Plumbing the Death Star - What did you think of the Force Awakens (SPOILERS)

Episode Date: December 16, 2015

In which our heroes stay up late, go to the cinema, come home and record a late night episode asking what did we think of The Force Awakens? It's a bloody late night as the boys explore SPOILER, take a deep look at SPOILER and reveal their feelings about SPOILER. Jackson almost has an actual heart attack, Zammit wishes he was asleep and Duscher just needs to steal an energy drink from the fridge. It's a positive time because we're all just glad it wasn't The Phantom Menace. Yeah good. Oh god I'm so tired.If you want to help the Plumbing Boys go to sleep? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can provide them with sweet relief.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least a number of things about that. Words don't work. It's bloody 5am, get off my case. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sam Smith's Radio, Joel Doucher on the case. Welcome to a very special late night edition of Plumbing the Death Star. Or early morning. Or early morning. Plumbing the Death Star up late. Plumbing the Death Star, you should be in bed. Well, we ask the important questions like, what did we think of The Force Awakens? Spoilers, so many spoilers.

Like, if you haven't seen The Force Awakens, stop listening. I'm just going to keep saying spoilers for a bit just in case you stop listening for a second. Because literally the first thing that we're going to say when the episode properly starts is going to be a spoiler. So we're giving you five, four, three, two. Kylo Ren is Han Solo's son also Han gets fucking run in Han dies like a dickhead. Everyone gets fucking stabbed.

There's no cutting with lightsabers in this film. It's all just fucking stabs. And that's good because no one knows how to use a lightsaber. That's true. And they shouldn't because they're not Jedi. Yeah, that's true. Also, what's another? I almost said Wren.

Rey? Rey. Rey is force sensitive and she wields a lightsaber, and that's sick. All right. Let's just, because at the moment, there's literally no structure to this. Let's start somewhere. The end. What was your favorite thing about The Force Awakens?

I think I liked the music the most. Like how you asked me, and it's answers straight away. No, I asked so I could answer. Okay. You liked the music? I think, like, it was great. It was bloody good. the most. Like he asked me and it's No, I asked so I could answer. You like the music? I think, like, it was great. It was bloody good. But like, whatever. The story's the story.

You kind of know what it's going to be. It's kind of like, oh yeah, yeah, mate. Actually, let's do the movie maintenance thing that people don't like us doing. But this is probably the Death Star, so I'm assuming everyone loves it. How did you feel about the movie? It was pretty good. I had a good time.

Yeah. I think it actually felt like a Star Wars film compared to the prequels. Compared to the prequels it did, but for me, very occasionally felt heaps like a Marvel Cinematic Universe film. Really? Yep. I'll make that claim. That film was like World War Quips.

The amount of fucking quips in Star Wars. And they were funny. But they were coming thick and fast. I re-watched the original trilogy just before watching this. And to me,

this was just A New Hope 2.0. Like, same beats. It's beat for beat. And there's a lot of quips in the original trilogy. Yeah, there's nowhere near as many as this, though.

This was like quip after quip. Every scene had a moment of comedy in it. The only difference. The only one that didn't was Han getting stabbed. Every other scene would have like a, or every other sequence would have like a little, lol, lol. Even like the bad guys had these like,

lol moments. And that's fine. Oh, yeah. But I'm like, that's such a Marvel Cinematic Universe thing to do. I don't know what you're saying. Maybe it's just a modern film. I kind of, I hear what you're saying, but I disagree with you. No, that's fine. Oh, yeah. But I'm like, that's such a Marvel Cinematic Universe thing to do. And I think maybe it's just a modern film. I kind of hear what you're saying.

I disagree with you. Yeah. Like, I think it was, the quips were nice. To me, it made it feel a lot more human. Yeah. It made like, to me, it made it feel a lot more like, yeah, I understand this. It's kind of, Finn felt kind of like a character that I can relate to. Because he's kind of just

almost like no i just want to run away fuck this this is too real and like stormtroopers being like i just don't want to deal with that i'm walking this way that to me was very nice i guess but i think that's not for me anyway and again i'm not a huge stylist fan i don't fucking know what i'm saying but like the original trilogy doesn't seem like it had that element of humanness so I think it made for a different film nah I think the difference

and the reason that it's done this is because in the original trilogy you've just got Luke and Han and Leia and they all know what being a person is

where Finn doesn't really yeah but like he's not the only one making quips everyone makes quips fucking Kylo Ren makes quips it's quip city

everyone's doing some quips. But, like, having said that, it was still great. Like, it's just very quipful. I liked characters that actually had chemistry with each other. That was nice. All of them. Like, all of them. Everyone just had on-screen presence.

And everyone was, like, actually, like, yeah, we're reacting to you acting. And we're kind of. Except. Yes. Again, maybe I'm just a negative Motherfucker Han and Leia I felt that was really Stilted, I don't know

I felt that was kind of like, we've been through some shit And this is like seeing an ex And I don't really want to And that was awkward It was meant to be awkward It didn't feel awkward Were you asleep in this part of the movie? Because you were definitely asleep for a bit of it i was asleep i fell asleep twice

almost shit yourself almost him i needed to shit at the start but then was i was too tired to get up and i also knew that if i got up everybody around me was going to be like who the fuck's this guy getting up during stalls so i just waited it out no i don't know shit yet have you no we like shit who knows i don't know. You haven't shit yet, have you? No. We like shit. Who knows? I don't know. Yeah, like everyone else, amazing chemistry. Like it was like fucking, like Rey and Finn, holy shit.

You were like Finn and Poe. Yeah. Even like Finn and Han and Han and Rey. So good. Quick side note, Poe Dameron, sick as cotton in Star Wars. Best character in the entire series. He was bloody rip off. Fucking Oscar Isaac, give him an Oscar. Damn right. But I don't know. Han and Leia

just felt kind of like they never got a chance to actually have chemistry and then Han fucking cocks it. If you want Leia and Han chemistry... The original trilogy is there for you. Let's just do that again. No, just kidding. I'm glad they didn't do it again. Although Han Solo

is just Ben Kenobi and yeah then luke is yoda and fucking fear well ray is luke but also a bit han but mostly luke and something i really like is that it actually doesn't kind of go one-to-one you know what i mean yeah except for han solo and luke skywalker who Ben and Yoda. Yeah, but also like... How do we feel about the name Ben Solo, by the way? I love it. That's Kylo Ren's real name. If you're this far into the podcast, Jesus Christ, you should know that. If you're still listening, stop writing that angry email.

Yeah. You should just cut him. Nothing. We got a message from Molly, whose house we're recording in currently because she heard us talking about Jackson shitting. She messaged me saying if you run out of toilet paper, it's in the bottom of the pantry. That's one for you, Jackson Haley.

It's good to know. That's useful for this boy. When you shit later. When later on I take my victory shit, I know where the toilet paper is. Good. Yeah, so I like Ben Solo. Let's go with things you didn't like. I've just been saying things I didn't like.

So you didn't like the chemistry between Han and Leia. Han and Leia felt really fake, and I hated the amount of quips. I, again, disagree with both of those, but that's just me. I didn't care for Captain Phantasmo or Phantasma. She will surely have to come back. Of course she is. I mean, it's already been said, but I just did not care. Well, I think the thing is she's not a character yet.

Exactly. Yeah, she was just like an authority figure, and you're like, okay. I think you probably didn't need, I think The Force Awakens, they were trying to establish her, because I feel like she'll probably play a part in the next two films the force is awake the force goes back to bed yeah yeah that's revealed force good night force uh yeah for those who didn't stay for the end of the credits they were revealed at the end which is that was nice jj was like no end credit sequence and he was right but they did reveal

the next two titles yeah now I think what they did is in this film like because they had General Hux being a sitcom having a bit of a yell

which one was Hux? he was Domhnall Gleeson oh okay yeah cool the red headed leader of the dudes the one that was always

being like Kylo Ren fucking stop forcing cunts and start fucking doing your job mate fancy boys

everyone is fancy let's talk about just how the villains are just talk about pots I didn't like you start this show

by being like we have no structure we start doing a structure and then you're like no don't want that I got a new idea I'm so sleepy go on he mentioned fancy boys and I want to talk about fancy boys we'll talk about fancy boys later but we'll shell fancy boys You start doing a structure and then you're like, no, don't want that either. Like I got a new idea. I'm so sleepy. Go on.

He mentioned Fancy Boys and I want to talk about Fancy Boys. We'll talk about Fancy Boys later. But we'll shelve Fancy Boys and go, yes. Unless you didn't like Fancy Boys. No, I loved Fancy Boys. Although that's the opposite. Exactly. What didn't you like? I didn't like that it was a little too similar to A New Hope.

I don't think that we needed to blow up that planet. Although I did like that it turned into a sun. Yeah, and I liked that it was called Starkiller Base because it actually killed stars. I'm like, that's clever because it sucked the sun's energy too. I did like how, oh, light and dark. Oh, symbolism.

The thing I hated the most was the first line of the film. Which one was, oh, yeah. It's, and I don't know if everyone notices, but the first line of the film is, we need to make things right, or something along, I can't remember exactly the wording, but line of the film is, we need to make things right. Or something along, I can't remember exactly the wording, but it's pretty much like, we need to make things right. And it's like, hey.

Remember how the prequels were bad? Yeah, the prequels were bad. Oh, yeah. And despite everything we're shitting all over this film, well, we're not really shitting all over it. We're kind of farting in its general direction. At worst. Jackson, little poops, but he missed.

It is significantly better than any of the prequel films. It's fantastic. It's a blast. It might be better than Return of the Jedi. I watched Return of the Jedi today. I'll pay that. It's not just a good Star Wars film. I will put forward it's a good film.

Yeah, I think that's fair. Do you reckon you could watch... I know it's pretty much kind of impossible to judge this but do you think that it would be possible to enjoy the force awakens if you have not seen any other six films

I'm trying to think about it because all the good because like I've got a terrible memory and I haven't seen the original trilogy in a while

no but even shit like seeing the destroyed star destroyer and like all of that shit like that's just like so nice because you're like hey cool yeah i guess it doesn't really particularly makes i mean like that's world building if you don't know this yeah again if you don't know the film it is again as duchess said world building because like you see this crashed ship it's a crashed ship but then as

the opening shot is this giant the same like a giant ship as well so it's really good to kind of be like yeah there was a battle here who cares it was happened how something happened there good han and leia is probably the only thing because they they don't explain it they're not like they're just sort of like they have a history actually no that's probably okay i think han just han solo himself because if you'd never seen them and he died you'd be like so well it's more just like the introduction you get and they're like everyone's like hey you're the hero you're the general so you could you could watch this without it wouldn't be it'd be a weird move like they're not hiding it they're not like star wars one the force awakens they're like this is

episode seven you know it'd be funny if they called it episode four that would have been the best i did like the the again, very similar to A New Hope. Like, oh yes, we fought in the Clone Wars. It was like, have you heard of the whatever massacre? Like, no, good. That was nice. You know, when they're talking about that weird spinny ball of death. That was a weird segment.

That got a, actually, maybe that's something I didn't like. It got a little too Star Trek rebooty. And that is just J.J. Abrams. J.J. Abrams but yeah like that scene in particular where there's those like squid we've never seen aliens attack well aliens look like that in Star Wars so we've never seen them attack like that

like you get rancors but it's mostly people beat people Jankos or some shit Jathmores or something Jathars Jafar but they just like roll around or some shit Jaff Mors or something Jaffars I don't fucking know Jaffar Jaffar Mustafa

but they just like rolled around and that whole scene felt really kind of like I liked it but it did feel very Star Wars Star Trek reboot-y

now that you mention it I think the I would just say cut that scene but no because you get like Finn and Rey having a fucking

quip off underneath yeah I like their interaction. No, they're good. I hope they don't bang, but I reckon they will. No, I hope they don't. Same with like, I just want them to be just good bros. Same with like Poe and Finn when he's like, oh my God, you didn't die.

And he's like, oh my God, you didn't die. He's like, yeah, the guy. Did they explain that or was I asleep? No, they didn't. But he just got off tat. To be fair, like. It's just like It's a big desert They landed in

Yeah it doesn't really matter Because like Poe knew about Would have known about Because he was on Jakku Jakku Yeah Jakku for a bit

So he would have known About like the sinky ship Yeah It just seemed like Because it was like Such a big expansive desert That like the moment You got up

And had a look around You'd be like There he is Even though he's miles away I can see him But like anyway I just wondered if he did No I think it was like such a big expansive desert that like the moment you got up and had a look around you'd be like, there he is, even though he's miles away but like anyway, I just wondered if he did nah, I think it was kind of just like just like a hand wave, a signal to be like, hey, resistance, pick me up and or it could have just been the fact that

fucking Finn landed a bit further away so by the time he got to the TIE fighter like Poe could have followed exactly the same route fucking Finn did but just did it like 10 minutes beforehand hell even like a day depending on how long Finn was unconscious if it's a day Finn's brain is

far fried something I didn't like is it felt like to me that there are a lot of and I guess maybe it's kind of part of my quip problem it's not like I have the problem but like I didn't like when they're's not like i have the problem um but like i didn't like when they're like oh like here's the new planet and then hans solo's like oh it's like

another death star you were like you don't you don't need that that's kind of like when you're that's more addressing the fact they're like yeah but you don't like it's such a it's kind of like in the avengers 2 age of ultron when don't talk about that because it's trash by the way if you're listening to this and you like Avengers 2 fuck you don't unsubscribe just download our episodes just don't listen to them keep donating to our Patreon it's like when Hawkeye is like lol

I'm just a man we're fighting aliens you don't point out the prep I don't know it's kind of like what's the point it's like just because you... No, but that's the thing. It's like, just because you point out the stupid thing doesn't make it stupid. Like, it's not stupid, sorry.

Maybe that's a bad example of it. But I just don't think it's like... And then unnecessary... It's like you're lifting the veil. You don't lift the veil. But these are people in a fort in this war. Yeah, but then you wouldn't make a quip about the Death Star. You'd be like that was fucked

Which you kind of didn't They did It was a whole quip This was the fucking Death Star This is what it looks like There's always a weak point That was the quip Don't do that

That's stupid I hate it I didn't like it I'm digging my heels 3 out of 5 3 out of 10 Don't do that. That's stupid. No, I hate it. I didn't like it. I hate this whole film. I'm digging my heels. Three out of five. Three out of five. Three out of ten.

I love the design of everything. Like, oh, that was so good. Everything looked practical, which the prequels just shat on that idea. They were like, what if this spaceship is like three yellow bananas? You know that one? You know the one I mean?

We know. Yeah, all the spaceships that look sick um bb8 was sick the illest yeah some reason like i did not like the r2 details in the film like when it came on i groaned i was like i don't know why yeah i called you out and i was like why i was like c3PO is the worst reading no I hated both of them I didn't like having R2 in there either I felt he again was like a have him there at the start or don't be like hey R2's just like

goffined up I know I prefer that oh no I didn't like the eternal at the end but it's clearly just a plot device to set up the fucking second I did like the droids fucking that was nice like yeah put your put your map in my map vagina and it was like the rest of the map and then just like slotted into each other it was great because he has a sex drive that is way too intense fun fact for our listeners i was like hey imagine

if your dick broke and that was like i'd kill myself and i was like that's too extreme like no that's all i have that was the the Robocop episode that was on mic yeah that stresses me out yeah I like I love the design of like Jakku like I loved that

it was just like this tiny shit hole I was really worried about Jakku in the trailers because I was like they're just doing fucking Tatooine again

but it looked a lot different from Tatooine it was so oh and Rey was looking at the fucking starship the spaceship

just like leaving Jakku and being like, it was very reminiscent of just Luke looking up in the sky and being like, I want to leave this fucking shit planet. It was great. Yeah, I liked that a lot. Yeah. I liked, this is welcome to our world famous segment of bits we liked. Yeah, bits we liked.

Actually, no, our segment's usually bits we hated. Yeah, I know. We did, but we did bits We did bits. Oh man fucking Finn just stabbed a cunt with the saber Oh, that was sound good Back to the start of like no one knows how to use a lightsaber And it's I loved it I really like the color ran every time he cracks the shits just lightsabers the fuck out of Hannah

Tyler ran is a child and a fancy boy fancy boy Guys the first order is just like wall-to-wall fancy boys. They all look like they've just graduated from a British boarding school. Yes, boarding prep school. Yeah, they've all got like the fucking trashed little greasy hair. And they're like, oh, no. I need to inform you that this has happened. I'm just so fancy.

Would you like to go and play fucking billions? He's like king of the fancy And play Fucking billions He's like King of the fancy boys Fucking Adam Driver's The best He looks so fancy With his fancy boy hair Like

It's like Like Why I hope they explain it At some point They're just like We just like fancy boys In our army

Well no It sort of makes sense Because it's sort of Like What they're going for And you both pointed this out In the film First order's meant to be

fucking like it's nazis yeah oh yeah by the way if if anyone like saw this and we're like oh oh oh they're just going for not yeah they're going for nazis yeah domo gleason does a good speech in front of banners everyone raises their arms it's like no no it's all not speak about the republic being just the senate whatever... So they got this... The new Death Star, what? Just blow... The Star Killer base. Star Killer.

Fucking... You don't have to be in orbit or near a planet to shoot shit down. It blows up an entire system. Blows up an entire system. Like five fucking planets. Except for the planet that all the main characters are on. I think that was just far away. I don't know.

Hey. No, whatever. It's far away. I don't know. Hey. No, whatever. It's a movie. This is shit. It was good. Good shit. Someone, sorry, I just got a notification

that one of my, a guy tweeted was like, a guy I tweeted. I didn't tweet him. Fuck you. Whatever. He seems like the only person in Melbourne feeling underwhelmed.

Yeah, all right. Shut up. Better than, how can I, okay, that's the thing. If you're sitting there being like, fuck this movie, I don't understand why

because I feel like that even if you didn't like the story, it hits enough of the right beats that... I think even if you didn't like the story, like visually, the design... The acting, like all of that... Oscar Isaac has a scene with Adam Driver and that's all you need in any movie.

Exactly. That fills out the rest of the hassles. I had my problems with it, but they're so minimal and trash and to the side. For the most part, I was just having a blast. It's not a 10 out of 10 film, but it's at least a 7 or an 8. I think an 8.

I'd say it's an 8 out of 10. I'd call it a... I don't know i think like nine nine nine out of ten this is a great film like i i really enjoyed it um and i think i would happily watch it again i don't think i think if this is gonna be a film that i watched 800 times because i really like star wars uh i got very excited points no one cried nobody cried Apparently I let out a really girly giggle You did You both were laughing at all the jokes Even the little trash goofy jokes

You both would have your chuckles We were like okay we'll be quiet And I'm like okay I'm quiet And everything that happens Zammett says a thing And nobody listens And then it happens again Zammett's like haha this And we're like yeah And you're like anyway

So good Poe Dameron I love him so much Poe Dameron was pretty good And then it happens again And we're like yeah And you're like anyway Dusha's letting out all these giggles It was crazy So good Poe Dameron I love him so much Poe Dameron was pretty good Poe Dameron Yeah

Is he in any of the Because like you know I don't know Is he in the other films at all Poe Dameron Yeah No Okay

For some reason I thought he was I don't know No no no He's too young Yeah I know That's what I was thinking There's a right amount of References and connections

To the first trilogy It was a little bit too much. Like just like a smidgen. Like just like one point too much. No, no. Because you got Ben Solo. And that was all the connections. Like all the three main characters.

And you had like who's the son of who, who's the daughter of who. It was like, no, it was just one. And that was fucking... They didn't even bury the lead. Almost in like the second scene, you're like, hey, yeah. Oh, they don't make a big deal out of it your father it's good

I loved it there was no real twist actually no connections you're at references I guess what I was meaning no because I don't think they do a lot of things

where they could have just referenced the original trilogy and then don't like when they go to that planet and Han Solo's like I've got an old friend that could have easily

been fucking Lando actually that would be the best L could have easily been fucking Lando yeah actually that would be the best Lando with fucking weird goggles Lando being like

yeah I got looks like cyber and they're like why he's like I don't know I was in class I just flew down I was there

also that's pretty funny like how did you get that and they're just like it's a story for another day don't even stress that there you go you know I'm talking about quips

I'm talking about scenes being comedic and when it shouldn't be fucking Rey using the Jedi mind trick for the first time started off as a comedic scene and I was like why? No, but that's not that's only funny to us because we're expecting it to work and it doesn't. Yeah, but that's a joke. In the context but in that

because you're being like, no one would fucking do that in real life. She's not doing it cause she's entertained I know but the thing is in that part he's like shut the fuck up or I'm going to kill you and then she tries it again and it works but like as a writer you're writing that scene as comedic and I'm like why

what do you get out of that extra entertainment for the audience no you don't need it what tone do you want it to be she tries to use the fourth it fails and he fucking slaps her around a little

no it just doesn't have to have like the pacing and comedic timing of like a comedian what do you mean it's it's it's it's happened three I'm not a filmmaker

it's happened it's it's classic that writing you know once twice three times exactly like a joke and not yeah it comes in threes but also in time

in terms of everything comes in threes like a fucking Batman goddamn Dark Knight Rises climbs up that stupid fucking hole like he gets the rope he falls gets the rope he falls so if he doesn't like gravitas but it's three things yeah no but it's given a sense of gravity that the force he wasn't given no gravity for that scene shut up i don't care Your comments don't make sense to me And it's tired

I'm tired and fuck your bullshit I like the force That's right I really liked how Rey it's just like chaotic Force use because she's not trained But we see The other things It gets around the fucking midichlorians bullshit as well

Because they're just like She's showing signs of the force. Good. And it makes sense that it would come out in that way. I'm hoping the midichlorians died with the death of the Jedi in the prequels. I'm hoping that it was basically Qui-Gon was just a nutcase. He had some theories. Outdated books.

And yeah, like the fact that Kylo Ren's not really trained. And how fucking good he could just stop something and hold it there. They show the force in a much different way yeah they did so much so much good shit with the force like rather than just like throwing shit around like there's a lot of like stopping things or like pinning rifles back so no one can shoot like that i mean like in the like one of the first scenes when uh poe dameron is it poe dameron yeah shoots his his blaster and kylo ren just stops the blast and you're like he leaves it there and that's what i really like about him in that i know douche is gonna hate what i'm gonna say next but almost how we can he freezes um ray and he can freezes the bullet the blaster laser sure and it just sort of stays there and he just you can move around a bit

like you know vader he's choking some motherfucker and it just has he actually choked yeah yeah got to keep doing it where he just does it and it stays and it's kind of like tying it off like he almost does the thing and almost like it stays there it's good which is very akin to what happens in wheel of time fuck you dusha it's very cool i would be more upset if i knew what you were referencing i guess more upsetting if you were actually a real book yeah someone came up to me at the live show a quick side note was like I just always wanted to know why do you hate Wheel of Time

and I was like because Zabit likes it and they were like what? and I was like yeah I don't really I've never read it and they were like oh and I was like I hate Lord of the Rings too and this poor man was like oh oh okay I can just tell he was not satisfied

that image of you he had in his head Spoiled No not really spoiled More just like If you're imagining me as any type of person That's not that You're wrong You're imagining me wrong anyway

So really if it's shattered It's shattered in a weird way So yeah in Wheel of Time they control someone And they just tie off the thread Whatever As very akin to like the force So again tie control someone and they just tie off the thread whatever it's very akin to like the force so again

tie them off and they stay something and that was really cool that he could do that and it was very cool because when he was Kylo Ren was like pulling almost thoughts

out of again Poe Dameron that was very cool I was wondering what was going on I was wondering if he was using the force

like push and pull like on the brain like that addition I know I thought he was doing it because like blood almost yeah like blood because like's because like oh pro diamond's face got super red speaking of blood it was very cool when finn had like like his friend died and he picked him up

and then like wiped his face like wiped his hand on his helmet he just had like the blood streaks was like that's intense yeah that was cool he was really well thought out character in terms of motivation and what he was doing like it started off being like i'm i don't want to do this he's just like i want to survive fucking anxiety fucking having a almost having a stress having a panic attack it was fantastic and he's like you need to go for fucking retraining like shut up no i don't i'm gonna escape and it's like i'm gonna save you you need a pilot yeah it was good and then that yeah that was really nice i think and then him whole him just wanting to escape and then he just kept it didn't really change until he was kind of

putting ray first and that kind of stuff and i really liked that a lot of this the moving from one scene to the next it was it was basically a lot of happenstance a lot of you know things that naturally occurred that was kind of like oh in in out of the frying pan into the fire that kind of shit very rarely did it seem super convoluted like there you could argue oh so han and chewie just happened to be flying past Jakku and they just happen to grab the million folk and that kind of stuff. And I see what you could make a bit like, oh, they're just doing this.

But it's like, well... Oh, they tracked... Yeah, that's a guess. But like you can kind of... Most of the things you're like, well, yeah, but this... Yeah, exactly. So stuff where it's kind of like,

you know, it's like, well, the chance of this happening, but it's like, no, I can sort of suspend my disbelief to be, no, I guess they were looking for... It's not just like totally out of the blue yeah you know what I mean

um I was gonna say something what the fuck was it I'm a dumb idiot who hates quips is that what you were gonna say I don't hate quips

don't you like the Marvel films I hate the Marvel films stop trying to take my thing side note fuck Marvel Cinematic Universe

and hell Age of Ultron shat on that parade I did will Civil War bring it back? Who knows? Maybe not. Let's talk about the trailers

we saw with Star Wars. All right. Straight off the bat, we had X-Men Apocalypse. I'm excited for that movie. You think, Zach Jackson thinks it looks like it's all filmed in a car park.

No, you fucking wank. He thinks Civil War's filmed in a car park, you wank. The Civil War trailer looks like it's all filmed in like one car park. Like they were like, everybody were gathering at the fucking Tesco. It's a student film, you wank. The Civil War trailer looks like it's all filmed in one car park. They were like, everybody

were gathering at the fucking Tesco. It's a student film with a high budget. The locations I saw in that trailer are car park, building, staircase. Maybe a cafe. That's what you got. The cafe near the car park.

That's not enticing, Marvel. They kind of nailed the trailer. Sorry, back to the trailers. I'm just thinking about the trailers. They really nailed it because there's X-Men Apocalypse, there was Civil War, there was Batman v Superman, and there was the Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg comedy vehicle fucking daddy's home. What's going to happen in that film?

Linda Cardellini has two kids and they're Mark Wahlbergs, but then she's married to Will Ferrell, and then daddy comes home and then it's a good old fashioned dad off it is, I'm looking forward to not seeing that film I'm on a boxing day, just in case you were wondering alright, let's get back to Star Wars

the trailers though Batman v Superman gross so let's see Finn was great, I think Finn was great. I think his motivation was really cool. His relationship, so he was building with the characters was fantastic. Well acted, well cast, really, really good and strongly just developed.

I thought he was like a really good just standout character in the whole series. I mean, in the whole movie, sorry. He had a good design as well and i like that he started off dressed completely black he pulled a switcheroo of bloody so he started off completely white and now he's black no he started off completely black at the start when he takes off all of his goddamn yeah thing oh armor yeah he's black he's wearing black underneath but then at the end when he's lying on the bed because he got fucking swiped by how good was that fight on the bloody spine yeah uh another thing and apologies to okay we're gonna reveal a little podcast secret

here well we recorded an episode for friday already oh yeah that one and tomorrow's episode yeah it's tomorrow's yeah it's tomorrow's episode um it's still oh no it's thursday now yeah tomorrow's episode we talk about time is it's Thursday now yeah tomorrow's episode we talk about time it's just it's a wheel of time anything with time in it

I hate it just doesn't understand yeah we talk about non-force users wielding lightsabers and I'm like they should and in this film they do they do

so I say a lot of things that are wrong and I'm acknowledging that now but hey it's an entertaining episode hope you enjoy yeah no

hope you enjoy it for what it is head to our Patreon www.patreon.com.au Donate what you can. We'd really like that. We'd really like that. We'd be chuffed. Exactly.

You donate enough, we might come to the UK. Who knows? Yeah. Who knows? We should start a Kickstarter for that. We should. So, Ray, I love... So, yeah, at the end, Finn's in...

Yeah, he's wearing a white line on the table. I don't know. I was just like, it's a neat thing. No, that's great. I really like that. But actually, it doesn't really follow because he's good from the beginning. Yeah. Like there's never any worry that he was evil.

No, true. So actually, it's thematically kind of worthless. It was more like he was a coward. Yeah, but he's still- And I like that though. I really love that he was a coward because we don't really get that in Star Wars Even like a piece of shit like Jar Jar Who should be a coward

He's not a coward He's not He's fucking doing backflips And helping out Fucking Qui-Gon And all that Storm of the Palace Where he really should be like No, Mesa don't want to do this

Yeah, Mesa afraid Mesa afraid It's kind of weird that Jar Jar showed up I'm just kidding Also, this is way too late in the podcast For me making dumb jokes like that Because you're 30 minutes in Yeah, Darth Jar Jar showed up. I'm just kidding. Also, this is way too late in the podcast for me making dumb jokes like that because you're 30 minutes in. Yeah, Darth Jar Jar theory just shot on.

Out the water. Snoke didn't like the design. I'll say it. All right, so Finn. Okay, we're going to the characters. I know. Snoke now. Snoke, didn't like the design?

I like the vagina cave forehead and bottom mouth. See, the thing is, you've only seen a hologram. That's true. Now, you did say he was very little in the podcast with Steel. You know what? That could be true. I reckon he is.

I reckon you're going to end up with like a tiny man. Like a little tiny man. But like, it's weird because in all of the promotional material for it that I was reading for some reason, but I was. Hey, what the fuck? To try and upset Steel. Yeah, just to get him on the fucking ropes.

Steel, I hope you're doing alright. I hope you didn't just have a heart attack and die. Oh man, you poor bastard. But in that they describe him as quite snake-like. They say he has bulbous lips and cobra ears. I'm guessing they would fucking throw you off like a dickhead And you fell for it like a dickhead

Like a spaz I got got I would have preferred that Because I think Snoke looks super boring And unless they reveal him to be like A significant character It's like what's the point of making him look like Just like a shriveled old dude

He kind of looks like Subway Fetus Voldemort If he'd been in a couple fights. Nah, I reckon we're going to find that he is not giant. No, of course he's not giant. Nah, man, when that was revealed when he was giant, I was like, sweet, he's giant. And then they're like, oh, I'm like, damn, he's not giant.

I know, I wanted him to be huge. I wanted him to be a giant man. I hope he is. I hope he's fucking giant. I reckon there'd probably be another fucking villain who... It's just going to be nuts. I like that we had a Stormtrooper with a lightsaber. Well, Finn. Oh, the Finn versing...

No, just Finn having a lightsaber. I mean, look, we already knew that he was going to do that. Also, I like that it wasn't any fucking bullshit, like... Dude should get distracted by his phone constantly. Constantly. Even at quarter to four four people are messaging me what about the stormtrooper fight between Finn and the guy

the traitor and he's got like the almost like the reject equivalent of a lightsaber but they can still stand up to a lightsaber which is really cool they've got like a counter to it now what I was trying to say before is um i don't i like that finn is just part of the first order like there wasn't any fucking oh he's a rebellion spy no no just like no no he's just he was a soldier who was like no pretty much everything i was scared of them doing they didn't do and that is good

yeah like everything like it just that i wanted to happen happened. Rey not being a solo, as far as we know, I still think there is... No. No, no. I will be surprised if she is a solo after this point. See, I won't. Yeah, well, no, because that's the thing. There were so many moments where

her and Han have these weird moments where she goes on the ship, she gets taken away, and Han has this look that's not just like, oh, this person I just met is being taken away. It's a look like, shit. They could reveal that the reason they didn't go too much into it is because they're scared the same thing will happen with... So, your theory...

Hang on, hang on. Not my theory. Okay, here's an idea then. Yeah. So, when you've got, in the prequels or whatever, where they split up Luke and Han. Luke and Leia. It's so tight.

Luke and Leia. Yeah. Same thing. They split up Ben and Rey. They want something that leads Credence. And both have three letters. Perfect. I think something that leads more Credence than...

Oh, my God. Also, fun fact about Luke's name. No, no, no. Hold on to whatever you're going to say. Fun fact about Luke's name in the original. It takes people so long to pronounce Luke as a one-syllable name because every character first is like, Luke.

Luke. Luke. That's very true. That's how I like you to pronounce my name. It's Joe. A joke. Sam my name A joke Sam it A joke

What I was going to say Is that also clearly within the Like Like twins Is the thing that happens They like to separate them Yeah like no I just mean like Like she's Leia's kid

And so is Kylo So like You know siblings Like twins Could happen again. Because when she has that little weird fever dream, you can almost hear it. It's sort of when she's like a little kid,

she can almost hear Kylo's voice, which maybe does send some credence. I had it for a moment. I was like, is she like the daughter of Kylo? No. But then again, the age. You actually said that to me and I didn't respond because it was dumb.

The ages wouldn't match up. I think that you'll find. I hope they're not relatively related i reckon i'm pretty sure they will i don't reckon they'll be twins though i was just thinking because like that she looks younger than i hope you know like even if they're cousins like no she doesn't actually look that much younger than him because he looks super young actually they're both pretty young yeah he looks like a young fancy boy 20 or 30 years after the 30? I think it's a fair few They could still be like 20

I'd hope they're not related That would be nice for me Because again Brother V sister is pretty sick there I kind of like what that fight at the end I was like that's cool brother V sister I like it Yeah because also the V fuck it son Yeah but that's was like that's cool brother v sister I like it yeah but that's a totally different

dynamic to brother and sister father and son is like a thing we see fucking literally all the time but I think Star Wars started that

yeah but brother v sister maybe I just read too many comic books where it's brother v sister and I'm kind of like ugh fuck off that's what you get

for being a dumb nerd that reads comic books yeah maybe if you didn't read comic books you wouldn't be mad I watch Star Wars movies like cool guys I should

I should alright so Rey's character I'm very defensive about being a nerd at the moment I spend all day just being hassled

by people about being a nerd fuck nerd fine me alright I love Rey's character but I hope that they eventually

explain why she's so like sort of like almost obsessive about staying on Jakku they did! no they didn't what did they say? wait what are your arguments?

what's your argument for her? I was just going to say that it seems like every time they're like oh we're going away she doesn't say like I just need to get back to Jakku she's just like gotta get back to Jakku I think this might be when you fell asleep yeah because she's waiting for her family no, because she's waiting for her family. No, I know she's waiting for her family.

But she's counting down the days and she's really stressed. She's going to miss them. Okay. Even that's not really a great explanation. No, I just... Sorry, listeners couldn't tell, but my face turned inside out there. Every time I suggest something, I'm just met with resistance. The resistance. because it just it's like she wasn't like i need to get back because i've been assured they're coming back or like

like it seemed like there was another layer to it that's another princess lay i get it now i understand star wars why'd you get a brown shirt for plumbing the desktop by the way jackson's wearing a formula style shirt and it's brown and I'm not sure why. I don't know. It was... I don't know. Fuck off. I got chocolate on my shirt.

That's a kind of brown. No, because, like, that's character motivation enough. Like, if you think... No, I think it's a fine thing. I just think that the way she, like, acted it is strange. Because she's distressed. She's going to miss her family. No, but she didn't seem distressed.

She seemed obsessed. You would be obsessed if your family abandoned you on a shitty place like Juku. Never mind, I can't even be bothered arguing this point. It's four in the morning. Not quite. Like if she was like, I need to get back. I really need to get back. But she wasn't. Every time she was just like, I need to get back. I need to get back. I need to get back. That's a different kind

of reaction. You know what I mean? Yeah, okay. So I felt like maybe. Oh, she's stressed. She's never like, I need to get back. Yeah, she is. She's like, I need to get back felt like maybe... Oh, she's stressed. She's never like, I need to get back in there. Yeah, she is. She's like, I need to get back. And I'm like, it's all right. She's like... She doesn't go...

It sort of felt like she wasn't really verbalizing a lot of stuff. And that was good. It was, again, showing what's told. I feel like it seemed like she was in denial, but then it seems like they got rid of her denial. Like, they just kind of waved it away. And I was like,

I hope that they go into it enough that that seems reasonable. And I'm assuming they will. Yeah, of course. But I'm like, would you agree that it seems like they hand-waved away that pretty quickly? They were just like, hey, don't stress. And she was like, okay. When Maz was like, hey, don't worry about it. Yeah, exactly.

And she's like, oh, I won't. Okay, then good. Yeah, like, oh, cool, I don't have to. I'll get kidnapped by this motherfucker. Good. Great. Maz, what do we think. Like, oh, cool. I don't have to. I'll get kidnapped by this motherfucker. Wood. Great. Maz. What do we think of Maz?

The pirate dwarf lady. Yes. Who had this film's cantina. Sick castle. Yeah. She was also like, hey, remember Luke's lightsaber? I got it. How'd I get it?

That's another tale for another time. I feel like we'll get an explanation for that. The cantina music. Very reggae. Yeah, I know. I we'll get the cantina music very reggae yeah i know i was like i like that like thinking of the can't get a bowl this is how i've described this song i like the cantinas of the different trilogies like you have the cantina for that one you have dexter jester's 50s diner yeah yeah it's like the cantina of the prequel just licking chocolate off your shirt no i'm licking my shirt so the chocolate gets... Yeah, yeah.

But I'm not doing it to eat the chocolate. You're doing it as a sort of... It's like a cat cleans itself. Yeah, because I'm not like, oh no, I need some chocolate. I'm like, I want to get this chocolate off my shirt. What's the best way to go about that? My tongue's wet. I'm not using it for anything

because I pause to listen to Jackson talk about jet decks, whatever the fuck his name is. Okay, yeah. I don't know. It's just fun. Different cantinas. This is all right. I liked...

Yeah, I don't know. I liked that she had... I liked that it wasn't like fucking Lando. Actually, Lando is a bad example because Lando is a bad example. But I know what you mean. There was somebody new. Yeah.

And I liked that there was like a real drive in this film to build a new mythology. Yeah. And I liked the... Again, like what Star Wars... I'm so glad they killed Han. How good is it that they killed Han? I love what star wars done and it did what star wars should do which is like reference shit that happens in that universe that we haven't seen before yeah and

i love that moment where han is sitting in like the uh when he's like freight ship whatever and like one crew are like you owe us fucking money it's like hey i don't owe you money another crew comes up you owe me money like no shit ah shit that was nice and that's what how they just throw you in and it's like yep clearly they've had other adventures

and that's good and that's fantastic and yes but how fucking good is hand man hand dying gave me such a good

nerve going on because hand dying is just like it's like a handover you know it was like it's like hand dies the camera pans up

to Finn and Rey and you're like cool they're the main characters there you go and I'm good for that exactly I knew he was gonna die beautiful moment. It's like hand-dyeing the camera, pans up to Finn and Rey, and you're like, cool, they're the main characters. There you go. And I'm good for that. Exactly. I knew he was going to die.

The moment he was so, like, so prominent. I called it. I called it. I fucking called it. Saturday. I had three theories in this film, and I think I called hand-dyeing as well, but I'm not sure if it was on a podcast.

I was speaking to James. Yeah, yeah, no, it was on a podcast. It was on a podcast. I was speaking to James, and I guess you guys a podcast it was on a podcast um i was speaking to james and i guess you guys because it was on a podcast and i said that when uh when harrison ford broke his ankle and then crashed a plane no one was mad i was like harrison ford's a mad cunt also he must die in this film because no one was stressed enough that he hurt himself because he was 70 well he's 73 now so you're like 71 72 when that happened yeah no one's stressed enough that he hurt himself. He's 73 now, so he would have been like

71, 72 when that happened. No one's just like, oh, it's alright if he's signed on to star in two of the biggest films of all time. Even in this, his old man run. Hilarious. He hobbled. He hobbled everywhere. He's probably really happy. He's like, I'm getting a lot of money and also

I can just lie down. I think, I reckon the one condition Han had for, oh, Han. His name's not Han, he's Harrison Ford. The one condition Harrison Ford probably had coming into this was like, kill me off. I'll come back if you kill me off. The whole time. And J. Abrams is like, yes. He's like, the fans will love it.

I just had a fear for that. Because, hey, I think Han's always, and again, Harrison Ford's always been like, please kill Han. Please kill Han. And I think, and also, this one didn't fit. It's well done by J. Broms, because it's very much like, it's a fan film done well,

if you know what I mean. It's not just fan fiction. It's not just fan fiction. It's paying a really good tribute to what's come before it, and it's not trying to do what Lucasas was doing even now into the point of in a return of the return of the jedi where he's just like toys yeah yeah um there's clearly stuff that's done not just for toys like even kylo ren who is a very cool character and i really like even his design

i remember seeing like little toys and being like no i'm not going to get it it's not doesn't that doesn't look cool which is interesting because i know darth darth maul in the prequels i'm like he looks rad as fuck i want a toy but with carla wears a skirt just saying he does where's the monks yeah hi do you have any monk figurines yes look at my look at my collection of months for the u.s detective series of monks starring Tony Shalab I'm looking for a monk figure of the show no no the religious

cultural group I kind of like the idea how you have like you know like a Shaolin monk and all these other like different like a Tibetan monk and then you just have

like a monk from the TV show Tony Shalab what the fuck is this I just like monks but he's not a he's a monk you're like well what's the worst action

figure you could buy I reckon Robert from Everybody Loves Raymond no wait that's fucking now what's Robert's You're like, well... What's the worst action figure you could buy? I reckon Robert from Everybody Loves Raymond. Ma! No, wait, that's fucking... Now, what's Robert's wife? What's Robert's wife? That, as an action figure.

Oh, Christ. Just a whole... No, Frasier's dad, but you can't take him out of the chair. Or chair sold separately, but he doesn't... You can't bend his legs. Yeah, it doesn't fit in the chair no no no I like the idea of him he fits in the chair but now I've got an action figure I can play with

nah but you don't have the chair and his legs are permanently stuck in like the the chair position that's like somebody once got me an action figure that was meant to ride a horse but you had to buy the horse separately so she just walked around really like splay legged and I was like i can't play with this that's incredible in the bin um so yeah so

but even like i really oh no kylo ren sorry yeah i liked finn's design a lot i really enjoyed like the simple cool jacket yeah and he loves it was whatever jacket as well he's like no you keep it oh man ray had an awesome design as well i loved loved her little quarter length pants. Yeah, and the bow staff. She could handle herself. I liked it was very much when Finn's trying to help her. He's like, fuck off. I help myself. And he was like, all right.

Why do I always hold hands when we run? That was good. That was good. Good night, everybody. I'm not even going to apologize. It's nearly four o'clock in the fucking morning. Loser. Oh, no. Yeah yeah so with finn um because one thing as a kid that i always liked in toys is like when they had removable helmets

fucking finn if there's not a toy of him as like just the stormtrooper with the helmet and you take it off in finn's face i think there is yeah i also wanted like the jacket you want like you remember those action figures that had like the rubber jacket that you could peel off yeah that you want like you remember there's action figures that had like the rubber jacket that you could peel off yeah that oh that would be sick yeah like a click or even like um like yeah like the body armor is like a click on oh yeah fuck yeah there's a lot of good i want a lot of toys for fit just a fin lots of fin toys uh you could have a removable mask as well but color ran like you take up his mask fancy boy put itancy boy Put it back on Yeah you're right His design's kind of

Not very notable Yeah And I'm not very And the things I like I like that As a film Because it's like Yeah okay that's great

For the film But you're right Because he hasn't J Abrams hasn't Kind of sold out And been like Let's make something Cool for toys

Yeah And I like that Because Kylo Ren Without his like Hood and shit Kind of crappy Yeah like kind of a bad Even his hood's like

Not terribly interesting. He's just like, it's neat, I guess. Covers his face. Like I wouldn't call his hood, his mask iconic, would you? No. No. One sick thing they did, they didn't kill Kylo Ren or any of the main bad guys. That's right.

Yeah. They threw Captain. Yeah. The two things that happened that I was like, if this happens, I'll be a happy boy, happened. Han get like fucking stabbed like a dumb cunt and fucking

they didn't kill Kylo Ren or Captain Phasma well General Hux also didn't die which is General Hux

isn't like you don't he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our

he's our he's our he's our he's our basically he's our he's our he's our

he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our

he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our

he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our

he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our

he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our

he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our he's our That must be sad that at some point in the galaxy Moth stopped existing It was the last Moth Hey with Rebel One

You're going to get some more Moth up Some more Moth action This is going to be weird There's a new Star Wars film every year I'm going to be alright But I still have worry and concern I think Star Wars lends itself a lot better Than the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Alright Star Wars directors I know you're listening And I right, Star Wars directors, I know you're listening. And I'll get into the reason why I know you're listening a bit later on. But make sure that when you fucking make these extended universes, make them all feel fucking different. Don't just be like, it's all the same. And I think the benefit you have there is that there's not really a... There is a Star Wars film. But you know what I mean? There's not like a like there is a Star Wars film but you know what I mean there's not like a template yeah there's superhero films you're like

you get the good one and you get the bad version of the good one and then there's a girl around and they fight and somebody wins and the good guy somebody wins it's the good guy good ant man beats bad ant man and everyone's happy um

yeah you wanna say something? no man and everyone's happy yeah um yeah you wanna say something nah nothing alright well I'll point out the one thing everyone's

waiting for us to mention this film acknowledges plumbing the death star it was really nice

who plums the death star Finn Finn is the answer Finn he worked on fucking what was it

sanitation sanitation on the death star on the killer well not the death star but the star killer... Well, not the Death Star, but the Starkiller base. So, yeah. Close enough.

Like, J.J. Abrams, he looked directly into the camera and was like, got you, boys. And now, when you're all fucking bugging us to do the... Who does the Pommel on the Death Star?

Finn. How's the answer? Finn does it. Yeah, that was kind of funny. That was a neat little moment. That's weird. It's weird that J.J. Abrams knows who we are and clearly is a big fan of the podcast. Rude a neat little moment. That's weird. It's weird that JJ Abrams knows who we are

and clearly is a big fan of the podcast. Rude of him not to donate to our Patreon. Whatever. JJ, it's okay. Not even a furious. Not even. Didn't even get an invite to any of the press screenings. Rude.

We went to the peasant screenings. Not even fucking going to us. We didn't get no fancy boy screenings for us and we got pretty good seats shout out to me for getting those so I just want to have

whoever got those seats should get a kudos so guys shout out to Joel Dusha can we thank Joel Dusha for getting us a meeting what was your favourite weird alien design

like in the background I love fuck the robots were good oh sorry just remember something good You drank too many V's And heart attacks

And I had a coronary attack Whatever her name is She just wants to fuck Chewie Maz Now that Han's dead Chewie is free of his life debt So now Chewie can do What he wants to do

Chewie and Maz can have A gross wrong baby Yeah Chewie can like Fucking cause I like now to imagine That everything that Chewie has been done

Has because like He's at life debt The Han And now he's like I'm sad that my Best buddy But then again We sort of

I'm free now I'm free I can do what I can do what Chewie wants Yeah I can do what Chewie wants Yeah I can hide Fucking hell

We've hit the yawning segment You have, I'm good Shut up, you almost had a heart attack I yelled at you Actually, hang on Something made me piss myself laughing in the cinema What was it? No, that was the apocalypse trailer.

Where Magneto hurls Professor X's wheel. Magneto picks him up and drags him. Oh, no, no, no. Eric, please don't. Put me down. Give me one second. I don't Put me down I don't have good legs I've been offered a can of V And I'm gonna go take that

I'll be back in one second Keep recording the episode Don't worry we'll keep talking There's something else that I really liked And I think I pointed out to you as well The fuck was it? It was some weird robot doing a good thing Yeah it was in

Oh fuck it how do you show It was in in uh uh oh fuck it hell do shit it's in Jakku whatever you pronounce that planet Jakku yeah why can't I

Jakku fucking Jakku yeah uh it was in that scene see I like that gross thing that was just

lapping up the water that Finn drank out of yeah that was awesome I like that see again Finn such a good character it's kind of like yeah motivation

I get it he's like gets out of wherever he's fucking stuck. It's water. I just need water. I'll drink it. It's a bit gross.

This is gross. Fuck it. Again, I don't want to harp on about the quips. But here it is. He drinks the water and it's gross. And instead of just being like, ugh, and keeping drinking, he does like a whole like, he mugs. He's like, and you're like, why not just be like, ew, it's gross and keep drinking? I don't know.

He does. He does. But it's gross and keep drinking? I don't know. He does. But it's like exaggerated. Anyway. I'm not even talking into a micro-virtual. The only exaggeration is in your fucking mouth, Jackson. But I like the guy who was selling the fucking little food to Ray. He's like a Sultaran or a Sultaran from Doctor Who There was a few aliens that looked a little Doctor Who-ish

Because the thing with the big face looked like face of Poe Poe Dameron How funny is it to imagine that guy selling the food ration story Was just like a Sultaran that fucked up Because they're like a war-like species that are always in their armour But this one clearly had his armour taken and gotten fat It's just really funny The mosquito guys hanging out at the cantina that are always in their armor. But this one's clearly had his armor taken and gotten fat. It's just really funny.

The mosquito guys hanging out at the cantina, they were rad. Yeah, they were good. Oh, actually, one part that was really funny was when they walked into the cantina and then we got exactly the same dialogue from both a resistance spy and a First Order spy. Yeah, that was good. And again, that was sort of clever about how to get these two forces

to converge into one place. And again, very neat, very good writing. Lots of quips. Yeah, I hated that bit, but I'm not going to speak up anymore because I'm not going to win in my quip argument. That whole bit, I was like, what's the point? Mad Max Fury Road has heaps of quips. Mad Max Fury Road has like no quips. It's quip-less. It's quip- max fury road has heaps of quips mad max fury road

has like no quips so many quips it's quip plus film all the way so many quips the only two things i probably now thinking about it that i felt out of place one was uh yeah the scene the star trek scene the star trek scene in the middle of my fucking style where like yeah uh ray opens up the doors and it's like those monsters come out and they just this is a design of the monsters in the way it did it did feel very star trekky fuck cartoony and a little bit cartoony yeah and the second one i'm thinking is just the death of the resistance like killing those five planets and no one really hitting that. There's no impact. In A New Hope,

they blow up Alderaan and it's like, oh shit, I felt the disturbance. And it's like, you know, all these voices, like a couple of voices calling out being like, oh no. I think we're going to get more of, I think because when they blow up the planets, this film is already

underway, like well underway. I think we're going to get the planets, this film is already... Is it underway? Like, well underway. I think we're going to get the more feeling of that in the second film because they destroyed the Reboblick. Like, it's done again. It's done. Which brings back the status quo of fucking the original trilogy. I know.

The Imperials are winning again. We're back. But it was still, like... I know. There was just no weight to it like they destroyed them well they destroyed these five planets and there's no weight from the fact that how we saw it like with older on it's just like a real quick thing well this is really slow yeah like no no no isn't it there's weight for us but there's no way for the characters yeah like the

life's death also doesn't have that much yeah the resistance layer is just like kind of like looking at it and then c-3po is like la la two's doing shit and she's like sick i'm in Yeah, like the... Hodge's death also doesn't have that much layer. Yeah, yeah, like Leia is just like kind of like looking a bit bummed. And then C-3PO's like, La La 2's doing shit. And she's like, sick, I'm in. But Leia has her reaction when it happens, remember, at Cod's door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I keep forgetting that Leia is more sensitive. She does it in...

She did it in Return of the Jedi, which I watched before this. And I was like, fucking forgot about that. Watch his beeping. Is your alarm... Somebody Somebody's gotta get up My alarm sounds like Jamie T, the British singer What time do you start work? 7 o'clock

I still got 3 hours My heart rate's only 87 at the moment That's surprising It's going down Mine gets loud when I do shit It yells and it gets fast Nah, I'm fucking flying it's going down mine gets loud when douche yells and it gets fast nah I'm fucking flying

what the fuck was that yeah so like the resistance the republic just being fucked no one really acknowledges it in the film

yeah is what I'm saying the resistance I cried I didn't cry the resistance but douche is right maybe that's because

that was during like well they're like we don't have time to mourn. It's in a war. It's in a battle. And then maybe next film, there'll be the ramifications of that.

Because that's a weird thing about this. Maybe it isn't weird. I don't know. This film, I kind of don't know where they'll go next. I have vague ideas. Well, what I thought was going to happen, and this actually brings me to, I started listing things I thought was going to happen in this film.

I'll just quickly list them so I can talk about them. I've already spoken about one. I thought that... Dusha, signposting his sentence is good. I thought that Han Solo was going to happen in this film. I'll just quickly lift them so I can talk about them. I've already spoken about one. I thought that... Lucius, signposting his sentence is good. I thought that Han Solo was going to die and that happened. I didn't think Luke was going to be in the film. I thought that do the old, he'll be in the film. And like the scene where he puts his hand on R2 would be

similar to what they actually did in the film. I thought that was all they're going to do. And I thought that Rey was going to be Han Solo's kid but isn't so then once they were like oh everything's done we need to go find Luke I thought it was going to be search for Spock but search for Luke as Star Wars 2

Star Wars 2 the search for Spock Luke Splook but no they find Luke right at the end living on a hill what was he staring at before she got there Trek, trek, trek But no, they find Luke right at the end Living on a hill He's just What was he staring at before she got there? He's like, how many whales can I see?

I'm gonna go fishing Soon it's gonna be super good To be fair, he's probably I know, he's force sensitive He knows she's coming Shut up If he knows she's coming It's even weirder that he was looking away

Was that like, he's like, she's coming up Better face away so I can do a dramatic turn. Or he was thinking about all the planets just blow up. Maybe. How there was millions of voices suddenly silenced. That's true. Probably billions of voices really when you think about it. They blow up like seven planets.

I like that they were like, fuck the moons also. Not just fuck the planet, fuck the moons. Well, I guess if you lived through the original trilogy, they're always on the fucking moons. Yeah. There's a planet. There the moons. Well, I guess if you lived through the original trilogy, they're always on the fucking moons. Yeah. There's a planet. There's moons. Good.

I quite like, it's just like a tiny scene, but I really liked when they fired off the weapon from Starkiller Base and it showed the trees because it's on a planet. Yeah. The trees just being like flying to the side. I like that. How they just converted a moon into the Starkiller Base. We have nuclear bomb tests.

Still got that one, right? um yeah what do you call them one thing i wish i agree actually one thing i would have slightly changed sure parody parodies they're parodying a nuclear bomb one thing i want to change though the scene where it's like they show the star killer base draining a sun yeah and then it just flashes into the, it cuts to the resistance talking about what they're doing. It's like, oh, and then it's like Finn says, oh yeah,

it gets the energy from the sun. It's like, I would have just reversed those two scenes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Or had like, no, cause then they're saying it and explaining it.

Yeah, that's true. Cause then you're like, oh, I see what I now have learned what I was seeing. I don't like it when movies do that. Either way, you all just cut

Cut one of the two out We didn't need Reversing the order would have made it worse That scene could have gone four different ways It could have just been either one of them Or it could have been reversed Reversing them would make it the worst possible option Yeah, because then it's like

They drain the sun And then it's like, hey, guess what's happening to the sun? It's getting drained. It's where we get a cool image and we're like, whoa, what the fuck? And then it's draining the sun. We all just be like, oh, it's draining the sun. Yeah, but Star Wars is a kid's movie. Oh, it's draining the sun.

Yeah, but you're like, something's happening. I'm assuming they're draining the sun. Oh, lol, now I know for sure. Or even as it's, I don't know, even as it's draining the sun oh lol now i know for sure yeah or even my beating heart or even as it's maybe even i don't know even as it's draining the sun as it's sort of halfway through the like the voice over of finn telling what's going to happen oh see that sounds even worse again i don't know just don't tell me what's happening as it's happening i'm there just slightly but they kind of told you what's happening just almost directly after it just felt also weird anyway

you know i liked finn not understanding the force that was good well he was like we'll just use the force exactly see what i mean fins like us we don't understand the force either yeah that was see that was an okay quip that quip gets the tick of what quips did you like yeah that was good yep i don't remember any of the others i don't know they were sticking fast thinking about the star trek scene um i like that she opened the wrong doors Because that is very reminiscent Of something that would happen in a Star Wars film Of them being like hey we're competent

Oh god And also shutting the doors and cutting off its legs That was good I like that that lad was Irish I like that in Star Wars It was so multicultural I loved it It's kind of funny that there was so much backlash From loved it. Hey, whatever. There was Asians. There was wood. Everyone's white and male

and the two leads are now a lady and a black man. It's the best. It's super good. There was multicultural rebel pilots. There was lady stormtroopers who just had a lady stormtrooper voice and you were like, yeah, good.

There was a 12-year-old Asian person as one of the fucking X-Wing parts. Good. One of the fucking X-Men. I mean, as Jubilee. She's there. She comes by. She's going like, oh, fire.

She's great. I'm starting to think that maybe the sanitation thing was a reference to us and now I'm getting scared that JJ's listening. Dusha thinks so high of himself it's beautiful no why wouldn't he listen to me because we're great um he is hey jj you're beautiful uh hey hey jj hey hey hey hey hey jenny jenny whatever his name is the guy that wrote empire strikes back he's probably a big fan yeah shout out to him yes um i'm trying to think uh so what

do you think's going to happen in the next one? I don't know. It depends. It's a hot mystery. Luke will either take the role of Yoda or he will join their team and take the role that Han Solo had in this film. I don't particularly like how I'm imagining either of those because I don't want him as a straight replacement for Yoda. But I guess he would be coming with... I hope he comes with...

I don't think he's going to be either. Yeah. I think he's going to be like... He's going to be a competent but reserved

person to train Rey. I hope he doesn't want anything to do with it. That's my hope. He's not going to want to train Rey. That's what I mean. Like, reserved.

So he's going to be reluctantly doing it. That's even worse. I don't reckon they're training her at all. Well, she has to train her. what I mean like reserved so he's gonna be reluctantly doing it that's even worse I don't reckon he'll train her at all well she has he's gonna train crazy Jedi just fucking do it

she'll train herself find Yoda's ghost it's about I like that we got no ghosts that was nice yes fucking force ghosts

ruin things actually there's no Jedi died and we didn't get any old ghosts That's true Unless Snoke is a ghost

I hope that with Luke He's just like Nah I'm done I don't want to get back into that again And so Rey has to chuff back to the Rebels And be like I hope they don't

Soz I hope they don't kill anymore of the original cast Because Leia can die I like Leia in the original trilogy but in this I was like what's the point of her no but the thing is if they kill her why well yeah that's fair

she was good in this I really thought she in terms of acting chops like hey me Jackson the 24 year old Australian lad is calling you out Carrie Fisher but I just didn't think like compared to everyone else like it didn't think, compared to everyone else,

it didn't seem like she was given much of a performance. I'll say it. I'll go there. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of Carrie Fisher. I'm saying things you aren't even afraid to say. Tweet us and I will give you taxes and credits. I'm scared of Carrie Fisher.

I think her performance was fine. There was nothing I would be like, oh, it was gross. I think everyone... No, it wasn't like it was terrible. It was kind of funny how many cigarettes she must have smoked since Return of the Jedi. It just felt super nothing-y.

I don't know. That's just how I felt about it. She'll probably have a bigger role in the next film. That's, again, a lot of the issues are going to come down to that. Easy, this is a set-up film. And this is setting up... They didn't do it too bad. It's not too much of a a set up film. This is the status quo.

This is what's happening. This is the shit that's gone down. Let's talk about Dommel Gleeson for a sec. Good. End of discussion. He was a good Hitler youth fancy boy. Goddamn fancy boys.

Finn might spend most of the... Going back to what you asked and we didn't answer I reckon Finn might spend a lot of the next film sort of recovering I hope so He mightn't be in it Like he'll be in it But he might be more They give him like a sweet metal spine

I reckon he might be in it similar to the amount that Oscar Isaac is in this film He's there Actually Fuck whatever I just said Let's talk about Poe Dameron more How am I sick Sick on Poe Dameron I want a Poe Dameron more How am I sick of Poe Dameron?

I want a Poe Dameron solo movie Yes That would be so good He just Poe Dameron and like BB-8 Or 8 BB, whatever the fuck you call him BB-8 Poe Dameron, I think

Just knocking around Also, him calling BB-8 BB-8 at the start was a bit I didn't like that Yeah, yeah, I agree I was like, let's call him BB Come on, you're friends Have a nickname Just call him BB

Nah, it was You're right Fucking thing Just call him BB. Um, no. You're right. I think I called him R2. He wasn't like, hey, R2-D2, the droid I own. Yeah, he was like, hey, BB-8. But in A New Hope, they do exactly the same introduction. C-3PO is like, this is my friend R2-D2. I am a protocol droid, C-3PO.

I really hope they never explain C-3PO's red arm. Yeah, good. Just never touch on it. Actually, that was a funny quip. He's like, oh, you probably didn't recognize me because of this arm. That was great. That was a good quip. It was because next to C-3PO, there was a same looking dude, but he's red. That's even good.

And was he missing enough? No, but man, if he he was I would have been like That's great C-3PO is more important The prequel to it Never explained why C-3PO went from silver to gold It just happened Somebody was just like

Buy robots I want to be pretty. He's no longer hearing what we're saying. What? It's because it's all the way over there and I just wanted to sit up a bit. I hope C-3PO becomes redder as the film's going on in the last one. He's red and you're like, okay.

Another thing I didn't like? R2-D2. I don't know if you've already said that. I didn't like him activating. Like I said, I groaned when they that before. I didn't like him activating. Like I said, I groaned when they relieved him. Hang on. Revealed.

Reactivating, yeah, no. Saved up for the next one. When they pulled the fucking cloth off. I'm like, why have that there? And then to have him being like,

oh, he wakes up when Han dies. Like, why? What happened? He sends his servants to the force. He's forced to. Was there a fucking

little failsafe in R2 where it was like, when Han dies? Yeah, I know. And Luke being in R2 Where it was like When Han dies Yeah I know And Luke being like I fucking hate Han When he dies I'll be back

I know You know what it could be What Um Like Luke feels That Han has died And he's like Okay

I'll give you the map to me Yeah I don't know I mean it's a dick move But I think Oh yeah And that may be Because then you can

When Rey's like Here's your lightsaber And then Luke's all teary Because I guess he knows Han's dead Yeah, maybe But I agree That whole thing just felt very on the nose You were like, okay

I would have rather R2-D2 being like Like there Around, like roundabout Scooting around, doing shit And like, come on R2-D2 You know you have the fucking map He's like, I don't have access to it And then when Han-Doo's like you've got a transmission from Master Luke?

Even like, just like R2's just there and part of things and having wacky times and then just suddenly starts projecting the map. And everyone's like, how are you doing that? And he's like, beep, beep, beep, boop. And you're like, Luke? Is he corresponding? Is it like, there it is. And then BB just map fucks him again.

Yeah, exactly. It's good. It's good. You liked that bit too much. I did That was my faves Does that mean Unpunishable sex drive

Yes I still find my My favourite thing was like Finn just stabbing that cunt With the lightsaber No I think my favourite thing was Great It was fucking good

Finn being like Hey You Wait when did fucking BB-8 Give the thumbs up Oh that scene That was good That was

That was a good quip That was when Finn was like I'm part of the fucking resistance Shut the fuck up I want a maybe banger Be a good wingman That was sick

Those were good quips They fucking realised that Comic relief is okay to just be a droid. Yeah. I love that bit where fucking BB, again, imprints on Ray like a duck. Because like, I don't know, like the opening scene when BB just rolls through, he's like, he just rolls through like a flock of ducks. That pleased me.

I don't know why, but I'm like, no, good. He's got ducks. I love this planet. Great, there's ducks. There's stuff going on. And then he's like, fuck old dad, you're new dad. BB, BB. And Ray's like Okay fine

That was great I did like wondering What the fuck Kind of environment They designed BB-8 for In a spaceship He's just like Smacking on a wall

He's got the He shoots out the wires Took him a while To use those wires On the Millennium Falcon I think he's like Oh fuck Do you know what I liked

And like I don't know It was kind of Anticlimactic when they did it But I think in repeat View, oh, fuck. Do you know what I liked? I don't know. It was kind of anticlimactic when they did it, but I think repeat viewings are like it more. It's how they're like, that's garbage. And then it's the Millennium Falcon. But they don't hold the camera on the Millennium Falcon for ages. They're not like, that's garbage.

I did like also the way that it rises up and all the trash falls off it. They're like, hey, we're taking it out of retirement. I did like how it was like, what the fuck's doing in Jakku? That motherfucker stole a glove. That guy, he stole it. See, that was a bad quip. That's a bad quip.

I hated it. I was like, what's the point of turning it into a joke? Because it's... Let's not get into the whole quip sitch again. No, because that's a reference. Are you pro-quip or like anti-quip?

Hashtag anti-quip. If you're listening and you were like yeah, the film had too many quips it was kind of unnecessary. There was some scenes that didn't need to be comedic but were comedic. Pro-quip. I'm anti-quip. Pro quip.

I'm anti-quip. No, because that is just a reference to fucking Lando and Han. But like, is all of it or just like the first bit and then they like fill in the middle? No, the fact when he's like, hey, because the real quip comes with him being like, let them know that Han Solo is stealing back from one of your fucking...

Yeah, yeah. Well, if the other stuff's a reference I just didn't get that's fine no it's not him being like no this person had it and then this person had it and this person had it that's not a reference I don't think maybe we got called out for our Star Wars knowledge earlier today so we did

but yes no I didn't like that little segment I thought that was kind of useless but that's just Jackson's opinion anti-quip hashtag anti-quip anti-quip hashtag anti-quip andy quip hashtag andy quip andy quip hashtag andy quip it's for right now i just realized that we have to pack this up yeah i was like no it's all right because like when we get to the episode i can just go to bed no you help me put this in my car i can't go to bed. No, you help me put this in my car. I can't go to bed until nine. Exactly.

And like solidarity, I got to fucking drive this cunt home and like, well, to the cafe. Sit in a cafe and just stare at him until he gives me a coffee. Or maybe just sleep in a corner. There's a couch. If you had a coffee, now I'd have a hard time. I'd close my eyes. That wasn't a tweet. Don't do it. Don't do it.

Wake up. Not the face. You just legitimately slapped yourself in the face. You've got two energy drinks in front of you. Yeah, I don't want to... I've got to pace myself. Yeah, I didn't. I'm an idiot.

Yeah, I had one that was in the fridge. Not my fridge also, so that's good. Don't live here. Hang on. She has two. Could I have five energy drinks in one day? Don't fuck Claire. That's rude of you.

Claire is one of our friends. For listeners that are unaware. Claire's like, Claire, I fucked you what taking your second energy drink I don't care good and we are yelling right next to our bedroom we certainly are

Star Wars enough about our friends I really like that robot when they were renting Mazda's palace Mazda RX4 whatever her name was. It was just like looming over. It was just a good looking robot. That's all I have.

There was a lot of stuff that just didn't need to be... It was just like yeah, good. That's good. That's good to look at. That's in the world. That's a good time. The only scene that I remember being like, I don't like looking at this as much is just the Star Trek scene. Yeah, I think that is...

Because they should really feel like Star Wars aliens. Yeah, that's the thing. They felt like a Star Trek alien. Weirdly. Because everything was very... Also, the special effects. It looked real props. Yeah, it was great. And that bird!

A bird just smacking his fucking face into a thing. I was into that yeah I was into that that was a good time everything's good she was a scavenger scavenger scum

nah I loved it that was good times I don't think I wanted Luke in this film like I don't think I wanted to see that at the end of the oh but then there's

a good ending nah but I I kind of agree with you yeah maybe then putting the map good time together, and then leaving it at that. But then I think you can't open a film with that either.

I reckon I should have ended with her arriving on that island, and then... I reckon you need to see Luke, but I don't think you needed him turning around. No, but then you're like, who was that? And then everyone's like... Like fucking hell, everyone's like,

Kylo Ren is Luke. He's not, everyone's like, Kylo Ren is Luke. He's not, by the way. Kylo Ren is Adam Driver or Ben Solo. Have we already said that? Ben Solo or Garner. I said that at the start. Literally, we were counting down spoilers. I was going to say Darth Jar Jar.

We already said that. We pulled that one out of the trunk. Which is good, because if they left it open for people to say that it's true, I would have killed myself. And there would have been blood on everyone's hands, except mine, because I'd be dead. Um, what the fuck else happened in this movie?

What else can we talk about here? Are we good? Final thoughts? Final thoughts? Final thoughts, because it's 4.30 in the morning. It was a pretty good film. 8 out of 10. I won't see it again, unless30 in the morning. It was a pretty good film. 8 out of 10. I won't see it again unless I'm made to. Probably until episode 8 is out,

then you'll watch it to rehash. Exactly. Hashtag Andy Quip. I really liked it. Hashtag Andy Quip. Sorry. I really liked it, but for some reason I'm not...

Like, I'm giving it a 7.5 I will rewatch it I think it dragged a little bit in points How long was it? It's 135 minutes To me it was a very short 130 I think the only point it dragged for me

is towards the end of the second act just before the start of the third a lot of the like the rebels fighting the Starkiller base sort of dragged yeah

how cool was the scene when Poe Dammer and Finn are escaping though at the very start yeah that was great that was bloody quip central

and he gets caught on the thing no I that was alright because they were just thrown out so you're pro quips because I'm pro quips

in appropriate places because you quip with your friends but in a serious situation you don't quip there's one thing That was alright because they were just thrown out. You're pro quips. Because I'm pro quips in appropriate places. Because you quip with your friends. But in a serious situation you don't quip. There's one thing I liked in watching it. When is there quips in a serious situation? Give me one example. I don't know. We've explored.

I don't know. You just find out you've got cancer. And we're like, lol your ball. This is shit. Don't even fucking. We've had the discussion. Pro quips.

Pro quips. Andy quip. Andy quip i hope the one scene that i thought was good in the film but now i'm thinking about was like maybe not the bit when the millennium falcon and she's like the gun gets like in one position so she kind of no that was awesome turns it around oh fuck we haven't spoken about the best scene in the film the lightsaber fight yeah we did have we? no we didn't I'm so tired we mentioned it

but we didn't explain it I love that they did that whole scene in a forest full of trees they can cut down yeah that was so clever and so cool the sound effects

was like good I liked that it no because I mentioned that everyone no one knows how to use a lightsaber and that's good but no the fact that

you get bloody Finn fighting for a bit and then he gets his back all sliced like he gets his ass handed to him then ray is like don't worry i got this and then she realizes to use the force and that's sick and everything's good it's a really really good ray she's a wilder it makes sense because why would anyone be fucking flipping around it's like a that's true There was no real big flips. It was good. No one did a single... All quips, no flips.

Hashtag all quips, no flips. Yeah, that was a good fucking... And I loved how Finn almost took Luke's stance when they're fighting. Just like the power stance. Everyone looked like they were going to shit themselves. Just like overhead. Just like smack, smack, smack. just like smack smack smack that was see this is good in the trailer i was confused about how they were going to do it in the film because um thingy's lightsaber kylo ren's lightsaber is revealed very early on but in the trailer you see it turn on when he's standing in the forest

yeah the film doesn't play out like that the camera pans across it's already on when he's standing in the forest. In the film, it doesn't play out like that. The camera pans across and it's already on. Yeah, that's true. I thought that was from the fever dream that she has when she gets near the lightsaber. Yeah. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, the trailer is from the fever dream. No, no.

Because the teaser trailer, I remember because I've seen it about 850 times. There's the, turn it on. Is Kylo Ren sort of, you're seeing him from the back, like staggering into the forest And then he stops and turns it on I guess they probably cut that bit for timing

Or that was just shot for the trailer I like that fight Because he was limping and shit And he was smacking his gut shot That was good I don't know why he was smacking his wound That was weird He kept on hitting himself Is it because pain fuelled him? Is it why he was smacking his wound yeah that was weird he kept on just like hitting

himself is it because it was like pain fueled him yep is it because he was like his hilt burnt the dude um fin yeah yeah it was fin that happened too that was good it's pretty good bloody seven out of ten seven and a half out of 10 it's a film that I'm like it was fine but I have issues with it 8 and you're like I loved it

7.5 I gotta bring it back to 7 now because of that well your review sounds like a 6 that was a little bit I'm saying 9

I enjoyed it I really did even stuff I'm now just nitpicking thinking of it like the Millennium Falcon her doing that weird thing and like having the perfect shot line up it's like but then it's like no she was force sensitive that was good and that was such a cool way to do it to be like not engines off bang that was cool sick and mad as fuck yeah so all in all

fun yeah what would you have wanted then to make it a 10 out of 10? I know for Jack it's like no quips, more flips. Just less quips. Less quips, all flips, fucking... No flips. Jackson, no quips, all flips, fucking bullshit Bailey. Yeah. What up?

I think that could have been paced a little. See, because I'm approaching it not from a Star Wars film point of view but just as a film because again I agree that to me it was probably a 10 out of 10 Star Wars film it's the best film they probably could have made and as a film though I'm putting it as a 9 maybe

8.5 it suffers a bit from being the first in a planned trilogy it has a little bit of pacing issues it's a little bit too much of a retreading it is it is an uphill battle for them but i think they did it really well so via what would you try and make it a bit better i think that it needs to probably get rid of the star killer thing it needed a different thing because we've had so many fucking starships at this point that whole fight you kind of knew where it was going you were like okay it was super

mcguffin the way they were like, you do this, you shoot this, and they save the day. Don't even trip, dog. I liked when they were having that discussion around the planning table, and they're like, so, you're going there, you'll do that, you'll do that. So you'll do episode three, you'll do episode one, good. But I just think it was funny.

You're like, but in an actual military plan, a lot more goes into it than You take out the boosters You do that Anyway let's fuck along People getting the chips and we're like Wait what the fuck was I doing I just think it was a little too

And also in episode 1 Nope episode 4 Just give it a bit Episode 11 When they're going down the meridian trenchrench and like X-Wings die and you like see them blowing up and like, Oh, that pilot.

No. In this one part is dying. Like, I don't know who just died. There's a lot going on on the screen. I, I, I didn't really,

I didn't care as much about these particular X-Wing pilots. The character deaths are really way too. As I did in say the new hope. I think I just struggled to really stay awake and also the space battles were just pretty chaotic do you think that you would have enjoyed it more if you didn't need to shit the whole time

I think I would have enjoyed it less this could put me on edge this adds an element of danger that I can sympathise with the people on the screen I know what that's like because i right now might shit myself um i'm trying to think yeah no well there's my review 7.5 and that might be shooting a little low after i watch it again we'll know what i yeah really think about it and it's the kind of thing

where like i feel like in like a month if we look back because you get that high after coming out of a good movie yeah you know what i mean then a month later you're like oh actually well it's because i'm always kind of worried i'm like am i star wars episode one-ing this myself you know and when people kind of when they first watched star wars when they came out but you know this is objectively better than Star Wars Episode I. It started good. It started brutal. We saw like the Empire or the First Order being like, nah, they're fucked up. They're just going to slaughter a village.

They have to direct it. It was very goal-driven as well. It was clear focus. Their storyline was well thought out. I think the first half of the film had more iconic scenes than the second half. Yeah, that's fair. I'd say that apart from that lightsaber fight, the whole second half of the film is just all a bit

like oh when they fire the laser that's cool too but like the cantina doesn't look that like i thought the can i'm gonna say this i thought the cantina music not great i mean the music was trash i called it forgettable earlier on you did episode it was so forgettable i forget you said it was so forgettable I forget you said it was forgettable yeah that's good and I liked Mazda whatever as a character but I think she was because there was

so many practical effects and the fact that she was like mostly CGI that was also why the Star Trek bad guys looked weird because they really

stood out because they didn't have that like I liked her crawling on a table for a moment there I thought it was going to be

crawling on a table and being like I know you're like a fucking storm but no she was like you're a fucking being, for a moment there, I thought it was going to be crawling on a table and being like, I know you're like a fucking storm, but no, she was like, you're a fucking coward. You're a piece of shit coward. That was good. What was the quip, not a quip, but like a little offline about clones?

I think I missed that. So what they were saying is when Finn fucked off, they were like, we should get clones rather than, they were referencing the fact that the clones are still available. That's nice. Yeah, you can still grab them if you want. And I did like how they were like,

oh, stormtroopers, they just grab people and indoctrinate them. Yeah. That was nice. So yeah, that's good. You don't... That sort of fucked up episode

from the live show episode. You don't sign up to be a stormtrooper. You just get stole as a kid. Yeah. Get stole? Good. Nah, in the stormtrooper You just get stole as a kid Get stalled? Good No, in the stormtrooper you might have In this one, the first order of stealing kids

Stormtrooper you go to the job fair I like that baby, it's mine now Here's a little helmet Shoot rebels, the resistance I like that everything had new names First order Resistance It's also good because They're not rebelling

To anything They're resisting Yeah that's true That's clever Because the Republic Well now they can change The name to Rebels again In the opening scroll

Was a really nice way Of putting everything out Being like We don't know the fuck Luke is But hey this pilot's a rat Let's follow his story True Nice way of

Chucking everyone in And I'll try that again Fuck yeah pro-Diamond And I think yeah yeah, the ending of with the way Luke is revealed, that could have been, I don't know, either extended

to make maybe some actual sentences going on. No, I'm glad he didn't say anything. Just to be like, yo, what up? I wonder how much Mark Hamill got paid to stand on a mountain and not say anything. Probably more money than I'll ever see in my life. What was the point of... Correct. That whole scene of weird when you look that's me dragged a bit yeah i'm like what i was like gonna be like what was the point of her being like she walks up some steps

looks around there's a stool there where she walks up some more steps i'm reading what's next for her it's an arch archway then there's some more steps steps Then Luke's up on a hill being like Way on the lightsaber Clouds Look at these clouds I miss clouds I don't know Maybe he I don't know

I don't know what you could have done instead Yeah Either just like him Not the giant walk Them going to like where he is And it just being like a flat piece of land And him just there in a hut Being like yo what up

Him in a hut In a hut Balls Oh wait That him in a hut I thought this was bad for me outside I know it's a taunt one lack of huts in this film where were the huts at? I'm so fucking glad there was no huts because then I would be mad that

Jakku was just Tatooine again they should have put a hut in the snow planet I'll fight you just being like help um this the the voices she was ray was hearing the little ghost voices was that the sound like the were the screams of all the jedi kids that anakin i really don't know did anakin kill kids with that lightsaber or that red lightsaber no it's his lightsaber he only gets the red lightsaber

after he turns like actually gets turned into Darth Vader okay so he so the lightsaber Luke was using for a good time

was the one that he killed kids with yep classic fucking Obi-Wan being like hey Obi-Wan gives Luke that's

side note Obi-Wan gives Luke that lightsaber in such a weird way he just like chucks it to him no he's just like he's like hey

I found this oh by the way well I've got you here your dad wanted you to have this then he finds the message about Princess Leia

and she's like we need to go to Alderaan and he was like hey time to get some training about that lightsaber I just gave you

so if that message didn't play it was just like hey Luke have a fucking lightsaber I'm a sick one man have a beer champ Obi-Wan idiot all manipulative oh wait no so you're giving it a 9 you're saying it's not the Phantom Menace

and that's good as a Star Wars film 10 out of 10 I'm so asleep I'm realising I'm gonna like You know, we've gotta go and crash my car on the drive home That's gonna be a fun time Cause you live like an hour away I keep coughing for some reason

It's gonna be fucking beautiful I'm probably gonna crash on this couch Sorry girls that live here You're gonna wake up and see me in the morning Lucky them I'm gonna do that shit finally Sorry, girls that live here. You're going to wake up and see me in the morning. Lucky them. Lucky lasses. I'm going to do that shit finally.

All right. Yeah, probably. All right. Oh, that means we're going to have to fucking pack up the mics or you shit. I'm going to edit this motherfucker. Don't edit it. Not edit it, just top and tail it. Yeah, good. If anyone's wondering what we sound like unedited, this episode.

Yeah. Because I'm not doing it where does his long pauses there's no real long pauses there's lots of yawning there's so many yawning anyway Force Awakens

it was good wasn't bad wasn't trash was just a movie Nick Mason's not listening what but yeah because that's his thing

I know I know Steel Saunders I hope you're still alive after that film. Because you seem like a good guy, unlike Nick Mason. I wonder how he's dealing with the... Hashtag pro quips, hashtag anti quips. Hashtag Andy quips.

Hashtag all quips, no flips. Hashtag all quips, no flips. Hashtag Nick Mason's trash got a lot of options this episode anyway it's been an hour and a half it's time for me to go to bed on the couch and on that note I've been Joel

I've also been Joel I've been Jackson I hope you have enjoyed The Force Awakens waking up I have a bad feeling about the amount of sleep I'm going to get i hope that people are listening to this podcast before watching the force awakens being like do i actually want to see let me find out i still don't know that someone for some reason is waiting for us to do that

spoilers countdown before we start doing spoilers and then when i reveal that kylo ren is han solo's son they're still listening for some dumb reason. If that happens, email us angrily. Oh, with that said, though, the spoiler I don't think would really ruin anything because it's not a big thing. Oh, they didn't treat it like a big deal, no.

And it's very... It's very... It does look like, you know, very... It's just like, hey, here's the thing. I'm trying to say here. It's not like the usual

J.J. Abrams thing where it's like, ooh, twist reveal shit. There is no twist reveal shit. It's all where it's like, ooh, twist reveal shit. There is no twist reveal shit. It's all very open and like this is what's happening. Is J.J. directing the next one? Good. Don't answer that.

I can just research it. Whatever. Anyway, good night. Good night. I love you. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sandspantsradio.com. From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it.

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