Plumbing the Death Star - What If The Lizard from Amazing Spider-Man One's Plan Succeeded and He Turned Everyone in New York into Lizards?

Episode Date: March 5, 2023

Hot blood bad, be lizard! Want rock? Want warm rock? Warm rock good! Lizard thoughts best thoughts. Better than horse thoughts. Human bad. Smooth and disgusting. Be lizard, it easy. Want fly, want warm, I remember my life as a man with all the beauty and heartache that goes with understanding this world but now I’m stuck in this lizard body with no way of expressing the feelings of dread and longing that makes up my existence, go to rock, close to warm. It good. Warm good. Have lizard wife. She good. Love is good. Lizard is good.Buy merch. Subscribe on Apple for more lizard content. Apple good. I eat apple. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. We're not answering that. Taking a little gaze. No squeeze. Scriptizing. Yeah, so what I tried to say there when I said the wrong words was, we're a podcast. Nice to meet you. Hope you're having a good day. This is your first episode. Welcome.

Welcome. We're a podcast. We're a podcast, and you're a listener. Yeah, that is true. We create this for you. You listen to it wherever you are, the boss, the boss. The reason that people listen to this podcast is because we're the podcast that asks the important questions. Important questions such as, If the lizard from Amazing Spider-Man,

What if the lizard from Amazing Spider-Man 1's plan succeeded and he turned everyone in New York into lizards. Succinct. Yes, to the point. That's how they often describe us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in The Amazing Spider-Man, number one, which is just simply titled The Amazing Spider-Man, Kurt Connors, Dr. Kurt Connors, I'll put some respect on that name. Yeah, he got his PhD or whatever. Yeah.

In lizardology or something. He's missing a limb. I believe it's his arm. He is missing his arm, correct. Basically, he's been working on trying to fuck around with his DNA to grow his arm back. Regenerative DNA because he's like, well, if you cut off a lizard's arm, a lizard's arm grows back. Why not my arm grow back? Yeah.

He's like, I don't want to be a lizard, but I want the power of a lizard. I don't want to be a lizard, but I would like some of the powers of a lizard of arm growing. He jinxed himself when he said that. Yeah, and then unfortunately- Now that I've turned into a lizard, maybe it's pretty cool. Yeah, so basically he fucks it and turns into a lizard man. Yeah. And then whilst a lizard man, he's like, actually, this was unreal.

This is baller. It's cool to be a lizard man. And in fact, I loathe humans. They're puny, they're pathetic, they're loathsome. When you cut off their arm, the arm don't grow back. They can't climb up buildings, they've got hot blood. All of this stuff sucks. Did his loathing of humanity come from...

Do you want to hear his speech from the movie? Yeah. I spent my life as a scientist trying to create a world without weakness. I spent my life as a scientist. Lizardier. Lizardier. Trying to create a world without weakness, without outcasts. Almost like a snake tongue. I sought to create a strong human being. Yeah, roll the bars. Roll the bars.

But there is no such thing. But there is no such thing. Human beings are weak, pathetic, feeble-minded creatures. Why be human at all when we could be so much faster, stronger, and smarter? And smarter? Smarta. Okay. This is my gift to you.

Okay. A little Dracula laugh. What I want to know. Yeah. Now, Kurt Connors, prior to lizardification, did he also think humanity was weak? Or when he became a lizard Is this the lizard DNA? Well I would assume Do lizards hate mankind?

Well yeah I mean they've never really gotten the ability to To like vocalize that But I assume yes I sort of thought lizards didn't think about me Well now but So Cause his body has changed into that of lizards

So presumably these organs Including his brain Has become lizard brain yeah sure and i'm guessing the lizard brain mixed with like the ability to talk now we can sort of vocalize this i was reading about anamorphs uh oh yeah and the part like there's a scene later on every single one of those books has the most fucked up event i think i think maybe we've all read the similar thread. But in it they point out, I'd forgotten about this one,

but they give, I think, again, they give an ant the power to morph and it morphs into something with sentience and just starts screaming. That's awesome. Give them the blessing of awareness of life and answer. And so I feel that sort of maybe is what happened with Kurt Connors aka becoming a lizard.

So you're saying he got bonus sentience? I think it's more like the lizard brain took over and being like okay I am lizard now get under a rock

and be warm. This is great. Wait a second. I'm developing thoughts. Hang on. Emotion. Hang on. Yeah but he's not

fusing with a lizard. Yeah. It is funny to think about how badly his experiment went. Because, I mean, like, obviously he didn't want to turn into a lizard. But his experiment was, I need to isolate the genetic sequence in lizard DNA that allows them to regrow the limb. But instead he didn't do that and just put full. Well, he did grow his limb back. Yeah, but it was a crapshoot of other lizard bits.

Yeah, because it starts off, he's like, my arm's growing. Oh, no. Yeah, that doesn't work for a bit. Well, no, because the whole thing, and it's the same thing with every fucking scientist that goes mad, is that they're like, hey, don't test this on humans yet. And they're like, I'm going to use myself as a test subject.

Yes, yes, it works. I'll show them. Oh, no! I'm a lizard now. Now, is this the one where it's like, right, I will inject it into some mice. Yeah. Okay, it works, but we get lizard mice. Yes, absolutely. And then they're like, hmm, this is not good. Yeah.

And then funding is like, well, we're going to cut you off. And so then as a mad dash of like I need something quick then I do it on myself he sees the mice kind of interesting if it was what I'm remembering which it was like hey we've we've turned these mice into lizards the people at the high up to like yeah cut funding because that that's huge that seems like remarkable you want that reptilian and mammal dna have mixed in a mouse. Yeah. That's massive. Sure, you become a lizard. Sure, you become a lizard, but that's just one experiment.

If it can be replicated, and it probably can be, there surely is some applications there, and maybe, maybe, Kirk Connors, there's some people smarter than you. Just putting it out there. Who maybe could have done this a little bit better. With some eyes on this, and maybe eye-awns. Maybe. Okay, we are misremembering a little bit better. With some eyes on this and maybe eye-ons. Maybe.

Okay, we are misremembering a little bit. Okay. Fuck. Because Connors does a weird thing. Oh, yeah. So basically, the lab rats, all good. I don't think they become lizard mice straight away. Oh, but eventually.

Connors' superior, Rafa, demands Connors begin human trials immediately. Oh. Connors says, no.afa, demands Connors begin human trials immediately. Oh. Connors says, no. I'll become a lizard. No. No. No, no, no. That puts innocent people at risk.

Then Connors gets fired. Oh. So it's his boss that's the piece of shit. And the boss is like, I'm going to go to the veterans hospital and start dishing it out. And Connors is like like I'll test it on myself Just to see how bad this is going to go for the veterans And then he turns into a lizard And then he fights the boss

It's going to go real bad for the veterans The question is what happens if Connors' boss's planet had succeeded There'd be lots of lizard veterans Lizards with combat training That's scary Combat training and maybe a little bit of PT. Yeah, shell-shocked fucking army lizards.

In many ways, Kirk Connors is a hero for what he did. He goes from I care about people to- Yeah, which is why I think it's the lizard. He doesn't merge with a lizard, but introducing that foreign- Lizard DNA. Lizard DNA that is definitely affecting how his brain chemistry works. He's having lizard thoughts.

I don't know if it's lizard thoughts or if it's toxic thoughts. Or just basic, right-of-the-mill madness that happens to him. I think lizard thoughts. So that means that you're saying that the lizard like lizards just wish the death like of humanity

like if i made a gecko sentient its first thought would be i wish you jackson were also a gecko yeah all dead because i don't i don't and i have sentience that i don't wish lizards were people yeah i don't wish that all things were people although car guy gecko guy. Gecko guy. Cloud guy. Cloud guy. They'd fall out of the sky. Yeah, I know. That's stupid. Oh, wait. But I guess they'd get sentient, not gravity.

Yeah. Good point. Good point. I know the clouds are also affected by gravity. That's how gravity works. They're a gas. I understand. Well, they're a guy now.

They're a guy gas. Are clouds a gas? What's... I think clouds are just condensation and water. Isn't condensation water? was just condensation and water. Isn't condensation water? Yeah, condensation is water, and also water can be- It's just vapor, right? Yeah, vapor is the-

I don't know. I just- Like how ice becomes water if you defrost it. Yeah, condensation is- well, anything can condensate. Yeah, but it's- Anything can condensate, but it's what it's anything can condensate what do you mean you understand the condensation comes from the air yeah because there's liquid like yeah air is a gas i said condensation and water you said they're the same thing and i said well anything can condensate

what do you define anything can condensate. Milk? Water in the... It's the water in the milk, right? No, but what? No. No, it's the water in the air. No, he's saying everything can condensate. No, but what... So if you evaporated milk... Where is the condensation?

Okay, what do you mean in milk? Because if there's liquid on the outside of a bottle of milk, that's not milk. I don't think that's what he's talking about. I think he's saying that milk, just milk can condensate. Yeah. What do you mean? So if you evaporate milk. You get other stuff left over.

Well, the water in milk, that would evaporate. That becomes a cloud. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're left with. You couldn't get a milk cloud. No, you're left with. You know where like the powdered milk? Yeah.

Well, that's powdered milk. That's evapor- It's literally called evaporated milk. I don't think I meant condensation anyway. No. What are you talking about? I would hope not. I don't think in the clouds there's condensation.

No, they're a vapor. Yeah. Yeah. What are you trying to say? Well, I just wasn't sure if a cloud're a vapor. Yeah. Yeah. What are you trying to say? Well, I just wasn't sure if a cloud was a gas. Because if you go through a heavy cloud, if you're parachuting or whatever, or skydiving, you get wet. Gas is a state. Yeah, I know.

It's not just like a- I know a gas is a state. Solid liquid gas. Yeah. So a cloud is a gas. Why, okay, fair enough. Just asking questions. Did you think it was a solid?

No, I just... Did you think it was a liquid? This way of flying a plane is dangerous. Hit a cloud, crash. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have to... It's clear sky, so what we're going to do is we're going to aim for a nice opening and

go above the cloud cover. Yeah, that's why planes go above the cloud. So they don't get destroyed when they're flying. So, just to give you a little bit of basic science. Thanks, man. Sun heats water. Water evaporates.

Goes into the sky. Becomes cloud. Becomes cloud in the cloud rain. Yeah, that's the water cycle, right? Yeah. I guess like other things can... Becomes cloud rain Yeah that's They call it the water cycle Right don't they Yeah Yeah I guess like other things can No not everything is Conden

Not everything can like Condensate Well conden We're using condensation wrong Yeah I know I'm using it like How he's using it Evaporate

But he doesn't know What he was trying to say Yeah yeah Evaporate is what you're Yeah yeah yeah Even Cause you're just Taking water out

Everything has a Well not Actually no I'm pretty confident. I'm going to not walk that back. Everything will have a boiling point. Everything would have a boiling point, which would evaporate it. Evaporate stuff to make clouds. Not to make clouds.

I'm thinking like when there's like toxic rainfall, those kind of things, because there's like stuff is like. Acid rain? Yeah, it's been taken up with the water, but it's kind of like glommed onto that water. It's collected with the water as opposed to evaporating itself. It's not just like... Yeah, it's not... It itself is...

Yeah, yeah. Well, I've learned something today. Yeah. The bad atoms can bond with the water. So that's probably the death star is educational. You're not going to learn anything. And the listeners just got like a grade three science lesson. They already knew this

the lizard yeah lizard brain yeah I think it's him the lizard's brain taking over and sure you're thinking is he just dead on madness or is this what happens when lizards get sentient but if you like see a lizard in the wild they tend to kind of be bit bitey

yeah when shrattened like they have a fight or flight I suppose But if you see a lizard in the wild, they tend to kind of be a bit bitey, yeah? No, they're skittish. When threatened, they have a fight or flight, I suppose. Yeah, yeah. Lizards are skittish, usually. Yeah. It just kind of depends what lizard, right? Like a frilled-neck lizard, he'll fuck up your day.

Well, that'll attack you. That's a good point. What lizard DNA did Connors pick? Okay, maybe dumb question. Yeah. Okay, he got one, I get one. Yeah, that's fair enough. Do all lizards

regenerate limbs? I don't think so. I wouldn't think so. I associate it with geckos, predominantly, but I don't know of other. And, to be honest, I associate it with only the tails of lizards. I actually don't know how many lizards regenerate.

I've seen lizards. Okay, well, they do their arm as well. But yeah, I don't think it's all lizards. I think it would just how many lizards regenerate. I've seen lizards. Okay, well they do their arm as well. But yeah, I don't think it's all lizards. I think it would just be geckos, surely. Or like a small subset of lizard kind. It just says reptilian DNA. Well, let's have a look. Well, that's probably his problem, isn't it? So small reptiles like lizards,

geckos, and iguanas. Okay. Famous. Being able to sprout new limbs. That's probably iguanas, man. Famous. Famous. Being able to sprout new limbs. That's probably iguanas, man. Alligators can as well. Yeah, I think I've seen an alligator with a tiny little stump arm. That's cute. Kirk Connors tries to, like, does experiments on an iguana to try and remove his own.

This isn't in the movie. This is from the comic. Yeah. Pretty much just, like, trying to reverse engineer a cure. And he gives an iguana the lizard dna yeah and the iguana becomes mutated and turns into a creature with the memories of the lizard so i guess so it is i guess so the lizard of the oh yeah i guess but he just did a crapshoot of he did a fucking mess of well reptile dna not any specific well i'm assuming it would have been one

particular lizard right that he would have got the would have been one particular lizard, right, that he would have got the DNA from. And that lizard probably hates humanity because he's a lab rat. Yeah, it's a lab lizard. Yeah, so I guess that's where his fury comes from. Well, which is weird because it's actually not just hatred for humanity, it's hatred for Kurt Connors. Yeah.

He hates himself. Wow. And he's taking it out on humanity. He's got alien lizard thoughts that are mad at him for torturing the lizard he became yeah it is funny then that his solution to that is to make everyone else listens yeah would is he lonely uh i yeah he's just trying to find a lizard wife it yes sorry is unrelated, but I accidentally clicked on the word iguana. And now here's what happens to iguana.

Iguana then fights Spider-Man and the lizard until both iguana and the lizard make an alliance and fight Spider-Man together. Does iguana become a guy? Iguana mutates into becoming a guy. Why? Because he's got human lizard DNA now. He pretty much gets the opposite of what happens to Kirk Connors. Wait, hang on. Hang on. So, Kirk Connors has the lizard serum. So,

he, Kirk Connors is the lizard, and he's trying to cure it. Oh, okay. He tested on an iguana. Yep, yep, yep, yep. The iguana then turns into a guy. I love that he tried to test the D-lizard serum on a lizard. What would have happened?

Comes back to an empty tank. Did it work? Did I de-lizard my lizard? Like a de-scaled iguana, so it's like smooth human skin. He's the worst scientist. If I was testing a de-lizarding serum, I would lizard something so I could see if I could de-lizard it. But because he's got the memories of the lizard.

Wait, so he's got the memories of the lizard he is? No, he's got the memories of the lizard. So, iguana is iguana. I will use lizard to talk about the lizard and iguana to talk about the lizard and iguana to talk about the...

Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Kurt's DNA uses...

Yes. Yeah. On an iguana. Just a regular iguana. The iguana mutates into a guy and has the same memories as Connor. That's fucked up because the iguana remembers becoming a lizard. Well, no, because that's why I was saying lizard before, because it's lizard's memories. Like, not lizard

is in the creature. But the lizard's memories. But the lizard's memories are going... When you say the lizard's memories... Who's the first? Do you mean that there are separate memories for when Kurt Connors is the lizard, and he's lizard

formed, that he's forming new memories, and then when he's Kurt Connors, the lizard and he's lizard formed, that he's forming new memories. And then when he is Kurt Connors, he doesn't have those memories. Yeah, does the lizard remember his- Because then he's got two consciousness in his brain. Does the lizard remember his Kurt Connors life? It just says he has the memories of the lizard, but the lizard are both capitalized.

Yeah, I get that. But the lizard, if the lizard remembers being Kurt Connors and transforming into a lizard, that means the iguana, who is a lizard, now remembers becoming a lizard. Which is fucked up and so strange. Well, if you want to hear fucked up, this is how the fight with Spider-Man goes. Okay. Spider-Man.

Poor Spider-Man, dude. Iguana was defeated when Spider-man used a portable version of the machine that kurt connor's was going to use on himself to de-lizard him to increase the iguana's power while decreasing the lizards which heals connor's in the progress a process yeah and then with iguana's powers over increased it seems that the iguana has exploded but so they de-lizard the lizard, so it becomes pure human. The more he was becoming human, the more iguana he was

becoming like lizard plus. Yeah, and then it turns out that becoming lizard plus didn't explode him, it just turned him back into regular iguana. But I would be so scared. The cycle of a lizard. Lizard guy lizard. Loops back.

He became so lizard, he became more of a lizard, which was the previous lizard. He became so lizard, he became a lizard. That's what happened to that lizard. No, I guess that in a weird way makes sense because you're purging the human DNA. Yeah. So if you use comic book fuckery. But you can't be purging the human DNA. Yeah. So if you use comic book fuckery but you can't be purging the human DNA. So you've got Iguana, which is 100%

lizard. Sure. Then you're introducing a serum which is 50% lizard and 50% human. Yeah. So now it's 75% lizard 25% human. Sure. Right? And so then he becomes more of a so you're getting more of the lizard out of Connors and then Connors is all 100% man.

That 50% lizard goes into the iguana, which means you now have more of a lizard concentrate. Yeah, true. So then it becomes like maybe. Well, maybe it was transferring man to Liz. Maybe it wasn't actually increased. It's swapping it. So it's taking away that 25% man, putting it into Connors, and taking that 50% lizard and putting it into Iguana.

I mean, I would just assume it was 50-50. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Iguana comes back. Iguana's more lizard than man. Anyway, yes? Kraven the Hunter wants to hunt him. That's fair. A guy called Bob makes a machine called Hunter for Kraven the Hunter to hunt.

Yeah. Bob is testing it out. Iguana rattles the machine, but Bob, channeling his own failures in life into anger, uses a special club to tear into Iguana, killing him. A special club. I have to ask you a question. Who's Bob? I don't know. No, no, no.

That's fine. So Iguana became an Iguana at the end of the Spider-Man arc. He became a regular Iguana and then it reversed? Years later, he's at the zoo and he's back to bad Iguana. Is he at the zoo visiting the zoo?

Iguana somehow resurfaced years later. This takes place in between. So when Bob killed him, he stayed dead. Yeah, okay. Iguana is still in canon dead. Iguana somehow resurfaced years later. This takes place in between. So when Bob killed him, he stayed dead. Yeah, okay. Iguana is still in canon dead. Dead in the- Iguana somehow resurfaced years later. So this takes place after it becomes regular Iguana again.

In the reptile house of the Central Park Zoo, Spider-Man fought Iguana and various crocodiles. Is Iguana Iguana or an Iguana? I'm guessing he is Iguana. Iguana Iguana or an Iguana? I'm guessing he is Iguana Iguana is He tackles Spider-Man So Iguana is back to Guy I like that that seems like it happened in the reptile house

Where he was captured by the zoo Well presumably Iguana gets really angry Because Peter answers the phone whilst fighting iguana and speaks to aunt may who's like i haven't seen you in a couple of days peter come over may i'm fighting a fucking iguana man and then asked him and anna if they were coming for dinner uh that's when he was dating anna yeah and iguana gets pissed off and and then Peter then gets a call from Anno in the same fight

this is when Spiderman was Doc Ock sorry when Doc Ock was Spiderman yeah yeah yeah so when Doc Ock was dying Spiderman came over and to be like oh you're dying or whatever but then they switched consciousness so Doc Ock was in SpMan's body and Peter Parker was in Doc Ock's body,

which he then fucking died. Yeah. And Doc Ock's like, well, I'm going to be a Spider-Man there and Peter Parker. And then he's like, wait a second, Peter Parker didn't get his doctorate, that piece of shit. I'm getting my doctorate. That's awesome. This was, I guess, all superior.

All righty. Okay. Anyway, that's the. This was, I guess, all superior. All righty. Okay. Anyway, that's the story of Iguana. A lizard that became a man, then became a lizard, then became a man, got angry at Spider-Man because he wouldn't stop answering his phone, then got killed by Bob with a special club. Yeah, it's killed by Bob because Bob was controlling the hunter using VR goggles. Yeah. Because Arcade

did some bullshit anyway. No, but then Bob's out of the VR goggles because Iguana climbs on the VR thing and rattles it. And then Bob's like, my life's a failure! I'll kill you, Iguana! Man, Iguana has the most tragic story of any comics character.

He's just a lizard! He doesn't deserve this. And he thought it was over. Then one day in a fucking tank in the zoo he's back to being a man. When he got turned back into an iguana, did he still have memories of being the iguana and also the lizard?

Do you think when he was an iguana but just an iguana he remembered being a man? Yeah, absolutely. That's fucked up. How many thoughts can a lizard brain contain? Probably one at a man. Yeah, absolutely. That's fucked up. How many thoughts can a lizard brain contain? Yeah, probably one at a time. And it's mostly like, need eat, need warm, and then occasionally was man. And the iguana stops what it's doing,

and then that thought disappears and it just carries on. That's where you see where there's a chameleon, you see that walk and then they just stop mid-walk. What? Oh, never mind. Need fly. Need fly. Okay, now a question. So at least we now know what

would have happened to everyone that got turned into lizards that died. Bob would be out for revenge. Yeah, that's true. So I guess the DNA, if, I guess Kurt Connors is a bad scientist as he is. What he's doing is just remarkable. Absolutely. Not only is he creating like, you know, the DNA from like a creature implanting into like whoever.

And then getting the traits of whatever he's doing. But he's also implanting DNA. Yeah. Implanting memory in that DNA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that, yeah, so the memory is why he's turning, why he wants to turn everyone into lizards or why he hates humanity is because that is the thought process of that one lizard.

Of that one lizard that was a lab lizard. So it suffered, and so it had a resentment in it. Yeah. If his plan had succeeded and he turns everyone into lizard, is he using the exact same DNA of the afterworld? I was wondering this too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which means that everyone is now getting lab lizard DNA and memories.

Okay. So then everyone is now mad at humanity, and wants more people to be turned into lizards. Well, then I guess it's just like, because, I don't know, his lizard machine, which is going to affect New York. But if we all then get our own desire to build a lizard machine to nuke

other countries and cities and whatever, pretty quickly we'll all be lizards. Well, I mean, like, if we get the intelligence of Kurt Connors, imagine the entire population of New York City all of a sudden has like, that level of intelligence. There's going to be lizard machines on every rooftop. But not even necessarily lizard machines, just

whatever. Lizard utopia, baby. It's good for the lizards. Because you're getting everyone's going to look like a Goomba from the Super Mario Brothers movie. Not the new one, the old one. His memory.

You're also getting the lizard's memory. But you also have your own. I memory. You're also getting the lizard's memory. Yeah. But you also have your own. Oh, yeah. I remember being me and then a lizard and then a man lizard. Kurt, as a lizard, never references being a lizard.

Yeah. Like, as in, like... He doesn't reference it, surely, but it's there. Yeah, but... Or maybe not. But maybe it's because a lizard's thoughts

are not as concrete as our thoughts. Do lizards have memories? Surely. Lizards remember some stuff. Like what? Where to go. Yeah, they'd have a favorite spot.

Is that memories or instinct? Memories. I think lizards have. Can you train a lizard? Probably, yeah. They've proven that goldfish have memories. Yeah, lizards will have some level of memory. They won't be acting entirely on instinct.

What I'm trying to say is, look, so imagine, all right, so if we can kind of go with that Kirk Connors has gotten the memory of that lizard who hates himself

or hates Kirk Connors and the rest of humanity and wants to make lizards. So then he has that in himself. He's now either being like, well, that is now my memory as a lizard. He puts it out

in the DNA machine. Whole New York is now lizards. So there's going to be a lot of people there that now know how to make a lizard machine and with the wherewithal to be like, I know how to make it and I want to do it. Other people are now going to then make it but using their

DNA who have Kirk Connors lizard DNA but also their memories and stuff. So we're going to kind of have variations of lizards, very minute and whatever. So we're going to kind of have variations of lizards, like very minute and whatever. So whoever's going to be the fastest, the quickest, making the lizard bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's going to have the most.

So what happens if you lizard bomb people who are currently lizards? Well, they become iguanas again. Yeah, they were. Okay. Because if you use a lizard bulb on people who are lizards No, but he used a man bomb on an iguana to make iguana He's using a lizard man bomb on a lizard man But when Spider-Man makes iguana more of a lizard

He becomes just back to a regular iguana Yes So if you're using more lizard juice, lizard balm, what happens if you lizard balm people who are already turned into lizards? They probably become

more grotesque. Yeah. And less human, I guess. You're getting more... So you're getting more lizard concentrate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would they just...

Would they become... Either would they become more grotesque or would they just become lizards? Yeah, Obama. Like actual lizards. But they can't because Iguana was a lizard to begin with. So you're just going back to lizard.

I'm a man. So if you put lizard DNA in me and then more lizard DNA in me, I just become more of a lizard man. Yeah, and you become basically just a large lizard. A large lizard? You can't... Because Kurt Connors as a lizard looks like a hybrid of...

A lizard and a man. But he becomes more and more lizard as the movie goes on, doesn't he? Yeah, but if you start becoming more lizard-y, are you on all fours? Yeah, I guess so. There's no semblance of, like, I can't wear a lab coat and pants. No, no, you wouldn't. The further I go, right?

I think at a certain point you would not be having human thoughts anymore. You'd just become a big lizard. Yeah, I guess so. Is that what Kirk Connors wanted? Maybe. Because Kirk Connors, with his lizard thoughts, decided that humanity was not tough enough, but lizards were tougher, as evidenced by Dush's speech.

Smarter. This is like one lizard slash man's opinions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you become a full lizard, is he like, that's because you're not becoming smarter if you're just a lizard? Well, no. Lizards are dumb.

Yeah, I would assume that would be the unintended consequence, right? But that's not going to happen everywhere. That'll only happen where the bombs cross dumb. Yeah, I would assume that would be the unintended consequence, right? But that's not going to happen everywhere. That'll only happen where the bombs cross over. Although, no, because if you lizard everyone in New York, and everyone in New York has the power to make a lizard bomb, and everyone makes a lizard bomb in New York, then very quickly everyone's lizard. Yeah, then they'll be sort of going further and further out to the radius.

Well, that depends. Say you're next door to Kirk Connors and you get the desire to make a lizard bomb. Yes. Do you then have also the knowledge that you need to go further afield? Or are you just like, I'm going to make a lizard bomb right here, right now?

I would assume because you want to make more people lizards and you look around and everyone's already a lizard, you'd be like, well, I know what to do. I've got to go out where there's no lizard men and make lizards. Got to get in my car, drive to the next city. Catch the subway.

So lizards. There's a bunch of lizards all holding their lizard bomb in the subway. People who were already on the subway who missed all of the lizard gas being like,

what's happening today? Is there a convention on? Do I not get furries? Oh, furries have changed. Furries are lizards now. I guess we call them scalings. In the movie, Lizard's new lizard brain, I guess,

wants to continue doing experiments on himself to give himself more lizard abilities. So is his quest, is the lizard part of his lizard brain? Being like, I need to be full lizard? Yeah. Or is it like, I need to be full lizard yeah so then if everyone is be full lizard but with man brain in the movie it's not that the lizard part of his it's the chemicals

that like he's got general madness yeah okay but um yeah so uh you say general madness i say lizard i think putting lizard thoughts in your brain would give you general the serum regenerates connor's lost arm but eventually mutates him into a lizard who goes I say lizard madness. I think putting lizard thoughts in your brain would give you general madness. The serum regenerates Connor's lost arm, but eventually mutates him into a lizard who goes on a rampage until Spider-Man intervenes. Escaping into the sewer, Connor reverts, develops an obsession with his new abilities, builds a makeshift off-site lab, and experiments on himself further due to the chemicals affecting his mind. Okay.

So if everyone just became big lizards, that'd probably rule for him. Well, yeah. Because there'd be a point where everyone's got to be lizards, right? And they've got the ability and power and knowledge to do this. But there'd be a point where you wouldn't because your lizard brain would take over. And you'd be like, warm? I need to get hot. Too cold.

Too cold, hot. Me hot. This is the very next sentence. Yeah. After the lizard discovers Spider-Man's secret identity on his first encounter, he develops a mind of his own and asserts himself as a dominant personality, seeking to mutate all of New York into lizards like himself. So I guess maybe that is.

There are two consciousnesses in Kurt Connors, the lizard one and the man one. The lizard one becomes more dominant, I guess. When it learns Spider-Man's secret identity. No, that makes sense. Does it? Yeah, no, hear me out. Because Kirk Connors, the man brain, he's like, oh, I've been betrayed.

This boy that I knew and I just thought he was a guy. This boy? This boy. Oh, my gosh. This boy that I taught about biology he i thought he was a spider man and then as he's freaking out the lizard's like the lizard brain's like moment of weakness yeah i'm in there or is it a thing where it's like oh the lizard or kirk connors is like oh he also has two two consciousnesses in his body he is a spider man and he is a man man i was thinking that when you see the lizard, you're also a scientist.

You've got a serum full of, I don't know, horse DNA. You're like, maybe I won't go through with that experiment. I could be a horse. Could I live with horse thoughts? Gallop need apples now. Running into a grocer. Oh, well, he's homeless. Not to my grocery store.

Long tongue. I keep injecting myself with horse DNA until I get a really long tongue and long head. You get a mane down your back. The thing is, it's like you're looking at that particular horse that you've got the DNA from and you're like did I treat that horse right

am I going to try and make everyone horses if everyone's a horse then no one's a horse you do have horse thoughts gallop winnie gallop

flies apple need cold need warm Gallop Winnie Gallop Flies Apple Need cold, need warm If somebody doesn't hold their palm flat to me with a sugar cube in it I'm going to think they've got a handful of carrots Look at all these guys walking around with these carrots on their hands It's funny to imagine you get no horse physical characteristics Just horse thoughts

Just standing there staring at apples at a grocery store I didn't imagine you get no horse physical characteristics, just horse thoughts. Just standing there staring at apples at a grocery store. You just bend down with your head and take a bite out. If you have horse thoughts, do you have the wherewithal to use your hands? No, I don't think so. Imagine watching a two-legged human being trying to gallop. He's falling face first. Spider-Man coming up behind you and you kick him.

Don't spook me. It's the horse. Flies. Do horses eat apples in nature? If they could get them. If they see an apple tree, I'm sure they'd be like... But you're a man body on all fours, looking up at an apple tree

being like, how do I get up there? Well, you could probably... If a horse... Do wild horses come in contact with apple trees? Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's what I was checking. Okay, that's fair.

If a horse discovered it had opposable thumbs, could it figure out how to climb a tree? I think that... Because it'd be like, oh, I'm a horse, I can jump. And it would try and like rear up on its... Like rear up on your own two legs from all fours and then plant your hands on the tree.

Then try and like, I can now reach the lower branches. So looking at the biological makeup of a horse, you think adding thumbs is the only thing that will stop it from getting up a tree? No, I'm just thinking like, would it realize that it was easier to climb a tree if it had thumbs? Is it still the rest of the body is just a regular horse? No, it's you. It's you with horse thoughts and a horse mind. I thought you were trying to claim, because yeah, I knew that I was horse

and had no physical characteristics at all. But I thought you were being like, if we gave a horse thumbs. I'm like, yeah, it's still a horse. If you gave a horse, like, say, gorilla arms and legs, Jack and I could figure out how to climb a tree. Yeah, but then its head's like... That would be scary, climbing a tree like that,

because you'd always feel like you were falling. A horse would hate to climb a tree. Yeah, it's too high up, even though that's where the good apples are. Famously, good apples are on the top of the apple tree. They grow up high, yeah, yeah, yeah. A horse should really learn to turn around and kick the apple tree. Yeah, that's true. The apples fall down.

Drop down, and that's where their heads are anyway. You're thinking you have powerful horse legs and doing a back kick. Falling flat on your face. Well, doing a back kick when I only stand on my two feet is tricky because I throw both my legs out and then land on my head. Well, no, because you're using your hands.

Oh, yeah, you're on all fours. I could do a kick like that. Yeah, but not as powerful as a horse's kick. No, no, no. So you barefoot kicking like an apple tree, but not as powerful as a horse's kick. No, no, no. So you barefoot kicking like an apple tree, I feel hurt. Would Spider-Man even be alerted to your presence in, I assume,

Central Park? He'd probably come and do a welfare check on you. Only in New York! Then he'd thwip away. Okay, well, what about once everyone had become lizards? Yes. Like it's happened. The Earth is lizards.

The Earth is lizards. Well, yeah, that's the end goal, right? So from New York, say he just goes off without a hitch. Everyone just kind of becomes like the lizard. Yeah. No one becomes double lizards. No, no, no. There's no double lizarding. We finally killed off the filthy humanity.

We're just lizard versions of ourselves. Yeah. Here's my first thought. Can Kurt Connors or any of us reproduce anymore? Yeah. Okay. Thank goodness. No, we see the lizard nude, no cock.

Yeah, but I see a lizard currently nude, no cock. Where is a lizard? You press that belly and a wiener pops out. So I'd assume the same thing. Really? Yeah. Hidden wiener. Hidden wiener.

That's awesome. You could no longer punch each other in the stomach. Well wiener. Hidden wiener. That's awesome. You could no longer punch each other in the stomach. Well, you could. Your wang is going to flop out. That's why it's off panel. But every time Spider-Man punches the lizard in the stomach, he has a red basket. That's why he still wears pants.

But he doesn't wear pants. No, I mean in the comic books. He has those purple jeans on or whatever. Fashion forward. Yeah, so everyone's lizards. Does life go back to normal? What about the cold countries? Well, it's this thing.

Well, they go heating, right? Norway, are they all lizards? Yeah, everyone's a lizard. Yeah, the plan worked. Everyone's a lizard. But now, are they just sleeping the whole time? The common goal is for everyone to be lizard, right? Yeah, but plan worked. Everyone's a lizard. But now they're just sleeping the whole time? The common goal is for everyone to be lizard, right? So then now everyone is lizard, so everyone doesn't have that goal.

Which I think there's maybe a little bit of malaise that goes through whatever the population is. Because you're like, oh, our one big goal. Yeah, the thing we were trying to do this whole time. We finally got it. What now? Well, we'd probably try and perfect human. Or is it more of a cheer? Like, we did it.

Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, Kurt's goal constantly changes. That's just the last goal we see him have. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Because, yeah, at first he's like, I need to- Now that humanity's gone, what now? Yeah.

Yeah, because now he's like, I need to cure myself. Then he's like, no, I need to make myself more lizard. No, I need to make everyone lizard. Yeah, yeah. I've made everyone lizard. Now we to make myself more lizard. No, I need to make everyone lizard. I've made everyone lizard. Now we need to become more lizard. Or now that we're all lizard, now we can use our brains and our lizard utopia and then we can take that to the stars.

Oh, space lizard. Go meet Galactus. Yeah. Make him a lizard. Is the lizard cold-blooded now? No. Okay. Because in

No because the iguana is Like the iguana His weaknesses are like Temperature and light The iguana Because he started as a lizard He started as a lizard No where it's the opposite

Because like You never see Kurt be like Oh I mean A bit chilly Yeah but he's like He's living in the sewer Yeah If he needed hot

Sewer's hot Sewer's hot Sewer's hot Yeah because of all the feces and shit And the methane and needed hot. Sewer's hot. Sewer's hot. Sewer's hot? Yeah, because of all the feces and shit. And the methane and shit. And methane. Sewer's hot, brother. You'd be sweating in them sewers.

Yeah, dude. That's bad. We're going into the sewers, you bring a new jacket. I'm like, are you sure? All right. Yeah, the farts are going to make you hot. Dude, that's why I'm in just like tighty-whities and a sinklet. Farts will make you sweaty. Sinklet and a gas and a sinklet. What's going to make you sweaty?

Sinklet and a gas mask. What's going to make you sweaty, brother? Yeah, it's like a sauna down here. A bad sauna. You're like, why am I coming along on this trip? See if it truly is hot. Yeah, but I would assume that the lizard is that cold-blooded. I don't know.

That's how Spider-Man would often defeat him, right? In the comics, he might be cold defeat him right using like in the comics he might be cold-blooded but in the movie he doesn't indicate to me that he's cold-blooded he's quick he lives in new york and even when he's not in the sewers he still fights yeah yeah that's true that's true i think it would make sense for him to retain because he gets yeah he gets some lizard thing but not all lizard abilities he retains a human shape by and large yeah a fucked up one yeah but he still looks like a guy. Yeah, he looks like a guy. You're not confusing

him with an iguana on the floor or whatever. No. Although, if you put Kirk Connors in the zoo at a distance, nude, and you were like, he's a new kind of lizard we found. I would not believe you. He's not all fours. No, it still looks too much like a guy.

I don't know. You just want to believe that that's real, though. I could believe... At a distance. Even at an over distance. I couldn't be like, oh yes, a person injected DNA with him and they became half a lizard. I couldn't believe that. But if we discovered this lizard man or this nude lizard, I'd be like,

wow, that's crazy. They found a lizard that looks like a guy. Is he evolving? In the weaknesses of this particular lizard, it's only mental instability. Wow. All right. There you go. That's what I was wondering. I was like, if we all become lizards, in the colder areas, is everyone just going to be sleepy all the time?

But I guess not. I guess everyone's just kicking it sweet. Yeah, they don't give a shit. Okay, so when he transforms into the lizard, Connor's regenerated right arm has four fingers instead of five, and the middle and ring finger fuse together. So I guess married couples who wear wedding rings are going to have to get that resized. Yeah, damn. That's something. But it seems like otherwise we just revert back to normal life.

Everyone just is lizards. Everyone has basically now, what, tail, claws, regenerative healing factor, superhuman centers, stamina, reflexes, agility, durability, and speed and strength. So we just all become a bit more scaly. Yeah. But we become more durable. We become hardy. I think the cons, I mean, the pros far outweigh the cons.

I'm kind of on that camp as well. Because I'm like, yeah, look, there's going to be some TV issues. There's an adjustment period, sure. And the kind of thing to be like, right now, I don't find, like, you know, scales attractive. Yeah. But with my new lizard brain, I would find the idea of smooth skin disgusting. So. Yeah.

You would, yeah, at time of recording, if you had a lizard wife, you'd loathe her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you were lizard, you'd love your lizard wife. I think I could love a lizard wife now. Yeah, I guess if she's your wife already, then you've already fallen in love. Yeah, that's nice. Love conquers all. Love does conquer all, that's beautiful.

Conquers having a lizard wife. Love conquers having a lizard wife love conquers lizard wife and then yeah because I'm imagining like you know yeah you would you're in a relationship where we turn into lizards

and then it's like well I remember being in love and now this lab lizard has like oh what's that and maybe love does conquer all

but I don't know we're conquering it also depends on like which part of the lizard DNA gas this is at. Because if it's final form, Kurt, we're kicking it sweet. We're all just stoked to be a lizard.

But if it's the first form, we get monstrous self-loathing and want to fix ourselves. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I'm assuming it's the end stage because that's where he'd be doing the DNA. Oh, yeah. I guess that's when he's made the gas. Would I get a new lizard nut? That's pretty cool.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe. Yeah, because it would push out the old one. Yeah, but would it push out? You've got a sack, so unfortunately you've got three nuts. Yeah, well, yeah. People used to pay top money for this. That's awesome.

But also if I become a lizard. You'll have two regular nuts and a fake nut in one sack. But actually. But it's a lizard sack. Scaly. Actually, no. It'd be all inside you. Yeah.

I die because my fake nut is inside my body now, and my body rejects it. Because it might have to, like, push it out. You know that inside your nut still counts as inside your body now. I know. Yeah, but, like, more internally. Yeah. There's a full rearranging of my organs. When someone shoots a wolverine in the head with a gun and like the bullet pops out, I

feel something like that because then you've got people with like, like, like stents. Yeah. Yeah. True. People have artificial arms, artificial hips, knees, anything like that. Plate in their head. So like all of those those things that we have will have to be...

Or do all of those people just die? Not so much die, just the lizard growth grows over it? If you have a plate in your brain to replace... Skull? Skull? If you are missing parts of your brain...

Skull? No, I'm saying brain. If you're missing parts of your brain. Skull? No, no, I'm saying brain. If you're missing parts of your brain, then you get lizardified. Do you get more lizard brain than the rest? Sir, Phineas Gage is fucking strolling around New York City being like, I'm a real piece of shit. I got a pole through my head. Look out, everyone.

That's Phineas Gage. And he's been in a foul mood ever since that railway spike obliterated his frontal lobe. I'm pissed off. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I'm Phineas Gage, bitch. What's that in the sky?

Oh, I'm becoming a lizard. A lizard in the escape. It's such a beautiful day. It just pushes out his metal rod. As his brain reforms a tube of lizard brain within his man lizard brain. Well, yeah, it would form the new brain, whatever is there, and new connections going on. Just because Kurt Connors' hand that is a lizard hand is more lizard than the rest of him, because it's got four fingers, right?

Well, initially it just uh doesn't it initially it just becomes a like a regular hand yeah i'm lizardified okay so i think it would be a regular brain that would then be lizard okay so okay you know that's i was just like i felt like yeah i was just unsure if the missing bits were more lizard but i guess not and if it's all question yeah so if it's all from his dna and he's like lizardifying everyone, say for example that he himself has like both his testicles and then you get lizardified. That's just regenerative kind of thing. But is it using him as a template?

Say for example, Kurt Connors or the lizard, whatever he becomes. Say he has something degenerative. Maybe he's got one kidney. Yeah, sure. That sounds unrelatable. So his template for him is one kidney.

Do we all then get one kidney? No, because the human template is us. It would only be if the lizard had some fucked up lizard thing going on. No, but it... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we're all using his DNA.

Yeah. Because he's using the combination of Kirk Connors and the lizard on the lizard gas. Yeah. And we're all turning into lizards. I was turning into variations of ourselves with a lizard, or we're turning into, say, Kirk Connors as a lizard. We're all becoming clones of him. If you are born with

only one kidney is that in your dna no i don't i don't think it is because then that would make it a um oh yeah true uh yeah i know what you mean uh oh no what's the word when you get a thing and it's part of your DNA, so like when you have a kid. Yeah. No, not degenerative. No, degenerative is like when it gets worse. Hereditary.

Hereditary. Hereditary, yes. I should have thought of the movie. Yeah, dude. Yeah, that would make it. I don't think it is. I mean, I haven't had a kid, so it might be. I don't think it is.

I don't think it is. So you're just getting base. My parents have both of their kidneys. It's human. it'd just be base base human temple oh this is unrelated but it's a funny story

yeah and I guess it's well it's related to one kidney yeah I had to get an ultrasound when I had a cancer scare by the way I'm fine

I forgot I said that in an episode and I got lots of panicked messages I don't have cancer nice currently who knows in my future

time will tell but one of the things stage 5 is in the distant future somewhere yeah thank you for all the kind messages I'm fine but one of the tests

was they were doing an ultrasound on my kidney but the doctor had been like to the ultrasound technician ultrasound on kidney and they wrote kidney but they never specified which side

and the person didn't like check they just like oh kidneys ultrasound oh my god you don't oh my goodness uh so basically what happened is just by coincidence the first one they did was decide that i have my kidney and i was like oh okay well they clearly know what's up and they're like oh yeah just roll over and i was like oh this is weird maybe they're just checking to make sure because i was on my side where i was facing the person when they were like doing it i saw like and I was like, oh, this is weird. Maybe they're just checking to make sure. Yeah, like, I'm on the other side. Still hasn't grown? Yeah, but then, because I was on my side where I was facing the person, when they were, like,

doing it, I saw, like, I wouldn't quite say that the color left their face, but they were, like, very confused and could,

clearly a little bit scared. And I, like, was watching while they were, like, started pushing a bit harder and moving it around more. Where the fuck is it? Where the fuck is it? And I was like,

oh, hey, I don't know if it says that but i've only got one kidney and they were like oh i think they were very much also bracing to be like yeah you're sick because your kidney's gone we don't we don't know where it went we need to get you got a hospital hospital it was funny watching a medical professional get scared and then also i mean a little concerning because you know you don't want a doctor to look scared when they're looking at you. I remember that when I got the ultrasound on my cancerous nut where he was looking at it and he had this look of like, oh, no. And I was like, is everything okay?

And he's like, you talk to the doctor. I assume he was just an ultrasound technician. He was in no position to diagnose me with testicular cancer. But he knew what he was looking at. Oh, yeah. This guy's nut is frog-like. Sir, I cannot medically say what's wrong with you, but this is the worst nut I've ever seen.

Hey, was your nut fucking busted beforehand? You get a fucking skunk-ass nut? Diagnose you with skunk nut, brother. Okay, fair enough. Up top. Chill, dude, chill. Well, that's funny we've both had that thing. No, no, no.

It sounds good. Stank nut. You got a stank nut. Damn. Yeah, anyway, so that's just a funny aside. That's great. So I guess if it's not, because I was worried that if we, because now we're fucking with DNA. Yeah.

And it's like if the lab lizard DNA can go into Kurt Connors, then I guess they're going to us. We still got ours. So I guess hopefully that wouldn't overwrite anything. Yeah. Like this brings back to what I was saying before. Like is the lizard DNA that he's putting in the gas from him, or is it just a version of the injection he already gave himself? Because if so, then I guess they're very early on.

Yeah, that's true. But then, because later on, or is it a version that he's made later on when he's trying to give himself extra lizard powers? True. Because, yeah, if it's the first one, everyone's marching into that famous New York City sea. Gonna go visit

Our Lady of Liberty on foot. Oh no, they didn't make it. I think that just the implications that if you put lizard DNA in a person, you get a lizard person. Like that, Spider-Man should tell people. Like,

Spider-Man just sees the lizard and he's just like, anyway, dude, back to my apartment. Yeah, I think there's like any animal testing stop. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know because it's kind of like you can, if you inject this or have this pill, you make it so it's like less of a permanent thing

and more of like a temporary thing or like a pill form or whatever. But you can have the memories of this dog that we've treated real good. We have got the memories. That's just awesome. I'm eating a dog pill to have dog vibes. You can finally be happy. Dog vibes? Yeah.

That's what I'm suggesting. Yeah, no, I know, but like. Dog memories. Why, that's what Sam is suggesting. Dog memories. Why is that good? Because we've treated this dog real well, and the dog loves having a good time. And you can experience... Are you telling me if there was a pill, we could experience life, the memories of... Dog vibes.

Not forever. Well, forever. It's like a designer drug. Yeah. Dog vibes drug. You could experience... I open up and I'm like, dude, you want some dog? And you can experience this particular dog. Or and I'm like dude you want some dog and like you can experience this particular dog or we can be like

hey we have the memories of this guy dude alright you don't want some dog I got heaps of guy yeah pill to take

memories of someone else yeah that wouldn't be a nice high that would be I've lived that man's life depersonalization on purpose.

But then you would come back. It would almost destroy your ear, I think. It's kind of like doing the bad part of a K-hole on purpose. Yeah. You really want to make sure that the person we're getting the pill from, they have lived a good life. But even if they have lived the best life, then you come down and there's a moment where you're like, but the memories of fate, you're like, who am I?

And that would happen every time. The three of us, we're clubbing. And I've popped, like we often do. After recording every day. And I'm popping quite like early 30s, mid 30s, going clubbing, popping dog pills. Popping dog pills. Yeah, the type of guys you see popping pills all the time. You, going clubbing, popping dog pills. Popping dog pills. Yeah, the type of guys you see popping pills all the time. You know what?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like clubbing. Clubbing, you go to a club. Yeah. As we all know, because we're there all the time. Of course. We've put into the second group here. There's like early 20s.

Yeah. Gap. Yeah. Mid 30s. That's clubbing. Yeah. But I'm popping a bunch of dog pills. Yeah. You lose tracks. That's clobbering. But I'm popping a bunch of dog pills. You lose track of me in the crowd.

Where's Jackson going? He took too many dog pills. You go outside, I'm pissing with one leg up on one of the walls. You got to wait till I come down thinking I'm full of dog. Take me to the hospital. It's dangerous. Yeah. I was the one saying no.

You're saying yes. No, no, I'm on your side. I'm saying dog is scary it's a scary drug like is it gonna be there is no drug is this a like you take it you get the memories and you straight away back again like after say for you maybe 10 seconds past or you're just describing dmt now yeah but with a dash of the memories of a dog. With memories instead of like the DMT pixie or whatever. So the dog pixie. Dude, the dog pixie took me on a dog journey. It walked me.

I keep talking about how I had a spiritual awakening and you're like, you were just a dog. Yeah, you just pissed outside. You just started lapping up like from a bowl of water. Dude, I get what it's all about now. I understand the meaning of dog life. Man life eludes people. Yeah. So I guess there is like a wide application for a lot of what the lizard or the

Curve Connors was experimenting on. But if we were successful and we all turned to lizards, yeah, I think there would be this little bit of teething problem. But by and large, maybe good. I think it would be awesome. I think Curve Connors was kind of a little bit right right i think that it's going to cause such an extreme existential crisis even if we do have the memories because then we're creating new memories and surely at some point the old feelings slowly fade back yeah i'll fade back yeah i guess that's what happened to iguana yeah

one day i'm just like sitting on a hot rock and I'm like, oh my God, I was Jackson once. Yeah. And then it goes. Yeah. I think life as a guy versus life as a lizard guy. I prefer guy. Guy is better. Guy is better. But lizard's number two. This is something out of my control, you know?

I can't control not being a lizard man. I could adapt to being a lizard man. I think we would adapt. We would all adapt. I think we'd come out of it alright. Sure, like housing would be different. So we're saying it's good even though it's worse just because it's manageable. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Get the nail on the head though. Jack gave me a cancer diagnosis. It's bad. It's bad. Manageable. Manageable. Jackson looked at me when you said it's bad because he had no idea where the next spot was

It's bad, but it's good It's bad, but it didn't happen to me, so that's fine It's bad, but it was funny Which it was, it was very funny Yeah, hilarious times, dude, losing a nut In many ways it's sad that I don't also have cancer Dude, I wish you'd lost a nut too Because that's Abbotwood inevitably

He's so scary Yeah, absolutely And then there have to be studies too if being a podcaster that being in podcasts that are so bad gives you not cancer. Yeah.

And the answers would be a resounding yes. It's funny like I lose my not to cancer you lose your not to cancer Zamba just jumps like a barbed wire fence from.

Why? What the fuck? Of all the ways I could have lost my not this one has a lot of pain! Yeah, ours were a bit scary, though. Wow, yeah, you lost your nut to this freak barbed wire fence accident. Also, your remaining nut is full of cancer!

Then I'd be scared that my second nut was going. Yeah, it goes up to Zabit and then it comes back down to me. You two jump over the barbed wire fence. Hey, we're plumbing the desk, aka the eunuch boys. We all have a problem with...

We all had a bout of cancer and issues with barbed wire fences. Yeah. Turns out God does punish podcasts. Yeah, he takes their nuts.

Still got a sack though, baby. Yeah, empty sack. Empty sack, you got no fake nuts. Yeah Yeah empty sack Empty sack You got no fake nuts Yeah Empty sack No fake nuts

The floppiest dick Awesome On that note I've been Joel I've been Jackson And I've also been Joel Look after your nuts I guess Yeah dude

Check yourself for cancer Yeah It's important Yeah Or go to a doctor I guess Yeah they can check you too Yeah But it's easy

Just you thumb up the side And down the front I can see everyone Check yourself for cancer can check you too Yeah It's easy Just your thumb up the side And down the front I guess yeah everyone Check yourself for cancer Yeah It's important to do Especially if you're getting older And I know we're all aging up

Oh we're all aging Hey if you've been with us Since the start You're fucking old now Suck shit Yeah Especially if you were old When you started listening

Oh if you were 70 When you started listening You'd probably be fucking dead now You would have heard one episode And died That's sad Alright Well we'll meet you at the club Yeah started listening. If you were 70 when you started listening, you'd probably be fucking dead now. You would have heard one episode and died. That's sad. All right. Well, we'll meet you at the club.