Plumbing the Death Star - What Do We Think is Going to Happen in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice? (Feat. George Dima)

Episode Date: March 22, 2016

In which our heroes crash land on planet earth, lose their parents to a mugger, and then decide to punch on as they speculate what’s gonna happen in Batman v Superman. We talk about every other superhero film instead, delve into the injustice fan theory that makes Man of Steel better and start our very own Civil War. Duscher defends Spider-Man 3, Zammit really wants a courtroom drama, George puts all the blame on David S. Goyer’s need to be seen as a rad guy and Jackson just wants it to be the Super Friends. So line up for the midnight screening, get comfy in your seats, let us know it you’re #TeamJoel or #TeamJoel and hope that this (probable) train wreck of a film never slows down.Want to help Metropolis recover from even more collateral damage? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make a difference in the lives of Mr and Mrs Johnny Q Metropolis.To see more of George and to book tickets to his one man show head to http://www.georgedima.com. George & Co. (the solo tour) is running from this Thursday the 24th of March til Sunday the 3rd of April downstairs at the Grand Mercure, so come on down and we might see you there! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sandspan's Radio, scoop parrot hang gliding! Hey listeners, wanna have the freshest duds in the disco? Head to redbubble.com and search for Sandspan's Radio to find some sick threads to show off to your disco pals. Saturday Night Fever is a movie about discos. Hey everyone and welcome to midweek's special edition of Plumbing the Death Star where we ask the important questions like what do we think is going to happen in Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice?

There will be a moment where Batman punches Superman in the face and it's hard, and Batman's like, whoa. And his gauntlet will break. You know I'm right, though. You laugh and you mock me.

But you know what? There is no way in hell that won't happen. True, true. I don't know what's going to happen. I just hope it's a train wreck. Yeah, same here, basically. I'm so excited that this is probably going to be just one of the worst films I've seen.

Gods of Egypt. Maybe the second worst film I'm going to see this year. And I could not be more excited. Because, and correct me if I'm wrong, because I might be wrong here. The way they filmed it was that originally they were like, oh, it's like all of the cameos and shit were like, afterthoughts.

I sort of thought I remember reading that somewhere, like the production process of it was kind of a mess. And they were like, Cyborg now. Also Aquaman. But I hope those all come quick and fast at the end. Surely that's going to be a last minute sort of thing. Yeah, like they're like, we did it. We saved the day from doomsday.

And then it's like Aquaman shoots out of the water like a dolphin. They just see him in the distance. I wonder who that could be and then the flash flashes past yeah like rods about that's what I

kind of hope the end is like it's like very much like all the snippets of the Marvel films with Nick Fury is like

I want to recruit you just that just one after the other it's like we've got to wait you know make up for lost time yeah you know what would make like like this is jumping ahead but you know what would make one after the other. It's like, we've got to make up for lost time.

You know what would make, like, this is jumping ahead, but you know what would make the Justice League movie fucking phenomenal? If they called it the Super Friends movie. Wouldn't that be good? And I love, it's so irrelevant, but here we are.

I love that there was a period of time where the Justice League were like, look, we don't want to project like to threatening a visage. So we won't be the Justice League. like, look, we don't want to project to threatening a visage, so we won't be the Justice League. We're Super Friends. I think it works, though. It really does.

I'm less scared of the Super Friends than I am of the Justice League. If you're collateral damage due to an assault by the Super Friends, it just doesn't seem as bad. You're like, I'm sure they didn't mean it. I lost my husband in like the Justice League attack yeah that's the Superfriend fiasco that's how much I battle

it's kind of nice but yeah with Batman v Superman it's been in production for a really long time like it seemed like that after Man of Steel this was originally just going to be

a Man of Steel 2 and then they're like that's not going to work and then they're like maybe we should put Batman and then all of a sudden they're like maybe to work and then they're like maybe we should put Batman and then all of a sudden they're like maybe Batman should be

the main character maybe we should put a whole bunch of cameos in it maybe Gorilla Grunt maybe GG will turn up maybe maybe

now I'm only speaking a turn but did Man of Steel do like really well it did acceptably it made I think 700 million I think yeah

I think it would be about 660 I think something like that but they were anticipating I love that we know the numbers because we're so obsessed do like really well made about seven acceptably yeah made i think 700 million i think yeah but i think we're not 660 i think something like that but they were anticipating because we're so obsessed yeah but we hated it fuck man of steel it was so interesting because like it i think it did okay the first week then it sort of dived a bit and they're like fuck it's gonna be a disaster but then it sort of picked back up a little bit because everyone was like this is the worst and then once the entire internet was like this is the worst and people like no it's good yeah they know because your initial reaction was right it's bad no a lot of people don't like it that's what annoys me the same it's one of my worst films i hate that film we're like a passion of a thousand suns but yeah so warner brothers wanted it to make a billion

uh-huh because avengers had just made a billion yeah and they're like fuck yeah everyone loves superman and then it it made like it made money but it didn't make anywhere near as much money but see even that though to go technically for a second it's coming out with like they've got such an aggressive marketing campaign

hitting like all the foreign markets which just don't care what it is if it's got a superhero in it they'll go watch it so of course it's gonna make like it's a Superman movie

you'd expect it to make like that so it's like even this one if this doesn't make like at least 1.2 or 1.3 you gotta consider a train wreck like actually if this doesn't make like at least 1.2 1.3 you gotta consider trainer like actually if it doesn't hit a billion surely it will which only there's enough I know but like is it make enough money yeah but like is in the event it's Batman versus Superman who isn't gonna go watch it

think I'm bad it would have to be and like the thing is that even like we all know it's gonna be violent trash but we're like i want to go and i will see this movie because i was talking with you in the car jack it was this kind of idea of like i'm looking forward to this film because i just look it might we might be wrong it might be just amazing amazing film but i don't think so and i was like how all signs point the other way but yeah how badly is this going to have to tank for them to be like, we fucked up. We fucked up so much that all these other films that we actually have, we're shooting in production.

We now have to rethink because they can't. They've got Wonder Woman getting shot, right? Wonder Woman's the only one that's going to have to. Suicide Squad will do well regardless because it's got the same tone as like Deadpool had. It's got the same tone as like Guardians of the Galaxy where it's like Rack, Jack, Bonsai, Misfits The Gags, The Jokes

Quips. Motherfucking Quips. No, Deadpool was a perfectly fine 5 out of 10 film and it's all I'm going to say on that matter. Really? It was a perfectly good 5 out of 10 film. Deadpool was wall to wall quips. It was quips from day dot to final day.

End of days. From day dot to end of days. Deadpool was okay. It was a perfectly fine film. To see once. Yeah. Yeah. Every time Deadpool deadpooled at the screen,

I wanted to die. You wanted to be dead. It was a period of time to the end, and Zamet turned around and looked at me, and I was nearly on the floor. I was like nearly on the floor. I was so unhappy about that movie. So this is kind of going on. Were you guys Deadpool fans originally?

No. Just hated the whole thing of it. I think I just don't like Deadpool as a character. I like some of the comics and I think what I would have preferred more in Deadpool, I think what it lacked was a straight man. And I think that's going to be addressed in Deadpool 2

with Cable like a sidekick or something yeah and that's why Deadpool works best when he's a sidekick and he works really good when he's up against or bouncing off

someone else and you kind of need Cable to kind of be that person he bounces off which I think they're going to address in number 2

Colossus was kind of meant to be that but he's barely in it and I think the problems of Deadpool really just come down for me anyway with budget and budget constraints I think the problems of Deadpool really just come down for me anyway with budget

and budget constraints I think someone like Ed Goose might have been telling me about there's a comic where he teams up with Spider-Man and by just dressing up like Spider-Man to get away from someone

he's killing someone then the real Spider-Man confronts him and then Deadpool's like what do I do? what do I do? now I'm Spider-Man and see that's kind of the better kind of humor

and the better storyline you can have when he's bouncing off somebody. And that was sort of my issue with Depp. You shoot in every direction when he was just on his own. Yeah. Plus, the villain was the worst. Legit. It was also like my issue.

Marvel loves having shit villains, doesn't it? They really do. Like, what's been one? Abomination. He was alright. He was a champ. The Incredible Hulk is a pretty good movie. I enjoyed The Incredible Hulk.

Edward Norton? Fuck yes. Fuck off, Ruffalo. I like the Hulk. I haven't seen Hulk. The banner one. He finds Hulk dogs in that. The banner one.

His dad is the absorbing man. Yeah, as long as you look at that not as an action- silly flick actually a proper movie it's like it's so good I feel like Hulk and this sort of comes back to what

we're meant to be talking about I feel like Hulk and Superman Returns sort of fall into the same category where they're just not the superhero movie

that people wanted at that moment yeah everyone at that point wanted like punch-ons and like fun and both of those are like Superman Returns is more of like it's a love letter it's a love letter to the original series it's-ons and like fun and both of those are like well i remember returns is

more of like a it's a love letter it's a love letter it's completely yeah and like who does like okay i've got a huge soft spot for that original superman which feeds my anger well you know as soon as that music comes on at the start you're just like yes this is what i love about superman fun fact about superman Returns Superman does not throw a single punch the entire film That's awesome He just gets punched He gets shot in the eye doesn't he?

He gets shot in the eye by the machine gun He gets shot in the side with a kryptonite gun Stabbed Oh no, stabbed That's right With a kryptonite shiv

Yeah Is he in space prison? Nah No Luther's making new real estate It's fine it's exactly it's the original just redone but the problem there was the people who are seeing that

film probably haven't seen the original superman run or don't care enough yeah and so by making a basically a direct sequel to that you lost a lot of people yeah and that was a huge problem with it was sitting in a weird spot i guess because it was like the sequel to the second Superman movie. Yeah. They have hooked up, but then like ignoring the rest. And this was coming at a time just after X-Men 2. X-Men? X-Men 2.

And Spider-Man 2. And Spider-Man 2, yeah? Yeah, actually, because it came out in 2006. So I think it might have even been after Batman Begins. It was before Dark Knight, but it might have been after Batman Begins. It was before Dark Knight, but it might have been after Batman Begins. And so it was in this weird time where superhero films were just beginning to be like,

oh, these are good. These are good. We can do some cool stuff now. There's still a bit of whimsy, I guess, in the... Yeah. I remember reading, because when I first saw Man of Steel, I was like, what?

Trash. But then I remember reading someone being like, but what if it's not... And this was when the very early trailers for Batman v Superman were coming out. And it didn't show like any kind of like actors or Superman or Batman doing anything. It was just sort of like a picture of, do you bleed?

Do you bleed? False God. All of that. And they were like, what if like all of these movies are actually just leading up to the like, the, the, the, whatever the fuck Injustice Superman. And like the reason that every, cause like the Kents in Man of superman and like the reason that every because like the kent's in man of steel are just bullshit because they're just raising superman wrong but they were like people like me die son it was like a theory they were like what if that's the point

of the worst things i've ever seen but imagine if and about it so much we know it was it's so bad like okay i'm sorry i have to do this like this. So the whole movie revolves around trying to be realistic about him trying to hide his secret identity, which anyone can find it out if Lois Lane finds it. The government can't figure it out. It's straightaway ridiculous. But if you don't remember, there is a scene in this movie where Superman is sitting in Mark Kent's house in full attire

and Lois Lane gets dropped off by a cop car and runs up to him screaming, Clark, that actually happened. The cop car is sitting there. That's how lazy the director was about trying to hide his thing. That's just laziness. You could clearly not put that bit in. Are you taking the piss?

It's so ridiculous. It's up there with like, what do you call it? Spider-Man 3 when he walks around emo Spider-Man. Why? I don't understand why you're doing this. I have an answer for the Spider-Man 3? I don't understand why you're doing this I have an answer for the Spider-Man 3 one you so don't

I do so did he know he was taking the piss yes have you seen I like how I said I had an answer but no

I didn't cut off I didn't fuck you no because your answer is going to be in canon where I'm just going to explain why that scene as a director

he sounds like confident let's listen to your answer then I'll jump in it's because Peter Parker is not a cool man Peter Parker is a dweeb so the suit doesn't make you instantly cool it makes what you think is cool so for Peter Parker

going around doing jazz hands and shit is what Peter Parker thinks is cool and it works because he's not Peter Parker is not a cool man Peter Parker is not a crooner Peter Parker is not like a 1920s jazz singer, but he wants to be. And I love that.

That's what the suit, the symbiote suit tapped into. And so him walking down being like, hey, whatever, whatever, you know, it works in that situation. In that situation, okay. And I like that because the other way would have been like having him in like a black Armani suit, shaved down, looking really cool

wouldn't work it's what you think you want but it wouldn't it would that's such a power they don't address often in the comics though it's cool yeah he's cool as i played like it's sort of like you can't do that as a director though to make it so you like because you no one's gonna like you if he's that uncool like you can't have the main character. But then you go in the opposite direction and you end up with fucking Garfield. You're like, get off a skateboard, Spider-Man. That's not for you. I liked Garfield. Say what you were about to say about Spider-Man.

Bullies need to push Spider-Man's face. Garfield was perfect, though, as a Spider-Man character. He was a good Spider-Man, but a bad Peter Parker. No, he was a good... Oh, wait, yeah. Yes, he was too rad as Peter Parker. Exactly. He was too rad as Peter Parker. That's true. But Tobey Maguire was a good Oh wait yeah Yes He was too rad as Peter Parker Exactly He was too rad as Peter Parker

That's Yes that's true But Tobey Maguire Was a great Peter Parker But a rubbish Spider-Man But a weird Spider-Man He was on the knife edge Of Spider-Man

And then that emo thing Just threw him off And no one ever liked him again Spider-Man's meant to be a bully He's meant to be those weird Those quips Cause he's It's like

He's becoming the bully He's like a nerd That got pushed around And he's like Now I can push around the bullies But his uncle's like Hey Don a nerd that got pushed around and he's like, now I can push around the bullies but his uncle's like, hey, don't kill me. So he attacks with his words and I love that bit where he's like,

oh no, tiny knight is my weaknesses, which is perfect. Yeah, that's how he's perfect. And I feel like we've addressed this before and it's irrelevant, but I'm bringing it up. Why are all of Spider-Man's villains middle-aged men? All of them. What do you mean?

Almost everything's middle-aged men. They're middle-aged men all of them what do you mean almost everything's middle-aged men they're middle-aged men yeah what I don't know what the fuck I kind of want to bring up the fact that

Spider-Man is it to do with the fact that Spider-Man got abused when he was younger no because that came in later Spider-Man was fighting like middle-aged Green Goblin

middle-aged the Rhino it's like a teen fighting old men but wait like as in okay you're going to smash me on this I'm sure but like Batman

and Superman right is the majority of their people middle aged they're like middle aged men themselves

Batman not really Batman's mob bosses that's the middle aged men or slightly aged yeah yeah middle aged Italian men

it's history eye ties but then there's also like Joker who is like he's middle aged vague aged like you don't

sometimes he's never really young Plus there are like Catwoman Poison Ivy Harley Quinn There are a couple of like Old man villains

But Spider-Man Start at 40 And go up Like the vulture's like 70 Spider-Man's not Spider-Man's got female villains Like Black Cat He tries to fuck

He doesn't The only one I can think of Is somebody named Alice in Wonderland And she's in like one comic Anyway spider-man pretty much exclusively fights middle aged scientists and that's bizarre never knew that they were going for that market in the comics the older man going for the young boy i guess in spider-man like the only people are going to be bothered by man dressed as a spider-man is like a white middle-aged man. He's like, God damn it. Dang it, Parker. This city used to be different.

Not in my town. Also, just quickly going back to Spider-Man 3. Yep, go on. So, everyone seems to forget like it's directed by Sam Raimi. That scene is just so Sam Raimi that it's just perfect.

Like, he directed like the Evil Dead films. Yeah. He directed like even Oz the Great and Powerful, which is a trash movie, but if you watch that, you can see. So in Spider-Man 3, it's just like,

he was just let to be too Sam Raimi. And that's how you got that scene. Because like the Evil Dead movies, which are like horror films, have scenes like that. Especially like Army of Darkness, which is not really horror by the time Army of Darkness comes around

so Evil Dead 3 there's a scene where the main character is fighting mini versions of himself and he ends up ends up in like why wasn't that

in Spider-Man 3? it's like that would be an incredible scene it would work with Sandman as well exactly that's what I'm saying

he could have made a homage to himself is it Spider-Man 2 where Spider-Man's on the phone to Mary Jane being a dick and getting that weird girl to feed him cookies? That's three.

That's a fucking awesome scene. Spider-Man 3 rules. I forgot about just feeding him cookies. Always being all cool on the phone. It's confusing. That's the best. Spider-Man 3 rules. Finally, now that I have this ambient suit

I can finally abuse this power infinite cookies from this girl I love comedy gold oh man that's the thing I used to be like

against this movie then my mate went and watched it and he walks out and he's like man it was alright like basically it's just like

the most expensive comedy ever made that's fair enough then yeah oh that tickles me good anyway BVS Batman vs Superman this is gonna be like whatles me good Anyway BVS Batman vs Superman

This is going to be like What do we think is going to happen In Batman vs Superman Also what are our opinions Of every comic book Exactly I don't know how this works Well okay

I was going to say Is Man of Steel Something that is a good thing To base your franchise over That's what I mean It's crazy They clearly just were pot committed Yeah

And then they didn't know How to back out of it Like I feel like That's what we were talking about you injustice oh yeah

so I was saying that originally like there was this theory that and clearly by this point it's been debunked

it's going to be basic Superman but that the Superman of BVS was like like a Superman that had been raised wrong

like wrong by the Kents that he was like yeah good I have the power, so I should rule this Earth. And Batman was like, oh, no, no, no, no. And Wonder Woman was like, oh, I've seen what happens when gods try and rule the Earth.

Let's take down the Superman. Yeah. Shit. And that was like the whole... It's like a Red Sun version almost. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because I know you sold it to me being like, no, watch Man of Steel again, like an Elseworlds story.

Yeah. Is if Superman was raised by crazy parents who just believed in government conspiracies me being like no watch but man of steel again like an elseworld story yeah is if batman superman was raised by crazy parents who just believed in government conspiracies and that kind of shit and i was like i'm sold the trailer was out when it was uh mark and being like you don't know them a goddamn thing you're my boy and i'm like imagine that batman versus superman you have the superman who's like fuck yeah i don't know anybody anything yeah amazing and then it makes the man of steel make sense when his dad's like I'm killing myself

organized killing myself in a tornado is the dumbest way I'm gonna take this I'm gonna take this it's like they're doing all of this to say Hydra identity and then he's got Lois running up out of a police car screaming Clark when he's in his outfit with a policeman

and it doesn't make any sense. But yeah. I loved it. But okay, to go slightly technical again with that. So David S. Goyer, who was involved

in Man of Steel, he did all of the Batmans but I think he must have had more of an influence on the last The Dark Knight Rises which, side note,

we're going to go this tangent again, just trash. Two thumbs down. Two thumbs down. If you listen to Movie Maintenance this Friday, we'll have our version of Dark Knight Rises. Bit of a self-plug there. Two thumbs up.

Two thumbs up. That's who plugs you up. Two thumbs deep down. There'll be more plugs, don't worry. Yeah, but so, here's the thing,

this is why I look at it like, if you look at it as a script writer writing that, basically what he does, I think, and what he did with Man of Steel, he comes up with an idea of something cool that he wants to happen, and then he doesn't care about what the characters are or anything else, he just wants to get to the bit where something cool happens. So all of Dark Knight Rises, the characters and stuff, are pointless compared to,

we want him to jump out of the tower three times, and it's like, yeah, yeah yeah we want him to fight Bane a second time and punch him wouldn't it be good if he set the bat symbol alight on a bridge which makes no, he's like he's got a time limit before the fucking city blows up don't take time to douse it image is important

only shoot me from the left side brand day you're right though because David S. Goyer I was reading leading up to Man of Steel And after Man of Steel And when he was Talking about Avengers I think even David S. Goyer

Has made a few stabs At the Marvel films I might remember I don't think so You shouldn't No yeah He shouldn't He shouldn't

We have No no no Yeah Like yeah Making like jabs At them and stuff Anyway But yeah

And like talking about Suicide Squad and that And he's just like Yeah he's just Fixated on being a cool guy and like making cool movies. Is he just like listing like good set pieces that's happened? Is that what he's doing or what? No, he just like to have an idea.

What if Superman was dark? And then it's like, then the whole movie's got to be bad. Like even though it gets no sense. I'm going to write maybe 40, maybe more like 25 cool scenes. And then I give it to someone else and they do like the joining bit Sort of like he's like, hey, wouldn't it be cool if Batman broke Zod's neck and he's like, what if we just made a movie about that

See, because I think you don't set up Superman, the one we see in Man of Steel at least, and probably the one we're going to have here in BBS You don't want Superman Dark I don't want Superman Dark You know Cap America? In the first Avenger and even in Winter Soldier You don't want Superman Dark. I don't want Superman Dark. It doesn't make any sense. It's not the character. You know Cap America? Yeah.

In the first Avenger and even in Winter Soldier, that is one of the perfect Superman films, in my opinion, if you sort of take the characters, of being like, I'm a pillar of virtue and goodness in a trash world. In a world, yeah, yeah. And that is what maybe Man of Steel and maybe BVS hopefully is, but...

It's not always so. No, because it's going in another direction with it all. Like being weird. It's going the opposite direction with it all like because it's going it's going the opposite direction where it's like metropolis is turned on superman like false god and batman's like i need to punch him yeah gotta punch him real real bad it's just like because also batman has this weird thing it's in the trailers the voice this is um we're way too deep into this none of us have seen the film, obviously. We're just basing this off the trailers. Off the trailers and loud opinions.

And they're valid, goddammit! No, because there's a point, like, when Batman, like, Alfred is trying to talk Batman and fighting Superman, Batman's like, he says something along the lines of like, with all this power, if there's even a 1% chance he might turn on us, we must destroy him. Yeah, you're like, chill out, Batman. That's his view. That's the dumb... So, if you're

99% sure that this guy is a good guy, you still want to kill him. Well, I mean, technically, he's got a point. He's got a point, but that's not true. If you've got a 1% chance, but that 1% means that he destroys the world, then that is... If it's a 1% chance, but you can punch a guy, then it doesn't matter.

1% chance is way too high. A newborn baby comes out, you're given a gun, it's like there's a 1% chance, but you can punch, you can pinch a guy, then it doesn't matter. But like if it's 1% chance, well, no, okay. 1% chance is way too high. A newborn baby comes out, you're given a gun. It's like, there's a one in a hundred percent chance. It's one in, one in a hundred percent. You said it again. One in a hundred chance. One in a hundred chance this baby's Hitler.

You're probably not going to shoot the newborn baby. Probably not because I don't think every, the amount of. This is coming back to my fucking mutant argument You absolute fuck I'm not on his side I'm still a gift Just to clarify though I don't want to go saying

Let's not shoot Hitler One person doesn't define anything It's always a force that happens over time With a million factors Someone should try and change anything If you think Dusha How many people have existed in the world a force that happens over time with a million factors which is why someone should try and change anything and you if you think Dusha in terms of statistics

how many people have existed in the world plenty at least 100 more than enough I think it was like 20 billion or something alright so basically

1 out of 20 billion could be Hitler ok 1 out of 20 billion don't want to shoot any babies I mean I didn't want to shoot just to be clear I was opting for the

don't shoot the baby option Superman you got one of him. He's a very powerful man. There's been two. Oh, there's been two. He's got laser eyes. He's got at least a 50-50 now.

No, but he killed the bad one. Which makes him not good. I don't know that, though. As Johnny Metropolis, I have no idea. As John Q. Metropolis, what do you know about Superman? Two Supermans Superman'd each other in my city. It was brutal. I've got to say that the one thing I will say about this movie

when I saw the trailer, and it annoys me, because the same thing with Man of Steel. There are bits in it which are like, that's good. But then it's just... So it looks really awesome, that camera on the ground when Bruce Wayne's watching the fight happen. It's full 9-11 imagery. But I really, really thought that was an awesome way

to show that fight like that is you really feel like you're there like that that felt awesome but I don't like of course that's going to be two seconds

how are they going to open this film I hope I'll open with that because honestly I was 100% they have to one trailer I bet you a thousand dollars

see this is on air but watching that trailer because I was again being man it's still trash I hate it I hate it I hate it that trailer came out where again being Man of Steel trash movie hate it hate it hate it that trailer came out where it was you know Bruce Wayne being like

the fuck and him running towards the danger I was like I'm sold all my problems with Man of Steel you've solved in that one imagery of

Bruce Wayne walking towards the danger being like he fucked up the dust and stuff I'm like no I'm sold but then they're like

oh here's Doomsday I was like ah you lost me yeah that they're like oh here's Doomsday I was like ah you lost me yeah that second trailer was so bad after the first one also because

they've revealed that the bat Batman and Superman are going to fight twice the trailers have showed us that there's no chance you're going to have

a third fight because that doesn't make sense in a story arc then Doomsday one of them is a dream sequence

oh no then there'll be three one of them is a dream sequence which one because there's one in the rain there's the though oh no then there'll be three one of them's a dream sequence which one is because there's one in the rain there's the one in the there's going to be one in the rain

there's the one no there's the one where oh actually maybe it's the start oh because in the car when he comes up and he rips the car off and they face each other yeah that would be a different one

and then he's in the plane which is going to be the one in the rain yeah and then with Wonder Woman and there's going to be like a lot of fighting a lot of like wordplay

no because there's there's going to be Superman is going to be like quips there's going to be a fight I fighting, a lot of wordplay. No, because there's going to be a lot of... Superman is going to be like... Quips! I'm telling you guys. There's more quips. The first fight, Superman is going to embarrass Batman, but then walk away.

Like, it'll be a fight where it'll be very one-sided. Superman will win. Yeah. I'm making quotation marks. Superman will win, and Batman will go back furious, and then he'll make the armored Batman suit. I wouldn't be surprised. Kryptonite powered, surely.

It looks like it's going to do what they did in the comics. Which was Kryptonite powered. In Dark Knight, right? Dark Knight. It won't be a Kryptonite powered suit. It will be that the suit, because the trailer sort of- That's what it was.

City, yeah? Oh, wait. No, it is Kryptonite powered. It's Kryptonite powered, yeah, yeah. The thing that weakens Superman is Batman shoots him with an- He shoots him with something and Superman catches it and that thing is Kryptonite powered but the thing that happens the thing that weakens Superman is Batman shoots him with he shoots him with something and

Superman catches it and that thing is kryptonite and it weakens his powers that was Green Arrow shoots him with the here's an important

question at what point does Lex Luthor lose his hair I don't see it's an exciting part

that's for the third one that's Justice League gotta keep it coming back for something right if it wasn't like cause there are so many movies coming out

It's just like not a sudden thing Every film he's in with less hair They're planning that long They've got 20 movies ahead I guess I am Lex Luthor Well there's so many theories about this Lex Luthor Like it's Lex Luthor Jr It's a clone

It's fucking Because why would it be Not Lex Luthor Why would it be a clone Lex Luthor Jr Nah would it be a clone? Lex Luthor Jr.? No, fair enough. I don't want a young thing. That's fine.

A clone? That's odd. That's an odd choice. It'd probably be Lex Luthor Jr., but they might be like, rather than giving him a mother, they might be like, it's a clone of his.

I hate that. Why would they do all of this when it can just be Lex Luthor? Because this Lex Luthor was poorly received when they first revealed him. Even when they announced casting I love him

personally that's like so on board why are you letting people decide anything people are idiots like as in make the good movie and then everyone's

going to be won over this entire Batman v Superman movie is solely based on poor reactions from Man of Steel the entire thing yeah well they haven't

learned their lesson by the look of it because everyone was like Man of Steel destroyed the city that's not very super and they're like that isn't very superman you're right i did actually like the fact that that was another one i saw that was a cool feature of this new one the fact that they're addressing that addressing that yeah it's something else that's the problem something else is going up yeah it's like what if everyone's mad and destroyed the city but then he did a cool thing

What if there was a statue that said False god and there was people chanting It's like they did the trailer first And then they were like anyway What's the movie about Man of Steel had that All star superman trailer Man of Steel's trailer was phenomenal

Was it I can't remember that one Dark Knight Rises trailer and the False God trailer very fucking same. Both have chanting in it. Both are like yes sir man other ones like madlo madlo

bang bang bang that's fucking great. I actually did watch that Dark Knight Rises trailer recently for It's a good trailer. I do like watching trailers but it's a pretty good trailer.

And then both Goya yeah? Yeah. But Goya was all of them but I think he must have just gotten more involved. He worked with Christopher Nolan on the script for both of them all of them but I think he must have just gotten more involved he worked with Christopher Nolan

on the script for both of them all three but it seems like Christopher Nolan had checked out he definitely did yeah

I lost my good friend Joker I don't want to do this on a somber note I think he was actually planning to have the Joker heavily involved in the third one

yeah I think he had like a whole trilogy that kind of got shat in the bricks and so on I know that the book the adaptation of The Dark Knight

Rises deals with the Joker they just say that, cause like there's a prison breakout no Arkham, but it's like an island yeah it's only him, cause they realise that with the Joker the only thing that would drive him crazy is just being by himself, so there's like a paragraph about it and that's it

something I do like about the new BVS is that they've started it wrong no I love I love that too much because they're

building Marvel not Marvel DC better correct that one DC have put

so many eggs in a basket it's like putting all your eggs in a basket but the basket was on fire before you put

any eggs in it it's so crazy they weren't going into it with like a solid my eggs are melting like think about Marvel on the other hand it's like they had Iron Man

they didn't even know if Iron Man was gonna be that good and they're like oh Jesus Christ we can make a huge thing out of this and Marvel like really eased into it

at any point like up until Captain America they could have bailed on Avengers yeah but then they're kind of like they're like is this working

is this working oh my god oh my god oh my god have everything have everything and I was like oh Marvel stop no we're good

be quiet I liked when Marvel was being more subtle with their connectivity in films so that was the death of Avengers 2 right the fact that they

just went so hard on Avengers 2 hurt me and then Ant-Man just put the nail in the coffin see the build I thought

was okay oh no the Falcon V Ant-Man fight I was nail in the coffin. See, that's what I thought was okay. Oh, no. The Falcon v. Ant-Man fight. I was like, please, no. Yeah, but I was like, it's not great, but it was... Little people going down holes

is like my favorite. If Ant-Man had eaten a giant hot dog in that movie, do you know how happy I would have been? There was none of that. That's strange. So wait, is everyone here excited about Civil War then? Not really.

Just to suss this, I'm just seeing the vibe of the room. I actually got asked about this recently, So wait, is everyone here excited about Civil War then? Not really. I'm just seeing the vibe of the room. I actually got asked about this recently, so I'll put it into audio as well. It's got so long to go. There's like 20 years left. Get fucking ready. They're already talking about Avengers 4 and 5 and stuff.

This is my problem, and I think this is the problem I have with DC, is they're talking about 4 and 5. You cut me off before I'm cutting you off now. Fuck you. Civil war. Pick a side. And that's going to be the best reference of this.

I think my problem with DC is that they've based everything off one film. And Marvel, like, yeah, things have gone real good for you, but please don't give me your, like, rundown of every single film for the next 20 years like keep that to yourself and then just announce it as it comes along just be like what is it how nice is it they're like guardians of the galaxy and you're like what's this gonna be this is because they're like oh neat now they're like black panther and you're like well guardians of the galaxy made nearly a billion dollars and that's why they shit the bed because

they were like holy fuck well there's a release schedule from now until 2020. And that to me, I mean... We did like Guardians of the Galaxy at least, right? Oh, yeah. Okay, sorry. Clarifying where we're standing. Okay, I'll finish what I said before. Zamit really interrupted me and started our Joel v. Joel Civil War. Dawn of justice.

Team Joel. Hashtag Team Joel. Pick a side. I'm choosing Team Joel. Controversial. You're like the Spider-Man. I am the Spider-Man. Why don't you give me your shield for some reason?

Take your mask off. You want one side of me, I'm like yanking Jack. My arms! My weak body! With the Marvel movies, I really liked them as they came out up until Avengers. Like, I saw Avengers...

Really? I liked it the first time. I didn't love it. And then every time I saw it, I liked it less and less. But I saw it too many times. That was my fault. That's not on the movie.

I saw it like three times. Avengers 1, you're talking about now. Avengers 1. Avengers 1 was okay. I don't really like the first coming together I don't really like the Thor movies they're weak

Iron Man I could take a leave I liked them when I saw them but now 1 and 3 I love 1 and 3 are really good I think again who hates 3?

everyone everyone's like oh man I'm like nah it was the best 3's like an actual proper movie as well it's less

the least comic book-y and it's not full of references either which is good I like Iron Man 3 I'm taking back what I said about Iron Man but all the

Captain America movies I really really like Civil War worried me because I didn't like Avengers 2 I just thought it was too much like too many

things going on and then with the first couple of trailers for Civil War I was like fuck they're just making Avengers 3 but calling it Civil War

yeah I was surprised by that, they're just making Avengers 3 but calling it Civil War. Yeah, I was surprised by that decision. But then the most recent trailer got me fucking good. Because of Spider-Man? No, not even Spider-Man. Just because it gave me like a story arc. It made me realize that it isn't just going to be superhero punch on fest. Exactly.

That's why I'm liking it. It's the exact opposite of Batman versus Superman. It's well structured, planned, and going to be logical. And it looks dark, but it also looks like, like just little things that in other superhero movies wouldn't have

consequences. Just like the scene. And I know people have spoken about this a lot. Winter soldier just tries to like straight up, just shoot Tony Stark in the face. And the only thing that stops is the fact that Tony Stark has his Iron Man hand. But both characters in that very quick snippet,

you can tell in their face, like, they know the gravity of the situation. Like, Winter Soldier just tried to kill him. But then, like, in Batman v Superman, there's fucking lasers and explosions and everyone's just like... We know, like, how that's going to go down, yeah? It's going to be like, Batman's like, Superman's a threat to the city it's going to be like Batman's like Superman's

a threat to the city they fight then they're like we have differences they fight and then they're like oh no Doomsday's here they fight

they nearly get beat then Wonder Woman comes in who's been in the background the whole time fights Doomsday and they're like lol a girl and then it ends

and Aquaman's like you know well you know Zack Snyder's actually come out and said the trailer's been misleading and everyone's thinking that it's ruined the movie

but actually there's way more that happens please no unless it opens with Doomsday I will be very surprised okay so what

okay this is my getting back to the title of this episode 30 minutes in what do we think's gonna happen this is actually what I think I'll be the first to say this is how I think the plot

of the film is going to go it's going to open with I don't actually think it's going to open with the Batman

seeing the city crumble if it does it would be that Batman origin what sorry no they love flashbacks I thought you said

by erosion he watches the city erode by origin I said yes by erosion would be watching Batman watching waves

destroying my city one wave at a time I think the movie will start with something to do with Superman first and then it'll go title sequence

and then it's gonna go into the flashback of Batman and I think that'll be an introduction or that flashback will happen you'll get title sequence

then it'll be like Alfred talking to Bruce Wayne and then Bruce Wayne will flashback too it's gonna be fucking flashback yeah the flashback is not gonna be smoothly done just when things might be getting intense they'll throw it in there just

to take all the narrative away where are we what is this okay probably how funny would it be though if the flashbacks of Bruce Wayne in Metropolis just doesn't even happen in the film that was just filmed for the trailer That'd be amazing

Just a really punch in the face They just refer to it They're like Oh Oh okay It'll probably open with Lois talking

to Superman about something or Superman trying to No no They're going to do cliche stuff right It has to start off with a random act

of saving like that house that's underwater or something Sure it's going to start like every superhero movie you've got to start off with a random act of saving like that house that's underwater or something. Sure, it's going to start like every superhero movie. You've got to start off with a random act of being helpful. There's a bit where Superman is in the trailer where he's grabbing, I think it's like a space launch.

Yeah, that might be it. It'll open with a big action sequence. I just realised. A big saving things action sequence. Who's doing a space launch? Metropolis? Maybe Lax. Maybe Lax finds Doomsday on a comet.

No, Doomsday is going to be... Alright, i'll just quick i know i'm not like maybe that's how they bring in doomsday and zod was on the move so yeah i think it's gonna open up with superman saving so he'll be doing random saving and then random saving big action sequence title pull right? So you got that. You pull out. No, I'm going to steamroll you. Hashtag team Joel. No, hashtag team Joel. Fucking bring back my smear campaign 2016. So yeah, if you've got more lies to tweet about Joel Zahmet, hashtag smear campaign 2016.

I heard he kicks dogs. And cats. And children. I heard he kicks dogs and cats and children I heard he has children that he kicks yes I heard he hasn't even seen Iron Man 3 he just says he has because it makes him cool

when he says he loves it fuck you let me finish my movie alright title sequence then it'll be batman flashbacks then batman's gonna get real angry about something i don't know he'll flashback and then be like i'm furious and alfred's like don't kill okay actually just to ask one question here from the trailers are we all assuming that both batman and superman know who each other are at that point where they're talking to each other in that party. Yeah, they definitely know each other.

What if it opens up with the party scene? That'd be dumb. That would be the worst. They were just trying to pick the dumbest possible. They can't possibly do that. What if it opens with the laser hitting the building and Batman grappling away? Open with a dream sequence.

That'd be the dumbest but plausible. And he wakes up. That legitimately might happen. I'm thinking that would be the most that would be so there's no way there's no way

they could ever do that but it's plausible they could fucking do that it could be one of those movies where the dreams like you know like when sometimes movies have like a 15 minute scene

and then the title sequence it could be that they could try that oh my god oh how shit I'm pretty sure Man of Steel wakes up in a cold sweat

in the title PBS oh I hate it no I love it I hope so I want so bad we're going to the midnight screening Oh my god. Oh, how shit. I'm pretty sure Man of Steel. He just wakes up in a cold sweat in the title PBS. Oh, I hate it. No, I love it. I hope so. I want it so bad. We're going to do a midnight screening, and I think if that happens, I'm going to walk out. What do you mean?

That's when you stay to the end and be the best. I'm just looking forward to this movie so much. I went to bookended with that dream scene. Okay, so we're all assuming they know each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Carry on, Dusha. So I'm not sure about the first act. He's the nickname douche it's my

last name like legitimately my last name it's just a real bad one um just you know lost thanks German heritage it was probably like douche or something like that yeah and then they're

like let's uh Europeanize it so he doesn't let's Europeanize it but wrong yeah um yeah okay I'm not entirely sure the first act I know that it'll be Superman dealing with the fallout of Metropolis and Batman getting angry behind I'm not entirely sure of the first act. I know that it'll be Superman dealing with the fallout of Metropolis

and Batman getting angry behind the scenes. Yeah. The end of the first act, I reckon they're going to have their first fight and Superman's going to pretty much just be like,

fuck you. Come on, man. Like I'm from space. Yeah. I could end you if I want. I would assume probably in fact, I just thought of this then,

but probably Superman flying to Batman and stopping him because he thinks he's doing badly or do you reckon it's Batman hunting down Superman I reckon you're gonna get

Batman coming to Metropolis because it's actually that's a good point I haven't actually thought about that where the fight's gonna take place no it has to take place in Metropolis because they're

fucking Lex Luthor's fancy ball King Doofus King Doofus and King Doofus I reckon it's gonna happen the same night like they meet up

and then they meet up again later in their suits well you're not going all the way from Metropolis Back to Gotham to only turn your Batmobile around It's a little shit scene where Bruce Wayne is in his car just muttering to himself He's like I should have done it I could have said that

I will be home late I want to see Batman Chuck a sick Yui Yeah But I Sorry Yeah okay So they'll fight at the end of the first act

And Superman will be like Come on Is that going to be the threat Like the whole I'm going to rip off the Batmobile car And be like Don't Yeah

Quit it You're going to get like Something like him being like If I wanted Because he says If I wanted to just kill you I could have done that already yeah yeah

and Batman just getting more and more impotent yeah like and then you gotta probably get because yeah

obviously the Batman V Superman thing is going to be constructed by Lex you get that from like the trailers but then what I did not get that from the trailers. What?

I did not get that at all. Shut the fuck up. It's just a four syllable word for you. Something in little brains. Whatever he says to them. Whatever rude thing he says. Unnecessarily rude. Hurtful.

Superman. I feel like yeah Lex in the second act will start experimenting on Zod yep Wonder Woman will also be introduced

in the second act yeah they're gonna make me they're gonna make me unhappy I love Wonder Woman she's the B story that'll come in the second act

unless she's at the ball but the ball I think the ball could possibly be like yeah like you said they meet there at the ball and then they meet fight in the same night later like as in it's the one leads to the other after the ball could possibly be like yeah like you said they meet there at the ball and then they meet fight in the same night

later like as in it's the one leads to the other after the ball they have like a 1v1 me and the you know that's the whole idea of like

they do it once and they do it once again and then that's obviously where she gets introduced yeah what's gonna raise the stakes though so basically your first act is setting the whole

tone of the show so it's kind of like this is what's the state of the world Batman is Batman-ing around it's kind of violent which I reckon why the party scene might happen in the first act. Yeah, because that seemed like a pretty big moment.

I hope the party scene and they're like, oh, Mr. Aquaman. Have you met my good friend? How do I pronounce this? Have you met my good friend, Cy Borg? And my other good friend, Rick the Flash. So I reckon it's going you set the tone to be like this is where the world is, Batman is saving

everyone so Batman is doing that, you kind of have to set the tone because it's like an 8 hour film it goes to like 2 hours and 40 minutes and don't worry, there's an extended version coming to DVD and Blu-ray.

See why I'm tired, gang? See why I am so tired? All right. So it's going to be the first act. It's going to simply just be the state of the world as is. Yeah. What's going to raise it? Superman's going to be sort of on trial.

Okay. So you reckon because Batman's going to be like, no, he's not good. He's a piece of shit. Everyone's like, yeah, he is a piece of shit. Actually, what might happen is Superman will be on trial and then Superman will

sort of convince them that he hasn't done anything wrong oh yeah there was that trial scene Batman might be like punch on city that's gonna be the

start I reckon yeah that's another dumb way they could open it him marching down the courtroom now surely they're sure it's gonna

start with like both of them like this is the only logic way if you're gonna make a movie is like have one saving people one way and one saving people the other way to show the contrast in their styles does it sound like a way you would start a movie

I like it and actually it could do the thing where they start like at the start of the third act and then get to it later it could open with do you bleed no no no I never knew this was going to be how my day was going to end Guys, guys, guys

The whole film The whole film is a court drama And all of the action scenes We've seen are flashbacks Imagine That's why it's called Batman V And not first Because it's an actual trial

Yes I think we might have got something here Oh my god, I hope Man V and not first because it's an actual trial. It's an actual court battle. I would, you, yes. I think we might have got something here. Oh my god. I hope. If it is that I would. Mr. Superman. Yes. Where you recount the events of January 3rd and Superman's like and then it cuts into the flashback at the ball.

If that is what's happened I think I will stand up. Then that's a 10 out of 10 film. Yeah I will stand up and applaud for all two hours and 45 minutes That's a masterpiece That's great They should do that Yeah Oh my god yeah

Alright so What raises the stakes? I think what's gonna have to happen is Someone has to die right? Alfred injured? Not in the second Third act Superman accidentally

Injures Alfred somehow Breaks his back No Like the main No cause there's too much There's too much Alfred In the trailers For Alfred to be taken out I think Injures Alfred somehow. Breaks his back. No. No, because there's too much there's too much Alfred in the trailers for Alfred to be taken out, I think. So I'm talking jump from first to second.

Yeah, I'm saying second to third. But second to third is going to be some sort of I reckon second to third is the Zod shit. Surely that's how it is. Like, isn't that the final fight scene? Is that like? Yeah, but I would assume. Yeah.

But then I'm guessing it probably is like, no, it's not. You have like, yeah, but I would assume. Yeah. But then I'm guessing, no, it probably is like, no, it's not. You have to do a quick reedit. Yeah. Because, because that's when they introduced one dormant with that,

just appalling couple of lines where they're like, fuck you. They're not going to introduce Wonder Woman and then make it like three of them trying to figure out what to do about Lex. Like the last act. That'd just be such a stupid. It seems too long. Yeah. Like as in,

although it is two hours and 40 minutes. I also don't know how they're going to end it. Cause like they killed Doomsday. With everybody coming together and being like, maybe we should make some super friends. And they all just like high five. Cause is the idea the next one is Justice League? I think so.

It's no more leading. Well it depends because there's a Wonder Woman film in between, but that's a fun. That's like taking place in the past. But no, because it also takes place in the future.

Well, not future, but it's in like present. Yeah. So I don't know if they're going to set it. I wanted it to take place in the past and then they skip

the present. Wonder Woman, 2099. They're just doing whatever they can. She's in Tron. Flynn Rider. No, that was the guy from Rapunzel No Flynn Rider

Get your cyborg horse We have to stop the techno demon Nay Oh no it's Negazus That's basically what I want That's basically my perfect Wonder Woman movie Flash is back from having medieval times That's basically my perfect Wonder Woman movie That's hilarious

Flashes back to having medieval times There's a horse as well Two act structure First act First act is them in medieval times Having like boring Game of Thrones Politics Then somebody opens a cyber portal

And all It's all for young and old perfect film that's just my perfect I can't figure out how Batman V Superman is going to end apart from maybe Doomsday and them not being able to take out Doomsday and then you get the cameos and it ends

with them about to take on Doomsday that's crazy that's just blue balling everyone imagine if they end like Amazing Spider-Man 2 but which you haven't seen I know

do you care? nah could not care now it ends now it ends it's not still going it's not still playing it'd be so so good

if they end Batman V Superman with just like the Justice League coming together and they're just about to punch on with Doomsday and then it just ends

like yeah you know the old 90s X-Men cartoon yeah like the intro music to that and like how they like it goes flashing in and out

through everyone's and so you've got the line of like heroes and the line of villains and they're about to like punch on with X-Men like that but credits

I imagine that it'll probably take a leaf well maybe but from the um justice league unlimited 90s tv series because great tv oh that fucking music at the start when they're like wow wow and you're like oh my lord goodness me um because there's a doomsday fight in that That is basically what you're describing Not they nearly do it and then it goes to the credits But it's like doomsday's there and everybody gets a punch in And everybody gets a moment to shine

That'd be a terrible ending I think that if you wanted to make it good And I don't know if this is what will happen You would need there to be a cataclysm of some sort That would require a Justice League You know what I mean? Surely they come together in the Justice League movie they wouldn't have come yeah exactly I think the house trying to show crazy it might work yes of the stakes

way too much by putting doomsday yeah the fuck they might kill Superman see this is getting that that is an actual thing that might happen if I was Superman yeah doomsday in the comics kills Superman but that's death of Superman yeah but like that's just cause someone has to kill him

yeah but as in like that might happen cause everyone hates Man of Steel and like they know that and David Esquire loves cool shit

that people will talk about killing Superman you can't kill Superman I reckon you could kill him he's brandy no but you just gotta think about it like in the end

this is a corporate just like why the reason Star Wars sucked is because it's a corporate side note they killed Han Solo it's because it's a corporate

product in the end and they're not gonna get rid of the Superman product when they can sell a million freaking toys with him on it for another 10 movies I hope they get

Superman gets a little bit crippled if they kill him they will 100% bring him back not cripple so they're gonna bring him back straight away. Yeah. That's exactly...

What's wrong with you? Okay. You saw that in my eyes. I was like, what? That's still crazy though. Fucking Sam. I kind of give credit to that if they did that. Yeah.

Hey, we just had two... That's going to be a nightmare to listen to. What did you guys just say? I was like, I hope he gets kryptonite in the brain and becomes like Christopher Reeve Superman. Sam gave me a look as though to say crippled, and I was like, no, Zammett. Not that. What did you mean then?

I meant like real happy and like quite kind of like not a dark and gritty Superman. Oh, they re-brewed him back to like a guy who let his father die for no reason. See, if I was to set this up for a Justice League show. Do you want to hear Our conversation No no We divide the side conversations Alright Alright so we were talking about

That Death of Superman Might happen Because Doomsday killed Superman And then we're like They can't get rid of him Because of the branding But then we were like They'll just bring him back

In Justice League Like straight off the bat Of course Oh yeah that's true So they could do that too Or nah Do what they did in Death of Superman Four new Superman

Yes Think of the brand Man of Steel Oh and also So they could do that too. Do what they did in Death of Superman. Four new Supermen. Think of the brand. Man of Steel. An old black man who just has an arm. The steel armor. It's great. Has a hammer. Good time. Dropless kid.

In Death of Superman he also doesn't really die. He just goes and lives in a coma. He goes into a Kryptonian coma. And then he gets a mullet and a black suit. I hope they do that in Justice League. But also if they're going to kill Superman There would be a post that would be out already That would just be his cape On the stick They would have already

David Esquire would have They would have blown that load already They can't hide it yet They might have though He did claim that there's more to see yeah that's true see if I was doing what

to do this to set up for Justice League the idea would be to make Superman just side with Lex whatever the fuck happens Superman sides with Lex

and it can just be the Lex brainwashing or not nah I reckon Batman will side with Lex this is what you need the Justice League for you don't need the Justice League

to come against Batman you need the Justice League to come againstman right so it ends it'd be nice if it ended with superman being like nah lex is a hero on that metropolis that's way too right and whatever happens and he can blame batman for everything and then justice league is all about batman trying to get everyone to be like we need to to A, stop Lex Luthor doing whatever he's doing and also we need to stop Superman because he will destroy us

or at least try and convince Superman to be on our side. The struggle with that though is that what best... There's no examples of that, is there? Yeah, there's a...

For want of a nail, I think, is a comic where that happens as well as... Red Son. Red Son, yeah, but Red Son is Lex versus Superman.

That's true. But I think it'd be kind of cool if you're going to set it up to have some kind of cool things. But you've got to think

about the vested interest that Justice League has and they don't in Superman. The reason that Justice League come together originally is because aliens are coming and they're like, yo, whoa,

the whole Earth. Aquaman, that includes the sea. He's like, what? I'm useful? Yeah, which is, I don't know why

they wouldn't do that again. I don't know. I reckon you're not going to get Justice League coming together in this film, but they're fucked up because Doomsday is the perfect thing to having. Well, that is another thing that brings them together occasionally.

It's something I don't know about my lack of knowledge now because my Doomsday stuff... I thought Darkseid was more powerful than Doomsday. Oh! He is. Oh, Darkseid! But the problem of Darkseid is he's a Thanos. He's a Thanos for the

So you've got to leave it for later They'll do it Leave it for a bit later Yeah If they do it It's like you are copying Marvel too much And they're like But we did it first

Yeah But you didn't get there There did you No but Darkseid includes the old gods It's kind of different Like Jack Kirby's old Yeah yeah The old gods and stuff

And like fucking Moon Mama I know but I guess Darkseid looks a lot like Thanos they look similar looking but it's like a different kind of deal they could do it and then it would be

real bad because it would not work cinematically they have no problem changing characters that would have looked okay on screen Doomsday

into things that look like absolute trash Doomsday kind of looks like a Godzilla monster but like not the recent Godzilla monster

the 90s Godzilla monster he looks like a what sorry? not the recent Godzilla monster The 90s Godzilla monster He looks like a what, sorry? Like the Abomination Oh, the Abomination I thought you said a Kardashian It sounds nothing like Kardashian I was like, that's a weird joke I mean, yeah, sure, rip into the Kardashians, I guess

It's kind of taken a turn, hasn't it? So I don't know how it ends He kind of looks a bit like a Ninja Turtle as well But fucked He looks like one of the Michael a Ninja Turtle as well But fucked He looks like one of the Michael Bay Ninja Turtles Slash? Is that his name? Do you mean the musician?

No, the evil turtle The evil? No, I mean like the Michael Bay Turtle Yeah, I know, but you know there's an evil Ninja Turtle Is there an evil turtle in the Michael Bay Ninja Turtle? No, in the Michael But that's not what I'm talking about Is there an evil Ninja Turtle?

His name's like Snap or some shit Is he a snapping turtle? Basically, but he's an evil ninja turtle? His name's like Snap or some shit Is he a snapping turtle? Basically, but he's an evil ninja turtle And he's like that mixed with Michael Bay Snapping turtles are tortoises The ninja turtles are turtles Because they shouldn't end up looking the same I don't know the actual

Hashtag Team Joel Oh no Civil War Part 2 I would, yeah hashtag team joel oh no civil war part two i would yeah um but you're gonna have to maybe it ends with doomsday getting away and they fight another villain you can't have doomsday getting away he's too big you can't possibly maybe they pop him back in a portal but it's so they're literally gonna bring doomsday for 10 seconds and just kill him off yeah because that's like a big decision for one of the major super hipster men.

The only thing I can think of is that Doomsday slowly evolves into Doomsday, like starts off as a zombie Zod. Or goes back. Okay, here's some bullshit if it happens, I'm mad. So Lex Jr. or whatever is a clone of Lex. Lex Lugna. Yep.

And then, so he gets Zod, but it's not Zod that he turns into Lex Lex Junior So he gets Zod But it's not Zod that he turns into Doomsday He clones Zod and that turns into Doomsday So then he's got a whole fleet of Clone Zods he can turn into Doomsday I hate it I'm taking bets that one of the Zods goes wrong And is a Bizarro reference

I bet you're coke One of the Zod clones goes wrong And we get a Bizarro reference Who's taking me up on that? We don't? One of the Zod clones goes wrong and we get a Bizarro reference. Who's taking me up on that? We don't know if there are Zod clones yet. Nah, you're going to get a Bizarro. Or at least that there will be a Bizarro reference. Oh, they should.

They should, but in that movie. No, Bizarro can be done. Bizarro, you set up a really ridiculous world but then it ends up like, because in All-Star Superman, they get like a touching Bizarro. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because you get like. It's quite nice, yeah. It's quite very nice. Yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's quite nice. It's quite very nice. Yeah. They could do something like that. I mean, like Man of Steel was apparently meant to be All-Star Superman. No, it wasn't. I mean, they said that a lot.

They're like, it's really inspired by Earth. No, not Earth One. Because Earth One is what I think Man of Steel actually is based on. They said two comics. They're like All-Star Superman and something else. And then it ended up being almost like a shot-for-shot remake of an other comic that they never mentioned in production whatsoever good job idiots classic yeah classic why is Wonder Woman there because I love Wonder Woman and I feel like they're gonna take a body shit on her in this film no I feel like that she is going to... You have to mention cheating on Wonder Woman. She would not be happy.

She's going to be a Black Widow-esque spy. Oh, that's so gross. No, I hate that. That doesn't make sense, though, because she's coming in to, like, suss everything out. She's, like, centuries old in this movie. I feel like that she's... Yeah, I feel like she's going to be brought in, because she'll be, like, Lex knows...

Like, she knows that Lex is fucking around with... You reckon it was more like she's checking out on that Lex is fucking around with you're gonna be more like she's checking out on Superman will she be magic will she be Kryptonian

if she's Kryptonian magic is so good Kryptonian what that's a that's a theory maybe even confirmed that Wonder Woman

comes from like an ancient line of Kryptonians you know in Man of Steel right back in the day you know in

Man of Steel where he goes to Antarctica Or the Arctic Either one I forget Get them both confused Where he gets a ship Goes to a ship

And there's a ship there right That That is a Wonder Woman ship The Wonder Woman came off that ship Yeah Which is the worst Because the big DC3 Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman

And he goes there And he's like hey Give me my under And he's like give me my under ruse And they're like here you you go. It fits perfectly. I'll do that. Who knows? Go Superman away. Fuck, I hate that film. Yes, Jackson?

What I was going to say is that in the DC Universe, the big DC3, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, work like rock, paper, scissors. And if you make Wonder Woman not magic, you get rid of that rock, paper, scissors. Because magic fucks up Superman. Superman can't cope with it for some fucking reason. and not magic you get rid of that rock paper scissors because magic fucks up Superman super good Superman can't cope with it

for some fucking reason magic the vague thing that is because he's powered by science yeah the Avengers 2 that's true so like

Wonder Woman fucks up Superman Superman fucks up Batman Batman fucks up Wonder Woman but Wonder Woman's definitely like that because she's got the shield and she's blocking and they're like

who'd you come with like obviously that's after her revealing her powers that's true well maybe if she's like but like I feel like that we probably got

like us as the audience will see Wonder Woman before that scene like I feel like we'll see her doing sneaky wandering stuff solo shit for a bit not too much

because there's already going to be heaps of solo Batman heaps of solo Superman yeah I think that'll be the reveal I reckon yeah because like where do they show it yeah. Yeah, I think that'll be the reveal, I reckon. Yeah.

Because where did they show it? Yeah, I suppose. That's dumb. That's a dumb reveal. Unless it's like, yeah, she's interacting with everyone and then it follows her for a bit and she does something. Sort of like how in Civil War, the Civil War trailer, there is no chance that's the first appearance of Spider-Man.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, that's his second. I mean, that's probably the first appearance of his new suit because he'll have a shitty, like, wrestling suit. A shitty homemade suit. And then he's going to have... I don't know how they're going to squeeze that in him. Although, apparently it's 15 minutes. The whole movie's got Spider-Man in it.

What the fuck? Cool. Yeah, so that's what I'd heard. How great. Just having a thought. They just chucked him in. That moment where Wonder Woman's like... Not Wonder Woman.

Spider-Man's like, all right, I'm going to be a wrestler. And then there's a moment there where he becomes a superhero. If it had turned in the opposite direction, Spider-Man had just been a wrestler. He was like, no, this is for me. So in the MCU, like for the last, say, X many movies, Spider-Man has been in the background as a wrestler. And then Tony Stark's like, hang on a sec.

That's not a wrestler. That's a real good wrestler. That guy has powers I think But he's just wrestling Does Uncle Ben not die in that universe? He doesn't Uncle Ben would survive if Spider-Man had been a wrestler Yeah exactly

If he'd just taken up his wrestling career Uncle Ben would still be alive He was good at it No in Okay in the first Spider-Man movies So the Tobey Maguire ones If he stayed a wrestler and he was like, I won't get paid for tonight's fight, that's fine.

Uncle Ben would still be alive, yes. That's the fucking best. In Amazing Spider-Man, though, I can't even remember. No, Uncle Ben gets shot in a dumb way. I can't even remember how. It's only vaguely related to Spider-Man's wrestling career. I don't think it has anything to do with it. That's sad. Spider-Man's wrestling career I don't think it has anything to do with it yeah I think it's that's sad

Spider-Man's always like Peter Parker's like or is it when Spider-Man's fucking around in the factory

Uncle Ben's like you didn't come home I had to go get your mom's your nan's bloody pills or some shit

yes nan Peter Parker wants to be a comedian that's like the whole shtick in his comic

he's like I wish I was a comedian that's never been mentioned in the movies that makes me sad same how better would it be a comedian that's like the whole shtick in his comic he's like I wish I was a comedian that's never been mentioned in the movies that makes me sad same how better would it be though if his like real dream

was to go back to wrestling yeah he's like I love the thrill of the hell in a cell it's like the rock is the real hero the theatrics everything

yeah he loved it he's just like I kind of miss that I want to see that as an arc just be like just in the comics not in cinema because no one would love this as much as me arc just be like just in the comics not in cinema because no one

would love this as much as me but him being like I'm giving up being Spider-Man what are you going to do I'm going to become a luchador

I'm going to become the actual world's best wrestler because I'm cheating completely unfair how do you think they'll do the different cameos

because as much as we'd like Aquaman to be a dolphin I feel like that's probably not going to happen do you reckon he could be walking around do you think i'll actually have him like at that ball okay who's in the ball because there's gonna be a lot of a lot of cameos in that ball i reckon who's getting revealed apart from aquaman is cyborg

getting revealed as well yeah yes i think everyone's getting a green lantern name any jla hero probably in that film i don't think green Green Lantern's in it. I'm pretty sure he is. Because I haven't cast him. Oh, then he's definitely not in it. I reckon, I thought he was. Flash has his fucking suit in this movie, which means you're not going to get a Wally West cameo. You're getting The Flash.

Oh, wow. I didn't realize Flash was in it. No, see, that's something I like about, like the one thing I like about BVS is that they've started us like 20 years in. And that's nice. They're not like, oh, look, he's becoming a Flash.

You say that, but we haven't seen this movie yet. Batman certainly is at the end of his career. Wonder Woman, she's been around already. Superman's new. Superman's new. Flash could be new. Cyborg could be new. Green Lantern Corps could be new.

There's no way they could do a review, like an actual origin of all those characters, surely. Cyborg is going to get injured in one of the fights. And that's how he's going to become a cyborg. Right. Nice. We don't see him get cyborged, but we see him lose an arm and a leg.

So they could actually all be in the fight scene at the end. So that's a cyborg. That's how you get cyborg-ian. Flash? I don't know. Flash, though. Just turns up. Look, real fast. Zips by the camera up real fast

it's just like a flash of red ricky flies over the background get everyone at once because what's flash that's coast city yeah yeah central city central city coast is uh green yeah yeah coast city's green lantern green lantern okay green Lantern. Like, these might not be, like, full-on actual cameos. It might just be like, oh, it's like... Like I said, I don't see Green Lantern in the background. The news comes out, it's like, oh, Superman, Batman, defeat thingy, and it shows the Flash trying to... He's like, ooh, that's cool, and it keeps running, and that's it.

Exactly. That kind of cameo, yeah. Something like that. Flash maybe, if he's not just a cameo, but if he's part of the thing, maybe come in at the very end and sort of like punching he delivers the final punch to doomsday out of no way

post credits thing will they? that's a curious little fucking that's very marvel would they nick that or would they be like was there one in Manseel? no well as someone who works in the cinema I would be very very angry or would they be like look was there one in Manseel no hopefully they don't

well as someone who works in a cinema I would be very very angry because regardless of what happens everyone's gonna fucking wait to leave it anyway

no matter what fuck I hate that Marvel has set that precedent I know please let me leave they tried to change it a bit so they're like

I would put it in the credits but then they started doing two and then they fucking fuck off you've ruined my life, Marvel. The worst thing is, you're like... I'm trying to do my job, and people won't fucking leave the...

Next session starts in eight minutes. There's 150 people in here. I'm going to clean up a lot of popcorn, Marvel. Exactly. If there are no post-credit things, would you actually be tempted to walk out and be like, there's nothing after the screens?

If there's nothing after the credits, I try and walk around people as much as possible, because people usually ask if they see a staff member, and I'm like, oh, no If there's nothing after the credits, I try and walk around people as much as possible because people usually ask if they see a staff member and I'm like, oh, no, there's not. I have said that before when there has been. Sorry. Make sure you say that at every opportunity. It's low.

No, it was for a movie where the credit sequence didn't make any, made no difference. Guardians of the Galaxy. X-Men. Doctor Dolittle. It might have been X-Men 3. Yeah. I was like 50.

But like so many of the post-credits sequences, I'm never... Because he comes back to life. He comes back to life as his brother. Yeah. Who looks nothing like... That wasn't his brother. When did it say X-Men 3 was his brother? I don't think it ever says brother.

Isn't it his twin brother or something? No, it's just like a dude who has no brain. He's just got brain dead, yeah. And it's the worst mutant ability. Oh, break. You keep saying it's his brother, but I'm like, I don't think it was his brother. Do I keep saying that?

Yes, you do. I picked that up from someone. Yeah, I didn't pick that up from someone. And I don't want to watch X-Men 3 again to either confirm or deny. Nobody does. Watch Spider-Man 3 instead. I think what would be the most difficult

cameo of the cameos Flash is gonna be Cyborg's pretty easy no Flash would be easy because they can just have him come in at the end and it's like whatever

Aquaman because Aquaman requires so much explanation but we know he's been caught so he doesn't actually need to be Aquaman in it it could just be literally he just sees it

he's walking around yeah but I feel like you're gonna need Doomsday gets thrown to the ocean he's there on his throat hang on reading a book hang on whoa we joke but there's legitimate chance that but superman could be like we need to get him because that's the whole thing in death of superman he's like we've got to get him away from metropolis he legitimately might put doomsday in the sea Imagine I hope that the cameos come from They're like we gotta put Doomsday in space

Green Lantern Doomsday in the city Aquaman Doomsday in Central City Why did you think this Why was I your third choice Like we joke But there's so much distrust

With David Esquire that all of these are legitimate Things that could happen. It could actually happen where every person gets introduced and they flash back to their origin story. Oh, yeah. Five times. Oh, my God. You know what it could be?

Flashbacks. You're right. That flashback to the Metropolis fight, you could have it cut to everyone and see how they were affected by it. Oh, man. So dumb. I like the idea of like...

That's not so... How about this? I guess it's just because they all happen to be in Metropolis at the same time. That is very strange. I can't believe my cousin's wedding. God. Ricky the Flash, you were cordially invited to your cousin's wedding in Metropolis. How good would it be if they flash back To like Batman watching

All this shit In Metropolis But then it flashbacks In the flashback Back to when he was like Maybe Robin's dying I don't know

Is Robin in it? Nah Cause they've got the suit They're in the suit But I don't think he's showing Robin's already dead So it's gonna be a Batman Where I feel like

That's probably just happened And that's why He's all real sad Nah I think it's It's supposed to be like It happened a while back Cause he's old He's old but he's also just happened and that's why he's all real sad no I think it's supposed to be like it happened a while back he's old but he's also plus the things it's like he's already gone to the trouble

of putting Robin's outfit inside a glass cage oh not just happened I don't mean it didn't happen on bloody Tuesday and this actually ties into Suicide Squad so the Joker's still alive Batman is in Suicide Squad is he? he's the number one member

he's in he's in one of the trailers he wants to die he's on top of Joker's car I don't know if someone dressed up

as him different Suicide Squad I'm so pumped for Suicide Squad I don't think people dressed up as Batman I'm excited as

fuck for Suicide Squad I'm not Deadpool hurt me too much your most stupid time Will Smith Will fucking

Smith I like Will Smith. Will fucking Smith. I like Will Smith in that movie though. He's just like, all these fucking got blokes breathing fire. Some ladies just fucking going. Off jobs. I just want to shoot people. It's weird. Suicide Squad.

Speaking of Suicide Squad and magic, like I was earlier. So the probable villain of Suicide Squad, given my knowledge, is Enchantress, who is magic. And plus, one of of Suicide Squad given my not great Suicide Squad knowledge is Enchantress who is magic and plus one of the Suicide Squad members no I think it's not Enchantress has a magic sword that has a soul in it

so like how are they going to reconcile that? Also El Diablo breathes fire yeah but they could be like lol it's a matter human who gives a shit? Because they keep going for that don't they? They keep trying to make it gritty and realistic and then magic just flies in the face of that completely so i mean i hope there's magic i hope wonder woman is just sort of like the gods and zeus she can just be powerful though she doesn't have to be like magic magic that's the

best one i just i just want them to think about this the less i can think of like a cohesive plot yeah right all this like stuff we know about it, we're like, how are you going to climb that in? How are they going to fit all of it in? Because you need Batman having a sad time looking at the Robin suit being like, I'm so sad. You need to show that he has gotten really violent with the criminals,

which is how the last trailer opens. Yeah, it could start with that scene. It's got to do Superman and Batman opening like one than the other or dream sequence. You've got to have Superman. Or courtroom. Or courtroom. It's an easy way to introduce your cameo. your cameo a few ways it can go you have the lawyer come up and be like I call Rick Flash to the stand oh fuck I just realized why I started calling him Rick the Flash because Ricky and the Flash the Meryl Streep film the recent Meryl Streep film where she plays an

aging rocker who neglected her family to be a rock star and then she's like, maybe I love my family again. Then she goes back to her family. I don't know, I haven't seen it. No, spoilers, don't tell me. We'll go see the midnight screening of Batman v Superman.

You stay home and watch Ricky and the Flash. Find out if you still love your family. We'll let you know how the movie goes. Deal. I think Jack's probably in for a better time to be honest Meryl Streep is amazing yeah she was in talks

to get nominated for an Oscar before the film came out then the movie came out and people were like probably not that's awesome that's great well yeah

I legitimately can't think of a cohesive plot I can't think of a cohesive plot and I can't think of an ending Doomsday dies yes and lose yeah yeah Doomsday dies because you can't keep Dooms crazy plot and I can't think of an ending. Doomsday dies. Yes, they lose, yeah. Yeah, Doomsday dies because you can't keep Doomsday alive.

Because if you do... Maybe they put him on ice. How about he dies and then there is a post-credits sequence of his eyes opening again. Yeah. Godzilla style. A baby one pokes out of an egg

like the 1999 Godzilla film. But I guess what does that mean about like, so is Lex going to be dealt with or is he going to be still running around for justly Lex I think will still be running around at the end I feel like the Doomsday will probably be defeated but Lex won't be I hope they go the whole Lex for president and then he's got a plan thing going on and that's how it finishes

I hope first credit sequence is just him doing fingers it's just the first step in my plan exactly pulls a Thanos or he's like that was step one of my 50 step plan and then his hair falls off. That's step two. Unless Doomsday is a distraction.

Doomsday is a fucking big distraction. That's my point. It's like, unless Lex is like, they're fucking around with Doomsday over there. I'm going to do something over here. Fucking diehards this year. It's like like while they're fighting doomsday Lex Luthor

robs the Monaco back I also think I think that I think I don't know if this counts as a spoiler

it was a toy I think and also I'm not even 100% sure if this is true so maybe a spoiler

maybe a spoiler if it's a spoiler shut your eyes right now I'm pretty sure Lex has a mecha suit in it oh for real

no way there's gonna be a lot of things going on there's gonna be too many things if Lex has a mecha you can't

you can't you definitely no no I want it now though I want him bald and like driving maybe just to get away he jumps in a mecha suit

and flies off it'd be pretty funny if they do the X-Men like rebooted thing where like everyone's like Lex is gonna lose his hair. And then eventually, three movies in, it'll happen. Everyone will be like, oh, finally.

Maybe Lex just goes through a difficult breakup. And then they finish and he just shaves his head off just to be a new man. They use the original Lex origin story where he hates Superman because Superman made him bald. Yeah. Or the Smallville one where that comet that gave everybody in town,

like when Superman's baby rocket gives everybody in town powers, all it does to Lex is make him lose his head. And that's good. That's the best. It's like, oh, this woman can control water. This man can, like, fire plane cars with pinpoint accuracy. Lex is bored. Smallville's fucked.

Sick. Also, I think Lex has a kryptonite ring that makes his finger fall off That's pretty good From kryptonite cancer That's rough Is he just like so human that anything kryptonian is just bad for Lex? He's too human That's Lex's problem

That's his superpower He's the perfect, well not really, he's just very human Well I think we've pinpoint like like fucking I can't even talk

I think we've nailed it I think we've got the film with pinpoint accuracy after this you don't need to see the episode

because I am 100% sure we've got every part of it yeah yeah I think we've nailed that there's gonna be it's gonna open with a dream sequence

or a courtroom drama both if any of those happen I'll be so happy. I hope there's at least a good third of the movie is set in a court. That's my hope. I just hope a third of it's a flashback. Third of it's a flashback, third of it's a court, and a third of it is just all the cameos at once.

That's the perfect film. Which then, post-credits sequence to Wonder Woman 2099 fighting Neger Zeus in the cyber zone. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. And I've been George. And you've got something coming out soon,

haven't you? Yes, I've got a show on for the Melbourne Comedy Festival. So if you want to come along, it's at 7.15 at the Grand McHugh Hotel starting Thursday till April 3rd, Sunday, following Sunday. Thursday the 24th? I should say that, yes. Thursday the 24th, yes. March till? April 3rd, which is Sunday.

Sunday. And the name of your show? George & Co. And then in brackets, The Solo Tour. All right. My God, you guys all got it. I love you guys so much. So many people do not get that straight away. I don't get it.

I don't understand. Explain this joke for me now. Yeah, people are like, who's the Co.? And I'm like, every time. And also, if you want to check, yes, www.georgedimmer.com.

That'll be a guide as well. There was that plug I was mentioning about that's called shelving awful shadowing shelving let me tell you about another form of shelving

that's another thing we're talking about now alright there's a scene where Batman has to shelve like a bit of kryptonite he shelves kryptonite and that's how he wins the fight

he just didn't expect this Superman just give me a sec hang on I gotta you're in trouble He just didn't expect this, Superman. Just give me a sec. Hang on, I gotta... Listen, if you don't know what shelving is, ask your mum. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sandspantsradio.com.

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