Plumbing the Death Star - What Do You Think's Gonna Happen in the New Star Wars Film? (Feat. Steele Saunders)

Episode Date: December 14, 2015

In which our heroes study up on the latest rumours, disregard it all in favour of wild accusations before turning to outright lies as we speculate what’s gonna happen in the latest cinematic masterpiece from Disney; the new Star Wars film. We (eventually) look at the potential linage of the three main characters, find out about some of the dumb stuff being including in the EU and get distracted by a sneezing cat. Jackson gets excited about a potential tiny villain, Zammit would love to see Han got shot in the head mid-sentence and Steele just wants to know if you’ve seen Luke Skywalker. So take what we say with a grain of salt because in the end, it’s all just guesswork and wishful thinking. But we do know one thing for certain; there’s a bloody new Star Wars film this week! Go see it mate.Want to help build reinforced mailboxes on Tatooine? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the late night activities of a certain scruffy looking nerf-herder.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least four books about how to speak. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

San Spence Radio, explaining very, very boring details of our life in great detail, just for you. Today's episode has been brought to you by a whole heap of people, including Adam Bunton, James C. Rainey, Michael, Native Runner, Oliver Cox, Rob Townsend, Aaron Matchin, Aaron Machin, Aaron Mai, okay, sure, Aaron Mai Chin, sorry, Daniel Bird, that guy's got a good last name, Kieran Watson, Sarah Booley, James Horton, Zoe Steele, Ezekiel Tidmore, that's so cool, and Zachary Steinbacher. What a fine bunch of young heroes. I hope you all receive a delicious Christmas ham in the mail from your secret Santa. Now, enjoy the show. One more thing before we start.

In celebration of The Force Awakens, we're having a Star Wars week on Plumbing the Death Star. Today, Steel Saunders, host of the amazing Steel Wars and I Love Green Guide Letters podcasts, fills in for Dusha, who's still coming down from a certain music festival to be of any use to anyone but don't worry he'll be back for the rest of the episodes including the one we're going to record directly after we all see episode 7 together we'll have an audio recording of us verbalizing our instant reactions to what we're hoping is the best star wars film that's been released since 1980, and hopefully not just another Phantom Menace. So, here's an almost three-hour chat that we had with Steel Saunders about what we're hoping to see in the upcoming Star Wars sequel.

Enjoy! Welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, what do you think is going to happen in the new Star Wars film? You're not going to say the title? Nah, everyone knows what it is. Everybody knows. What do you think is going to happen in the new Star Wars film? You're not going to say the title? Nah. Everyone knows what it is. Everybody knows.

It just felt weird that you said it. It's like you were trying to hide it. The new Star Wars film. Guess which one? The Boba Fett one. See, now I want to say it. Yeah? It's the Force Awakens.

Nah, I'm being an idiot. Fuck you. We're not going to say it in the episode. I don't know. I'm sure everybody's speculating. Yeah. Absolute silence. I don't know. What'm sure everybody's speculating. Yeah. Absolute silence. I don't know. What do you reckon, Steel?

Welcome to the show. Oh, that's my introduction? Yeah. Thank you. I was holding out. I wasn't sure of the protocol. No, just jump on in. Just jump on in. Yell over us. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, I think that's what people are speculating about. Yeah, I think they may have...

Potentially. I think a fair chunk of the internet's been dedicated to uh that very topic now you guys i'm gonna have to put out a uh a proviso okay and i will not spill any beans all right but i have seen seen nine or eight minutes of the film officially sanctioned by Disney at IMAX in Sydney. I had to sign a few bits of paper and then afterwards

Harrison Ford came out and made his promise not to tell anyone. Legally, it's like if I say anything, I'm disappointed. I like to think Harrison Ford, like that wasn't an official thing. He's like, I will come to every single screening

and I will come out and I will make goddamn sure. Get out of my cinema. So was it like the first nine minutes or was it like nine minutes? Just like a random nine minute chunk. I will say it would have to be in the first 25 minutes. Okay.

All right. And I can tell you guys it's pretty good. Shit. Get the fuck out. Like it's nine or eight minutes. I couldn't tell. It honestly felt like about three minutes. Oh, wow.

But they assure me it was nine or eight or something. And I cried twice, laughed about 12 times and gasped about 20 times and just cheer. Like we're in for such a treat Wednesday night or Thursday morning. Just this like while I was watching it, I was so excited but I was just like, I can't wait to be with 800 crew. Hear the whole crowd go mental.

Because I was with a crowd. It wasn't a full cinema, which I'm sure is heartbreaking to any Star Wars fan in Sydney. Like, I was there. I had lunch off. And there was a lot of Star Wars fans, but there was a lot of other people, you know, like, I guess, journalists and staff and Disney store employees, the frozen corpse of Walt.

He wasn't that into it. Just his head just there. He was just gagging for him to get back to Hoth. There's a landscape he can appreciate. But it was stunning. It was like – have you ever had like a vivid dream about- Star Wars? Yeah.

Yeah, about like seeing a film or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like that. And I was like, I'm dreaming. I'm nailing this dream, you guys. Dang. And it was funny in a way, like in proper Star Wars funniness where you're not telling a joke.

It's how you react to something and yeah it was like exciting and and shocking and it was it was just it is an adventure it's what star wars is all about because like i have fears going into this film because i mean we've been burnt before with the prequels i think i was watching something on youtube someone was linked was like hey look at all these like people commenting before and after they see the phantom menace and there's people being like it's amazing how excited i mean like of course they were excited for the phantom menace but like like afterwards holy shit that punch in the balls that that must have been but all these people were excited for it no i know but then you go see it and you come out and you're like, George Lucas might as well have just come and punched me in the mouth.

But how old were you when Phantom Menace came out? Oh, I don't remember seeing it. I don't remember much about it at all. You would have been in high primaries. You would have been young. I remember loving Jar Jar Binks as a child. Holy shit, did I love Jar Jar Binks. I would have been like seven.

He was designed for me. I was like, he stood in poo. Yes! Is that why you grew that big beard? To hide your identity? Exactly. So nobody would ever find me. They'd be like, that's the one kid.

He's in Nerd Protection right now. That's the one kid who loved Jar Jar Binks. Yeah, there's this trailer and they've got this clip. I think Shaquille O'Neal is in it at the end. Being like, I love that movie. That movie was the greatest. It's like blank expression it's beautiful i've seen that it's like um it's a great story or something i think it's on

hello grito he posted he's a great youtube dude and so i have that concern going in of like what if this is like disappointing that's i I mean, my expectations, I've sort of tried not to get too hyped up for this because I just don't want those expectations just shattered. But the problem might be like, what if this is just a film? What if this is just an okay? That's not what I'm like. That's the MESO catchphrase.

Yeah. He's trademarked that. You're going to jail. I am. Tony Stark beard wearing motherfucker is going to smack i am tony stark beard wearing motherfucker's gonna smack well just back to the fan as i might because i've you know i've been thinking about a lot lately and we had on on steel wars we had warwick holt on who made the fandom menace documentary which followed you know some you know prominent melbourne fans to their their journey to the Force Awakens,

journey to Phantom Menace. Wow. And their reactions afterwards and it led to a great friend of mine and probably like in the 90s what you'd maybe classify as Australia's biggest Star Wars fan, this guy Shane Morrissey that founded the Star Walking Fan Club. Awesome dude. And he just had an unbridled passion biggest Star Wars fan, this guy Shane Morrissey that founded the Star Walking Fan Club. Awesome dude. And, you know, he just had an unbridled passion for Star Wars.

And the Phantom Menace ended up, like led him to sell his entire collection and just move away. Oh, man. Wow. And I'm talking pieces of the Death Star-like level collection. Just that to be just like, I'm done with this. That's amazing. Yeah, but he's sort of, he's back and he's more amped than ever.

Hope he's not going to have to sell it again. That would suck. You burn me again? Fire up the old eBay account. God damn it. But my memory, so I had him on to sort of as a cautionary tale. As if to say what we can do. Because he's not really a fan.

And he was saying he does have a bit of a sly grin. Just going, they've fallen for it all again. Do you know what I mean? Which from an outsider, it's the exact same thing. That's the fear. I mean, because I've tried to stay away from too many spoilers. Like I've been trying to... Not at all.

Like I think I've watched the trailer and I've watched the tease and that kind of stuff. And kudos to what they're doing because they're not really giving much of the story away in the trailers. And I love that they're doing this now. I hope they haven't given away any of the stories. Can we talk about the way like so many of our spoilers come out today from lego do you ever see this it's like oh this lego set shows the villain of the film even though the trailers haven't yet yeah i think in um it's happened it happened with guardians of galaxy it

happened with uh avengers 2 it's happened with fucking Batman vs Superman it's happened with. There was a Lego figurine set that came out with Lex Luthor and the whole fucking Lex Luthor armor. Oh really? You just spoiled it for me now. Sorry everyone who was fucking excited for Batman. I don't read Lego fucking

monthly like you do. I can now imagine Lex Luthor in a suit I've got no idea what it looks like. Little yellow head. But how funny is it that there's like a miscommunication between like the film company but like all film companies and Lego.

It's like Lego just brings it out and everyone's like they fucking did it again. James Gunn when with the baby Groot he made sure that there was no toys of like the pop final baby Groot before the film came that there was no toys of the pop final baby Groot before the film came out. And so everyone was like, I want a baby Groot. He's like, it's coming, but not now because we didn't want it spoiled.

Yeah, I really respect that from J.J. Abrams. And he was saying that he was really worried about, in an interview I listened to the other day, that he sort of projected that he'd have to have arguments about this all the time. And he was saying that, you know, Disney were really, you know,

on the team to keep all that stuff. And I've got, you know, to be someone that's so immersed in Star Wars and Star Wars culture and I've got no idea what happens at the end or yeah like it's really good it's but what do we think it's the topic of the episode what do we think is gonna happen in the end okay there's gonna be some dark side light side flipping that's happening you can't stop that happening what about um i reckon a good place to start is everyone's surnames. Okay. All right. So we've got three characters.

You've got Kylo Ren, and we don't know if Kylo's his first name or not, but we know Ren's not his surname. It's like a hyphen, is it? Or is he a Kylo? Like Grand Moffs? No, Ren's his designation. Oh, okay.

Because he's a Knight of Ren. Oh, what? You don't know about the knights of Wren? And you're reading spoilers? I'm skimming spoilers. I'm seeing what's about. The Gungans help our heroes. That's the spoilers you're onto at the moment.

Are they? You're so good. So the knights of Wren. What are these knights? What's good about them? What's this Knights of Ren? How do you guys not... You said spoiler. I was worried about you telling

me things. I mean I'm not filtering anything out. Because I think of the three of us, I care significantly the least about Star Wars. That is true. I wouldn't consider myself not a fan, but like

like well you know i'll see it i'll be like good and that'll just be the end of that probably for me so if a spoiler happens to me i'm not like i'm just like okay hey how you doing i've not come across the knights of run okay the knights of rain are sort of i'm not sure what they are exactly, but I believe they're kind of like force users. Good. Okay. Or they may not be force users, but I'm pretty sure they love Darth Vader. Okay.

I guess maybe kind of like a, you know, a group of, you know, racists or something that like really, like that, you know, now look back to Hitler and go. So like, is the Knights of Ren the neo-Nazis of Star Wars? Yeah, maybe. But I think they really like hail Darth Vader and, you know, obviously Kylo Ren's got a, he's one of the galaxy's leading Star Wars collectors.

Yeah. He's got a mask. He's got the whole thing. Yeah, he's got the Darth Vader helmet. And so, yeah, so Kylo Ren, that's, it's like. He's Kylo of Ren. Yeah, it's like Darth Vader and stuff. Yeah, yeah, so Kylo Ren, it's like- He's Kylo of Ren. Yeah, it's like Darth Vader and stuff. Yeah, okay, cool.

So, and I believe in one of the teasers of the trailers when there's Kylo and he's standing there with his sword ignited and it's sort of lightnings and there's all people around him. Yeah. It is presumed and I'm at a- My spoiler level is if the Disney company would like me to know this, I will go, thanks, Mickey. I will ingest that.

But anything past that, I'm not interested in at all. And yeah, so it is presumed that they are the Knights of Ren. Now, I saw a fascinating poster that I was in LA and they had this art show called art awakens at and if you're ever in la and you listen to this podcast you must there's two galleries on melrose called gallery 1988 they've got they've got two galleries but it's one place and they it's just all pop culture art so i've had i've been there for like a Seinfeld art show, Back to the Future one.

And they had this amazing with – they've done like Lost and Breaking Bad and stuff. And they've got a really good relationship with Bad Robot. So they did this Art Awakens show, which for the opening, like JJ and Lawrence Kasdan, they all went and stuff. So it was a lot of prominent artists. Mike, is it Mike Shinoda,

Shinita of Lincoln Park? He painted up a full size, he painted a full size Stormtrooper out. That was his art piece. But there was all this amazing art, but there was this really cool painting that someone had done of the Knights of Ren. And I have no idea

if it's got anything to do with the film at all or he just went, this is my concept of what it would be. But it's Kylo Ren and other Knights of Ren and they're standing around this like 20-foot statue of Darth Vader in this temple. And it was just a fascinating image. It was just like something that just sets your mind. Yeah, yeah. You sort of get this idea from all the trailers fascinating image just that was just like you know something that just sets your mind yeah yeah

you sort of get this idea from all the trailers that the events of the original trilogy have become like this idea of myth and this idea of like yeah you know what i mean you get this idea that like the people are like did it happen i am unsure because always when looking at the star wars universe is just how much does like general, does the average person know about the events of what's happening? Well, I find that fascinating, the real world knowledge of what's going on. And in Return of the Jedi, we found out so much about the family tree and this, that and the other.

But if you like Ultimate Warrior Press, the leader of the galaxy down a chamber, but do you know what I mean? If an emperor falls down a shaft and there's no one there to see it, is it really seen? You know like Aunt Beru's neighbors down in the little hole?

Are they aware of what's going on? Yeah, exactly. Are they just like the most intense thing that happened to them within living memory was when they people came by and burnt those guys remember that luke skywalker kid he went missing disappeared listen to that guy but yeah i think it's definitely a um i guess maybe like i kind of of think Luke Skywalker's like Jesus. Yeah, I think that's fair. In the Star Wars galaxy.

And maybe because it is, you know, 30 years has passed, but it's 30 years in a giant galaxy. Exactly. So sort of if you, I reckon the 2,000 years, like if you did a sum, if you then timesed it by the space. Like the space of space. Yeah, then that would work out. It's like, yeah. Yeah, roughly the same.

I think that's very fair. Because I was wondering, like for the average citizen, if they wouldn't know much was happening, but if they found out, it's like, hang on. So that guy who saved us, this Luke character, he was the son of Vader? Yeah, I know. What a twist.

That would be a scandal. That wouldn't be like an amazing yay. That'd be like, no, this is a cover-up. There's a scandal going on here. What's this? I wouldn't trust Luke, really. I'd be like, Darth Vader character was building a Death Star. His son, they say he came along and stopped it,

but why do I got to trust this guy? Yeah, well, that's the thing of like, you know, Luke Skywalker's not in the film. He's judgy. You know, he's not hanging with everyone. Yeah, he's not in the film. The galaxy is judgy. You know, he's not hanging with everyone. Yeah, he's not about. And is it because he's just like, I can't be seen anymore. Yeah.

Because I am like how the mainstream media, you know, you're Andy Bolt of the Star Wars galaxy. What would they be saying, you know, about the son of Darth Vader? For sure. what would they be saying about the son of Darth Vader? Exactly. And almost like in say like the X-Men or something like that where people are like scared of the mutant powers and stuff. And the fact that when in Revenge of the Sith,

the Emperor got out that the Jedi lost their shit. Yeah. So that's been the story told over the last 30 years and then like john i mean so it's it's not like you crack open a lightsaber and everyone's like asking for an autograph no no no yeah they'll be like don't cut my head off because yeah you gotta i'd be scared of jedis what what the sort of narrative that the emperor was spinning for quite some time and started off with like look at my you know look what the jedis it's in my face and they're just like, look what the Jedi's did to my face.

And they're just like off the fucking chain. So they need to be put down. Everyone was like, yes, they do. Good. So then when you have like another Jedi come up and kill the Emperor and that, because I always wondered like, what was the Empire and the Emperor doing

that was so bad to the general public before Alderaan? Like, yes, they blew up Alderaan. I get that. But even before then, like what were they blew up Alderaan I get that but even before then like what were they really doing that was that evil well to if you watch Star Wars Rebels

I haven't seen the second season but I think I want to catch up before the Force Awakens comes out good luck with that because it's in four days I can do this you've got to I don't think it like you know it bears Good luck with that because it's in four days. I can do this. You've got to get by. I don't think it bears no impact on The Force Awakens.

I think where you want to catch up is before next December when it's Rogue One because whether or not they're going to tie in at all. But it's the same timeline. Do you know what I mean? There is a theory that Rebels which is set maybe 5 years before Star Wars and then Rogue One which is set like just before

it's how they got the plans for the Death Star and if you say it's boffins you're not the Star Wars nerd you think you are buddy because you are in the wrong movie, different Death Star but yeah in Star Wars nerd you think you are, buddy, because you are in the wrong movie. Different Death Star. But, yeah, in Star Wars Rebels, they're exploiting,

like they need resources to build their Death Stars and their Star Destroyers. Yeah. And they're not, like they'll just get it, like they'll just reclaim. They're just mining. They'll just like exploit planets and spit them out and that sort of stuff. That's pretty bad. That's pretty bad.

Fair enough. Do I, again, coming back to this idea of being like you average Joe Q Spacely, do I know that this is happening? Am I reading in the news another planet eaten by the Empire turned into... No, because they control the Empire. They control the... It's like Korea. Do you know what I mean?

Another planet gloriously mined by evil aliens destroyed. Shit, yes. Another planet honoured to help us on our quest. To build the Death Star. Why build the Death Star? For our glory, I guess. And that's just like...

So on Earth, there are terrible things happening all over the planet. But as like in your day-to-day life, you're not thinking about them and you might not even know about them. If you like extrapolate that to space, if a whole planet gets destroyed and I'm living in the hole that is next to Uncle whatever and Aunt Beru, I don't know.

I just know about my whole business. That's true. I'm like, is the moisture crop good? Good. Have we got blue milk yet? Great. Sweet. But then that morning when you go over to remind Uncle Owen,

Aunt Beru how you don't care, and you see their charred skeletons, you're like, ooh. It's like that's a daily routine, like over there. Yo, Owen, don't care. Don't give a shit, Owen. Your son wants to leave leave he's a bad moisture farmer you bought him a space car too young that was a very noisy neighborhood they lived in everyone was yelling at like even in the movie everyone's yelling at each other i wanted to get out fair

enough fluke that makes sense it's a desert planet really there's not much to do i always kind of imagine because you know he he had that fancy space car. You always kind of imagine him playing, what do you call it, mailbox baseball. Just ride along slamming the baseballs of the little hole houses. Going down over the salt flats. Because he had nothing to do.

Like Luke, he's got to entertain himself somehow. I agree. Have you seen the deleted scenes where they go hang out like at Arnold's? Oh, no. That sounds awesome. It's like it does not paint.

Like if you thought Luke was whiny, if you see him in this other scene, like even amongst his friends, he's a real dickhead. Oh, my God, Luke. Shut the fuck up and just drink. Fucking Luke.

Like and there's this chick, Cammy and Fixer. Fixer goes out with Cammy and he's a bit of a player. And Luke's there. And Fixer just wants him to fuck off so he can finger Cammy again. That's amazing. So Luke's just cock blocking without even knowing it. That's the best kind of friend.

Oh, Luke. He's like, Luke, don't you think you should go home? No, I'm pretty cool here. I'm enjoying it. That's great, Luke. Let's go to the drive-in. But it's funny, like, you know, like, we're talking about, like, Luke kills Vader.

And, like, if you read about that in the paper, that would be like in, like, a war-torn country where, like, some people of that killed the people in charge there and you'd just be like, okay he doesn't kill Vader by the way oh that's true that's my bad but you know what I mean like that whole conflict is so kind of like even explaining that that would be

missing I think that would be people being like no Luke killed Vader because it would be like no no no no Luke just did it and then Vader picked up the emperor and then they were like so Luke killed Vader fine sure but it's like for the rest of the galaxy it's like just did it and then Vader picked up the Emperor and then they were like, so Luke killed Vader? Fine, sure. But it's like for the rest of the galaxy,

it's like three dudes went into a room and there was just a bunch of noises. And then just one dude dragged out another dude and it's just like, I have no idea what the fuck happened in there. Whatever it was, it was intense. So getting back to the names. Yes, oh yeah. Kylo Ren. Fuck, we got off topic. So getting back to the names. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Kylo Ren. Fuck, we got off top. All right. So Kylo Ren. All right. So Kylo Ren. Yeah. So you reckon it's going to be very, like,

almost interconnected with, like, this is the son of this person, this is the daughter of this person. You reckon it's going to do that? No, I think they didn't give out the three names because that adds more confusion. Like if you don't say one person's surname, you're like, they're someone. Yeah.

But when you don't put the surnames of three, you're like, well, one of them's someone, but you don't know which one or maybe two of them are. So that's like quite brilliant. So you've got Kylo Ren, you've got Rey, who's the kind of like the Luke Skywalker-esque character that's stuck on Jakku apparently. Yeah, not Tatooine. Definitely not Tatooine, everyone.

Just chill the fuck out. And she has said in one of the teasers that her family left her. She's waiting for her family to come back. And so she's been there since five by herself. Maybe they're not coming back. At this point, they've gone to the store

To get some milk and cigarettes That is one hard to find Pack of ciggies Exactly It's like yeah Dad said he wanted to get A pack of menthol 27's And

Where's he gone Who knows He's got OCD It has to be 27 He'll be back He'll be back End of the earth To get those cigarettes

And then There's Finn John Boyega who's the stormtrooper, who it appears like he sort of realises the error of his ways and joins the good side. So it's a matter of those who, what are their surnames? Are they, like, do they have any interaction with each other? But then the other brilliant thing is like, well, if they are related to, like I love all the different variables.

So you've got three that you don't know. And then are they related to like Leia and Han? Are they related to Luke? Are they related to like Leia and Han? Yeah. Are they related to Luke? Are they related to, you know, is there somewhere a Ben Kenobi grandchild in play? Are they all the children of Lando Calrissian? He does get around. So that's a funny comment, but I do,

I can't stand and I find it like, you know, when someone's like racist yeah they're not malicious in their racism and i i find it like it's not positive that because you see a black person in star wars you're like well that has to be lando carrizia or the grandchild of mace windu you're like there are two black lineages in the entirety of Star Wars. No. And it is... Luke might have got jungle fever.

We don't know. On Endor, Lando got a bit of Ewok fever. That was some pretty sensual clapping at the end of Jedi. Tell me you wouldn't, Jack. Look me in the fucking eyes. Tell me you wouldn't. No Look me in the fucking eyes Tell me you wouldn't I'd happily fuck any walk I'm just putting on a good show for the audience

I'd fuck whatever you threw at me I'd love to part Princess Kinesa's fur Yes Gross dog face I'm in So I I would say There is, like, if it gets revealed,

I always like to think about things that, like, if it got revealed, this of the groan in the cinema. Like, you know, like, oh, my God. You'd walk out going, it was pretty good when Anakin hated sand. It was solid. It was amazing. I mean, I wouldn't have never picked it. That would be the uh pickup

line i'd use on natalie portman yes yeah that's good but um i don't think um i don't think he's going to be related to anyone what do you guys have any thoughts on that i would say yeah finn i think is just going to be and i would prefer if he was just a dude of happenstance who was like chucked in as a stormtrooper realizing we're doing some crazy shit such a more interesting story than it's like oh he's someone's kid somebody's child and you're like okay then you get like a whole mess of trash in there and i think we're like-minded in that in the prequels too many family trees yeah So many unnecessary connections. It'd be like, you know, me suddenly going out in the world

and not knowing much and then just suddenly becoming in my 30s a bank manager meeting my dad and being like, you too. And I'm like, what? Exactly. Dumb. Very dumb. But also, I talked about this. I can't remember where.

It was on. Actually, I have't remember where. It was on. Actually, I have no idea what medium this was on, but it is recorded and broadcasted somewhere. But Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, building C-3PO is a Mad Magazine parody. Do you know what I mean? In the late 80s, there was a mad magazine thing that sort of when lucas said there was going to be nine films and it wasn't actually a parody but it is no but it's up there with like like it was like stuff in in episode 17 lando marries chewy's

cousin in all my wookies like it was shit shit like that. And it is so ludicrous that Darth Vader built C-3PO that it fits in with the Mad Magazine. Yeah, it sounds like something somebody would have come up with. Yeah. So just... It was mind wiped, yeah?

C-3PO? Yeah. All the times. All the times. Yeah, good. Yeah, just too much... That was a massive error. Yeah.

And someone needed to like... Yeah. Like, have you... I don't know much about... Do you like watch Amazing Spider-Man and Amazing Spider-Man 2? Have you seen those films? Oh, no. Like the new ones?

Yeah. No, I have not seen either of those. I've seen the first one. I haven't seen the second because it's just apparently trash and everyone tells me it's trash. But the biggest problem there is that everything is so interconnected to peter it just becomes ridiculous like his whole all his villains all come from oscorp and everything is just it's about it's all just like he had to be bitten by the spider because the spider was rigged his dna and

so if it had been anyone else they wouldn't have become spider-man so it has to be and so i hate that sort of um sort of it is based on the ultimate spider-man books by bender uh brian michael bendis and they they do do the whole interconnection thing and it does it well but in a film it just makes the world small because you've only got a limited amount of time to be like everything's connected yeah you know you're not watching an event. You're watching something that was... I don't know. It's hard to explain why it's so unpleasant, but...

It's a very big universe. I would say the things I like least about Star Wars, the humour in the prequels. Oh, it's appalling. And I'm a stand-upup comedian so it hurts even deeper fair enough and the the interconnectivity the over internet connectivity and then in like the the what's not called the expanded universe anymore but in the canon they've like they wiped it and then they've like i'm like i was like okay i'm buying everything

from now on yeah like i don't collect comics or anything but i'm like i'm getting every star wars comic i'm getting every book because it's i tried what they said was i'm wiping they're wiping it and it's they got this panel and i'm like well this is going to be awesome they're not going to let any crap go through now there's this book called aftermath right yeah yeah have you read it i've started i think about three or four chapters in i i hear that a lot and it's i don't like it when they try to add more to a classic scene there's something happening just just out of camera and when it's like a thing like there was books where it was like the cantina the tales of the cantina and they just told the stories of what all those people were doing

and they were of no real consequence you know that's fun in aftermath you follow the story of a bounty hunter who and i'm just gonna brace myself here because it is the most, I was just like, I was like, you wiped, like, and this is my thing with Jurassic World as well, how he goes, like he got,

I'm not, we're not counting, you know, two and three. Well, that to me says, well, because you think your film is pretty fucking good.

Yeah, exactly. And it's going to step to the plate and it's going to be like seamless and stuff. But there's this character, this bounty hunter, and they're lining up a shot of this Imperial from some like tower or something and something gets in the way. And that reminds her of when she was on Endor

and she had a bounty on Princess leia and she was up a tree and leia had been wounded at the bunker and she had a shot and an atat walked in front and it was chewbacca's atst atst i should say i was on a plane and it was just, I just need to scream right now. You've wiped it for this. This is what you all sat around your bloody sweet table in San Francisco and just went like, great, this is going to tie together perfectly. Okay. First of all, top secret mission.

Top secret. How did a fucking bounty hunter Know she was going to Endor Eat of the ground mate It's on Endor It just happens That luck Pure luck And just happened to be up a tree

With a shot Just So when Like And they do this thing Where they say It all counts now It's all part of the canon.

It all counts. So when I watch Return of the Jedi and in the background with that ATSD, I can go, oh, there's that fucking bounty hunter, can I? There she is. Get fucked. Wow. I was just like, reboot. Reboot.

It's the time. Yeah, I love when they, because I read a lot of comics, and I always love when they're Every what, three months They're like, we're starting again Reboot, reboot, reboot Because they do And then they get to another point

Where it's like, we got ridiculous again I'm so sorry We fucked it up We fucked it up Reboot again It's like, why do you do this? Why can't we just maybe tell the story What's the difference between

When you're playing an arcade game and things aren't going well. Yes. Like you lose your whatever. Yeah. And when you're playing a home entertainment system. Yes. Do you know what I mean? It's so easy like on a, you know, whatever, an Xbox or whatever,

just to go, ah, I'm just resetting it, going to the start. Yeah, go back to my previous one. You know, back in the day when you're in the arcade and you've dropped down some hard coin and you've lost your skateboard in Wonder Boy. Yeah. You're going to keep going. Exactly.

Yeah, because you're like, I don't want to start from the start. Yeah. Because you said arcade and I couldn't stop imagining like when you whack an alligator with a thing. Those were fun. That was a great game. Anyway, sorry. Go on.

So let's get back to that film. Yes. Hang on. Before we do. Anyway, sorry. Go on. So let's get back to that film. Yes. Hang on. Before we do. Yeah, okay. Because we were talking about C-3PO and Anakin before. And you were like, we wiped C-3PO's mind. But Vader remembers, yeah?

Assumedly, yeah. So when Vader sees C-3PO and R2 in the opening scene, he's like, hey, what the fuck's my robot doing on this ship? No, he doesn't see them. Yeah. And also, he didn't have gold plates last time he saw CKPO. Oh, yeah, right. And there are other droids that look similar.

Yeah. That would have been a weird moment for him, though. He would have had to think about the world. That is kind of like if you have your favorite toy that's somehow also sentient. Yeah. And it goes off in other adventures. And you've got a dog. Okay, dog.

And a dog disappears. You built a dog. It doesn't matter if I built a dog. I't matter if i you both often have wicked space adventures yeah and then just magically appear on like what's one point yeah you think how big space is also i think how big that ship was you built a dog you built a dog yep you let the dog go 10 years later it comes back comes back and you're like why? but not really it just somehow you were in the same

supermarket but you didn't cross paths you were like oh yeah sense my dog in the next aisle that's basically what happened gotta

wow speaking of fucking Vader but you're bringing up how you're saying about remembering Vader yeah Vader remembers that that brings up

another one of my traumatic things about this film series that has given me so much joy. That you're expecting Vader to remember C-3PO. Yeah. Obi-Wan doesn't remember R2-D2. And you might say, it's just like a microwave. It's just a microwave. it's just like a microwave it's just a microwave

well have you ever saved fucking the leader of the universe with a microwave you remember the microwave exactly it was a god damn Panasonic and the thing is Lucas

knew he was going into that last film Obi-Wan name checks R2D2 like five times in the film. Lovingly name checks R2-D2. It's so funny to imagine like old Obi-Wan. I don't recall owning a droid. How great is it to just imagine the whole time he's like trying to remember in the back of his head.

He's like, how the fuck do I know this droid? He's like, R5-D4. Gonk droid. I don't know the fucking droids I've known in my life. I've known so many droids. He's like, the fuck? How perfect memory. But speaking of Vader,

because I always loved that. Why did like Vader, like you hide Luke Skywalker on Tatooine and give him the last name Skywalker. Why was that? I love the idea that, oh, maybe Obi-Wan was smart and was setting a trap or maybe like, hey, Vader didn't want to go back to Tatooine and giving the last name Skywalker. Why was that? I love the idea that, Oh, maybe Obi-Wan was smart and was setting a trap and, or maybe like,

Hey, Vader didn't want to go back to Tatooine. Cause it was like, when trauma happened and I'm like, yeah, okay, cool. I can kind of make that head cannon.

And then like, I pick up episode like one or two of issue one or two of the new Vader comic books. And it's like, nah, he goes and sees Jabba. I'm like, Oh,

he's just there at the same time. Doesn't pick up on like, nah, nah, Luke Skywalker is smacking mailboxes. Nah, well actually I stopped reading that one. By then, Luke had gone. Oh, okay. Because he was on the trail of Luke Skywalker.

So it was after Star Wars. Oh, rightio. But it is, I don't know, because and it was also in the former canon that like, you know, Vader would never go back to Tatooine. That's why he didn't go down to the planet. Okay, because it makes sense. Because he just never wanted to go back there.

So let's get back onto the topic. We've talked about every other Star Wars film. Exactly. The names of these three characters. Okay, so you've got Rey. Do you guys have any thought? What about this? I think it's safe to assume that out of Rey or Finn,

one of them has to have the force. Yeah, I think it's a, yeah, for sure. Yes. I would say, isn't it Finn? Because I see him holding a lightsaber on the covers. You can have a lightsaber and not have a force. Can you? Look at fucking the robot lad from episode...

Grievous. Grievous, that's the ticket. I guess. He has like five. He didn't have an ounce of force in him. I guess you don't need a force to wield a lightsaber. Like if I just picked up a lightsaber, like I wouldn't wield it well,

but I could have it. I guess so. I also, one more shout out to Marvel Star Wars The last comic of yours I read It did have a big splash page Of Chewbacca, Han Solo And Princess Leia All fighting with lightsabers

You Fuck yourself That's amazing The boys are just I love it, it's good That's amazing The boys are just I love it It's good That's just Anyway

Reboot Reboot Scratch it all, start again I wanna I think Ray is Definitely the daughter of I reckon Han and Leia, that of, I reckon Han and Leia.

That's what I reckon. But see, when you say that, what are the logistics of how she got there? That's a good point. But did they just like stop down there for a bit? Yeah. And they were like, well, I like that. Anyway.

I would assume that like Han might be also a bit of a bad dad because like how Chewie is like a bit of a bad dad. I just figured that's like, no, no, go play over there in the swing set. We'll be back in five. Chewie, go, Chewie, run, Chewie. Before you like it. Yeah, that's true. Well, hey, it's a possibility that Han's just a deadbeat.

Chewie's left his son with his bizarre uncle that watches porn all day. Exactly. So, you know, I think Han might have been taking a couple of cues from Chewie. And I'm just not making that up. That is the former Star Wars canon, you guys. I always loved this idea.

I don't remember where I read it, but that, and I'm sure it's not the case, but it's really funny that chewy is like an idiot savant like he's not actually saying anything when he makes his chewbacca noises but it's just like han solo finds this guy who's just got nothing going on upstairs but he's like fucking amazing at fixing spaceships and he's like i'll just take this guy i'll just take this i say he's my best friend he can just fix the ship because he knows what he's doing. Just an amusing idea. Okay, Chewie.

I know what you're saying. Or it's like maybe Rey is maybe Luke's daughter. That'd be, I mean, hey, if it's like, oh, Rey's Luke's daughter. She bumps into Han and Leia. Han and Leia are like, yo, your dad's out there somewhere. She's going to find her dad. Then you got like the whole father-child thing going on again. Oh, would we make more sense

if Kylo was the son of Luke and sort of idolizes the granddad? I think I'll be sort of bummed. And maybe it's because I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but I think I'd be pretty bummed out if they tried to go for that level of symmetry. Yeah. I would be like, that's kind of a cheap tactic. But also I think like families that have twins do tend to have a lot of twins.

That's true. Oh, so you reckon Kylo and Rey are potential? Well, there's a chance. Yeah, yeah. There's a chance. Yeah, I think, I actually think Rey is the Force user. Yeah. I think we have not seen, we've seen Finn with the Force user. Yeah. I think we have not seen...

We've seen Finn with the lightsaber. But it's not his. He's found it. Yeah, yeah. Just picked it up. And when Kylo Ren goes to fight him, he does shit himself. That's true.

That's a good point. So we've never actually seen him use it. And we have to, this is the thing, we're dealing with J.J. Abrams. He liked his Mr. X. Yeah. So I kind of think Rey has to be the Jedi. Yeah. And like, do you know what I mean?

They're on such a, you you know they really want to put women into the forefront yeah so even just having a kick-ass girl but to have like a jedi yeah like that's that's quite a statement it always bummed me out that leia was like force sensitive but like just somehow hadn't picked up on it herself you know what i mean like just somehow in her life she'd never been like oh holy shit i've knocked over a bottle with my my mind let's focus in on that really good at this but oh well i guess i don't know maybe princessing keeps you busy i don't know what about the title the force awakens where has it been um why is it because it's kind of like the trailer where Han comes out and he's like, all that bullshit was true and real.

I'm guessing. Yeah, I kind of think trying to work out the title is a waste of time. I would assume that the Jedi have been like, there's just nothing. Maybe that Luke meant to start an academy for Jedis, he just didn't. Or he went into hiding or something. I guess if you look at the like the way they've been named in the past the original trilogy more than the prequel trilogy no no no but i mean it's always been pretty straightforward it's like return of the jedi

like the jedi have returned that's that's what they're doing here but you hope it was an old but which jedi returned i'll see that that's a good question. See, I think like Return of the Jedi makes when you're, if it's 1982 and you're at Return of the Jedi, that means Luke Skywalker's returning. But I think it actually means Darth Vader came back. It's actually a spoiler. Oh, like he came. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it was like Return of the Jedi as in like, hey, they're back. They're good now. They were gone, but they've that was like the return of the Jedi, as in like, hey, they're back. Like, they're good now. They were gone, but they've come back again. Luke's the first one. He's now like the champion of like making a new whole thing of Jedi. Whereas fucking the Phantom Menace. The poor old Jedi is a Jedi. Who was the Phantom Menace?

That was the Emperor. That was the Emperor. Was he that much of a Phantom Menace? Yes. Oh, no. No one else knew about it. I love that you say that in a tone where it's like This guy's got a good point

And it's just like actually yes He was a phantom menace He was in the shadows And he did take over the galaxy I'm not sure what more do you want him to do I guess that is a phantom-ish menace No what's your problem I think menace is the wrong word

He was a bit more than that Did you want him to be more phantom Or more menacing More phantom I think menace is the wrong word. He was a bit more than that. Did you want him to be more phantom or more menacing? More phantom, I think. Pull the cloak over a bit further. Hide more of your face. Detune the hologram a little bit more. A little bit hazier.

So yeah. See, Attack of the Clones, you could have been like, you know. No, Attack of the Clones is another trick. Because going into that. Yeah, you're thinking bad guys. Yeah, I thought I was so shocked when it turned out the clones were good guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, when they jumped out and they started fighting for the Jedi, I was just like, oh, wow, that's amazing.

So, yeah, you have to be like the four. Like, obviously, because you're a Star Wars um well one of your Star Wars the other one just likes I'm getting by the other one just likes to say the titles in sarcastic tones to make it look like he's proving a point who are they revenging against a new hope they could have been a bit sithier. What happened to the old one? Just taking Star Wars titles and doing them like Jerry Seinfeld stand-up. Empire Strikes Back, not one baseball game played. Oh, good. I'm feeling good.

Gotta amuse yourself, Jack. Yeah, gotta make yourself laugh. Yeah, so the force could be likeuse yourself, Jack. Yeah, gotta make yourself laugh. Yeah, so the force could be like the force, the living force, or is the force awakening that the First Order have been in hiding and they're waiting to attack and they've got their Starkiller base

and they're like, you know, the alarm bell goes off in the morning and they all wake up, they get ready to troop. Bacon and eggs. Head out. And let's fucking crush some sons. Done.

Fucking done, mate. So I reckon, I don't know. So I reckon... It's so weird because I just don't actually have any idea of what is even going on with this whole film. Like someone was like, oh yeah, Andy Serkis is playing some snook dude and Snoke, Snoke or whatever.

I knew his name. And then that whole Darth Jar Jar thing came out. You know that, you know. That beautiful theory. And then the guy's been like, oh, clearly Andy Serkis is going to be playing Jar Jar, but as a snook dude. Does anyone really pitch that theory

with a straight face? I don't know. Some of the stuff, you see the things where somebody's talking in the Phantom Menace and then Jar Jar's lips are syncing with that person's talking? Why though? I don't like it that it makes sense at points because it's like one of those

watching those documentaries about conspiracy theories and they throw something at you like does that make sense? They throw something else like maybe it does make sense and they keep throwing stuff and you're like no I'm convinced. But it doesn't make the film any better. People give George Lucas way too much credit. It's like

going like that whole, if that thing was true, that's like saying oh yeah, Jesus he got crucified but he did it in a way like he made sure he got killed on the cross because he knew about the merchandising possibilities genius i like the idea and i would love like a weirdly i'd love a candid conversation with lucas to be like look honestly you had plans for Jar Jar. He's your favourite character. You've said that on multiple occasions.

Behind the scenes, you've got you being like, he's the key to everything. What were your actual legitimate plans before, I guess, studio heads and people were like, please, we hate him. Write him out of whatever else you've got next. I think I'd be happy either way. No studio head told him not to put him in. Really?

No. So did he just listen to the fans it's his movie he owns the movies he paid for the movie 20th century fox they're just the distributor they were just like okay they're just like it doesn't like either way they're making hundreds of millions of dollars um so they're not like the one thing george like george lucas's most hated thing in the world is interference from movie studios. Yeah. So when he did THX 1138 and it got made into a feature film, it was like a student film.

And then the Paramount, I can't remember, it doesn't matter what studio, but they edited it. They took out five minutes and his whole thing was like what's the point of taking out five minutes like yeah like it's a film and then same with american graffiti and so he he had this real grudge against film studios and being controlled and so when he had the um he he had some deal there was some discussion he had the... He had some deal... There was some discussion he had with someone at 20th Century Fox about Star Wars and they said, you get paid this much because we're putting up all the cash.

That's why we get such a big chunk. And then when he financed Empire Strikes Back and he sent them the memo with the deal and the deal was not good for them. Like it's going to be great because they're still going to make money. But it's like, you know, do you want, you know, 10 cents out of every, you know, dollar

or do you want, you know, 40 cents, you know? And when you're talking about hundreds of millions, like either way you're going to be doing pretty well. And they were like, oh no, that's not our normal agreement. He goes, oh no, because you said you got this much money because you were financing it well i'm financing it so i'm taking that bit as well and they were just like oh you've got a memory and an attitude don't you but so so he paid for everything so no one could that was the problem with those films is that no one could tell him what to do there are interviews with him where he's like

I had to cut back Jar Jar. There's a whole thing where he's like I forget what he says. I know it's on him. But that's just the populace. But that's not a movie head. No, not at all. But he still took what was he going to do?

Oh yeah, yeah. If George Lucas was like yeah, I had the whole Darth Jar Jar thing, it's going to be crazy. I'd be like hook like what did he what was he gonna do oh yeah yeah and like i think if george lucas was like yeah i had the whole darth jar jar thing it's gonna be crazy i'd be like that's amazing but if he was like just more jar jar shenanigans that's kind of amazing too not from like the perspective of a film goer but the george lucas loved jar jar that much just in his head was like this is amazing if they'd like so childlike it'slike. It's beautiful. This is like... Like he ruined Jar Jar. If Jar Jar was in the film as much as Niamh Numb, who's Lando's co-pilot in The Millennium Falcon.

Double face. People fucking love Niamh Numb. He's great. Like, you know. Little rambunctions. But if Niamh Numb was in all of Return of the Jedi. That would be so amazing. See, I fell into George Lucas's trap there, didn't I?

That's why if I was making, I'd be like, how good? And everyone would be like, please, no. Look at him. He doesn't speak English. He gave Neem Numb a goddamn fucking lightsaber. Neem Numb, he's about. He's everywhere. And he's like... Oh, Jesus. Give him two lightsabers.

Why not? Oh, my God. And that's a conversation George Lucas must have had in his head. I know, George Lucas, somebody sat him down, he's like, so I got this Jar Jar Binks character, and they're like, okay, and he's like, how many lightsabers should I give him? And they're like, none, George.

All right, so about an hour into the podcast, let's get to the actual topic. okay and he's like how many lightsabers should i give him they're like none george all right so about an hour into the podcast let's get to the actual topic yes what do we think is gonna happen this is what i think it starts with a scroll scrolling text scrolling text um In some fashion, I think from what we've seen, and I'm basing this purely, you guys, on what I've seen in the teasers, and I can bring up source material from those teasers to tell you, but obviously it seems like Poe Dameron, the X-Wing pilot, gets captured by the First Order.

We've seen him getting walked through corridors and getting tortured by Kylo Ren. I sort of think that Finn witnesses the torturing. Like, you might think that he's in the army and he's fighting the good fight and then sort of bears witness to the treatment of Oscar Isaac or Poe Dameron and sort of realizes that the leader of the force, Kylo Ren, is fucking nuts. Or perhaps, you know, there's the Starkiller base which is on the poster which is sort of what the Death Star is thing like either that seeing that or maybe a combination oh yeah and going oh this is good yeah um know, and so I think maybe, so obviously Finn escapes in that TIE fighter that we've seen taken off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It gets shot on the way out. He crashes on Jakku. Yep. He walks into town, meets Rey. Yeah, yeah. Tells Rey of his plight and perhaps maybe what happened to Poe Dameron, then I think BB-8, and this is just putting the pieces together of the thing,

BB-8 is Poe Dameron's droid, not Rey's, because we see BB-8 in Poe Dameron's X-Wing. I was going to say, because they would make sense because they would need like the... They would need a droid. Yeah, but we've seen that in the trailer and in the Hasbro figures and stuff, that it is BB-8 in the back of Poe Dameron's X-Wing. So if...

I don't know, maybe like... I don't know. Maybe like... I don't know how BB-8... I can't work out how BB-8 gets on Jakku if Poe Dameron's captured. Unless there's like a base on Jakku and it's sort of like... Do X-Wing have...

No. Like an autopilot. If something happens, they go to this place. But then that would just be really dumb because the the first order would be like just follow it but then how did how did poe dameron get like how'd they get him out yeah yeah and the x1 keep going i don't think there is any base on of any type i think it's just i think it's the tatooine just the shithole planet that happens to be there. So I think that, yeah, so that's, I'm not sure how BB-8 gets, because we have no idea or I have no idea how Poe Dameron actually gets captured.

I know he gets captured. Um, so whether perhaps Poe Dameron gets gunned down and crash and like he's on Jakku. And they take him. Yeah. You know. And so they're not going to go for the, they're not going to worry about the astromech. Hmm. Um, so yeah. And then, so they meet up Finn and Rey

you know we've seen their conversation in one of the trailers where they introduce each other so they don't know each other

yeah and then they go off on an adventure I don't I have no idea how they then get tied up

with Han Solo yeah I was gonna say like how Han and Leia play into that yeah which is why I reckon that yeah Rey has to be related to the Skywalker clan up with Han Solo. Yeah, I was going to say how did Han and Leia play into that? Which is why I reckon that Rey has to be

related to the Skywalker clan somehow. I don't know how, but that's just what I would be speculating. To all the three characters, who is going to be the one that's related? I think it would be Rey. It kind of has to be Rey in a weird way. But we do know

that the Millennium Falcon's on Jakku or visits Jakku because we've seen that in the, you know, it's one of the most iconic things from all the teasers. So. Could just be happenstance. No. I mean, it'd be disappointing if it was. Like, is that there for the same reason?

Like, are they all, is there something gone? You know, the lightsaber of, you know, which I think is a really cool thing that, you know, ties together the whole saga is that Anakin's lightsaber from the prequels, which was given to Luke Skywalker and was his lightsaber for the first two films. And then he lost on Cloud City when his wrist got chopped off,

ironically by the original owner of the lightsaber. That that lightsaber is then in this film because it ties the three trilogies together, this little item. And so that seems to be... Like if Luke's lightsaber has somehow made its way to Jakun, maybe Han's looking for it. If Luke is on Jakun or something like that and maybe...

No, Luke's definitely not on Jakun. I remember reading somewhere that Luke's not going to have like a huge presence in this film. Yeah, it's pretty well established he won't be in the film. I think he's going to be a lot in the second one. I think he's quite crucial to the second one or something like that. I remember seeing it somewhere.

I kind of think it's like a search for Luke Skywalker. Yeah, I was thinking like if there's a search for something it might be a search for Luke in the first order or a search for him but also... This could be a great chance to bring up the Steel Wars

Have You Seen Him Luke Skywalker t-shirt, you guys. What is this t-shirt? Tell me more of this. Please tell me about this t-shirt. Well, it skywalker t-shirt you guys what is this t-shirt please tell me about this t-shirt well it's a t-shirt that made harrison ford himself chuckle when he saw it really that's awesome it's um it's like a milk carton you know have you seen him thing but if you're if people skateboarded in the in the late 80s i'd know there's an animal chin t-shirt there's like a palparelta t Tony Hawk, guys, is a keyword for you.

Okay. But anyway, that's why we made the t-shirt because it's a whole thing of like the search for Luke Skywalker. But anyway, enough plugs on your podcast. Where can we find this t-shirt? Yeah, how do I get this? Steelwars.com, you guys. Steelwars.com.

Thank you for that. And I must say again, Harrison Ford looked at it and chuckled. So there you go. If you want the t-shirt that Harrison Ford laughed at. I saw him on Ellen recently. He didn't laugh once. Really? Yeah.

Ellen's not wearing the cool t-shirts. Exactly. So yeah, it's definitely like Luke's going to be at the end because I think

it's like a chase and the whole thing with Kylo Ren being a Darth Vader fanboy and trying, scouring like intergalactic hole in at eBay for all these sweet items. Just sniping people at the end.

And the fact that this lightsaber is in play could mean that there's a lot of activity around this planet because they've worked out that's where the lightsaber is. Yeah. There's a lot of downed Imperial craft from the Battle of Jakku, which occurred I think about maybe three months after Endor. It was like a big like victory for the rebellion. It was sort of like I'm pretty sure the law goes that after that battle

was lost, then the remnants of the empire just went, yeah, we're kind of done. Let's. Oh, so it really was like cut off the head. You kill everything. Everything else falls or whatever it is.

Yeah. Well, it just went into chaos. And I think like in that, the, um, aftermath book, it's,

it's about how they're all, the empire is trying to regroup and restructure. Like no one knows who the leader is. And there's a lot of political sort of people trying to work out who's going to side with who. So it's kind of like they've sort of created a void. Yeah. A vacuum, whatever you call it.

Power vacuum. There we go. And so maybe the lightsaber, it's found that it was on one of those, like, Star Destroyers. Do you know what I mean? They got down. Maybe.

It's a theory. I can see that happening. That is a Saunders original coming at you. Whoa. See, I'm thinking, shut up. Very impressive. All right.

That'd be a good scene as well. Like, going inside, like a fucking sandy ass dusty trying to find like a little like working your way through and it's all like rickety yeah i'm jumping ahead but i reckon potentially the search for skywalker luke skywalker could be particularly for kylo ren could be i want to try and because again i i think you know who killed vader or why did he die and that kind of thing that might be lost in translation in terms of the galactic information that's out there so it

could be like well kylo could be like i'm such a vader fanboy i want to know the truth what's not just the truth but i want to try and hunt down the person that killed vader i want to do what vader couldn't i want to kill luke skywalker well that's the other thing you know a line from the teaser. Kylo Ren says to Darth Vader's helmet, I will finish what you started. Yeah, yeah. What does Kylo Ren think that Darth Vader started? Exactly.

That's a good question. Better not be another Death Star. I'll make one that works. It worked. It worked. Because you've got to kind of imagine if... And it'd be awesome if like Sorry, if in the film It's the ultimate like

I will finish what you started And it pans down and he just puts the last Piece in a jigsaw puzzle And it's a Padme's face He just grabs C-3PO and just like tinkers with him a bit Done, fixed The perfect robot. You've got to try and imagine what is out there

for Kylo to just kind of take a hold of. Like finish. Like what is left? And I was like, what is out there that people are saying Vader did? Because if he's... He was like regretting everything by the end of his life. So clearly that didn't get out.

So yeah, what is... What did he start? Because like... Well, maybe after George Lucas' changes to the film, he just needs to finish... Oh! That's how you ruin the end of a film, Darth Vader. Done.

I'm just trying to... What else? Because it's not like... Weirdly, is he secret apprentices? Are they still part of canon or is not anymore? Like the Starkiller No they're done That's a shame

I was just wondering if Kylo knew about those Like the Force Unleashed and all that kind of stuff If he knew about that sort of Side of Darth Vader To be like He had the plan to take over the Emperor's vision of the Empire and, you know, wreck shit up.

If that was what Kylo was thinking, then that kind of makes sense. It's hard to try and figure out what the hell he's talking about, though. To the storyline, I'm not sure how... We know the Millennium Falcon is on Jakku.

It's uncertain who's flying it. Like, is that hands... Like, one would presume from the most, like, tear-jerking three words, like, in cinema... Get me... Like, this is the power of Star Wars and of nostalgia. three words like in cinema get me like this is the power of Star Wars and of nostalgia it's like

it's not even in the film yet and these three words made more people weep than any other three words in you know in the history of film Chewie we're home yeah

it's them back on the Falcon so to me that means they haven't been there of film, Chewie, We're Home. It's them back on the Falcon. So to me that means they haven't been there. They've returned to the Falcon. And he's quite, there is a dual

nostalgia kick where it's like Han Solo's nostalgic for returning to the Falcon and then in the real world we're nostalgic for him to return to the falcon as well so one would say that he's been separated from the falcon so potentially yep does he is that him flying it um i'm just like amazed like because we're about what four days out now when we're recording this we're four days out when this film comes out and we really don't

know much compare that to batman v i'm so amazed how little we know even even age of ultron like when we were back before we saw that we sort of did this idea of like well anything's gonna happen and we kind of had some ideas yeah i know i got yeah batman v superman's like what's gonna happen yeah they're three team up and fight Batman v Superman as people they'll be like I hate you then they'll be like as superheroes

I hate you then they'll like each other Wonder Woman will turn up they'll kill Doomsday the bada bing bada boom Aquaman's there I think for a bit

but yeah it's incredible just how little we know something like this fucking huge it's the best but I believe so I believe

the first you know because Star Wars, if it follows the same template, has always been sort of about three like sort of world chunks. Yep, yep. And so Jakku would be the first chunk. Yeah. I think that the next chunk will be Maz Kanata's planet,

which Maz Kanata is, pardon my pronunciation, but Lapita Nepapongu? I don't know. You guys don't know what I'm talking about? There's two words there that was very confusing. Hot gibberish. Okay. So you don't know.

Okay. So Maz Kanata is the voice in a lot of the teasers. Famously, she says... Is she the little alien? Yeah. She said those eyes. I've seen those eyes before. At the end of one of the teasers, she says,

hope is not lost. It is, you know, that sort of stuff. And she's the little character on the Force Awakens poster. Yeah, cool, cool, cool. There's a little character with goggles. Yeah, I remember that. And, yeah, so she's played by Lupita Nyong'o. Sorry.

But she's a beautiful African-American actress that's in a lot of Disney films, won an Oscar recently. Cool. And she is a thousand year old pirate who now lives in a castle. So that sets you up. That's your Jarvis Palace cantina revisiting. So

what I think is they end up teaming up our two new heroes. Team up with Luke and Chewie in the Falcon. Whether Rey and Finn have the Falcon and then

come across Han and Chewie or whatever but they all end up together we know that they all end up back in the Falcon

we know through the thing that BB-8 Han, Chewie Rey and Finn all end up on the Falcon together. What if in the Battle of Jakku, what if the Millennium Falcon got damaged? What if it crashed on Jakku

and it's been there for seven odd years or something? And that is something that Rey comes... 30. Sorry, 30 years. And that's something that Rey finds and salvages or is slowly building, but I think it'll be a bit more replaced. Or if it just had crashed land and she finally salvages it. I think that's a great theory.

That's not a bad idea. That's a, that's a plumbing. That's our exclusive guys. Or if it's already on the internet, I stole it without knowing. Wedge that in your pipe. So they all team up in the Falcon and I think they're looking for Luke.

And I think Han may say, and again, this could be like, I'm just making, this is- Beaseless speculation. Well, this is total like, I've been shown all these teasers and this is what I'm working out, right? And just like the whole,

well, in this scene they're together and this character's here, right? So I think they go to Maz Kanata's castle, maybe because Han has a previous relationship with her and she might have answers. Yeah. A thousand-year-old pirate. Pirates and smugglers.

Yeah. Yeah, it's good. So that will be the- Party boy shit right there. Apparently he was married. Oh. Oh, yeah. Chewie dies punching a moon.

I just remembered that. I think that happens in the X-Men. Bring it back. Am I right? I don't know if he punches a moon. I think the moon's coming down and he fights it. That's fucking amazing. And he gets squished.

I don't know if that's it. I always imagine squished like a bug. It's just like zoomed out moon on top of Chewie. I just know that from the, like the Marvel comics, Han's married and I just stopped reading. Yeah. Do you know what happened?

Do you know about that? Yeah. It's a fake marriage. I don't know. They're not really married. I'm wondering if they're going to maybe like link that to, to this character as well, but no.

All right. If they linked that, if that was like people were saying like sometimes Star Wars fans want things to be too linked from all this stuff. And I think a good rule of thumb is that you'll never see story points upgraded. Like, I just don't think you'd see that this marriage thing is then going to be upgraded to movie level. Okay. Like, I think, and I honestly do think it should be post. Like, the comics should, like, comics and books and stuff

should react to the movies. Yeah. The movies are the catalyst. Because it's just not worth it. No. Like, the majority of people that are the catalyst. Because it's just not worth it. No. The majority of people that are going to see a Star Wars movie probably aren't going to, they're going to be like,

they're not going to get the good out of seeing that oh, this is somebody from the comics. And I'm pro like, there's a character in a comic and then he's in the background of a scene. Or hell, even if you find a character in the comic or an expanded universe novel and you're like, this is a good character, let's

reintroduce them. Not as a cameo, just like, no, we're using the base of this character. That's fine. So I think they get, they team up and they have to go to Maz Kanata's castle for knowledge. For help.

She's a thousand years old, she'll know. Yeah. Then you get your new cantina scene. Now it's been, it's kind of widely known now, it's been in the press, that the music for Maz Kanata's Castle is the one bit of music that was not done by John Williams. Okay. But it was done by someone who I've forgotten For some reason my head went

please say Black Eyed Peas, why would I want that? Yes! But it was I can't remember what but I know J.J. Abrams and his son went to a performance in New York of a musical or something that this person had scored.

And I'm going to give you all the facts without any actual details. They saw them after the show. The guy went to JJ, hey, if you need help doing a new cantina scene, get at me. I'll do it. And then John Williams said, I don't want to tackle that. Or I think he'd already said that. And JJ was like, well, this is what he said in the press anyway.

He was like, did that guy know or is he just throwing bones? Yeah, yeah. And so he got him to do it and apparently it's amazing. Awesome. And again, I can't say who he is or what he does, but he did an appearance on Kimmel or Fallon that JJ Abrams said was the greatest television he'd seen in the past 10 years. So I've got no idea what he does, but apparently he's good at it.

It's amazing whatever it is. He will blow you out of the water whatever the what he does, but apparently he's good at it. It's amazing, whatever it is. He will blow you out of the water, whatever the fuck he does. And you have to respect, you know, you respect a good pedophile over a bad pedophile. Yeah. Maybe.

Sure. Alright, let's go with that. Alright, so they go to this 1,000-year-old pirate for information about maybe where Luke is. Yep. And then they're like, oh, here's blah, blah, blah, or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Maybe give them like three different locations or some shit. Like there's rumors over here, rumors over there.

Because that's a nice little easy way to kind of either separate the heroes or at least send them on varying way to kind of either separate the heroes or at least send them on varying places to sort of have like here's some rumors here and here and here and you've got to kind of choose which ones you follow up interesting what i think happens and i'm judging this by what happens in the trailers is that the first Order finds out that they're there and attacks them. And because you see something in rubble, which I presume is her castle, which is a real bummer.

If you had a castle for a thousand years. Yeah, that's rough. It goes. Oh, the memories attached to that castle. If these walls could talk. If you get rescue renovation on the phone. Exactly. I've got this castle and it's quite a mess.

It's basically just rubble. What can you do? And yeah, so I think that, so the first order come and then I think that is when the X-wings are going along the water. Then that's the resistance like coming to save the day.

When you've got the scene in the trailer where, and a lot of this stuff I'm just sort of, no, no, but I'm actually like now I'm just like, I'm putting it together in my head. I'm really in the matrix now, guys. This is what I was built to do. And when the X-wings are coming along the water, and then when you see the scene with Finn and Chewie and Han

and they've all got their hands on their heads, sort of like the Battle of Endor when they're all captured and then the Ewoks come and save them, I reckon what they're looking at in the foreground is all the X-Wings coming to save the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I've got no idea what happens. We know there's a battle around Starkiller Base.

We know we see Starkiller Base test its weapon on something. Oh, cool. It's that snow planet that is like, I don't know. I reckon that might be Endor. Because I reckon there might be like the nuclear fallout of the Death Star blowing up above it, killing off Endor. I like that theory. That's cool.

Well, I had a theory upon the first trailer. You know when Kylo Ren's walking through the forest and it's snowing and he opens up his lightsaber. And this year and a half has been so fun. And in a week's time and especially in a year's time, we're going to be so used to all this stuff. It's going to be so good. There's a YouTube clip of my react.

We sort of podcasted while we watched it yeah nice and then someone synced it up for us and and my yeah so it's an audio sort of audio commentary over the thing and my reaction like to see this new like jedi or sith like Jedi or Sith, absolutely no knowledge what it was, stalk through this forest, pull out a lightsaber. Oh my God. They're force. They're a force user.

Lightsaber opens up. It's red. Oh my God. It's a Sith. And then those two other, the little exhaust ports open up. Like, I just hope people like cherish how fun that was like to see that for the

first time and go oh my god what is that and then it's like you've got a minute and then you've got like three months to go yeah yeah yeah like i almost wish though they didn't do it on the trailer like same with the double-ended lightsaber with uh in the van and menace like they they blew that on the trailer and i just think seeing that moment in the cinema with no knowledge of that happening i think that would have been just fucking amazing that that said made a fucking sweet trailer but it's very hard yeah like like that like from a merchandising point of view like you then couldn't have Kylo Ren with an ignited lightsaber. And you couldn't sell lightsabers. You couldn't have a figure with a lightsaber.

And then you couldn't have any merchandise with a lightsaber. And lightsabers, that's cash money, bro. Exactly, man. That's your bread and butter right there. You work out on a t-shirt and cha-ching. Bam. Got a new t-shirt here guys That gets Mickey a fair bit of cheese

Exactly Yeah you're right Like you would think about all the stuff That would have to halt in production Yeah no fair It's a fair actual point But they also That would be amazing

I agree But you also They have to They still have to get people to go to the film Do you know what I mean? Yeah yeah And that's also then But you also, like, they have to, they still have to get people to go to the film. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And that's also then,

you think of all the scenes in the trailers that have Kylo Ren with his lightsaber on. That's like, and if he doesn't have a lightsaber, it's like, oh, he's like an emperor. Yeah, like, what's this guy doing walking through a forest? Yeah, yeah. Who gives a shit? Like, who cares? But that is a lot of scenes without,

and also I think that that lightsaber, it just, it churned the fans, like it just created such excitement. It was a talking point, you know. I agree. And it was also like, when you just think of like all this like just for instance all the sketches and jokes like on on like late night shows about the lightsaber and

all that sort of stuff so it's it you know it is a great talking point but um yeah i have no i can't i can't work out in my head what that for like so i had a theory sorry that was what we're talking about god we're good at going off candidates right champs that he was walking the forest was the fallout the nuclear fallout endor because there's this theory that has been around since the dawn of the internet this guy wrote a big essay about how the Ewoks had this sad nuclear winter after this giant thing, you know, like it all rained down on them. They would. Like how could they avoid that?

They wouldn't. They've got trash technology. But, yeah, my theory was that he was looking, like he was walking through the forest trying to find Vader's funeral pyre to get the helmet. And that was him getting the helmet. But I can't work out without reading a site that could possibly tell me is how he,

like what's he doing on that? Is that forest Starkiller base? Like is that the same? Same area. The same planet? And how does he come into contact with Rey and Finn?

Which you know he does. I can't work out how that happens in the storyline. I'm thinking it might be if we go with the theory that yes it is Endor went through some tough times and he's trying to find the pyre because as's you know as you see him walking down then you see him fighting finn that was in the second trailer i think where it's sort of that extended scene

where it's like okay yeah he's got his lightsaber out because he's finn's there so if they know that kylo ren is hunting relics of vader and maybe luke maybe this is after they get luke on the side or they find luke and then luke gun is like well you know we we actually burnt a cremated yeah yeah yeah my dad's body i actually think there's no way luke's involved by that like at that point i don't think luke's involved i reckon they might be like even even even han then could just like leak that information out into the ether to be like yeah that's where they cremated Vader and that is what maybe

maybe trying to set a trap for Kylo and then Kylo's like I need that mask and then all his generals are like dude it's a fucking trap and he's like I don't give a shit I need that mask and that kind of makes that

idea that this this guy is really obsessed with vader and like he doesn't give a shit where he's going into like he's getting that goddamn mask trap or no trap and that might be where we see that scene if that is in fact endor and then that might be why you know um ray and finna there and that could give reasons why Han is there as well because he's giving information of kind of what happened with Vader and stuff. Yeah, I'm not sure. Like we've seen Han on a snow planet,

which I find like I can't place. Yeah, I can't work out what's going on. The fact that the Starkill base is also a snow... Is it the same planet? It would be odd to have two... As much as it wouldn't, it'd be reasonable in reality. It'd be weird in the film to have two snow planets that were just sort of unrelated to one another.

Yeah, yeah. It'd just be confusing. So I feel like they've got to be, surely. So maybe do they try to infiltrate go on a mission into star killer base they're trying to be the finale potentially of the the first uh you know the um i've also got a question about the base itself. Is that big laser that's on the... Well, first of all, is it a moon made into a weapon

or is it a weapon made into a moon? I hope it's a moon made into a weapon. Same now. That's a lot cooler than a weapon made into a moon. Yeah, yeah. You are a bit more of a James Bond villain type guy. The moon's up there already. Somebody fucking used it.

Goddamn rockets. Chuck a laser on that, you can hit anywhere on the planet. That's the beauty of a moon. That is true. It goes everywhere. The other thing, though, if it is a planet made into a weapon, can it travel? Yeah, that's another thing.

Like if they kind of retrofit with like rocket boosters. You could. It'd be disastrous for the planet, but you could. I was about to say, there's a reason we don't do that for our moon,

but there are lots of reasons we don't do that for our moon. I hope the Trade Federation don't find out about this one. I know. The tariffs are going to be huge. I'll set some like blockade in three-dimensional space gang. What's the GST on a moon?

High. Whatever it is, nobody can pay it. Imagine a moon at border security and it pulls out its passport and it's just a picture of a moon. And the moon was like It was cloudy that day Come on It's clearly me I reckon it's probably going to be

I do like the idea of it being Either a small planet or a moon That's been retrofitted to be a weapon Like it's rad If it is I don't know, it's one of those things where it's like Oh that's fucking hot That it's a moon made into a know, like it's one of those things where it's like, oh, that's fucking hot. Yeah.

That it's a moon made into a planet. But then it's just like, how did you do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that rad or just dumb? Is it just stupid? Is it so stupid that I'm just thinking it's cool? Yeah. The more I think about it, and as I said, I don't know,

it's sort of like, it's funny just talking about this sort of get your churning. But there is that scene in maybe the second teaser where Gwendolyn Christie's Captain Phasma is walking. And on one side, she's like in a hallway. And one side of the hallway, you can see death star-esque paneling right the greats with the light and on the other side it's a rock face oh yeah so it could be on that like outside of the yeah so that would like sort of mean you know that's something that's natural that's been like like weaponized or militaryized. I'm going to say even though I posed the question,

I'm now going to answer the question and say Starkiller Base is a moon that they've revamped into a sweet sweet laser cannon. Because then how good, you know, like that's no moon, that's a space station. It'd be like, that's no moon.

We know it's a moon. It's kind of both. It's a r station, it'd be like, that's no moon. It is. We know it's a moon. And it's a space station. It's kind of both. Yeah. It's a rambly sentence of like just, that's no moon, that's a space, no,

I think it's a moon. I actually think looking at it now, it might be both. With lines like that. I don't know, we'll see when we get there. With lines like that

and that beard, are you the son of George Lucas? I should have been right there. Oh my God. Are you the one non George Lucas? I should have been written that. Oh, my God. Are you the one non-adopted son? Just the line, I don't know.

We'll know when we get there. It's just fucking spot on. Everybody hop in. And just to clarify for all the super Lucas nerds out there, I joked that he was the one non-adopted son, but I do know he's got he has recently

had another so I don't want to get any letters because I don't check my mail because there's a guy that comes past in the land speeder

and keeps knocking the letter boxes yes full circle well here's a question what rather than what do we

like what do we think is going to happen because it's like it's so bizarre that I actually genuinely have no fucking clue, and I love that. What don't you want to see? That's a good question. I'm not sure I can tell you what I want to see. What don't I want to see at the end?

If something happens, just like, for example, like the Phantom Menace, like, oh my god. What is going to make you groan if it actually happens? Well, if Finn ends up being Lando Calrissian's son, that would be pretty embarrassing for everyone. That's so far out of the realm of possibility. You would hope so. Like, they've had...

And just in like real world, like they've had such like a push for a diverse cast and to make him like... It would be such a step back. Yeah, it's brutal. And as I say, like people, they jump to that conclusion And it's that, like, it's non-malicious racism Yeah Like it does

The Asians are good at math kind of racism Yeah Yeah, I'm not even sure if it's that That's almost more malicious than It just is like No, it just says there's so few of you Like we allow so few of you in this movie. That has to be the reason.

All right. That would make me groan. I think if they killed off Kylo Ren, I would be like, oh, not again. Yeah, that would be annoying. Same with Gwendolyn Christie's character. I think if they kill off some of the... If they're very quick to kill off... What's the policy on this podcast?

Are released facts? Oh, go nuts. We didn't give a shit. Kathleen Kennedy said that Phasma is going to be in more films. Oh, good. That's good to hear. That's good to hear. Because, yeah, I would be disappointed if they sort of start...

Like, I got burnt with Darth Maul because, like, going in... Again, Phantom Menace, I bought i bought like the book of phantom menace and i made made sure i chose the cover of darth maul and i fucking love darth maul going in and he was just like oh okay good it was great well there's a um of the many fan re-edits a very interesting one is where they made all three prequels into one film and And the opening scene is the end, the lightsaber battle with the Phantom Menace. Darth getting stabbed. Yeah, so you don't know Qui-Gon.

And the beauty of Star Wars is that you're jumping in and you've got to catch up. And people don't sort of explain stuff to you. And so that was really cool that like we're starting the saga with this battle and a great Jedi dies and we don't. Yeah, that's actually a nice way of starting the prequels. And I think that's like with this sort of movie to like have things where it alludes to like,

oh, then I can make that up. Do you know what I mean? Like when I was little, like the Clone Wars. Yeah. Like there was no, there was a Clone Wars, the Anakin and Obi-Wan, like what did that mean? Same with like Boba Fett, like he's introduced in the Christmas movie

and it's just sort of not really much is mentioned there, but it's like a Wookiee belt kind of thing. And everyone's like, who's this sort of um not really much is mentioned there but it's like like a wookiee belt kind of thing and it's like who's this cool character it's like don't you know instant like you know use um the incinerator grenades or whatever it was and it's like this guy's cool yeah it's the one there you go it's like he's clearly this cool character we don't know much about him oh that's awesome and then he dies like a dickhead on tatooine but we still don't know much about his history and it's, he was still once this really cool bounty hunter. And then we're like, no, no, no, no. Let's answer all these dumb questions.

He has the stupidest fucking jet pack. Just goes up. There's no control there. That's why he dies. He's just like, ah, crap. Well, you know who Boba Fett is of the Star Wars universe. He's got like all these amazing devices that, you know, all these like, just all this great

technology on his suit, but he can't use them properly. He is the Star Wars Galaxy's Inspector Gadget. Yeah, that's really true. He really is. Go-go gadget. Jetpack. Jesus. He just needed a penny. Yeah, he did.

A dog that didn't talk but had the intelligence of a mare. I can speak. Wait, could he speak? No, that was Jar Jar Binks' line. Oh, good. Yes. He did not have the intelligence. You were the only person that heard that and went, ah, good.

So I think I'd be very disappointed if they killed off, if they were very quick to kill off the villains. Okay. One thing we haven't, we're only talking about what we've seen. That's true. We're not talking about what we've heard. And that is Snoke.

Yeah, I know. What's going on? Play andy circus i i've read and i'm i'm really like i'm pumping out like i put out two podcasts today and i'll probably put out two tomorrow um but i'm trying to like, you know, you got, you pull out and you've got to, you know, do all your tweets and stuff, but I'm trying not to read stuff,

but I've, and I also don't know what I like. If I read a tweet, I don't know if it's true, but I think there's been a leak of what he looks like, which I'm, yeah, I'm really scared.

Like that for the last few days days we're so close to see what because i saw something today it was like first nine minutes of star wars leaked i'm like no no no no no no no not gonna just keep scrolling keep scrolling oh that would be the resist temptation i'm gonna say that's the nine minutes i saw then potentially i think someone must have filmed it yeah because i i'd assume they didn't just do that screening in... Probably more, yeah. I was going to say, but they promised Harrison Ford. Yeah. Because they did...

Harrison Ford's going to come to their house now. They all went out in teams, so they all went around the world to do their separate... Which is interesting about the star power of Harrison Ford, because the one in Seoul had, it was Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Adam Driver and JJ Abrams.

So that was like one event. And we were just like Harrison Ford. Yeah, exactly. One man, but one powerful man. But man, what an amount of press it got. It was insane. So we haven't seen Snoke, Andy Serkis. And again, I just like, it's so great.

A major character played by quite a famous actor. Yeah. And I have no idea. I don't even know what size he is. There's a lot of like talk about. What if he's giant? What if he's tiny? What if he's either or?

What if he's like a salacious crumb motherfucker? God, you guys are just like. How good would it be it be a giant? What about tiny? What if he was deaf? What if he was blind? All good questions. And blind and tiny.

And they're like, how are you a villain? And he falls over. Where am I? What if he was made of fire? What about water? Help. And consisted of a diet of nothing but pancakes. Frequenting fucking Dexter Jets' fucking diner.

Oh, God. The perfect villain. Big shout out for Michael Williams, Dexter Jets' fan. Champion. Yeah, so we just don't know anything about this guy because I would assume that he's probably either, if not Kylo Ren's superior, at least running the First Order or something like that.

He's superior. There's been an awakening, have you felt it? That's him. And there's another TV spot where he says to Kylo Ren, maybe there's a big awakening. And he goes, this is the biggest test even for you or something. It's like he's schooling Kylo Ren on what's about to happen. And he said,

I don't know, because with my TV spot viewing, they've had all those little clips with new scenes. My whole thing was watch it once and never again yeah fair enough mainly because people would post up so many frame grabs of it so it's like and which is fine like do you know what i mean it's publicly it's been officially released but you still don't want to you know but so it's sort of just like well i'm gonna see all these scenes anyway so i may as well just enjoy them in the like in the best format I can.

Do you know what I mean? Rather than to see a frame grab and then go, all right, I'll watch it. Like it's like that. I've sort of like had a really like fun year and a half of just like cherishing things. I've just like going, like when people, like when the first teaser was released at Celebration,

I couldn't believe the people that just watched it on their phone. Like I was just like, what? You watched it in your phone? I think I did. Yeah. Look, Steel's giving me. Yeah, I was on my beanbag. I don't want to move.

I'm a lazy man. Because I wanted to podcast me watching it. And so it came out. Because, you know, they sort of was, I had to do something that day. I can't remember what it was. It was something that, because I think it was coming out in the middle, like four in the morning, like our time. So I had to wait for someone to come around to record the podcast with me.

And then I didn't want to see any images from it so I just looked on a Pirate Bay to find someone that had uploaded it and then put it on because when you went to the iTunes page like I was so like happy with myself like you know when you're like I did the right thing

like when you open it it had the Falcon picture as you know and that's the banger that did the right thing. Like when you open it, it had the Falcon picture as the, you know, and that's the banger. That was your banger at the end of that teaser. That's your money shot right there. And yeah, so I've been really savoring it. So when people went, oh yeah, I was watching it on my phone,

I was like. I did watch it many other times on other bigger screens. First time's the time. First time's the time, buddy. Another bigger screen. First time's the time. First time's the time, buddy. So, yeah, he's... I would say he's Kylo Ren's mentor.

Like whether or not Kylo Ren is happy with that or not. I don't know. I reckon probably not. It might be... It's just another Emperor Vader kind of thing where it's... Yes, he's the apprentice or at least he's the mentor and it's kind of like i kind of want to kill you when i'm done with getting whatever i get from i'm not sure and nice to see emperor snoke sounds cool it does but it'd be nice to see the the

villains work together that would be good because you always get like a weird vibe from the Improvator. It's like a weird way like, I feel like you fight in the downtime. Well, there's the different variables with the evil guys is you've got the Knights of Ren. Then you've got the First Order, which is sort of like the Empire. That's where your stormtroopers are at. And then you've got, and so the First Order, that's your Captain Phasma and your General Hux. Who's this General Hux? General Hux is Donald Gleeson.

So he's like the real imperial looking guy. He's like Scottish guy, Donald Gleeson. So he's definitely First Order. And so it's interesting to know what the relationship between you know kylo ren is um affiliated with the knights of ren the first order and also snoke and so one would assume snoke is leading the first order maybe from afar like maybe he's um you know like i think when they showed that big army thing it looks like it's hux that's sort of maybe rallying the troops and kylo ren not snoke um and then but then the knights of ren is that is that like is that a bit of you know action on the side for kylo ren is that his booty call?

Potentially. Yeah, I was thinking it would be the Knights of Ren, potentially a faction of the First Order that are maybe a bit more Force-sensitive. Kind of like your battle priests. Yeah, sort of. You get like the First Order. What's a battle priest? It's like a thing, I think, from like medieval times where you would have priests.

Was it like a paladin? Yeah, like a legitimate paladin. Do you know what it sounds like? Yeah. It sounds like they tried to like get kids back into the Catholic church in like the late 80s. And it's like Film Nation presents Battle Priests. You have a handful of Battle Priests. Throw your Battle Priests

at your friends' Battle Priests. See them fight. Get on your knees and face the power. Battle Priests. They're coming. On you. For you. For you.

Like a G.I. Joe Battle Priest. But he's got... You know the priest's got that little white collar thing, but it's like an American flag in there. How good? Not in the slightest. Dude, that sounds like it's going to play well in middle America. But no, so potentially the knights of Rhineland...

Yeah, like a battle priest. They were just... Basically they were like religious people. You cannot say the word battle priest enough Battle priest How about just crusaders, eh? Yeah, that's basically what I'm getting at I just mean like religious

Holy warriors Like a paladin or a crusader But battle priest, was this something you could do? You call them battle I don't know what you do Battle mages Look it up No

Yeah well Fuck you Well that'd be rad If Battle Priest were a toy And it became super popular And much like when The Transformers came out There was

You know like the GoBots The off brand And then so they came out With like We're the Marauder Monks War Vickers And it's like Your mum gives it to you and it's just like they got it from Demi

something. Oh, here it's a Marauder Monk. Fuck. I was trying to convince your friends. You're like, no, it's just one from the UK. You don't know it. You haven't seen it yet. It's still cool. It's not a legit Battle Priest. Fuck off. I met

a comedian friend of mine actually reckons GoBots is better than Transformers. I've heard that. I've heard that. I couldn't carry the weight, but I've heard that. It's robots fighting, guys. I love the 86 movie and that's about all. Who gives a shit?

Why are you on this podcast? What do you care about? I want to say Sasquatches. Home Alone 1 and 2. And 5. And 5. And the works of Tim Allen. These are the things I love.

Wild Hogs. What a film. But Santa Claus 1 and 2. Good. My guess that you're an absolute fuckwit. Spot on. Yep, correct. Correct.

But they could potentially be. Knights of Ren could be paladins or battle priests. So, yeah, I reckon they could be a faction of the First Order. It's a chance. The worst part is that they were actually called battle priests. Oh, God. But you're mocking me like i made it up anyway yes carry on so we've got the uh paladins i'm gonna call them that because that's a much better better word um so like the more the mystical religious uh knights crusaders, and then sort of being, yeah, that kind of crazy zealot fighting for the emperor.

And if the laws, in quotation mark, of the force is a bit more lax, so it's like, all right, you can use some force. Why not? You can use your force. We don't care. Like if they got rid of that rule of two, which I'm hoping they've gotten rid of.

No, but that's not a rule of the force. That's a rule of the Sith. Yeah. So hopefully they've gotten... No no but like we're not like i think the knights of ren they're like this they're like you know the force is dope yeah but like these the jedi and the sith nah they had it wrong yeah so like a third faction yeah Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Grey Jedis? My favorite. My favorite.

Damn, Samet and his grey Jedis. If we call them, they just got away with... I mean, people would fucking scream, but like, fuck Jedi and stuff. Don't even worry about it. Let's explore new avenues of the force. I'd be interested in that. That's what maybe potentially the Knights of Renan. That'd be super cool. Yeah, I think that's what they are and that is awesome if they i mean like overall if they're like look that was a thing of the past jedi sith it happened there are still some people who hold

to that way of thinking about the force but like like aren't there like within the expanded universe thousands of different ways of like people using the force and experiencing the force and like the way they kind of like treated in their society like yeah jettison sith is just one yeah yeah yeah there's like witches and all that sort of stuff and and night sisters very cool if it was like yeah like the the the knights of ren they're just being like yeah we use the force and we worship vader and that kind of stuff but like like the whole Sith rule too, that was like just because someone went... Darth Bane. Yeah, we're just doing that from now on.

Yeah. He just laid down the law. This is the case. So I think that would be very cool if they were just, no, we could use a little bit of force. Maybe they're not like amazing. Maybe none of them are using force lightning or that kind of shit, or maybe a few of them have varying degrees of their abilities the force and that

would be very cool if we have at least a decent supporting cast of villains that aren't just stormtroopers but are still somewhat cannon fodder yeah that'd be sick and then you could kind of see like uh ray and finn and all them like the the the what are they called now they're not the rebel alliance the resistance the resistance like going up against what is in a sense a bunch of you know level one jedis or level one sith users that would be cool who are just like they've got lightsabers and maybe a little bit of force but they can still get their ass handed to them by these guys. The interesting thing about how the rebellion's called the resistance now, so you would assume, especially after the Battle of Jakku,

that the rebellion was doing pretty good. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And the New Republic, whatever they were going to call it. But what are they resisting? So is the resistance resistance have they been fighting the first order for a while yeah that's a good question like yeah because you would assume that the empire was done like what what do you because the empire is resisting the battle

has been like yeah emperor being the empire being like whoop we're off and that just being done away with in the first or like you think it's the new off. And that just being done away with in the first order. You think it's the new republic going to take over, but then it's like the first order. We've got more manpower. Our politicians are better, blah, blah, blah, blah. They come in and then they just take over like a small faction of what the empire was

and now it's the first order. Because I would like, if it wasn't called the resistance, judging by the previews, I would say that this force of the First Order was in secret and was about to sort of reveal themselves. But the fact that it's called The Resistance means that they've been resisting against something for quite some time and the fact that they're at that you know resistance base yeah which um i actually visited this year oh cool that's awesome in um greenham common in in uh the uk it was quite exciting and weird to go something like it's like i haven't seen this in film yet but i'm here but i've seen the teaser and it's there it was very exciting like it was it was especially when you're at absolute dribbling

Star Wars loving fool. And you're just like these people just like it's their jogging track and I'm there taking 800 photos and podcasting at the same time like going, so what we're seeing now. And the guy that took me there, this is a rad story and this is the proper way. I was so proud of him he heard you know it got broken that um they were filming star wars there because of like the drone no not the drone the um a guy was just taking aerial photography like he was he he was an aerial photographer

and he got a new camera so he just went up to test it out because he had this big shoot like a couple days later yeah and so um so he landed and then two i think it was a day or two later he started looking through the photos and just went called out to his son and goes come in here like what such a fucking cool like a movie moment just like and goes, come in here. Like what? Such a fucking cool, like a movie moment. Just like, son, you better come in here. It's the Millennium Falcon. Like, and that's how the news broke. But so that, you know, obviously it's on the radio and stuff.

And this guy is like at work. He lives near there and hears it on the radio and I said, oh, what did you do? And I was sort of like, sometimes I like, like, I don't know,

it's just like for me, that'd be like, oh my God. Yeah. And I sort of thought he'd be like, yeah, I thought I'd go there, check it out in the weekend. Him and his friend left work without telling anyone.

They just ran to their cars and drove there. And I was just like, I'm so proud of you. That was the right thing to do. And I said, did you get in trouble? And I said, when I explained what happened, they understood. I'm a very big Star Wars fan. And yeah, so it was, yeah, thrilling. But it is like, it's just like a running, like a-

That's so crazy. Yeah, it's just a running track. But yeah, so obviously there's a war going on. So I was wondering if the whole galaxy is in almost disrepair, like in a state of just no one knows what's going on. It's kind of like the whole galaxy is basically a chicken running around with its head cut off because there's no one in power.

And because you think about, all right, so the empire ruled with an iron fist for how long like 30 20 odd years and so you get rid of the emperor there is the battle of uh yeah everyone being like the whole empire being like ah fuck it gives a shit anymore so clearly there must be some sort of level of disarray and wondering if it is even got any order or if it's because it's so unorganized and everyone's doing their own thing that's when the first order coming back and being like no we are starting order again this is you know what we're doing is what we're about where this is just chaos we're trying to recreate a more unified army or unified galaxy. The other thing is that I think all the planets that we're visiting

seem like they're outer rim planets. Do you know what I mean? They're not like bustling civilizations. Yeah, that's true. So what's happening in the middle? Yeah, what's happening? Coruscant. What's going on there?

Yeah. I've got bloody questions. I've got questions about the episode. I know. I've got questions about this goddamn bloody movie. It's not what's going to happen, Jack. It's not what's going to happen. It's exciting.

It really is. But what do you want to happen at the end? What do you think would be like what's going to make us come out of the cinema fulfilled? Mm-hmm. And if we do come out of the cinema fulfilled, and if we do come out of the cinema fulfilled, JJ Abrams, I owe you whatever you want from me. However you want to use my body, it's fine. What if I suck your dick?

Go nuts, JJ. Go nuts. Jabrams. Yeah, yeah. What would fulfill me? Yeah, go my nuts. It's fine. I reckon if they kill off Han.

Oh, that'd do me good. That'd do me good. Like, if they kill off Han or Chewie. How do you mean it would do you good? Like, I would love that. I just think it'd be great. I think that'd be a great. I just think it's, there's this, I love the idea in a film of like killing that sacred cow.

All right. You know what I mean? So, just say they killed Han. Yeah. And I'm not sure how I'd deal with that. Especially after this week. Like I'm not sure. I interviewed Han Solo this week.

Harrison Ford. And I like, so it was a really weird thing because it was on a red carpet thing and it was under a lot of, like, you know, for national TV. And it's like just that it's, you know, you're here to do something for national television. That's a pressure cooker with all these different variables. And then it's like, and you're about to ask some questions of a dude who's a notorious bad interview. Seems like he's in a good mood lately, but he's just at the end of two days of being asked, what was it like to be Han Solo again?

Great, mate. Fucking great. And he came up and laughed at my t-shirt. Again, steelwars.com. And I asked him the first question and I just looked at him and it was such a like, I was under a lot of thing because also, do you know what I mean? It's like, you know, someone's, you know,

whenever I do stuff for this Studio 10 show, it's like, thank you so much for having faith in me that I should be in show business. Thank you very much. I will do my best. I love the television. It's a pleasure to be inside it. But also, it's quite hard to think of someone

more intimidating for me to talk to. Oh, man. Yeah like carrie fish is just hilarious um i i i'd say and and mark hamill is just a sweetheart no no he is he's so i can imagine that makes a lot of sense and he he just sounds like such a sweetheart. Such a lovely man. And maybe George Lucas. I'd say Harrison Ford and Jerry Seinfeld would be the two most people I'd be like intimidated by. Basically, they've given me so much, but also seem like aloof to the whole thing.

Yeah. But yeah, so I'm talking to him and this camera's around, like aloof to the whole thing. Yeah. But yeah, so like I'm talking to him and, you know, there's cameras around and stuff. And I looked into his dreamy blue eyes as he was talking to me. And I was just like, oh, my God. Harrison Ford is just savor this. Look at his face and remember his face, how beautiful his face is and how crystal blue his eyes are. And it was funny because it was on a big screen for the event.

Yeah. So the screen, so the camera was just on him for like, because they had the screen, like the big projection, like Titan Tron, whatever. I love your cat. It's just like like he's in your suitcase coughing up a hairpaw no don't do it in the suitcase it just looks like it's sneezing no it's just having a sneeze have a little sneeze what is going on cat but chill out to think that

that man yeah like his character of Han Solo is going to die. Like I think, like I've thought about it and because, you know, we're doing the podcast straight, we're doing like the big live podcast straight after. And I was just like, how would Han's death, like it's going to be such, like I know the vibe before the screening is going to be so, like unlike anything. And I've told people that aren't even that into Star Wars.

They're just casual fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like you have to get tickets to this thing because this is a lunar eclipse of like pop culture events. It will never bubble over, you know, we've got so many more Star Wars films. Yeah. But this is the first one of the next generation. It'll never be like this.

This is it. Like this is like, you know, much like fans from 77 say, oh, back then with the lines and stuff. Like this is this generation's time to tell people when, you know, Star Wars 27's out, just like, oh, seven, that was the one, man.

You had to be there for seven, you know. Yeah, yeah. That was the one. But I wonder how that if he did die, how that would affect the tone of the podcast afterwards. Yeah. Because these are people that have had a deep investment. People flying around from all around Australia to go to this thing

and how that would – and here's the thing. You guys are pro-death. So I've – I test it as end my basic life. Okay. I feel like to make these guys happy, I should die at the end of this podcast. Oh, imagine like, oh, goddamn.

Imagine getting hit by a truck tomorrow and just missing Star Wars 7. Fuck, I'd be so mad. That'd be so funny. Matt and myself and the truck driver. This is the question. Would his death be a in Millennium Falcon explosion or he just got shot and we see his final breaths?

Is it an explosion and we know he's inside no no no i want i almost want like it almost to be unceremonious i don't know this this won't ever happen because of course it won't but i would love it to just be him even mid-sentence and he just gets sniped by um gwendoline christie's character like that. Just to be almost like, it comes almost at like a false victory. Like that's, what's it called? The Psyric Victory or whatever it's called. Like P-S-H. Oh, no, yeah.

I don't know the one you mean. That word. Just for everyone listening, the thought of that happening. That would be so amazing. Nah, I honestly don't think the audience can handle it. I don't think so either, but I would like, I personally, probably in the moment, I would just be beside myself.

But thinking of it in terms of what it would do for the franchise and what it would do for sort of storytelling, I always think in film and cinema, death can be... A lot of death in cinema I don't think is handled very well and i always hate the one where it's like someone gets stabbed it's their mortal wound and they're like oh by the way i need to or even like oh sick i've been stabbed that means i got some time to yeah and they kind of have a heartfelt goodbye with everyone sweet the tenant doctor who you know he he he's dying, so he says his last goodbye to everyone. Like that. I mean, it was lovely to see, but at the same time, kind of wanky.

But, however, a final breath telling the now exposed Jedi, you know, force powerful Rey, may the force be with you. Fuck. Come on. I love that. I hate it. I hate it so much exactly i would be like what are you doing like i would love to be like or even just be oh he's just like he's about to say something better get back on the ship whatever they've won the victory of like the battle

whatever he turns to ray and he's just like may the force spang dead But you have to old age. It's just like they get back in the ship. They're like, where's Ham? They're like, I passed. Oh, you're like,

he was old. I feel like you guys are mocking my life. I would just be the most like, everyone would be so unhappy. Oh, well. He was old. There was our funerals in a week i would just love if it was just like if he if he got shot on the like made the force be with you and he just didn't finish it like made the foot bang like just dug on and like chewy's there gets like blood on his fur everyone's freaking out and then Luke comes out of retirement

that's what I would love the end to be I would love if they didn't find Luke or if they did find Luke, it's in the third act I would like if they found out where Luke was but not Luke himself they're like, oh Luke's in this system Luke's not doing much and the final frame is Luke just igniting his lightsaber

being like, motherfucker it's on here's another thing which, I think it's kind of, and I'm not sure how the story could serve it, but it would be a shame not to have the three of them reunited again. You're right, it would be. But then you want to save that because otherwise what would you know

but you're killing him. I know. Well they're all going to like it's going to be an open casket. It's going to be like solely the only time that the three original

cast members were together was in Han's funeral in episode 8. But say he survived because I think realistically he will. I don't think anybody's going to die

because you wouldn't in the trailer have them be like Chewie we're home and then just be like and also not for very long because he dies so they'll all get together but i think you would want to save that like because you've already got all like the the excitement of the first one coming out imagine someone telling luke han is dead oh and just the devastation that Luke will have to go through don't get me wrong Sam that would tickle my dickhole

because like Luke would be like I never I had all these things I wanted to say to him but I was like this self imposed exile and I didn't and now he's gone

oh fuck I would eat that up see that's a good catalyst that's a good catalyst for Luke to do business but it's not gonna happen or if Leia got shot yeah no because you gotta give Leia a chance to do something because but it's not going to happen. Or if Leia got shot. Yeah, no,

because you got to give Leia a chance to do something because Leia now kind of has a chance to do something. You know what I mean? Yeah. Plus her like new outfit is super like...

That's true. She looks like she's ready for acrobatics. Yeah, kill Chewie. What if we kill Chewie? Okay, I... The thing against Killing Han is like when you talk about

the real world, you know, Disney investment in the film to like, you know, like that is a big risk. Oh, for sure. Like, you know, financially. I think Chewie's pretty safe for this reason is that he can live forever in the films. Yeah. So do you know what I mean?

Like he's the one non-robotic character that you can have in Star Wars Episode 11. Yeah. Because of the way, you know, even though it won't be Peter Mayhew, you could still have him as an ongoing character. So I think Chewie's pretty safe. I also feel like if you kill Chewie,

you know like you kill a dog in a movie, everybody gets real upset. Yeah. I feel like you might get the same thing with Chewie's pretty safe. I also feel like if you kill Chewie, you know like you kill a dog in a movie, everybody gets real upset. I feel like you might get the same thing with Chewie. It sounds like I'm making a quip. I'm not. I just genuinely think people would feel the same kind of like, Chewie was so innocent. Yeah, it's kind of like,

he's that Groot. Yeah, exactly. Because he speaks in yells. You sort of never assume Chewie has flaws. Yeah. Well, that's like Mike. That's like, you know, Mike, I've got this little Ewok Persian cat. Yeah.

He looks like a little Ewok. And, you know, he's my best little buddy. Because we've never had an argument. He's never said anything retarded to me before. So, yeah, I think Chewie is like that. The same sort of thing. So, I would be disappointed if one of the big three doesn't die because I think this film almost needs it to be like,

this isn't a continuation of the original trilogy. This isn't, you know, what you think it's going to be. And this is what's going to happen. And I know it can't be Luke because Luke's being like, I'm in number eight. It can't be Luke, right? Because of that. It can't be Han because

No, Luke Luke is you forgetting about the old Jedi Ghosts. Oh, that's very true. Force Ghosts. Force Ghosts. No, but see, it's still a super dick move to be like, we're looking for Luke.

We found Luke and he's dead. Shit. Damn, he's been dead for years. That's kind of like a bit of a cop out. I think it's probably going to be Leia, sadly. I hope they don't. That's what I'll put my money on. Leia shot to the head. I don't think she's going to be in the line of fire.

Probably not, realistically. More of a diplomat role. What about, this is what... This is the thing. Okay. And I'm not sure we're going to get it, but I have a hard time thinking that if this happens, I won't love the film.

Like, it doesn't matter what else happens. Yeah, okay. And that is if Luke Skywalker I won't love the film like doesn't matter what else happens yeah okay and that is if Luke Skywalker cracks open his green lightsaber like I just want that's what I reckon almost the final third of the film

or at least if not the final frame is when they find Luke or if there's like Luke's coming back and yeah he's like alright and then the lightsaber. Okay, I sort of have to, I don't think the way you're saying the final frame will be him with his lightsaber because Star Wars films don't end like that.

They end with like a zoomed back thing. Family shots. Yeah, of like, of like there's stuff to come. We're pausing to like contemplate what's happening next. Everybody's gathered together to look out a window. Good point. So maybe even just, yeah, at some point Luke is like.

Yeah, like even like. Hell, just like have that as the opening of the second one. Just like darkness and then just a and there's the green thing. Again, that's not how Star Wars films start. Well, after the bloody scroll. It's got to scroll down or up. Then it goes down. And then it's got to show a ship. Then he does it. Yes. It's a big ship. They're like

good, sorted that. Go down to the planet. Don't ruin my movies, buddy. See, I think there will definitely be I think there'd have to be a bit where either luke is being out of retirement or whatever and that might be part of luke's arc is that he maybe doesn't want to pick up a lightsaber or something like that and then eventually yeah he will be forced to act what is making him act i don't know hang on there's some other characters that we

could kill off and no one would care c-3po oh yes attack of the clones really wore me out for c-3po like i don't think anybody wants him off c-3po anymore like who in the world is craving more c-3po and r2d2 no we got someone else what what what did you say? We've got like the new one, BB-8. No, no, R2-D2 is forever. You can't kill like... No, no. But we can kill C-3PO. You're giving us that one? Yeah. Thumbs up to killing C-3PO.

Yeah, fucking fuck it. Okay, I have no... I hope they just unceremoniously push him off. The prequels did him no favours whatsoever. Like he was never great and then they just... Nah, he had some good... He was great. I guess the chance of...

He was a straight man. Yeah. And in Jabba's Palace, he was killing it. Yeah. Very funny. He's on fire in Jabba's Palace. What about when he was the god of the Ewoks? Yeah.

He didn't even know... He didn't know he had it in him. He didn't know he had it in him. Champion of the original trilogy. That pissed me off when I was a little kid. When I watched Jedi when I was like four or something, the fact that he took credit for the floating chair and he said, I didn't know how to eat it.

I was a little kid going, it was Luke. Luke did it. Not you. It was Luke. Don't take credit. Really annoyed me definitely kill C3PO no one would really bad night but that's the thing it's also like the thing of like kill it it's like what's even the point of killing it he's not in the film at all they just like quick like a smash cut cut to see TPO Just being pushed into a tip

Smash cut back But that's even like In Revenge of the Sith He's barely in it But that end bit Like in Attack of the Clones Like the fact that A battle droid's head

Is perfectly compatible For no If it's just near Does that imply that A battle droid's head is perfectly compatible for no, like just if it's just near. Like what? I know. Does that imply that like in the world of Star Wars, all the droids, it's like mix and match?

I've got iPhone plugs that don't work in my iPhone. Yeah. Strange. Ridiculous. Yeah. I think I still, I'm still on team. Sorry. I'm sorry, Steel. but I think killing Han would be

really like give that emotional gut punch that a first act particularly of a new trilogy might need yeah maybe I just think I'm just worried personally before this week it would have been

like I would have bawled. Yeah. But like after seeing those blue eyes, you don't understand. Just how beautiful they are? Huh? Just how beautiful those eyes are? And just like people are movie stars for a reason.

Do you know what I mean? They are mesmerizing, charismatic people. And when you like i can't understand the feelings i was it was insane it was like he did have jedi like it was like i was just like it was insane and it's just like oh it was it was the bizarrest thing ever but it would make it yeah a lot more emotional for some for some bizarre reason so that was what i would love i would love the emotional gut punch and i would love for that to be maybe the catalyst for maybe they they don't even find luke maybe that's the whole point is

that they're searching from they don't find him but then that's when luke finds that out and that's why that's the catalyst for luke to kind of be a big we'll find them yeah to find them and be a big guy role in episode eight my that's what i want my yeah so my you guys i don't want to pin the whole film on it but i i do dearly wish and and hope i get to see him have the green lightsaber my favorite scene in all the films is when the green lightsaber is revealed when he says, goes to Jabba, he's on the sail barge about to get chucked in and he goes, hey, how about you let us go?

Otherwise I'm going to have to kill everyone. And Jabba's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And Luke's just like, all right then, dude, I fully gave you a warning. Here we go. R2, R2, fling us over that lightsaber. I'll do a sweet little backflip and I'll kill... I just love...

I love that whole thing of like going, you know, I'll do this. So here's your last shot. I'm just putting it all out there. Giving you a chance. Giving you a shot. I love that so much. So I...

There's a bit of a cat attack going on the for him to light up the lightsaber for whatever reason would be great for him to come in

in the last five minutes and save the day would for someone that's been waiting to see what happened after Return of the Jedi for 32 years

would be... It'd be so good. It would be just... I would cry. I'm crying theorising about it. Just emotionally, I'd be like, this is beautiful. Like, and when... In the original Star Wars, when it was first screened in theatres,

when Han Solo came back and saved Luke and said, you've got, you know, you're all clear, kid. Yeah. Like the audience cheered. And to have Luke come back on, you know, Thursday morning at it would probably be about 12.05, no, sorry, 2.05 in the morning. To have him come back and save the day,

that audience reaction, fuck. How's this for a scenario? Han is about to get shot. They're in like a situation where they're done. And I should, just before you finish, I should butt in that the amazing thing about this film is, is that unlike other films where we've got our main heroes, we are going to be on tender hooks for the film for Han's life.

Yeah, that's true. Which is great. So you have that. So maybe they're fucked up. This is like they're in change or they're about to die. Really, the mission that they were going to the big bad this is it this is it and they're almost about to die and then from out of nowhere force push someone luke comes out lightsaber it's like don't worry i got your back kid and then we have the action sequence and then

would you just die then and there or just be just like, oh, this can't deal with this. Just black out. I would. I don't know that you'd miss it. I don't know. I sort of like, I don't know. Star Wars is such a,

like I sort of really free myself to it and that's sort of like, it's weird. It's like compared to other stuff, I feel like I'm, like I'm a happier person talking. I don't know. There's something about it that frees me of cynicism. But if that happens, and I don't like to predict what I'd – I don't want to force things.

People do those reaction videos when they're getting filmed and you sort of feel like there's a bit of a a show going on and i i think it's a much more natural reaction to just like like the the audio and i can guarantee like i sat next to my producer from Studio 10 for the nine-minute preview and he said, oh, my God, Steel, you were loud. Yeah, fair enough. But for him to come in at the last minute and save the day, for the screening I'm going to anyway, which is sort of like the fan club slash the Steel Wars podcast, me not screening,

I just imagine like the whole theatre standing and- Riots. Like just cheering and- Yeah. Because I sort of think the first screening, like for this one anyway, is like I definitely think I'm going to... And a lot of people in the audience are going to miss a lot.

I think it's going to be more of a... Just letting it all wash over you kind of thing. Yeah, and a bit of a party and stuff. You know, these people that are like, I'm going to go when it's not so... It's just like... It's not a... You're missing...

Star Wars is a really good movie and a great franchise, but it's the fans that made it into like what it is. And without the fans, it wouldn't even be back. It would never come back after the 90s. It was dead. Do you know what I mean? And it was just the The fan support. For. For.

For when they relaunched the books. In the early 90s. The. The Zahn trilogy. And then the Dark Horse comics. That's what. Like. It was.

A fan supported comeback. Um. And. To miss out. On. Seeing it. In those opening few days. Is just to.

Like. I. Again. Like. Even if you've never seen a star wars just go there and just see people be happy and well exactly like this is like i don't think there's ever going to be as you said we said before like literally anything like this to come or what we've seen sort of before like we didn't have this sort of same level of excitement for

the phantom menace and that definitely died with with you know episodes two and three and nothing coming out in the next foreseeable future i think it's going to have the same sort of i know i impact it will never happen again like this is it like it will never and this is a big like it's a monumentous occasion for pop culture and especially the way entertainment sort of, you know, like video, like it's sort of, you know, so fragmented and stuff and it's so easy just to wait for the download to come out and stuff like that.

This is like, this is seriously it. Yeah. Like no one's going to give it really, no one's going to give this much of a shit about like Avengers 3. No one's going to care this much about X-Men Apocalypse. If they made, like, another Tolkien film, again, same kind of concept. No one's going to be caring this much. But what if, go on, this trilogy is as bad or worse than the prequels,

and then they're like, all right. A new set of sequels. Okay. Then we'd have like the trepidation of the last six films being trashed. And we'd be like, okay. Fool me once. Fool me once. It's kind of like the next, like, you know, the next generation's J.J. Abrams. We'd be like, look, i know we've done some things in

the past for some reason keep a couple of missteps mistakes were made over several decades we're gonna fix it do you reckon there'd be enough good i reckon there'd be enough goodwill for them yeah holy shit that was like as you were saying, you were making me so angry. And then I was like, I know, that's actually pretty funny. But like, I think even if they were like, okay, we're trying again after six trash films. Because that's the thing about Star Wars. That it's like enduring. Yeah. It's almost like the Eddie Murphy effect.

Like, because of Raw and Delirious that he made in the 80s, we will forgive him and give him so many chances. I don't like it when he dresses up as a woman, but I love him when he was a homophobe. Right? But he had so much goodwill for those two stand-up specials. What else is he going to do? Another terrible trilogy. Sorry? I going to do? Another terrible trilogy.

Sorry? I think we could forgive another terrible trilogy. If this trilogy is appalling and the next one comes out, we'll see it. Tell me when we're like 60, we're not going to be like, all right, let's do a podcast or a cube cast or whatever we're doing in the future. An iMelb. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I picture if this film sucks, riots at Disneyland. We've got somewhere that we can really do some damage to. Exactly. Imagine breaking a roller coaster. How exciting. If this movie is bad, it's just going to... They're going to cancel Rogue One. Oh, man. They're probably going to cancel

the... No, they're not. Because like... They just soldier on. They soldier on with the prequels. Like, shit Star Wars films are very profitable. Good point.

Good point. But, I don't know. They've worked so hard. Like, what more do you want? Like, so hard. Like, what more do you want? Like, in the lead up, what more do you want to give you confidence? Oh, exactly. Yeah. Like, I have nothing but, like, I was trepidatious.

Is that a word? Maybe. I was very trepidatious because, again, I don't want to have that level of excitement crushed. But the more I talk about them, like the trailers that I've seen, and it's just like I can't help but be excited for them. And so I'm going into it Wednesday night slash Thursday morning, and I don't think I'm going to have a bad time.

And even if this ends up being another Phantom Menace, I think I will be like those people at the end of like what did you think of the Phantom Menace it was the greatest movie ever and I think because we're seeing it with a bunch of people at a midnight screening in that environment and because we've been looking forward to this

for so long I think no matter what it is I'm probably going to love it and I'm going to it is, I'm probably going to love it. And I'm going to be surprised. And I'm, because I don't know anything about this storyline. It's the point where I don't even,

like even the speculations, like I don't really even really care about speculating because I'm like, I just want to be, which is weird. What have you been doing for the past two hours? Yeah. Because I can see this movie almost like as a film in and of itself. Like almost with childlike wonder,

like I don't know what's going to happen next. And that's great. That's super rare. And it is super rare. Like fucking Civil War, Captain America Civil War, I know pretty much what's going to happen there. Again, Batman versus Superman. How do you know? I know what's going to happen. Because you can just see from the trailers. You can kind of see, you can kind of deduce what's going to happen there. Again, Batman versus Superman. How do you know?

You can just see from the trailers. You can kind of deduce what's going to happen. Iron Man and Captain America are going to have a fight. Captain America is probably going to die and Bucky and or Falcon will take up the mantle of Captain America and then we'll probably see Captain America again in Infinite Wars. If that happens, good.

I guess. But it wouldn't surprise me. What do you mean? It will be like a new Captain America again in Infinite Wars. If that happens, good, like I guess, but it wouldn't surprise me. What do you mean? It will be like a new Captain America or he will come back? Yeah, probably like Bucky. As in Steve Rogers will come back in Infinite Wars. He'll be like,

hey, I'm back as Captain America. I've been away, I'm back. Because of the reality gem or some shit like that. It'll be trash, whatever. Oh, you really think that might happen? Yeah. Like I really think that Captain America is going to get shot by crossbones

if they're kind of using the same stuff from the source material um and bucky and or falcon because again not just because of the storylines but also because i know the contracts of certain actors are sort of finishing up and they're sort of arguing and all that kind of crap is happening behind the scenes but i really think either bucky and or falcon is going to pick up because marvel has been like hey here's the next 16 films we're going to do till like 2048 or whatever the fucking shit. You're just like, oh, I can see the plot. Because see, someone that's like, again, I'm just a film guy.

Yeah, yeah. Like with those two teams, I'm just like, I can't imagine what's going to happen out of this. Like who's going to win? I think I've seen enough Marvel films that I'm like, what's going to happen out of this. Like, who's going to win? I think I've seen enough Marvel films that I'm like, nobody's going to win. Nobody's going to be in charge in the end. We're just going to be at the same weird stalemate

that Marvel films exist in. And also with the Marvel films, I'm sort of beginning to just be like, yeah, it's sort of just like, oh, a few of these have, they had like such an A-level score for a while. And then Age of Ultron and everything was like... Weirdly, I was like, Marvel can do nothing wrong.

Age of Ultron, it's trash. Marvel's trash. I went from just like a spat on a dime. And I'm very concerned about the whole Star Wars franchise because if they're going to do what Marvel are doing, which is like, Hey, film every year, film every year,

film every year. It's just dangerous. It is dangerous. That's like saturation. I think for a fan, like the, the film, every, even though the other ones are Star Wars stories,

they're not as kind of in integrally connected as the Marvel ones are like, as in like all the Marvel ones are like, hey, we're telling one story. Yeah, it's not a progressive storyline. Do you know what I mean? Which is why I'm more excited. They're actually, you know, like, I guess when you look at it, they're all flashbacks.

So you're going back to, you know, the Death Star plans getting found in Rogue One and then you're going back to a young Han Solo and then possibly a young Boba Fett. I kind of don't... With the Star Wars films, I don't really want that... I don't want the standalone films really to...

Tie in? With each other. Yeah. I want, I want the Star Wars saga to be where the tree branches out from. Yeah. I agree. Like I,

I basically, I don't want an Ant-Man versus Falcon sort of situation in the Star Wars films. Yeah. And it's, it's hard. It's hard because, you know,

like comic fans have sort of grown up with a different premise of how things work. And, you know, Star Wars fans have sort of, like it's the movies, they come out in sets of three. Yeah, there's a clear pattern. And we don't, you know, we've never had anything else has been like in animated sort of form. So it's, it's it's like

and I think as a fan I like my like my favorite thing you know maybe after this week it will be different the film be amazing but I've had you know I've you know traveled around the world probably four times sort of doing you know for various things but podcasting on the, going to these Star Wars events. And the wait and the anticipation and the bring, like there was a rumour that thankfully got quashed that they're going to show like a teaser for Rogue One with The Force Awakens.

And it's like, why? You don't need to follow that pattern, you know? Yeah. What are you going to achieve? Like you don't, like spread out your excitement. Do you know what I mean? Like, you know, that's the curse of someone that's born on Christmas Day is that they've got, it's double presents, but it doesn't mean as much.

No. And if you have your birthday, you know, a month later, it's great. And, like, there's something that, you know, the spreading out of the excitement, the trickling out, the, you know, like it is quite strange, like in the cycle of films where I guess around Easter, like March or April, we'll get the Blu-ray, the film will come out and then we get to watch it all again. And I don't like – and that's maybe a bit of an old school.

That's how we were used to the three-year cycle i don't like that idea of like that you know the dvd is coming out and then i'm straight away my focus is to turn to this film coming out and it will really lessen the impact of it well exactly we sort of become complacent and it's sort of that thing of being like oh yes it's just another star wars film and to me to be going like when i'm at that stage marvel like oh it's just another marvel film or just another marvel series and it's almost like like for example jessica jones for example it almost felt like a chore to watch like i enjoyed it for what it was i actually did really enjoy it i think it's a very strong I heard that's been getting people been loving that yeah they have good but it's like here's

another marvel thing to watch it was a very good it was a very strong b plus but it had some room for improvement but to me it was like okay here's a marvel thing I have to think that's that's fine I guess and I don't ever really want that to happen with star wars because you know I think I'm like one person in this room again being very big fans of this sort of series it's like i want that excitement about this thing that i like so i don't want to be just like oh it's another star wars film that's coming out this year great and it's just sort of i don't want that complacency. Well, here's the deal. Like last year for Comic-Con, you know, I, you know,

camped out overnight to see the Force Awakens panel. And how it worked out was that my fiance wasn't going to be able to make it down because she works in LA. So she was going to be able to make it down the night before and sort of like when the line was in full swing. So still a camp out, but I got there really early. And I had met this one guy from a podcast called the Star Wars Underworld. This guy called Chris. I've met him once like the year before at Comic-Con.

Cause I listened to his podcast and I sort of, you know, we just, you know, vague content on Twitter. Like last year I went up to him and said, Hey man, I like your podcast.

And we're not cool dude. And then I bumped into him and his little sister and his friend Dominic and they said, oh, we're going to find our other friends, Randy and Jason from makingstarwars.net and they're already in line. And I said, oh, I don't know anyone to line up with and can we jump in? I said, can I tag in?

And so we all, you know, spent, and we became like great friends. Like I have, like I, you know, we're always interacting and stuff and we can't like, when I'm in America,

we'll catch up. And it's, if they pump them out so quickly, like, so Comic-Con's coming back up, you know, in July and then Rogue One's there. And it's like, are we excited enough to camp overnight?

No, yeah. Like I want to be because as much as like for the layperson, oh, you lined up 36 hours and – I shouldn't even say it like that because it does sound insane to line up for that long. I can't wait. Like, I could not wait. Like, to line up this time.

Like, it would be like, that'd be one of the best things of Comic-Con is to get in line with those guys and record podcasts and go on missions and fuck around. It's like a little camp. Like, do you know what I mean? And to bring stuff out so quickly,

that reduces the urge and the need to do that. You know what I'm saying? You become complacent. You're like, yeah, another one. It's like getting fed candy. It's like I'm not excited for the new candy because I know I'm getting candy. getting fed candy you know it's like i'm not excited for the new candy because it's almost i know i'm getting candy again using star wars again it's like the comic books of the marvel

release in earlier this year it was kind of like here they are and i read a couple i'm like i'm not interested and they just keep releasing i think like five or six what it was they at least a layer one an actual star wars one a v one a fucking a Canaan one or whatever it was and it was kind of like I just there were at least so many I was like

I'm not going to read any of them yeah they've got three I think they normally have three long running ones and then they'll have

separate like another one that will run like they'll always have another like mini like so there'll be like it was Leia then it went to lando and i think now it's chewbacca okay but yeah it's that thing of yeah the comic thing is different because i just think like if they were putting out bangers i wouldn't mind do you know what i mean but and i i i'm like

i sort of i feel like and it's you's a bit of a sucker thing where it's, but I sort of have to also read them so I know what's going on to like talk about in the podcast and stuff. Basically, I have to read them so I can tell people when it's fucked. And it's so funny. Like with that lightsaber, there was this image in one of them where they're all sort of holding lightsabers. And I was a bit behind.

I was like maybe a week behind. And I Instagrammed it. And I just went like Instagram that photo. And I'm just like, Marvel, you're fucking pushing the friendship. And one of the listeners is like, I was wondering when you were going to start complaining about that. Like they read it and they're like steel is gonna hate this and right you were but yeah it's an interesting you know star wars is a unique property for both you know how fun it is but also the backstory of how it was created and the way because george lucas was able to through um the desperation

of him getting the first film made was able to keep the ownership because um you know 20th century fox essentially gave him more money and but took away his his payments yeah but then and then didn't want like one of the negotiating things was sequel rights and merchandising and they were just like well what do you want do you know what i mean like it's like why do you want sequel rights and and merchandising to you know someone's bizarre fan fiction or something. It's worth nothing and it just happened to be the most – Look at it now, yeah. Yeah, it's worth more than the film. But yeah, so I think we've been treated –

we've been privileged that it was in that little bubble, that non sort of stockholder bubble. Yeah. And now it is in now it's like now it is owned by stockholders and like you know there is a thing about as fan friendly and how great a job they seem to have done with all but there is the the the IP needs to be exploited and you know like when if you you know at all follow professional wrestling you know they've you know they're in a like a real lull at the moment because they they put

three hours out every monday night and then they've got another two hours on a Thursday or a Friday and it's just too much. It's just like even – and it is of low quality because of that but it's also like even if it was good, do you have enough time to dedicate to watching all this shit? You're essentially watching – We are just human beings. A Lord of the Rings film every fucking Monday night. Like I don't like...

You know, if it was short and it was good, I'd watch it. Exactly. But it's not. So I don't... I'll watch it when it's like WrestleMania or Royal Rumble. Yeah. And to think that there's a chance that Star Wars could fall into that oversaturation, even at a extended

like I'd hate to think that Rogue One would come out and I saw it once at the cinema yeah see what I mean and it's skirting that like it might not be bad films but it might just be over too many films

and we're over exposed to them and I just I'm cautious I'm wary yeah maybe i'm a skeptic but maybe i'm more cynical but it's very just but it's done how you've never been you know you've never you've never it's never been and that's the thing you're used to it with star wars and you know there's that whole thing of like the, you know, having those, you know, those three years before film, you know, after films where like you had that year and a half to like read all the, all the novels about it and then read all the cross section books and the, like the guide to the planets and the thing that points out

all the, you know, the parts of the, you know, all that, all those cool books and stuff and really soak it up. Like the reason that original Star Wars fans from the 70s and 80s know so much minutiae about the films is they had nothing else to do. They had time to. They had for like 15 years to do fuck all. Exactly. And then they can buy all these books that are coming out that are just about the

cross sections of ships and they can kind of read about it. Whereas we're going to be inundated I feel with a lot of Star Wars. However. Yes. If this film's a fucking banger. I'm sold. Give us more films. Oh, exactly.

And that's the thing. Fuck. If they're quality, then fuck it. Well, who gives a shit? Let's go balls deep. And on that note,

I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've been Steel. And where else can we find it? What are you doing this week, by the way, considering it is coming out this Wednesday night, Thursday morning?

I'm doing a lot of doing a lot of radio and a little bit of television. But the main thing is it's all sold out, but you can experience it with us through podcasting. So we are doing a midnight screening in association with the Star Walking fan club. It's the Australia's longest running – oh, no. It's the world's longest running Star Wars fan club. And we're doing a big screening out at Knox.

And then straight after, this is a social experiment that – and you know how you're saying how you're coming out of the theatre. And this is why I wanted to know. This is why I did this. So directly as soon as we come out of the theatre, which is I think it's about 2.15, we are doing a live podcast. It's sold out. 250 fans next door at the Irish pub, directly next door to the theatre. So that's what I mean.

It's like it's going to be a raw like whatever we've got. And people have traveled from all around Australia. And if anyone listens to the podcast, The Comedy Film Nerds, it's a really popular movie review podcast with comedians Graham Elwood and Chris Mancini. with comedians Graham Elwood and Chris Mancini. When I told, I did a Steel Wars with Graham Elwood and I was telling him about my ideas,

my idea to do this podcast. And he was just like, yeah, that's great. I'm coming. And a year out when a guy that you're hanging out with in LA says they're coming to Australia to watch a Star Wars film with you, you're like, yeah out when a guy, you know, that you're hanging out with in LA says they're coming to Australia to watch a Star Wars film with you, you're like, yeah, that's good, man. Sure.

What else? I'll make up the spare bed. But as it happens, he tried to get sponsorship. And he, like, if you know the LA Podcast Fest, he's one of the four guys that got that going. And the sponsorship didn't work out. So it didn't seem like he was coming. And he mentioned it on his podcast, they wouldn't be able to come and then some dude emailed him and said oh yeah here's five grand to pay for your tickets damn and um i said this is

the curious thing i said to gram um so there's a dude that paid for your tickets has he got a ticket to come to the show like to come to the movie because you know I'll give him a ticket yeah and Graham's like oh no

he lives in Ohio he's not coming he just wants to hear the podcast good that's crazy which and

the other day at Twigged I was like he could have just paid for them to come to his house and do it and then spend the other four and a half grand on fees for them or something. 500 bucks, I'd record in someone's house, sure. So we're going to try Periscope it.

So check, the Twitter address is at Steel Wars and I think the Periscope, I'm not even sure how Periscope it. So check – the Twitter address is at Steel Wars and I think the Periscope – I'm not even sure how Periscope really works but I've got a social media expert. He's onto it. That's at Steel Wars as well. But either way, if you want to check it on the way home, if you're in Australia, it'll be – you can watch it. But the live podcast will go up around 7 in the morning

and it's going to be just a live us in front of all these people in a bar. It's going to be hopefully just an amazing celebration of a great film. We've got tons of special guests. We've got comedians. We're going to have, if you're in Australia, you'd know Paul Dempsey from Something for Kate will be a guest. He plays our theme song. He's a huge Star Wars fan.

Ben Gillies from Silverchair is going to be jumping up. He's very keen for the film. Very, very keen in fact. So it's probably going to be the first podcast review of

the movie or one of them. And it will be up sort of 24 hours before Americans have seen it. But yeah, and if people just want to listen to the podcast, if you like Star Wars, I think you should listen because I'm very proud of, I think we're doing good stuff. We've had, if you know the classic iconic film reviewer, Leonard Moulton, who maybe if you watched the VHS box set of Star Wars in 96,

he was the guy that interviewed George Lucas before each of the films. And yeah, Harrison Ford's going to be on an episode this week. Really? Very cool. Very quickly. Very quickly. But I think what is more endearing is the podcast around it. So you'll get to see someone that's loved Star Wars

since that was his first memory deal before and after with the stress and anxiety and the sheer exhilaration of doing this thing. Like I did, you know, my goal this year was to, you know, I knew of the press rampage and I was often unhappy with how Star Wars fans, you know, like perceived. Like they're not, you know, I'm a comedian. I, you know, was a sponsored skateboard not you know i'm a comedian i you know you know it was a

like sponsored skateboarder for most of my like it's not like the and and the podcast is sort of about busting that stereotype that talking to people that have like used star wars to project themselves into the world um you know like that thing of like that that just that message of luke skywalker looking at those twin sons and going, I think I'm meant to be doing something different. You know, I wish I could do it and going to do it. I think that's the message of Star Wars. And I think that's in the new film with Rey sort of watching the starships fly off in the preview.

I think that's sort of, you know, fly off in the preview, I think that's sort of, you know, carrying on that you can achieve more if you put yourself sort of out there. So, like, I really wanted to make sure that I could sort of steer the tide of how it was reported. And also, you know, like with the little clips I've been doing for morning TV and radio and stuff, it's like just make it a bit more of not pointing and look at those freaks because to me, and it's fine because I'm glad they're happy doing it,

but for a person to dress up in a stripy jumper and go watch 18 dudes kick a dead pig around a field try to get them through some poles like that's weird like you know why are you crying because they didn't kick enough pig skin through the poles i don't understand but you know that's what makes people happy and so it's great yes and and and you know, that's what makes people happy. And so it's great. Yes. And, you know, films and comics and stuff is what makes a different group of people happy as well. And that's fine. Exactly.

As long as you keep it in check, you guys. Yeah. So check out Steel Wars. We're going to be doing... Yeah. Like I think if you're a Star Wars fan, you're really going gonna love it so damn right give it a look check it out and i also do another podcast called i love green go letters

quite simply we make fun of the complaint letters to the tv guide and try to get the people that are getting complained about on and it's very popular and it's quite funny and also uh one of the winners of Best of iTunes 2015 as well as this podcast. Oh, nice. That's a compliment to bring up your own compliment. Damn right. It's a double compliment. A little humble brag. I'm with some pros.

I'm with some pros. Awesome. Well, I think it's going to be an amazing night this Wednesday. And I think we're probably going to be releasing a fucking podcast almost every day this, this week as well. And, just one more thing

about the Wednesday night. I'm, I don't know, I'm, in talking to all these fans around the world and, and going on these amazing,

like, adventures and stuff, it's, like, meeting people and, and sort of, like,

interacting, like, the internet has made it so easy to be a fan from your bedroom, whether it's buying stuff on eBay or chatting online or tweeting or whatever. It used to be about going out to collector's fairs and going to conventions and that's how you'd meet people. When you're in the line to queue up and you're sitting in the cinema beforehand don't be listening to us talking chat to the person next to

you ask them about their costume what they're looking forward to and and like they are your target market they're friends that you haven't met yet they're very excited so just live live get to the cinema a bit early and soak it up because it's going to be a magical evening and it's never going to happen like this again. Exactly. It's going to be an amazing time. It might even get you excited, Jackson.

No, I doubt it. But I hope it's good for your sake. I won't care. But if it's bad, then I'm going to have to listen to all this again. I can't even be bothered. So I hope it's amazing. So you're going to be excited if Han Solo dies. You'll find that very fulfilling as a film.

You'll be crying. I'll be jumping and screaming if Luke comes in and ignites his lightsaber to save the day. And you will not be satisfied until the entire galaxy is taken over by those fucking battle priests. Yes, or Nyob Nyob, or whatever his name is. Just like 24-hour Nyob Nyob. Oh, wielding five lightsabers.

Yes, one in his mouth. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sandspantsradio.com.