Plumbing the Death Star - What Does The General Public Know About the Justice League and I Guess Surrounding Events?

Episode Date: March 17, 2019

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Sands Pants Radio just slam it in a drawer. Hey, this Melbourne International Comedy Festival, don't be a dope and come see me host Big Deal, a quiz show that angers God himself. It was seriously hampered by the fact that we weren't allowed liquids and stars a whole bunch of Sands Pants people and comedians. It's sort of like the game show equivalent of owning and eating your own haunted doll. Grab your tickets from the Melbourne International Comedy Festival website or from sanspantsradio.com forward slash live. Also,

if you're looking to keep yourself up to date about the latest goings on at the Sanspants Radio HQ, then check out the show notes below for how to subscribe to our newsletter so we can keep you in the loop about everything currently happening. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, what does the general public know about the Justice League and I guess the surrounding events? Right, well, the reason I really want to ask this question or delve into this is because, yeah, you guys have yet to see Aquaman. Yeah, correct. I have, and there is one glaring, I guess, I don't know if it's a glaring, I don't know, problem I have with it, apart from a lot,

is there's these people that go on TV and they're being like, is Atlantis real? What do we know about Atlantis? And people being like, there is no such thing as fish people. But they have an Aquaman on a Justice League, so... But at what point in Justice

League does Aquaman tell everyone his origin? Like, the public? Also, I haven't seen Aquaman, but I've read a bit about it to make sure that definitely isn't for me. Confirmed. So in Justice League, they never say, but it's assumed that the place he goes is Atlantis. But then the plot of Aquaman is finding Atlantis. So at that point, Aquaman doesn't even know if Atlantis is real, I guess. But that's just never seen in Justice League.

Because, so with the Avengers initiative, that's a government initiative. And Iron Man's like, hi, I'm Tony Stark. I am Iron Man. Everyone's like, whoa! And then boom, boom. Oh, sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I'm Iron Man. Who the hell is that?

No, you're Tony Stark, idiot. Why am I at this conference? You're a big-headed buffoon. Iron Man, is the hell is that? No, you're Tony Stark, idiot. Why am I at this conference? You're a big-headed buffoon. Is this an eSport thing? What's going on? Yeah, I know the song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That wasn't a music.

Only. I don't even go outside. But the Avengers is a government initiative, right? So the government has an impetus to be like, oh, hey, this is who the Avengers are. Get to know them, buy the merch. But Justice League's just started by Batman. So at no point does anyone's origin ever get to...

I would just be like... And at no point no one calls them the Justice League. Yeah, that's true. Although the government are aware of it because if you remember in the infamous post-credits scene of the Suicide Squad, which they do call themselves, Batman goes to Amanda Weller. Vella? Weller? Weller?

Well-being. Well-meat. Well-good. Amanda. Yeah. And is like, hey, something about a... I can't remember what they talk about, but she's like, this might be of interest to you.

Also. Or he's like, this might be of interest to you. Lex Luthor calls it, we should make a league of our own. Yeah, at what point do they call themselves the Justice League and to whom? Or any league by itself. Or are they just big fans of League of Their Own? Yeah, it's just so weird. The Tom Hanks classic?

Like at no point. I love all the hard and fast movie references for no one. But like at no point, they don't save the day at Justice League and be like, and we were the Justice League. You would look at them and be like, bad man. No,

him Superman. I hate him. Wasn't he dead though? Man of steel. That's just. All right. So going through it chronologically I guess in the films

No, we have time chronologically Okay, Wonder Woman Alright What do people know about Wonder Woman? Not much She fought in World War 1 for a bit But we don't know that I don't know who fought in World War 1

I know which teams were there I understand that But however, there was no like, hey, do you remember that real badass woman who wore a skirt and armour and had a sword and shield? Amelia Echlehart or whatever? Huh? Is that who we're talking about? It's great to imagine this is a class, right?

Please, Mr Doucher, I was about to say. This is a class room. Please, Mr. Doucher, I was about to say. Mr. Doucher, history substitute teacher, wheels in an old CRT. CRT? What do you call the TV? Didn't she go missing? Anyway, today we're going to learn about World War... Look, text notes.

One and... World War I. And Amelia Eccleshart. That was her name, wasn't it? Yeah. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that World War I was fought with planes and they weren't called the Nazis. They were nearly Nazis.

They were nearly Nazis. The nearly Nazis hated planes. That would be pretty funny if the timeline for Nazis is nearly Nazis, Nazis, neo-Nazis. That flows pretty well. That's true. But- All right, so World War I. So there'd be tales.

But here's my question. In the modern day, in the DCEU- Oh, wait. Do we know or was it hidden? No, no, no. There's a very big reason why people would know about the end of World War I because she killed hatred and evil or whatever. So remember the Germans?

You'd see them come out of the rubble being like, oh, we're not bad guys anymore. Okay, so for a bit, because World War II happened. Did it? There's no confirmation. We can't say yes or no They're gonna have to address this in some points Justice League 2 opens with like

God damn World War 2 Fucking sucked Damn I'm glad World War 2 Didn't happen I'm glad we stopped at 1 I like me just being like Yes Did you ever refer to Wonder Woman being in World War 1?

Or did I just refer to her being in the World War? No, they're not like Wonder Woman fought in the Great War. They're like Wonder Woman fought in World War I. So presumably World War I. Do they ever address her? Or is it just that we know that it's World War I because the time thing comes up and she's like, it was a hundred years ago and it's like 1910.

It's great again. Amelia Eccles-Hard in 19... I panicked because I know the World War II dates but World War I I'm always like was it 1909 to 1919.

No, that's too long. Yeah, I think it's 1914. I actually don't know myself. World War II was 1939 to 1945. I remember that one. Yeah. Here's a bit of history. Hey, everyone, if you're writing a history essay, use our dates. Exactly.

The internet and books are wrong. Don't worry, we know. It was 1914 to 1918, but whatever. Jesus! Hey, I got 1914 right. I was well off. Okay. Yeah. All right. I was well off. Okay. Yeah.

All right. Anyway. Okay, so yes. I'm glad World War II either did or did not happen. I have to assume it happened because I'm fairly sure they mentioned, or Wonder Woman's like, oh, maybe she's not. Maybe World War II didn't happen. But anyway, that's beside the point.

All right. So what do the general public know about Wonder Woman in World War I? So clearly it would have been reports that the Germans came out of a fugue state or they came out of like a weird- But that's assuming that at the end, because I know it looks like at the end of that movie that the Germans are like, damn, maybe I don't want to be a bad bloke anymore. But I always thought they were just coming out and being like, that was fucking crazy. So then it's just like that was fucking crazy Wonder Woman's like, I'm so glad I fixed your evilness

they're like, what? no, we're fighting for our our side, fuck you that's just not that black and white Wonder Woman World War 2 kicks off because of Wonder Woman making a statement like that so like the whole, was it, like, what was it?

The Hague, war crimes, all that kind of stuff? All that was for World War II. Was anyone for World War I? I'm sure. Probably. Look. I hate how. I don't know history.

Well, lack of just knowledge is crippling this episode. I am an ignorant man with loud voice and opinions. But here's what I think, is that even if you were a soldier in World War I, you probably wouldn't know about Wonder Woman. It's not like it was like... There was a small town

that saw her get launched up. There was one small town, one trench, or one section of no man's land. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like five Nazis. It would just be an urban tale. It would be like that fucking mongoose that was a ghost and turned off the oven.

One of them would just be like, Jeff the Talking Mongoose. Yes. It would be one of the springing. And then some guy would buy the house and be like, I shot Jeff. And everyone would be like, all right. I guess that's that problem sorted. Or maybe something akin to Spring Hill Jack. So it would have become like an old timey

urban legend. Because no one had any photos except the one photo of them all together. So, but that's only assuming, that's only half of it is Wonder Woman. There was also that lady making magic poisons. Yeah. And then there was War himself. Yes. Also, at that one point sure because who was

he in the british army her um war oh was he like a general yeah actually war had like a legitimate job because they're gonna be like at some point being like so in the uh at the end of World War I, we lost a general. We don't know how. He disappeared. So that would be part of a conspiracy theory. This important person in the British military cabinet, he just went one day. We don't really know where. He didn't die for any reason as far as we can tell.

So it'd be this conspiracy theory about maybe the Germans or someone either kidnapped him, but just during the tumultuous time after the end of World War I, we lost a general. A very big, important general. He wasn't a general. What was he? That laugh was just me realising that we might have to put in a time code. Like, look, if you don't want to hear about the...

Oh, no. He was knighted? He was a knight. We lost a knight. That's crazy. We hate when we lose those. But yeah, we're going to have to put a time... Sir Patrick!

We're going to have to put a time code in to be like, skip to this point. If you just want to accept... It's like a choose... Bandersnatch or whatever. If you want to accept that it's like a chooser band to snatch or whatever like if you want to just clear wonder woman don't worry about that bit skip to four four quarters three quarters of the way through the episode more like fucking two thirds because it's consuming us okay three quarters is bigger than two thirds you fuck with i heard one quarter i'm sorry okay so yeah there'll be this conspiracy theory.

There'll be weird tidbits like, did you know at the end of World War I, we lost a knight? He just went. We don't know where. He didn't take a plane. He just disappeared. There was a lot of scorch marks left in his office.

Yeah. Maybe one of them hell demons. Well, surely the government knows about Wonder Woman because the government... Wait, was Wonder Woman even an employee of that side? Or was she just there with fucking Handsome boy. Trevor. Chris.

Hi. Steve Trevor. Steve Trevor, yeah. Two first names. Weird. Pick one, Steve. Yeah. I'm gonna call him Trevor. Fuck him. Yeah, but was she just there with him? Like, does even the Because old mate Trev, because he was a CIA agent, maybe? No, he was a British soldier. Yeah, he just flew a plane.

He was a pilot. No, isn't he a spy boy? No, he's a pilot. Didn't he have secrets? No, his secrets were that I accidentally found Wonder Woman. Yeah. He flew a plane into a bubble. He's like, damn, I need to get back to Earth because...

But he was like a part of the... A bit more important. Because didn't they send him... Oh yeah, they really wanted to kill that one man. Trevor Pine. You would have had that lost ship that Steve Trevor crashes for reasons I can no longer recall. I think it's probably got bombs on it.

That would make sense. There's bombs on everything in this fucking universe. Bombs in ships, bombs in people's heads. But if you think about it... But explosions aren't deadly. Yeah. Suicide squad proves that. If you think of... A falling helicopter? Pfft, easy. It's a skim knee.

If you think about it, though, the events of Wonder Woman 1 are so kind of minor that people either probably just forget. It's either lost to time, or it's one of those things where it's like an urban legend or something like that. Or, hey, here's this weird report from the trenches. You know, and all they might try and, like, kind of, like, structure it in a way like it was a mythical being of, like, you know, our good Christian soldiers prayed to God, and then

he sent down an angel, and she helped us win against the nearly Nazis. I just think that if Wonder Woman had been that well-known, when Superman turned up, people would be like, ah, yeah, another one. Cool. Do you ever, like, when we record Plumbing the Death Star, ever get a moment where you're like, people are definitely

screaming at their phones at this point? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. record Plumbing the Death Star, ever get a moment where you're like, people are definitely screaming at their phones? Oh, yeah, 100% all the time. This is one of those episodes, guys. Strap yourself in. Our knowledge is not going to get better. No, no. You've just seen Aquaman. That's true. Your Aquaman knowledge might be fucking dope.

But that's a fucking while back. So strap in. That's the last boy. So, yeah, I think. Are you drawing a timeline? I thought you were drawing a timeline. I'm kind of doing a timeline, but also kind of just notes, which are just mostly question marks.

Yeah. So yeah, with Wonder Woman, I feel that it would just be an urban legend, and it would be recontextualized to whatever was going on. I think we just wouldn't forget it. I think it was such a minor thing. People wouldn't know that Wonder Woman happened. I think it would be an urban legend in small circles. Yeah.

Maybe. Maybe. Alright. What's next? Man of Steel? Alright. So Wonder Woman question mark, question mark, not much. Man of Steel. Man of Steel. Moss. What do we know about Moss? Alright. Okay, so imagine you're...

So the events of Man of Steel you might hear in the news... Like, I'm just trying to go through them chronologically. When Superman saves a bus full of kids, you might read about that in the news. No, you wouldn't. That'd be maybe in, like... If you were a town... Oh, if you were in small-town America near Smallville, I mean.

Yeah, you might maybe in a local newspaper hear about, there was a bus crash. No, like child Superman. They don't think that Superman saved the bus, except for that family that's like, you're raising Satan. Oh, that's right. They just think that the bus popped out of the sea and was fine. Oh, that would be an awesome newspaper article to read. Bus pops out of sea and is fine.

Boy on bus. Wet bus, Everyone safe. It's great that if it's sea, but then the photo is clearly of the river. Yeah, it does swamp or whatever. This newspaper's fucking dumb. I wish they'd hire a new reporter for the weekly planet.

No, daily planet. Yeah, alright, so maybe we wouldn't know much about that. And then the next thing Superman does is Well, Zod comes Yeah, that Because, like, Lois Lane is reporting Currently on Superman

To be like, who is this person? Zod comes along When do they arrest Superman? God, that movie's all over the place After Zod lands Also, you've got to remember that they'd be the No, no, no. They don't arrest. Yeah, Superman goes to jail.

She's like, your ass is fucking dumb, idiot. Why is the S? He's like, in my home planet, the S actually means hope. Well, it looked like an Earth S. When did you learn the Krypton language? Great question. How do you know what that means?

He learned it in the ice ship Yeah That's what I was going to say The ice ship is a thing that is discovered And it's clearly not a secret Because they get lower slain of the daily planet Okay, so we now know aliens exist And that's around about, what, 2000?

Yeah 2010? It's funny that we learn that aliens exist and then aliens invade. Okay. I would be like, guys, man, what are the odds? That's crazy. Look at this ship. What?

It's great to imagine, you know when Zod gets on everyone's TVs and is like, I'm Zod, I'm coming. Kneel for Zod. Me just trying to turn the TV off. What show is this? I hate this ad. Mark's headroom already did this. This is not cool. Is this speaking to a country that doesn't speak English?

Yeah. What? Huh? Who's this bowl-cut wearing motherfucker? I don't know what this guy's saying. It's also funny to imagine it on the TV. I can't turn the TV off. I push it over.

Turn on the radio and hear the same thing. You just look at you both with the most confused... What? What is this ad? Okay, so, all right. So, aliens exist. We know that from a spaceship. Zoda is on a TV.

Now, do we think this is viral marketing or do we think an alien? Well, I don't know. If we just found this big alien ship in the snow and then Zoda was like, I'm an alien, I would be like, guys, holy shit, this is an alien. I'd be like, surely now this is a big viral campaign for a new space opera that's coming out because as if we have found a ship and then an alien appearsars on our TV speaking English come on guys I would be so baffled when Zod landed and was just a dude with a bowl

Cut like that is the most Baffling thing in the world I wouldn't believe he was An alien I wouldn't know what was happening I would also not know which one was Superman And which one was Zod They just look the same We'll get to that because that hasn't Happened just yet.

We're still watching TV. Try to change the channel. What if you turn the TV off? Did you turn the TVs on? I think you did. What if I just push the TV over? I don't want to know. Shut up.

I'm just not interested. Yeah, I'd be convinced it was some kind of weird Hollywood marketing. Again, I would just be like, is this a pirated signal again? Is this Max Headroom, but bigger? Yeah. Well, I wouldn't even know. I just assumed that it was just my TV. That's also true.

That's a very funny thing. I'd just stick my head out the window of my house. Like, hey, neighbors, cut that shit out. Get off my antenna or whatever. I guess it'd be all over Twitter and social media and that kind of stuff. I guess. Hey, who caught this fucked ad? Hashtag fucked ad. Hashtag bowl cut.

Hashtag dickhead. I guess if it's all over Twitter, I might stop believing it. Well, I said earlier, I just believe it was aliens straight away. I think I'd just be like, I guess it's set before. Because the thing is, if that happened now, I'd be like, I hate the new Black Mirror. Me and Black Mirror is annoying.

It's not even good. Yeah, shut up. What if your TV was turned on by self and man, you ball cut yelled at you? What if your grandma died and we put her in a room? Shut up. So yeah, if Black Mirror had been out, I would assume it was some fucking Black Mirror bullshit I would assume some just marketing garbage Alright, so that's that

Then I would go to work And then there'd be reports that Metropolis got dunked Yeah, yes And then if I saw any news footage of that Like I said earlier, I would just be like Because the funny thing about the DCEU Is that when shit goes down in the Marvel movies in phase one, it's always little shit, right? And then the big shit happens.

But because of the little shit, we know who the superheroes are. DCEU is like, Zod attacks, Superman fights Zod. I don't know who these guys are. Sire City is destroyed. I'm just like, it's crazy those two human aliens came and blew up that city. It's just like... Also, so, okay, no context, right? No context, you see Superman's outfit.

What do you think the S stands for? I wouldn't... I wouldn't even see an S. I would be like, Snake Man! You paid no attention to the events leading up to it, but all of a sudden you see an S on a man's chest. Like, oh, I love this now. He's a snake man.

He's a snake man. Look at the powers of a snake. Strength. Snakes are strong. I actually would probably think either strong man. Strong man's worse than snake man. He lives so. What?

How? Show your working dickhead. It's a worse name. I'm not saying it's a worse name I'm saying you ask what would you think the S stood for I would say well I guess How do you get snake? How do you get snake?

No let him answer How do you get snake? Tell me You see this man He's wearing blue and red. He flies and he can punch shit. How do you get snake? He does have limbs, like a snake, of course, clearly doesn't.

The outfit kind of looks like scales, first of all. Name one blue snake. No, just saying the material. Looks like scales, a little bit. name one blue snake no name one blue snake just saying the material looks like scales a little bit of his outfit um and also that just would be what I first would think

when I saw S snake man's a more reasonable name than strong man he's got muscles he's lifting shit he lift up a car snake man flows better. It's not about the name.

It's just like if I saw an S, it was like, oh, first word that comes to my head, shit. Shit man. Wait, what does BMW stand for? I don't know. What do you think? What's the first thing that comes to your fucking dumb fuck mind? British motor vehicle

was what came to my head. Yeah, that makes heaps of sense. Anyway, just strong man who inspires no... Giving me a headache. What does AM mean

or PM? After morning, before morning. PM morning. PM's. Pre-morning. Post-morning. Sorry. So AM, which is the morning, is after morning to you?

And somehow PM is post-morning. So morning never happens. So morning for you is 12. No, it has to be The moment of time Between the 11.59 and the 12am But Not the time where Humans cannot see

The moment that light Is not fast enough I believe humans cannot perceive morning So yeah, I would think an S to it For strong What would you think, Dusha? Probably, well, do superheroes in general exist? No. This is the first boy we've seen. Although, wait,

Batman exists. Wait, we've got to go before Man of Steel. Because Batman exists. Let's finish Man of Steel. Alright, because we're close. So we've just got to know Batman exists. But Superman and Batman are so different you probably wouldn't associate them yeah no but the if the concept of a super because now we're in a weird situation of superhero which

is the concept of a cape that's true because in the they both wear cakes because in real life yes superman came first yeah so the concept of a superhero is based off him well yeah and also the concept of a superhero is based off um and also the concept of a superhero is based off old timey strongmen which is why I would think strong anyway strongmen because again the tights and all that kind of stuff is based on a strongman

but it's weird it's so hard to imagine a world where superheroes exist but we don't call them superheroes but Superman wasn't the first, but we don't call them superheroes. But Superman wasn't the first one. But you wouldn't think... Because he has a cape. No, but here's what you'd think. You would associate Batman with

serial killers, not with superheroes. I agree, you would. He's like the Zodiac killer. He wears a mask and he murders people. Cool. So that when Superman arrived, you wouldn't be like, oh, he's like Batman. You'd be like, I have no context. If someone was like, he's like Batman, you would be like i have no context either if someone was like he's like batman you'd be like batman's a serial killer supervillains exist too because the joker exists robin's dead oh that's true superheroes supervillains do exist are they

supervillains or they just villains they're just like well the joker like the so we know that the joker exists yeah but then also the joker that we get in suicide squad is just a gangster yeah and also like batman doesn't have any powers superman's flying this is the first time you've seen someone defy physics yeah so you were just so it's again it's all right because i know it sounds like really bugged me in man of steel was at the very end where it goes back to old like sorry young superman or clark and he puts on a towel and he pretends to be a superhero, who's he pretending to be? Zorro. I mean, it has to be. Yeah, he's just wearing a

cape. He does fly around like Superman. Maybe he's just come up with it then. Because the concept of superhero sort of kind of starts with... Yeah, but the concept of capes is not... The concept of capes to be like a straw, as in like a hero. Yeah. I just think that's a thing you'll eventually do with a towel.

It's also going to be interesting when Shazam comes out, because Shazam, the character, is usually based off Superman, but the world hates Superman. And in the trailer, he pulls out a Batarang. Yeah. So this Shazam looks up to Batman, but then ends up being Superman. Yeah, that Shazam does look up to Batman. They're like, oh my God, super cool, even though Batman is just a serial killer. It's like if you found out now that somebody had gone out and killed

a whole bunch of people, and you were like, what? And then you were like, oh, the people were petty crooks. You're not going to be like, man, what a good guy. You're going to be like, that's just crime on crime. We have that in Australia. His name's Chopper. Except Batman is Chopper-y. It wasn't petty crime. No. We have that in Australia. His name's Chopper. Batman is Chopper Reed. It wasn't petty crime.

No, no. It was bad things. It was bad things. So I just don't think... You might half-heartedly associate Superman and Batman, but it wouldn't be like an immediate parallel. You'd associate them later when they're hanging out. Yeah, then you'd be like...

When Batman brings Superman back from the dead. Okay, because we don't know a lot about Batman. We just don't. All we know is that there was a man. He dressed up in leather and had a cape. And he fought crime. And he had a lot of gadgets and did a lot of property damage. He also had a small child with him.

Yes. That small child died. Yes. And then there is like Mental patients That he loves to beat up Got access to guns And fast cars

So just don't think when I saw Superman fighting Zod I would be like that guy's just like Batman I'd be like no I wouldn't I'd just be like it's weird that they both have capes Yeah You'd be like it's cool that a snake gained sentience And became a man and also learned to fly.

Do you reckon that man is a whole bunch of snakes in that outfit? No. Like when it tears and I see skin, I'm like. What do you mean tears? Just like a snake. You can see his face and hands. That's a mask, idiot. He's shedding like a snake.

That's cool. I love this snake man. He has hair. He's got hair. Snake man's fighting rat man. How do you think he's a snake? What do you think a snake looks like? The other guy doesn't even have a rat.

Okay, show me. Wait. Guys, it's easy. So the S stands for snake man And snakes hate rats So the other guy must be rat man It's fucking science They're beating the shit out of each other

What do you think is happening? Please describe me what you think snake man The powers of and what they would look like Well, if I see this guy with an S on his chest No, I what though? No You hear the name snake man What do you picture?

Oh, I picture a man with the powers of a snake. What are they? No, no, no, no. Without. Sorry, this takes place. This conversation is now taking place with a man who hasn't just landed Superman as Snake Man. This is with Jackson, but this is Jackson pre. This is an alternate reality.

This is into the Jackson verse. Yeah, okay okay we're bringing together a jackson that has stood and seen superman and been like oh my god snake man and a jackson that didn't see that but we're asking the other jackson what he thinks snake man would be venom powers the ability to unhinge his jaw probably venom powers unhinged jaw. Okay. The ability to eat eggs whole. Yep. Some snakes can. Eggs cool. Two penises.

Two. Penis. Okay. If I'm asking you this question at this point, I'm like, no, no, no. Powers. That's a power. How many penises do you have? One.

Yeah. But some people are born with two, and we don't call that a superpower. More is better. I mean, I would. What else? Shedding. Shedding. Okay. Yeah. Like hair loss or like shedding skin? Shedding.

So the same way that a human peels after sunburn? Yeah. It's like the whole thing. You have to rub up against a branch or a tree or something. He's so smooth underneath. Underneath what? His skin.

The old skin. Pay attention. Okay. Uh-huh. How many, say, legs or hands do you think he has? He could have the regular amount. He doesn't necessarily have to have no arms and legs. Can he constrict people?

Not necessarily. As long as he's got one of those powers, I'm satisfied. Can he constrict people? Not necessarily. As long as he's got one of those powers, I'm satisfied. All right, so one of these powers. All right, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Now, all right, I'm going to describe. Let's just go through. Okay, venom powers.

Yeah. Anything that you've seen this person who has an S on their chest. Remember that I'm seeing it from far away. Yes, I am. I am. I am. So if I say, no, no, no, no, you have to be seeing it close enough that you can make out that fucking S.

Yeah, you almost had me. I was like, fair. No, you've seen the S. You're pretty close. Yeah, but I see the S, but then say they fly away and they're tussling. Oh, fly like a snake. Wait, one snake does.

Shut up. I'm like, that's a weird power for Snake Man to have. Although if they're tussling from a distance, you could assume he's trying to constrict him. Well, that's what I might think. Or he's biting him. Like, I can't see. Like, dude, he's trying to inject his venom into Rat Man. Guaranteed.

I like we're sticking with Ratman. I hate you so much. I hated when Ratman was on TV. I pushed over my TV and I didn't listen to him. Zod kind of looked like a rat. Yeah, he's Ratman. What's the Zod symbol look like? Let's find out.

Does it look like an R for rat? It doesn't have a symbol. Does it have a Z? Yeah, he's got something on his chest. No, isn't it just like the same logo as Superman, but without a letter? It's just kind of like a shape? I'm not sure. I sort of thought he had like a weird... Oh, he's got like

a weird... Oh, he's got something there. But he's mostly wearing power suit armor. I need a picture of the dog. No, there it is. I can imagine that's an... It looks like a bit of a sickle. is. I can imagine that's an... It looks like a bit of a sickle. Yeah, I can imagine that's an awful rat. How could...

It looks like a three. The number three. You're working in the wrong direction. I've already decided Superman is Snake Man. I've already decided Zod is... Look at this. I've already decided Zod is Rat Man. So when I see that symbol, I'm like,

I can't look like an R. How do you think that looks like an R? Assume you already believe he's Ratman, and it makes more sense. No, but I do like this is Man of Steel General Zod, but Zod is all capitals of generalism, and I read it as General Zoo. That is good.

I'm just like, no, you fucking idiot. It's Superman fighting General Zoo. Pay attention, you cunt. I guess if Snake Man, except that Snake Man fighting General Zoo, so General Zoo doesn't put all the snakes in the zoo. I get it, dude. I don't even care that my entire city was destroyed. I just hope those snakes are alright.

It's good. For some reason I imagined the two of us in the back of a car and Zamit driving. Screaming. Zamit gets out, but we just stay there. I hope we get picked up by Superman. Put it on the accelerator and just jump out. I hope Snake Man picks us up and puts us with all of his snakes.

I don't like snakes that much, but I guess that would be a good story. Blue, red, yellow. Classic colours of a snake. Could be the colours of a snake. Show me a blue snake. There definitely has got to be one. So let's find one for you. Well, there's a blue-tongued lizard.

Yeah, there you go. Look. No. Blue snake. Gotcha. Blue snake. Red snake would be harder to find. Nah, it's a red-bellied snake. Okay, well, you fucked up. I love Snake Man. Yeah, Snake Man rules. Imagine how disappointed I'd be when I

find out his name is Superman. I'm Superman. What? Do you know Snake Man? You have a brother, Snake Man? No. What? Do you hiss?

What about all the snakes from when General Zoo attacked? I just don't know. Do you mean Zod? I don't think so. What does he look like? A rat? He kind of looks like he could also be Ratman. Yeah, Ratman got a bowl, talked to everyone on TV.

I think he said his name was General Rat. I don't know. I pushed the TV over. I don't like... I couldn't get a fixed... Snakeman? Okay. So, Man of Steel.

Everyone has their own interpretation of what the S means. A lot of people, for some reason, have snake man. Straight up snake man takes off. Hey, I saw this idiot fighting General Zoo from TV on real life. Hashtag snake man. As much as I hate you right now, I think you are correct, though. Not in terms of snake man, but there might be other kind of people calling him something else. Again, at no point in the DCEU do any of the superheroes tell everyone who they are.

So it's all up to interpretation. But Superman's name is published in the Daily Post. Oh, that's true. And I don't think that there would be that much time between the entire city being destroyed and news reporting. Well, evidently not, because at the end of that movie, they're just going for it again. Yeah. And they're like, hey, you look heaps like that guy

that destroyed this building. Come work at this building. Yeah. Which, you know, if you were the general public, it's going to be like you'd absolutely be able to tell that Clark Kent was Superman. No, Clark Kent makes him posture bad and himself sweaty or something, doesn't he? But is being sweaty something he does?

I feel like it is. He makes himself nervous and some people get sweaty when they get nervous. He makes himself clumsy and shit. Yeah. All right, we got to move on. Otherwise, we're going to spend all of our lives here in Man of Steel land. All right, what's next? Quickly, let's have a sidestep to Batman.

Again, we just kind of think that a crazy man is killing more mentally. If you didn't live in Gotham, you would be like, it's crazy no one's done anything about Batman. But if you lived in Gotham, you're like, yeah, this is just Gotham. You'd be like, that makes a lot of sense. Somebody's got to do it. Our cops are garbage. I'd be demanding more money from

like the federal government being like stop shutting down how asylums yeah that is true i'd be like god someone should fix arkham that place is a nightmare everyone keeps breaking out also there was that assuming the um harley quinn story would have been highly published like especially in like tabloids and that kind of stuff because they seem to kind of do this like almost crime spree but they kind of went above and beyond to kind of make themselves really well known so assuming that would have been like all over the newspaper yeah but i feel like only over the newspaper for gotham gotham's so weird and insular that you might have superman sees it on tv oh that's. He does. But Superman works for a newspaper and is shocked to hear about this man. But then everyone else in the room is like,

How do you not know about him, Clark? Are you the dumbest cunt we've ever employed? It's literally across the bay. Also. Literally. Over there. You could swim there. Do you read our newspaper?

You should, because I never published the stuff you write. I just leave a blank and it looks real dumb and probably tanks our sales. It sure does. All right, so you would kind of know about Batman, but if you didn't live in Gotham, you probably wouldn't know much. You'd know about the bat. You'd know about him. You would know about it the same way that you know about, like...

If there was a man in London right now going around beating up criminals with a mask on. Would you know about it? Yes. Yes, but imagine he's been doing it for the last 10 years. You'd still know about it. You'd absolutely know about it. No, you'd know about it, but it wouldn't be interesting anymore.

No. It keeps, like, not getting arrested, so no one knows who it is. Yeah, that'd be fascinating. Hey, think about Banksy. Do you care about banksy anymore yeah but people like that's cool but also everyone knows who banksy is and also banksy ain't punching people i just think he's just shredding his own art and making it more valuable oh i just think eventually we'd stop caring you should have put a bomb in that instead i can't sell ashes Should have had a crossbow behind it Sold

Just kills the Oh my god I'm making a statement about Art and commerce You're killing people Kill the guy Oh man someone give me a mix of Banksy and Batman Kill people

With art that makes statements that are not cool. Well, just have the bat symbol in the sky be like a burning dollar bill. Yeah, and make it be Ronald McDonald smoking a cigar. Or he's got the same face, but he's frowning. Hey guys, well done for creating the Joker. The Joker isn't

Banksy, but Batman. The Joker's not making statements. He's just killing kids. If Banksy killed kids and was like's not making statements. He's just killing kids. If Banksy killed kids and was like, this is about society, then maybe. Yeah. The Dark Night is mostly about Joker making statements. Yeah, yeah. That's the Dark Night,

which is not where we are. Oh, yeah. So sorry. Alright. We're doing Leto Joker. He's a guy. He's just a gangster. Never mind. He's got his teeth punched out maybe. Yeah. Alright, so I guess you know the exploits of like it'd almost be like a

like you know the socialites back in like the 1910s or whatever where they the newspapers report on all their like doing ons. Yeah. It'd kind of be almost like a revert to that but with these kind of like I guess caster characters characters you wouldn't call them heroes no i just think that i think that it would be so removed from us i mean assuming it

depends on where we live here in australia it would just be like yeah that's a crazy thing that happens in gotham and it'd be it'd be like those kind of things you'd be you'd be talking about isn't it crazy that there was someone who was treating a mental patient and then they got acne gassed? Yeah. Also, like, acne juice is a thing? You just fuck your real up hard. I think... But only if you have, like, a sexy swim in it, maybe. Yeah.

Does that mean that Joker had a sexy swim in it by himself? Well, in the comics, Batman punches him into the acne juice. And that's in the Batman first movie as well. That's not sexy swimming. No, he probably just falls in like, what? Also happens in the killing joke except he falls into a puddle instead.

That's weird. It's fun to imagine the Joker just rolling around in a puddle. He's got the red thing on his head. Oh yeah, he's got this red hood. They call him Red Hood even though he looks like a fucking... No, it's just absolutely not a hood. He looks like a dildo.

Red Dildo, they should have called him. The Bat Punch's Red Dildo, Red Dildo, now Super White. Falls in Vat, I guess. All right, so Dawn of Justice rolls around. Okay. What do we, the general public, think is happening in that movie? Well, we hate Super Slash Snake Man. Yeah.

Cannot stand him. He destroyed our city. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. We hate Batman because he's gone crazy and is branding criminals, but the cops love him. So maybe we also hate the cops. That's when we learn that Batman has stepped up his game as the general audience. They're like, he's branding people now.

And there's probably a whole bunch of people. Because Superman realizes that he hates Batman because he sees a news report about how there's a guy that had a brand. He's not even in jail. He's just unconscious. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, here's a quick word from our sponsor.

Also, this Melbourne International Comedy Festival, I'm hosting a dirty little game show called Big Deal. And if you don't come and see it, I'll be pretty cut. Anyway, grab your tickets from sanspantsradio.com forward slash live. We would know about when Lex Luthor blew up that place, or we would know that place blew up, probably blame Superman. Would historians ever find evidence of Atlanteans and Wonder Woman people, Amazonians,

fighting a giant war? Well, I think if they did, Amazonians fighting a giant war. Well, I think if they did, we'd have heard about it. Yeah, but how do they cover that up? The Themyscirians did it with magic, you gotta assume. A wizard sorted it out. Because they're fighting, do they fight with man? Yeah, but like old Arthurian kings. Also what happened thousands of years ago. I know that, but we still have reports and like, you know, like old Arthurian kings. Also what happened thousands of years ago.

I know that, but we still have reports and like, you know, like second or third hand. Yeah, we still know Excalibur was real. Yeah, but like we still have, you know what I mean? Like there's still kind of evidence. Well, maybe the very fact that we know of an Atlantis in real life now is because of that. That's what I mean. Atlantis in real life now is because of that. That's what I mean.

Because of how we know about Atlantis. Yeah. And how kind of we have these like Arthurian tales. Surely there would be tales of this war where we'd be fighting demons from above. Yeah, probably. So guess when the parademons come down. Wait, are the parademons in? No, they're not. Yes.

In Batman v Superman. Yes. Are you sure? No, it's a vision. The parademons are a vision. Batman has a vision. We don't hear about Batman's vision, though, as the general public. I kind of, yeah, that's a...

Wow, we're only on BVS. Cool. Yeah. I guess maybe people would... You're probably not going to associate that with Superman. You're going to think Superman's something else. I mean, some people might. Yeah. Honestly, it's like the stories and myths and legends that we have

They would be different Yeah, probably So strange Because like, that's not that long ago historically It could just be like the Odyssey and stuff like that Yeah, or like Troy Yeah, but like we'd have movies We have movies about Troy

Would there be like an In DCE movie Starring Brad Pitt and Eric Banner about the Atlantis war with parademons? When did that happen, though? Was it 2000 years? No, because it was far longer. Because I remember when the movie came out, I was blown away by the fact that humans were like Arthurian

when, in in fact they should have been cave people yeah so it was basically the times of kings yeah but but in the movie the themyscirans or whatever like this was billions of years ago so maybe we wouldn't have anything of it we should have just been cums yeah we should have just been c cums back then yeah i don't even learn how to walk or to stop being calm yet or is there a point where it's just like yeah we got to that point real early on and then because of these fucks they kind of blasted us quite literally back to the stone probably i i would think that's a pretty reasonable thing to assume okay um so the only real thing that would ever we would notice in batman v superman i think because everything else is quite just happened to them is probably when Doomsday comes out and fights

the city yes spiky Hulk yes I would just yeah I would just be because no one sees the actual titular BVS no all that we would know about unless you were out on the street you'd be like I hate these two guys and now these two guys

seem to hate each other ah General Zoo's back. Damn, it's General Zoo, and he's fighting Snake Man. Someone needs to look after those snakes. You know, you laugh at me for Snake Man, but Batman. So if Batman is my go-to for a superhero, I'm like, they're all animal men, I guess. He has a bee on his chest, though. He kind of looks like a bee if he turns on his side.

He has 20 ears, and he has the little symbol. Superman's outfit's kind of scaly. Anyway, you probably wouldn't know what was going on, really. Again, all of it happened so far away. You think Superman blew up a court? Yeah, that's true. Superman blows up a court and then fights Batman in a field. They blow up

an island at one point. There would just be too many people for me to be able to tell what was going on. There'd be a lot of conspiracy theories going on. I'd just be like, I guess this is the worst terrorism attack the world has ever seen. Yeah. Instigated by

Snake Man, Batman, a girl, and a spiky Hulk. Yeah. And then Superman dies, and then I'm jazzed. Yeah. Woo! I'm happy, but then the military give him, like, a military funeral. The government give him a military funeral.

I'd be very sucked. No. I forgot. We know aliens exist, so we probably know what's happened with Doom. So we're like, oh, God, big alien. Oh, that's true. Like, oh, man, that last time we got aliens but humans, now we're getting aliens but aliens. Also, Superman is shown

in that movie to go and save the day periodically. Yeah. And everyone is like, gives big S's to be like, Snake Man, help! We're flooding! Save the day, Snake Man! You're like depressed Jesus, but can fly. Yeah. Let me be a skull and touch you. So I guess we'd be like depressed Jesus, but can fly. Yeah. Let me be a skull and touch you.

So I guess we'd be like, look, I'm annoyed. I guess we'd be like, look, I'm annoyed at Superman for the events of Man of Steel, but he has been saving the day. And there's that statue of him. Yeah. So we know Superman exists. We know he's a top bloke. We know his name is Superman, not Snake Man. We don't blame him for destroying Metropolis for some reason,

because I'm guessing this wonderful Clark Kent, who's writing all these positive articles about Superman. Is it kind of like if, say, if J. Jonah Jameson had taken the stance of Spider-Man's lovely, and everyone would be like, yeah, Spider-Man. So basically, instead of being a photographer, Peter Parker should have been a reporter. The statues and stuff like that happen after Superman's death.

No, not the big one. Remember, because old wheelie mate, he climbs it and draws, like, false guard. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. And cops are like, that's graffiti on the property of the- So we love Superman. Or hate him. Well, the public loves Superman.

We three can make our decision. No, because there's, like, graffiti and movements and stuff against him. Some people hate him, some people hate him. Well, the public loves Superman. We three can make our decision. No, because if because there's like graffiti and movements and stuff Some people hate him, some people love him. Yeah. Yeah. It'd just be up to us what we felt which, if that's the case, if we like Superman, when we see the events of Batman v Superman we're like, it's great that Superman's fighting all

of these bad blokes. Oh, yeah. He died? What? I can't wait to go to his funeral. I like to imagine you at this point you still haven't caught on that it's Superman, not Snake Man, and you throw rats on his grave. You lied to me. He just did it, Jackson. He just did it. Eat these rats. I think I've just become a conspiracy theorist.

Eat these rats in heaven. I think it's just too much. Because if an event this big happened It's hard to have conspiracy theories I don't know A ship has come This alien thing An alien comes in

They destroy Metropolis And then he dies Then he comes back Are they trying to take my guns away? I don't know. No, because I don't think it'll be... It's just like too much. Yeah, I know what you mean.

Like, you just assume... The only conspiracy theory is like, ah, it's end of days. This is the apocalypse. Yeah, no, I'm with you. I'd be like, I guess the world's ending. Cool. I'd think this is a government conspiracy to try and do something. Let me try and imagine what that would be.

To experiment on prisoners. Okay. Give them, for some reason, and maybe to take my... It's always about taking my guns away. Well, Suicide Squad happens next. So experimenting on prisoners, maybe that'll... Maybe you're not wrong there. See what I mean?

It's just like, okay. Well, then they put together... But then also the public must hate Superman because they put together... The government... Amanda Waller hates Superman. She's like, what if he killed our president? But he's dead.

I put together a team of highly trained criminals. Why? Are you an idiot, Amanda Waller? You are a dumb idiot. Well, Suicide Squad, we don't even probably know. That's probably a blank. They go to an empty city, fight demons. We are in that city, they're like, we gotta evacuate you. We're like, goddammit,

is this another snake man? And then we leave. But a lot of people die, like civilians. When? They become the party boys. They turn into rock monsters, remember? Yeah. Are they civilians? Yeah, they were just folk. Oh. So we come back and they're like, Sorry, your grandma became a rock monster And tried to kill Harley Quinn

And we're like, who? I don't believe you I'd be like, a black ops situation happened And the government are doing something And I don't know what Presumably Suicide Squad is where this conspiracy theory is going to start Yes, but before that, no

Nah, I'd be so on the I would be such a conspiracy theorist I think it's just like, it's too Because if they It depends if they're open about it or not Because if the government came out And were like, yes, aliens exist I'd be so on the... I would be such a conspiracy theorist. I think it's just like, it's too... Because if they... It depends if they're open about it or not. Because if the government came out and were like, yes, aliens exist, I'd be like, well... Alright. You're probably not hiding anything, because that's a fucked thing to make an announcement about.

It just seemed to... Because, like, the... Yeah, the aliens exist, and they've given this alien a state funeral. Yeah, but he's also saved the day, hoops. So I'd be like, I guess. Just be like, he's just like... But he blew up a congress even though you said it wasn't him i'm still suspicious i think i would oh wait no that's

right because the movie makes it seem like that he blew it up but then straight away the next report is like uh the the person who did it was the guy in the wheelchair but it's fucked that superman didn't stop him or like didn't try or didn't notice the bomb or whatever so they don't blame superman they're just like oh he's sloppy now he doesn't care about us yeah and plus eventually they put lex luther in jail and they're like he did it all and i'd be like okay i guess that makes sense then batman goes and punches the wall yeah forget that i feel like it's crazy they just let anyway makes a league of their own yeah um so suicide squad we would not know what happened because we just get ejected from the city and then when we're let back in, they'll be like,

I'm sorry, whatever happened in the city. We would have seen the big blue spirally thing in the sky. Maybe, depending on where they put us. Yeah, but I think it'd be hard to miss. Yeah. Someone's seeing that. I would assume they let us out, a bomb dropped or something and then they brought us back in and they're like,

sorry, everyone died that wasn't with you. And I be like well i'd be like see they're experimenting on like people and like one of their experiments went wrong and this is them trying to clean up i think it would just be the i would just assume that the world war three has started but the government is trying to hide that yeah yeah yeah yeah potentially if um say, if Justice League had happened first, I'd be like, yeah, because Russia got dunked pretty hard. Yeah. And so if there was a bomb on American soil, then I'd be like, ah, yes, the Ruskies are retaliating for whatever we or how it happened. What's the time period between Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, and Suicide Squad? Over the course of how many years does that take place?

Not many, but- A month and a half, I want to say. Wish I had an answer for you, but the movies don't even know. It's very quick. Man of Steel and BVS kind of happen almost like- Well, they've got to clean up the city. Let's be generous. Let's be generous and say over the course of three years. Okay? I don't think that's right, but let's be generous let's be generous and say over the course of three years

okay i think i don't think that's right but let's be generous to them i think it's like a less than a year well we could be like look if we're gonna be generous like jackson said just assume the gap between the films which i think was three years yeah so three years whatever happens in suicide squad i'm like it's just another Snake Man fight. But Suicide Squad happens while Superman is dead. Oh, that's true. Wait, what do we know about the, not the Suicide Squad, but what do we know about the people who can make this? Because like Boomerang, he robbed every single bank in Australia. That's making news.

We know about that. Twice, didn't he? Didn't he do it twice? We'd be like, it's crazy. That man was literally the greatest criminal ever known. Why is he in our jail? Why did we knock at him?

Every Australian, when he comes in, we're like, hey, we're going to make him think he robs everything because he's a bit of a dickhead. But we have to assume that we live within the realm of this universe where Australia is Hollywood Australia which means that every bank is probably like 10 banks

do you know what I mean? And every bank is guarded by a bloke in just board shorts holding a hat and a surfboard. Oi Cobber you can't go with, oh bloody hell you bloody did it. Oh yeah hey hey hey hey you can't rob this, but I've got a boomerang.

Oh! That's Australia's most deadly weapon. Oh, he better not have a red back on him. So we're probably just like... Our government banned guns and now we're soft cocks. So it's great... See what happens? Bloody Australia ban's gone and one man with one boomerang

Can rob every bank No one's taking your guns You don't even have guns You got no guns to take Nobody's even talking about it I reckon they're taking my guns It's good if you swap it around And me, like, you driving

Me and Zamet screaming at each other in the back There's no snake man They're not taking your guns. Explain boomerang then. Guys, guys, guys. He might be half snake man. And what if they're trying to give us guns? This is why we need to be all three of us.

Tusha tempers our fury at one another. Ah, yes. Guns to stop snake man. Yes, yes, guns to stop snake man. Ah, yes, half snake man. It might be super snake man. Oh, what if it is? Double S. Because if you make a snake so powerful it becomes a man, maybe it doesn't have any snake traits anymore,

but it was once a snake. Good point. Thank you, Joel Dusha. That's a good point. They're trying to militarize everyone, trying to make you less clever, Joel Zammett, because you have a gun, but now everyone else will have a gun. If everyone has guns, then nobody does.

So they're not taking my gun away. If everybody has guns, no one does. Wow. All right, so Suicide Squad. What I mean is, like, we would know a lot about them. As in, like, we'd know about Deadshot. We'd know about Harley Quinn. We'd know about.

We'd know about Harley Quinn. Yeah. We probably wouldn't know about Deadshot. Because he's just an assassin. Do you know about, like, Hitman? But, yeah. Name one Hitman you know about. Like a famous Hitman.

Yeah. I don't know if that even exists. Yeah, exactly. Oh, Hitman. Okay. This, Hitman. Okay. This might be dumb, but the Hitman that we get in, like, the game Hitman and the movies, like a paid assassin, are they real? Yeah, Woody Harrelson's dad was a Hitman.

I just don't think it exists. Because, like, I know there's been stuff on, like, people trying to hire Hitman and then they end up getting stung by the cops. Yeah, that's because they try and hire hitmen from the deep web where it's all fucking... Yeah, hitmen are a real thing. They're not glamorous, but there are people who kill for money. Here's a little tip for everyone who's listening to podcasts.

Everyone on the deep web, all cops. Yeah, absolutely. Don't try and hire a hitman. Kill them yourself, you get it. Hitmen exist, they're just not glamorous. Well, the thing is, he'd been arrested. Yeah. So there'd be like a police report He would have gone to the courts Someone would have been like

He got arrested by Batman, didn't he? I don't think much of it would be publicised The one guy we might know about is the guy that can breathe fire No, because he got arrested After he killed his family Yeah, but he always had the power, didn't he? Yeah, but no one knew he breathed fire Everyone just assumed he was an arsonist.

We just might not know anything. We might know about Harley Quinn, that's it. Harley Quinn, definitely, because we know who the Joker was. What about Croc Boy? He's quite literally a crocodile. Yeah, but he keeps to himself. Like, that would be like an urban myth. Yeah, yeah.

Like, hey, there's a bloke that lives in the sewer. I'd be like, I don't care. Well, because, again, it's a government... Wait. Shut up. Is it a government-funded prison? What, Arkham? No, Blackwater.

I don't know. I'm not sure. Like, because, again, there'd be reporters and that kind of stuff if they went in there. I just think you don't know about every criminal that exists in the world. I know, but there'd be like a docu- like a docu-series that came in. If there was like a- like, say, a Louis Th louis thoreau documentary document what am i trying to say here

like like a louis thoreau documentary where they go into blackwater or arkham and they're like these are the criminals yeah and then suddenly you see a like a crocodile man you're like that's you might know about any ones that are batman villains that are interesting batman villains yeah i mean we know who the head of the KKK is. Yeah. So maybe we would know about... But you wouldn't know about it in any, like, big way. You would just be like, oh, yeah, that is a criminal.

Like, if David Duke walked in here, I wouldn't be like, oh, my God, it's David Duke. I'd be like, who is this guy? How did he get here? Yeah, but if David Duke was a crocodile, I'd be like, ah, a crocodile man. Like that crocodile man. Nearly every...

Like that crocodile man nearly every like that crocodile i just think every single um every every batman villain would or or even villain would just be like a today i learned on the subreddit today i learned today i learned that in black black gate prison there is a hitman who's never missed a shot or something. You'd be like, oh, okay. And then the top comment would be like, well, he must have missed one shot which was Batman punching him in the jail. And then there'd be an edit being like, oh my god, didn't expect this comment to do so well.

Thanks for the gold. Edit three. Thanks so much. Oh my god, gold three times? I've told my mum about this. They're like, why do I browse this website? Bring back Snake Man. I go to ask Snake Man because I miss him so much.

Top post was sort of like 209 days ago. It was you. Hey guys, just trying to start some discussion about Snake Man. Does anyone else miss him? Can someone tell me your favorite Snake Man moments? No comments yet.

No comments, one downvote. Aww. Then I realized it was accidentally me. Damn it. Alright, so now we get to the big boys. Justice League. Dawn of Justice, or whatever it's called. Justice League, the league is here, the big leagues.

It's actually called Justice League. league justice league justice time um yes so power demons turn up yes but they turn up in a different like they turn up in russia yeah or like well batman fights one in um yeah but we don't see a criminal sees it yeah but that means they must be around they might just be like popping up like one they're like scouts yeah yeah they're popping up and when people are afraid so it might just be people could be like i was so scared i thought i saw a demon yeah are these demons killing people what are they doing yeah i think they kill people probably are they they're around regardless i'm i would be like oh yeah another alien like enough's happened over such a short period of time that i would be like, oh, yeah, another alien. Like, enough's happened over such a short period of time

that I would be bored of it at this point. Like I am with the movies. I'd be like, ah, more bullshit. Yeah, cool. Well, I think that this is going to lean very much into how we currently are, where we'll have, like, a hazy memory of the events. Yeah.

All right, so if you know... Metropolis being destroyed would stick with me. It would be like, no one forgets 9-11 never forget so you would remember Metropolis, you would remember that aliens exist you would remember that brief period of time

where everyone thought Snake Man was around but then he disappeared I'll imagine you just have a framed picture of a snake and it says Snake Man. I'm like, what happened to Snake Man? He was trying to save our goddess? It's great if you imagine, you know, with a, like, false god or whatever over the Superman statue. I just rub it out and write, what happened to Snake Man?

Snake God. What happened to Snake God? Would that affect you as your day-to-day life, living like who you are? Would that affect you knowing that, say, aliens exist 100% for real and they kind of hate us? I would be very scared all the time. If over the last four years, four cities have been destroyed, I would just be like, I always need to be on guard and I might move to the country. You see, I'd be that kind of like London during the Blitz. I think I would become even more cavalier with my life.

I just wouldn't care. I'd be like, whatever. We only get one chance. And I have no control over an alien landing on my house. Fuck it. We've all taken stances that I would not have expected us to take. Because I just live my life normally. Because if someone was like, hey, aliens exist and they hate you,

I'd be like, join the fucking fucking queue should see the emails we get if if if i know that superman saves people then maybe i wouldn't care as well because i'd be like oh no superman's got this snake man's got this i'm so sorry i mean yeah there'll be this kind of thing like well i'm sure someone's got it worked out it's like a weird version of the bystander effect where you're like well i know i can do nothing about it so yeah i'll just let superman take care of it because literally he's the only one who can't he's dead uh he'll be back i might become depending what like lex luther does like if lex luther ended up starting like say like a youtube series where he was trying to indoctrinate people to be like fuck aliens humanity is great maybe i'd join that cult yeah i could i i could get behind it i guess i mean i love snake man too much i'm too much of a snake man stan yeah but

snake man's dead you don't know what happened to him i'm in mourning other piece of shit superman came up and he's like replace snake man that's That's good, because Snake Man Stan, I'd be like, hey, Jackson, what does SMS stand for? Like, Snake Man Stan. You know, that's why I hashtag it all the time. SMS, hashtag SMS. So, parademons, I guess, maybe we would be aware of. Where do they attack, or where does Steppenwolf... Appear.

Appear, or have does Steppenwolf appear? The sewers of Gotham. No, no, no. It's Eastern Europe, yeah? He boom tubes to Atlantis. He boom tubes behind a building at one point. Great bit of cinema. Hey, boom tubes around, but the big events that we would visibly see are in Metropolis Gotham. That's basically it.

Because we don't see the little stuff. There's a lot of ships still in the middle of the fucking thing. Yeah. We don't see the big little stuff. The little stuff doesn't concern us. I'm talking about that big power plant. Where is that? That's in Metropolis. No. Because it's Star Labs.

No, not that. The power plant where all the end fight comes. Oh, that's somewhere in Russia. It is Russia? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Wait, so Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman fight Doomsday in Russia? Yeah. Yeah.

No, Doomsday comes out of the fucking ship. No, not Doomsday. No, not Doomsday. Steppenwolf. Steppenwolf. They fight him in Russia. Because they go to the house where the plants are attacking. Yeah. And then they go and fight him. They go to the house where the plants are attacking. Yeah.

And then they go and fight him. They go to the house and there's that family living in there. And Parademon's like, damn this fragile wooden glass. Yeah. There's people afraid in there. We want them. Wooden glass. Wood and glass.

But before we even get to that, Superman comes back. Yes. That's a thing we could see. Yes. How do they get to that, Superman comes back. Yes. That's a thing we could see. Yes. How do they get to Russia? Superman fights cops. Yeah, he does. Superman also fights the other heroes.

Also, Flash is around. Oh, yeah, Flash is a thing. He's a red streak. I wouldn't know what was happening. I would just assume it's Snake Man again. Yeah. Snake Man's back. Snake Man's back, and he's quick this time, like a viper.

Snake Man's become Viper Man. And Aqualad's there. Yeah, but we don't know a shit about Aquaman because we're not one Norwegian village. And he's got a trident. Yeah, I would be like, cool, they got a muscly guy. Neat, I guess. But this fight, like, apart from the fight where they just bring Superman back to life and Superman fight, I'd assume that they're the bad guys if I assumed that Superman was the good guy.

Yeah, true. I mean, like, Snake Man's going to kill these bad guys because one guy's Red Streak. I don't know. I've never heard of that guy. Muscly Man. Batman, whom I think I still hate, but I can't remember. Yeah, and I kind of remember the rumors about a Roman Centurion lady from World War I. Cool.

And then when they kill Super... Her descendant? Yeah. Oh, yeah, cool. This is her kid or whatever. Because at this point, we do know that camera phones exist and the internet exists because we've got that sweet intro of Superman at the start being... Denying to be on a podcast, right?

Requesting to be... Well, kids requesting to be on a podcast, which Superman Requesting to be... Well, kids requesting to be on a podcast, which Superman never does. Rude. Sorry, kid, I'm going to die. Which is a great excuse to get out of going to a podcast. Killing yourself. Yeah. So, yeah.

So, I'm assuming that fight happens roughly around mid-morning. Yeah. So, there'll be people around filming that. Surely, surely we see it. That'll be online. And then... So you'll be like, okay, they've brought him back from the dead. Cool.

Cool. To be honest, I might think it was Ratman. Oh, no, I know what Snake Man looks like. Just because they're where Ratman's body was. He's wearing... Oh, yeah, and plus he's wearing Ratman's uniform. Yeah, he's... I'd be like, General Zoo's back.

Oh, no, General Zoo. He's going to put all the... Got rid of his bowl cut. The snakes in the zoo. Because I wouldn't- because Doomsday, I would not put one and one together to get that is General Zoo. Yeah. What's really weird about all of the DCEU movies is that so few of the scenes are things

we see as the general public. We just see, like, the big fights, and that's kind of it. Yeah. Well, and we also kind of don't, because they to course correct like so this is like meta shit that doesn't bother plumb in the death star usually but because man of steel everyone was like you killed a lot of people and then that to course correct in the films it means that almost every single battle takes place in an empty city yeah which means that we might just be like oh is something happening right yeah because doomsday happens,

but we cleared literally everyone. And as much that doesn't make sense, we have to assume that it did. Yeah, because they said, like, they, I mean... They cleared that out completely. So I guess we're being evacuated a lot. Yeah. And we don't know why.

It's a lot of evacuation. Probably because they're trying to take our guns. They're trying to give us guns! Because if everyone has guns Then no one does You're right so actually a lot of the fights And any of the other big fights take place in an abandoned Fucking Power plant or magic cities

Yeah And Russia's an abandoned town Yeah so we just don't know We just we There might be reports there There's some weird plants now growing here. Yeah. We, the general public, only know about superheroes or any of the DC heroes from Man of Steel, Batman vs.

No, from Man of Steel and the internet. Yeah. We know from Man of Steel and then rumors of stuff that happened. That's crazy. Yeah, because a lot of the stuff either, you have to be on the outskirts looking in. You'd have to, there's a chance you could experience one or two of these events if you're really unlucky. Like, if you move from Metropolis to Mid-City, they need cop two.

But you wouldn't even really cop the Suicide Squad one. No, you just know that something bad happened. But again, you just assume that it was like a war or something. Yeah, I would just- But I guess you know aliens, like, they don't hide that aliens exist. Yeah, I would assume it was I guess you know aliens, like, they don't hide that aliens exist. Yeah, I would assume it was all the Zod aliens, probably.

Yeah. Just because I have no evidence otherwise and they're the only aliens I know of. So I guess up until the end of Justice League, I guess, I threw this out before

but it was like a passing comment. I think you would just assume that we were currently in the state of like a World War III but it was like a- Like Earth v-

Less of a World War more of a Galactic War? Yeah. Earth v. Zod World. Earth v. The General Zoo. Space Zoo. like a like less of a world war more of a galactic war yeah earth v zod world earth v the general zoo space zoo yeah but you genuinely would because even in justice league they there's nobody in the the really in the fight in the background with um but yeah that said why would there be no like you know join the the Earth Army? Well, I would assume that it was because we had Snake Man. Yeah, and because the attacks were so limited.

Because if it's a small-scale stuff... Because if it's a small-scale, like, stuff with, like, big, like, attacks, but relatively small-ish attacks, then they might need it, because I'd just be like, well, they've already got an army. Yeah, exactly. They've had a big army for ages and haven't really been doing much. I'd just join the army. Give the aliens a bit of what they want. They can't take your guns away if you're in the army. Exactly. Maybe I'll be like, experiment on me.

Give me that super juice. I'll drink Superman blood. I don't give a shit. Excuse me, sir. There's no such thing as super juice in this universe. You might be thinking of a fictional film that exists in this universe called captain america oh give me that acme juice then yeah just take a swim in this bar does it have to be sexy yeah all right can you join me no it's weird yeah your context for any superhero event would be i know batman fights like what is i would effectively assume is like a circus mafia in gotham um and i know that general zoo attack that's it and that aliens exist the big thing is

that aliens exist but then you'd know aliens exist and they kind of can't also parademons i would assume a general zoo's army yeah exactly it's the same thing yeah if i saw one would i see steppenwolf probably not ever and even if you did you would just assume that it's yeah yeah yeah because it's it's humanoid so you're just like these are all from the same fucking thing yeah who cares yeah assume it's all the same war all right so justice league finishes but i don't know what happened yeah do they get reports i guess in like an abandoned town in Russia has gotten pretty. I just don't even know if we'd get them. It's so isolated.

Yeah, and there's no one filming or seeing the Justice League as they were. Imagine there was a bloom of really exotic, unique, rare flowers in a Russian town somewhere. I wouldn't know. It's not going to reach us. If there was exotic flowers three suburbs town somewhere. I wouldn't know. It's not going to reach us. If there was exotic flowers like three suburbs over, I probably wouldn't know. Yeah, absolutely. I don't follow the hashtag exotic flowers on Twitter.

Maybe I should. Maybe. They might be pretty. Alright, so we learn literally nothing from Justice League. We just might learn that there are things happening and we just... And we already know who the Flash is, presumably, because he arrested Captain Boomerang, which means he's already being a vigilante, which doesn't line up with his character, and that's funny.

Yeah, that's true. Alright, so we know- Can you imagine the Flash in Justice League fighting crime? Because I can't. Oh, no. He doesn't know how to- Somehow that movie, like, positions him as someone who's been doing it for a long time, but also someone who this is their first time ever. He is clearly not a man that looks crime in the eye

and tries to arrest it. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Does he just stop stuff by running fast and getting in the way first? Yes. Yeah, I think so. But then why does he arrest Captain Boomerang? And why does Captain Boomerang care? I don't... I don't know. I feel like Captain Boomerang could just leave. Flash would what? Just follow

him? Yeah, I know. Cool, but then what? Well, he's got lightning powers. Yeah, but has he... He doesn't... He doesn't have lightning powers, does him? Yeah, I know. Then what? He's got lightning powers. Yeah, but has he... He doesn't have lightning powers. Sort of. It's like little sparks come off him. It looks like lightning. But he doesn't zap you.

He could pick you up, I guess. Doesn't that happen? No. It's not electric. He looks a little electric. He's got electric stuff coming off him, but he can't give you an electric shock. It's very hard to imagine one concise

universe where all of these things happen. Because it just seems he runs and then he touches Superman, he's sparked him a bit. Did he? Yeah. Did you bring him back? No, he sparked a box. He sparked a box, which is already kind of, like, electric. But maybe you're right. I don't know. Anyway,

it just seems whenever he enters the room, like, the whole room goes, like, and there's a lot of commotion. Is there? I'll take your word for it. Look. Because I don't remember that at all. No, I remember it because it's static electricity or something. And then, like, papers and shit are all over the place.

But I think that's just him. Maybe Boomerang is scared. I mean, if you sonic boom a room, then stuff's going to happen, yeah. I don't think it's electric powers, but maybe. Maybe it's like sonic... But he's a little sparkly. Yeah, I know he's got the sparks, but I think that's just weird effect. I think they're just like, this looks cool.

They spend all their effects money on that and not making him be able to run properly. All right. Doesn't he time up, though? Like, he just wraps a big cord around him. Yeah. Maybe. Well, that makes sense. Yeah.

All right. Aquaman. Okay. Well, Aquaman. Everyone's like, who is Aquaman? And there's one, I guess, specialist who's a bit crazy, who I assume I would be in this universe. But more of a- Are they upset about guns?

No, but I would definitely be upset about guns. I would be like, Aquaman is the tip of the iceberg. There is more of this. And are they trying to take out guns? From the sea this time. From the sea. So everyone's like, who is this Aquaman and they've got like a silhouette the best thing on this is there's like

a um a photo like a clipping from a newspaper with like a silhouette of clearly Jason Momoa yeah and they're like who is Aquaman but it's like they clearly would have had to have had the image of Aquaman to take them like get the silhouette.

You know, desaturated or whatever to make it just a black outline. Yeah. And be like, who is this mystery person? So, I guess maybe there is a shot in like a bar where like some big, you know, gruff people come in and be like, hey, you're that Aqua boy. And he's like, yes. He's like, can I take a selfie? And they take a selfie. And the big biker man has a pink phone because...

I guess that's... A comedy. That's what a joke looks like. Yeah. Sure. That's weird that... So, the general... That joke's in Thor as well, but not the phone joke,

just the selfie joke. Yeah. Thor 3. People think selfies are funny. They are pretty funny. Imagine asking a guy for a selfie. It was very good in The Hunt for the Wilderpeople. Just saying.

Anyway. That's another movie reference for you. They're coming freaking fast. So people are like, who is this Aquaman? But people know who Aquaman is. Yeah. And they know where he lives. I would be baffled by a seaman.

That might be when I cut my losses And go home I guess like Heel man Dude that's so cool He's Maori in this So I guess a super Maori Cool I guess That's pretty good

I feel like the seaboy would be the one That you actually care about This would be the first time you actually give a shit I'd tear down all my snake man material So in the film I feel like the sea boy would be the one that you actually care about. This would be the first time you actually give a shit. Yeah. I'd tear down all my snake man material. So in the film, so some context, so there is this big tidal wave that happens, which is the ocean lord or master or whatever his stupid name is, being like, let's give the earth boys back their rubbish

and kind of just like big tidal waves happen and like rubbish and ships and whatever crash. People are going, what a crazy event! And then the people are like, that was the Atlanteans. And everyone's like, no, it wasn't. I hope they're like, wow, what a crazy event. We've got to clean up. And they just broom all this stuff back into the sea.

Oh, much better. There's a fight in... If they wanted to do that, there should have just been communication because we've got bins. Yeah, exactly. Put bins on on the shore drop it in there perfect easy done you're a fucking idiot ocean master yes what kind of a name is ocean master anyway oh it's stupid uh i'm trying to think of the events of aquaman i guess there's a big fight with um takes place in both the past and the present. No. Yes. No. Yes.

No. Yes, because he's not conceived at the start of the film. There's, like, little flashbacks, but that's... Like, it's flashbacks. They're so insignificant to what the general public know. But if a man... There's no big fights. But if you...

Okay, even if you live in a town where there is a lighthouse keeper, and then all of a sudden he's with a redhead lady, and then... She's not there for that long. Evidently nine months. But there's a very small attack.

It's just... No one seems to notice. I get what you mean. If I lived in a small town and I'm like, hey, there's some people fighting that lighthouse. I agree with you. There's something there. And yes, there is probably rumors because, you know, Aquaman's father keeps going to the pier every day to be like, I miss my sea lady. I'd be like, that's crazy.

And also Aquaman the baby gets left with lighthouse keeper, right? Yeah. So, like... I just assumed there was a weird dalliance that happened with the light. I'd be like, that's the lighthouse man's business, not my own. Also, I wouldn't assume a sea lady. I'd just be like, I guess he's a single dad now. Yeah, I'd be like, I guess he was with the ladies.

And maybe he goes out and looks at the ocean because his mother of a child died in a drowning accident. I'd be like, damn, it is so sad that the lighthouse keeper is so sad, basically. I would not assume sea people. So is there any fights that are on land that people would probably see? Yeah, there's like the one in Sicily with Black Panther and he's

shooting eye beams. Oh yeah, gosh. And he's got this big fat head and maybe I'd be like, ah, I guess Snakeman's back and he's got a helmet. Cool ass. It's Snakeman and his snake army. Yeah, Snakeman is fighting Super Maori and his red-headed friend. I definitely

wouldn't assume that Jason Momoa was a superhero. Because he doesn't seem like he has powers. He can jump pretty good. Nah, it's reported that he's got powers, I think. Everyone seems to know him. It's weird that out of everyone, it seems like he's the most reported on. Yeah.

Even though he's the most just a guy. He's very boring at first glance. Because people do know him. I guess that's the weirdest part about the entire DCEU, is that somehow, and obviously it's just atrocious writing but you've got to take it as part of the universe somehow everybody knows that all of these characters exist and everybody's just aware of their power set well i think you're correct it's just it just seems maybe that the dceu the world in which everyone lives in is so disconnected

yeah because there are some people that know what's going on and there are people that just have no idea. I feel it's a world with so much miscommunication between, well, you know, just everybody because no one seems to know what the fuck is going on. I wouldn't trust the media. That I think is my conspiracy theory after all of this. I wouldn't trust the media. That, I think, is my conspiracy theory after all of this. And I think I would just be like, I can never, ever, ever trust the media, read the news or anything, because they clearly know everything, but are not reporting everything. Like, who is this Aquaman?

But I was like, that's clearly a photo of him. Yeah. So you know. Yeah. You know who this guy is. Is Superman a menace? Well, he blew up Metropolis. So yes. You know, islantis a real

place well yeah because aquaman yeah he can breathe underwater that's i know that batman's been branding things because you're using a bat brand and also you're reporting on it and yeah we know that the cops can't also work with him because that's also on foot what are you guys doing the media it it's funny that yeah like, like, at the end of the day, maybe it's like a rise of, like, citizen journalism a lot more. I guess that's pretty good. That's a good thing to get out of all of this. I think it just annoys me that I couldn't assume

that it was Snake Man because the media would be so, like... Although you wouldn't trust the media because of everything that's happened, which means you might be like, no, no, no, this is Snake Man. They don't know, I know, definitely Snake Man. And you might get a giant following of like, what happened to Snake Man? Hashtag, what happened to Snake Man? Did he die?

And then, did he die? Oh, now he is in Sicily with eye beams and he's become... He's wearing a big black hood. I might just assume everyone was snake men. Snake men's. Yeah. And snake woman. So in terms of what does the general public know about

the DCU? I guess just not much. Or a lot. Or everything. A surprising amount but not the obvious stuff. They know way more than they should. Yeah. But not enough at the same time. I think the one thing that we can take away

that everyone would know is that aliens exist. Yeah. Although could you then be like no it is a government conspiracy and they're just experimenting on prisoners and then that's why they have powers. You could apparently.

I just think... I'm just trying to think of weird conspiracy theories and the long bows that they tend to draw. I think I would just absolutely be like, it's aliens and also the world is ending. Yeah, I'd be like, it's end of days. That's what they're hiding from us. That's why the news is reporting on stuff, but not. Maybe I'll become religious.

Yeah, look, true. Maybe I'll try and find God. I'm going to drown myself. All right. Beat them to it. I'm going to find Atlantis the easy way. I'm going to continually refresh our snake head. No, I think I would just be like,

I'd probably become an investigative journalist and be like, guys, I'd become the new Louis Thoreau. Jolly Thoreau. Why did you take that last name? Because we got married. Okay, I'm sorry. That makes a lot of sense. When everyone's reporting the news,

then there's no one. Then no one is. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've been also Joel. This episode was long, and I hope you enjoyed getting furious, everyone. Thank you for joining us.

Goodbye. you can find us individually I'm at douche13 I'm at olddogthedad and I'm at goddammitzammit if you want to hear our other shows you can head to sanspantsradio.com and you'll find all our other content there there's heaps

and if you want to support us head to sanspantsplus.com thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time

goodnight for now but not forever kisses