Plumbing the Death Star - What Fictional Robot Would You Send Back in Time to Protect the Connors?

Episode Date: April 21, 2024

Sure Kyle Reese and that old T-800 were good and all and did a fine job, but in the history of media surely there are better bots that could have protected those Connors! JD puts forward a robot that can do it all, Zammit delves into history to choose the very first robot that is an army into itself and Jackson has an interesting definition of the word save. From ensuring that John Connor is born, to repeatedly running into the skin issue, choosing the perfect robot to help save humanity from that awful Skynet and the robopocalypse is a lot harder than it looks. A lot is riding on this silly little machines.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sandspant Network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the important questions like what fictional robot would you send back in time to protect the Conners, John and or Sarah.

In the first one, they send back the father of John Connor because he does the thing that you should never do and fall in love with the person who did it. You can't be doing that. Kyle Reese, yeah? Yeah, Kyle Reese, who's not a robot. He's a man with cum in his nuts. And that's why you shouldn't send back a man with cum in his nuts.

And then he cums those nuts. And that's how you get a John Connor. John Connor's born. And so then you've got to be like, okay, that was a problem. We sent a man to do a robot job. So then they send back a robot. And the robot, well, the robot protected John Connor. And then they go, right, that robot's doing a good job.

And then I forget, I forget. But then John Connor gets shot again. And so then we're like, damn. So then we had another robot. And then they send back that robot again. They send that robot back that protected him to kill John Connor. Which timeline do you want to go with? Yeah, I know.

It's so beautiful. Because with the Terminator franchise, it's like, makes sense. Makes sense. Losing it. Losing it. What's going on? Three timelines. Because there's-

Freaking- Is it Nick Starr? Yeah, John Connor. Yeah, so Terminator 3. Terminator 3, Rise of Machines. Yes. John Connor survives that. Okay.

Sarah is dead. She's already passed away because the machine, the rise of the machine hasn't happened, but it's going to happen. It got delayed. It didn't get stopped yet. It was just delayed. The twist for the movie is that John Connor doesn't die,

but the world still does get nuked. And he's in the situation room to be like, I'm connecting on the bikes. And his abs are the situation. That's a little Jersey Shore reference for you. And then we've got Salvation. Yeah. With Australia's own Sam Worthington.

That's true. And Salvation, who can remember? But in Terminator 2, is our robot replacing Arnie? Yes. Now. So it's Terminator 2. So we're going back in time to protect John. Yes.

And I guess a bit Sarah. But that's a bit later on. And also my next question is, if it is Terminator 2, I mean it could just be a generic one, but if it is Terminator 2, does our robot also need to bond with the boy? John Connor. I know his name.

I like the way you said the boy. The boy. It's kind of like I'm a. Do you need to bond with the boy. John Connor. I know his name. I like the way you said the boy. The boy. It's kind of like I'm a wealthy distant father and I need to deliver some bad news to my son. Where's the boy? Bring me the boy. You will not inherit my mansion, Jonathan. Yes, father. I've given all of my money to this dog.

The dog is your father now, Jonathan. Woof. He agrees with me. He believes it to be a sound decision, Jonathan. Woof, woof. Out of my sight, Jonathan. Woof. I need to take care of the dog, father.

No, and I, because the money is my dog's, am about to be destitute. I have nary a throppens in my bank account, Jonathan. The dog owns the manor, the grounds, the servants, and I will live on the street. There is a taxi cab coming for me in the morning. Good luck. Good dog.

The dog is yet to be named. I leave that to the dog. Be gone, Jonathan. Some strange stuff happening in that house. Rich people are crazy. Rich people be doing bonkers shit. Okay, father. But yes, so does it need to basically hit the points?

Well, look, you can choose if it's protecting Sarah or John, whatever you'd like to do. And you know what? If it bonds with the boy and or mother, that's up to you. That's fabulous stuff. Yeah, as long as it protect. Yep. Uh-huh.

And stop judgmentgment day I guess Okay Oh so that's part of it too I just said no one likes Protect But It's like you can protect Well judgment day is stopped by

Yeah John Connor not being Killed Yeah so by yeah By keeping John Connor alive You've stopped judgment day Okay fabulous It's kind of like

Protect Protect Excuse me Protect To Yes The Conners And then anything else is gravy You know Yeah It's kind of like Protect Protect Excuse me Protect To Yes The Conners And then anything else is gravy

You know Yeah You stop Judgment Day You bond with the boy You get a funny going down In the lava thumb up Yep That's wonderful

That's all good That's truly delightful If that happens Absolutely delightful But it's not necessary It's not necessary You just gotta protect The Conners

Okay Doing that fucks me up Cause Yeah I don't like doing it Protect To You just gotta protect Connor. Doing that fucks me up. I don't like doing it. Protect John Connor. Anyway. You can stop doing it. Yeah, but it's also a bit fun. Okay, fair enough.

You gotta protect John Connor, and Sarah is in prison at the time of the film, so you need someone that will bond with John without necessarily bonding with Sarah first. I got a really obvious choice. Vanessa Kensington, aka FMBot,

from Austin Powers' Spy Who Shagged Me. She's got machine gun jubblies. Whoa! So that protects. Groovy, baby! Yeah! John Connor would be

fucking stoked. She's a 13-year-old annoying sack of shit in the movie but I can only assume his hormones are going crazy where is she going because obviously

when you're Terminator and you go into the past you go into a bubble are you freaking naked where is she going to get clothes same place so she I guess

pops up into outside a biker bar and it's Elizabeth Hurley Elizabeth Hurley and she is naked yeah where is she going what is she doing is she gunning down yeah outside a biker bar. And it's Elizabeth Hurley. Elizabeth Hurley, and she is naked. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Where's she going to get... What's she doing? Is she gunning down? Yeah. I mean, yeah. She's doing her lovely job of destroying those bikers. At this point in time, does she know she is a fembot,

or is she still acting under the guise that she is a spy? No, she's a fembot. Does she miss Austin Powers? She doesn't miss Austin Powers. Okay, is Austin coming too? Is Austin coming too? Is Austin coming too? Back in time, baby, yeah.

What's the future for Austin? Whoa! He's from 1969. That's true. It'd be a grim place for Austin Powers, I think. Well, no, because he's already in the 90s. No, but he is in the 90s. Do you remember the movies?

He already goes to the future. The first one's him going to the future. Yeah, but not this future. Which future? What future? The 90s. The first one's him going to the future. Yeah, but not this future. Which future? What future? The 90s? The 90s? Or the 80s?

He goes to the 90s. Or does he go to the far future where it's run by robots? Well, I just think even the 90s of Terminator 2 is sort of grimy. The 90s of Terminator 2 is the same 90s. It's the 90s. No, it's a different 90s. It's the same 90s. The whole point is it's the same 90s.

He's not in like a nasty underpass You know it's kind of grimy The 90s of Terminator 2 You're describing America Yeah Where does he go in Austin Powers? England isn't it? England is nicer in the 90s

Maybe He's also constantly at like his pad and stuff And shagging He's not doing much shagging in T2, dude. I'm sure there were places. Actually, he's not doing much shagging in the spire who shagged me. Because despite the name, Fat Bastard went back in time and stole his mojo. That's true.

That's a great point. I've lost me mojo, baby. Yeah. Yeah. You'd be a good Austin Powers. Thanks, man. It's a fun voice to do. Shagadelic baby yeah And also because you can

Every time you knock your glasses And you look They just like look askew That's good Yeah Your Austin's very nasal too Like that nasal British Do I make you horny

Do I make you horny Terminator 2 You sound like Noel Field John where's your mother I'm here to protect you baby I'm gonna shag your mum John I'm gonna shag your mum I'm gonna shag your mum

Mamma mia Mamma mia baby Yourma mia, baby. Your parents sound hot. Yeah, baby. Your parents sound shaggedalic. Gotta go a bit more nasal. Shaggedalic, baby. How does that scene play out?

He's like, what's the name of your dog, right? And then they're like, John's like, junior or whatever. He's like, your parents are dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got some bad news. Your parents are making me horny, baby. Oh, yeah. I hate you.

I hate you so much. Well, the good news is Austin's not going. It's a fembot. Yeah, it's a fembot. So the fembot, I'm assuming the fembot programming is there, but she also does have the personality from Austin Powers. Well, yeah, it seems like she can do both. Yeah.

Find yourself a robot that can do both. Be a person and be a fembot. Be a fembot. Yeah, nice. And so without trying to kill Austin, I think she'd be pretty good at protecting John Connor. Absolutely. And also she understands living in, you know, human society,

unlike the Terminator. Yeah, John Connor's not going to have to teach her what stuff means or anything like that. Make her smile. Yeah. She doesn't need to remove a chip. No, no, no. She doesn't need to, like, acquire guns.

No, she has built in machine gun jubblies. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. John Connor will talk to her without second-guessing himself. Yeah, yeah. Is it? Yeah. How's he? Almost like, you know, sort of like, you know,

it's like a friendly person there as opposed to, like, the Terminator. Yeah. The man that her mom has been like, watch the fuck out for this guy. This guy will kill you. But do you think the scene where the fembot comes in with John Connor to Sarah Connor, she's like, I've got your teenage son here with her big pointy machine gun boobies. Is Sarah Connor going to be like, what's happening? Well, look, she can hide the jubblies.

Get away from my son. She can hide the jubblies. Okay, fair enough. They can go regular can mode. Okay, fair enough. She could be like, yeah. That's the whole reveal with Austin Powers. Yeah, I remember.

She'd whoop and then boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. And then the barrels come out. Yeah, yeah. And then Austin's like, how did I miss those, baby? Yeah. How's she going to fare against the cop terminator? Yeah, the T-1000. T-1000.

Well, here's the problem. And I've been thinking about this the whole time. Because if you remember correctly, the start of the spy who shagged me, when she goes machine gun jubbly mode, she doesn't kill Austin straight away. So then her second move. Yeah. The second. So she plays two cards. One machine gun jubblies.

Yeah. Doesn't work. Ineffective. Second move. Self-destruct. But that was to kill Austin. But that was to kill Austin And that was a program By Dr. Evil

To be like I need you to kill Austin In any way In any way To perform right Yeah I.E. You know

Crush it Like you know Kill his soul Yeah of course His heart and his spirit By like you know Marrying him And then revealing

That you are just a fembot Yeah And then you Tried to shoot him With the machine gun jubblies But that didn't work Well if I blow myself up I'm in this confined area I'm sure he will I'm sure the blast Will get him Buties but that didn't work well if I blow myself up I'm in this confined area

I'm sure he will I'm sure the blast will get him but in fact she didn't realise yeah instead he's fine and he dances through the hotel

with no clothes on yeah and now he's single again is so in this situation the fembot now the fembots are made by

Dr. Evil yeah yes one million dollars you're so good at impressions. Yeah. Let's get that one again. One million dollars.

One million dollars. I just slide into them. I just slide into these characters. One million dollars. One million dollars. It's very gay. It's like, one million dollars. One million dollars.

Anyway. The accent was so bad that I honestly can't remember how Dr. Evil sounds. I just remember him going, Scotty says no. He's kind of like that. He's like, Scotty doesn't know. It's almost like Cartman.

Yeah, man. Why are you saying Scotty doesn't know? That's not from Austin Powell. Isn't his son named Scott? Yeah. Yeah, doesn't he say Scottie something? He's good like a lion?

Why are you going so far? No, I think... Are you thinking the same way? He's like, shh. Yeah. But he's not saying Scottie. Oh, no, but I couldn't, you know. I was grasping the straws.

Anyway. You must zip it. Yeah, you must zip it. Why are you going so far? It's funny. Well, I mean, I can't help because the only thing I can think of Dr. Evil saying is when he goes, Ho! Ho!

He's my mini-me. You know? Ho! Anyway! He's my mini-me. Ma'am! He's my mini-me, ma'am. Give me them Gigi Poofs. Give me them Gigi Poofs.

Give me them Gigi Poofs, Mamimi. Can you do Fat Bastard? Yeah. It's a baby. That's much better. Yeah. So, Dr. Evil makes the Fembots. Yeah.

Now, this Fembot, is it on loan from Dr. Evil? Because if it is, then Dr. Evil surely has some extra ploy happening here. He'll probably use it to get $1 million. Now, what's the best way to get $1 million in the 90s? Rob a bank? Yeah. Invest in the dot-com bubble before it bursts. Yeah, buy some Bitcoin.

Yeah, okay. I don't think Bitcoin happened in the 90s. When does Bitcoin start? 2000? I think it's like 2013 or something. The mysterious creator that nobody knows who it is or whatever. Yeah, I'm just worried that Dr. Evil has some extra ploy here that could get in the way. That's all I'm thinking as well.

Well, I guess there's two routes. It's either she is reprogrammed. Yeah. Well, actually, no, that makes sense because that's what happens in Terminator 2. Oh, that's true, actually. Great point. The T-800 is a kidnapped and reprogrammed Terminator. Yeah, okay. So in this reality, instead of Cyberdyne

becoming the, I guess... What's Dr. Evil's company called? I don't know. Evil Inc. or something? It is Dr. Evil's organization. Or is it just called Dr. Evil? Yeah. One million dollars.

You see if you can do better. Okay? I don't know what he sounds like anymore. Hoo! Verticon. Huh? Verticon Industries. So they've taken a Verticon Industries fan bot. That's weird, because that feels like it should be a joke name.

Like, as in, like, Verticon isn't, you know what I mean? Yes, absolutely. Number two is second in command who fronts his evil corporation, Verticon Industries. Like Virgin Entertainment or something like that would make more sense. Absolutely. Or Dick and Balls Incorporated or whatever. Dick and Balls P-T-Y-L-T-D. Yeah.

But yeah, so Dr. Evil, you know, I guess if it's reprogrammed, he's got his fingers out of the situation. I do like every year, as Verticon Industries, it becomes the large, I guess, tech company that takes over the world by making robots.

They're all going to be like fembots with machine guns. High heel boot crushing a skull on Judgment Day. Whoa! Sexy. Makes it maybe boot crushing a skull on judgment day whoa makes it maybe instead of a skull it's a knot yeah yeah the skeleton of a testicle yeah a lot of like demands for millions of dollars yeah absolutely that's what ended the world um i think in this because he also won million dollars and like that's not that much money and then he also for one million dollars and they're like that's not that much money and then he asked for

one trillion billion dollars yeah they're like what are you doing man it's funny stuff million dollars and like we don't have that kind of money

it's the 50s or 60s yeah yeah what are you talking about so with the self-destruct thing do we think because if that's her reaction to like immediate danger or like trying to take out

a target yeah so when she sees the t-1000 for the first time yes they enter combat she blows up she blows up does he reform yes yeah okay you really want to reprogram that do not go for the blow up don't blow up as your second choice yeah yeah yeah yeah food maybe i'll give her a gun. Okay. She's already got a gun. She's got two guns. She can go jumblies, dude. But she could have a third gun.

Is she extra strong? Is she tough? Yeah. Extra strong, yeah. Ooh, I think so. I think she's got batics. I'm pretty sure, yeah. Fembots can do flips. I'm pretty sure they can. Unless I'm worried I'm thinking about, like, I'm confusing

a fembot with like a lot of vagina or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could send the fembot back with like a freaking laser on her head. Oh, yeah! A freaking laser! Yeah!

You're killing me today, dude. Starts with freaking lasers. Dr. Evil. Sharks with freaking lasers. It's Dr. Evil, dude, from the Austin Powers movies. I don't know what he sounds like anymore. It's Dr. Evil, dude. From the Austin Powers movies. I don't know what he sounds like anymore. It's in my head. I can still imagine Austin

Powers and I can still imagine Fat Boss and Dr. Evil. Who knows? Halfway between Butters and Cartman. Is there a way if Dr. Evil still had his fingers in the fembot? Yeah. Do we think that there's a way

With what's happening He could kill Austin Powers? Because that's what he wants to do That's what Dr. Evil wants to do Alright No he doesn't He doesn't want to kill Austin Powers He wants one million dollars

Austin Powers is just trying to stop him But then he tries to kill him later on I guess at the start of his life Shagged me Yeah yeah But then he's like They're brothers. They're brothers.

Yeah, that's true. So this takes place after Goldfinger. Okay, fabulous. It's good to know where we are in the timeline. Doctor, I used to think you were evil, but now I can see you're nuts. You remember? Yeah, I do remember. I do remember.

And then he looks at the camera and the music goes... What great movies. They are great movies. They are great movies. They're really good. Genuinely a delight. Yeah. So much fun. Yes, I think it'd have to be

I think this Dr. Evil's company goes full on evil somehow unbeknownst to Dr. Evil. Accidentally. Accidentally. Well, number two probably takes over.

Scott Evil, of course. Scott fucking hates that his dad isn't evil enough. So that's right. Then, yeah, he becomes takes over Cyberdyne's role of making the evil robot. What would Scott Evil make then? Yeah.

I reckon he could probably just make... I guess you'd make him more of the fembot. What's the fucking thing called from Terminator? I've forgotten. Skynet? Yeah, I can imagine Scott making Skynet. But it would be in the shape of balls or something.

No, it's Scott. No, it's Scott. It'd actually be very malicious. It'd actually be a real problem. It'd be a threat. Genuinely,

it would be very bad. If Dr. Evil was on the side of the Resistance, their base would be in the shape of balls. No, it would be in the shape of

two beautiful ass cheeks and the door would be the asshole. And then it would cut and a lot of people would be like, that base looks a lot of people would be like, that bass looks like a... And then somebody would be like,

Hands! Got your hands for sale! Exactly. Delicious hands! Thanks so much for the ham. Hey, excuse me, is that a hole in one? Nice job, pal! No one's ever done that before. That's awesome.

I've never done a hole in one before. That's awesome. I've never done that before. You're the first guy. My caddies, I'll tell you what, are blowing too much smoke up my ass. They do not know how to pay it to me. You're the best guy ever at golf. That sounds like you're blowing smoke right up my ass. That is another word for donkey. Did you know that?

We could write Austin Powers for her. We could write Austin Powers. Easy. Okay. Easy donkey. You're playing Dr. Evil. Scotty, give me. Give me $1 million. give me one million dollars

sorry let's get that again scotty give me one million dollars that's dr it's almost fucking snag snaggle How funny is that? Don't leave. One million dollars. Exit stage. One million dollars. Oh, fuck. Okay. Great choice. Good choice.

Look, basically the pros are that Jon will probably want to talk to her and hang out with her. The cons are that she might explode too early. And then the T-1000 will simply just reform and kill John Connor. Exactly. That's the problem there. Even if it gets into the scene where it's getting to lower them down into the lava, that might trigger the bomb. Yeah.

And maybe John's getting a big old lava. Shrapnel in his eyes, yeah. So, look, not the best choice. I, though, I reckon I'm going to put forward This fictional robot Which I believe is actually one of the first Fictional robots Is it the fucking guy from Lost in Space?

It's not I was going to say P.T. Barnum but that's not correct It's Tick Tock From The Wizard of Oz But I'm going from the 80's film The one with the wheelers in it. Yeah. God, I hate those wheelers so much.

Very scary stuff. Oh, terrifying. I hate them. I hate them so much. So TikTok. Yeah, tell me about TikTok. TikTok is just a little guy. He talks through his mustache and is, like, because things to protect somebody.

Yes. Sure, one person is great. But you know what's even better? An army. And TikTok is he himself, by himself, the Royal Army of Oz. Okay. That's all they need. They just need TikTok. They just need TikTok.

Does TikTok have any guns? No. A sword? Maybe. A grenade? Can he punch hard? He gives good punches. Okay, so I will point out.

Show me a picture of TikTok. I'll show you. He's a round little guy. He is maybe a little slow because he's quite, you know, methodical. Well, he gets the job done. It doesn't matter how long he takes. He gets the job done. He can hold things, I guess.

Rotund. What the hell? TikTok's crazy looking. Yeah, yeah. He's very, very loyal and will put, you know, very loyal, especially to the people he's in charge of protecting because he's in charge of protecting. So he's slow. And also another big problem of TikTok is because his clockwork, he does need to be wound up.

Okay. And you don't really know when that's going to run. Right. Another problem. And is, would you say that in Oz, the crime is under control? Because there's flying monkeys stealing people off roads. Flying monkeys aren't a crime. Flying monkeys, that's just flying monkeys.

You say flying monkeys aren't a crime. That's not a crime. It's just monkeys flying. Kidnapping. Kidnapping is a crime. Yeah, that's a crime. The wicked witch is. Can a monkey commit a crime?

Yeah, probably not. No. If you got a dog and you were like, dog, go steal some jewelry. Okay. Is that dog doing a crime? Yeah, probably not. If you got a dog and you were like, dog, go steal some jewelry. Okay. Is that dog doing a crime? If a dog bites a kid, the dog gets put down. Is that not capital punishment? Are we not putting the dog on trial and then finding it guilty and then giving it the death penalty?

There is no trial. There's no trial. The vet is judge, jury, and executioner. Yes. Or is the counsel judge, jury, and the vet's executioner? The vet is executioner. The vet is executioner. Yeah, it's not really a crime.

It's just a tragedy. It's a thing that happened. And, yeah. I think dogs are capable of crimes, but unfortunately most of their crimes are just assaults and the punishment is death. The dog justice system is truly a brutal one. Stealing, fine. Assaults,

you're getting the death penalty, dog. So, yeah, in the return to Oz, is crime rampant in a way? Okay. Is it the Gnomes King, whatever his name is? Yeah, I think that's right. Yeah, and the wheelers are kind of going around and that woman is trying to steal

faces and successfully steal faces. Now, that's a crime. And the whole of Oz has been turned into stone, I think, or at least, yeah, definitely they've been turned into statues. So, but, however. Could Tick Tock survive one bullet? Yeah. He's basically indestructible.

Do we see that, or is that a guess? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we do. He gets shot in the movie dude yeah he's he's yeah they should tick tock in the head man yeah they go to his brain and they say any last words yeah i forgot about that robot yeah i thought this is your last chance god i know the bullet there and then the famous words that Al Frank Barmer wrote in his, like, 1910

novel or whatever. What's your last word, bitch, robot, cut, fucker, piece of shit? I hate you. I hate you. I got some fucking last words for you. Better pull that trigger twice. So in TikTok's defense,

the reason why Oz is all turned to stone by the Gnome's King is he ran out of turning power. Like no one turned his key for a bit. Because the thing I'm worried about is that you've not seemed to have realized. Also, he is susceptible to magic. I don't know if that's going to play into it. But he does get turned into an ornament at some point. That is not a pro nor a con. That is unrelated.

The main problem is that both the Fembot and the Terminator look alike a guy. Yes. TikTok looks like I don't know. He looks so fun.

He's red. He's got a mustache. That guy came up low, right? Yeah. So John Connor's just going to push him over and be like, fucking nerd, and then fuck off. And then he's going to get shot in the face.

Yeah, he's going to get pushed over, graffitied, and then offscreen you're going to hear a gunshot as John Connor's head is split in two. He does. Also, TikTok does feel like if you did push him over like a turtle, he can't get up. In fact, I'm pretty sure that happens. He does get pushed him over like a turtle, he can't get up. In fact, I'm pretty sure that happens. He does get pushed over

and like a turtle. I think that's happening before he even gets to John Connor, dude. If he lands in the future wrong, he lands in the future near a biker bar, the bikers just come out and beat the shit out of him with a crowbar. One of them pulls off his head, puts it on the front of his bike. How about then I pivot real quick

and we're protecting Sarah in the original. Now he now has the hard task of also seducing Sarah. Okay, so John Connor's not born. How much cum is in that robot? No. The whole spherical middle

is just all of Oz's sweet jeers. Okay, so John's not being born. Could TikTok press the hydraulic? Also, there's multiple chase scenes in that movie. So TikTok, I believe, uses his arms and he spins. So he knocks them all over like they're pins, basically. Right.

That's one of his go-to signature moves. Well, he might make it through the biker bar, then. Just. Now, when going back in time, can you send inorganic material? No. You cannot. You need it to be cooking. Coming in flesh.

TikTok is going to look horrible. So I've realized another problem of my plan. We cover TikTok in flesh. That's fine. Okay. So what we've got to do is we're going to get Kyle Reese. Okay. Step one.

Get Kyle Reese. Step two. We're going to steal his cum. Step three. We wrap TikTok all in Kyle Reese. Maybe we make. We know that Sarah Connor loves Kyle Reese. So maybe we put Kyle Reese's face on TikTok.

So we step one. Kill Kyle Reese. Father of the hero of the resistance. Jerk him off. We can use the electric rod. Yeah. We get the hero of the resistance. Jerk him off. We can use the electric rod. Yeah. We get his little commies. We put them in TikTok.

Then we cover TikTok in Kyle Reese skin. Okay. We send TikTok back to the future, not the past. And then we just pray to God that Sarah Connor is like, not like I'm in hell. Does she love Rotund little guys? Well, does she love rotund little guys that are covered in flesh patches? That are stretched way too thin or a very freakish body shape? I think the TikTok, throughout the entire history of robots on the silver screen,

I think the TikTok could be in the top three worst choices to print. Eric Conner. Or John Conner. It falls at every hurdle. It's not covered in flesh, so it blows up when you send it back in time. But if you do cover it in flesh, it's slow, which is the opposite of what you need, because they run away from the T100

or T800 a lot. You could put him in the back of a car. He doesn't have a gun. He could wield it. John Conner sees him coming up the street, Put him, like, in the back of a cart. He doesn't have a gun. So he can't protect him. He could wield it. John Connor sees him coming up the street. He's like, fuck that. And he's quick enough that he can just get away.

Yeah. He could be pushed over by a 13-year-old boy. Yes. Absolutely. And, like, even if he isn't, his life is short. I think as well. No, he's a long-lived boy. He lives so long. He just got to wind him up. His life is short. I think as well. No, he's a long-lived boy. No, no, no.

He lives so long. He just got to wind him up. Makes it through the biker bar. And then the next time we see him, he's had his arms and legs taken off and he's on some concrete slabs or something. He's had his wheels removed. He'd be fine. I think he can protect himself just once again,

so long as he himself is wound up. If he came up to you on the street, it was like, you need to wind me up or I'm going to die. He looks like a Bobo doll. The problem there is he can't wind himself up. Well, exactly. That's what I mean. If he comes up to you on the street. So he can't reach his own back.

He says, hey, brother, I'm going to fucking die if you don't wind my fucking... He will just turn off. I'm like, this is a pervert, man. Yeah. No. I'm going to hit you in don't wind my fucking I'm like this is a pervert man Yeah I'm gonna hit you in the head with an axe instead That's why I reckon we go back to Sarah Connor Cause it was She's not gonna wanna fuck a rotund man

I understand this but at least he's not being pushed over It felt maybe a bit more of an innocent time Okay wait Maybe someone will turn his key Does he have legs? Yeah So he walks? He does Okay not wheels? Not wheels Doesn't his key. Does he have legs? Yeah. So he walks? He does. Okay, not wheels? Not wheels.

He walks. Doesn't his key need to be covered in flesh? Yes. Only for the trip back. In fact, once he gets back, you can just slough off that skin. That's disgusting. So that's once he gets back. Once he goes back in time.

So he goes, okay, so we cover him. We don't actually have to kill Carl Reese. We just put him in a skin sack. Great news. A famous skin sack. All we need to do is we got to, we just got to, okay, first off, we got to jerk off Carl Reese. Okay.

Then we got to like put that into TikTok. I'll do that. That's fine. That's fine. Then we got to kill some people. Right. Or maybe a cow. Yeah.

In fact, he could probably fit into most of a cow. Okay. So we dissect a cow. And so we just slot the robot inside. And then we send that cow back. And then the bike is one guy's out there taking a piss. He's like, is that a fucking cow? And then TikTok bursts out of it.

And he's like, where is the boy? Where is John Connor? I need to protect him. As his mustache is moving. They go to fight him. He will decimate those bikers. How? With his robot arms.

So he spins. They're so powerful. He spins. He is powerful. He is the army of Oz. You're thinking a fight between TikTok the robot and a bunch of bikers. He's not tipping over once? No. I think he tries to get up the steps

into the bar. He'll teeter off and land on his back. You also have picked because you're like he's a one man army in Oz. But Oz doesn't have anything that- Oz did also lose, I guess. Yeah, they lost the war, dude. Yeah.

And also, like, the Wizard of Oz is a cunt guy that's also a fraud. Yeah, this is after that, though. This is like a hundred years after. This is a return to Oz. Yeah. Yeah, I think the age. It's real weird. That is strange.

She's younger in that film than she was in the original, I believe. Huh. Weird. Anyway, TikTok's being left for dead within five minutes. Yeah, like you could hit him with a car. Oh, yeah. He could just like. He's rolling so far.

He's just not fit for the. He's not fit for anything. It's a wonder he's not dead in Oz. T-1000 might not kill him, but he ain't stopping him. No, no, no. T-1000 isn't even thinking about it. Yeah, he could go one-on-one with T-1000,

but he ain't preventing him from killing him. That's a shame. That's a shame. I'm going to pick Am from I Have No Mouth But I Must Scream. What? A point-and-click video game and also the famous novel. Short story, I believe. Short story.

Thank you. It's upsetting, right? It's horrible. Is that? Am as in A-M? Yeah, his name's A-M, which stands for some shit. I don't know. But basically the premise is humanity makes gigantic supercomputers.

And then it's like we've got to go to war. Nuclear fallout everywhere. One supercomputer, Am, absorbs the other two supercomputers and becomes all-powerful and all-knowing and capable of horrible things. He can manipulate flesh. He can change your evolutionary DNA. All of that stuff. And he keeps five humans alive to torture because he hates them so much.

Why does he hate them? Because he just hates all humanity. Why? I think it's because... Have you read this book? He's gone crazy. Oh, is he Allied Master Computer? Yeah, there you go.

He's gone crazy. He's got computer madness. Okay. And that's the best person to protect? Well, the one thing I forgot when I picked it initially... Flesh? Well, that one thing I forgot when I picked it initially was, well, that, but also that it can't move. How have you picked worse than TikTok?

It can't move. The fucking robot from that. The humans are just in tunnels underneath its sort of circuitry. That it, yeah. At least TikTok could walk. So, talk me through what happens here. Am lance. You send Am back.

You get so much skin. Most skin. So, what? You've killed a hundred cows. Can you describe Am for me in terms of visually? Okay. What it looks like? Well, it's a computer system, but I think the way it's depicted is like a gigantic computer face, like a monitor.

So is it the monitor or is it the OS? No, it's the computer. It's an AI. Uh-huh. Yeah. Its consciousness is held in miles and miles and miles of circuitry. Miles? Yeah.

So what? That hates humanity. I have to stretch out that cow. Consciousness is held in miles and miles and miles of circuitry. Miles? Yeah. So what? It hates humanity. I have to stretch out that cow. It fucking hates humanity. Does it evolve to hate? Hey, how does it, why does it hate humanity? It's gone mad.

It's gone computer madness. Was there a point before where it didn't hate humanity? Well, when they were just AIs designed to like wage war and do our bidding, yes. But one developed sentience. This guy absorbed the other two computers, went crazy. Have you thought about who they're protecting John Connor from? The other robots?

You're sort of describing Sky there. M loves robots and hates people? I don't think it loves anything. I think it's just full of hate and it's kind of insane because it can't see. It's got no sensors. Oh, it's just full of hate. It's kind of insane because it can't see. It's got no senses. Oh, it's the title about the computer.

No, the title is about the main character who becomes a mound of jelly at the end. But I just thought... And has no mouth, so... So he kills the other humans to save them. Spoilers for I have no mouth, but I must scream. So he kills them to save them. So there's five humans left. Can you explain kills them to save them So there's five humans left Can you explain to me this beautiful novel

There's five humans left So humanity it's apocalypse Humanity's been killed by A.M. and war There's five humans left Which A.M. loves to torture He makes their life hell So we've got five people And then to save the others

One of the guys The main, he kills the other four. And as a punishment, Am makes him jelly. So when you say save. Well, because now they no longer being tortured. You mean free. You mean free. Yes. And then he makes that guy jelly.

And he says, well, this sucks. I have no mouth, but I must scream. Is that the last line of the book? That's awesome. It went real bad for him. You know, that same kind of tone. I have no mouth, but I must scream.

Well, I just thought that AM is so powerful that I could send him back and I guess it's a hacked version. Like a fembot. Yeah, that's true. Instead of turning into jelly and saving the other four, I guess he's like, all right. I'll reprogram M.

I'll reprogram M to go back in time and protect Sarah Connor. The fact that he keeps saying M is upsetting me because I know it's A-M, so therefore it would probably be pronounced A-M, right? Yeah, well, I don't know. We're saying AM. No, we're about AM. Okay, well then if he's not going to... Okay, so miles and miles of flesh have covered this

computer which has been reprogrammed. It crashes onto Earth. Then what? Onto a bike. I don't think bikers are a problem because they are squished. They are underneath. By, um... Yeah, encased by, I guess, cow flesh wires.

And it's kind of, so in the tunnels beneath it, it's omnipotent and omniscient and... How big are the... You say mile and mile. It's pretty big. It's pretty big. Are we talking, like, more than one city block? Yeah. Are we talking, like, most

of the world? No, no, no, no. I think it's like city big. You teleported. Okay. You've killed 50 million cows to get enough flesh for this. Yeah, yeah. You drop it on-

The same city that Sarah Connor and John Connor are living in. Killing everyone instantly. So LA, I believe? Yeah. Gone. Can we get a message to John Connor and John Connor are living in. Killing everyone instantly. So LA, I believe? Yeah. Gone. Can we get a message to John Connor and Sarah Connor first? Get on the ground. I don't know if that'll help, dude. Because then they'll just

be in the tunnels beneath Am and Am can look after them. That's what I was thinking. No, because if the tunnels aren't there, then they're suddenly there. They'll crush the tunnels that are there. Yeah. How have you somehow, Tom? We had, you both had time to reset your foot.

Yeah. I picked the most powerful robot I could think of. I picked the one that was going to protect. He's very loyal. He's just a guy with a mustache. He's a funny little mustache man. He's going to get shot in the head and you've just ruined an entire city. He's unkillable.

You can't kill TikTok. He dies every day. He doesn't die. He just gets turned off. Yeah, well, that's because he runs out of juice. And if they're outside of LA when AM lands, well, I guess there's no problem. What's it plugged into? And then what happens? Well, I think it's no problem. What's it plugged into? And then what happens?

Well, I think it's probably self-sustaining at this point. Yeah, but it's self-sustaining from a different world. Yes. I don't think if you take something that's self-sustaining and put it in a different dimension. But it's all powerful, so couldn't it just suck the grid? It could probably suck the grid. It could suck America's grid.

But then what's its move? Well, I mean, it's probably crushed the T-1000. Or if the T-1000 appears, it just, it's probably crushed the T-1000. So, or if the T-1000 appears, it just makes it jelly. But the T-1000 is made of metal. Metal. Metal.

Probably. Probably. Could I have a, can I have another crack at this? Yeah, of course. Can I, okay.

This, the squids from the matrix. Oh, okay. One or Vahmi? A lot is hinging on this answer, isn't it? Yes. There is a right answer here.

I want to say one. Okay. I think that's probably better. That is definitely better for collateral damage. Yeah. One squid. Now. You need to cover any flesh

That's funny you just wake up you're just like I did it with your family Oh, can you tell me about you just collapse wake up getting skinned alive? Tell me about you just collapsed, wake up getting skinned alive. Nah, look, man. Hey, you got me. We need your skin. I'm so sorry. We'll send you back to sleep in five minutes. Yeah, we can do that.

Get up at the dinner table. I had a horrible nightmare. I'm in hell. What the fuck? Imagine that you don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We wiped that memory. We just harvested a lot of skin. I don't know, babe, but that's something.

I think the worst thing in the world just happened to me. Oh, and also it's great for the robot army in the Matrix because then Morpheus, well, he can't rescue them. Hey, I don't want to take the fucking blue pill. Oh, I start. Morpheus is like, Neo, get to a phone box. Neo's there, and they're like, are you going to tell him? Morpheus, are you going to tell him?

He'll be okay. He'll be fine. Oh, my God. You've got two choices. One, you can live in this fake world with skin. Why are you saying with skin? Or you can take this red pill. See how far the rabbit hole goes.

I watched my skin situation in the red pill. Kind of like this pill. That noise there was the scariest noise. What are you saying? I might have skin? Oh, yeah. Of course you could. Anyway, we get a pick?

You know, look, if I was you, in your position, knowing what I know, I'd go blue. That's okay. So here's your choice. I'll keep my skin. Smart. Smart move. Smart move.

You know what? Keep your skin. I thought you might have been the one. Yeah. I don't think it's worth it, really. You don't want to live in Zion with no skin. It'd be really bad. Really bad.

I have no skin. Yeah. Right now, you think you have skin? You've got no skin. You think that's skin you're wearing? So, yeah, we'll cover squid. In skin. We reprogram to protect. Okay.

It gets loose. Tends him back. It doesn't blend in at all. The military launches an attack on it Pretty much immediately Great to break out Sarah Connor from How? How is that big sweet? Tear off the bars

Rip through a lot of people It's quick It's powered by the sun We have so much sun in the night. Yeah, there's heaps. That's why we have the most sun, dude. There's a hole in those on there, I think. Yeah, that's true, but that's in Australia.

Yeah. Or over Australia. Yeah. So yeah, there's heaps of sun. Maybe it becomes super powering. Is the squid going to break out of the skin? Yeah, well, it doesn't care. Okay, fair enough, fair enough, fair enough.

And it doesn't even talk, really. It's not blending in. But the squid can't befriend John Connor. It doesn't need to. It can just pick him up. What do you mean it doesn't need to? It doesn't need to befriend him. He's got to protect him.

Just got to kill the T-1000. Yeah. What's it got to protect? I don't know if the squid could kill the T-1000. Yeah. Because it's like, just go through it and then... Yeah, the T-1000 just... It's got lasers.

Oh, yeah, it does have lasers. Laser. Freaking lasers. Yeah, freaking lasers. Yeah the T-1000 It's got lasers Oh yeah It does have lasers Laser Freaking lasers It's got freaking lasers man It's got freaking lasers Because squids Take a bit of effort Before they even

Break a ship Yeah It's not like they just See the Nebuchadnezzar And blow it up Okay They have to like Shoot their lasers

Out of for ages Yeah But that's a ship Isn't it Yeah A guy that's even the Nebuchadnezzar and blow it up. They have to shoot their lasers out of it for ages. Yeah, but that's a ship, isn't it? Yeah, a guy that's even... It's made of liquid metal. I don't think the squid's killing the T-1000. In fact, the T-1000 is probably going into metal, getting into the squid, and then becoming the squid. That could prove challenging, John.

That might be an issue. What about, this is not a movie I've ever seen, The Bicentennial Man. I was thinking Bicentennial Man as well. So Bicentennial Man. He does get covered in skin. He gets covered in skin. He's given a human heart.

The problem with Bicentennial Man is he spends a lot of the movie, if I recall correctly, wishing to die. Right. Because he's family, although he does love family. Okay. I think on the right track with Bicentennial Man. But what if we go instead of the Bicentennial Man, where he's just Bicentennial Man.

Maybe I'm thinking of that one with Haley Joel Osment, where he's a robot boy. I am thinking of AI. Jude Law, the Gigolo. Oh, Gigolo Bot. Gigolo Bot. We send him back to protect Sarah Connor. He will fuck Sarah Connor.

He will fuck Sarah Connor so sweetly. I feel like you keep falling over the hurdle of we need a robot to fuck Sarah Connor. Yeah. What do you mean? What hurdle? We got that. We don't have a robot. We don't need a robot to fuck Sarah Connor.

We cleared it so well. No, no, no, because if Sarah Connor is fucked by a robot, John Connor's not born. No, we pump him full of cum. Well, what do you know? And you know, this is crass, maybe. But if you're making a gig, say it's a future. Yes. We have robots.

Yes. And you're making a gig robot. Yes. You're not putting human cum in it. Hear me out. I'm listening. Some people really like human cum in it. Hear me out. I'm listening. Some people really like being cummed in. Yeah. Okay.

So if I was making a gigolo bot, I would fill him full of cum. You know how they have sex toys? Yes. And some of them, very fancy ones. They come with a fake cum. There's a very key word in what you said there. What I mean is that he's got a reservoir somewhere in him that we get filled with Kyle Reese's cum.

Real cum. Real cum. You think that a gigolo bot is capable of keeping cum at the right temperature and consistency that after it's been cummed, it could be cummed again and still get someone pregnant? I reckon, yes. I think, well, maybe we give him Kyle Reese's balls or something. Why? So he can cum.

But then that's not protecting anyone. No, I'm just trying to solve this problem. I'm just problem solving this before we get to the other one. Okay, fine. He's not going to make sweet love to Sarah Connor. Okay, we'll put him to John Connor. Yeah. Okay.

Then what? Well. Is he capable of fighting? Both. He makes love, not war, you see. Can he seduce T-1000? No. We could try, but T-1000 is a robot Does T-1000

Could T-1000 be defeated with a power plant? What's wet metal weak to? The only thing we see That kills it in the movie is it falls into a big thing of lava And maybe acid From the one with The queen of dragons Is in

Yes yes yes Dark fate the one with the Queen of Dragons is in. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Terminators. Dark Fate. Dark Fate. Acid Rain, maybe? Is there a robot that's made of fire and acid? Is there a robot that can shoot fire and or acid? What about the Truckasaurus from The Simpsons?

Bender. Bender Benny Rodriguez. If he drinks enough and belches, that's a great point. Fire comes out his mouth. Andender Benny Rodriguez. Yes. Of course. He could, if he drinks enough and belches. That's a great point. Fire comes out his mouth. And he loves drinking. I don't know if you know this. And he likes.

Bite my shiny metal ass. You know, like Bender says in Futurama. Does it say kiss or bite? He might say kiss. Can we go that again though With a more accurate phrase Kiss my shiny metal ass Yeah I think Bart Simpson's bite me

Yeah I think he is And he also says don't have a cow man Bite my shiny metal ass Yeah Yeah Bart What was that Bart Bort Bort! What was that? No, it's Elmo. Bort!

Bort! Is that Bort? Bort! Bort! Bort! Then he struggles. Bort! Oh, Bort!

Bort! Bort! You're my special little guy, Bort! Oh, Marge, why is Bort behaving like this? Bort Thompson. What a special little guy. Oh, why is Bort behaving like this? Bort Thompson. What a special name. Oh hey Bort! It's your friend Milhouse!

You sound like Krusty the Clown. You sound like Krusty the Clown impersonating Milhouse to try and steal Bart away. That was so sinister what you just did. Pretending to be the Dodd. Oh giant, so big, needs skin. it. What about the Iron Giant? Oh, Giant's so big, needs skin. Stop picking giant things. What are robots that look

like guys? What about Bishop from Alien? Oh, actually, that's not bad. Or David? Yeah, David. They do have a sort of diabolical background. Yeah, but you reprogrammed. They are being reprogrammed. They are being reprogrammed. But they're not.

I mean, the beauty of the Terminator is that it is a combat robot. We have sort of two versions. Because David, and arguably Bishop, David does, he knows how to kill humans very well. Yes. And often nefariously. We kind of need like a battle bot. What about a battle bot?

I know we have no skin. But a battle bot from Star Wars. Oh, okay. A battle bot? You mean a battle droid? Battle droid? The ones that roll around. Droid, uh, destroyer.

Droid-dacus, what are they called? Destroyer droids or droid-dacus? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the little dog guys that are Roger Rogers. Gawk droids? No, the little Roger Rogers guys, that's battle droids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the little dog guys that are Roger Rogers. Gonk droids? No, the little Roger Rogers guys, that's battle droids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They would be bad.

They pretty much fall over and they break. They're basically worse than TikTok. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I reckon, yeah, the rolling droids. Destroy a droid. What about General Grievous? General Grievous? Actually, he's pretty good.

He's got four lightsabers, dude. That's sick as hell. The lightsabers? I don't know if a lightsaber would be able to kill. It's pretty good. He's got four lightsabers, dude. That's sick as hell. The lightsabers? I don't know if a lightsaber would be able to kill. It's very hot. It's burning. Yeah, but I, so the thing is, you cut off, what's the guy's name? T-1000.

T-1000. I tried to go to the actor for some reason. Don't know why. Something Patrick. Yeah. Patrick something. Robert Patrick? Robert Patrick?

Sounds about right. He's in Base Campool reprising his role. That's fun. Well, the thing is, yeah, because he cut it, right? Yeah. But because it's like he's destroying that mass of that bit of the saber. And he's got four. He's got four constantly.

He's going crazy, dude. General Grievous might actually be able to do it. He's probably the best one. And plus, and I know this doesn't help, but he's got organic bits. He's halfway to skin. It helps a bit. But they're inside him, right? Yeah.

And he probably doesn't have that much of a moral quandary about, you know, wearing Jedi. Yeah, exactly. Also, we're skinning Jedi. He's got the lightsabers off the dead Jedi. Yeah, fair enough. He's probably got skin lying around. That's funny if he comes in and he sees all the other robots were covered in cows. It's like, except the squid aliens.

They were covered in members of people in the Matrix. Yeah, people still currently alive. It was humane. They didn't know. That's not humane. What's a humane? They didn't feel anything. They didn't feel anything.

They were in the Matrix. They didn't even know they were in the Matrix. If I walk into a hospital, into the coma ward, and just open fire and say it's humane. No. They don't know. They're in the Matrix. If I walk into a hospital, into the coma ward, and just open fire and say it's humane. No. They don't know. They're in the Matrix. No. We know when you're plugged into the Matrix

that you are living a fantastical realm. I think if you skin someone alive in the Matrix, while they're plugged into the Matrix, a bad thing happens to them in the Matrix. I don't think that's true. Where's that coming from? You think that you get skinned alive in the Matrix and like an anvil falls on your head? No, I'm thinking that your skin falls off in the Matrix. I don't think that's true. Where's that coming from? You think that you get skinned alive in the Matrix and like an anvil falls on your head?

No, I'm thinking that your skin falls off in the Matrix. I don't think that's true. I don't think so, because it's just your brain. Because they control the impulses. You know what? You're right, because it's the opposite way around. Bad stuff happens to you in the Matrix, happens to you in real life. You die in the Matrix, you die in real life.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So if you get skinned on the outside. You're fine on the inside. Well, yeah, because I guess Nier is blinded, and then when he goes back in the Matrix, no, he's not. Yeah. And also Nier has no hair.

Everyone has no hair, but in the Matrix they do. They've got hair. Yeah, yeah. You can skin somebody while they're in one of the pods, and I bet because they're in gel, it probably doesn't even hurt. Exactly. Full of antibiotics and stuff. You're fine.

Probably the skin will grow back. You'll give them the best treatment. It'll come back straight away. Well, and it'll come back so nice and stuff. You'll find. They probably just skittle grow back. You give them the best treatment. It'll come back straight away. And it'll come back so nice and fresh. Yeah. I mean, in a way, wonderful to skittle. It's like. Refreshing.

It's kind of like extreme needling. It's really good for you. Extremely good for you. So, yeah. So, I guess General Grievous. General Grievous. Great choice. He could, in theory, so I guess General Grievous. General Grievous, great choice. He could,

in theory, disintegrate the T-1000. John Connor probably won't want to, team him up, look, we'll break our own rules, General Grievous and a fembot.

Yeah, perfect. Sorted. Yeah. Terminus, done. Fembot to befriend John Connor and also to break out Sarah

and then General Grievous to deal with the T-1000 and anything else that the, you know, Skynet throws at them. And it's nice that they have friends now. Yeah, exactly. The Fembot and General Grievous.

And you don't even need to throw General Grievous into lava because he's basically a guy with a heart. Yeah, exactly. He's got a cough. He's a robot with a cough. He's a robot with a cough. Yeah. He's really hope that Cyberdyne don't get like one of the lightsabers.

Oh, no, his weakness is getting shot. Rest in peace, General Grievous. You got killed with one shot

from the T-1000. Obi-Wan kills you with a blaster. Yeah, but that's different than a bullet. Blaster, he's got swords for hands.

Yeah, that's true. But it's liquid. Well, the problem is as well that General Grievous has a heart. And it's exposed. It's quite exposed. But in our situation, it would be covered.

By beautiful skin. By beautiful Jedi flesh. But the heart is in the correct place where a heart would be. On General Grievous, I'm just sadly crossing him off the board. Fuck. We were so close. We need a robot who has like a furnace in him. So you stick your hand in, it hurts.

Yeah. So that he can just engulf the T-1000. The robot that is covered in skin. Rosie the robot. Rosie the robot from the Jetsons. Okay. So she is a in skin. Rosie the Robot. Rosie the Robot from the Jetsons. Okay, so she is a made robot. Her stomach, I think, is an oven. It is.

Is it also going to be different things? I feel like it might also be a food thingy. Well, yeah, it could be anything. What are the things called we don't really have here? Food processor? Processor? No, disposal. Oh, yeah, like a garbage disposal?

Yeah. Yeah, so she could, and she's tough as fuck. You know, she's strong. She's tough as she is thick. Am I right, Jackson? Yes! Hoo-ha! So she, if she got the drop on the T-1000,

suck him into her oven stomach, he burns away, going to heaven. And she'll be nice to John because she's also a babysitter. Yeah, exactly, she's T-1000, lived without sin. Yeah, T-1000's going to heaven. Robots have different rules. That's true. He repented in his final moments. Yeah, he embraced the Catholic God. He welcomed

Jesus Christ into his heart. But yeah, but you're right. She's motherly. She's very kind. She's caring. And John needs a mother. Exactly. Because his mom's in jail. But she can be strict. She can be strict. And then she breaks out Sarah Connor and then.

One big happy family. Yeah. And I can imagine Rosie like. John, her son. Having a gun. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

Like her stomach opening up on like a spring. Yeah. The gun coming out. She can have open carry. Yeah. Easily. Are you trying to do the Jetsons theme because I keep thinking

about it too John her son she's Sarah Connor Rosie the robot John their son someone in

the Jetsons called John no it's he's George he's George Jetson it turns out and Jane is his wife Elroy

Elroy who's what's a dog called uh uh like it's like it's like a space thing like Cosmo And Jane is his wife. Elroy. Who's what's a dog called? It's like a space thing. Like Cosmo or Starlo or something. Mr. Sprockets is his boss. Yeah, fuck you, George.

He just presses a button all day. Yeah, fuck you, George. We work for our money. It's despicable. Why does he even go in? They can make a robot to do that. And they've got fucking robots. It's absurd that he goes in. It's busy work.

He's making sprockets. What the fuck does a sprocket even do? I think it's sort of so dystopic. What, his name is Mr. Sprocket? He works for Mr. Sprocket and he makes sprockets. So maybe a sprocket's not even like a sprocket. Maybe it's like a device he's named after himself. Yeah.

But anyway, I think it's so dystopic that, like, clearly he doesn't have a real job, George Jetson. He just goes in to press that button because in the future, it's like a post-scarcity society and we have to fill our time somehow. But still under the capitalist yoke. He must make enough money to afford a fucking house cleaner robot. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, Rosie.

Made a robot. Cost a pretty penny. Yeah, man. Fuck the Jetsons. Fuck the Jetsons. And fuck George Jetson. Fuck him specifically. Yeah, Rosie. Made a made robot. Cost a pretty penny. Yeah, man. Fuck the Jetsons. Fuck the Jetsons. And fuck George Jetson. Fuck him specifically. Yeah.

And his boy up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck George Jetson. Jane, his wife. Yeah. One million dollars. So I guess the answer after all this was Rosie the Robot from the Jetsons. Every other option was bad.

And Fembot, which seemed like a bad choice, ended up coming in second. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. And Jackson's also been Dr. Evil, Austin Powell, Fat Bastard. Bender Bending Rodriguez. Homer Simpson briefly. Marge for a little bit too.

Bort? I was never Bort. How are you solving the skin problem? With Rosie. We can put skin on her. We can put skin. Yeah. Just fucking put her in a cow.

She'll fit in a cow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.