Plumbing the Death Star - What if Harambe was Buried in Stephen King’s Pet Sematary? with Prime Mates

Episode Date: April 12, 2026

This week we are joined by Matt Stewart from Prime Mates to ponder the question what if Harambe was buried in Stephen King's Pet Sematary? From guesting on Joe Rogan to the etymology of tossing salad, this is an episode where we all learn things. Some are even ape related! Happy APEril! Get tickets to see Matt live in Melbourne (use code GOBANANAS): https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/browse-shows/matt-stewart-and-suren-jayemanne/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up gamers and fans of podcasts in general? Are you a gamer and a fan of a podcast and maybe in Sydney in April? That was my practice one. I'm good to go. It was really good. I don't think you need to practice anymore. What's up gamers and fans of other podcasts that aren't necessarily video game-based. Did you know that Thumbcrams is heading to Sydney in April?

That's right. Thumbcrams and Friends present Sidney April on April 16 at 7.30 p.m. At where? What? The factory theater. I don't know. Don't look at us. We don't know.

You tell me where we're performing. We're performing it in the factory floor, which is one of the rooms in the wonderful factory theater. And when? I don't know that either. I said just before. Well, remind, he wasn't listening. I'm not. listening, I don't know what's going on, I'm very scared.

And it's on April 16, Thursday, April 16, at 7.30 p.m. respectable time for a weeknight. Yeah. And thumb cramps obviously is hosted by me and Jackson. Yes. You might have heard when I said thumb cramps and friends present things in April, and you're probably sitting there being like, who they're friends. I'd love to buy a ticket to this podcast, but I need to know who their friends are.

Great news. It's Joel Zamette. Hello, I'm right here. You probably heard my voice from before when I said, what? Oh, what's going on? You can expect some of that, but you can. You can also expect that from Andrew Levens. He's not in this studio currently.

We can't throw to him. He'll be there. Steph Panicassio. Also not in this studio. But you can imagine what you might say. Chloe Appleby. Same thing. Bet she'd have a good joke right about now.

Ruby Inners. I bet she'd say something mean to me. Those are the friends, but whose thumb creams? Well, it's Joel Dusha. Hey! It's me. Back to bye. And Jackson Bailey.

I'm in Zammett Bailey And Zammett Bailey This starts going really well Anyway Tickets are available now There is only like 30 or so left We booked a room that we thought

Was gonna be too big And now it's looking like it could sell out You can get tickets through the Thumb Crams Instagram bio Or any of the show descriptions Of a Thumb Crams episode Listen Released in the last

Probably the show notes of this episode too Whatever it is Look down I guess Grab your phone and be like Look down but not too down because that's how you'll find the floor. This is Thumbcrams' first time doing a show outside of Melbourne and technically London. Yeah.

So don't forget to come. And I'll see you there, gamers. Don't you dare forget to come to our show. Don't you forget to come. This is such a funny call-out. Welcome to Primates, the podcast where we explore primates in popular culture. from Chimpauna, all the way down to Chimpanzee. I'm your host, Matt Stewart,

and joining us in the Monkey House this week of The Boys from Plumbing the Death Star. And this is also an episode of Plumbing the Death Star, a comedy pop culture podcast and asked the important questions. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also, Joel. And today we're joined by Matt Stewart from Primates.

Hey, oh my God, I'm freaking out. Now you've just got to, like, introduce it again. Yeah, yeah. See how many dogs around that we can do it. That'd be real nice. Now, I usually would have the question in front of me. I believe Matt, I believe you have the question. You've got the question.

The question is really the reason we've come together for a historic mixed episode. A celebration of April. That's right. So it is that April. We're counting down the five most voted for topics by primates listeners. This is the fourth most voted for topic. Hey, not even a podium finish. Loving the Death Star fans, this is your chance to listen to primates for the next year

and make sure that any topic featuring us and Elise cracks the top three when April rolls around next year. We'll take bronze. Yeah. We really will. I just don't want to be looking at that podium, crying. Forth place, kicking the pants, that's it. You get a medal? No. In primary school, at least at mine, you got a white ribbon for coming forth. Which is crazy because like the Cowards ribbon.

Yeah, yeah. But then also, like, that doesn't do anything, because that just prolongs. Like, it's like, okay, if it's like gold, silver bronze, oh, we should get fourth white. Yeah, exactly. The cowards medal. Yeah. But then it's just like, then fifth just becomes a year. It's like, why is fourth get about it? Yeah. Yeah. I would rather come last,

dead last than fourth. Absolutely. At least you're like, well, I had no hope in hell. Yeah, there was never a chance that I was going to succeed. Yeah, absolutely. I think I'd prefer to come first. Oh, well, yeah. If I'd give them the option. Too much pressure on that. That's such arrogant. I'd rather go, yeah,

well, first, third, last, fourth second. Oh, 16th. Second. Second. I don't want to go second. Imagine being second. I came this close to victory. I'd be happy with second.

You're pretty, you've done pretty well. And you don't feel like I'm sorry that I didn't mean to... Because it also gives it next Olympics. You go, well, I can try for gold. Or if I come 16th, if I come last, I come back to my home country and they say, Jesus cry. The wrong country, they'll put a bullet in there. Did anybody even train you?

Where's your coach? And I go, I don't know. I think I left him there. I'm going to be honest with you. I don't even really know what I competed in. I had a great time in the village, though. I do and off. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, so this is the fourth most voted for topic this April, and it was suggested by a Patreon called L. Beetz, who wrote IDK. I don't know. I don't know if you remember my big list. Hang on. That doesn't sound like a crush. Hang on a damn dick.

I don't know if you remember my big list on the Facebook group. Oh, yeah. Albeats, I don't. I'm reading it. I'm reading. I'll be honest with you. I'm reading his wrong message. Thank you for your honesty.

Yeah, thank you for being honest. And also, this is, proof. Podcasting's real. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I should warn you three, I don't edit primates. That's all right. That's okay. Yeah, that's fine.

I know, I know Plumines Esther is highly edited. Highly edited. It's all really is. Highly produced. So, these days. If you're listening to this on the primates feed and you want to hear a slightly tighter version of it. Oh, now that's good.

And if you're listening to this on the plumbing feed and you want a slightly loose version? You want the sloppy version? With less stuff cut out? Maybe there's some riffs that we cut out that you actually want to hear. Yeah, compare. Head over to primates.

It'd be funny to look at primates at a longer sort of for some reason. You're like, wait, what? Did they put stuff in? Yeah, we weren't happy with it. So we just went back into the studio. Just punched in some rifts. So this is what Al Bates wrote

Begging for the concept of Bering Harambe and Stephen King's Pet Cemetery featuring the plumbing the death star lads Okay fingers crossed emoji I put that in the poll as Something like potentially featuring Because I'm like I can't promise that

These guys are busy You can promise us Without any time And that goes for pretty much any podcast out there Not everyone Just most. Well, if the show to listen is who you won't do, you want to list them? Probably wouldn't do...

Joe Rogan? Did you go on Joe Rogan? I would absolutely go on Joe Rogan. Do most of them in a heartbeat because you're going to look like the biggest buffoon? Or you're going to wreck their show? I wouldn't do the Ben Shapiro one. Just a waste of time. I don't think he's just annoying to bummer around.

My instincts are kicked in. really just want to like, grab, strap, just bring his little. I know that. That would be great potting. Yeah,

but then they're not going to, they're not going to release an episode where the guest fights Ben Shapiro. That's every episode. No, no, no, not physically.

I don't know. Would they release an episode where you physically strangled Ben Shapiro? What is your voice? I'm like that. Do you think the security beer so tight

that you can have your phone on, you'd just be recording. Mm, true. A pocket record? Just keep it in the contract that like we're recording this at all times. A pocket record. A pocket record for any of those like gotcha podcast would be good because, but also like, I don't know, Joe Rogan, get me on there.

Yeah, get Joel Dusher on the Joe Rogan experience. And look, if you're listening to Primates and this is in the Primates feed and it's not edited, so you're going to hear this. Joe Rogan has done something twice that truly fascinates me, which is in two separate episodes of the Joe Rogan experience, he's shown the guest the Mr. Hands video. Oh, yeah. Why'd he do that? Why he do that? And then why he'd do that again? It's just...

Who was the guest? One of them was an Australian comedian. But neither one was... It was like he had a... A chalky. A horse fucker out of specialist. Brother, this you? It was like apopro of nothing, right?

It was just... Yeah, he just off in the middle distance thinking about something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Jeremy, whatever. Bring up the clip. Pull that up. Open up the...

You know the tab? I always have to have to have ready. Just in case. Click on the bookmarks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want to, I want to know. You want to know why. Or to see if you can do the right kind of interview where he shows it to you out of, you know, without prompting or whatever.

But also like, the second time he showed it, he'd already taken the Ivermectin. And I was like, do you feel closer to the horse now? Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He took Ivermectin? Yeah. Fuck he's dumb. Yeah, dude.

The only reason to take horse medicine is if you want to feel like a horse. Or you are a horse. You're a horse and you're sick is a good reason. Yeah, you're a sick horse. Number one. Yeah. Let's see top 10 reasons. Okay, number two, you want to be closer to horses.

I reckon number three, great there. Yeah. Number four, you have a sickness only horses have, but you're a man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a centaur? You're a centaur, obviously. Cento's pretty high. You got a heart transplant, and the heart you got was a horse.

Yes, of course. Like, you've stolen Falaps heart. To make yourself as strong as fallout. You've got the same poisoning that killed fall up. Because it was still some left of the heart. Why aren't we bringing back to a lot? Oh, no, that wasn't a different thing. That's the real exclusive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, yeah, if you want to hear that, you've got to go to plumbing pot on Instagram. Yeah, exactly. Otherwise, you're going to talk about? You don't know what we're referring to. Right now, Matt is really wishing the primates was edited. So, yes. This week I'm plumbing the rest of asking, what would happen if you'd

Buried Harambe in the Pet Cemetery. Now the podcast is... Some keen-eared listeners who've listened to Plumming the Death Star before, they might go, that was a riff in an episode of Plumming the Death Star. Al Beetz's tricked Matt Stewart. Yeah, the episode where I think the question was, what would we do with Stephen King's Pet Sametary and Joel Dusha over here? For a personal gain or profit.

Thank you. Joel Dushie said he would... Now, Matt, you tell me if this is a good point. Okay? He said he would bury Harambe So that when Harambe came back, evil And then got killed by the townspeople They would say it was good Harambe died

Because The plan would basically be It would my, I guess I'd be showing everyone that it was fine We killed Harambe the first time Because Arombe clearly a bad gorilla Yes, truly But because people didn't know that the pet cemetery

turned the pet bad Yeah But then I believe our question The question was, do you not think that people would be suspicious, and suddenly a... Harambe has risen in a forest in Maine. And also, yeah, how much do we believe that the average person can tell the difference

between dealers? Yeah, exactly. Wait, was that Harambe? I reckon Harambe would have to hit the classic harombe pose. Oh, yeah. What's the harombe pose? Like being in the clouds. Hovering above the world, looking down on us.

Yeah, you know, with XXX, X, X, X, X, Tendash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then it'd be like, I reckon that age. I don't know, this movie's crazy. I think that's Harambe. Come back from the dead. Yeah. Not just to recognize Harambe, but to recognize, like, a, like, a...

Already falling apart. Yeah, a zombie-fied. Isn't... Herambay's got, like, an awesome, like, you know, the photo that they always use, like, Harambe's walking and, like, looking back at the camera, right? Are you thinking a big foot? No, no, not over the... With those giant glutes. Yeah.

Not over their shoulder. Kind of like if I was like walking directly side on from you when you called my name and I just turned my head. That's your thing. I think you are thinking of Bigfoot. I don't mean like this. Yeah. It's like this.

Once again. Yeah. Once again. If you can find me that photo. I think you're thinking of Bigfoot. That's, you're doing the partisan Gimlin post. Yeah.

Once again, this way to ask my question. Yeah. What? would you do if Patterson Gimlin captured footage of zombie Harumbe

If that was the reveal Is that kind of what the show is? Yeah, more on what you wanted to be The show can be whatever you want it to be I think I've done a handful of ape related ones on this show Yeah, well it's a rich vein of discussion I mean, Joel especially is

famously an ape man Yeah, big big ape man I was wrong Harambe does have a famous pose, but it's not the one I remember. Because the one you remembered is... Don't worry about it. I like this pose of Harambe. It kind of looks like where he's like outlining the NFL, like, play we're going to do.

That's the vibe he's giving me. Very nonchalant, though. He's like, we got this. Yeah, he's not worried. It looks like someone that should be inside like a universe, at a university, like sitting on like the Oval or whatever. On the quad, quad. Yeah.

And just chatting about a book. Do you mean like a professor? Like Professor Harambe said, let's have class outside. He's a cool professor. Yeah, I'm not thinking more like an older student. Like he's been there for a while. And like, I think he's about to play Hackie Sack. I'm going to split you two and say it's a tutor.

Oh, very interesting. Do you think if you were a professor on the quad, would you be a cool professor, do you reckon? No. Okay. Not at all. I just, I can't, I'm like, I would feel so self-conscious. Like, why are you listening to me?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, there'd be nothing cool about it. I'd be so self-conscious going, what are you guys? Guys, you're not paying for this, are you? Oh, no. I've got nothing to do it, John. You're not going into big debt for this, I'd be so needy. I'm like, you guys are right?

Can I get through anything? Is this been a good class? Have you learned anything? Do you want an A? Yeah, I'll give you all A's. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know how I end up here. You're probably wondering how I got here. And I am to... Me as well. What class is this? Yeah. So, okay, with the Pet Cemetery. So we only ever see things that are nice going there. I'm not bad.

I need a cum, clan. I don't know anything about it. Ah, sometimes. Sometimes. Dad is better. That is better. You know the Ramon's song? I don't want to be buried in the Pet Cemetery. Yeah.

Yeah. They don't want to get buried in the Pet Cemetery. pet cemetery because it turns you evil. So what happens is... Did any humans get buried there? Yeah. Oh, a little boy. A little girl in one of the movies.

So the premise of the pet cemetery is a family moves into a new house in Maine and the neighbor says, and the neighbor says, and the neighbor says, oh, you'll be wanting to bury that cat, I reckon. And he goes, yeah, is there a pet cemetery around here? And he goes, yeah, there's a good pet cemetery. And then the really good pet cemetery. And he goes, can I bury it in the really good one? And he goes, yeah, I guess.

And they bury it there. But the thing with this pet cemetery is the dirt's magic or whatever. And the old fellow knows this. Yeah, I think it's a really, because he does, so he takes the protagonist. He's like, let's bury your cat. And then the cat comes back evil. And then the protagonist goes to the old man. And he goes, the cat came back evil.

And the old man goes, yeah, same thing happened to my dog. Yeah. It's like, why did you fucking let me bury the pet cemetery? Well, yeah. Yeah, animal comes back. He does hit him with the famous. Wow, sometimes Dad is better. He's giving a real.

He's getting a real. Hey, bury your cat in this graveyard. Oh, no, your cat's evil. Well, sometimes dead's better. I didn't ask to bring the cat back to life. You said, I just wanted to mourn. I just wanted to mourn. It's so funny that he turns like, well, you know,

why'd you bury it there? Sometimes Dad is better, pal. He said it was really good. And then his son gets. hit by a car and he goes, well, I've got that damn pet cemetery. If I bung my kid in there, I get my kid back. But sometimes dead is better because

the kid comes back evil and rotten. So, if we would... Rotten personality-wise or physically? Both. Yeah. So if we were to bury Harambe, who was already bad... Well, because the jury's... Was they bad? The jury is still out.

Think didn't a kid fall in? Yes. And he was caring for the kid. No, so this is where the jury... is still out. Five seconds either way, then we'd know. Caring for the kid in his own special way. Dragging along the ground time? At what point when a gorilla has a kid,

at what point are you pulling the trigger? Oh, instantly. Yeah, of course. I think if I'm sitting there with my zoo brand sniper rifle, and I'm from one of the watchtowers, and I've got my train... Taronga Zoo sniper rifle. Yeah, and I've got a train to Harumbe,

and Harambe's putting his big hand around the boy's head. And I'm going way... Yeah. He might be just giving him a muscle. I think, like, from afar, I'm like, well, I'd love them both to not die. Yeah, of course. And at the time, I remember thinking, why not a tranquilizer? They're like, they don't kick in instantly.

Yeah, exactly. And you just got, or it falls on him. Yeah, which I guess could happen as well if you kill it. Yeah, well, yeah, exactly. If I did a tracharonbe with his head around the little boy, and then he just falls asleep, but he's still got the little boy's head at his hand. But he's having, like, a nod-man. He's off, not me.

Well, yeah. He dreams that it's a big banana. Oh, no. He peels the little boy. Well, I mean, the shot is also a risk, because if it didn't kill Harambe straight away, it would have just enraged him. And, hey, what would you take your anger out on if you're holding a little boy? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

But yeah, basically, the jury's still out because, like, a lot of people have watched the footage have been like, Harambe was showing, like, nurturing tendencies and was trying, like, had recognized that the boy was a child. The straight prince. Yeah. That's what, that's a rhombie, I choose to believe in. That's nice. I kind of like, marry that, uh, that beautiful, like moment in, I think it's face off with John Travolta.

It's like, if the shot had been just like a little bit of an inch to the left, Harambe would have survived. Oh, dude. But you would have been dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Similar to the, uh, mighty ducks. Oh, yeah, exactly. If the puck was just an inch, it's an inch to the,

and then Charlie goes, but if it was inch the other way, it would have missed all together. Exactly. Well, I'd never thought about it like that. It's because Coach Bombay's a drunk. Yeah. People forget that. The reason he's coaching the Mighty Dogs is because he got a DUI. Yeah.

That's crazy. He's in those states, dude, to be coaching the Mighty Dogs. Yeah, like, don't say, hey, you've been really irresponsible and can't be trusted. Yeah. Coach these children. Hey, hey, they needed any help, dude. Anyhow. And then he abandons them immediately anyway.

Quack, Quack, Quack, Mr. Duckworth or whatever. Yeah. Quack, Quack, Mr. Duckwell. I reckon they saw the famous scene in Dead Poets Society. Yeah. And they said, how can we make that stupid? I want to make stupid Dead Poets Society. I like the idea of them watching Dead Poet Society and like, yeah, like one of the most important scenes of the movie being like, this is stupid.

We can go stupid. Yeah, exactly. Oh, Captain, my Captain. Yeah, shot up. Quack, quack. What if it said quack, quack, Mr. Darkwood. There we go. That's good.

Yeah, so, we don't know what Harambe was meant to do because, oh, not meant to do. I mean, what Harambe was meant to do was probably walk or walk to the other side of the enclosure. Yeah. No, but if I'd see that, I'd say that little boy is evil. Harambe had gotten up and turned around. The sniper turned around. Sniper, change a plan. Kill that evil little boy.

How old was the little boy? Three. Three. Oh, that's rough. And why was the boy in there? He was at the zoo and he just crawled through the gap and fell in. I feel like this is a, this is a zoo issue. They should have shot the parents.

Yeah. They should have shot the fence designer. Yeah. Absolutely. We're all in agreement. When they're a baby. Yeah. So they couldn't design any poor fence.

Smart. Smart. We've all got, yeah, as long as we're all on the same page. If you go back in time to find out, like, whoever designed the fence, would you go back in time and strangle that person as a baby and prevent this would happen? Of course. An age old question. Yeah. A classic hypothetical.

Mm-hmm. So we don't know if Hauronbe was going to kill the kid or not. But either way, we shot Hauronbe. Yes. And now the question is, what if you put Hauronbe, you buried him in that pet cemetery? Now, I have several questions again about the pet cemetery. Please. So now, when they come back to life or life, in quotation marks, do they gain extra powers?

Like, are they say more, do they have more super strength? Or do they have the gift of a gab? Do they have the gift of a gab? Or, I know they smell a bit funky. they do smell rotten and they just have an evil personality but if I say extra supernatural powers Or does he have all the natural powers of a gorilla? Yeah

I think they might be like slightly more durable But like I don't believe they've got like any supernatural powers Okay so how do we get rid of these Zombies again So they've come back to life and we're like How do we in the movie The most recent Pet Sametary movie they just don't Whoops.

I think if you, because they're just meat. So if you ran over, I think that they might kill the cat because it's just like, it's still just a cat. And so if you like exploded or hit it with your car or whatever, it will die. So I won't like terminate it to like melt back together. Because I'm just like worried, you know, once again. It's like how much damage could a gorilla, like an undead gorilla do to the small town of Maine?

How much damage could a regular gorilla's dog? Like, it's a sloppy girl because it's in good nick. It's in good nick. Probably you couldn't shoot this version of Harambe. Right. Because like it's... It's not a heart thing anymore. No, it's just like...

Probably the way to get rid of this undead harombe would just be to destroy as much of it as humanly possible. Often it would be like decapitating, right? Yeah, that probably would do the trick. You reckon? But maybe not a guarantee. Then you got two Harambe. Yeah, Horambe head and Harambe body.

Yeah. Well, I don't know if the head is the most... powerful. What's Herombe head doing? Like chomping? Chomping at you? Oh, okay. I thought you would think he's still got the brain of Arambe. He can start getting people around him. He'll form an army.

A cult of personality. He's got the gift of the gab now. He's a very charismatic gorilla. So the boy in the movie of the book did he have, was there any of him in there? Or is it just the form of the boy? So it's the form of the boy, but

he's got all the boy's memories. Because he goes, I'm your kid, I'm your kid. And then he's like, hey, you know, well, in the movie, I think it's the little girl. And she goes, I'm your kid, I'm your kid. Hey, you knew your grandma? You remember grandma? She's in hell. She's in hell.

And she starts stabbing her mom with needles and stuff. So they remember everything that the kid remembered, or that Harambe remembered, but they aren't Harumbe anymore. Right. Sometimes. And it takes a while for you to figure that out. Yeah, yeah. Because at first you're like, I can change it. Yeah, fuck you.

My son's back, dude. Oh, my gigantic gorilla's back. And now, one, I own a gorilla. So imagine the pussy I'm going to get. Okay. First of all, I'm going down to the club. Number one, the pussy. I go down to the bar at Castle Rock.

I go, hey, how you doing? And I open my wallet and I show a photo of my gorilla. Oh, you know, he's not with you. No, I don't bring him with me. That's a risk. That was a risk when he was alive. I'm like, what a wingman. Yeah, wow.

Now that's the other one. They go, that's terrible. That gorilla is on dead. What kind of evil would Harambe come back at? Is it going to be just, you know, the violent type? Or is it going to be, you know, psychologically kind of like mess with us? Is he going to start a cult? Like an evil cult?

He could do. Ali comes back incredibly mean and psychologically so. But also very violent. So kind of both, I guess. Would he pray on the elderly to, like, you know, run sort of? of an insurance scam. What's he doing here? I think he's sort of just like...

Hard cut and he's got one of those, you know, those marks, or whatever. Typing him. Are we doing like a... Is this Mrs. Robertson? Yes, this is Harambe from... Telstra. Telstra.

You're actually owe $180,000. We can make that really easily as go away for a small one-time fee. I've only... Maybe just like, look, hey, I've talked to my manager for a thousand dollars week he's make us all go away thousand dollars worth of iTunes

gift cards and this will all be swept onto the road don't worry about it yeah that's my gorilla yeah he's scamming the elderly do you want to drink he's really evil

he'll be waking through the night you want to come up to cut up to my room just side note and this isn't about the pet cemetery part but just like looking into the death of Farrambi first of all the boy was three

when that happened That means 13 this year. Wow. Damn. Imagine going to high school and being like, I killed Harambe. I killed Harambe. I'm the Harambe boy. But the boy climbed at three years old.

Yeah. Climmed a three foot tall wall. Crawled through four feet of bushes and then fell 15 feet into a moat. He wanted to get to Harambe. Yeah. That's what I'm hearing. And then... But maybe it was Harambe calling to it.

Yeah. Yeah. A little more. Yeah. Oh, no, we should have shot her off. Which is real, that's real Stephen King is as well, isn't it? Come on down to my little cage. Come up for swimming the moat, little boy.

Nothing bad, I don't know a lot of Stephen King, but Dave did a report on him in DoGo One recently. Yeah. Yeah. It did sound like a lot of his stories were like, I've got this scenario, but imagine if it went wrong. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a classic Stephen King. Yeah, what if everything's monkey poor?

Yeah, yeah. What if the scenario went wrong and everything was connected to the dark tower? Yeah, exactly. And he can't do endings is the other classic Stephen King thing. I've got to read under the dome. Under the dome's got to be the next book I read, dude. Because we've got to talk about being under the dome. Except it's like a 700-page book.

You're going to become a dome head? It's not appealing. Watch the TV series. I hear it wasn't very good. Yeah, exactly. Under the dome. Yeah, that's where the saints play. Hey!

Bring back the Telstra Dome. It is a dome, isn't it? Yeah. I still call it that. People hated when they called it the Telstra Dome. Why? I like it. Do people not like domes?

Is that what I'm here? The problem was there was Telstra Stadium in Sydney at the time? Well, I thought that people really hate it. My memory was like, oh, this is AFL, the ASEA for Australia. Why do we name it a Telstra Dome? It does sound American. It does it? Yeah.

But I think, I'm pretty sure it's just because there was already a Telstra Stadium. Yeah. We need to make it sound different. We don't have enough domes. I think it's cool. Marvel Dome? The Marvel Dome? The Marvel Dome.

Yeah, they're not complaining about it being named Marvel. Yeah, yeah. The most American company in the world. Harambe was in there with two other gorillas, but the other two guerrillas, the zoo officials were like, oh shit, kid in the moat.

Yeah. Gorillas get in this hole. And the other two guerrillas like, yeah, chill. And then Harambe was like, what's going on in the moat? Oh, damn. So Horambe had a chance to just go in the gorilla hall.

So did Harambe go to the moat? Well, the little boy went out of the moat. Harambe went into the moat. where the little boy was and then dragged a little boy out of the motor. Yeah. You should be out of shoot Harambe. Because I'm like, don't, because gorillas hate

water and moats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if he's going in there, something's happening. Yeah, exactly. That's maybe he's saving, but maybe he's found a new meal. He's, yeah. Yeah, they can't swim. Yeah.

The last week's episode, we did Tim Burton's Planet of the Age. And that was a big story point in that that they hated the water. I didn't realize that was based on truth. And I'm Australia's a permanent well exactly

you're amateur pharmatology professor ape it's also scary though because if I saw a gorilla or chimpanze yeah

professor the ex you know like they've done all sorts of Marvel versions only it's all ape is Professor X

Professor ape Oh that's good I hope probably to be my ape man oh oh my ape man oh

ooh ooh ooh ooh that'd be awesome Professor Ape, I love that. Professor Ape, I'd read any comic. Wouldn't even have to be an ape version of Professor X. I just read a comic called Professor Ape. And then imagine this.

You're at the university from earlier. You see, who do I have for Sociology 101? Professor Ape? And then he goes, no, he won't be. Surely not. Surely he's not. And then, oh, hoo, hoo, ho. You go, I'm not going to learn shit, but I'm going to have the greatest year of my life.

I guess this is my animal house. You just throwing books at you? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah, dude. college is awesome. How much are I paying for this? I should be paying more.

This is the best. You're hit the head by a textbook? Yeah, I guess. Yeah. What's up, dude? I'm just trying to figure out how you could use Harambe. Yeah.

Well, I mean, it's evil Harambe. You just got to put him in. It's what would happen, you know? It's not even, we don't have to find some benefit to it. We need to find some benefit. Because what would happen, Harambe comes out bad. Yeah.

They explore that pretty heavily in the movie and book. Hang on, though. But if you put a bad thing. Have they ever put a bad thing? Have they ever put, Oh, that's an interesting. And also, have they ever put a non-human primate in there? Because animal mammals turn bad.

Human primates turn bad. Maybe it's the opposite. Oh, he becomes good. Yeah. We get good harombe out of this. He wants to protect children. Because if you are making the argument that he's bad, I think you could argue all children to the age of, is it seven? They're good.

And once they're seven, they could be good or bad. Okay, yeah, fair enough. Okay. Is that, I vaguely remember this thing? Well, I know that's like, Seven's age of reason. Is that a real thing? I don't know.

I know there's like when they're two or three or whatever. That's when they're full on sociopaths. Yeah. Okay, right. They're full on evil. But you can't, I don't think that's on them. Yeah, no, that's just how we're our brains. At seven, they can choose to be evil.

Yeah. Okay. I really don't like what I found here. Yes, seven years old is widely considered the age of reason, both in developmental psychology. So, yeah, that's good. This next part, bad. Yeah.

And traditional Catholic canon law. What does that mean? I guess that means the church when you, is that when you? That's when you're allowed to say, so you're baptized because I, oh, yeah, actually. Is that not the first one way? Yeah. Might be First communion. Are you all baptized?

Yeah. God damn it. Brother, you got to get in the oil or whatever they baptize you in. I think they really deep fried. I think that's what happened. Yeah. A priest had me you got me

to a KFC order. Baptise and the fish and chips shot. He was there was South Melbourne

dimies. Yeah. You've got it in putting in. South Malvin Duchy. Holy now. That's so funny.

No, they baptize you in water but then they put oil on your head. Yes, yeah, yeah. But the idea of a priest being like

you're watching your baby, they dunk you in a bunch of they put me in like one of those fry buckets fry bostes. Yeah, wait a second.

Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Is this a church or a KFC? C. Fuck. He's loving it. I see he's standing

for church. Yeah, I thought it was Kentucky fried church. Fish and church. Fish and church. I thought, like, I'm working. Next year, Solish, I think it's going to be

about growing up Catholic and I'm definitely going to be exploring such things. So any of these rifts, just, uh... I'm just saying any of these rifts legally. You were part of.

Exactly. So you have at least a quarter ownership of them. And you can buy the rest of us. I'm thinking, yeah, fish in church, the whole, you know, how he made a bunch of fish or whatever. Well, yeah, there's something there, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fish and church. Fish and church. Fish and cross. I mean, that might not work for every crowd, but. Very specific one. That'll tickle them. You know, you come out and you got to be relatable. Like, hey, you guys ever done this?

You guys knew Joel Dusha? No. Who here knows Jol Dush? You know Joel Duce? And do you know the South Melbourne market and they have a specific kind of, Dim sim. This actually works really well for me because a lot of my pre-teen

two early teenage years was spent in South Melbourne. Whoa, eating South Melbourne Dimpsons? Oh, I went crazy on them. What do you reckon? South Melbourne Dim Sim better than traditional? Yeah. Yeah, me too. But South Melbourne Dim Sim, like a normal dim sim.

Yeah. Also, steam dimson over fried dixim. I would agree. As a kid, I disagree. I would say, yes. I reckon I could eat. Any dumplings the same. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I don't know. No, for me I'm 50-50 on the dumpling front. Interesting. Depends on the mood. I'm like a steam dumpling. Yeah, I much prefer steamed. South Melbourne market dim sims.

I reckon I could eat three. Yeah. With a normal steam dimson, steamed dimson. Yeah, steamed dimson. Yeah, steamed to dimson. Oh, there we go. There's another potential show title. Steamed dims in there.

Steamed dims in. Oh my God. South Melbourne do you should. Did it work. Okay, what about this? I'm not only using that. I'm naming the show. No.

Steamed Jimson. It's like, how does he get to this? The posters made just like My body is wrapped up in the Dimmed out of PACE

Yeah Yeah I don't know I've got to see this Halo but also devil horse Yeah Yeah

Yeah yeah What the fuck Is he trying to say What could this show possibly be about? I've got to go see to find out I got to know

I got to know Selling out the entire run Mostly have people been like I look To be honest I wasn't even going to go to the comedy first to full stop. Saw this confusing poster.

I need to get in there. Is he going to be in costume the whole time? It made me hungry and then curious. But yeah, normal dimsims, 10. South Mabba Market Tim Sims, two to three. As a man who recently for our sister show Baseless speculation had to eat 40 chicken

nuggets, anytime a claim like that is made now, I really want to put you to the test. Ten dimsims does sound easy though. At no, no, no, no, no, no, no. At no point did I say it was easy. I just said I I think when I was a teenager because I had a friend

shout at Max. Teenagers are also fucked up. Oh yeah. They can just eat heaps. He would have money for lunch. I probably told the story before. But he would have money for lunch. I had no money.

And the money was to like buy a pie and a drink and stuff. And I was like, you just spend it all on dim zims. And so we'd get this disgusting plastic bag full of about like 25 dim zims. And then we'd go sit under some stairs

somewhere and just suck them down. I know. Suck them down. Why, you're a sucking a man. Yeah. To international listeners, Howie, they're just like, they're very similar to other dimsams or something.

Yeah, they're like a kind of cabbagey dumpling. What would the mate be? I don't know with them pork probably. Yeah. Does South Melbourne do veggie ones as well, I think? Yeah, I think so. I imagine some places do, I think they do.

It's making me hungry to dames. It's usually pork and or beef combined with cabbage seasoning and some, Why am I trusting AI here? Shut up. Shut up. Why they went to a Vietnamese place. Yeah.

They had like, you know, they're in like sort of dim sim there. They're like, oh, I could do that. It's a different batter. What? Interesting. Very interesting. They're evolving. They're evolving.

The dim sims are evolving. We're getting variations that I'm happy about it. Well, who claims, is this one of the ones where like different people are claiming? I think a dim sim. No, dim sim was invented in Victoria. Yeah. But normally there'll be two fish and chips. And they'll be on the same street or something.

Yeah. You went to like what, where did the dim sim come from? My favorite is, I think it's in Minnesota. Yeah. There's a local delicacy called the Juicy Lucy. Oh, yeah. And it's like a cheese burger, but the meat patty has a ball of cheese in it inside of it before it's cooked. So it's like this hot liquid cheese inside so you bite it and hot cheese sort of bursts out.

And there are two different places. Yeah. like really close to each other who both swear that invented it. That's so funny. And one of them who I think might be the real one misspelled, didn't have the eye and juicy. And their advertising says, if it's spelled right, it's not the original.

Okay. I would, yeah, not one to make that claim. That sounds bad to eat. So, the inventor of the dim sim is also the father of Elizabeth Chong, who was the first Australian celebrity chef. Whoa, that's huge. Napo Shaf. Yeah.

Naposhaf. She was on Good Morning Australia, which means she knows Kariyanne and probably hates her. Yeah. Wait, good morning Australia. That was Bert Newton. Oh, wait. Yeah. Probably knows...

Moonface. Yeah. What's the... Who was in the gift shop? I don't know. Not with M. Mortissure or something? I got no idea. We're going over to Mortissure in the gift shop.

Bert used to play it at hand. It was almost like a parody of those kind of shirt. Oh, that's great. But as a kid, I didn't get it. Yeah. I see clips. I'm like, he is just. taking the piss.

It's just really fun. That's awesome. Forget what I don't know. But yeah, there was a... Some people would be yelling their iPod. Oh, for sure. And then, like, the vast majority listeners would be like,

what the fuck are you talking? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Talk about a room. Who? Who? What's a dim see? What's a burnt new?

Yeah. I remember looking up kind of recently the origin of the Chico Roll. Oh, yeah. And I believe that was like the Melbourne show or some, maybe the Sydney show, something like that. And they were like, we need a robust, like, spring roll, basically.

They're like, it needs to be heavy duty. Because otherwise it's going to get crushed and destroyed. And that's where the Chico came from. Chico rolls are good. Underrated. I also love a corn jack, but I believe that's unpopular. Yeah, like a potato cake. But the Melbourne potato cake.

Chicken roll was invented in Bendigo. Whoa. Am I right that it was like a... The Bendigo show? Yeah. I feel like I read about that. this semi-reasingly. It was for catering at football matches and other outdoor events.

Okay. Yeah, well, that makes that thrust. Yeah. It was invented as a rivalry to Chinese chop suey rolls that were being sold outside of punt road oval. Whoa. And now you can find it in any fish and chip shop in Australia. But then

the chikko roll did debut at the Wagga Wagga Agriculture Show in 1951. I love that. You know, there's all these great stories about things debut at world fairs. Yeah. But like, you know, like there's a story that the first ice cream cone,

I don't know if it's apocryphal or not, but supposedly one story is that there was a waffle guy next to an ice cream guy. Oh, that's awesome. And they were like, hang on a second. But these like huge important things and all like scientific advances. The awful tower and stuff. But we've got Wagga Wagga Show, the Chick-a-Roll. The Chick-a-Role.

I put that up against all of them. It is as iconic as the ice cream. I love the idea of the two, like, you know, the guy, waffle guy, the ice cream guy, they go, let's combine. And then two other guys were stuff that can't combine seeing. Yeah, they're like, oh. Wait, what about jelly and hot dog? The jelly hot dog. Oh, fuck.

We were wrong. There's a bad combination of text. We put everything into this. We should have tested a one. Got all those long weekends away. My kids don't even know who I am anymore. Oh, the life savings have gone. A hot dog.

I took it out of my super. Do you reckon there would be something too, like, jelly in the shape of a hot dog, with hot dog flavored. Oh, yeah. In a bun. No. Why? Yeah, I think so.

Is that consistency good for you? No, I'm just exploring. Like, what kind of jelly as well? Have you heard? Like, sloppy jelly or hard set jelly? Oh, that's a hard set. Either way is bad. Sloppy would be better, honestly.

Yeah, to be honest. But like, my hard set jelly encased in a bread roll? Sloply jelly on top of the hot dog then. Oh? Yeah, it's a condom. Like a chutney. Yeah, well, that would be fun.

It's a dessert hot dog. What about you have the hot dog casing and inside is... Yeah, a jelly that is hot dog flavor. Yeah, so it's a dessert dog. No, but he says it's a hot dog flavored. You were saying dessert dog, I'm like, let's explore this. Hot dog flavored still.

I think we've already got... I think hot dogs are already hot dog flavored. Yeah. So you're just... changing the texture to be weird enough. Yeah. Yeah. Because when you bite into a hot dog that's boiled properly,

it kind of does burst a little bit. Yeah. But imagine it was liquidier. Yeah. But why would I want that? Just imagine it though. Yeah. You'd not, just think about it.

Also, I mean... Imagine biting it as the skin pierces is scalding hot hot dog juice. Why don't you just... It's hot jelly. Yeah. Hyping hot. Now we're getting into like jelly donut territory jelly. Like a jam.

Yeah. Well, what about a cinnamon donut that's full of this hot dog jelly instead of jam? And it tastes like a hot dog, you say? So now it's a cinnamon hot dog. What do you want that? Well, that one I'm not opposed to. Okay, what about just a hot dog in, say, like, a cinnamon scroll? Well, I once had, I went to a bakery somewhere and they gave me a hot dog that it was kind of like fucking a cinnamon donut. You do see that, like, I think even bakers to what? I don't have like a little Frankfurt hot dog inside of a dining.

They just put a hot dog in it. And they're like, there you fucking go. You used to famously call those like dog dick something. No, that's something else. There was a donut you could get that was in the shape of a dog's penis, unintentionally. What's a dog? How's a dog's penis look like?

I'm glad you are. I know they're not as red rockets, right? But I thought it was just the color that was different. No, it's got a kind of like lump at the base. I've never looked at that closely. I could not describe a dog's penis. But you've had dogs, I imagine Yeah, of course

You've jacked off dogs I've had dogs You've had a dog notches on my belt I've had a couple dogs What's your dog body can't Oh, I will On a dog in you, okay What does he mean by it?

No, I do see, I mean it's, well Get a dog up here, what does that phrase? What does that mean? Go fuck a dog? Is that what that means? Why does he keep saying that? He's like, Yeah, no worry I will. What does that actually?

mean? Does that mean have a beer or does that Get a dog up, y'all? What is... I don't know, but it is a phrase. It's just phrase, right? Yeah, get a dog up, yo. What is, maybe it's cocky-rhy rhyming slang. Dog, log, log, frog. Dog, frog up, yeah. Hog. Get a dog. Dog, get a dog. Dog, bug, bug. Bog. Slog. Dog. Egg Egg no. Egg no. A drink of egg. Yeah, get a dog up, yeah. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. To Americans, you were saying jelly. Yeah.

And then you're saying like P, P and J. Pee and J. Pee and J. Peanut and jelly, though. Peanut and jelly. Peanut and jelly hot dog, yes. Is jelly like a direct, for them, a direct translation of jam? I believe so. And then Jello is jelly.

Is jelly to us. I love, I genuinely do love these. little differences. Oh, me too. I just looked into it as the person with a laptop. Get a dog up you. Can be used in two different ways. Okay. So... One of them is Jack. Yeah, yeah.

One of them is pretty much go and get fucked. Sorry if swearing's not usually big on primates. I have said that a few times. Yeah. They hate me in school. And I like that actually. I don't want to talk to school children. Yeah, fair enough. Fair. Fair. And the other one is like have a drink.

Okay. Oh, of course. Very different. So like if someone hears you a drink and says, get a dog up here, that's good. But if someone says, go get a dog up here. Get fucked. Where does the drink? Hair of the dog.

Hair of the dog. Where does that come from? We're going to chase this all the way. The big bang. Because what did, yeah, where does a dog to mean a beer? Like in some weird... Hair of the dog. Which hair of the dog

that bit you. Yeah. So... Oh, it comes from a rabies treatment. What? You would eat the dogs? Oh, no, yeah, it does. No, no, no.

If you got bit by a dog with rabies, you'd then put the hair of the dog on the wound. Yeah. What the fuck? The head of bit you. And I'm guessing it's not a real thing. No.

There's a lot of different ways to cure like the wives tales or whatever, like things we're used to try and cure rabies. We did? Somebody got cured of rabies recently, it happened maybe a couple times. Yeah. If the one I'm thinking about

where they basically give them the flu, or they give them like another virus, because then it cooks them in a way. It's like, so we know the human brain can survive at say this temperature and the rabies virus can survive at this temperature, which is a little bit lower. So if we cooked a human brain just a little bit... Yeah, I think that's the protocol that happened

because I think it was a little girl got bit by a bat, I believe, and it's like in America, and that's how they sort of was like, we're going to try, it's the only thing we got, we're going to try this. And I think it's maybe... That's the protocol they do. And I think it's only worked maybe a kind of, couple times. It's still not perfect. No, but if you haven't shown, well, that's what the cemetery's

doing, just giving the rabies? Well, I'm kind of circle back to rabies because that's what we'll talk back to rabies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait, I'll tie it together, don't you worry? I've been listening mostly. I got phasing you, brother. Uh, so when we were talking about how gorillas and chimpanzees are really, like, usually would avoid water and scared of water. Yeah. I didn't know that, but I know that that is a symptom of rabies. So if I saw a gorilla that was scared of water, I would get so So it's actually nice to know. Because like, guerrillas... Not if you're on the other side of the water.

Yeah, thank God that gorilla has rabies. Am I right, everybody? Well, that's what the movie primates about. What if a monkey had rabies? Damn, dude. Not good news from any people. Yeah, I don't imagine. It's funny you say that you didn't know that

because this reminds me of an age-old plumbing the death start debate by age-old, I mean, probably within the last two years, where I said the motes around the chimpanzee enclosure are there so that the chimpanzees can't escape because they know if they go in the water they'll drown because they can't swim and then I believe the Joel said that can't be true

they can't be expecting that the chimpanzees will drown so that that's why they're key they have like build the motor around it but I I think that might have rejected like shut up a second yeah well like again it's one of those things we're like surely not but no they just are because of the way their body structure is and the density of their muscles and whatever you can't swim they just don't swim

yeah evolution gave them trees and gave us water. Yeah, nice. I know which one I'd prefer. Does that mean anyone that's like, if people are scared of the ocean now, they're just closer to our ancestors than we are? And if somebody loves trees, same thing. Yeah. How many across the country, across the world, let's say, how many apes are buried in pet cemeteries? So like when Michael Jackson's chimp dies, when bubbles dies, where's he going? Dricking bubbles will pop up in the, the movie file? Probably.

On the Lolita Express? Bubbles the chip? Is Michael Jackson in there? Bubbles, get out of there. Oh, photos. But there's not enough. And people have been like, actually, this shows that Michael Jackson was innocent. And I don't think that is.

That is such a crazy way of you. Let me tell you, don't worry about it. Because people on the internet aren't well. It's a bad place to be. I never end up. feeling good about it. You should try doing what I've done there where I'm just doing a podcast while looking at photos of dim sims. Oh, God.

Well, you're on the nice side of the internet. Yeah, yeah. I'm on the zoom side. Yeah. I have fantasies of just throwing my like phone in a lake. Yeah. Oh my god, imagine, dude. I think my dream fantasy would be to be on a roller coaster that has a loop to loop.

And as I'm at the apex of the loop, the phone falls out of my pocket. But then when I come down again, the phone hits me on the head of it. Oh, thank God my phone's gonna, like, be away from me. Oh, dog. Embadded in my head and then I pull into the station, Dad. And they go, he did he, we say don't bring your phone. This is why. This is why.

There was one roller coaster. I was watching a video about this. And this is back on the bad side of the internet. There was one roller coaster that had blinded, it got turned into a, it got turned into a Harry Potter roller coaster. How did it blind people? It was a jewelling dragons roller coastercy, which is... Joe, like on piano. It was dragon themed.

Yeah. But it had two carts going opposite directions. Oh, no. And when they pass people in the front seat twice, and I think the space of four or five years got blinded because someone had either drop something or intentionally thrown something into them. Oh, my God. Because they're like, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Like, I'll get them forgetting that, like a coin or something like that is all. That's crazy. God, dang. Roller cases are fucking dangerous. Rollercoasters are fucking dangerous. Yeah, but they're fucking awesome. They're fun as fuck, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.

I also think, like, if you found out that there'd never, ever been an incident on a roller coaster, they wouldn't be as fun. Yeah, oh, of course. You need a bit of the feel. Yeah, like, maybe today's my day. Yeah, exactly. Maybe I'm going to get stuck upside there.

Maybe I'm going to get my own phone embedded in my skull. I saw a video, speaking of rides that are broken. I saw a video the other day of, like, one of those rides where you're, like, strapped in, but, like, you're, you're, you're, bodies like fully you know what I mean you're not in seat you're just kind of strapped in

your feet are dangling but it was also one where the thing you were strapped to like rotated and it had stopped so there was a bunch of people on their side on the diagonal no like literally like horizontal but on the side in the air

and it was like they were like there for like 10 minutes that would be uncomfortable oh the call and there were other people upside down and other people right way up but upside down how can you be upside down before you start losing consciousness

which you prefer to be be upside down or sideways? Sideways is the funniest. Because like your whole body would be, your legs would be curving. Initially you would have like tense to kind of like, but I got no core strength. Eventually your knees just snap.

However your shoes. I'm wearing silk out boots in this scenario. Oh, weighted steeled boots. I know yeah, I'm wearing those weighted ankle things. Could not have picked a worst. Middle age. Yeah. I really wanted to, you know, strengthen my ankles today for some reason.

Exactly. I'd say like metal-aged people where, as if I'm not a middle-aged person. You know, they're middle-aged people. It's so weird that middle-aged people are now elderly. What are they doing? What is the hell they doing? Yeah, but how many apes are buried in pet cemeteries across the world do you reckon? Bobbles?

What are pet cemeteries? They're not. It's a cemetery for a pet? Outside of what the name. What the name says in the tin. Okay. So we... We don't have any here.

I've never seen one. Yeah, we do. I've been to a pet cemetery that's here. This episode is about pet cemeteries with an S, but pet cemeteries with a sea are real. Yeah. They're often unofficial. That's the kind of thing about them.

The one I went to... Well, because of what happened in May. Well, exactly. You don't want that to happen. Yeah. The one I went to, it was like you go to the cemetery. I forget where this was. It might have been on holiday and quiz.

You go to the cemetery when I was very little, and then there was like a little secret path, and you went on, and then there's like a little clearing with like clearly homemade, like, wooden tombstones and stuff. Yeah, that people have buried their animals in. Well, Bubbles are still alive. Do you reckon Travis is buried in a pet cemetery? I don't know. Or if it's a bad chimp, do you mince it or something? I don't know. Cremade it? Yeah, cremated is maybe a better move. I don't know. Well, it's great. Unless you're making dim sims. Whoa. Yon yom. Yeah, like, yeah. Yeah, like, I don't think you can eat. I don't think they recommend against it, yeah.

I say probably too chewy. Too chewy. Not a good cut, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, it feels like there are some pets that if you have exotic pets, like a pet cemetery. Well, it feels though, like also maybe it's like, well, I'll, you know, getting it taxidermied.

Yeah. Feels like it would make more sense if you had an exotic pet versus you had like a very true or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to be like, well, he's gone in the pet cemetery. But my gorilla. Yeah, my gorilla, I get taxidermy, you didn't have him permanently at the end of the bar.

I feel like... I'm just drinking. I'm just drink up like this. Because I have a freak. The only pet... Cheers, I know. Are in people's backyard. Yeah, yeah.

Bering a chimpanzee in the backyard feels crazy. Although, how do you... If you have a pet ape somehow. Like, what ends like, okay, it's going to do end of his life. He's got... How do you think of Joel is your pet ape? Sometimes. In a way.

In a way. In a way. But he's got a ape Alzheimer's saying. He'd brag is complimentary. Oh. You got to remember his same. saying it. Yeah. That's true. Professor Ape. Go on.

And like, you know, you say you, you give you dog sick or whatever. Yeah. Like, it's the end of its life. You can take it to the vet to be like taking your chimp or taking your ape to the vet and be like, hey, he's just not doing well. So can you, you know. I don't think I could, because like you take your, like a dog or like a, like a guinea pig or something like that, they don't know what's happening. They're like, I'm tired and I'm in the car. Great. If I'm in, I'm driving and I look in the rear of your mirror and I see the chip in the back seat, And that gleam of intelligence in his eyes. He's crying.

He knows. He knows I'm taking him to get him killed. He's like, yeah. That's Coco, Sam. Where are we up to? Where are you taking me, Jackson? Nowhere, dude. Just bring that.

I'm lowered the window. I know how much you love it. It better not be to kill me. I noticed you made my favorite meal. Why are you crying, Papa? No reason. Well, if he's just... I like to think that you're all right.

I call you Papa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I dress him up like a little boy. Give him a big lolly park And I go to the park Ringlets as well And he's got like a little sailor boy outfit And I take him to the park

And I let him play with the other children And I sit down and I You know like you sit down next to the parent And they go which one's yours? I preempt that by going That one's mine See the ape? That's my son

Yeah That's Mingus my boy Yeah It's funny I can't remember much of the Harambe story But we did a full episode on this episode 32, I just looked it up where I, me and guest Angus Gordon talked about the whole story.

Yeah. I don't recall it that well. Harambe was the day after Harambe's 17th birthday. Oh, the age of ape reason. Happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday. Here's one single bullet in the brain. What's the average age of an ape?

I don't know. I got distracted by looking at a photo of Travis. Look at this. Well, I try to remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus, Travis was a scary-looking chimpanzee. Where's my phone? I mean, that's just...

How long do apes live? I'm betting 40 years old. That's... Travis, just a reminder, is the ape... The chimpanzee that tore off Oprah's friend's face. Was that... Is that the sort of the one that Nope is based on... Yeah.

35 to 40 years. So it's a prime ape. Okay, yeah. Oh, my God. A Pokemon. Damn, dude. That's why it was about hard... Yeah, I was getting around halfway.

But some ships lived in nearly 80s, so... Yeah. Gorilla that was 67. Anyway, yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, so basically, kid fell in the... It's a meme, right?

Yeah. Dix out for her on it. It's Bruce Willis. Okay. And he's going, Six cents. That I mean? That's a lot.

I think it's really good. I don't think it's just Justin Tom. I think it's really good. I think it's a good one. Sixth sense. Six cents. Really, really, really horrible to think about Bruce Willis doing that. now with like a gleam of don't really know

yeah someone yeah someone's behind the camera and go on go on say it do it do the thing do the thing six cents is Haley Joel Osmond there too imagine this is the reuniting everyone's sad yeah this is like when Stan Lee was dying yeah six cents six cents I think it's

really good I really like it yeah well it's on the record now yeah yeah yeah yeah got that out of my brain yeah good good good so I guess yeah if we buried harumbe I think he would go on some sort of rampage? Yes, absolutely.

Well, yeah. Take out his revenge on little boys? I think, on everyone. Yeah. Joey zookeepers are stuck on missing in the night. First in Ohio. Yeah. And then, you know, just around the world.

Any, any, toronto? Fence designers. Those, like, you see those, like, temporary fences. Yeah. You know, it's like temporary fences. It's always like a sign of, like, the company that's like, who it belongs to. He's like, they're getting got. And then I reckon he gets the 13-year-old, now 13-year-old boy and

climbs up to the top of the Empire State building. Yes, and King Kong's it. Absolutely. And we get planes to take him down like King Kong, even though he's regular. This time we're like, we're not going to make a mistake and we shoot the boy. I guess that's where his power. I think they're working together, which we might have. Honestly.

It was like, you know, twice as more than acquitted. Exactly. If I saw Harambe and the little boy, now 13-year, the teenage boy together, I would think the teenage boy had brought him back. That would be my assumption. I'd be like he's resurrected him for reconciliation maybe. It's nice that, you know, he grew up to be a dark waller. Yeah, exactly. He's resurrected from the dad, Harambe.

I mean, the amount of distance the boy had to travel to get in there is pretty surprising for a three-year-old. So it does feel like destiny. Yeah, yeah. I think that their fates are intertwined Harambe and the little boy. I think you're right saying that, because, yeah, it'll come back good. Harambe be back good. But I don't think that rules out the fact that he's going around killing fence makers.

Yes. Who are evil. Yeah. What are they trying to keep us out of? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fences, they divide us. Exactly. Yeah, center us sit on fences.

Yeah, exactly. Pick aside. You know, the world's going to shit. We need you to pick aside. You know which side you should pick. Yeah. You know you want to pick it. But you know you don't.

Exactly. I should say the correct one. I'm sitting on the fence. Look, I mean, I don't want to point any fingers, but during World War II, what was probably the worst place to be, and what was that surrounded by a fence. Oh, that's true, dude. That's true.

Fence is a bad. Trenches are also like an inverted fence. Yeah, exactly. And that were full of misery. Yeah, dude. Fence is a bad. Fuck fence makers. Exactly.

Fuck fence makers. And like a wall. We're talking about a wall. Oh, the wall. Tear down the wall, which is basically a very long fence. A long thick fence. A long thick fence.

And what did Jackson's friend run on the platform of doing, building a wall? And we said Jackson stopped supporting. He's a dear friend of mine. That 50% of the Primex audience love that guy. I consider him a dear friend. I don't agree with everything

he says, but I consider him a dear friend. We don't talk politics when we catch up for dinner. Yeah, that's not what it's about. Okay, when I go to the Mar-a-Lago and, you know, hang out, I go, no politics today. Can I catch that plate again?

Jackson. It's a cool play. I just like the cool play. I like to call play. I like Heights. So good to see you again, Jackson. I just don't think you should have on the plane. I don't go to the island.

Just the plane? You get him to call your papa? Yeah. Yeah. I think the names of the island is less intimidating than the plane. It'd be better. No.

I was going to be better to go to the island. That's not true. Take out and put us up to it. Yeah, exactly. I'm there to say, guys. God. What of this? Have we considered what we're doing?

Yeah. This is fucking. This is horrible. This is no good. I'm going to take me. Me and Minkis are going to get on that plane. What's it called again? Okay, yeah, we're going to get him that plane.

Okay. I mean, it's a famous Russian novel. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, we're going to get that plane and get out of you. Come on, Mingus. Come on, Mingus. That's also a funny, like, no one's tried that defense.

A lot of people said we didn't know what's happening. Yeah. No one's been like, I knew what was happening. And I got on that plane so I could go put a stop to what's going on the island. I kept telling them this is not on. I went there to hold them accountable. Yeah. I sounded excited.

Yeah. No, no, no. When I signed off yippee, I was actually just excited to go give him a piece of my mind. Which I did. Unfortunately, he wouldn't listen. Yeah, I gave him such a piece of my mind. I mean I'm chipping away to me. I could see it.

It's a war of attrition. Yeah, I was changing his mind bit by bit. I can tell. I can tell. It's two steps forward. It was like when I created windows. It took a lot of work. It did.

It did. Anyway, honey, can you just take these pills for no reason? No reason. Don't worry about it. Harambe, rest in peace. I think people think you're a good ape. I think you're a bad ape. I think you're going to kill that little boy.

I think apes have no morality. And I think an ape was just going to do what an ape does. That's what's the fence makers. Actually, there is something that Harambe was doing moments before he was killed, which I think is funny. Yeah. kept making the little boy, like, sit, and if the boy tried to stand or lay down,

he would either prop him up to sit, and if he stood, he'd just push him down. I said, gent, like, no. I think, I think briefly, that kid had the best parent he ever had. Yeah, absolutely. Rombay was not letting him out of his side. You would not have let him climb a fence.

Man, that kid, no therapist, no psychologist is prepared for that kind of trauma. Well, I think he needs to go to an ape therapist. That's what I'm thinking. Like a professor ape. Yeah. Yes. Well, surely they would have ape psychologists at the zoo.

Like if you've got a... I mean literally an ape. Oh, yeah. You know, a coat. Oh, yeah, a little tweed jacket with leather elbows. He's got their notepad. And you, like, look at the notepad when you get up and he's just like, he's drawing bananas or something. And he goes, I don't think this guy...

Tim Allen. If we can't get an ape dog up, we get the next best thing. You go, yeah, I don't know. Is this my relationship with my father? I don't know if that's the reaction I want from my therapist. Don't you, in this show, normally you go around the room and each of you have what you think would happen, is that? Sometimes that happens, yeah.

The competition sometimes is it? There's a lot of different variations of the plumbing the death style formula. Sometimes it's a chat. I love that. I think I've only ever interacted with the other version of it. Yeah. I might as out of myself as someone who doesn't listen to every episode. I mean, it's crazy to add yourself as someone who listens to any episode.

Yeah. Well, I've certainly been all the ones I've been inside of it. Oh, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Inside. Like that live Adelaide one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we definitely have had moments where at least one of us probably wasn't actually listening to the episode that was happening around.

Yeah. Absolutely. Like if they've got dim sims on their screen. Yeah, Tim Sims on the screen. Sometimes we've just got people just not listening. Yeah. It's hard of comfort. an hour.

Yeah. Sometimes you zone out, you start thinking about other stuff. You start imagining salads you could make. Yeah. It's real easy. Oh, chimp would be great at tossing a salad. Yeah.

What about scrambling eggs, Fraser style? Yeah. Oh, chimp would be great at that? Yeah. Would you eat chimp scrambled eggs? Toss salad and scrambled eggs? Tuss salad and scrambled eggs.

They'd be doing it hands. That's the end of dinner. Yeah. Oh, just the chimp tossing salad is real bad. We all weren't there. We all imagine. Oh, I didn't know.

I forget that that means eating ass. Eating us. Rimming. Rimming. The act of rimming. That's tossing salad. There must have been the longest journey to get to that. Yeah.

How did that look at that? Well, I imagine it's like your tongue. Yeah. It's like the salad tongs. Yeah. And the salad is your asshole. I guess. Yeah.

And I look, like I say, I don't edit this. So I'm sorry to those who are eating a salad right now. Yeah. Or who are eating salad right now. You're tossing salad right now. Well, no, I don't apologize. They're loving it. Oh, that's what they're...

Interesting. Oh, I didn't know. sounding very ape-like. It's like, Oh, oh, oh. Oh. Huh? Can you not do that in my... Can you not Tim Allen into my ass?

1970s is when it originated. What? America. People are just like, I... Hmm. I guess, like, the asses, the salad greens. So well before Frasier Toss salad and scrambled eggs

Exactly Scrampled eggs must have now got it Well, sure love tossing salads And that's like a cup of the point That's what I've always thought That Fraser is describing a sex move you could theoretically do Which would be like a rusty trombone With ballplay

Yeah Toss Allen scrambled eggs Good night Seattle They call it again Yeah It's like a move you could do You could say I'm doing the Frasier Crane The trombone

The trombones have buttons. I believe it. Because like, you know, the trombones goes long on and that's more shaft work. Yeah. That's the rusty butt. But they don't scramble to eggs. Look, if we want to get into it, the rusty trombone traditionally is a hand job with ass eating at the same time. You asked.

You brought it up. Yeah. I thought you knew that. I'm now going to have to put a trigger warning on this. Trombone warning. Brass. You know. trigger warning and content warning.

I was going to say it to be like, hey, if you're triggered by... All our brass players out there, jazz players, musicians in general. It's funny, your primates has a content warning and is not edited. Formula of the dust are tightly edited. No warning. If you're shocked by the mention of a rusty trombone, that would surprise. We started with Rogan fucking a horse and here we... And somehow this is worse.

I don't know. Can you guys help me write the content warning? How should it be worded? Okay. Hey listeners, before we get into today's primate episode, just a quick content warning. I am joined by Plumbing the Death Star, and they keep running their terrible mouths.

So if content such as fucking a horse or getting jacked off or getting your ass eaten is upsetting to you, consider skipping this episode. No, you can't put the things in the warning. I also really like that he was being used. I didn't even notice that. He was talking about it. He's still your identity for the content water.

I meant a written one as well. Remember, I do not edit this. Hey, I'm Matt Stewart. Hi, I'm host of that. I've been a podcast Matt Stewart. Yeah, so look, everyone had a good time today. And if you buried Harambe, it would either go good or bad. It depends on how you believe.

I just don't think it's got any way of going good. It's only going to be bad. He's going to come out of the ground and tear your head and balls off. Yeah. He's going to grab you from either end. He's going to grab you from either end. He's going to have a hankering for some top salad and scrambled eggs. And you're going to be like, ooh.

And you're going to be like, oh. And then you're going to be dead. And he's going to be like, oh. I got my eggs scrambled by her off there. And he was not gentle. Yeah, you're going to walk into a bar, bow-legged, sit down, and make this face. Oh.

Someone's like, what happened? You're like, my balls. Well, just scrambled by a gorilla. Great question. Also, my anus no longer exists. Gorilla lips? He lit it clean off. He just...

He kissed it clean off. It's clean gone. I heard of the kiss of death, but this was ridiculous. And you see a rhomba? He's got your anus on. He's just got his pucking up expression. Yeah. But it examines asshole.

You know, like Northern Territory? You can get like a bottle open with like a kangaroo. There's a rhombie. He's your nuss lips and he's got like a little like a new can opener and you're like a bottle open and you're like, looks good on you, mate. Nice, man. Real cool.

And this is what you voted for on Patreon as the fourth most requested topic of April. Thank you so much plumbing the desktop for joining us. I see why they got four. But surely the person who picked this is going to be jumping with glee. Oh, L. Beets. This is the episode Al Beans. Well, honestly. Al Beets wanted.

Because they could vote. It was open to all listeners that they could vote for as many of the options they wanted. This got like over 50% of the vote. So more than more than one in two wanted this. Yeah. How did we get four? One in two. No, would you hear the first bit?

You could vote for as many as you wanted to. Yeah. But then how is that out of a hundred? You mean over 50 votes or out of 50%? But you could vote for multiple. Yeah, but that's still... Do you guys understand this? That means it's an interesting way of doing a vote.

Okay, say over 100% got... Wait, what... No, I get over 100%. So say there's three options. Okay. And 10 people vote. Five of them go for option one and two. I understand what you're saying.

Four of them go for. Over 50% of the listeners voted for this, but you could vote for multiple options. Not this was the 50. We didn't score 50% of the total vote. No. No, you got 50% of voters. Yeah.

Toded for us. Yes, okay. 50% of our people who are like, please don't. Yeah, please. Well, why don't they just like the other things? Yeah. Well, on that note, I've been Joel and Matt.

I've just been Jacks. I've also just been a Joel. And I've been watching me. Watching you. Wow. And I've got the greatest view from here. But the way we finish primates, doche is we always sign off with our classic sign-off phrase,

which you just riff in the moment, but I pretend that it's real. Thanks so much for joining us, plumbing the Death Star Boys. Go listen to their, they've got, what, six, 700 episodes? Six, seven. Six, seven. Six, six episodes. Oh, no.

Six cents. Six cents. And I, I've been on a bunch of them, A lot of them are ape related. Also, a lot of the ape things we talked about today have been previous primates episodes, including the Patterson Gimley film. Yeah.

Getting fruity. With Matt and the boys. We got to do a fruit salad episode. That's a great idea. Toss fruit salad. And Harumba. Have you done one on Travis? That one's a bummer.

Yeah. I don't think we have, but I think Zoe B has been on and talked about it briefly. That would make sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but generally speaking, we try and... Stay a little light.

Yeah, it's a little line. You can talk about... Uplifting episodes. Here's a little, like, if anyone, this goes out to any listener that might want to know a little bit more about Travis. Yeah. It's so funny I say this on an episode about a murdered ape. Yeah, yeah. We try to keep things...

Just like light and friendly. I mean, Travis didn't spawn dicks out for Travis. Yeah, exactly. But I will say that Travis actually has two notable events. And the second one's really bad, which is the... the one that everyone knows, the face stuff. Yeah. But the first one is just funny.

Yeah, okay. Maybe we're just doing that on the funny one. It's just the first bit. Yeah. The first and only part of Travis's life to talk about. Yeah, we don't know what happened next. Yeah, but we wish him out. Yeah, exactly.

We don't know where he went. I'll tell you the story off Mike because it's good. Yeah, yeah. I tell it on Mike on another episode. Okay. If the people want it, maybe next April. Yeah. So, yeah, people that, they go, wow, that episode was not what I wanted,

but maybe this travesties. Maybe if I try again. So thanks so much for joining us, fellas. And Joel, as we always say here at Primates Podcast, see, this has been Chimpan Jay. Oh, thanks for listening. And thank you so much, Matt, for coming on plumbing the net star. If people want to find more of you working, they always say.

And as we always say, are on plumbing the Sestan, My show of Syrenjo, My Honor, is on for the rest of this week. Last week at Comedy Festival, go out and see some shows. I got a couple of specials on YouTube on the Humdinger channel. And listen to our show, primates, obviously, but also do go on. Which I think all three of you have guessed it on. Joel to tell us about the life of Ryan Gosling. And I was also on an episode that famously won Best Episode of the Year.

Yes, that's true. Famously. That was your report. That's right. It was about a car journey around the world. That went real bad. Jackson told us about maybe like a Bones of a Yeti. Yeah, yeah.

Tom Slick. That's right. And Zammett, we recorded one right here about one of those charity songs. That's right. Yeah. Not big day out, but when it's like bigger than that. Live aid. Live aid, yeah.

Phil Collins, when he caught the plane. I was there being like, that's interesting. Yeah, nice. Yeah, so thanks so much for having us. I love being inside the death style plumbing away with your boys Plumming away with the fellas Blumming away with the boys

Wow, what a beautiful crossover And if you're listening to this in the plumbing the death style feed, why not check out primates? And if you're listening to this in the primates feed Why not check out plumbing the death stuff? See you next week Synergy, beautiful synergy, dude. Damn synergy.

Am I right, fella? Oh my God, you write that down. You can use that, brother. Goodbye. It's really good. I'm excited to see what else. I think that was fantastic. I thought that was brilliant.

I'm excited to see what happens with that riff. Will they listen to our suggestions or will it play out how it was recorded the first time and then the moment it ends? They can't. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. They're clever. Who's they?

Jaya is our social media team. Yeah. And video team. Yeah. So it's just that they do not respect you. If they do, they should. If they do, that's their mistake. Yeah.

I mean, they ask us one simple question. Hey, can you just make sure you get a photo with the guest? And then three weeks in a row, we say, Hey. Whoops. Or like, hey, you've got a brilliant idea. We're going to take a photo of just with ourselves. Yeah.

So for every episode, just the three of us, just different clothes, you know, because, again, that's what we're going to do. Yeah. Did you do that? No. No. You must remember we're stupid. Ah.