Plumbing the Death Star - What Do We Think Is Going To Happen In Rogue 1?

Episode Date: December 14, 2016

In which our heroes talk about their expectations about soon-to-be-released Star War film about people of ill-dispute and numerical values. We talk about trailers, the problems with franchise films and what they could do that would make us hate it. Zammit immediately reneges on his own rules, Jackson wants to make things brighter, and Duscher just remains smug. So sit back and listen to us talk about about a galaxy far, far away that’s a little bit more back into the past than what we’re used to.Want to help defend third world countries against an Iron Man? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can start building defences.Everything is 20% off at https://sanspantsradio.podkeep.com including all 25 episodes of Hus Firma Pride! If you’re after a USB tape head to https://audiobooksontape.com or it’s a tee-shirt you’re after check out our store at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradio. In Sydney in Feb? Why not come see us live! Book your tickets here; http://edgetix.com/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Thank you all for being bloody amazing. And now, enjoy the show. Hey, everyone, and welcome to this very special midweek edition of Plumbing the Death Star. I almost said Sam Spence Radio because I got distracted because Zamit dropped his microphone. I did. I bumped the table. It's on a stand. You can't drop it.

You can knock it. Anyway, go on. Sorry, Andrew. Well, we asked a question. What do we think is going to happen in A Star Wars Story Rogue One? Or Rogue One A Star Wars Story as the actual title is. Rogue Star Wars Story One. One story. One story.

One story, many rogues and a few Star Wars. Honestly, I don't know what to expect. I have seen a hot zero trailers because I am refusing. I think, I don't know when this happened, but I'm like, I just refuse. I refuse to watch trailers for stuff now. No, it was, what was it for? Was it for maybe Doctor Strange? It was before Doctor Strange.

You were just like, I'm done. I'm done. Because I remember being, no, because I remember you watched the Mummy trailer. Oh, yeah. And you were like, you had some justification. Whatever. Like, I was never going to watch watch this anyway but now i'm on board i'm so gonna watch the mummy although like um i think the homecoming spider-man homecoming trailer i was like ah not not gonna no maybe i will oh that's good that didn't get me like you got everyone else yeah no i liked the original

like the teaser of the teaser yeah same this one i was like yeah i get like it just seems like more marvel shenanigans but i also didn't like the logan trailer so what yeah it's garbage everybody just likes johnny cash's hurt remove johnny cash's hurt from that trailer it's not that good i like nine inch nails version battle so that song didn't get me i just think the i just think the trailer was good. Anyway. Anyway. So, yeah, I haven't really watched Rogue One trailers. I've seen some trailers. Because, again, I just think a lot of the times things just get spoiled by trailers. And those cool moments, you're like, sick. And you're like, oh, I've already seen it.

Could you imagine watching, like, say, Man of Steel without seeing the trailers and seeing that moment where fucking Superman blocks his bullet with an eye? Oh, it would look great. That would be cool. That was Superman Returns. Oh, it would look great. That would be cool. That was Superman Returns. Sorry, Superman Returns. And I guess like you think about like Civil War,

if we'd seen Ant-Man become Giant-Man in the trailers, you would not have had that like dick splattering moment when it happened in the cinema. Like in Doctor Strange, if the... See, I liked Doctor Strange. Me too. I liked Doctor Strange. It was fun while I was watching it.

It was a very forgettable film. But that first time where he goes into the multiverse or whatever the fuck it's called, I was Doctor Strange. Me too. I liked Doctor Strange. It was fun while I was watching it. It was a very forgettable film. But that first time where he goes into the multiverse or whatever the fuck it's called, I was like, Jesus Christ, this is the best scene in a Marvel film. So, yeah. I have seen trailers, but I honestly just don't really remember them.

I remember, like, smatterings, and I know the basic plot, but, like... All I know about this film is that it's a heist film set in Star Wars, and I'm keen. A heist film set in the Star Wars. about this film is that it's a heist film. It's set in the, set in star Wars. And I'm, I'm, I'm keen. A heist film set in the star Wars. That's what it's all about.

Well, obviously, I mean, we do this all the time, but obviously we haven't seen the film at this point. So there's no spoilers. Yeah. You look so tight.

It's all, all conjecture. That being said, almost everyone will die. They'll get the death star plans and the main character probably won't die, but she'll have to go into hiding for some particular reason. I kind of hope they all die. I hope they all die, but for a different reason.

I hope they all die because what a strange end to the movie. I hope they all die at once, I guess is what I'm saying. Death Star gets them good. So they've already come out and said No sequel, which is fucking good I am kind of sick now Of the current trend that we have in Marvel, DC Star Wars and even fucking now

At Harry Potter Before the one film comes Even talking about Spider-Man Here's a trailer, by the way, we're announcing number two Spider-Man Homecoming 2, 2019 Get geared motherfuckers Let the first one come out Like, here's a trailer. By the way, we're announcing number two. What? Spider-Man Homecoming 2, 2019. Get geared, motherfuckers. Let the first one come out.

But like, same thing with fucking Fantastic Beasts and Where They Go Now. It's like, don't tell me you've got five in the works. Show the first one. Then after, like, oh yeah, we've got a sequel coming out. Let me get excited every time when you announce another one. Yeah, I'm with you. But I guess with Spider-Man Homecoming, like, you knew another one was coming. Of course we knew it was coming, but don't fucking tell us. I don't know. I was aware. I liked it. it was coming, but don't fucking tell us. I don't know.

I was aware. I liked it. I was aware, but why tell me? Shut the fuck up. Studios get so excited now when people get positive feedback to their trailers that they just go and announce a sequel. It happens all the time now.

Yeah, like what? They drop a sequel, like they drop a trailer and everyone's like, fuck yeah. They're like, best movie we've ever done. Green Light, eight sequels. Ah, exactly. Bloody done it.

We're making another cinematic universe that's just this spider-man separate brand new everyone in spider-man i just i just wish they would just give us all a bit of time to breathe yeah and like this is why i liked um fantastic beast it was it didn't sell me on the next film yeah yeah and this is why i kind of uh have a little bit annoyed at some of the marvel films of recently that then especially dc films is that they're they're selling me on the next film and i'm hoping that well the marvel films don't do it too much because all of the marvel sequely selly stuff is always post credits which i don't count as yeah because you're like you're expecting you if you got a post-credit scene that didn't tease the next thing you'd be like why yeah because there's always which

i think happened in one of the guardians yeah guardians you're like what's coming next what huh what a duck i'm so confused how the duck the man thing connection just saying bringing it back so rl stein's writing man thing comics i know he's all exciting times movies never tease a sequel never teased a sequel but always announced a sequel. Fast and Furious. Also, speaking of Rogue One,

Fast and Furious 8 is coming out soon. Fate of the Furious. Fate of the Furious. Vin Diesel's gone bad. Have you seen the trailer? It's insane. Did you know a horse

died on set? What? From a flying piece of jet ski. I did not. if that doesn't just sell you on whatever this movie's gonna be April 14, 2017 because like was the horse

on a beach in the sea did they have jet skis on a ranch what's gonna happen by the way I'm excited. I hope at some point Vinny D ramps off a horse on a jet ski. Like a horse and cart. Imagine this scene.

Vin Diesel's going to catch the bad guy who has left the sea on his jet ski and is in a car getting away. Vin Diesel's like, shit, what am I going to do? At that exact moment moment a horse race lines up you have this line of horses the guy's like three two about to fire the gun when vinny d rides along the backs of the horses as though they were a road oh there's a giant submarine chasing cars in the trailer it's gonna be infinitely better than any other movie that comes out in 2013. I haven't seen a single Fast and the Furious,

but I might have to have a marathon. Oh, they're good. So yes, Rogue One. What do we expect from this? Okay, so I've seen the trailers. I don't think I've seen them all. I stopped watching them when they said, hey, this will probably be the last trailer,

and the one that had Mads Mikkelsen in it. That's the last trailer I saw. But then I think there was a few little ones after that. Yeah. It seemed like that kind of like you just got like smattering trailers. Yeah. Yeah. So the Mads Mikkelsen trailer gave you the setup for the story.

So you actually get like it was like a story trailer, but not. Yeah. Not too much. Again, it's the Mads Mikkelsen designed the thing. His daughter's what's-her-face, and now they've got to rescue him, yeah? Yes. Also, Mads Mikkelsen designed the Death Star.

Yep. But it's similar to the atom bomb thing in Alwell, where he's like, what have I done? I have become Death Destroyer. It's that kind of business. Yeah, so that's why he gets arrested. Cool. And that's why they go, oh, no.

No, he goes missing. He disappears. Something that I why they go, oh no, no, he goes missing, he disappears. Something that I remember with Fantastic Beasts, which feels weirdly similar, but not quite the same function. Fantastic Beasts and Rogue One are probably a good comparison, because both universes are trying the same thing in the same year.

Exactly, but something we were really worried about with Fantastic Beasts is we were like, what are going to be the references to Harry Potter and all that shit? How are these going to pander to us? But Rogue One is, like, not designed to pander, but, like, you want those answers? It's designed to answer those questions?

Yeah, because it's not as far removed as Fantastic Beasts. Yeah. Well, when they first announced the film, they said that the ending of this film takes place about 10 to 15 minutes real time before the start of A new hope that's pretty cool that's pretty cool oh see does that mean we're gonna get like the the rebel cruiser that gives i honestly think this movie may start with this movie may start with the closing like the opening shot of a new hope start or end sorry end end rogue one might end with the

with the Redwood ship being chased by the or at least them beaming the plans to that ship

or something like that which is pretty cool that's pretty neat and that's also good because I can't squeeze in a sequel because then it would

have to be fucking at the same time as A New Hope or just A New Hope like again again

again if you are again again remastered with like I don't know New Jobbers Or just a New Hope, like, again? Again. Again, if you want to say it. Again, again, again. Remastered with, like, I don't know. New Jobbers. New Jobbers. There's two now. How can you imagine a DVD that just has New Jobbers stamped on it?

Where are they going to be? Every single scene has a new musical interlude. Oh, shit, yes. Every cut is star wipes. It's going to be good. But like stars, like... Or George Lucas' face. Making that sound.

Spinning George Lucas' face. Honestly, I mean, like, that doesn't sound too bad. Not as like a Star Wars movie, but as something else. There's a lot of troubles, weren't there, filming this? A lot of shit went wrong, but then right. Who's directed this? Gareth. Gareth Edwards.

Because he was saying it's really hard to write this kind of stuff or direct it because, A, it needs to be Star Wars because if you go too far in one direction, you're just doing Star Wars and you're not innovating or doing anything new. If you go too far the other way, you're just making a sci-fi film that maybe has some very loose connections to Star Wars. So there's this kind of middle path that you have to really sort of tow.

And this is what does worry me a little bit in terms of not just Rogue One but the film industry of sort of where we are at the moment is this sort of like, you know, you have a style. Like Marvel has a style. Yeah, yeah. DCU has a style. Star Wars has a style. And we saw this with Edgar Wright leaving Ant-Man because he was like,

I have my own way of doing something but marvel want this so room for advice so this is where i'm a little bit concerned because what did he do before this he did godzilla and before that he did monsters or something like that oh yeah monsters was good and so you're getting these really tiny directors who made these like smash like uh smash hits unexpectedly doing like some indie kind of stuff and they're like oh that was really cool and almost like you want them to have their own personal stand to it but then the higher ups like no do what we tell you yeah i think that gareth edwards is a good choice for rogue one for that reason because i didn't really like godzilla that much i don't

think it was particularly yeah it i i i don't know if godzilla meant this but i was um rooting for the mudos the whole time because like they were just like they're just trying to raise a family they're eating nukes those poor babies that's good eat all the nukes there's no more nukes yeah it was really weird they i don't know if they tried to make the villains sympathetic but my god i was rooting for them the whole time but gareth edwards does a really good directorial thing where he makes you feel scale in films like in his film so like godzilla feels fucking huge and the mutas feel massive which means that the death star which we've never really seen compared to people and this is in one of the trailers as well you see a tie fighter next to i think her name's jinn i'm pretty sure her name's jinn let's let's call it sure so like

she's standing at like an outpost. The main character of Rogue One. Yeah. Let's call it Jin. We're making the assumption here. I'm pretty sure it's J-Y-N-N. That's Jin. I think it's Jin.

Jine. Jine. She's standing on like an outpost thing and a TIE fighter pops up in front of her. And it looks huge and scary. And TIE fighters have never been scary. Yeah, I know. I was going to say like the Death Star has always been kind of

you've either seen it so close that you're not really getting a sense of it or so far away that it just looks like I don't know like a grey circle. I think at one point it like enters like the atmosphere of another planet you're like oh that's vegan spooky. That's good vegan spooky. So yeah like I'm fine with that because I don't think that he particularly he brings like little

things to the table not like Edgar Wright where it's like. Yeah which again it's like I'm fine with that because I don't think that he He brings little things to the table Not like Edgar Wright Which again, I'm of two minds One is like, oh cool They have a Everything is coherent and will make sense But at the same time it's like It's very stagnant, there's no innovation Something I'm excited about

That just occurred to me I don't think there's going to be that many quips in this movie It's going to be real many quips in this movie. It's going to be real low on the quip quota, and that's really good. The old QQ, that's really good. It just doesn't seem like a quip. I think the worst quip we're going to get,

and it's in the trailer, is, what's that call sign? It's Rogue. Rogue One. But that's them saying the title of the movie, which is another kettle of fish altogether. Do they just like Rogue One, then they just stare at the camera? In the Star War. And a wink.

Don't vote Trump. Oh, yeah, did you hear about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hashtag dump Star Wars. Hang on, explain this. Okay, so the director of... Was it the director? No, it was the writer of Rogue One.

Tweeted, posted a picture of the Rebel Alliance insignia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Insignia? Insignia, yeah. Symbol? Logo? Symbol, logo, insignia. I think I'm saying insignia.

That's a word, right? Insignia, yes. Insignia. Posted that when Trump won the election and then said something like, called the stormtroopers, he referred to them as fascist or something yeah yeah and then everyone was like calling donald trump fascist dump the star wars and then somehow a rumor got spread that the reshoots for rogue one were to put anti-donald trump propaganda in it i hope so imagine imagine if oh oh no is this like oh today. Are they doing what some of the Trump supporters

who their way of boycotting a thing is to buy said thing? Do the opposite of what a boycott is? Let's boycott Starbucks. Let's go buy Starbucks and say, my name is Trump. Ha ha! That'll serve them right. Gotcha.

They've been refunding tickets to like advanced screenings and midnight screenings. So it's just been easier for people that are fans of Star Wars get tickets. That's the best. Doing a solid for the nation. Fucking hell. I can't imagine liking,

like caring enough about any political thing to, to not. Disney came out yesterday or today and said that like, Rogue One isn't political. Don't stress i just i mean it is i hope the press conference was like somebody just coming out being like i don't know why you'd think it would be about trump but it's i mean it's not it's a movie this is like a worry for some reason i guess but it's just like guess. But it's just like... Don't panic? It's just like, how many people are behind making a Rogue One?

And you're like, we think that it is anti the political party that I am affiliated with. I refuse. But it's like, but were you going to watch this anyway? Of course, because I'm a fan of Star Wars. So you're going to watch this eventually. Yes. I will get it on DVD. Yes.

It's just like... Gotcha good. If you hurt anyone, it's Disney. And like gotcha good you heard anyone it's disney and like they're doing fine disney's you're not gonna dint their armor um but no i don't think it'll be terribly quip heavy which is all right yeah it's good oh it's very good i know you're very anti-quip and like sure i am and now it's been a year since we've seen The Force Awakens. It's all retrospective. Like, it was good while I saw it. And now that I've had a year, it's not the best movie ever.

Like, can I say that? What can I say without getting in trouble? You can say anything you like. The internet kind of hated it at the moment. No, no, they went through a phase where everyone was like, fuck Force Awakens. Everyone was like, fuck Force Awakens. And everyone was like, no, it's fine And everyone's like, no, it's fine. Because, like, yeah, it is fine. I think Force Awakens was exactly what we all needed as Star Wars fans at the right moment in time for us to enjoy this franchise or just to enjoy these movies.

That said, it is heavily flawed, and there are some things that are immensely wrong with it. I kind of do fall on the kind of where Max Landis, where everyone was like, how dare you call Rey a Mary Sue, you sexist pig. So, but having kind of seen it again, it's like, no, she does do everything very perfect and flawless. Maybe she's a bit of a Mary Sue. Yeah, she's not terribly flawless. Oh, I kind of actually don't like how Han Solo died. He died exactly like Obi-Wan.

Oh, I kind of wish he had his own death. Oh, another Death Star. Oh, yeah, that doesn't sit right with me. Oh, a trench one again, huh? Okay, okay. So there are some moments in Force Awakens where retrospectively I'm like, oh. The lightsaber fight was fucking sick and still the best one that's been in a Star Wars film. Oh, don't get me wrong.

I love me some Kylo Ren. Fancy boy parade. And having a bad guy that's like angry about being tempted by the light rather than being like oh it's sick a standby at least four stars I think it's like a big bowl of hot fattening soup you're like this is

it's not great I could be having better food but gee whiz I'm comforted and I guess in this scenario you were burned by soup in the past to make the metaphor work you had some real bad soup the previous soup I had burnt me as I dropped it in my lap for no fault of my own

but now you're good on soup again even though look it wasn't the best soup and it's like soup you've had before but now you're good on soup you're ready for new soups I'm actually pretty sure I said this in the thing I think Force Awakens will seem like a really good start to a saga if Episode 8 is good. And it will be real bad if Episode 8 does the same thing that Episode 7 does, where it's just a rehash of things we've already seen in Star Wars.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to the fact that J.J. J. Abrams isn't directing. Who's directing? Do we know? Yeah. Fuck, Looper guy, isn't it? Oh, Looper guy. Yeah, Rian Johnson. Rian Johnson.

Kill. Rian Johnson? Rian Johnson. R-I-A-N Johnson. This Rian. Rian Johnson. He made, well, Looper, I know you hate it. I, look.

I hate the ending. How many times are we going to have this discussion about Looper? I hate Looper from how it was sold to me, but Looper by itself is a good film. Is that okay? Can I say that? That's fine. Am I, are you going to jump down my throat? No, but Looper by itself is a good film. Is that okay? Can I say that? That's fine. Are you going to jump down my throat? No, that's good.

But it's gritty. It's like gritty sci-fi. You've been down there enough. It's gritty sci-fi. It's a good film. It was just sold wrong. Your problem with it... My problem with the marketing... Your problem with it is that you're a piss baby about it.

At the end of the day, you're like, that wasn't the movie that I saw in the trailers. No stops. Hey, Drive went to court for this. Take Looper to court now. Because people were like, this isn't a Fast and Fury.

This is just a Drive. And people were mad. So again, and Looper, I don't know. That doesn't matter right now. Doesn't matter right now.

Rogue One. What matters is that Looper is like a greedy sci-fi. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're hating Looper. It doesn't matter if you liked it or hated it. That's not the point.

That's funny. That's funny. That's good stuff. The way it is, not the story or anything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like how it's like real gritty. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

Bring that to the Star Wars. That's good. Yeah, I agree. Bring that to the Star Wars. That's good. Yeah, I agree. Bring it to the Star Wars. I'm looking forward to seeing what like seems like a less, like, you know, like your main adventure with Star Wars. It's quite like good and evil, light and dark. Here are your hero's journeys and whatever.

This seems like a lot. Grey area of the film. Yeah. Not necessarily even grey area. It's just like more people-y it seems like it's a bunch of dickheads doing their own thing and it's just like I'm not a Jedi and like fuck

having a Star Wars where there's no Jedi that's real good for me I am so excited there's one dude that's force sensitive he's not a Jedi he's basically doing Kung Fu he's doing space kung fu. This actually is going to be the one spoiler.

Yeah. So if you don't want any spoilers, skip ahead 15 seconds. He dies. And we know this because he said it. What a fucking hero. Did he just do like Ian McShane on HBO? She was like, I really enjoyed playing this character. It's a shame I'm dead.

That's very funny. So he's like, yes, Ian McShane. And everyone was just like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Wait. Well, that's good. Yeah, no, I'm mad. Whatever. Hopefully then the rest of them die.

At once. At once. A big building falls on them. I like the look of the robot. He's all right. Alan Tudyk. It is Alan Tudyk, isn't it? Yeah, I think so.

That's all right. I'll call it right now. Call him right now. Alan. It's Joel. Alan. Doesn't matter how I got your number. It's fine.

You hang up first. Yeah. I'm liking the look of him. It looks like a cast of wonderful characters. I think it's ticking a lot of the... Every box of a heist film. You know what lot of the every box of a heist film. You know what I mean? Like the criteria

of a heist film. And you all know how I feel about heist films. Oh, you're a fan. I'm a fan. I fucking love me a heist film. It's going to be good. We're not going to get

a climactic lightsaber fight. It'll be a climactic blaster fight. Oh, true. Okay. All right. So since I don't know much about this film. Yes.

I don't know about heists. Who betrays them? Someone's gonna. Someone's gonna betray. Who is it? Reckon it's Mads? I mean like. As a big twist of thing,

he's like actually nah, good on him. Which would be very stupid. So who is your answer? I feel like if Einstein on his deathbed was like, nah, the bomb is good. Nah, it's always somebody who needs to care. Are we going to be first with Taker? Oh yeah. Yeah?

Because he's a big enough actor that you're like, you're going to be like, hey, he's in this film. And then all of a sudden he's like, hmm. Because he needs to have a bigger role than just hanging on the side. True. And he's got robot legs. I don't trust him. Speaking of robots, I reckon it's a robot.

Sneaky robot. His programming was like, bam, bam, bam. That's not a classic portrayal. It's still bad. Yeah. But you're like, that's just his portrayal. He's a murder robot. He might kill someone. Murder bots bots i love you some murder bots my favorite robot in the

whole star wars trilogy is that one that's in the bounty hunter bachelor lineup yeah darth vader has he doesn't give him a rose and it's very disappointing oh that's all those bounty hunters traveled so far and then darth vader just why not just like send them all? Is it IG-888? Something like that. I like the one in KOTOR. They've got like this thin cattle head. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No, they're good. Will we get a young Han Solo in this film? Fuck, I hope not. I guess that's a- Wait, how? Oh yeah, wait, no. Will we get a regular H- Will we get a CGI-'d Han Solo in this film?

Or CGI'd Harrison Ford? Yeah, actually, that's a good point. Because people were talking about how... Because they announced the casting of the dude who's playing Han real early. So people were like, ah, he's probably going to pop in Rogue One. But now I'm thinking about that. That happens... How far back are we going?

How far back are we going? Oh, that's a question. Oh yeah, actually. Because if they're showing young Mads when he's making the plans, maybe. Yeah, yeah, I think so. At the start of the trailer. Okay. Darth Vader is definitely.

Darth Vader is definitely going to be in it, and I reckon he'll be spooky-ass. Yeah. I reckon he'll pop up. Did they get James Earl to do the voice again? Yeah, I think so. That's good. Seek. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that they'll probably just have him come in and just massacre a

bunch of people, and it'll be like horror movie-esque. Yeah, that's good. And what's our boy Mendo doing? Ooh, he's a bad fella. He's a bad fella. Classic Mendelsohn way. Oh, fuck, he's got the line in the trailer, because there was one line in the trailer similar to the Fantastic Beasts thing

where it was like, I want to be a wizard. That's a weird thing in Star Wars. No, no, no. That's the basic thing okay Mendelsohn I wanna be a wizard Mendelsohn says a line where he's like my power and it's real good

it just stands out like the wizard line in Fantastic Beasts which wasn't in Fantastic Beasts I'm hoping maybe to be in Star Wars maybe I'm hoping Mendel to be in Star Wars. Maybe. Maybe.

I'm hoping Mendelsohn plays his character that he played in Animal Kingdom. Just a complete ruthless man. That would be good. That would be very good. He looks pretty fancy. It looks like they're keeping up the fancy boy trend. That's just part of the Emperor or the First Order. Fancy boys. They're all fancy boys.

You can't avoid it. If you're not a fancy boy, you don't get in. If you're a fancy boy, you know where you go? Rebels. Rebel scum. Fuck off. Not fancy enough. They're all fancy boys. You can't avoid it. If you're not a fancy boy, you don't get in. If you're a fancy boy, you know where you go? Rebels. Rebels scum. Fuck off. Not fancy enough. Off you go. That's why they're rebelling. Not fancy. Jealous. I hope Tarkin's in it. Moth Tarkin. Gotta have a moth. Moth Tarkin. Well, I feel like we're gonna get a check-in from all of the

original crew. All the OGs. All the OG Star Wars. But just the people that were kicking it on the Death Star, you know. What's going to be strange? What's going to be, like, the... Because, obviously, they get it. It works.

The heist is effective. Well, yeah. That's a part of it where it's like, oh, I guess they do win. But I think it's going to be, like, at what cost? Yeah, at what cost? This is less about, like, you know, it's less about the goal and more about the journey. I'm excited to see

what those costs is. I think I'm just excited to see a more human side of the whole operation. Nobody's the child of prophecy. Nobody's a space wizard. Nobody's got plot armor necessarily. I hope they're all revealed to be Jedi. Every single one. That would be good. i hope they're all revealed to be jedi every single one

oh that would be good i will leave so i hope they all become jedi yes from rays that would be good but i hope like jinn gets shot or something and she's like dying and the plans are too far away and then she sticks out her hand and starts shaking and just flies towards her yeah and like the the music from the Force Awakens trailer starts playing and you're like, why? And then you just, around the top, there's been an awakening. What?

This is way too early. Sneaky Snoke cameo. What? He shouldn't be alive. Ben Mendelsohn grows big and loses half his face. He's like, fuck off! CGI Han Solo just has like a maybe five minute scene where he tells you the plot of all the films that are to come.

That's what we need. And then he just plays a sax and causes an avalanche. Credits. Minion fans are confused. Some people are discussing whether or not the trailer for episode eight will be at the end of no i doubt it i doubt it probably not well it definitely won't be before because i would know about it as i am a cinema yes uh actually well will they have an end credit

stinger because the uh force wakens didn't do that good no i don't don't i really hope they don't please stop doing it well i feel like what feel like... Westworld. Westworld had a fucking after-the-credits thing. It was bullshit. But what's... 8 is next, and then what's the next? A Han Solo film? A Han Solo story, a Star War. Well, then they can kind of really just not do an end credit.

They don't need to. The end credit's like, here's just our new hope. I really hope this... Although, I kept thinking about this and then forgetting while you guys were talking. There was an article I read recently where they said, like they were suggesting that because Rogue One can't have a sequel and isn't one of the numbered episodes,

they want it to do well, but they don't want it to do super well. So they've purposely not made an incredible film, but made a pretty good movie. That's a weird thing to do. But I kind of, but if you think about it, like given the current trend, if they could do a good trailer and they're like 8 million films,

then everyone's like, oh, give it a sequel. If they do a good movie, then they'd be kind of like obliged to. Although what they should take from this is if Rogue One is sick, don't give us more like character prequels. Give us like spinoff stories.

Yeah. Yeah. And this is what I'm hoping the takeaway met. Because I have a huge problem with Hollywood films at the moment where people don't know how to seem to end things. And I don't know if it's a fan thing as well. Like fans don't know when to let go. And it's coming from like

such a background in comic books where it's just like there is no end in sight it's just going to keep going and a good story has a good ending you need a third act you do need a third act the current trend at the moment

is that there is no end the third act is always promised to be the next film, but the next film doesn't have a third act either. It's all just keep going. Like Marvel. The Marvel films, the third act is Infinity War, but then there's two Infinity Wars and there's films after that. Do you really think you're getting a satisfying ending?

No. So what I'm hoping with this, because there's clearly a definite end, is that they make it a definite end. Yeah. And then the takeaway message isn't that like, oh, look, people love these characters. Let's bring them back. The takeaway message is, yeah.

We can do this. Yeah. Add a contained, self-contained, concise. That, I'm hoping, is the message. Because studios tend to take wrong messages from successful films sometimes. Yeah. And the wrong messages from flops as well. They just take the wrong messages from everything.

Like you look at BVS and the takeaway message there was don't make things stupid. And then they were like, no, no, no. Double down and Suicide Squad. And they went a complete opposite way. Make things more boring. That was their takeaway. Add more soundtracks. Brighter.

Please make it brighter. That was a takeaway from Men of Steel because they made Superman's costume really bright. Yeah, they did too. And it's like, I still droll. Even brighter. Of the contrast. It's like, add color.

Wonder Woman just had the, like, what do you call it? Not the contrast, but the the you know what I mean whatever it's called just like fucked bright you can barely see what's going on we finally did it that's what they wanted the brightest film imaginable so much bright

we can't lose and colourful that's what people want. Yeah, so I'm hoping that, A, this is a successful film and that they take away the right message, which is we just want good stories set in that universe. Which would be so nice for all of the cinematic universes that are coming out.

Imagine if Doctor Strange didn't have to tie itself to anything else, didn't have to have any connections. It was just like, you're looking so smug, dude. Fuck me, you're looking smug. Imagine if Ray, imagine if Jin is revealed to be Ray's mother. Fuck off. I liked that. For those playing at home.

I threw a thing at him. It hit me right in the square of the forehead. It was great to watch. It was like in slow motion. And his smug smile did not leave his face. It didn't wait. Not once. It's like he knew it was coming.

Yeah, imagine that. Imagine Jin is revealed to be force sensitive and then gives birth at the end. And she's like, I'm going to name you. Credits. All right, what can this do to make you hate it? Because that is one. Yeah, I think if they try to tie it into episode seven eight and nine

but in a weird way like that it would be bad yeah i think if it's revealed that any of these characters are ray's parents i would hate it i think if any of these people are are hidden snoke i'll hate it like if this is like i joke and say huh what if mendelsohn is revealed to be snow car but no what if he is god i would hate that so much i mean like unless they were just like whatever fuck it i think it wouldn't be i would wouldn't like it if they interact with any characters from the original trilogy other than darth vader than baby boy well i wouldn't like it if they were like here's like your basic shit show of all the lads like i feel like that we'll get a look in but if they were like oh look they're kind of all characters again because i feel like this this film has like a a danger of

like fucking with its own law you know what i mean it's taking place with like so close to the original trilogy that they might just be like oh whoops loophole fucking city yeah yeah that could be a problem another thing that would like not sour me on it but i would be like less enthused as if all of the fun heist characters barely got like a look in oh we got like a suicide squad deal where it's like you see them for a second they do their neat thing and then you're like never fucking check in with them again based on the trailers um what are you eating melody what's she eating i don't know oh it's like t-shirt don't eat that it was a thing you threw at me

he killed your dog I got it out I put it in my bag for some reason that's gross we'll sort it out later go on or was I talking

I don't know long story short Rogue One should be good unless it does anything too stupid and then it will be bad I am cautiously optimistic as I am with all of our Star War But Rogue One should be good unless it does anything too stupid, and then it will be bad. I am cautiously optimistic, as I am with all of us Star Wars,

because I love us Star Wars so much. But it just hurts me sometimes. Yeah, I'm cautiously optimistic. I think them getting a director who, like, say, Jibrams. Yeah. You hire Jibrams because you don't want to pay Spielberg. Yeah. You know what I mean?

You hire, like, and he's a very good homage-y director, and he got it in the style of someone else. Yeah. And that's why you get him. Whereas these guys that they're getting into it, it's kind of fresh blood. These guys grew up with Star Wars. These guys should hopefully have some of that respect and they kind of like telling these stories.

So I am,'m again very optimistic I wonder if you get a director that hates Star Wars again. It worked for The Empire Strikes Back, it'll work again. It did. No but you might get an Avatar The Last Airbender situation where you get like a hate letter to that where it's like all the good shit, what if it was bad shit? Love

me, M. Night Shyamalan PS, anime is trash. That movie's so fucking good. Fuck, I love it. Every beautiful thing is like, moving the elements is a beautiful martial art. One person can kick the ground and they fight with a big boulder.

What if it took ten people to move a pebble? Yes. Well, I don't care about Star Wars really at all, but this movie seems like it was kind of like, it's almost designed not to fail. There's no way that they can rehash an old film because they're not doing an old film. There's no way that they can make it lead into the next sequel because there's no possible sequel.

Like, unless it's just your basic bad film, like poorly acted, the script's garbage, and none of it makes sense, like, it'll be fine. You know what I mean? Yeah, it seems coherent. And then with the trouble, we're like, oh, in the editing bay or whatever. Oh, yeah, there was...

That's another thing I forgot to talk about. Yeah, because it seems... Because they got the guy who did Born Identity. Yeah. He directed that or came in to fix that. They got him in. And the first Born film is really good. Yeah.

Again, it's- There was talks when they did the reshoot that Disney weren't happy with how dark the film was. Okay. And they reshot it to be lighter. But that's also a thing that the internet says all the time. Yeah. Yeah.

Just to get angry about. And again, sometimes studio interference can be good. Sometimes it is, you know. I mean, like sometimes studio interference is very light. Like they might've just been like, hey, maybe don't murder all the characters in one scene. Maybe murder them over three. Yeah.

So that the audience isn't just like, because you know what? Studio interference would have been good. Phantom Menace. The ending of that movie is garbage. Yes. I don't remember the ending of that movie. It's six things happening.

Oh, there are. There are two. Anakin blows up the thing. Jar Jar takes on all the droids. He goofy fights them. Yep. Qui-Gon dies. And also fucking Queen Amidala's bloody storm in the palace or some shit.

That's right. They slice Darth Maul in twain. There's no blood. Because it's cauterized. Ah, gee whiz, that's ridiculous. Sure is. Somebody had to clean Darth Maul out of whatever pipe that was. He's alive still.

And he came back. Wanted the janitor not do his job properly. That's something that could be bad. If it ties too heavily into Rebels or something like that. I would hate that. I mean, I wouldn't know because I haven't seen Rebels. I don't think it will. One of the characters in it is in Rebels or something like that. I'll take that. I mean, I wouldn't know because I haven't seen Rebels. I don't think it will. One of the characters in it is in Rebels.

Yeah? Well, maybe it will then. Give me a name. Couldn't tell you. All right then. I think it'd be stupid of them to be like, this television program that not everyone has seen, let's... Like, if they make a slight nod to it, that's fine.

I think it is. I'm pretty sure one of the characters is someone that... Maybe they were in the Clone Wars. It's like it's a character they've used before. Okay, cool. Actually, that's a good level. Yeah. It's like it's a character they've used before. Actually, that's a good level. Yeah, keep doing that. Give me Kyle Katarn out of nowhere.

That'll be good. He's bait... Okay. I'm excited but afraid. Now I'm scared because I might get him and another fella confused. I'm just gonna... I don't have my phone. You did have my phone. No, you are going in blind.

Fucking free ball of him. You did have your phone. You're checking it. Yeah, I did. Your balls are firmly in their underwear. No, because I get the guy from Dark Forces and the Dark Forces video game and the guy from Shadows of the Empire video game confused. Sure.

Isn't the Shadows of the Empire, his name's like Dirk Handler or something? Like it's a real on-the-nose name. That's so their program his name's like Dirk Handler or something like it's a real on the nose name that's so good I hope it's Dirk Handler I know Carlton wasn't the guy I was thinking of the guy from Shadows of the Empire

that's Kylo Tan Kylo Tan that sounds like a kind of orange drink like a powder you put in water have some Kylo Tan put your Kylo Tan it's full of vitamin

C and orange is that Kylo tan. Put your Kylo tan. It's full of vitamin C. And orange. Is that Kylo tan? Well, anyway. Dusha's lost. We lost. Dash Rendar. That's the guy. That is on the list.

Dash Rendar. Yeah, I want him in this. Okay. I said okay. I want more hots. No more Jarvis. Added Jarvis. no more Jarvis added Jarvis added Jarvis pretty much what happened was they made a video game

I'm just going to explain it I can see it's go on get out of your system alright cool so Rogue One I don't know anything really going into this film and I'm kind of glad I don't know anything really going into this film

And I'm kind of glad I don't And I'm looking forward to everything kind of Amazing me Well the surprises are not going to be in the plot You know what I mean Well they will be because we only know the end of the third act Like they get the Death Star plans But you can pretty much nut

Out what the rest of it's going to be There's not much room for deviation they find out they gotta get the plans they all hook up they're like let's get the plans you're the best

for the business where rogue rogue one where rogue rogue one make ten men actually this is a good line like make ten men feel like a thousand

that is good that is a good line and then they do their heist there are twists and there are turns character development some people die someone betrays them there's an AT-AT in a forest And then they do their heist. There are twists and there are turns. Character development. Some people die.

Someone betrays them. There's an AT-AT in a forest. One of them is clearly working for Mendo. Motherfucking Star Wars. Don't put an AT-AT in the forest. Maybe it's an AT-AT. There's so many trees. But it just stomps the trees.

You've got land speeders even the little two-legged fellas are better than the god damn metal horse metal horse it's real hard to blow up imagine this you're driving it trips so easily just tip a tree over

I might be wrong Ewoks got him with logs no that was an ATS tee I'm gonna be so mad if that was an AT-ST. I'm going to be so mad if there's an AT-AT in a forest. No, it's on a beach. It's on a beach. Why?

They're like on beaches. It's like riding a horse on a beach. It's fun. And what is that but a metal horse? I just don't understand the continued use of the AT-AT. These ones are slightly different though. It's so impractical. But think about it. It isn't impractical. We have. It's really impractical.

We did a whole thing. Did you forget? Did we? It was in one episode. I got mad about it. It takes them fucking forever to figure out how to beat them. Yeah, I guess. but then they do beat them by wrapping up the legs with the ropes they conveniently had in the back of their snowspeeders.

Yeah, but that happens after this, so they just didn't work out that you can trip these things. That's the most ridiculous thing. Rebels are stupid. They're being like, all right, now look, it's attached to the ground, and if we trip it, if it is on its side it's essentially fucked.

It's like a turtle, it can't get up. And you know how snow speeders have these big ropes in the back? I got no idea. Don't make big Anyway, whatever, that's a rogue one. I already hate it. You're out of five.

I'm glad that I could turn you around. No, I'm optimistic about it. Yeah, me too. Yeah, this film, this year has been just, like it's been meaty shits on my face this whole year. Every blockbuster movie has been average at best, except Civil War, which was pretty good. Civil War was fine, and then Fantastic Lads.

I liked that one. Yeah, it was good. See, I liked it, but it wasn't enough for me to be like, fuck, yeah, everything is all right. I was like... It was a good romp. It was a fun romp. It was a romp.

It was romp city. Rogue One is a good romp. Romped the fuck out of that movie. Yeah. Like, this is a good romp. I'm having fun. I need to see it again, because something bothered me about it,

but I don't know what it was. That's weird. Was it Johnny Depp's gross face? I mean, I don't like that he's in it. See, I feel like it did tie too heavily into sequels, but everyone disagrees with me, so maybe I'm wrong. I'll see it again. I'll see it again.

I'm happy, because I'm like, I didn't feel that, but I'm happy to be like... I'll see it again in a gold class. Lucky boy. And eat lots of food. Maybe that'll make me like that. Have it with a whole chicken. Yeah. Can't be sad if Have it with a whole chicken.

Yeah. Can't be sad if you got a whole chicken. That's true. But I'm hoping Rogue One is a good romp. Yeah, me too. And I don't know how, I mean, again, it's going to, it would have to veer in a very specific direction for it to really disappoint me. And that is if it panders far too much to not the original trilogy,

but if it panders to the new trilogy. Yeah, yeah. And if it panders to that, it makes so many references to like what is going to happen. How many years from then is the new series set? 20? 30, I think. 30 years, something like that.

So, yeah, if it's being like, you know, if there's the four centuries, like it looks at Leia like, you will have a kid and he will betray you. He'll be a fanciest boy you'll ever see. Then I'll be very mad. Although if they like it. I hope that scene isn't. What I like if that scene isn't it,

is that then you can watch the original. Yeah. Knowing Leia's just the whole time being like, oh my God, I got some news dropped on me. I'm having a fancy voice. Fuck, do you know what would change in it? Like, this is like one thing that could just drop in it that changes everything. If someone just makes a passing mention to Leia

that she's got a brother. Oh, man. That'd be good. Or if there's a scene with, again, depending how far back they go, if they go real flashback and have a scene where Han Solo almost gets captured on Alderaan and almost meets Leia or something.

Oh, I hate it. Oh, I hate it so much. If that's in the Han Solo prequel, fuck, I'm going to be mad. I hope that Rogue One, I've changed my view. I hope it's like, it's like Forrest Gump. So everything they do influences the later movies. I hope so. You know what?

If they pay, if it went full on. If it goes full gump. If it goes full gump on us. Gump Star Wars. If they do it well, I'll respect that. Imagine if Gin goes like Obi-Wan's like, I gotta hide these babies. And Gin's like, well, I just passed a desert planet.

And he's like, God, that would be great. Oh, fuck. Imagine like all those iconic moments that we all complain and bitch about in that happens in star wars history happens in star wars it's all just jinn gumping her way through history it's all just like jinn or like no it's the blind dude yes yeah of course gumping his way through history gump slash mr mcgooing his way through the star wars universe he's like yeah fucking Obi-Wan's there holding two babies. Oh, what should I do? And then like, yeah, he gumps slash Magoo's his way,

maybe bumps him. He accidentally drops the babies, one on a map of Tatooine, one on a map of Eldoran. Like, of course. I solved it. And then he just Magoo's his way out of it. Yeah. Oh, you know what would be good?

Yeah. This might be a good thing to end on. It'd be so good if they, after they get their plans to the rebellion, they're like, hey, let's go back to Alderaan now. Oh, that would be good. Then they can all die at once. Yes!

And also, because that makes, because my one problem with that is it has no weight. Like, you're just like, oh, fuck, a planet blew up. But no one you care about, it's on there at that point. Except Bail Organa. Yeah. Rest in peace, Jimmy Smith. You were beautiful. Too beautiful for you care about is on there at that point. Except Bale O'Garnall. Yeah. Rest in peace, Jimmy Smits. You were beautiful.

Too beautiful for that world. He's in this film. That's good. Jimmy Smits. He's in this film? Bale O'Garnall, yeah. I don't know how I feel about this. I hope the credits are just...

No way, it didn't make sense. He was part of the resistance. Yeah, he was part of the resistance. Yeah, all right. That's how Leia ends up in it. I know. Now the Alderaan's probably going to make a big deal then. Yeah.

So you're right. They might end up in Alderaan. That would be such a good ending. Maybe that's their retirement plan. Oh, fuck. Imagine that. Everyone's retirement plan is like,

we're going to retire to Alderaan. We're going to retire to Alderaan. And that's their hope. That's their fucking hope. Imagine if... And then their hope is crushed in a new hope. Yeah.

Imagine if the whole time like, Gin with cigar in her mouth is like, and then we'll all be living in Alderaan Rich as they come I love it when a plan comes together

If they do that Alderaan is their mecca Their main goal That's what they're planning to retarget You'll have me eating out of your hand I'll be biting End credits over a slow exploding all around slow motion. Well, less Jurassic Park.

Then a Diplodocus is like in your head. A lot of film. A lot of film. Best film. His face turns into snow because he was a dinosaur the whole time. And then fucking Graves comes in like, I'm a wizard!

And you're like, yep. Perfect. That's what I wanted. Perfect add to 2016. Mendo grabs a wand. Wingardium Leviosa and then it cuts to black.

And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. If you want to tweet along with us seeing Rogue One and all the midnight screening of Rogue One in also been Joel. If you want to tweet along with us seeing Rogue One and all the midnight screening of Rogue One in general, or if you just want to tweet us about Rogue One,

use the hashtag LetMeDie. Yep. Because I've actually hidden it pretty well in this episode of Only Coffed Ones. I'm very sick at the moment. Oh, really? Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, no idea.

There you go. Like, real sick. Like, I woke up this morning. Like, it hurts to talk. So podcasting is real hard at the moment. Gee whiz. And the midnight screening is tomorrow. And I'm working from 4 till midnight.

And then seeing the midnight screening. And then recording an episode. So will I live? Probably not. Take a lot of cough syrup and soda. Yeah. Hashtag let me die. Hashtag let me purple drink.

Hashtag purple drink OD. Bye. Bye. Bye. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com.