certain things, but it just doesn't tie into Apocalypse. Like, Storm being the mutant she is

is because of Days of Future Past. Yeah. Also, Angel getting out is because of Days of Future Past. For a second, hold on. At the end of Days of Future Past, Days of Future Past. Nah, never mind.

I just sold my own riddle. It's fine. Logan is alive. I was like, Logan's a teacher. But then I realized. That's in the future. Yeah, he actually goes back. Mystique turns into Stryker at the end of Days of Future Past.

But Stryker knew who Mystique was, so maybe they had a run in off film, off camera. I think Stryker was part of Trask, wasn't he? Yeah, Stryker was a big part of Days of Future Past. Yeah, yeah, but he was part of his organization. Yeah, I know, but then... He was a PMC. But like... Mystique takes on his form and they rescue or get...

Logan. Yeah. And then she's all like, do something. So I'm guessing, did she play a huge part in him being weapon-dexed? It doesn't make any sense and it annoys me. It's going to annoy me for the rest of my life. I'll be 85 years old, dribbling and drooling in a retirement home, being like

that's fucking bullshit. At the end of Days of Future Past, why did they CGI in those green eyes? It was fine. They could just leave it. Yeah, but why did Mystique have a strike for a bit? Doesn't make sense. It would have been fine if they, again, if it tied into this

film, but it didn't. Yeah. There was so many things they could have just taken from Days of Future Past that would have tied into this nicely. Like the fact, open with Egypt and then have like fucking sick times in the cave. Like have that scene exactly how it is. Then have something that happened in Days of Future Past result in like that happening. Because Moira unmasking, like she wasn't in that movie. Fuck her off

get rid of her cut her from the film you really could cut Rose Byrne from every film if you want I don't really care she's fine I liked her in Two Hands

that was good she's good in Bad Neighbors I haven't seen that one good right no she was completely unnecessary in this film but like

even have like I don't know fucking someone who's been like yeah yeah, Mystique, she's a hero on fucking Mask Apocalypse by mistake. So then that's why Mystique gets all weird about being a mutant. Yeah. Anything. Anything to tie those two a little bit more closer would have been nice. Yeah.

And then you also get why the timelines are different. Because your days of future past was good. into it lean into that good film and even you could have even done another like you know if you really wanted to like real ham up the time thing was like you could have bring back you know all the other the older actors and just be like we fucked up we fucked up we thought we thought we fixed it, but we didn't. We did bad. We did really bad. Days of Future Past 2, back in time again.

Yeah. Days of Future Past, oops. Yeah. Days of Future Past, past. Days of Future Past, but a bit more the future, but still the past. Oh, Bishop, right? I used Bishop in the first one. But, yeah, if I could use him again, because Bishop's a time traveler.

You could just use him again and have him actually go back in time to, like, this era. I know it's borrowing a lot from Age of Apocalypse, but you have him being like, we need to stop Apocalypse. And you kind of have a, less of a recruitment film and more of a driving force film. Because this is what happens in a lot of, when of a driving force film because this is what happens in a lot of um when it comes to bishop because bishop is from like the year 3000 or something

like that classic and he's very much part of the xavier security enforcers this kind of shit he's got big guns and sashes and the 90s was a good time the 90s also happened in the 3000s yes uh so you have that and you have him being a driving force of them because his whole thing was as a traitor in the midst one of the x-men will betray the x-men and kill you all and i'm here to stop that turns out he well he thought it was gam but secretly was xavier all um did he onslaught them good he onslaughted them good He onslaughted them good. They got onslaughted. So having something like that, because he played a very big role in the Age of Apocalypse storyline, where he's coming back from the original timeline and being like, well, this is fucked,

and having him kind of be like, you know, we thought we did good, but no, we fucked up. This is the turning point. This is where everything goes wrong. We need to stop Apocalypse. And they're like, I know what? And they're and then like oh you've got some learning up to do and then you can kind of do the exhibition bullshit that rose burn did yeah and then go for that might be and then you make it more of an action film that might be even more too convoluted that could be and also

like because they just did time travel to do it again yeah and but then like make fucking time travel like this thing of the x-Men universe And that's good You can't do that in two movies in a row That's the same thing Back to the Future did it three times in a row How do I feel about Back to the Future 2? Poorly We could have used the Doctor Who theme

It would have been fine Even fucking Bill and Ted didn't do time travel two times in a row They did have an excellent adventure. They had an excellent adventure, then they had a bogus journey because they fucking died. That movie's weird. That's pretty bogus. So, I don't know, maybe something

to have a bit more of a driving force of getting them all together and not making it such a recruitment film. I think the problem is like have the horsemen like start it with like Apocalypse coming back to her because you sort of need like start it with like Apocalypse coming back to cause you sort of

need to cut forward and Apocalypse is already like fucking I think Apocalypse learning also learning English

through television was a bit dumb cause it's just the internet thing that they do but they're like oh fuck it's the 80s internet is magic

he is pretty much the same villain as Ultron was in Age of Ultron right down to learning about the world and the plan for cleansing the world the whole evil plot is exactly the same villain as Ultron was in Age of Ultron, right down to learning about the world and the plan for cleansing the world. The whole evil plot is exactly the same.

It is just Age of Ultron. And that's a shame. That's sad. Yeah, that's real sad. Because I think if you open with Apocalypse, like have Apocalypse recruit Storm and recruit Mystique, but don't really show him with the other two. Because it just meant that there was a lot going on.

Also, because I want that man's face in the wall still because that was cool that was pretty damn good it's just violent the idea of apocalypse i like that he was you know the whole thing with the vessel and him changing his essence that's really cool that was like one of them from like the storyline of called the 12, I think. And it's kind of a cool, neat idea of how Apocalypse gains powers and how he becomes really very powerful. So which mutant in 3,000-odd BC had the ability to tap into a television and learn from it? Time travel.

It would just have to be he would have had to got like a rogue it would have to be it would just be a convoluted combination of like rogue absorbing powers and him fucking being able to manipulate matter and that somehow combining so that he can hook I'm on a limb. This is some bullshit you're making me swallow. But okay, I'm going to chow down.

I like that it had him getting someone that, because he was dying of old age, clearly. Yeah. And then him getting a mutant that regenerates was good. That was good. Also, again, violent. Just cut a man open. So many wounds.

There was many times where I did shield my eyes because it was gross. That's true, she did. She's a coward. I want to know, what's it do with Psylocke now? She just like scamp it off. She's mad. What happens with her?

That is the single character trait of a character in this movie. She's mad. She had a character trait? That's it. You called that early on. She barely spoke. That's true. She had a character. You called that early on. She barely spoke. At the start, I counted lines and I think I stopped at maybe five

lines, but we were near the end of the movie. But Angel had like a sick Metallica bit. That was nice. I love the whole fighting thing. I'd watch a movie about that, about mutants fighting each other in a cage. That scene, right? Angel is like like fucking fight or

they'll kill us both so you're like oh okay angel is you know kind of a good guy in a way not like a good it's like a forced good guy it's like i don't want to do this but we have to otherwise we're both gonna die yeah so fight me and then you have a chance instead of me just destroying you and and that mean like if we don't fight they're gonna kill us so he kind of was on the side of the angels and then he gets his wing burnt which is very cool i thought um how that happened a bit convoluted cool yeah uh and then he's just gone from that to being an angry metal head well i mean i kind of get it because he he when he gets damaged like he can't cure his wings yeah so he'll never be he'll never be human again, he can't cure his wings. Yeah. So he'll never be human again. Yeah.

He can't go back to the human world, but he also can't go back to the mutants because he's kind of, yeah. Plus then you get that sick body horror scene with all these rivers exploding at his back. Oh, that, my goodness, was buried behind my popcorn. It's really good, too. Again, we need to recruit the most powerful mutants we can and Salec's like

I know a guy he's got wings really that okay sure but then Apocalypse cracks the shits

because he's like this guy's fucking shithouse like there's pretty much she's like he used to be good let's go and then he's like

nah I see potential in him I don't know what I guess probably just anger whatever it might be though because he gives him extra power yeah he gives him the wings and the metal wing but no no but but afterwards after when uh magneto's having the discussion with charles just before they pop oh yeah he's giving him extra he gives him like the now i don't know if that's a bit more of that whole like brotherhood, these are markings, you're better than that.

Because they hide a lot. Like in Egypt, they're all hiding there. It's not until they get into the privacy of the pyramid that they take off all their headgear. So I'm not really sure. I presume that he's given him extra powers. So it's more like I see the potential in you. Yeah, we'll beef up your wings get an upgrade there but there's got to be more

that Angel offers than just that. Well in the comics he's a heely boy so he heals so maybe he's not dead If he is dead he has the dumbest death in the world. He dies from he crashes the aeroplane if only Angel could fly if only the soul

mutation the soul power of Angel allowed him to fly. And also Psylocke survives by sticking a sword into a building. That's pretty good. Oh, yeah, that is really good. Also, I like yours is sarcastic. Yours is genuine. Ellie's on Team Psylocke, yeah. There's just one goof listed on the IMDB page, and it's wrong.

So that's pretty funny. When Apocalypse traps Quicksilver's foot it's wrong, so that's pretty funny. When Apocalypse traps Quicksilver's foot in the earth, he traps his left foot. Yet when they're rebuilding the mansion later, you see Quicksilver's with a castle in his right leg. Maybe because Apocalypse also breaks his right leg. I mean, it could be that guy that posted that thing.

I usually just put a castle. Oh, my foot's dirty. Better chuck a castle in it. Don't worry about this broken one. Yeah, it's sorted. There's just so many weird things you kind of think when he recruits, like Apocalypse when he recruits. to chuck a castle at. Don't worry about this broken one. Yeah. It's sorted. I just... There's so many weird things you kind of think when he recruits,

like Apocalypse, when he recruits Magneto. You're like, do you need the other three? Just saying. You're kind of done. Keep storm, I reckon. Fuck the other two off.

Betray them. Get fucking... Get Magneto to kill them. Prove his allegiance. Yeah, and that's another kind of thing with um apocalypse you could have had him being survived the fittest and what he sometimes does do is he pits people against each other to become the new horseman wow who was going to become the new well because that's what i thought he was doing i thought he was gene he because you

know all is revealed be much better death for Angel if he was fighting Magneto and Magneto's like alright no wings for you that would be sick fuck that would've been cool

but sick and then we could've gotten like yeah oh cause it comes out from his ribs and everything we need a new

horseman Xavier and that's why they're hunting for Xavier but then he wants to be Xavier and he just there's some interesting threads you could've pulled And that's why they're hunting for Xavier But then he wants to be Xavier

There's some interesting threads you could have pulled Like angel's wings I'm sad because I came into this episode Being like it's not trash It's okay but there's just Now that I think about it There's a lot of wasted potential I don't think I'd call it trash

It's junk It's more useful than trash It's junk It's a junk film and i would put it around about a five out of ten yeah that's what was my original score um i think the only thing that's sort of giving me hope about this is it it sort of shit the bed on this storyline but it had lots of character building which means that the next film could be good that's true and i and i can't quite place where the moment of you know you know bruce wayne floating in the well

was like there was no no like, I'm out moment. It was all just very much like, really? Okay. That scene about the film, like, I was just like, that's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen. But then they just changed the thing. I was like, yeah, whatever. More would have been nice.

Because there was, like, a leaked photo of them looking in albums and having a Dazzler cameo. Yeah. But that wasn't in the... Didn't happen, no. Like, they didn't even really show much of them all I thought that would have been a nice

a better scene to keep than fucking Return of the Jedi being like fuck you yeah true so yeah

I still have this standby 5 out of 10 a film to watch but I liked it but I was never going in I was very excited

for that film I crashed very hard at the end I came out I cried I was so tired that's not a thing crashed very hard at the end. I came out. I cried. I was so tired. That's not a thing normal people do, Ali. No.

I wonder if there's going to be a road cut for this one. It feels like there would be. The thing is, it's got like Phantom Menace syndrome a bit, too, where it's just constantly cutting between things. You're meant to be feeling different things the whole time. Yeah. No, look, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the movie.

I didn't enjoy Midnight Screaming No one does, Ali I know, hashtag let me die I never thought that I would be that much converted to your idea than let me die Yeah, it's a solid hashtag You know, for an X-Men film, I really liked it Out of ten?

I'd probably give it at least a six Tell me what you think, Tom I'd probably give it at least a six. Tell me what you think, Tom. All right. Also, full disclaimer, Ali loves Terminator Genisys. I love Terminator so much. I love it so much. I'd give it a six out of ten. As a film, six out of ten.

But it's not Terminator Genisys. So this is worse than Terminator Genisys it's not so this is worse than Terminator Genisys but hold yeah okay cool that's all we need for your review

at most I'll give it a 6 out of 10 I'm giving it a generous 6 so 3 out of 5 stars I feel comfortable so that means

our average score is 5.5 out of 10. That feels good. Let us know what you guys think of this amazing film. Tweet us. At SensePantsRadio or I'm at GodDammitZammit. I'm at Douche13.

I'm at TomEdgoose. I'm at EllieKathleen21. And yeah, use the hashtag LetMeDie if you go and see the film, especially if it's a midnight screening. Yeah. Oh boy. You are in for a treat. Not as the film, especially if it's a midnight screening. Yeah. Oh, boy. You are in for a treat. Not as much as BVS, but a treat nonetheless.

Yeah, I'd see this again. It's not as boring as BVS. I wouldn't see this again. I wouldn't. Ever? I would. No, I would like to because I feel like some bits I might have missed when I may have watched it.

When this comes on Netflix, I'm on it. Maybe on DVD when there's, like, a director's cut, but I don't think I'd see this one again Anyway I just realised that I told people To tweet us at the end of an episode where we spoil the whole movie To let me know they're seeing the movie Probably don't listen to this If you've got this far sorry

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