Plumbing the Death Star - What is the Worst Fictional Universe to Live in (Again Again Again)? Live from MICF (Ft. Dave Warneke, Jess Perkins and Michael Shanks)

Episode Date: May 13, 2018

In which our heroes are joined by Dave Warneke, Jess Perkins and Michael Shanks at the MICF to ask the hard hitting question; What is the Worst Fictional Universe to Live in (Again Again Again)?Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/ Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter:  twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SANS PANTS RADIO This was recorded live at the European Beer Cafe on the 21st of April 2018 as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Hey you dirty boys and girls, before we begin, just want to let you know that on May 18th at the Eureka Hotel, Movie Maintenance is going to be performing live for their final ever episode before they shuffle off to something new. But it won't only be those sad fucks. Plumbing the Death Star will be resident Spectre at the Feast, also performing live. Just head to sanspenseradio.com forward slash live

to grab your tickets today. And that's not the only live show that's coming up for you. Demi Lardner and Tom Walker are going to be performing their podcast, BigSoftTD.png, May 23rd, live at the Giant Dwarf Theatre in Sydney. Get on it if you don't want to punch square in the mouth from me, Jackson Bailey. Just head to sanspensradio.com forward slash live to grab your tickets.

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plummet the Duster where we ask the important questions like which fictional universe would be the worst to live in again again again again again again again live Again, again, again, again, again. Live. Live. Woo! Did you look to me to do the intro?

You did. You absolutely were like, and Jackson? I'm not doing it. I think I got caught up for a second. Anyway, I'm choosing like infomercials. We. for a second Anyway, I'm choosing infomercials We are choosing infomercials Infomercials Infomercial universe The moment because

You've all seen infomercials You're all up way too late And you're like Maybe I can put zappy things on my stomach And zap the fat away That sounds good It works It doesn't

Props to the guy who was like Let's just electrocute people. You know what's real good? Getting the fatties to zap themselves. I want three. Doesn't work. And so yeah, every time you see these things, people are like, do you know how to

use spoons? I'm like, I could before. Well, we've got an innovation. Then you're like, oh fuck. And then you stab somewhere in your face. It is funny on those, like you're watching it at home and someone's like, do you know how to use spoons? And you're like, oh, fuck. And then you stab somewhere in your face. It is funny. You're watching it at home and someone's like, do you know how to use spoons? And you're like, I think I do. But then somebody fucks up.

You're like, maybe I don't. I was like, has this ever happened to you when you're washing a car and then the hose goes into a window and suddenly the windscreen breaks? My car is flooded. Oh, man. And then he moves and steps into the bucket. And I'm like, I think I know how to wash a car. My car's flooded. Oh, man. And then he moves and steps into the bucket and I'm like, I think I know how to wash a car,

but now I'm... I love this ad because I don't know what to advertise. Imagine one of those infomercial ads. Is this ever happened to you? The car floods, steps in a bucket, cuts his hand with a knife. Are they selling all these things together? Are they selling car insurance, a new car, or a new hose?

Buy a car bucket knife. All your problems solved. I like that we've been like, which would be the worst fictional universe to live in? Then you've just described us in real life watching an infomercial. It's funny enough. But living in infomercial

would be terrible. A nightmare. Yes. Are we going to kiss? No? Okay, we just read the queue. All right. Did I? No, I did.

I didn't? No. All right. I'm so sad it's not going to happen. It might. I feel like if I pressure you enough. But I'm like, you've disappointed the audience. Joel kiss, live on stage.

Yeah, so you're not getting it. I think the scariest thing about the infomercial universe is that we're all dumb fucks, right? Well, yes and no, because presumably before a new innovation came along, you knew how to use a thing. But the moment someone slightly improves something... Or makes it worse, but charges more money for it.

It sucks that information out of the public consciousness. So that you have to use that new innovation. So it's almost like the moment you invent something, everyone turns into the dumbest fuck.

Until we purchase the thing. Because imagine you, you're putting on your pants, and someone invents a new belt. And then suddenly you're like, oh. You pull your pants on so much they rip at the crop. You tear them off like stripper pants. Oh, no.

Oh, I need to spend a lot of money. Do we know that? Are we like, oh, damn, someone invented a new belt. Or am I like, sweet, there's a new belt on the market. I think it needs to be told to you by a condescending voice. Yeah, well, that's what I was going to point out. Living in the infomercial universe is also terrifying

because while you're doing a thing, you just get a very ominous voice and it's like, are you sick and tired of tearing off your pants like stripper pants when you try to put on your belts? Yes. But also, like, the moment that that kicks in, it's before you've finished the action, so, like, you know the moment you hear that voice that

things are about to go very wrong for you. Yeah, like, you're making a salad, and it's like, has this ever happened to you? And you're like, has what? Has what ever happened to me? But then, it's also very scary, because some infomercial stuff is, like, super dangerous, so it's like, are you sick and tired of electrocuting yourself to death

in the bathtub while you're trying to dry your hair? About to step into the bath. Like, can I avoid this? So basically the infomercial universe in my head is basically Final Destination. But at the same time that might be helpful. It's like, are you sick

and tired of electrocuting yourself? You pull out your phone real quick, you're like, are you sick and tired of electrocuting yourself? Oh. You pull out your phone real quick, you're like, there must be a new bath. I need to buy it very quickly. Hello, bath salesman,

I need a new one. It takes a long time for a bath to get installed so you're just dirty for like a week. Oh, you start kind of standing like this.

Nearly happened. It's what I did. Oh yeah, you were doing a bit too. Yeah, I got up and I fell. You know what is great though? I'm kind of standing like this. Nearly happened. It's what I did. Oh yeah, you were doing a bit too. Yeah, I got up and I fell. You know what is great though? Look what he's saying, electrocuting yourself thin. You just could.

You could just job, job, jam your fingers into like an electrical socket and get real buff. Which infomercial does that happen in, Jackson? Has this ever happened to you? Fucking ripped! It shouldn't. Well, actually, it'd be like...

It's burnt the fat away! And muscles and lines, basically. It would be more like, are you sick and tired of electrocuting yourself and not losing any weight? It's like, yes. It sucks, I just get hurt. I hate just being in pain.

If only there was a way to benefit from this. I'm doing it anyway for some reason. Well, now you can. It's like me with a fork about to go in a toaster. It's like, now you can. I'm like... Actually, you've just highlighted another reason

why the infomercial universe sucks. Every time someone says something, someone else is just going to be like, ah! That's true. Or like, yeah, after someone does something wrong, they're just like, I'm such an idiot. But they make a really annoying face. Like in infomercials, the acting's terrible.

Everyone is just going to be like that all the time. Also, every conversation we have, we just chat every podcast, is going to worm its way back to the new product we're using. Are you sick and tired of your podcast going nowhere? Oh. That would be

so sad. We'd be like, ah, we've been made redundant. The big voice in this that's like God. Hey, you're no good anymore. We're getting a new one. Is this like universe that's basically where God is around? Yeah.

But he's worrying about us individually. It's like a hands-on God. That's the universe. He's like, I'm involved. I'm hanging around. I'm seeing what everyone's up to. He just wants us to do better. He wants us to live our best lives.

He's like, guys, you're fucking it up. You're doing pants wrong. I don't need... I know a better way. I don't need God with me all the time. I don't, but it's funny. Jackson, you know it's midday and you've just woken up. I'm like, God, leave me a fucking load.

With this one invention, you could get up earlier. It's called an alarm clock, Jackson. God, I'm not telling you how to live your life. I'm doing it objectively right, Jackson. I'm God. I like that conversation because I'm frustrated. All loving my ass. Let's see how far we can push it.

Just walk into the kitchen like, I'm not talking to him Have you ever thought about using the toast Shut up God Get out of our house I'm having cereal I don't like bread Poor God Just getting more and more sad I just want him to love me It's just getting more and more sad every day.

I just want him to love me. It's also funny. And then he gets a voice. Has this ever happened to you? Your subjects don't love you? Yes. It does. Well, with this one product.

It's got a gun and it kills Jackson Bailey. Oh. God coming into the kitchen. Have you thought of another flood? I haven't A flood localized on this man Oh Well you can do it with three easy payments Should we be gathering

Of God bucks Two of every animal? No no no I'm just doing it to Jackson Just like a cylinder Of water around me Just like a del of water around me. Just like a deluge. Man, that's funny. It's not a cylinder of water. It's not even going anywhere. What a weird way

to kill him. You're God. Just fucking touch me and whatever. And I'll die. He's still giving me lip. Just wait two minutes. Even in death, I'm like, this is... What the fuck God

Just like Give me a lightning bolt Or something Whatever You could have done this So easy Give me the car You did it so weird

You're a weird guy God I'm the first born Take us all You dickhead At least Moses Got plagues Or whatever It's also funny

To advertise that It's like Noah's also funny to advertise that. It's like, Noah's Ark, but to just one man. But it's not even... Noah's Ark. It's not like I'm like, I will have to build a boat. I guess Noah's Ark did happen to just one man. Noah. Noah.

What did Noah do to piss off God? That's what no one talks about. Do you want to get rid of one man But just like in a biblical way? Because honestly Locusts aren't enough In the flood You don't want to be Noah That's just like a lot of responsibility

You either have responsibility or death Yeah You know what? You preach it to the choir Fuck that Let's die I mean what's better? Look, look, look.

You've got to build a boat. How long is that going to take? Too long. Too fucking long. Dying? Easy. Out like a light. Drowning's meant to be peaceful, yeah?

I know I've heard it's incredibly painful. Peaceful, yeah? What would he know? He's an idiot. Drowning, boys. Sounds like someone just answered our question. Who here has drowned to death? Hands up.

One hero back there. Thumbs up. Do you rate it? What's better, drowning or building a boat? Drowning. But think about it like this. God booms down to the planet. He's like, I'm done with you cunts.

You're no good. I got a real good deal. I'm flooding the place. One guy's building a boat. I'm going to be like, I can get on top of a mountain or whatever. Flooding takes ages. 40 days and 40 nights. Yeah, that's heaps of time to get to the top of a hill.

It's also plenty of time to locate where the boat is. Exactly. Fuck you, God, where's the boat? I'm not telling. I'll fucking find it. Guy building a big fucking boat's going to stand out. It's going to be big. It's like a big boat.

Pushing over Noah and walking into the boat and setting it loose before all the animals are on it. It's great. See you, idiot. So you see Noah getting all the animals run. It's great. Oh, alright. See ya, idiot. So you see, like, Noah getting all the animals two by two, right? Yeah. We go over there. Okay, Priya, previously, we buy, like, a horse suit. Pantomime horse!

We go to the back of the line. Stab a horse. Okay. Drag that horse away. But pantomime that horse. Are we pantomime when we kill the other horse? Well, yeah. No, but here's the problem. Wait, no, blood and horse, no.

There's a problem, you idiots. There's three of us. A pantomime horse requires two people. There's two of us. No, but let me hear my point. Yeah, obviously you would be one pantomime horse, but the second horse we have to cut in half, and then I'll become the back legs.

And we'll enter the arc that way. Perfect. That is wildly unpleasant to think about. The front of a horse slowly dying, going up into the arc, but its back legs still quite mobile. But also, when you get out of the horse you're covered in horse guts. Absolutely.

I gotta hold on to the spine or whatever to keep me stable. And then Noah comes down right, the two horses need to f... Oh my god, it's three guys and half a horse. No, the front's just as bad. He did have to put his I guess his legs

If I choose the front of the horse Then the back legs are just dragging Along the ground And also no one will look at you and be like I know what a horse looks like, you're a man Although if he's next to the pantomime horse That might be alright I know what a horse looks like

Oh, yeah. I guess this is two horses. By all means, go in. Welcome to the ark. And then we just have to hide because he'll kick us out. Yeah. Push us into the flood. A mutiny. There's three of us and one of him. Yeah, that's true.

His family's there as well, but whatever. We can release a lion or something. Lions are hungry. Lions are notoriously hungry, boys and girls. Just like listening to the lion eating Noah and his family, and one of you are like, so Jackson, when the lion's done,

what's your plan to get it back in? Lure it in with a gazelle. Let the gazelles out. We just, old woman who swallowed a fly this. That had a happy ending there. She pops. That's good.

Hopefully by that point 40 Days and 40 Nights is gone and the arc's full of gore and we're the only living beings left. Reproducing's going to be hard. Not impossible though. I am fearful. We'll give it a red hot go. I don't know how we got here from the infomercial.

That's so far in the past. Everyone came here to watch us talk about worst fictional universes. They didn't come here for a Bible study. It got biblical quick. So whilst living in the infomercial universe are hectic, as you can see, we have several empty chairs next to us. There's a very good reason, because we've got some guests. Haven't told you.

No, that's on us. We paused and we shouldn't have. That was a weird place to clap, because we haven't said who it is. It could be someone garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except we have announced it before, so you probably already know. Introducing our first guest, Dave Warnicke from Do Go On. Guess who was in the bathroom when we were picking our own theme songs?

All right. Hello, I am your first garbage guest, Dave. Hi. Do I sit here or do I... Wherever you want man I'll straddle both That's what I was doing before but I can't anymore it's sad When spoilers our second guest comes out

Make a power play and don't move I'll never move Just look at them like What Can I help you Just stand So worst fictional universe Worst fictional universe. Worst fictional universe.

So I've had a good long thing about this. And then I threw it out the window because on the way here, I realized we are living in the worst universe already. When I was driving here and a tram passed me and it had a sign on it and it said, Man Cave Expo 2018. I was like, we are fucked. It's coming up next month if you're interested. No, so worst fictional

universes. I've made a bit of a short list. Yeah, that's great. I'm going to go controversial first up. I'm excited. The third worst fictional universe in my opinion would be... So these are ranked. Yeah. So it's not a short list.

You've just picked three and then put them in order. I don't fuck around, guys. I don't fuck around. Okay, number three is musicals. Oh, yeah. No, thank you. Give me a round of applause if you hate musicals. Some of you are my crowd.

The rest, I'm so sorry. You've dedicated your life to a terrible art form. But musicals are so beautiful and they reimagine history so a monster isn't like a real good person. He didn't kill all those elephants and whales. He invented showmanship. That was a deep, the greatest showman reference to everyone playing along.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Well, I thought you were talking about the Inglorious Bastards musical. How they reimagine history and at at the end Hitler gets shot. But anyway, I do dislike musicals a lot. I just hate the singing. I just think in a world... Which is a large part.

If I live in that world, I'm not a dancer. But you will become one. Do I become one? Well, because you are not a dancer, you're going to have a musical dance number where you become a good dancer. Oh, my fucking Christ. All your problems are solved by dance. I love it.

Hi, I'm with you. Yes. If I'm like just quietly on the computer and I'm like, man, I just can't dance. And then I hear music in the background. I'll be like, no, no. Fuck, fuck. But it's to a song.

I can't dance. But I'm furious. You've got to sing everything you're like good morning everyone just hates you can have a positive outlook on life you wake up and you're like good morning everybody good morning birds and songs and things

it's great you've been in a musical before haven't you nah I'm tone deaf as shit but you know all those people that are in musical theatre, they go home and cry themselves to sleep at night. So that would be all of us all the time. I just imagine waking up in the morning, like

imagine I, in this world, woke up and everyone was around me and was like, you have to sing. Like, that's an awful thing to wake up to. And often the character that can't sing or dance in musicals still has to sing and dance and everyone just kind of makes fun of them. Yeah, so I'll be good at it because I'm in a musical world

but you'll be like, you're bad at it. So one of two things will happen. You either have a montage where you get good at it and then you're angry because you're good at it. Alternatively,

you have a montage where you're bad at it, you stay bad at it, everyone bullies you, you're sad, I guess. If we live in a musical universe, say that the four of us here are on stage, we're just yammering away,

but in the crowd, like two people lock eyes and fall in love. Do we have to put down what we're doing to dance in the background? A hundred percent, yes. Are we like, and then, sorry guys, hang on. No, that's so good. Two people found each other and fell in love. Yeah, but we only have like an hour and a bit on stage.

What's been an hour and a bit on stage or two people finding love? Everybody here is like, I came to laugh but then I guess they danced about that and yuck. They came to laugh but they found love. They paid for a comedy but they stayed for a romance. That's great. I guess.

That's only the third worst universe. Second is Where's Wally? It's just too fucking crowded. You go everywhere and you're just like, fuck you, what the fuck? And then people are like, can you find the loaf of bread? You're like, what the fuck?

I love the idea of walking through a crowd and you see Wally and you're like, this is your fucking fault. There you fucking are. And he's like, I'm so sorry. Stripe jumper wearing motherfucker And then you wake up and you have to wear Nearly the exact same outfit as Where's Wally

But you do get to go to sleep and wear like a hat That's neat You can do that now But I'm obligated to It's only good for you if you're forced To wear a tiny hat to bed In my head for a second I think they they're called WALL-E watches, but in my head they were called True Believers.

And that's pretty good. If WALL-E's... Find WALL-E, True Believers. Where is he? Plus, doesn't that world have time travel in it? Yeah. A whole bunch of magic. There's one wizard.

Oh, he's so lonely. It's weird to live in a world with one wizard. And half a dog. Half a dog? Yep. You only ever see Wolf's tail. Wow. Where's the other half of the dog? That's not even half. That's like an eighth of a dog. Look, it's a pretty long

tail. I'll give it a third. A third of the dog. Imagine seeing like at that post you're just trying to find the dog. Is it a dog or is it just one long tail That just keeps going Like you grab the tail and pull and it just gets longer In this world Dogs are worms

Furry worms Yeah I told you it's a fucking horrible world It's too crowded and dogs are worms Boo In the Where's Wally universe Who's odd law A criminal. Yeah?

No, but there's a guy called... I love the silence. That's good. Everyone's thinking, who is Oddlaw? So in the Where's... Yeah, it's Waldo backwards. But who is he? Who's this...

Is this a world where we have like a colour swapped doppelganger whose name is our name backwards? Leodge. Leodge, yeah. Times two. There's two of us, it's bad. Is your name backwards Titmaz? Yeah.

No, Timmaz. Why don't you put another T? But I like that Titmaz much better. I'm not even going to try and spell Dusha backwards. Rashmud? No, I don't know how to do this. Where did you get the M from? That's rum. Hi, I'm local podcaster Joel Drumshot.

No, Drumdush? I don't know. Anyway. Red rum. Red rum? Red rum, yeah. And the number one worst fictional universe to live in is Murder, She Wrote. Murder, She Wrote, which, according to the Daily Telegraph,

is the most dangerous crime show on television. Funnily enough, Dave, last week we did Best Fictional Universe. Did you talk about Murder, She Wrote? That's the best? Rhys Nicholson... You got a fucking death wish! He just liked...

Rhys Nicholson said that he likes living in... Likes the idea of living in murder, she wrote, because nans can touch crime scenes. That is not a small price to pay for the murder. Statistically, they worked it out. Cabot Cove in Maine, where it is set, it has a population of 3,500

according to the creators of the show. That means, across the entire series, 2% of the town were murdered. Was there 100 people here? It's like two of you get murdered in a show. This is terrifying. How many murders a day?

Do they know that? Or like per year, how many we get? It's an average of 2.3 per episode. Holy shit! 2.3 an episode? What the fuck? You do these like less than a week, yeah? Yeah, yeah, for sure.

So two people die and then they just cut off a dog's tail. Yeah, yeah, yeah.. So two people die and then they just cut off a dog's tail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the point three. But it's, yeah, isn't that absolutely terrifying? And then I read this fan theory is that there's so many murders where Jessica Fletcher, played by Andrew Lansbury, when she turns up there's so many murders that some people think that she is secretly committing them and then solving her own crimes.

Exactly, like a fireman that burns his own fires. They call those arsons. Arsonists, not arsons. You're an arson! I love when someone comes in with a correction and just fucks it up. That is good stuff. I was being a piece of shit and then it turned... Well, I mean, I was just a piece of shit twice.

Does that mean in that world we could figure out that she's doing all the crimes and stop her reign of terror? Or is it never obvious to us living in the town? Are we like, this is the normal amount of murders per day? Because I don't think... I mean, there's probably no time where people point the finger at her. Mostly it's just cops going,

yeah, you've solved 18,000 murders, but I don't want you on this murder. Get out. Get away. And then she's like, but I wrote a book. I wrote a book. I've committed so many murders. I know how to do this. I did this one. Calling the show Murder, She Wrote, I guess kind of implies that the book is called Murder as well.

That's true. Which is the worst name for a crime novel. That's a weird way to describe your own book. Murder, She Wrote. What's a book name? I blanked at a book. What? Just give me a name of a book.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. She wrote. That's weird because I was going to go for a Harry Potter book as well. Do we only know Harry Potter books? I was going to say the Bible. The Bible, she wrote. I was literally just going to say Roald Dahl. And I'm like, that's just not a book.

That's an author. Common mistake. That's a man. Harry Potter 1 to 7. The Bible, Roald Dahl. And I'm like, that's just not a book. That's an author. Common mistake. That's a man. Harry Potter 1-7. The Bible, Roald Dahl. Those are the books. She wrote. Well, yeah.

Living in a world where a nan is wiping out 2% of the population. It's crazy. It's a higher kill rate than like... I don't know. Like a serial killer nan. I like it. Yeah, but there's a higher kill rate than like... I don't know. Like a serial killer man, I like it. Yeah, but there's a chance you'll die. Why do we keep using death as a positive? There's a chance I'll die now, you know?

You just gotta roll those bones. Might as well be by a man. Yeah. I get it. If I'm just like, oh shit, she got me. Fuck. I guess if I was going to be killed by a serial killer, I'd want it to be an interesting one.

Not one that's like, oh, I just killed you. I wouldn't have to wear my skin or turn me into a book or something. Cut my head off and fuck my neck or whatever. But like a man, I'm like, interesting. You want something unique. No, I'm with you. I get it. I don't want to be a statistic.

I want to be like, here's how the fucking carnival killer used a carnival to kill Jackson. Tied his head to a merry-go-round and his legs to a rollercoaster. While very cool and I'm on board, however, because this nan is very prolific

at killing a bunch of us, we're just going to become an statistic. You're just going to become a candle in the wind. I feel like if I've had my legs tied to roller coasters from I Had to Marry You Around, it's a bit notable. Like it is, but you've done a lot of them. I keep imagining being like, what are you doing?

This is strange and new. I just don't get it. And then I hear the I'm like, oh my god. How long's the rope? Really long, because they're not close to each other. Like, how often in a carnival is the merry-go-round like a person's width away from the rollercoaster? I have to be in the centre, maybe where the snacks are,

with one rope around my leg to a rollercoaster and the other to a horse in a merry-go-round. He has to then start them at the same time. He must have an accomplice. The weirdest part about that is you just described exactly season three, episode 12 of Murder, She Wrote. To a T. You're a big fan.

Incredible. I feel like every time these kind of crime people show up, you've got Poirot, you've got Miss Marple. Every time they turn up in your town or your place, just fucking run. Someone is going to die. Or start committing murders. Yeah.

One of the two. Yeah, okay. Maybe they going to die. Or start committing murders. They are the trigger. You see Poirot, you're like, oh, I'm going to take out this guy. Finally, I've never had a beef with this guy for a long time. But that's just a calculated decision. If I'm on the Orient Express and I see Poirot, I'm like, if I don't kill, I will be killed.

You know what I mean? Spoilers for the Orient Express. If you're on the Orient Express, you're there to kill. Yeah, that's true. Or die. I might have been one of the porters that was just like, this is a crazy train. Out of everyone we know, who do you think is most likely to be someone that is killed by a big

group of people due to sheer frustration with his existence? Out of all of us, you're the one most likely to murder a baby. I like the idea of me being on the, like, somebody dies it's me, Poirot's just like it was all of you, yes?

No! Does that flashback to everyone killing me, but Poirot was there? We stab you, you grab the knife, stab yourself, and back. No, I'm rubbish, man. Take it back. For sure.

It's also funny if that flashback, that happens, but then literally he's like, it was you, yeah. Like, as in the murder scene's still there. It just happened. He hasn't even left the room. He's holding the knife being like,

it was all of us. Fuck him. So yes, I think the murder she wrote verse would be kind of terrifying. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Well, not according to Rhys Nicholson, apparently. Also, it ties into Magnum P.I., which is something he pointed out. So murder rates are even higher.

Yeah, that's true. A lot of murder. Like you're horrified. Yeah. Like, this guy's a psychopath. So what are we going to do about it? Now, this show is a competition, but I see you have still an empty seat there. Well, we had an empty seat before Dave sat on two.

We have half an empty seat there. And I'm probably an empty seat before Dave sat on two. We have half an empty seat there. And I'm probably the smallest person that will be on this show today. I think it is now time to introduce our second special guest. Guest? Guess. Jess Perkins from Dugout 1 also. Woo! I don't know why we swapped.

Hello! Yeah, talk shows, you've got to move down. No one wants to hear from me anymore. I'm done. I just sit here awkwardly and go, great anecdote. Great, great. Wouldn't it be great if on a talk show they just had like a hole? It's like, and you're done in your hop.

I wouldn't mind that. It was like a ball pit. Yeah, you go wee as you go down. You had like a nice version of that, but in my head it was just a crater and there's no bottom. I like to imagine it's a crater that is only neck high. So you just get your head broken out. Great anecdote.

I imagine it like really thin as well. Yeah, good. It's also good because when they cut to the commercials I imagine it like really thin as well so you're like yeah good it's also good because when they cut to the commercials and they like pan out like you get a long shot there's just heads in a hole that's good

let's make that talk that's our new kickstarter yeah alright great good for you guys thanks man yeah I'm really proud of you

hello everyone alright hit us up with your worst fictional universe. What are we talking about? I also thought of a couple. Okay, yeah, that's good. One of them being Keeping Up With The Kardashians. And don't argue that's reality.

It's not. And they're an odd breed. Anyway. Do we have to live with the Kardashians? I think you'd have to be a Kardashian. And we've got to keep up with them as well. In that universe, I just make a sex tape and I'm

rich, yeah. Yeah, basically, yeah. That's not too bad. Yeah, you just exist. I mean, I'm sorry for an audience, but rich? Yeah. It could be a lot worse. The first one that I originally thought of, I'm not going to go with, but I'll tell you anyway, and it's the reason for your theme music that I picked,

is Thomas the Tank Engine. Oh, yeah. That show was a nightmare. Right? But I catch a lot of trains. Yeah. And I don't want to be getting into a train and it's like... I imagine the floor is like fleshy, like the inside of your cheek

and it would be a bit warm in there Warm and a little bit moist Imagine you're lying, like your head's against the side of the train and you're like Oh, it's breathing Alright then Man, it's breathing

quite fast You know when the cushions kind of get away? There'd be like bone underneath. I don't know. Yeah, and I just feel like some of them would be under the delusion that that was their purpose

and they're enjoying it, but others would be like, this is fucked. And it'd feel like slavery and I don't like that. That's true. I'm glad you're anti-slavery. I'm glad you got that out

on the podcast. It's good to hear. I've got opinions. But no, what I was thinking, my main answer, I think, would be The Hunger Games. Yeah. Did Rhys talk that up last week? No.

He didn't, surprisingly. I don't know. Watching the youth kill themselves is my amusement. Are we, where are we? Are we in The Hunger Games or are we watching the Hunger Games? Well, I think you're just like

living in one of the, you know, districts. What district are we in? Probably like 13. It's underground. Ah, the worst one.

You're not in the capital. You're not in the capital. Why not? There are people in the capital. Although, I'd just like to highlight, this hair definitely

suits the capital. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's very capital. So is the capital just like hipster Melbourne? Fancy boys.

I could be a fancy boy. You'd have to dye your hair green. I do a beard like purple. What I don't like about living in the Hunger Games universe is that when Katniss revolutions, I don't want to revolution. And I feel like I'm obliged. So you don't want to like partake

or you just don't want it to happen at all? No, it can happen. I just when everybody's going, no. You have to? You have to. It's just very Hitler-y. Yeah. It's like any time there's a standing ovation and you're like, yeah, I also love this.

Yeah. I also hate the Capitol, I guess. Whatever. Those guys suck, I think. I'm never in the Hunger Games, so whatever. Nobody ever picks me. But it's a random, though. Oh, okay. And no one is throwing their life up on stage to save you.

Can you vote someone in? They're like, oh, no, they picked the popular kid. No, take the fuck away. Take Jackson. Yeah, I'll go. Get this over with. I ain't doing nothing anyway. What are your noticeable skills?

This is your cue to say great anecdote. What a great anecdote that was. You're not in the hole. You can't talk. From the hole, I'm just yelling out, good one. Yeah. Keep talking. Also, they don't get much time to train before fighting each other,

which I always thought was rough. Yeah, and a lot of their preparation is done on a train too. How do you get much done on a train? It's loud. It's noisy. It's noisy. Crowded. Sometimes if it's peak hour,

I don't know why you're catching a peak hour train to the Hunger Games, but here we are. It's always kind of a bit wet and moist and breathing. And it's going, ah, get out. Get out of me. Stop it. I feel like Thomas the Tank Engine is so much worse than the Hunger Games. And they've all got silly accents too.

Yeah, exactly. On the Hunger Games, you've got real dumb names, but your name, but stupid. Yeah. Cat Jess. Yeah, I'd be Cat Jess, obviously. Dave might be Doug, which is also a name, but I think it's a stupid name.

Dove, yeah, you'd be Dove. You'd be Dove. Okay, I thought I'd be Cat Dave, that's right. Clearly misunderstood. Jackson? You'd be Cat Jackson. Is that not how it works? Catson. Meow, yeah. And the Cattles.

Cole. Don't say Cat Hole. You would not be Cat Hole. You haven't heard our podcast before, have you? Can you miss the Hunger Games? Like, do I have to watch? I think you're kind of forced to. I'll tape it and watch it later.

Well, you can. Someone just tell me what happened. Who's dead? Are our kids dead? I guess, like, their YouTube accrual would be very fucked because it would be like, compilation of all the good teen deaths. And you're like, no, this is entertainment. Once you watch teen deaths 2044, you've got to watch 45, 46, 47.

It's a playlist. You've got to watch it all. And their bloopers are just more teen deaths. But once it maybe happened, like, oh, we fell off a cliff. Like wacky music and like rewinds a bit. Like... Head smashing like a pumpkin on a rock, reforming. Chucking like a laughter track in there.

He must feel like a ride doofus. Where does this path go? I like the Hunger Games now. When it comes to the random allocation, like there'd be people you'd be hoping would get chosen. I like the Hunger Games now. When it comes to the random allocation, there'd be people you'd be hoping would get chosen. Sure. Like you're sitting in the crowd, you'd be like,

I don't know, Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry. Harry has been chosen. Can you imagine being a teacher at one of the district schools? You could threaten it to the young ones. Like, hey, hey, Hunger Games. Hunger Games coming up. Teachers get to make submissions. Just saying. Just saying.

Because you can write your name and submit it so you're like you're the chance of being picked a higher for like more rations or whatever. True. Could you do that for someone else? Just start writing their names. District. Just like chuck it in and be like, yeah, I'll take their food. District 13 becomes the richest district because everybody voted for me.

It's also funny. I guess everyone gets extra. Jackson gets extra rations times a thousand because he really, really wanted to be in the Hunger Games. It's also funny because they draw your name out. Jackson! You're like, fuck. And then they're like, all right, and now the girl. Jackson! I'd just be walking. And then they're like, all right, and now the girl. Jackson!

I'd just be walking on stage with a face like this. What the fuck, guys? Oh, come on. Rude. What the hell? I'm your good friend, Jackson. I hate this town. We hope you lose.

Fuck you. I'm not coming back even if I do win. I hope I lose too. You guys suck. Just walking around the Hunger Games like that. Hey, this is for District 13. And then I take a shit. My eyeballing mechanic.

This is for you guys. It's not a revolution. It's just like, you ever hear the kind of... You know when I get my interview with the guy with the big teeth? He's like, so Jackson, why are you in the Hunger Games? I'm like, I'd like to take a second to call out District 13. My so-called good friends, District 13. Once again, fuck

me on the Hunger Games front. What the fuck, everybody? Alright? Anyway, Jackson. No, no, no, no, no. Called out once. Not once, but twice. Never been done before. Whether or the name's in there?

Hard to say. But my instinct says, probably not. And the next one is Jackson. Okay, hang on. Skip it out. Jackson. These are all Jackson.

And one Jackson. One of you just doesn't even know how to, some of them are spelt wrong. Some of them are just like, that guy we're all picking. You guys didn't even choose. You don't even know me. It's peer pressure.

What an awful town. Yeah, you're right. The hockey game sucks. Okay, I'm bored. So we unfortunately have two extra chairs Two extra mics So we have to have a bit of a competition here I reckon there's plenty of room on this stage

I'm about to fall to my death So what we're going to do We're going to open up the audience to help us out here I love this by the way A bit of a competition between Hunger Games And what was yours Savicka? I forget it now. Hunger Games 2.

Murder, She Wrote-a-Verse. So, on the count of three, three, two, one, round of applause. Not a round of applause, sorry, just a single clap. One big clap. So three, two, one, clap. Alright, so. Does everyone follow? Because every time we explain this, it's really long-winded and it's usually me doing it

and it's good to hear another man drown doing the same explanation. I don't get it, and I don't know. I need to know if I have to leave or not. Okay, so basically, we're going to count down from three. Three, two, one. And then rather than a round of applause to vote, you get one clap. Great.

Okay, got it. So if you think that Murder, She Wrote is the worst universe... Yeah, everyone. No, you idiot. You idiot! You idiot. He explained it poorly twice. Can she vote again? Can she vote again?

Because I need that. I need that. If everyone went early, then you're in trouble. That was like two... And you're too embarrassed to clap ever again. I've lost you. Oh, no, you're clapping. No, no, stop.

No, no, no. Stop. Save your claps. All right. Murder, She Wrote. Oh, no, you're clapping. No, no, stop. Save your claps. All right. Murder, she wrote. Three, two, one. She clapped again. Thank you, thank you.

She clapped again. Well done. That was weird because the room is literally divided. Everyone that can't really... Well, everyone kind of still closer to the bar. It's because they can't see my face. Everyone here can see me and they're like, I do not want this guy anymore.

Get it off. Get it off. Sorry, everyone. Now the Hunger Game verse. Three, two, one. Oh, well done. See you, Dave. Catch you, buddy.

Thank you. And you guys, fuck off. Bye, Cat Dave. Bye. Yeah, when Jessica Fletcher comes for you you'll be thinking of me Dave Wanagy everybody hey Dave, while you have all that spare time can you set up for our show coming up next thanks Dave

thanks Dave what the fuck I heard him say yes I was like very resounding yes from Dave It's very brave of you to do a podcast

with such a rude man I know I'm very hashtag brave Yeah you are Yeah yeah And now bringing out our third and final guest Friend of the show

Friend of all of you guys Michael Shanks Woo Michael Shanks. Woo! It really is a small stick. It's crazy. It's not big. It's not big. It's cozy.

Yeah, so we had to kick Dave off. It's like before the show, it was like, I'm sick, nobody come near me. And I'm like, sorry, Jess. It's okay Jess I'm always sick, it's the end of the festival She's fully sick in the way Ian Thorpe thinks serials are fully sick Relevant to reference Deep cut Did you feel powerful coming out to Stone Cold Steve Austin's theme song?

I do, anybody would Especially Stone Cold Steve Austin because it was written for him That's power I feel like he'd be mad if he found out you just did that. I could take him. He's got pretty busted knees. I got that app, Stone Cold Steve Austin Live Knee Updates.

Run up next to him and sit on the side of his neck. And then you just fall? Or do you reckon he's just too powerful that you won't damage that? I can't hear because I'm so sick. So I'm going to pretend you just fall? Or do you reckon it's just too powerful that you won't damage that? I can't hear because I'm so sick. So I'm going to pretend you just said something and I was like, yeah. I'm so sorry. Anyway, worst fictional universe.

Best fictional universe? Worst. Right. So when tasked with this, like everybody else, I was kind of like, what am I going to do? I don't know what to bloody choose. And I was at my mum's house because I'm a good boy. And I was like, hey mum, what's the worst fictional universe? You're a pop culture

magnate. He outsourced this. And she was like, well there's a place in Australia that's so hot people have to live underground. That'd be a pretty bad universe. I mean she's not wrong.

So not only did she pick a real place, it's not a universe. Nope. It's not fictional. I don't think she knows the meaning of the word fictional or the meaning of the word loving mother. So then she looked around the room, and she was like,

what about breakfast bar of the universe? And I'm like, mum, you're drunk. You have three sherries. And then, no, she actually has a framed picture of Dr. Seuss. And she was like, what about Dr. Seuss? And I'm like, that would kind of suck. Oh, yeah. Imagine if a guy comes up to you and is like, hey,

do you want some green eggs and ham? And you're like, no, it's clearly rancid. And he's like, yeah. Imagine if a guy comes up to you and is like, hey, do you want some green eggs and ham? And you're like, no, it's clearly rancid. And he's like, okay. And then you just continue on with your life. And then you're on a train somewhere. And the same guy comes up and he's like, are you sure you don't want green eggs and ham? And you're like, I do not want them on a train. And he's like, okay.

Later on, you're on a plane. The flight attendant comes out. He's like, okay. Later on you're on a plane. The flight attendant comes out and he's like, what's up? Oh fuck, I do not want them on a train. I do not want them on a plane. He disappears. Later on, you're hanging out with Billy Zane. And he's like,

hey, do you or the phantom want this green egg and ham? And you're like, please dude, I'm running out of rhymes. So I didn't go for that. Because at least in that universe, I'm friends with Billy Zane. I'm like, I loved you in The Roommate. It's a movie nobody's seen.

It was sad when he died on the Titanic. It was. He was the hero of that film. A brave man who was like, women and children, no, me. I can relate to that. I'm a man all about self-preservation. He makes the iceberg look like a hero in that movie. It was like, finally, someone took that son of a bitch out.

But instead, I settled on the worst universe of all, the universe of professional wrestling Who here Who is a big pro wrestling fan? Everyone? Cool, sick So it doesn't matter if you work for the WWF The WWE The www.wrestling.com.org

It's a shitty life Because it is a fiction Sorry to any 11 year olds-olds in the crowd. Just one kid gets up and leaves. A single tear rolls down his face. And then as he gets past you, you're like, Cedric's a real! Why did I come?

And then you suplex him. I'm calling my dad. Stone cold! The music plays again. I go for the knee But basically In professional wrestling The fiction

Your entire existence Is to be an asset Of a company Okay Like you have no life Outside of that It's quite cyberpunk Really

Yeah it kind of is You are an indentured slave To this like Travelling thunder dome Whereby like Each week You're trotted out in front of a screaming, bloodthirsty masses as you have to fight every single one of your work colleagues. It's not a workplace whereby bullying is discussed. Are you putting connections that I'm not liking?

Jack, cover your ears. You're describing his life without the fighting? You're going to give him ideas. I'm sorry. He doesn, cover your ears. Yeah, look, you're describing his life without the fighting. I'm like this. You're going to give him ideas. I'm sorry. He doesn't know about the fighting yet. Cover your ears again. I listened too early.

The veil has been lifted. I'm out of Plato's cave. Outside of the friends you don't actually like, the friends that you think you do like, eventually you will have to fight them to bloody hell because there's nowhere else for the stories to go. Let's say you and I are a tag team. We've ripped out the tag team. Bloody tag team, tag team, tag team.

And then one day you're like, you know what? I'm going to go solo. So we're hanging out in the ring and you nut me. I'm going solo. You're letting the team down. I'm like, ah! And then I can't respond for seven days because that's when the next show is.

But the thing is, we acknowledge the passage of time because the following week on Monday Night Raw, for example, I'll say, last Monday you did this to me. And that was when we were in a different state. So presumably we've traveled on a bus together from one state to a second state, maybe like sharing a bunk. And I can't fucking talk to you because

nothing in our lives matters unless it's broadcast. I like to imagine that we're still very good friends, sharing meals, hugs and everything on the trip to the next place. But then we're like, oh, that's right, I'm mad at you. I think we're in like a sort of stasis. We're in in a husk fugue.

After the show, we deprogram androids. We're put in vacuum seal pamphlets. Pamphlets? Okay. Actually, that's a good female wrestler's name. Pamphlet. Shotgun! Fuck, you got it first.

See, we're only conscious for 52 days of the year, and when we do, we're only conscious for 52 days of the year. And when we do, we're like basically Roman gladiators in the Coliseum. But we don't only have to fight there, but we have to do all of our personal stuff. The amount of marriages that have happened inside of WWE rings is crazy. And I have two examples of which I would like to regale you with right now. Let's take Stephanie McMahon, the daughter of Vincent McMahon, owner of the WWE.

And so she... Spoilers. She's hanging out one day and then she gets into a limo and she's like, Driver, take me somewhere. And then the limo, things goes down.

And who's driving but the Undertaker. Oh no! The literal man resurrected from the dead to shoot lightning. And she screams and he says, where to, Stephanie? And then drives the limo off. The next time we see Stephanie McMahon, it is in the ring

after her being abducted and her father's company, whereby she is strapped to a steel crucifix and is forced to marry the Undertaker, which is pretty spooky. Cut to seven months later, we've dealt with that. Stephanie is now marrying the love of her life, a wrestler called Test.

Real name. And as they're about to say their vows, you know, they're doing the whole wedding in the wrestling ring. JR, the commentator, is there. It's very romantic. Triple H comes down, spoiler alert, and he's like, hey, Steph, you can't get married because remember this?

And he plays a video whereby he drugged Stephanie so she was unconscious, put her in a convertible, because wrestling is classy, took her to a drive-thru wedding chapel in Vegas, and then they were like, do you take this man to take your lawfully wedded wife or husband? And he's like, I'm Stephanie, and then they were like, do you take this man to take your lawfully wedded wife or husband?

And he's like, I'm Stephanie, and yes, I do. And then legally, they're married. And then he comes out, and he's like, by the way, Vince, the dad of the daughter I just totally date-rape married, I conjugated this marriage several times. It's gross. And how was that guy punished? He's now the owner of the company and consensually married

to that woman. It is a nightmare universe. My question is, what happened to the marriage between her and Undertaker? I guess it was annulled. You just can't marry the dead? Well, she couldn't get on with his father, Paul Bearer. A literal Paul Bearer who was

murdered live in a wrestling ring. Who was, again, murdered live in a wrestling ring when he was in a little glass case and then Undertaker filled it with cement and he just drowned in cement and nobody did anything because wrestling is fucked. So did he come back? No, I think he did a little bit, but the

funny thing is, happy ending, he's actually dead in real life now. Oh, happy day! day how could you be like the kid of the guy who played paul bearer and at his funeral you're not like who's gonna who's gonna be the paul bearer who's gonna be the undertaking just the whole back of cement truck in fill it up well i'm glad you brought up funerals, because in wrestling, nothing is safe either, because Big Show's dad died,

and then at his funeral, there was a wrestling match! I feel it's what his dad would have wanted. I have to correct you there. It wasn't quite a wrestling match, but as they were Paul Bearing out the casket, the wrestler he was feuding with, Big Boss Man, came out, attached the casket, the wrestler he was feuding with, Big Boss Man, came out, attached

the casket to the back of his ute, and then drove the ute away, dragging the dad's body. And then the big show, who, look, outside of the fiction, his dad had really died this past week, and they brought it into the story, and he was running after it, screaming Daddy, no! And he jumps on the casket, and it's being pulled through a

cemetery. Imagine being in another cemetery that day, and being like, I don't want mine to go this way. I just can't. I'm flabbergasted. Yeah, it's a nightmare. You had me like, it's not too bad. I'm awake only 52 weeks.

I think two days. I'm like, that's alright. Paraded every, what, for several hours to fight for the amusement of the upper, lower? Yeah, that's alright. I'm like, that's alright. Paraded every, like, what, for several hours to fight for, like, the amusement of the upper, lower... Yeah, the very lower class. Yeah. I'm like, well, yeah, that's alright.

I could live with that life. But this whole other bullshit, no, thank you. I might be, like, unconsensually married to somebody. It is very much like... Non-consensually married to someone. It is very much like

a Mad Max situation. Yeah. If you take it away from, like, wrestling, it's just like Thunderdome, basically. It's like Thunderdome if there was one day a year where everything fucked happened. Because wrestling happens 52 weeks a year, but there's also WrestleMania. And how there is WrestleMania. Last week it was like seven hours. It was very bad. But great.

So yeah, that's when all of your friends who are good friends with you all of a sudden betray you and not you, as you pointed out. Exactly. That happens. I just want to go solo, man. I'm sorry.

I'm thinking about my career. There's also the fact that you have no conviction of your own personality because at any point, you can just be turned into a totally different person. That's so scary. there's um there's also the fact that you have no conviction of your own like personality because at any point you can just be turned into like a totally different person a strong mexican uh proud mexican wrestler charlo guerrero one day uh was just like i think i pronounced that wrong but i'm not going to correct myself um somebody was once like hey what if you were a white guy and he's

like okay what will my last name be let's go with white okay what's my first name gonna be let's go with kirwin like not a name yeah kirwin kirwin white okay and they just changed his race and like overnight similarly there was a guy isaac yankum who was an evil dentist his uh initials were i yankum because wrestling is very smart and um you know surprisingly that wasn't working so well. So the gods of this universe just said, you are no longer that now. Now you are the disturbed brother of the Undertaker, Kane.

And he's just like, I guess I'm not Isaac Yankum anymore. But surely that's a step up. Well, I guess. Surely he's like, thank God I'm not an evil dentist anymore. So that's the lowest opinion of a dentist. It's like, Kane is a guy who murdered his family and is a psycho. Be like, at least he's not a evil dentist anymore. That's the lowest opinion of dentists. It's like, Cain is a guy who murdered his family and is a psycho. Be like, at least he's not a fucking dentist.

Right? Plus, if I'm Cain for a bit, I'm like, eventually I might be someone else. Like, nothing's forever. That's kind of nice. And also, you've brought up the Undertaker. For a bit, he was just a biker. He went from an evil man that got brought back

from the dead to then, I might just wear a lot of denim and ride motorbikes and that can be my thing for a bit. His name was The Undertaker and he stopped undertaking for a bit and then they brought it back. They gave him a massive name change. He was The Undertaker and then he became The Undertaker, the American badass. Oh, fuck. I forgot about that. He's actual.

Well, okay. Isn't anymore. And Limp Bizkit played his theme song live at WrestleMania. So that is a plus. Joyous news. Is that a plus? Yeah, it's something. Okay, so.

Sometimes you just want to keep rolling. Let's just do a read. So we have whatever Wrestle Universe that is, V the Hungerverse. The Wrestleverse. The Wrestleverse V Hungerverse. Okay, three, two, one, single clap. We've got to do this fast because we've got to wrap up apparently.

So, Hunger Games. Remember, Hunger've got to wrap up apparently So Hunger Games Remember Hunger Games V WrestleGames Okay Hunger Games V WrestleGames 3, 2, 1 Oh man

Now WrestleUniverse 3, 2 You fucked up again Again Was it the same person? Why? She's so enthusiastic She just loves clapping Any opportunity to clap Was it the same person? Why? She's so enthusiastic.

She just loves clapping. Any opportunity to clap, she'll take it. She also loves two things by the looks of things. One, clapping early. Two, voting for the loser. Three, two, one. Oh my god, that was close. Play my theme music. Oh god. Wait, wait, one. Oh my god, that was close. Play my theme music.

Oh god. Wait, wait, wait. Are you ready to play your theme music? I'm trying to call it. Wait, wait, wait. It's getting there. Hang on. It'll be worth it. Say it again. Say it now.

Play my theme music. We'll pad for time. We'll pad for time. Wait, wait, wait. Hang on. This is us padding. Just pause it. The best sound guy in the biz.

There we go. Wow. What a payoff. That was worth it. That was absolutely worth it. Woo! That was worth it. That was absolutely worth it. Now, for the most very important vote of the night, we have Wrestleverse versus, what did we choose again? Infoversalverse.

Infoversalverse. I kind of just bullied her offstage. I know. It was intense. It was a good power play. Yeah, thank you very much. She'll see you at WrestleMania. Play my theme music.

All right. Wrestleverse. Yeah, thank you very much. She'll see you at WrestleMania. Play my theme music. No. Wrestleverse, three, two, one. Infoverse, three, two, one. Hero Boy Victorious. Play our theme music. We're mean to our new friend. And on that note note I've been Joel I've also been Joel

I've been Jackson I've been Shanks Dave and Jess come on the stage quickly come on and you've been yay thanks everybody hi And you've been... Yay! Thanks, everybody. Hi. I've been Jessica.

And I'm still Dave. Woo! We've got our show now, so... Yeah, we do go on podcasts. What the fuck is going on here? Oh, no. This Go On podcasts. What the fuck is going on here? Oh, no. This is like wrestling. Wow.

It's awesome. Yeah, we've got Do Go On in here right now, but I'm sorry, it's already sold out. Sorry about that. But if you want to listen at home, you can do that for free. Yeah. Thanks for having us.

Thank you. Thanks for listening. And if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can find us at Sandspants Radio, or you can find us individually. I'm at Douche13. I'm at OldDogsOfDead. And I'm at GodDammitZammit.

If you want to hear our other shows, you can head to SandspantsRadio.com and you'll find all our other content there. There's heaps. And if you want to support us, head to SandspantsPlus.com. Thank you again for listening, and we'll see you again next time. Good night heaps. And if you want to support us, head to sanspantsplus.com. Thank you again for listening, and we'll see you again next time. Good night for now. But not forever. Kisses.