Plumbing the Death Star - What Would Happen to You in the Mad Max Wasteland?

Episode Date: June 9, 2024

It’s the end of the world as we know it, but we’re just lowly and loathed podcasters so what’s a boy to do to make themselves invaluable? Having no discernible talents but wanting to be witnessed, the boys set themselves the herculean task of surviving the Mad Max Wasteland. Jackson wants to be the only man alive that remembers Joey, huffing DVD cleaner to become the Situation Man. Zammit as Softhands the Shaftless remembers a career choice that is leaps and bounds more valuable than a podcaster but requires a copious amount of Mother’s Milk and a pre-emptive eunuching. And finally Joel Duscher aka Mr Speaks reckons his time dealing with absolute morons on a day to day basis (his two co-hosts) put him in the perfect position to bridge the language barrier between the warlords and the warboys. Oh what a day, what a lovely day to thread that needle of being invaluable enough to survive the wastelands, but not too invaluable that you become a target by other warlords. Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. Ahem. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the most important questions. Almost introduced a different show there.

Anyway, the question this week is, what would happen to you in the Mad Max wasteland? Mad Max, things have gone real bad. Are we from the before times? Yeah, let's say we're on the Max journey. Okay, so are we cops? Or are we us? And the world slowly ends and we just manage to make our way to the time of Fury Road and Fury House.

Of course. And that could be 20 years from now. It could be tomorrow. It could be 400. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter when it is. The point is we are the archetypal us in the wasteland. Sure.

It doesn't matter when it is. The point is we are the archetypal us in the wasteland. Sure. I always liked the idea of being a history man, but which are the people tattooed with the history of the world, but for sitcoms. I like the idea of, you know, there's that scene in Furiosa where Dementus is kneeling down in front of the motorbike and the history man's telling him about engines,

but I'm like, Frasier had a brother named Niles. Niles was in love with, oh, fuck. I think it was Daphne Niles was in love with Daphne who was the maid of Frasier's father and Dementors is like I think that's

and I have it all tattooed over me the king of Queens guy will be right in the middle of my belly Kevin James Kevin James right here yeah so he was the king

of Queens I guess like the best approach to what would happen to us in the wasteland is to, because, yeah, like, okay, so you want to be a history man, but for sitcoms, and we'll go through that, like, properly in a second. Sure, sure. But in Furiosa, there is a line which is, like, make yourself invaluable. Yes.

Yeah, that's true. So I guess, like, how are we going to make ourselves invaluable? Yeah. Well, yeah, because, okay, so the world ends. We're podcasters, so we are not valuable at all at first. No, no, no. So we're going to have to pick up new things. Absolutely.

We're probably going to get new names, which we can pick, which usually reflect some element of us. Some element of our general vibe. And you're right. We have to go down the route of like how would you become invaluable because none three of us are real saying

people say is going to become a warlord yeah so warlords off the cards also at the moment if we look

if you take society and you just decide you're going to rank everyone which is obviously an impossible thing to do you take the census and you're going to be like

okay I'm going to use this information to rank everyone the host of obviously an impossible thing to do. You take the census and you're going to be like, okay, I'm going to use this information to rank everyone. The host of Plum in the Death Star, we're lucky to get out of the bottom 20%, I reckon. I think you're right, dude. Keep going. Keep going. That would be if the person who is ranking us is a fan. Keep going.

is a fan. Keep going. If they're a fan, we maybe make the top 80% of worthwhile human beings. Absolutely. Anyone else? The fans are already, their brains are rotten.

Podcasters are probably only slightly higher than politicians. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. No, no. Keep going. I think it goes,

there's like a little sort of layer that's us, and then it's everyone who's in jail. Follow that. No, it would be. No, because people are like, you know, maybe they're in jail for a crime they didn't commit, and there's a possibility no matter how slim it might be.

Also crimes of necessity, crimes of passion, vigilante justice. Yeah. There's good reasons to go to jail. Cops are dogs. Yeah, that's true, actually. That's very true. Police are probably below plumbing the Death Star. Yeah.

Wow. Sorry to all of our cop listeners. Get a real job. And that's coming from me, our podcast host. I think you've got the guy who eats live chickens at the circus. And then us. Yeah. You've got the geek, the circus chickens at the circus. Yeah. And then us. Yeah. You've got the geek, the circus geek, plumbing the death star.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apes that are not quite at human level, but nearly. The man that fucks dogs is slightly below plumbing the death star. Geek at the circus, man who fucks dogs. No, wait. Plumbing the death star. It's great that that's a job. Yeah, the man who fucks dogs and then Mr. Hands.

Plumbing the nuts job. Put that on his census. Yeah, wow. Okay. All right. I don't know what question he answered to get there, but yeah. So now that we've put all of that out there, I think the best thing to start off with here,

so Jackson has very boldly explained his end goal. Yes. Okay, okay. How do you plan on getting there? How does one become a history man in the first place? Well, first of all, history man covered in tattoos. You have zero. For now.

Yeah, but does the tattoos then he become history man or history man and so he writes those. Are those tattoos writings? Yeah. Because there's no paper. So you have to use your body as the page. And for me, I'm writing, eyes are getting weary, shoulders getting tight. Are you writing it or are you getting someone

else to write it? But I'm doing it I am weasel style. Are you writing it or is someone else writing it? I think he writes it because he has the tattoo gun and he's like, hey lady you could write to Furiosa. He's like, you could write some history. You could be history man. And she's like, nah, that's fine. So I would need

I guess to get a tattoo gun. Step one. Or make some kind of homemade rigged tattoo gun and not poison myself. It's not even a tattoo gun. I think you just need some ink. And a knife It's not even a tattoo gun. I think you just need some ink. And a knife. Or maybe like a big pen.

Basically, tattoo prison yourself. Yeah, exactly. If we say that... So you remember sitcoms, which means that you... I'm a storyteller. Yeah, you're a storyteller. Then we're on a break. We're going to get to the bottom of this, though, because that means you have to have existed pre-apocalypse.

Yes. Which is fine. I'm not going to bring... We're going to do the Mad Max thing, which is ages do not matter. If we follow this timeline and we're fucking 65 in this scenario, who cares? To be honest, like, he doesn't have to be from the before times.

You could have just had a working DVD somehow. No, that's what I... Or you read about it in a TV guide that has somehow managed to not be fading. It doesn't matter. No, no, that's what I mean.

So those details, like how he knows about it... Irrelevant. Well, no. How you know about it is a bit irrelevant. Yeah, no, I know what you mean. Age is irrelevant.

Age is irrelevant, but there needs to be some way for me to have picked it up. No, because if everything is irrelevant, then it's just like, I'm a fucking, I'm the dog walker. Why?

Because I decided nothing matters. Yeah, but there's no dogs. Yeah. Yes, there is. There's dogs in Furiosa. Oh, yeah. Dementors has dogs. Got a dog.

Yeah, yeah. No, but I know what you mean. Some things have to matter. It just means I don't have to have gotten it from the before times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're asking me how I know? Yeah, how you know and how you're the only one.

And how, like, basically, how do you know in a situation and use that knowledge in a way where no one else could know that so they need you around to do it? Okay, so I... And what value does that bring? In the city of Melbourne, in the last Blockbuster, I, with a working DVD player and multiple box sets, I monk-like descended into an intellectual prison

made up of old sitcoms from the 80s and 90s. At the end of my quest and pursuit for knowledge, I burn the place down to make myself valuable. I'm the only man who remembers Joey. Not just that, you might have been like, you're holding out in the last blockbuster, and then it gets

raided. And in that raid, stuff gets burnt down. Those VHSs are now nothing. People are grabbing them, grabbing out the tape, wrapping them around yourself. Also, a great way, dress is wrapping yourself. Oh, wrap myself in VHL. I was gonna say, I just like having the idea of like a DVD on a necklace.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome. Pleasure to bag of hands. That's not a sitcom! Oh yeah, you're right, you're right. Doesn't matter, I mean you could show it. Blockbuster season two, also not a sitcom. Yes, because yeah, you could have a lot of sitcom knowledge,

but you might have a little brief, a little bit of... Well, I mean, the blockbuster. Maybe you're on the quest for Bagger Vance knowledge. What? I never got to watch this DVD. What is the legend of Bagger Vance? Oh, yeah, because if I'm like, right, I will watch every sitcom ever, and then I get raided before I get to movies. But Bagger Vance is the only one that I saved.

You've got no DVD plays, but you've got a DVD. I've got a DVD. There's information in this and no one believes me. They think it's like a magic artifact and they're like, how? And I'm like, a laser? How? And you're like, oh, well, you look into it

and you can see the reflections of yourself and the world around you. Yeah, I like a little... You have to decipher it and you could put it in a show. Absolutely. You're there, you're sort of looking at it, you're trying to be like, I can see what's happening.

I know you're making it out like I'm a charlatan, but I like to believe that I've come to believe that there is some... I would never assume you're a charlatan. How do I understand the legend of Bag of Ants? I assume that was how you think that's how it happened. You watched it once and now you're like, and now to access that,

because I no longer have that technology. Exactly. I can do it with my mind. I have like, maybe on me as well do it with my mind. I have like, maybe on me as well, I have the, what was the like, the cleaning spray

for all the, I have that, which I huff. And then I look at the DVD. I'm going to enter sitcom realm, this spiritual realm where I can ask questions

of Chandler from France. Because you vaguely remember Bing as a search engine. You're like, oh, it must be Chandler. Must be. Lord Dementors is like, will we have victory on the battlefield? And I'm like, let me ask Chandler. Could he be any more confident of

your victory? That's good. So you become a history man. He's a seer. I'm a history man sort of shaman. Sitcom shaman is what I've become. You use your sitcom knowledge to become a shaman or a seer. And I guess you would just apply sitcom plots to what's happening. You'd be like, yes, you will be successful and you will buy a boat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who bought a boat in? Joey and Chandler. Oh, you will buy a boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who bought a boat in? Joey and Chandler. Oh, they did buy a boat. That's true. They also have a dock over there. Just like Joey refuses to share his sandwich, so you should refuse to share your resources.

Yeah. And they're like, wow, history man, you know so much about this. We must move, much how like Kramer should not have stayed in the shower exactly you could yeah you could also do stuff where it is very much like yes i i foresee your victory lord uh dementors but you first need a duck and a chicken and then he makes all like some of his cronies dress up like a duck and a chicken i'm like this is right yeah this is right this is what we must do yeah what we have to build a fountain and dance around it for some reason why did they do that oh no one knows it'll be funny when you're in good luck yeah yeah exactly when you're inevitably

accidentally killed by a car yeah falling off a jack it's not even not even a war ring. You're just walking in. Oh, that's a nice looking car. Hey, what's this lead into? Car falls off the jack. It's crushed. Then the warlord you're working for after a week is like, hang on, he made no difference.

I didn't need him at all. He stopped selling me stories after a while. Yeah. Because he got distracted with this DVD he had. Kept going into the DVD realm. And then just randomly telling me things were going to go good. Yeah. And sometimes they didn't.

And he was like, oh, the spirits are. I don't know, man. Sometimes things only have one season. That's the problem. You dressed up people like a duck. You should have found an actual duck and chicken. Yeah, exactly. You sucked it up. Dementus. They were on a break. You dressed up people like a duck. You should have found an actual duck and chicken. Yeah, exactly. You fucked it up, Dementors.

They were on a break. You ate the God NBC. What sitcoms do you think would be the most beneficial for giving advice? I think Friends and Seinfeld are obvious ones. Yeah, yeah, official. Mad About You. Mad About You. Got any Mad About You knowledge?

I remember one episode. Can you name one guy in it? Is there a guy named Harold? I also know nothing about Mad About You. This is the only thing. You could have been just like Ursula, the crossover with Friends. Oh, that's true. Ursula was in both Mad About You and Friends.

That would wow the war boys, dude. They would sit in all of it. Everyone was in a snow globe of a boy in hospital. This world you live in could also be in the snow globe. That's the point of the snow globe.

And St. Elsewhere. History man, what is snow? Snow is like sand that falls from the heavens. Cold sand. That's cold.

Cold sand. Yeah. Snow is like when the VHS ends and there's just static, kind of. I don't know what that is. Before the universe, there was static. Then the HBO logo. That's how I open every tale teller guy.

That's good. Then everybody gets very excited. And then at the end... And then I go and sit down. Another great thing about this whole thing is it doesn't matter if you're wrong. Exactly. I don't know. I don't know.

And I will be wrong. You know enough about a lot of sitcoms and also films. Yeah, exactly. You know enough to get by, and whatever you don't know, you just make up. Can you confidently name the friends right now without hesitating? Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey. Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey. Chandler, Chandler, Chandler, Ross.

Chandler, Chandler, Chandler, Ross. He knew a song. You dumb son of a bitch. He knew it from that lovely song. Did you write that song? It's from a wonderful YouTube channel whose name I cannot recall. Oh, wait.

Is that What If All TV Shows Had... He's like, what if I wrote theme songs for sitcoms I'd never seen? Every one of them opens up with the HBO. Oh, yes! I was thinking about that guy just before in this episode.

It's so good. But I did the HBO intro or whatever. And I could take on an apprentice, call him Young Sheldon. And I could teach him everything I know. So when inevitably I die, the history of, you know, what happens to Roz carries on through the wasteland. Yeah. So do you think you just vaguely know lots of sitcoms or you reckon you're going to latch on to a couple? I think I'll have to vaguely know lots. They'll be like the sort of spirits I can talk to

when I'm sort of determining the fate of my particular warlord. Chandler being George Costanza. George would be getting upset in this movie. He would, I believe. It's really good because you're taking on the Kevin Costner role in The Postman of what he does before I think he becomes The Postman where he's just re-acting Shakespeare

but you're just doing it for sitcoms and without acting yeah and I'm kept in a cage I imagine yeah would you do tattoos

of like writing that only you could read or like crude drawings I think it would maybe look like storyboards up my arms and then I would have

a big Kevin James here from King of Queens and then maybe on my back it would be like a portion of James here from King of Queens and then maybe on my back it would be like a portion of a script or something of like a pivotal moment and maybe friends

maybe it would be the we're on a break conversation I reckon you should use on your back it should have the unused Seinfeld script about where someone gets a gun yeah I wouldn't even know if it was real or not yeah that clip where Elaine is like

how are you going to shoot me? the Kennedy and she goes through various famous assassinations and at the table read they were like I didn't even know if it was real or not. Yeah, that clip where Elaine is like, how are you going to shoot me? The Kennedy? And she goes through various famous assassinations. And at the table read, they were like, we shouldn't do this. Is this funny? This isn't funny. I should have that on my back. Absolutely.

Interior. Yeah. Ross's apartment. It's a rare one. We don't often see this. Apartment. They don't know what that means. No.

They sleep in holes. It's like a big hole. We don't often see this. Apartment! They don't know what that means. No. They sleep in holes. It's like a big hole. Storyteller, what's an apartment? Oh, yeah, get ready for a lot of questions about every single term. Oh, that makes you invaluable. Exactly. You have the knowledge. Coffee shop?

Yeah, exactly. I'd be like, the friends are at Central Perk, their favorite coffee shop. What is coffee and also shop? You know when you- They probably know shop. Yeah, because you still might be bartering for things. Coffee is like, you know water is brown. Yeah.

And not much of it. You know how water is brown and when we chrome, how it gives us a high? Yeah. Now imagine that- Imagine if instead of it making you sick, the brown water gave you a sort of high. Made you better in battle. Made you better in battle, but not as

intense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Ross arrives and he is mad at his job as a paleontologist. Paleontologist, drum! No, they nerd jump, they nerd jump. Paleontologist is like, you know how when we die and no one cleans up the body, there is bones? But you don't know if that was your friend.

Valhalla. Yeah, yes, Valhalla. You don't know if that's your friend or just some guy. Yes. Paleontologist can figure out what guy that was. That's funny because it feels like I've maybe lost the dinosaur element of it. He was like Bone Doctor.

The Bone Doctor will be furious to hear that. Like a bone mechanic? A bone mechanic being like I am Ross. No, you don't want to be Ross. Ross is annoying. Ross, ha. You say he on break.

Ross was on a break. I'm losing control. It sounds like they weren't on break. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, fuck. Oh, no, you might have divisions. You might have little camps that set up. You'll have war boy Rachel, war boy Ross.

Oh, he's like war boy break, war boy no break. Oh, dude. I am like Kramer. No, no, no, no, no. There's going to be a lot of that. Mr. Peterman. I am like Mr. Peterman. Why?

I don't think so. I, Newman. I relate. I am also next door. No, you're not. Why are our war boys Neanderthals? Why have they become basically cavemen? Don't they?

I am Newman, shiny and crow. There we go. That's more like it. Yes. Why would you want to be? That's so funny to imagine. I am Newman, shiny and crow. He collects things like Isaac.

He keeps it from the man. Newman is stealthy, like me. Newman is secret. He is quiet. He is friends with Kramer. You are like Kramer. You are my Kramer. You annoy me like Kramer does Jerry.

And you, you're Ross. Oh, no. A worse insult. It does feel like it could get out of hand. Yeah, you've created hostilities and teams within the War Boys. A Morton Jur's furious at you. I have to be like, no, though the Seinfeld crew do get on each other's nerves, they are together friends.

Yes. Seinfeld together. Strong. Yeah, sure. We're back in the caveman route. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talking to them like they're apes. Yeah.

What's the guy doing? Yeah, I might have to. Yeah. I think you could kind of, you know, I could be like whoever the cleverest demoness is. Oh, actually, we get that. The communication somewhat barrier is evident in Furiosa when you get Dementors trying to talk to the war boy they find. Yeah, that's true.

He doesn't know what's going on. Yeah. Right. Yeah, maybe. Sure, what's that? Could be that way. I don't know. Oh, yeah. Sure, what's that? Could be that way. I don't know. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, there's resources aplenty or something. What's regarded as Benny? If the Wallboys are like that guy, though, we're going to have a great time hearing about it. Tell us more about Kramer. What Kramer do Smeg tell us the story of Smeg

boss does he mean Ross does he mean Ross but it's funny as well because you would have all these sitcom characters but also in the context of the wasteland so if I told a story about

Kramer he comes to Jerry's apartment and he eats the food without Kramer giving him permission and they'd be like a story about Kramer, he comes to Jerry's apartment and he eats the food without Kramer giving him permission. And they'd be like, does Jerry kill Kramer? No. Send Kramer to Valhalla, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I understand. Jerry tolerates Kramer eating his sandwiches. So you're saying sometimes it's okay for your Kramer to steal your sandwich? Can I steal sandwiches from my Jerry? I must talk to a Morton Joe. I fucked up. I'm going to throw you off a bridge now. Because also, yeah, you're doing the kind of like, you know, Seinfeld together strong,

but he's also very much against the warlord of like strongest Seinfeld wins. Yeah, that's true. You might have to alter your stories a bit. Yeah, I might have to be like, and then Kramer came to Jerry's apartment and took ham and sandwich ingredients out of the fridge and Jerry slew him for his crime. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they'd be like, oh, that makes sense, that makes sense. Took a brick to his head. It wounded him, but don't worry, because he will return in next story. And then Elaine... You've the good of Mr. Peterson. And I would have to be, would I also, do you think, fill a sort of dwarf warrior style role in battle where I have to do the sitcoms from my cage or slap bass?

I don't think you are in battle, my dude. Yeah, Is from my cage or slap bass. I don't think you are in battle, my dude. Yeah, I've kept it camp. Which is good. Which is good. You're probably weak, though. Very weak, but like sick weak. Not just your normal weakness. I don't know.

They treasure the history man. The history man is... He's old, though. He's also making Dementus' legacy. Yeah. So he might be kept next to... I'm next to a better history man. No, but like as in...

In battle. Like you're there jotting it all down. To write down what happened. Yeah, true. That's the storyteller. That's a historian, right? Yeah. You are a storyteller.

You were in the campfire as well. True. But the thing is, yes, if you're very good at your job, which, you know, they have nothing to compare it to, so you would be. And no one else is doing that job, so I'm the best at it. You have become a target for other warlords. That's true. Because they want you.

I want to know the power of the sitcom. Because if they, yeah, they, you know, maybe they do some raiding. They get a war boy, whoever, that they don't kill, and they start talking about, I don't know, the benefits of a Kramer. Absolutely. There'd never be a Ross. You there, mate, fetch me the situational comm, man. And then he's like, where'd you learn this?

Oh, no, you're gonna have, you say you're gonna have a lackey or a little apprentice or a young Sheldon. That might be out of your control, mate. Absolutely. You might get some, yeah, war boy he might be lost out there. He gets picked up by someone then he becomes

the next situation. He starts spreading his story. And I can also imagine, you know, through the sort of wasteland telephone or whatever, like a game of telephone,

people not quite understanding what I do and warlords stringing me up and being like, give me the secret of Al Bundy or whatever. Well, I like the idea that sitcoms come back to you and it's like, yeah, mate, I was hearing the story

of when Elaine and George finally got married and you're like, that didn't happen. They never got married. They actually didn't like each other very much. You're ruining the canon. You're ruining the canon. Jerry and Elaine who dated, but they were exes before the series started.

That's their relationship. There is one story where they did once again have sex, but then they ignored it because it ruined the sort of vibe of the show. Did they ignore it or did they just... They pretend it didn't happen. Yeah, they're just sort of like, hmm, that wasn't a good idea. No, in the end, they sleep together. No, but the characters themselves are just like, meh.

No, it's crazy. There's an episode of Seinfeld really early on where Jerry and Elaine... I know they pretend to be a couple again. No, they're like, we should be friends with benefits. Oh, okay. And then they're like, hey, you know what? The classic Seinfeld bit is like this, that, and the other, which is fucking. Yeah.

And then they're like, maybe we shouldn't, maybe we should. And then at the end, the very end of the episode, and basically the episode ends with them going to sleep together. Yeah. And then it's just never referenced again. And it's because internally, but it's like they don't end being like, we probably shouldn't do that. The episode ends with like, this is us for the future.

But then internally they were like, why did we do that? And then Larry David was like, I don't want to do that. So they just ignored it. And I wouldn't, see, I know these things. I'm a valuable situation man. You're the situation man. I'm the situation man. You mentioned married children.

I think that's a very good framework upon building your empire. Absolutely. Because you kind of got like, yes, he does it. He works for the man, and you can build yourself up. He got the Jeffersons. They're pieces of shit. They are nice and never trust the nice. He wants to scratch his balls, mate, and his wife won't shut up.

I think any family unit is useful because I can say to the warlord, you are like Homer Simpson or whatever. Family guy. Family guy. Get all of that going. You are like Peter Griffin, and this is a sea of Megs. Yeah, absolutely. I think I'm super valuable. You want, yeah, absolutely. I think I'm super valuable.

You want a situation, man. I'm entertaining. I also can access the spiritual realm. Yep. And also I'm useful as a sort of military strategist.

Yeah. Or at least for gassing you up about your already pre-planned military strategy. And, you know, whatever you say, you could get someone who is a military strategist

to, like, try to decipher what it is that you were talking about. That's true. And then you could be like, yeah, man. That's it. He's figured it out. I just need to huff my VHS cleaner, stare at my DVD of Bag of Hands, and then spout off some, you know, gibberish about what's – and then that gets interpreted by a military strategist. They go out and fight on the Fury Road. And they lose.

And if they win, great. If they lose, well, they just didn't interpret it right. Yeah. Or if they lose and I'm just trapped in a cage in the desert somewhere, well. So be it. Life's, you know, cheap. And good on the Fury Road. So I was thinking.

Yeah. I think it's very, very good. So I was thinking, now I have really no discernible skills. Okay. But before I did this job very, very good. So I was thinking. Now, I have really no discernible skills. Okay. But before I did this job of being a loathed podcast. Yes. I was also a masseuse. Oh, bro.

Now, a lot of Immortan Joe's gross children. Yeah. And also a lot of just people that are born in the wasteland clearly have a lot of, let's say, I don't know, maladies. Yeah. Yeah. have a lot of, let's say, I don't know, maladies. Yeah, yeah. That I feel a lovely anywhere between 30 minutes to two hours relaxing massage will help.

And you've got to imagine their tense. They are so tense. And you know what? We might not have a lot of, I don't know, like massage oil, but we do have like oil. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Gasoline. Gasoline.

Absolutely. Powders of sorts. There's something spiritual about being massaged in gasoline, you know, for your leader, I think. Doused in it, then massaged. Does a modern Joe have a masseuse in Fury? He's got a little boy who pumps smoke up into the space between his weird clear armor and his diseased skin. They blow that powder. Yeah.

Oh, that's true. It's powder. Yeah. Oh, that's true. It's powder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I worry about is what's going to happen to you if you touch all of those gross, horrible people. That's true.

One of the problems there is if I have, say, open wounds, which in the wasteland, you might. And maybe I cut my hands on those weird wounds because some of them look sharp. Might happen.

That's crazy, dude. Might happen. Sharp tumor slicing your palm. Oh, gross. But also, if Zammett is invaluable to the warlord, I mean, if I was a warlord and you were my masseuse, I'd want to keep your hands as soft as possible. Just have you soaking your hands in gasoline.

No, I'd be soaking it in, well, in mother's milk. Yeah, absolutely. You'd have somebody that's milked just for your hair. Yeah, then just squirt breast milk into your hands. Another problem I find here is that maybe, like, warm. Thank you. But also weird because that mother's milk, like, that's life-sustaining. That's sustenance.

Well, you soak it and then you drink it. Delicious. Gross. Yum. Gross. Yum. Yeah. It's another problem I do foresee because it could be a thing of like, well, it's good for the warlord to get masseuse. Well, you know, he's got to have his whole harem.

All his wives all need to be relaxed and everything like that. I might get castrated. Yes. You will get castrated. Just, you know, just in cases. You may be sort of a eunuch to Morton Joe. Which is fine. Hey, honestly, it's fine.

Take away that temptation. Exactly, because what's worse, and this is a crazy question, fucking one of a Morton Joe's wives, or having your penis and balls chopped off. Making sweet love to one of the Mouton Joes' wives and then being found out. Oh, yeah.

Or cut that off at the pass. That's funny as well when you're offering your services and you're like, before I will agree to this, my request is chop off my dick and nuts. That's just me stopping any future problems. Then you don't need to even worry about that.

I know I've gone on early episodes. Maybe I would rather die than get rid of my beautiful dick and nuts. But at this point in the wasteland, I'm like, well, I know me. Exactly. I will get into trouble. You don't want to massage one of his beautiful wives, and then she gets amorous with you, and you're like, well, something worse than having my balls and dick cut off

is going to definitely happen to me. I know in my heart of hearts that I'm like, I reckon I won't get caught. Of course. She's not going to tell. How could they possibly tell? Exactly. And obviously you feel sorry for these ladies and you're a man with very nice soft hands coming in.

It's very intimate. It's very sexy. Dude, you've got to chop your dick off. You're going to have in. It's very intimate. It's very sexy. Dude, you got to chop your dick and nuts right off. Yeah, you're going to have to. It would have to happen. Yeah, fair enough. How? Yeah. What's the question, dude?

What's up, man? The dick and nuts removal seems pretty rough currently. Right. Yeah. How would they do that in the wasteland? Big knife? The end? Or would they dock you like a sheep? I guess it'd probably dock. Yeah. How would they do that in the wasteland? Big knife? The end? Or would they dock you like a sheep?

I guess it'd probably dock. Yeah. But that's what the organic mechanic's there for. Yeah. He just chops off your dick and nuts and you're like, great. Perfect. All I gotta worry about is drinking sweet mother's milk and massaging Immortan Joe's disgusting back. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a pretty good- I think he would live a very pampered life. I think so too. Do you think that you would be valuable enough, though, that other warlords try and steal you?

Of course! Yes! Yes! So you're banking on yourself being not only a masseuse, but the best masseuse? No. Just, I think, any masseuse. There's no other masseuses.

Well, yeah. Maybe there are, like, with other sort of, like, you know, other people training and that kind of stuff. And, again, a masseuse, you know, it could be a lot of them, sure. But the thing is, is everything is subjective. But if you are a Morton Joes one, you can be like, I can help you with your, I don't know, Morton Joe, you look like you have headaches.

Yeah, oh, absolutely. And you could just do something and then hopefully you get in their favor. The thing that would worry me for you, and obviously maybe with a Morton Joe there's enough security that this wouldn't happen, but say it's Dementis. He seems like a tense man.

He does. You're giving Dementus a massage. You relax him. And then someone raids the camp when Dementus is too relaxed to fight back.

That tension probably helps in the wasteland because you're locked like a spring ready to pounce. But the raid is coming and Dementus is like

sleeping good for the first time in his life. You might be the downfall of... But... So Dementus they get raided. They find you in his life. Yeah. You might be the downfall of... But so Dementors, they get raided. They find you. You're like, I'm a masseuse.

You go with Lord Gomungus or whatever. Yeah, Gomungus is like massage me. So you slowly work your way through. That's probably how you get to a more... Yeah. Look, Gomungus, you did an awful lot of raiding. And look at... You're wearing half a boot.

Why don't you put your legs up on a war boy and let me take care of those i like the idea that you cause the downfall of every warlord because other warlords just follow you and they'll be like all right we give him a couple of nights and then we attack when he gets nice and soft yeah you imagine you are all you are Warlord Gamungus. You have only one boot. You've been raiding, you've been walking, you've put your foot onto like a motorbike on the little pedal. Gamungus' back must be fucked because he's walking like this. I start rubbing that foot,

doing some of those squeezing ones on the heel, up the calf. I can imagine some of these warlords. I imagine a warlord with my elbow in there, glutamous maximus. And I'm doing some of that, moving their leg, maybe some release in some of that tension, some of those muscles. Also, it feels like they're so tensed up that if you relax them, they might die just from that. Yeah, and then they might die just from that.

They get a heart attack. All that was really kicking together was stress and strain exactly and then i'm there there i'm like he massaged him so good yeah he fucking died he's got the magic touch the death touch yeah but where the death touch with the soft hand uh so yeah either i'll be feared and killed or be desired and work my way through war logs. I think there is a big chance that someone will kill me and take my hand. Yeah. Yep. Because I think what's going to happen is me and take my hand.

Yeah. I think that what will happen is there'll be war boys. We're not even war boys. It'd be like, where's your house? Or someone will be like, like a lieutenant. Yeah. He gets to spend all his time with the wives.

I want to be in there, mate. It's a Richter's move. I'm going to take his hands and I can touch the lady. Why does the soft hands get to go in there, Dad? Because he's got soft hands. Curse my rough workman's hands. And my horrible face and demeanor. That's my name.

Anus. It's so funny as well to imagine him with the soft hands trying to give him a massage. He's getting killed by a Morton Joe. Yeah. At least I got avenged maybe. He's nice. You would have to keep, because again, I would want to keep your hands soft and your whole body pampered or whatever, which means you're going to spend a lot of time

maybe even submerged in mother's milk. Well, again, it's like with the masseuse thing. Sleep in mother's milk. You would often find when they're doing masseuse, it's like, yes, the people who were doing the massage, they themselves were either like, well, no one's really looking after myself. Yeah, of course.

It's that kind of thing as well. And so you can get like masseuse built quite big and that kind of stuff, almost like a rictus kind of. Yeah, yeah, true, true. Really, really release those. I feel I would have to work out a lot as well because, again, having to release the tension of a giant tumor, that's a lot of work. That's hard.

Well, the good news is that prior to becoming the masseuse, I don't know, you'll probably be helping out at the camp, lifting up big poles and stuff. It is funny to imagine. They're always carrying big poles. You've got to carry stuff. There's so much carrying in the wasteland. The problem there is that will make my hands not soft. Yeah, exactly.

I've got to wear some gloves. Yeah. It's funny to imagine as well if you get big and muscly and you kind of look like one of Immortan Joe's sons and then a Mad Max type coming in and being like, pulling a gun on you and you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm the masseuse. I'm the masseuse. I actually don't know how to fight. of look like one of a morton joe's sons and then a mad max type coming in yeah being like pulling a gun on you and you're like no no no no no i'm the masseuse i'm the masseuse i actually don't know how to fight that would be a crazy last words i don't know how to fight i'm not a threat

oh max you and then you would feel his hands would be like this well this never worked a day in his life i should cut his hands off his hands are his power and he's got no dick and nuts what happened to this man I'm not a fan of the fight oh fuck I got no nuts I got no nuts I'm not a fan no nuts no nuts what oh that's good must stop him

brief moment see see let me give you a massage Max I'll take down my like you know my belt string or whatever see nothing so if your name

is no dick you're not named for the fact that you're a masseuse not dick not dick not dick like no shaft

yeah shaftless yeah beware the shaftless beware the shaft beware yeah he relaxes you too much

He will come with soft hands to your camp Turn him away Beware the shaftless On the edge of the campfire Let me massage you my lord He's the downfall of a many a warlord Currently I think You are at more risk of dying

Than Jackson But you are relatively more risk of dying than Jackson. Yeah. But you are relatively, well, you're not safe. No one's safe. If you pick the right warlord, you're okay. Yeah. I think. You'll be protected, and provided that you do the right job, and you're good at your job straight away,

you could probably rise into a position where you're protected. And I think your value is high. My value is fine. You're more of a common man, kind of. Yeah, exactly. I'm part of the community, you know what I mean? When you're in the tower, if you're in the Citadel. I'm eating maggots, you're drinking water.

I think that you should try and team up with the people leader. I know that his name suggests that you shouldn't team up with him. He would love a massage. He would. He would. He'd love one. I was thinking the best person. He'll probably ask for a happy ending, though, and the happy ending

will be you tweaking his nipples. Perfect. That's fine. I can do that. My issue, I think, as well, would be the ideal person to have done this to would have been probably a Morton Joe's brother. Yes, true. Because that man, clearly, he liked fine art. Yes. He liked a bit of a life

of leisure. Absolutely. And he got, well, he got got by Dementors. Yeah, he got a bit of a life of leisure and he got well he got got by Dementors yeah he got a big spike through his head yeah and that's

my problem might be that the warlords who might really like my services are probably easy pickers yeah that is true or like potentially yeah you might imagine

someone like a Morton Joe doesn't see the value you know he's like well I don't want to go soft yeah he'll make me soft I want to stay hard and tense so yeah you're kind of only getting yeah that is a shame but for a period of time You know, he's like, well, I don't want to go soft. He'll make me soft. I want to stay hard and tense.

So, yeah, you're kind of only getting, yeah, that is a shame. But for a period of time, to be the masseuse for Gastown, it's not so bad. Yeah. So I think that my skill, and I've been thinking, like, what's something that I've experienced with that could potentially help me on the war field or the Fury Road or the Wasteland. And something that I maybe do in my day-to-day life now. Yeah. And it actually is something that comes up in Furiosa. In fact, it's something we've mentioned already. Oh, my God.

I think I would be a great translator between the educated and the uneducated. Okay. Why speak to morons all the time? Okay. So when a war boy has something they can't articulate, when they come in and be like, Big Dust Devil! Big Dust Devil!

Horizon! There is a threat on the horizon. Or alternatively when they're like, we're looking for the green place where there's resources are plenty and bountiful. Yeah. We're looking for the place that's green where there's heaps of stuff. That is useful. Yeah.

You're kind of like a history man without the history. Yeah. Yeah, you're an interpreter. To be able to speak fucked up and also communicate to the warlords in charge is useful. Does that mean when you, do you know stuff if they're like, oh, that gas town full of guzzling. Are you leaning into a Morton Joe and being like, that's gasoline?

No, I think I would just do the thing of like, if someone looked at me, I would translate, but otherwise I just. You better stay silent. The only thing, if you're like, that's gasoline, he's like, I, mate, I fucking know.

I'm going to rip your head off. Or he's like, no, it's Guzzoline. And you're like, my mistake? I apologize. I apologize. So, because I think that's the thing as well. You're a great propaganda machine for a warlord to come in. Die for the cause!

But you're also going to need to be able to, if somebody comes in with bad news, you're going to be able to translate that in a way that is going to soften the blow. Give me some war boy bad news. War rig cactus. Immortus. Oh no.

Oh no dude. Immortus. Well, you just get down on your knees, hands behind your head. I just turn around and walk off. It's like grabbing one of the sticks. Oh, okay. One step at a time. Oh, well.

Not even a big fancy jump Just a I'll fuck off Snapping off Did he just call me a mortis? Yeah Yeah good Yeah he did

I'm glad he's dead Yeah good Let everyone know my name That moment when you finish with the ass Where your stomach drops And you're like I've killed myself I had a good run I can't even define this No When you finish with the S, your stomach drops and you're like, I've killed myself.

I had a good run. I can't even define myself. Correcting myself won't help. I'm fucked. The war boy's still there like, it's Cactus May. Cactus May. Cactus. Well, we don't know what's wrong because he called me a mortis. And then he blew up.

Morton Joe, Joe received some terrible news from the Fury Road. The convoy we sent out has been destroyed. Yeah, okay. I mean, like, it works. You know. And then he'll be like, what happened? And then the war boy will be like, ambushed,

mate, by fucking whatever. And then I'm like... I think the struggle is that... One thing that separates me from you I think the struggle is that one thing that separates me from you two though is that I am being taken out into battle yeah absolutely you're taken between

for warlord meetings and stuff you're there too especially because you can see like Dementus he's very articulate he's got a big wider vocabulary than the rest do you reckon that's because he's got a big Wider vocabulary Than the rest Do you reckon that's because He's got a history man?

Yeah probably It probably helps Having a history man See also What you kind of want to do Is the other way around You kind of want to be able To communicate

Well yeah that's what I mean You can do both Yeah Which is again useful Which is why So me doing both Would be why You would take me

On the battlefield Yes yeah absolutely Because if I could only just Because there is this There is this big divide between the warlords and their lackeys. Yeah. Especially with the Morton Joe. I almost slipped up there. I was like, I'm Morton Joe.

I had to really think about it. I had to really think about it. Me bad. See you in Malala. Well, enough ago. So, yeah, with the Morton Joe, there is this big divide. But for some other warlords, not so much. Well, I think.

Yeah, you really need to because there is this clear, clear divide. And I think that there is something that is lacking. And I guess it's by design for Immortan Joe. Yeah. It's tough. Because he's like, well, no, I am their god. I want that divide. So you could be, yeah, the voice, the herald.

Well, yeah, like when you look at the original Gastown owner occupancy, yeah, like everyone's kind of talking on like the same page. They got a fucking phone. Yeah, they got a phone. It's crazy. They got a phone. But I think a place where you would be the most valuable is because I think those warlords, a lot of them are people from the before times.

Yeah. Like us. Yeah. Like us. Yeah. And then the lackeys, your war boys, your freaks, your junkies, whatever. They're half-lives. They're half-lives. They're half-lives. So you're between full-life and half-life.

But where I think you'd be really useful is if there was a half-life warlord who got a history man to try and educate themselves, you'd be like the go-between. Yeah. You could help a warlord rise to prominence. If there was a Half-Life warlord using, like, $5 words but a $0.10 sentence, I would just be like... Just like, not quite. I sort of... You're close, but actually...

Well, like how Jack had to go and basically be in a blockbuster, how do you find the knowledge of what the war... Because you have to spend time with all the war... Yeah, you're going to learn to speak war, boy. You would have to. Yeah, but I mean... I understand right now, like, you know, we speak to us, the dumbest people.

Yeah, that was where my experience was coming from. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it. And then, yeah, but it's like was coming from yeah we get it and then yeah but it's like you know we have the vocabulary the same of like a lot of people out there whereas say like a war boy

you know you need to be able to speak yeah because it's not that hard to like you know decipher kind of what they're saying

if you know a little bit about you know Australian slang or whatever yeah yeah but it's kind of like I guess it's a it's like an

anthropologist kind of study almost. Yeah, yeah. You need to be kind of witnessing. Can I get that one again, please? Anthropologist? Yeah, there we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you just added an extra syllable.

Anthropologist? Anthropologist? Yeah. Did you say anthro-o-pologist? Yeah, I think you did. Yeah, anthropologist. That's a good one. It's all right.

Recently when I was reading out an email address, I didn't notice it until I was editing the podcast. I said.com instead of.com. How did we miss that? How did we miss that? But I think you'd have to witness them. Yes, absolutely. But that's not like... As long as you were of a protected group,

you could walk amongst the war boys. Because honestly, the beauty is that you would sort of have a foot in both worlds so the war boys would be like well through Joel Dusha

the talking man we can it's funny that you call me Joel Dusha Mr. Speaks then through you they can

get their demands met that otherwise maybe a Morton Joe wouldn't you know what I mean and then vice versa well and the things we get with the war boys in the films is like,

if someone talks to them or gives them any time of day, they're stoked. Yeah, absolutely. Am I accidentally kind of causing a bridge that will result in a Morton Joe killing me because the war boys think they're worth more than he wants them to think? Yes, very possibly. That's potentially, yeah. But you are keeping a gap between them. There is still a divide, which is, you know, by design.

Yeah. And I guess Joe just, if I work for him, if I was representing the war boys, I'm dead. Yes. But if I'm representing a war lord, I'm fine. Exactly, because Immortan Joe might say, hey, let the war boys know they're worthless to me and they should die for me. Yeah. And you can go down and say that in a way that they I'm fine. Exactly, because a Mordorian might say, hey, let the war boys know they're worthless to me and they should die for me. And you can go

down and say that in a way that they want to hear. What I would be worried about... Valhalla awaits, fellas! You're all cactus! But I think what would be kind of concerning is because the war boys in the Citadel they have their own sort of way of speaking. But you would also be called out if

say, raiders from a distant land with their own way of talking came in. But you would also be called out if, say, raiders from a distant land with their own way of talking came in that you would have to actually decipher. I reckon I would be able to. I'm trying to think of a sentence You need to be a traveling man almost. Or just like you need to be able to figure out what, I'm trying to think of something that could be, like a way of saying

there's a place of abundance. Like if I run into someone that's using Cockney rhyming slang. Yeah, and they're like in the distance there's a place of abundance. Like if I run into someone that's using like Cockney rhyming slang. Yeah. And they're like, in the distance, there's the cum dance. It's like Cockney rhyming slang for abundance. It's the best I could come up with on a short period for a little lead in time. Well, yeah, I imagine. You don't know.

There's a cum dance on the horizon. Awesome. It's good either way. Initially, I'm like, is it rain? Is a cum dance the rain? Is it rain? Is it like an oasis kind of stuff? Is it snow?

White droplets falling from the sky? No, snow is cold sand. That's right. It's the static before and after the universe. Wait, have I run into you now? Yeah, this is one of the periods. Morton Joe stole me. There's a little come dance that could be

while you were dancing in an oasis. Or is it an orgy? Is he talking about an orgy? You're also not talking in rhyming slang when it came to snow. What? So what feasibly could a come dance be? But I guess actually that's not so bad.

I guess you just like, I would just ask more questions. Yeah. And I suppose but I guess actually that's not so bad I guess you just like I would just ask more questions yeah and I suppose as well that one's not so bad because when you found a place of abundance a Montjo's not going to be upset

that you couldn't quite figure out what it was and if you're like it's either snow which is cool because that means water an orgy which is cool

because fucking rocks or anything and then you know what I mean it's good but if it's something bad that's when you're in trouble yeah or it could be like oh come dance well it's a come dance we don't need to go, you know what I mean, it's good. But if it's something bad, that's when you're in trouble. Yeah. Or it could be like, oh, calm dance.

Well, it's a calm dance. We don't need to go there. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's true. Like, icky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yuck.

No. But if they say something like, I'm trying to think of, you know, like something like a threat. So do you know any other languages by English? No. I feel that might be the moment you... Somebody comes and says

something to you in Hindi and you're like, and the monitor's like, why do I keep you around? I know what the war boys are saying. Really good question, actually. See you in Valhalla. I've reached the end

of my usefulness. Because, yeah, if you had a study of, say, etymology maybe, you could be like, I know how the English language and Australian language as well, how that kind of evolved from. And so I can understand where it came from. So maybe I can see where it's going looking at the society we live in. Yeah, true, true, true.

I won't be doing that. I'll just be vibing it out. Yeah, I don't know how well you'll survive off vibes. I think well enough for a bit and then a couple months. To see who wins, how many years in the wasteland do we live? You, I reckon you've got five max. Yeah. I reckon, I think it's, yeah, JD, I reckon you're the one that's going to die first.

Yeah. Well, see, mine is... It's situational. It is. Mine is situational because I feel like the... So, yes, five I'll take. Yeah. Zamik, yours is a tricky one, though.

Yeah. Because you could be, like, 10, 15 years. Yeah. Or it could be a week. Oh, that's not the problem with all of us. No, no, no. It could all be a week. But I feel like out of all three of us,

yours is the one that could be shortened immediately with just like one decision. But I would say that's because you've picked the most valuable role

in the... You know what I mean? Yeah. You would be the most coveted of the warlord slaves. The most valuable role but also the one

that could easily do a slight the fastest. Yeah, that's true. You touch the warlord somewhere. You know, obviously doing a massage on someone, it hurts. Intimate. And intimate.

You do it in the wrong place, he's like, I've been stabbed. Or just like, I've become Immortan Joe's wife. Yeah, exactly. Very neat. Then you survive longer. Yeah, that's true. That's true. But you know what I mean?

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, Jackson lives longer than me, hands down. Yours is the only one where it's not like a... I think I live a long time because I've picked a role that is not so valuable, but it's also not worthless. People are just like, oh, yeah, that guy. Cool. He remembers Frasier.

Yeah, keep him around. Yeah, we probably should do... He can list the guys in Family Guy. That's nice to hear. A storyteller. Useful. Keeps the war boys, you know, off everyone's back. Glenn Quagmire.

He's one of them. Oh, yeah. I think it's good to just stick to first names. Brian. Glenn. Glenn. Joe. Joe.

Cleveland. Donna. Peter. Peter. Lois. Lois, yeah. Everyone sitting around me in, like, reverence. Stuart.

Mort. Mort, yeah. I don't know if the chicken's got a first name. Rupert. Rupert, that's the bear. The bear! Yeah. What's a bear?

It's like a... Big dog. Big dog, but this one's like... Small and soft. Small and soft. And dead. Oh, wait, they've got teddy bears. It's like teddy bears.

Stop asking questions. Yeah, I think Is a storyteller useful Because again Also it can You know Also it can Quality rebellions as well Exactly

Because again They're just focusing On the storyline Whatever Or stories that have Happening It's a good way To keep you know

The masses up It's entertainment That's not fucking Or killing Yeah So Again Masseuse

Potentially good for If I'm just Doing a warlord A bit of a target If I can do Maybe the lieutenants As well Something like that Againlord a bit of a target if I can do maybe the lieutenant as well something like that

again also a bit of a target and can be risky but at the same time if like another raider is coming in the only reason why they would want me

is if they've heard about me which is also potentially dangerous but hopefully the note's going to shoot me in the head yes yeah yeah

translator that is found out to not be as useful because you can like, in our society, there's people who are unqualified for a lot of their jobs and they can just keep going until retirement. So you could coast this for 20 years. If you get, like, a small little outcrop somewhere

and no one is kind of worrying too much, you're like, yeah, I'm fine, you can coast it. But the moment something happens where they're like, this is a, hang on a this is a glass shattering moment. The moment you meet a raider group that's been communicating with whistles. Yeah. And the moment Joe's like, what's he saying? And he's like, you're like, come here.

I know that whistle. And then you're killed. Yeah. Yeah. I think we both have the similar vibe of like either a week or 20 years. Yeah. It's real. And you're 20 years. I'm 20's real. It's a real 20 years.

I'm 20 years, but it's 20 years of not the best. Like you two living in luxury. Yeah. But I'm living longer. Yeah. We're all having what? We've got the situational man,

situational man, or the situation, man, the situation, man, man. I'm what? Mr.

Speaks. Mr. Speaks and the shaftless. Oh, the shaftless. Yeah. Yeah. Or soft hands. You, you,. Speaks and the Shaftless. The Shaftless, yeah. Or Soft Hands. Soft Hands, Knotless.

I don't like Soft Hands, the Shaftless. Soft Hands, the Shaftless feels like a, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that's good. Mythic. I think the Wasteland would be no worse for us than our current lives. Yeah. In the bottom 20% of respected members of society. To be honest, maybe, honestly, we'd probably be better off. It sounds like we're lives. Yeah. And the bottom 20% of respected members of society. To be honest, maybe, honestly,

we'd probably be better off. It sounds like we're thriving. Yeah. That was nice. I respect. I get a touch of Morton Joe. Oh! Yeah.

And at the end of all of it, Valhalla awaits, so that's fine. Yeah, exactly. Absolutely. We always know if we slip up, it doesn't light us.

We know the path to death. Yes. Just going to slowly walk towards that edge. Grab one of those whip up in the sliders. We know the path to death. Just gonna slowly walk towards that edge. Grab one of those exploding sticks and then just, well, see you later. So long, Amortis Joe. And on that note, I've been Joe.

I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joe. And that's how we just fucking clock the wasteland. Don't even stress. Yeah. Easy. See you in Valhalla. Yeah,eland. Don't even stress. Easy. See you in Valhalla. Yeah, dude. We are awaited or whatever. Seen? Witnessed?

Yeah, fuck. We're going to have to work on that.