Plumbing the Death Star - What Do We Think Is Going To Happen In Suicide Squad?

Episode Date: August 3, 2016

In which our heroes commit some crimes, go to jail, but then get turned into anti-heroes a bit as we ask what do we think will happen in suicide squad? We discuss Jared Leto’s sex crimes, talk a lot of shit about BvS, and bet steak dinners. Zammit laboriously explains Captain Marvel, Duscher hates method acting, Jackson brings back his favourite gag just for him, Aaron wishes DC would stop hurting him and we all just want to die. So get some bombs in your head, tattoo a mouth on your hand, and send all your mates condoms. Its spoiler free until 50 minutes and 51 seconds in til 51 minutes and 38 seconds.Want to help finally do it and form our own Suicide Squad? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help let us die.And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, like a virgin, touched for the very first time. Hey everyone, and welcome to a very special midweek edition of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions, like, what do we think is going to happen in Suicide Squad, and will I kill myself during the midnight screening? I was going to say, and I was thinking this as I was coming over here, we're kind of like the suicide squad. We want to die so bad. So, so bad.

Whatever. All right. I just need to get this out there because I may have said a few things about Suicide Squad before the release of the film. A couple harsh words.

So obviously we're same deal as always. We haven't seen the film. We don't know any spoilers. This is all pure speculation if some of it's right. That's just our fucking magical powers we possess. That ain't nobody's fault.

We don't know anything. So you can listen to this if you haven't seen the film. Listen to it on the way to going and seeing this film. Don't fucking hassle. Well, yeah, but it's going to be like 40 minutes. If you're going to see it somewhere far away, listen to this on the way. On my PT. Oh, yeah, that's true.

If you're on the train, sure. That's unsafe. Yeah. So, yes, just to clear it up before I, because I already know where this is going. It's going to get vitriolic. We're in for a ride. I don't like anything about this film, but I'm open to the fact that it could be good. And if it's good, look, I'll be fucking King Dickhead, and I'll be like,

look, I was wrong. I don't care. I will go on record and say that. That being said, my prediction of this film is that it's going to be garbage. Dog shit, even. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. I have no high hopes, but look, I went and saw

the new Star Trek film last night. I had no opinions going in. And as I left, I also had no opinions. And I feel that way about this film. I have no strong opinions either way. I think I just don't care. The one thing I don't care a lot about is Jared Leto. I could not care less about that.

Yeah. So, yeah, I just have no strong opinions of this film. I'm not excited. That's it. That's all I care about. Yeah, but he's not going to be in any fucking reasonable way. It's also funny because we're joined by Aaron who we didn't introduce at the end because it's a Plummet of Dust that way, but so far

he said two things. That's dog shit and I could not carry the way. Welcome to the show, Aaron. Good to be here, guys. That's the bloody best. See, for ages, I had this cautious optimism about this film. And every trailer I saw, I was like, I hate myself because I'm excited to see it. But, like, it's come out. It's the Rotten Tomatoes, like, review is not friendly.

So I'm just like, okay, fair enough. It's going to be shit. I'm actually surprised. So I haven't read any of the reviews. I've just like, okay, fair enough. It's gonna be shit. I'm actually surprised. I haven't read any of the reviews, but I've seen the scores, because I was expecting to go in there, to come out, and be like, I wish I killed myself. A Deadpool scenario, where the rest of the world loves it, and we're all like,

hey! It was a perfectly feasible 5 out of 10 film. But no, apparently it's bad. But here's what I'm kind of hoping. That it's the same sort of bad that Batman vs. Superman was. Like, if I can come out of that movie and have the same, like, what the fuck?

What the fuck did I just watch? It would almost be a success. Even with the Justice League trailer, I'm just like, it's the same, like, what the fuck is going on? Aquaman's like, I bring fish to this village. Batman's like i'm in i need that guy like is he jesus it's amazing it's also funny because in that trailer it suggested fishermen don't fish aquaman you're not a fisherman you're a lazy piece of shit

your family this whole time fuck and i love and like, just to get completely off topic straight away, but I love that in the Justice League, it's going to be Steppenwolf. No one knows Steppenwolf. Do you know Steppenwolf? Yeah. But I know because he...

He was that box lad that appeared into that extended... Exclusive thing that people would watch on YouTube. That they were like, oh, day after release,

oh, let's release this deleted bullshit. The Marvel thing. The after credits thing. And people were like, how would that fit in the after credits because it takes place during the film? And then Zack Snyder was like, no comment.

Zack Snyder was like, no comment. But you remember that reporter that got shot in the start? Jimmy Olsen. Jimmy Olsen, guess what? How are you feeling about the film now, fellas? You love it? That's good. I love that, like, it's like the film comes out,

then Zack Snyder has to officially explain what happened to you. And that's not good about a movie. I don't want to have to come out of a movie and be like, I can't wait to have Zack Snyder tell me what I just watched. That'll be real good. That's worse than the movie. I mean, I just want to remind everyone, the stories that have come out of the Suicide Squad filming.

Yes. Like, everything that has come out that we know about this film before it even got even close to finishing. Before the first trailer, David Ayer. David Ayer. David Ayer. David Ayer. Yeah. The director of the film got all the stars in the room

when they're doing the script read through and got them to punch each other and tell them things tell each other things they were deeply ashamed of that were secrets

for team bonding that's so good fuck that's good Jared Leto who at this point and this is a script read through mind you

they're not even on set yet that's when the whole dead pig came in so Mr. J sends his regards and then threw a fucking dead pig into the middle of the fucking room. Fucking David Ayer. David Ayer.

Also was like, I'm hiring an on-set psychiatrist because things are going to get really dark. Batman v Superman then came out and then they fucking changed their tune and were like it's going to be a great time. Look at all these gags in the trailer. It's all real lighthearted.

You know what I really like? It's like, we're going to get a psychiatrist. And you're like, maybe that's because you threw a dead pig at them. Maybe that's entirely your fault. Like, when did this idea that actors need to just fully immerse themselves? I blame Daniel Day-Lewis. No, I would blame Heath Ledger. Because Heath Ledger.

Oh, for the Joker, yeah. But just for, like, that whole ideager. Because Heath Ledger... Oh, for the Joker, yeah. But just for like that whole idea that if you're doing a superhero film that the only way you're going to get a good performance is if for some reason you commit to the point that it nearly kills you. Or kills you, in the case of Heath Ledger. I mean, he didn't die because he played the Joker.

He died because he took drugs from him. I'm not claiming that. But I think that's where it started. and now every superhero film has got to be like oh my did you know that Ben Affleck actually

went and fought crime so that he could get into the role of Batman Ben Affleck now knows every martial art ever oh yeah and that's

right that's more here's some more fucking shit that we know Jared Leto stayed in character the entire time and was like I hear the answers to

Mr. J or fucking chuckles or some shit I hope everybody just heard the fuck off every time. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. He sent members of the cast, he sent Margot Robbie a live rat,

he sent Will Smith bullets, he sent the rest of the cast used condoms, Viola Davies' husband threatened to taser him. I would've fired him. He sent someone anal beads, didn't he? Yeah, there was just used sex toys all over the shop. That's not okay.

The thing is, I don't know a lot about the Joker. I will happily say I'm not a huge DC fanboy. I haven't read a lot of the Joker comics, all that kind of crap. What I do know of the Joker is he's not that. No, Joker's actually not a sex pest. There's only one story that I know. Which is why the killing joke was such a big thing as well, because that's the first time the joke is like,

hmm, sexual assault maybe, just to mix things up. It was an eye joker, but eye joker is like a different, like it's like an else word. The killing joke, did he rape the Batgirl? It's unclear. We've had this conversation before. They pretty much winded up for that, though. No, see, the only thing they don't do is show you.

Did he just take naked pictures of her to show what which would piss him off what happened is in the actual killing joke they don't it's it's ambiguous like it's never really implied rape it's just sort of like she like sexually assaulted because she's like naked and bleeding yeah yeah yeah yeah but like then like later on people started like interpreting the story. Because the killing joke is sort of written to be a one-shot that's elsewhere, but then it's not because it's the origin of the oracle. So it's sort of... So then other people have added to it,

and then they're like, she got raped, and then people are like, no, she didn't, and then they're just like, this is weird. So to me, the Joker has never been a sexual being. He's not a sex pest He's all about just getting He's trying to drive Batman One bad day

There's one fucking story Death in the fam Where Catwoman's like The Joker's in love You're in love with the Batman He's like yes Yes I am Of course

What are you talking about I am in love with him The killing joke does have a scene With the prostitutes and the Joker I'm sure he gets his pack of wet Every now and then Who doesn't Every time he breaks out of Arkham

He visits the prostitutes And they say he likes to Pretty much get a load off Before he steals a load from the bank. Hey, whatever. But yeah, he's never really... It just seems like Jared Leto has completely misinterpreted... And like, whatever, putting your remark on a character is real good.

Like, you know, if you're taking a classic character and you're like, oh, I'm interpreting them, you know, this way, kind of like what Heath Ledger did, you know, he's like, oh, this is my version of the Joker. That's fine. But if your version of the Joker is a sex pest... In real life. It's fine to interpret a character

so long as you're not compromising the fabric of that character. You know what? It doesn't matter. In Suicide Squad, the movie, make the Joker the fucking biggest rapist to ever exist. Just don't do it in real life! Exactly. It's like if they were like,

Jackson, you get to play the Joker, and I'm like, my Joker kills babies. And someone's like, okay, I'm like, bring me a baby. I'm going to kill him because otherwise I don't know how to pretend to do that.

Oh yeah, that. I'm going to send it to Joel when I'm done. And also, so the fucking Jared Leto was like, yeah, I watched a lot of real life violent crimes to get into the character of the Joker

because the Joker is someone who's fine with witnessing this. So I kept watching it until I was completely desensitized. And then in an interview, he was like, ah, if the Joker was here right now, he'd probably just castrate you and feed you your own testicles just because that would be funny to prove that he liked you.

That's not what he would do at all, though. Is Jared Leto just, like, an actual sex criminal and he's somehow just using the Joker as an excuse? Is Jared Leto 14? Because the thing is, there has been an occasion where the Joker has an excuse. Is Jared Leto 14? Because there has been an occasion where the Joker has gone on a talk show and he just Joker gassed everyone. It wasn't like castrating

because he liked you. It's just like Jared Leto. What are you doing? Were you just so passionate about this version of the Joker that no one told you to not to? Look, method acting

as a whole makes me angry because it's not acting it's just you're becoming that character, you're not acting you're actually transforming your personality you're just making that character you, which is fine the whole thing with acting is like imagine being able to switch between you and someone completely different when they say action

that's remarkable and being really good at it yeah like shit that's far out i loved how you were you and then the second they said action you weren't you anymore and then when they said cut you were you again i loved it because like because you can't just be if it's just like you can't be fully emerged because the the moment you say cut, you're going to be like, how was that take? Can you do it again? Sure. Do you have any feedback for me, director? How do they justify it in their own head?

How does, if Jared Leto is pretending and like being the Joker, and then they're like, okay, break. Does Jared Leto pretend he's the Joker doing a film of the Joker? How do they justify that in their own head? Also. Method actors. Fuck off. It came out today that 30 Seconds to Mars are releasing a new album, which means that Jared Leto

is now being rockstar Jared Leto again, which means he's probably going to tour Australia, which means I have a chance to throw bottles at him. Oh, yes! Throw used condoms at him. I'm in character, Jared! My character throws bottles at you I'm blameless

He hates rock bands My character likes to throw jars of piss at you Oh jars of piss That ties it back into DCU They're calling it something weird They're like

No no we can't call it the DC cinematic universe even though that's what it is Yeah, it's calling it something... They're like, no, no, we can't call it the DC Cinematic Universe, even though that's what it is. I think it's a DC... It's a DC Extended Universe. Yeah, DCE. Yeah. Anyway, bring it back into Suicide Squad predictions, I guess.

I vented all of my issues with it, except the fact that it just doesn't look like a good time. It looks like a bad Guardians of the Galaxy. Unless Queen is playing the whole time, it probably won't be a good time. I would prefer Ballroom Blitz. Yeah, Ballroom Blitz is a jam. My prediction for this film is at one point, because the Joker is heavily tattooed in the palm of his hand

and in his shoulders or whatever, his elbow, where he's got smiles. So what he's going to do is he's going to kill someone or someone's going to be tied up with gaffer tape over there and he's going to put his hand over their mouth and then he's going to have his tattoo mouth and then he's going to talk for them mouth and then he's going to talk for him. I reckon he's going to do that. Or he's going to be tied up

and then he's going to put his elbow over his mouth and that's going to have the Joker lips and that's also going to be something that happens. You didn't need to do that. This isn't method acting. I'm sorry. Don't fucking put your elbow. Just say it.

Fuck, I hate method acting. That is so accurate. No matter what happens, it's absolutely going to it. Fuck, I hate method acting. That is so accurate, though. No matter what happens, it's absolutely going to happen. I will bet my bottom dollar that something like that is going to happen. I am excited for... Look, this film was written

and mostly shot before Batman v Superman. It's going to have a lot of the same problems. I'm expecting... So there's like six characters in the Suicide Squad? Five or six? You've got Harley Quinn Killer Croc Deadshot

whatever the fuck Bullseye El Diablo Boomerang I can't think of Boomerang and Enchantress and then another lady Will Smith

and Margot whatever her face is they're gonna hook up yeah probs Slipknot is also gonna he's gonna die everyone's already

predicted that but 100% Slipknot's dying so is Boomerang I reckon which is a shame because Boomerang's the best Boomerang just doesn't give a fuck is Boomerang the guy he fights with Boomerang

no no the actor Jack the one I hate yeah Jack Jack Otney is he an actor I don't know

Joel Kinnaman plays Rick Flag oh I was so wishing you were gonna say Rick Flair woo that was gonna be Tom Hardy was it Tomlair Woo That was going to be Tom Hardy Tom Hardy was going to be Yeah I remember Tom Hardy

No Tom Hardy was going to be I thought he was going to be Will Smith's character I thought he was going to be Will Smith's character I thought he was going to be Boomerang but he dropped out No because then Joel Kinnaman took it Or did Jai Courtney take it Because Jai Courtney in the trailers looked like he was doing his best Tom Hardy Yeah he was going to be Boomerang

Whatever correct us if you care, fans. I don't give a fuck, but if you feel like it's necessary to let me know, go fucking nuts. Anyway, I hope that the film... I think that the film will definitely have way too many flashbacks of backstories. Yeah, that's what I think.

And I think that the film is going to either start with... Here's my prediction. It's either going to start with a flashback of Harley Quinn's life or you're going to get a boardroom scene where they're talking about assembling the suicide squad. I was going to say, what we're going to do is we're going to get, the start is where the woman that was rumoured to be going to be played by Oprah but they ended up not being played by Oprah.

Amanda Waller. Amanda Waller. So we're going to get her and she's going to be like, or with the boardroom, the scene we see in the trailer, which is like, what happens if Superman came and punched the president's face off?

And then we'll be like, hmm. And then all these guys will be like, what do we do? Blah, blah, blah. Then Amanda Waller's going to walk in and be like, bam, Manila Folder,

Suicide Squad, or Protocol Suicide Squad. I fucking love it. We'll get America's top psychos to go and get Superman. Like, the whole actual plot of this movie of just the Suicide Squad is the dumbest shit. Like, what if Superman punches the president

in the face and all of the top government guys are just like, oh golly! Well, the president's head would probably turn to paste, he'd be dead and Superman would keep doing what he does. Exactly, you know who's gonna fight Superman? This man with a skin condition. You know who you don't really need to worry about?

Who? Superman, because he's fucking dead. Good point. Actually, no, that's probably what's going to happen because the trailers can't show that because it's spoiling another movie, but I reckon they'll be like, what if another person likes Superman,

but not Superman because Superman's fucking dead. Shazam. What if Shazam comes down Black Adam comes down and just fucks someone up punches the president so who's because the villain

who's the villain because there was those weird kind of Enchantress will probably be yeah Enchantress why isn't Batman the villain he should be apparently

apparently this is a thing I read ages ago so it's probably going to be wrong but apparently Batman has put all these villains in Arkham.

As in, they'll reference the fact that Batman... Ah, sick. No, that's alright. Will we see... We're going to get a cameo from someone else. Will we see a death of a Robin? Nah, there won't be a Robin. Because they would have had to cast Robin. No, no, but are we going to see a Jared Leto

is Robin? Like a Joker Robin? Nah, some guy, they were doing a tour of the place and they were like, that's fucking Jason Todd after the Joker killed him. And everyone was like, oh, well, I guess you... Okay, I guess there wasn't a big twist. All right, cool. I reckon...

I like that. I really like that. You know why I like that? Because that means if there was a solo Batman prequel, Jared Leto would have to play Robin. Imagine Jared Leto's Robin. Like it's the complete opposite direction Of fucking Sex Fest It's like Jared Leto

Chuck in these tights Piece of shit I became like I went and joined like a boy scout I went and delivered cookies And helped Nans cross streets I feel like if he had to play Robin He just wouldn't do any of that Everyone would be like Jared why aren't you in acting now you know what i want that you know

i would love that if it was like there you are you are playing a fucking goody two shoes go and fucking immerse yourself in that oh no you didn't want to do it did you because you just wanted to be a fucking sex pest we know what the fuck's going on um do we think we'll see jared lito sex pest joker in the present or will he be entirely in flashback uh he'll be i reckon We know what the fuck's going on. Do we think we'll see Jared Leto's Sex Pass Joker in the present or will he be entirely in flashbacks? I reckon entirely in flashbacks. I reckon he'll be

not in flashbacks. I don't think we'll get his backstory because the Joker doesn't have one. No, no, no. I hope we do it. It's shit. He'll appear in everyone else. I reckon this is pretty much

what I'm imagining. I reckon he's just going to rock up to fuck Batman and fuck off again. No, he's got too many outfits in the trailers. What you're going to see is my prediction of too many flashbacks. You're going to have flashbacks of almost every character either being arrested or on the run from Batman.

And the Joker will be there sort of either in the background or he'll appear obviously heaps in Harley Quinn's backstory. In fact, I reckon we're going to get two Harley Quinn backstories. I reckon you're right. I reckon we're going to get one and then we're going to get one that goes further back. Well, we're going to, no, see, I reckon we're going to start with Harleen Quinzel, psychiatrist with a stupid name, falling in love with the Joker for no reason. And then we're going to get the flashback where her and Joker break up because clearly they're not together. See, I think it's going to be the other way around. No, because you've got to leave the mystery

and be like, oh, why isn't she with the Joker? No, I reckon you're going to get Harley Quinn being arrested as one flashback and then you're going to get her whole backstory as a flashback. So it's going to be like Flashback City. Fucking Flashback City and Board Meeting City. How many dream sequences?

Three. All right. No? I'm going to go two. Four. I went lower like an idiot. The whole film is a dream sequence. Four dream sequences.

I will put my money on... I ain't got nothing to bet, but if I did... Steak dinner? Steak dinner? I'll put a steak dinner. You're already going to take us out for steak. Yeah, well... Anothery.

Anothery steak. That there will be a dream sequence in a flashback in this movie. All right. So, I reckon there's going to be no dream sequences. Bold. Bold. You know what? That's...

Bold prediction. I reckon there will be one dream sequence, and it'll probably be like Harley Quinn. Not Will Smith. Will Smith's getting a dream sequence. Will Smith's dream sequence will be one dream sequence, and it'll probably be like Harley Quinn. Not Will Smith. Will Smith's getting a dream sequence. Will Smith's dream sequence will be him with his family. Oh, yeah. I'll bet the steak dinner on that.

That's a more sure bet. Steak dinner only, no dream sequence. I don't even like steak. I'm going to lose no matter what. You can have the chicken steak. I reckon it opens with a boardroom. I reckon it opens with a boardroom I reckon like it opens the boardroom and like for a meeting about suicide squad oh yeah I agree well I can't fucking bet

on that if you're fucking agree it's all about dream sequences how many yeah sequences give us your dream sequence predict Harley Quinn will have a dream sequence about the Joker okay that's a good prediction I'm gonna go zero zero you know what no because they might have learned the lesson the dream sequences are really dumb no no actually I'm taking that back with zero. Zero? Zero. You know what? No, because they might have learned the lesson that dream sequences are really dumb. No, actually, I'm taking that back. Where they're like, dream sequence city. Yeah, but they might have caught them. It was before...

No, see, I was going to go on, this was filmed before BVS. What do you reckon then, Az? We're calling you Az now. I hate it, but zero. I'm sticking with zero. Here's something that I reckon is going to bug the shit out of me,

but they're going to absolutely do. Every single member of the Suicide Squad is going to bug the shit out of me but they're going to absolutely do every single member of the Suicide Squad is going to be given a sympathetic backstory where any of the like they're not that bad they're fucking criminals

they are bad interesting the grey area is just going to be like go on he's like oh yeah dad shot like he's a merciless mercenary but he's got

he loves his a baby daughter la familia Killer Croc only ate four men when he could have eaten six. Killer Croc's sad because his skin's gross. The Joker's funny. It's going to be like...

Joker's cuckoo for life. He probably didn't kill those men. He was just like, he got pinned or something like that because he looks like a monster. And... Oh yeah, Slipknot won't get a sympathetic backstory because he's going to be on screen for about four minutes before his head fucking explodes.

I reckon we're going to see Slipknot more than we're going to see the Joker. I reckon Slipknot... Okay. What is a Slipknot? Slipknot is a member that... He's the one who... I think he's the one in the trailer

that fucking punches out a lady straight off the bat. No, he's totally... Okay, so you know how, like, everybody's quite distinctive in the Suicide Squad? He's the one who's not. It's like, oh, boomerang guy,

okay, girl with hammers, secret lizard man, and she's a lad. He's the one who's not. It's like, oh, boomerang guy. Okay, go with Hamas. He could lizard man and she's a lab. He's so dead. He's the deadest man I've ever seen on camera. Honestly, I reckon he's going to get about four minutes of screen time to the point where I might even time it. We're going to midnight screening. There's going to be people excited there.

How many people do you reckon are going to be dressed up? All of them. All of them. Eight. I ain't batting steak dinners on this. Eight. Eight, I reckon eight. We're going to crown, yeah of them. All of them. Because- Eight. I ain't batting steak dinners on this. Eight. Eight, I reckon eight. We're going to Crown, yeah?

Yeah. Six. So you guys are in like Crown, Melbourne. Come say hi. Seven Batmans and a Joker. I reckon- No, I reckon we're going to get heaps of Harley Quinns. Oh yeah, it'd be Harley Quinns.

A couple of used condoms. We should try some of those used condoms and throw ourselves at the screen. Just hurl yourself through the fabric. Mean character. I reckon we're gonna get a lot of jokers and a fair amount of Harley Quinns

maybe one Batman and at least one Jedi yeah though someone's like I'm just real early for Rogue One do we think there's gonna be any other DC cameos

are they gonna try and tie it into Justice League I reckon you'll get... I hope they do with Aquaman, because it's so at odds with the story. Well, the only person who would make sense to be there besides Batman would be Wonder Woman. Mid-city.

Well, hang on, this is taking place after BVS, yeah? Yeah, but flashbacks... No, but still, it was taking place after BVS, but Batman's in it. Well, do you think Batman's only in flashbacks? Yeah. I reckon Batman and Joker will only appear in flashbacks. I reckon Batman will appear in flashbacks, but Joker won't.

He'll be in both. I don't think we're going to see Batman in flashbacks. And they're going to Michael... Michael Keaton. Not Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton's Batman. Michael Douglas in Ant-Man style, just like de-age him. Michael Keaton's back.

Fuck, that'd be good. That got me too good. I just love the introduction. Like, fuck off, Batflack. Michael Keaton's back in the truck. Have you seen Birdman? It was real good. He's back in the driver's seat, everybody.

I just called him Mike Flack, but I took the wrong part of the Batflack. Is that when Michael Keaton plays Ben Affleck? Mike Flack but I took the wrong part of that Flack is that when Michael Keaton plays Ben Affleck Mike Flack to the upcoming biopic but yeah I hope they just

de-age the Joker oh yes fuck for a good five years so you didn't need to but I hope they do this will be our

worst Joker you reckon yeah is Jared Leto what about Cesar Romero? He didn't shave Even Jack Nicholson Come on

Jack Nich- Don't talk shit about Jack I like Jack Nicholson's Joker Jack Nicholson's Joker's my favourite joke But we watched it recently The movie's bad He's good It was pretty bad

He's Joker His gun is so long Think about how long that gun is How did he get that gun in that pants? It is a long gun. It's real good. You're not wrong. I'll give you that.

That's so Joker. His gun's super long. It's good. The barrel would have just exploded when he shot that. Who cares? But anyway. It took down the plane. It was great.

That's right. Who built that plane? Yeah, I'm just going to be like, it's resistant to all this shit but if the Joker shoots it with a long revolver Aaron bat credit card who does that go to

who is that going to the bat credit card why where does the statement get sent where does it go it's Batman's taxi probably Alfred

Alfred true he fucking does everything else what do we think is even gonna be something I struggled to figure out is aside from flashbacks,

what this movie's going to contain. Well, that's the thing. People have been talking about the fact like, ooh, it's really secretive, like the trailers haven't given any plot, but they literally haven't given any plot, but you've got scenes that should be a plot. It's not like with The Force Awakens

where it was like an emotional montage where you're like ah I'm feeling nostalgic yeah yeah yeah this is just sort of like hey you like Queen yeah I think I mean like based on the fact that because again when you see negative reviews from things by critics you can usually pick pretty easily what

could have gone wrong and I reckon the fact that this movie either has no plot or real stupid plot will be one of the reasons. Well here's what I've read somewhere that I forget where. The villain is going to be that star lad. What's his name? Star Lord. Nah, Star You something?

He's like a big star from space in the DC universe. And there's apparently one shot in the film. Excuse me? Sorry, what? I'm going to fucking... I don't have my phone on this side. Yeah, mine did the same thing before. Somebody look up...

He's like an actual five-pointed star. Give me something to search and I will do my best. DC Star Alien. DC Star Alien. That'll do you. Anyway, that's going to be the villain and it's come into a bit of New York or wherever. Starro?

Starro! Starro! You fucking had half the word there. Well, I did want to say Star-U. That's a Pokemon. You did say Star-U, though, because then I said Star-Me. Well, I wasn't happy about it. Yeah, no, good. Anyway.

A.K.A. Starro the Conqueror. There you go. He's real bad, but he's a big star. Sounds like a mad guy. Show us a pic. I'd love to. Show us a piccy dick, and we'll describe it for the gang. Everyone tweet us your favorite photos of Starb.

Look at this one. He's just a star. He's a starfish with a red nail. He's a jellyfish. He looks like Ivan Uzi's goo. Everyone tweet us your favorite photos of Starro. Okay, from your favorite Starro comic. Can you see that one?

Starro rules. He's like a starfish with a big eye in the middle. There's clearly some fan art of Starro just railing Wonder Woman. Did you say this one? Curious? Yeah, that guy. That's mad. Anyway, this one. Starro is fucking the shit

out of Wonder Woman. I'd like to point out that even though I have not seen any of these photos, there's Jackson sitting opposite me, and they keep showing it to Jackson, so I'm just seeing the backs of the computers. The best part about it is that I've seen Starro. The don't know what he looks like. The Justice League got Starro'd. Anyway, the theory is that Starro has come from space.

They've had to lock off a bit of New York. No one can go in there. They've got to go fight Starro. But Starro, instead of looking like a fucking bitching star with an eyeball, is like a big super alien monster. Very bullshit. No, because I think that, well, the trailers seemed to point that Enchantress is the villain, but she is just a lady

possessed by something. Is she possessed by Starro? Fingers crossed. Also, you see a shot in the trailer of a helicopter firing missiles at the Suicide Squad, which,

are you looking at more Starro? You're describing this and I'm just so tired. Like, I've just gotten this, like, wave of just... Well,

like, you know how, like, Marvel movies, and like, I'm not a Marvel fanboy. I don't care. I've just gotten this wave of just... Well, you know how Marvel movies... I'm not a Marvel fanboy. I don't care. I don't care about your superhero movies. Whatever. Why does the B in your middle name stand for Boy, I'm a Marvel fanboy?

That would be B-I-E. But at least Marvel make good films. Well, yeah, but what I mean is... And that's coming from a DC fanboy. I'm DC through... Same. You know what, guys? Cut me.

I'll bleed DC. But at the moment, I'm hurting. I'm DC through time. You know what, guys? Cut me. I'll bleed DC. But at the moment, I'm hurting. I'm hurting bad, guys. It doesn't matter what you love. You've got to accept when a film is garbage. And I'm sick of accepting second-rate films. Exactly. I don't give a fuck about Captain America.

Captain American can fucking die as far as I'm concerned. Captain American. He's my favourite of the Marvel films. Yeah, it's good. Captain American can fucking die as far as I'm concerned. Captain American. My favourite hero. He's my favourite of the Marvel films. Yeah, it's good. But like, the movie is good. It is.

As a side note, I have stumbled upon a lot of Starro fucking fan porn. People love Starro and fucking him. Let's see. There's a lot. I'm missing out on this. I'm going to do a quick lap. I'll be gone for a bit. You'll hear my reaction in the distance.

Okay, so that we all don't get up and go look. This is this one. So you see, this is the one where it's a Wonder Woman one where you can see like a bit of camel toe going.

Right? So that's Wonder Woman and stuff. And then there's like more up there. What's that going on? Anyway, there's this one of Power Girl. What's that going on? Anyway, there's this one of Power Girl.

That's great. It's weird 3D animation. Starro in this looks like Star U. And then there's this one again with Power Girl. Where Star U is just on someone. People like mixing this Starro

with hardcore erotica anyway i'm back um there was no nudity in those photos so it was safe for work joel disha remains unsullied you just have to google uh by the naked form um the fuck was i saying something amazing anyway basically you were saying how shit you just got to accept when a movie's bad. You know what I mean? I found a nudity one. Anyway. Oh boy. My problem is,

it's fine if you make a few films and some of them are bad. Yeah. But everyone, I mean, really. The last good DC film was Dark Knight Rises.

Oh wait, no, Dark Knight. Actually, I wouldn't even argue not Dark Knight Rises, but like. I didn't say that. The Dark Knight., but like... I didn't say that. The Dark Knight. Did I fucking...

I didn't say anything. Did I fucking stutter? My silence said everything. Didn't need to talk. Yeah, I think it was the Dark Knight and... Yeah. See, I'm so happy. Like, out of Comic-Con...

So DC still have no fucking clue what they're doing now. I mean, you change your logo, but that doesn't make your films good. I'm onto you guys. Even like the Wonder Woman trailer. I don't know what... No, that looks mad. Wonder Woman looks real good. I love Wonder Woman so much.

But I'm like... No, no, the story. The trailer I was watching, I was thinking, oh, thank you. Please, please be good. I liked all the Amazon horses. It was a little bit Captain America Winter Soldier. Yeah, slightly.

Mad Captain America rules. Steve Trafford looked real stressed and that's funny. Steve Travolta was like oh boy. Marvel are just fucking sending everyone to space now and that's real good.

You know why? They've done everything they needed to on Earth so they're like we're going to space now. Marvel are finally doing like I've gone on record saying this I got a bit

sick of superhero movies maybe a little bit. Yeah? But like the fact that Marvel are just like Eagle Living Planet is a fucking dad now and he has a dick and we're acknowledging that. Hulk planets.

Oh, man. Some of that might have been spoilers, people. Was it you that was telling me the other day, Joel, where you're saying comic books are just batshit crazy and the movies shy away from that? Yeah. So Marvel are actually now starting to- All right.

Here's DC's fucking problem. I think Joel did say that to me straight i did actually say that um dc's fucking problem is they keep basing all the movies off like three fucking comic books yeah that's true killing jerk batman year one and fucking dark knight returns one with bane breaks his back oh nightfall yeah no that one's they that's the only took that out of it the themes from the other ones are still there oh yeah those comic books are only good because only took that out of it. The themes from the other ones are still there. Oh, yeah. Those comic books are only good because of everything else that happens around it. Yeah.

They just keep giving us that. It's like when Watchmen fucking came out. If Watchmen was released now, people would be like, holy shit, that story is so good. But when it came out, we'd had barely any superhero movies. So people were just like...

We had no context. Yeah. All these comics are good in context, but if you don't give us context, who gives a fuck not me not me and now marvel they've been like well we've given you the context you know we've established a firm ground we started with captain america i mean iron man just fighting another iron man you love that shit now look where we are dr strange is going into three cities on top of each

other he's jumping in a mirror who cares a man punches his spirit out of him and that's good fuck again ego the living like it's not even like the scene that they played at comic-con for explaining the ego the living planet is a dad um yeah they played a scene where drax is like you're a planet he's like yeah i made myself into a man he's like with a dick he's like yeah like alright is that why when Star-Lord's mum is like

he was like an angel I need to imagine just ego I like that it was a planet sized thing with like a human sized dick yeah but it was just like

hanging off the side maybe like one of them old testament biblical angels that were like oxes in wheels and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Three giant burning wheels spinning in seven wings. It's like an angel. That's an angel, I guess. Oh, mom. I hope that that's the scene. When he first meets him, he's just like, like an angel. To be seduced by a planet. Like, fuck, that's special.

That's, oh man, that must have been a connection. A planet, a lonely planet and a lonely human woman. The lonely planet. The lonely planet. Getting together, making sweet cosmic love. That's just beautiful. But you're right. The Big Bang.

The Big Bang, there it is. But it's, yeah, you're right. Like, DC movies haven't provided us with the context. They just assume we have that context. That was one of our problems with Batman v Superman. Let's make a series of shit films and then send Batman in to save the day every fifth or sixth film. Let's just reboot Batman and show us his parents dying again. I know.

You haven't seen that enough. Batman's parents are dead. Every fucking film. People keep pointing out that both Batman and Aquaman's dad have the same name. Thomas Wayne and Thomas Curry. And they're like, please, please just let it happen again. No. Thomas, no. Thomas. like, please, please just let it happen again. No, Thomas, no. Thomas.

Oh, fuck, please. Imagine. I would be so happy. That's the type of shit I want to see. I know that I just said the opposite. But even Batman v Superman was closer because it nailed the bat shitness. Yeah, exactly. Oh, boy.

But also, like, fucking. What, because your mom's Name's a Martha No just like Stuff like Oh Batman's flying In bats now I guess Or like flashbacks

Within flashbacks Within dreams Yeah Or fucking Lex Luthor being like I hear the bells ringing That's comic book shit Yeah I hear the bells ringing

And then just like Getting a Jolly Rancher And just poking him Into your face And what was good About that movie That was my favourite scene in the film, when he fed that old man the food,

and then he licked his finger. That's sick. If we could have that, like, I haven't watched the extended edition, but I hope the extended edition is like at least another five minutes of him just putting more of the candy into an old man's face.

Does that government man's cheek swell like a chipmunk's with Jolly Rancher's? I haven't heard anything about the ultimate i've heard that it just pretty much you know those little gaps where you're like why are we here now it just gives you like the bridges basically that's what i've heard that's what tracking shot every time like a literal bridge you're like oh okay we're bridged i guess see what you did there i think the problem with suicide squad is that all of that wackiness that you just got out of Batman V Superman it's gonna have the opposite.

Batman V Superman was amazing because all of that was unintentional. And it was like watching someone do a really bad stand-up performance where you're like I'm laughing because you don't know what you're doing. I'm laughing because you're an idiot. How many people in Batman V Superman decided that all of those were just a good idea? Yeah, I know, right?

So many people have been like, yeah. Like, Lex Luthor should just feed that man candy. Exactly. So, like, the fucking group of writers, they have to be like... Grandma's piss. Yeah, okay, so we do a scene where, like, he fills the thing with, you know,

grandma's piss that isn't explosive, maybe. No, that wasn't explosive. That was just the message, so she could, like, see that before it blew up. What if she didn't what if she didn't look down what if she just kept going great and she was just blown up no reason you know what also who cares she died you don't need to teach her a lesson death was the lesson exactly but yeah like so a group of writers have to sit down and be like yeah the joker will feed the government man a jolly rancher she was great was she yeah she was real good she had like actual point man she was good actress bit of that film. She was great. Was she? Yeah. She was real good. She had like actual points.

Holly Hunter, man. She was a good actress. All of that stuff that all the other characters pretended that they were talking about, she was talking about. She was real good. Anyway. But yeah, I feel like Suicide Squad is going to have the opposite problem. All of that wackiness is like on purpose and that always makes it bad.

No. It's like you're the guy that tries too hard. Yeah. It's the Jared Leto of films. You know what? That is how I feel about this film. It is. You're like, please, you're embarrassing us.

Yeah, like... And like... We're bad guys. It's what we do. Well, if you were bad guys, you wouldn't be saving the world because the government told you to. You'd just be like, not blah, blah. Fuck you, put me back in my cell.

That one scene, because I was like, look, the trailer's either here or there. But that one scene, like, we're the bad guys, what we do? I hated that. And I'm hoping that's just for the trailer. A steak dinner, that's how the film opens. We're bad guys, that's what we do. Suicide squad. Please don't point it out.

Please don't point out your own promise. It's like if in Batman v Superman, Superman was like, I'm conflicted. And Batman was like, I've gone crazy. Like, don't just say it. Both of them practically do, though. In fact, Superman has a discussion with his mom where he's saying that. She's like, fuck humans. You don't owe them shit.

Yeah, go ahead and fuck shit off. I don't give a shit. Yeah. I know this is just talking about that. Mom again. Yeah. Humans are fucking hot just talking about that. Mom, I can't. Yeah. Humans are fucking hot pieces of fucking garbage. Mom, I feel like I don't know if I should be a god to these people.

Or one of them. Clark, I'm not your real mom. Whatever, I guess. Batman, Superman, I mean. Batman, Superman, you know what I always say. Bloody humans are fucking pieces of fucking shit. Everyone's kind of garbage, I guess. Everyone's dying anyway, so you might as well kill them.

What if we all die one day, Superman? Gee. You don't owe them a goddamn fucking cunt, fuck, fuck, cunt, fucking thing. I'm pretty sure that's directly from the script. You know what, Superman? You should have punched the president in the face. Just go to the White House, rip off a top, push the face.

I'm conflicted. Get him good. She's just like, it's all right. Mom, that Tennessee honey was full when I got here. Please. My favorite thing still in Batman v Superman is that Mark Kent still had to take a second job. Like Superman was working in the city,

earning money, but still Mark Kent had to work at that diner and hated her life. Superman didn't give a fuck. Ah, the best. Suicide Squad. So I reckon the plot is going to be what happens,

Superman comes and punches, opens the boardroom, opens up, Superman comes down, punches, prayers in the face, they're going to be like, good, start Suicide Squad.

Suicide Squad is going to happen and then Superman's going to die. And then they're going to be like, what happens now? Because we've got the Suicide Squad. I think they is going to happen and then Superman's going to die. And then they're going to be like, what happens now? Because we've got the Suicide Squad. I think they're all going to hate each other. They're going to try to form it. They're going to hate each other and it's not going to work. And they're going to be like, fuck you, we're all villains and shit. Then they bond over sad past. And then they'll be united.

All the backstories will happen and then they'll be like, nah, you guys are alright. Let's be the Suicide Squad. They actually won't be the Suicide Squad until the end. Yeah. They actually won't be the Suicide Squad until the end. Yeah. Yep. I hope they call themselves the Suicide Squad after Slipknot kills himself.

And they're like, hey, that's exactly the right idea. I hope they just don't call them the Suicide Squad. I hope it's Protocol Suicide Squad. Like some bullshit like that, which would be like, why would the government have a Protocol Suicide Squad? But it's going to happen. I reckon Will Smith at some point will say what are we some kind of

suicide squad or something yes though oh my god he will someone is going to say that will smith is the thing i'm most excited for they're gonna they're gonna end up in a mission where they're probably gonna it's assumed that they're not going to make it out of there. So I'm like, this is a suicide mission. We're a suicide squad. Well, that's good. This is a suicide mission and we're the squad for it. Naturally shoehorn that in.

Can anyone think of a film where the film, like the title of like the, the title card comes up again in the film. Cause fuck that would be good. It's like on DVDs, how the title of the film is always a chapter yeah but also like i just want to see a film where like the movie opens and it's got the title card and it was like yeah sick but then halfway through the film it just comes up again fuck fuck i would i'd die i'd become a skeleton that happens in this film i will give it a 9 out of 10. Yeah, same. Well, after our prediction on who is Star-Lord's father being 100% correct.

I did it. I'm assuming James Gunn is a massive fan. James, I know you're listening. How are you doing? How's it going? JG. JG. So if you make Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 have two title cards, that would be great.

That would be super sick. Put Man-Thing in more things while we're at it please you put how the duck in something you fuck put man jackson just hurting real bad he doesn't mean what he says i do mean it james um you're why i'm hurting oh yeah so 100 will smith will either say what are we some kind of suicide squad or something or captain boomerang will be like some kind of suicide squad or something, or Captain Boomerang will be like, some kind of suicide squad. What are we? Some kind of suicide squad? Oh, good.

Did you already do it? I reckon we're only going to get character development from Harley Quinn and Will Smith. Yep. And that's it. I reckon the film is going to open, just getting back to, I know this is just predictions

about how the film's going to open, but it's just because I don't think it is. We're going to need like seven cinemas to show all the opening scenes we've all right fucking boardroom every fucking time like you Jack like it's sort of a skill at this point but like has anyone ever tweeted you and been like I'm glad you burp I try edit them out I try I do my best well I guess I've just acknowledged sometimes he doesn't sometimes it's too hard I'm like you piece of shit it's for me it's for me

that's why it's not for the fans although it'll be a fun game for them if they listen back where did the burps start log the burps don't

hashtag log my burps don't fans don't if someone could design an app for it that would also be good anyway don't waste your time. If you're going to use...

No, waste your time. Set yourself on fire or something. It's a better use of your time. Don't do that either. Don't set yourselves on fire. Design a burp app. How's it going to end? It's going to end with...

Going back to jail. It's going to end with me walking out disappointed. No, no, no. Before that. Oh, right. Well, I feel like... I'm trying to think what the hell happens to the Suicide Squad in the comic, because I know the whole Amanda Waller Suicide Squad

fucking anti-superhero sort of arc ends with Amanda Waller being like, we've got to take down the Justice League because they're unchecked power. They're in the Justice League yet, though. No, but in the comics and, like, I think in the DC Justice League Unlimited, which I'm assuming they've watched a bunch because the soundtrack seems to be exactly the same level of 90s guitar riffs. But in the end of that, yeah, I think

the Suicide Squad just are just a team. They're like a Justice League. Like a bad guy Justice League. They'll go back to jail. And then Joker will be like laughing like an idiot. Because they're going to break out. I reckon it'll end with them being put into jail. It'll cut to Harley Quinn's cell.

It'll be night time. They'll shut the door. And then there'll be a laugh of the Joker. No, no, no, no, no, no. See, here's the reason I think that's not the case. Because all of the villains in the Suicide Squad are not villains, aside from Killer Croc, aren't villains that Batman really tussles with that often. And so it's not a problem to keep them in prison.

They don't need to break out. They can remain the Suicide Squad. There'll be a dick tease with Joker and the Batman to end it, I think. I reckon it'll end with them in prison. Someone will try and break them out. Maybe it's a Joker. Maybe it's someone else. But someone will try and break them out.

And then they'll be like, no, this is our place. We belong here. Ah, yeah, true. We are the Suicide Squad. Cue Queen. That'll make me real sad if that's the end. What the fuck? The Suicide Squad aren't happy that the Suicide Squad are in the comic. Plus, in the comic, they're all wearing bomb collars, which is great.

They've got bombs in their head. Yeah, do it for a reduced sentence. Or bombs in your head. Because it will blow up your head if you don't. Or it's going to end with them getting back with Amanda Waller and putting a bomb in her head. Maybe. Everyone's getting bombs in their head. But they're not going to cut the suicide.

You've got to remember the way the DC fucking team thinks. They're like, franchise. Yeah. We can make more Suicide Squad movies. No, no, no. Actually, you're right. You can't, though. No, stop. If anyone from the suicide... Jared Leto no actually you're right we can't though no stop

if anyone from the suicide Jared Leto if you're listening from your jail cell that means my campaign has been successful

but also don't sign up for a second suicide film James Gunn if you know Jared Leto don't put him

in your films just tell him not to contact David Aya David Aya David Aya fuck David Ayer. Fuck. No, there's something else I was going to say.

It's a franchise. I can't remember. That's what I mean. They'll chuck them all back in jail so that they can just pick and choose who they want in the next film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're right. DC haven't figured out how to make a fucking movie yet. Yeah. So it's going to be franchise-y.

I reckon we're going to get like fucking The Flash or some shit also pop up for no reason. I hope it's The Flash. Jesus Christ. We're going to get a Flashpoint. Flash is going to be a portal. It's going to open up. Everyone's going to be, what was that? And then no one's going to be.

No, yes, yes, yes. Flashpoint flashes are the best. I hope it leaps up and fucking like dead shot and is like, hey, look out. There's fucking more mosquito ghouls. The Flash TV show is about to do Flashpoint, so I don't think the movies will do it. Batman v Superman already did. Yes, I know that, but it's not going to be in the Suicide Squad.

It'll be in all of them. It's going to be Flashpoint City. No, it'll be after the credits. If they're going to do it, it'll be after the credits. No, it'll just be Flashpoint City. That's why there was no after the credits in the BVS. No, you just didn't wait in the cinema long enough.

Don't wait until the end of the subsequent film. No, no, no. That was the start of the next screening. Bridget Jones. Oh, that's why everything happened twice. I don't know. What's his name? Zack Schneider.

That was why we got the Steppenwolf bullshit. Because he was like, no, I don't want to do a stinger after the... That's a Marvel thing. This is what we're doing. Of course, he didn't tell anyone that until like two days after he did it. And also... You should start doing what Marvel are doing, please. No, they're trying to do that with Justice League.

It looks... Batman is now Iron Man. That's pretty good. Anyway, no, you're right. I reckon we're going to get a Flash. The Flash will appear... Because he looks different. Yeah.

He's going to appear in all of the films, including... I hope Aquaman is in Bruce Wayne's aquarium at Wayne Manor yes though we're going to get a Flashpoint 100%

and I reckon that's going to be the thing that ties all the films together constantly yep I agree until the second Justice League film

when it'll Flash we will just do Flashpoint oh that's so bad fuck that's so good no but it's exciting though I don't think the Flash

is outfitted in his latest film oh my dick like there's something kind of glorious it's so bad. Fuck, that's so good. No, but it's exciting, though. I don't think the Flash is outfitting this movie. Oh, my dick. Like, there's something kind of glorious. It's so hard, but so sad. It's like you're on a train, and the train, you see up ahead there's a bridge, and there's a hole in the bridge, and you're like, I'm going to die.

But I'm going to see a train crash into a river. From the inside. And I'm so ready for this. This is going to be wild. No, it's like on the way to Suicide Squad tonight, if I'm driving on a road, and then there's like a bomb.

I'm like, I'm about to blow up. But I was about to go see a Suicide Squad film, so this is alright. I'm so ready to die. Yeah, exactly. Speaking of ready to die, don't forget to use the hashtag, let me die. ready to die, don't forget to use the hashtag LetMeDie to follow our adventures tonight. We'll be recording an episode straight after the film. About four in the morning.

When we get back here. Cannot wait. So it'll be 3.30, 4 maybe. Maybe post cheeky quarter pounder. Who knows? Yeah, maybe. Probably eat and be good. Eat?

I think we've made every prediction we possibly can. I think we've made them all just in case. Penguin? Penguin? Actually, that's something we haven't discussed. Do you reckon there'll be any other villain cameos? Yes. There can't.

There are already so many. No, but it's already chocolate. Steak dinner, Mr. Freeze. Here's the thing, though. Like, it wouldn't be hard because they're clearly setting it in Gotham. They set it in the prison. They could just go, like, just pass someone's the thing though It wouldn't be hard Because they're clearly setting it in Gotham If they set it in the prison They could just pass someone's fucking Batman vs Superman

Just have Amanda Waller be like I have to choose some villains to come on my suicide squad And then she's like I could do the penguin Wait they've already cast a penguin haven't they Have they Oh are you thinking about Gotham the TV show there? No.

Who? No, not that penguin. Danny DeVito again? No, let me find out. But because they announced a penguin, I'm pretty sure. Why are you typing on your phone weird? You're holding it too far away. Because where it naturally goes is where the microphone is.

Where the microphone is. Shut up. That was good for me. I'm looking at the IMDB. There's someone called Panda Man. It's Panda Man. Shut up. That was good for me. I'm looking at the IMDB. There's someone called Panda Man. It's Panda Man. Panda Man. It's Pandamonium.

Actually, the film's out, so there might be spoilers. I just... It could be a spoiler, so I don't want to say it. Okay. So, but I think we might have just got a confirmation of a prediction. Oh, shit. Yay! Do you guys want to know?

I do. All right. Okay, okay. Listeners. Three, two... Wait, no! Don't count in. No, no, we're going to count them to mute their fucking thing.

All right. Fuck. Fuck. Now there's spoilers. Now there's a potential spoiler. You could see it on IMDb, but it's a potential spoiler. So jump forward five minutes. So like a good maybe two minutes.

All right. Okay. Three, two, one. Spoiler territory. Ezra Miller, The Flash. Yes. Oh, yes. Yes. Motherfucker.

Gotcha good, Az. Gotcha good. That doesn't mean there's going to be a flashpoint. Yes, it does. Yeah, it does. Fuck. What the fuck? So happy. Happ be a flashpoint. Yes, it does. Yeah, it does. Fuck. What the fuck? So happy.

Happiest boy there is. We did it. Fucking once again, Pumping the Death Star is hacked into the pop culture hive mind and fucking predicted something that will definitely happen. Fucking it's got to get to the point where they're like, what's going to happen in fucking Doctor Strange? We'll just tell you the movie point by point.

But we'll say no spoilers at first. And it's not spoilers. We're just magic. All right, you can come back now, everybody. It's fine. Should we just mark? You might have to mark that. Bad luck.

Good luck for me. Yeah, it's fine. Anyway, it wasn't that big of a spoiler. Welcome back. You probably imagined it was going to happen anyway. No, but Penguin. And also, I can imagine Amanda Waller walking through Arkham Asylum and being like, will I choose a penguin? welcome back we were probably imagined it was gonna happen anyway um no but penguin and also i can't imagine amanda waller walking through arkham asylum and being like will i choose a

penguin will i choose mr freeze and we just see them or calendar man alternatively john riddle it'll be more of a hack job and she'll be in the board meeting that in my head is going to go for like 20 minutes with their files i just list names she'll be in the board meeting that in my head is going to go for like 20 minutes with their files I just list names she'll be like what about Harvey Dent and some no someone's like

what about Harvey Dent and she'll be like nah he's too unpredictable he's too two faced yes what about the Riddler nah I can't stand his riddles just constantly

I can never understand him what about what about the Penguin his Penguin freaks me out what's the Riddler's name something Edward Nygma Edward Nygma so it's going to be like Edward Nygma I don't like his riddles What about the penguin? His penguin freaks me out. What's the riddle's name? Edward Nygma. Edward Nygma.

So it's going to be like, Edward Nygma, I don't like his riddles. And shit like that. So I reckon that's what's going to be. We'll just get the names of all of the DC villains. What about... What about like Black Mask? What about like obscure DC villains? Black Adam. He's not a DC.

Well, he's a DC. He's not a... A rock? Are they actually doing a Shazam movie? Apparently. Yeah. That's the best. Shazam's a fuckstore. It's a girl. Are they actually doing a Shazam movie? Apparently. That's the best. Shazam's a fuckstore. It's a girl.

What's her name again? Shazam. She's um... Lady Shazam. You're Captain Marvel, aren't you? Brie Larson? Oh yeah, whoops. You think you're Captain Marvel?

You doofus. No. Get out of here. Captain Marvel is Shazam. That's the Marvel Captain Marvel. We're talking about the DC Captain Marvel. Captain Marvel is Shazam. No, Shazam is just Shazam now.

Because Captain Marvel were like... DC Shazam. No, Shazam is just Shazam now. DC is Shazam, right? Yes. They renamed Captain Marvel Shazam because the name was Captain Marvel. It took them a very long time. It was a big legal battle involving at least three different comic book companies. Image or something? Epic or something like that. So what's Brie Larson?

Brie Larson is Captain Marvel for Marvel Comics. Why do they have a Captain Marvel? Because they're- A different Captain Marvel. Their one. Why do they have a Captain Marvel? Because they're- It's a different Captain Marvel. Their one's an alien. Because fucking DC- But why does she have a red suit with a lightning bolt on it? All right, all right, all right.

That's Power Girls after them. That's just a costume, I guess. Oh, I can't deal. AMAX. Okay, so back in the day, so there was DC and Marvel, okay? And there was one little offshoot company. I want to say Epic Comics, but they did- This is my favorite bedtime story as a child.

Like Shazam, and they had Captain Marvel. So DC bought them and were like, sick, let's call him Captain Marvel and keep that because fuck you, Marvel. My thoughts exactly, until they release good films. Damn it. Damn it. Well, we're going to have our own Captain Mar-Vell and he's going to be some Cree bullshit. And then there was this back and fight legal battle of who owned the name Captain Marvel. Shazam is the better Captain Marvel, though.

We can agree there, yeah? There's been several Captain Marvels on both sides. No, I mean the little boy who wizard made a man. Tell me that doesn't be Cree bullshit. That's true. But I do like, is it Carol Danvers? Yeah. She's pretty good now.

So Brie Larson is going to be the Marvel Captain Marvel. Yes, she's the Carol Danvers. And we don't know who Shazam's going to be. But we know the Black Adam is Dwayne the Rock Johnson. So it can't lose. I hope they just cast Vin Diesel as Shazam. Just make it happen. Just recreate Fast and Furious 5 again.

Imagine Batman and Superman driving around Gotham in Skylines. Yes. Isn't Joker's going to be driving a car in this film? Yeah, that scene. Because Batman's on the roof and Harley Quinn's in the car. I don't trust the Joker behind the wheel. Me neither. I hope his hand placement is over Batman's face.

His hand smile thing. I hope that's the boy. You really back it. So you're backing that real hard. I was backing the fact that... Well, you're backing Flashpoint real hard, and I'm backing the fact that the film's just going to open with an extended

boardroom scene. You're probably right. Like, I'm thinking a boardroom scene that will then have the flashbacks of the characters in it, but then we'll cut back to the boardroom. Oh, fuck. Oh, I hope so. That would be the best. She'll throw down, like, Amanda Val, Amanda Val,

will throw down a file and be like, Dr. Halon Zulhuzul. a file and be like, Dr. Halonzo-Kozov. And they'll be like, code name, Harley Quinn. Flashback. Title sequence, Harley Quinn. Oh, yes, it will. Deadshot.

Like the posters. Boomerang. I love beers. And calling girls sheilas. What was that Tarantino movie where they talk about someone and they flash back every Tarantino movie ever I know the one you mean

they parodied it in the finale of season 1 of Community so if everybody just remembers that we're good what are you talking about? what film was that? Might not have been Tarantino. Was it Rodriguez?

Maybe Rodriguez. I think it basically was like when they say something and the name of that person comes up on the screen. Be like, Johnny the snooker table and then it'll be like,

ba-ba, snookers. No, The Hateful Eight doesn't do that. And that's way too new anyway. Anyway. That'll happen. I'm sure that there's people- I hope it does.

Same. At this point, the more we discuss this, I'm getting equally as excited as I am tired. Anyway. That'll happen. I'm sure that there are people- I hope it does. Same. At this point, the more we discuss this, I'm getting equally as excited as I am tired. Yeah. And I don't know where I am right now.

I'm nervous. You're in a safe place. I'm excited and I'm just kind of curious. How many choc-tops should I eat tonight? Two. No, three.

Three. I never like having choc-tops when we go to a bar. You need to eat as many choc-tops as there are dream sequences. How am I going to know that? Or do I have to see this fucking film twice? Well, you'll buy that many before you go in.

And if you get it wrong, throw out a choc-top. That's a real committed guess to have any dream sequences there'll be. Because I'm assuming it's an eight-hour long film. Yeah, how long is it? Do you know? Yeah, I do know, actually. So the credits for the film start one hour, 51 minutes and 20 seconds into the film. But there is obviously trailers before it.

Don't ask me how I know that. I mean, you can probably guess because I work at a cinema. Could be. Who knows? I have no idea. Life's great mysteries. Man. How did you know?

That made me tired. Talking about it's made me kind of excited because I'm like, what kind of garbage are we going to say? Yeah, so with trailers it'll be like two hours fifteen. Good times. Well, I hope this is going to be a fun time. I'm excited. Yeah, me too.

I'm not, but I look forward to being there. I look forward to talking about this at 4am tonight. Is there actually a line in the trailer where Sex Fest Joker says this is only going to hurt a lot? Or did I make that up? Oh, yes!

No, it's not. This is only going to hurt a lot. It's like, this isn't going to hurt for me. It's going to hurt for you. This is going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me. Is that what he says? No.

Fucking some garbage. It's something. People thought that that was like the flashback of him killing Jason Todd, but... That's classic coming. Oh! Well, we got the Jason Todd Robin. Okay, that's my call.

We're going to get the bloody dead Robin. I bet you a steak dinner we won't. I reckon that's a good bet. Like, that's the one thing I'm 100%... I reckon you've pretty much guaranteed yourself a steak dinner. I think so. No, because DC hate their fans and don't understand why people see movies.

Yeah. So any of the fan theories are never going to be confirmed because they'll be like, No! What? No! Fuck you. New films.

How good was The Dark Knight? All movies should still be The Dark Knight. Do you know how much money that movie made us? A billion dollars. How good are dollars? Pretty fucking good. You heard it here first. They're good.

Now let's stop wasting them on crap films. Exactly. So I think this will probably hurt us a lot more than it hurt Jared Leto. He at least gets to cry in his Ferrari. It's true. My favorite Jared Leto film is Fight Club because he gets his face kicked in. Angel face. And that's good.

That was good. And on that note. I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. And I've been Aaron. Hashtag let me die. So yeah, tweet us at Sanspanceradio and use the hashtag let me die.

Or tweet any of us. If you use the hashtag let me die, we will see it. We'll find it. We'll be like, yeah, good. So if you're going to the midnight screening tonight, tweet us. If you're going to Village Cinema's Crown, we will be there. We'll find it. We'll be like, yeah, good. So if you're going to the midnight screening tonight, tweet us. If you're going to Village Cinema's Crown, we will be there tonight. Come say hey. Come say hey. Even during the film,

if you want. Just get up. What happened? You're gonna just go for a break? Like halfway through? Let's go for a sneaky burger? Like halfway through? Look, I don't smoke, but I'm happy to go for a cigarette break during the film. I will risk cancer. Again.

I'll risk losing the other ball. If halfway through this film you just want to stamp on my testicle, you want to step outside and just crush my nutsack, that's super fine. Let's go nuts. If you see me in the film, and look, I'm not eating a choc top, and you want to go buy me another choc top, because there's been multiple dream sequences.

Just come get me. I like the disparity between the two reasons we're out. That you're getting choc top and somebody in the background is just stamping my balls into the linoleum. Joe's smoking his choc top. It's a good time. Yeah, when you said risking cancer again, I just imagined your dick smoking. That's how you get ball cancer right smoking cigs with your

pee hole pretty much my testicles as the smoke went in and out that's good I like that this is your balls on drugs fuck me see ya

hashtag let me drive. It's, it's the Bar of Blitz. It's, it's the Bar of Blitz. It's, it's the Bar of Blitz. Yeah, it's the Bar of Blitz. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sandspantsradio.com.