Plumbing the Death Star - What Would Make Better Hands Than Scissor Hands for Edward Scissorhands?

Episode Date: July 1, 2018

In which our heroes ask the hard hitting question; What Would Make Better Hands Than Scissor Hands for Edward Scissorhands?Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/ Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Theme music by the wonderfully talented Benny Davis! You can find all his stuff at his website bennydavismusic.com or check out his YouTube youtube.com/bennythejukeboxWant to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter:  twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sans Pants Radio. Are we your fetish? Hey Zammett! What? I heard someone was saying that we're, we being me, you and Joel Disher, plumbing the death star, are gonna come to the UK this year. Who's been telling you these truths? I- Oh! Well, give me more details, you scoundrel. Well, we're heading to Edinburgh Fringe, and we're going to be performing four shows.

We're going to be at Just the Tonic on the 14th. We're going to be at Assembly on the 18th and the 25th and the Loft on the 26th. What month is this, you ask? I didn't, but go ahead. I'm assuming it's not September what's out before September August

that's the one yeah that's the one are we just doing Edinburgh I fell are we just doing Edinburgh fridge

or are we going up don't be a silly stupid piece of shit we're not just doing Edinburgh fridge no we're going other places

we're going to go to Glasgow we're going to go to Newcastle we're going other places we're gonna go to glasgow we're gonna go to newcastle we're going to leeds nottingham cambridge manchester these are so many damn places bristol london brighton cardiff wow i know it's crazy and did you know in london we're gonna be part of the part of the pod the podcast festival Are you fucking kidding me? No, Jackson, I'm not. It's crazy.

That's incredible. Where can people go to get the damn tickets? You can go to sensepantsradio.com slash live. Are they selling out quick? They are. Glasgow is already sold out, and a bunch of them are already more than 50% sold. Holy shit, the people better get on it quick.

Yeah. Fuck. and salt holy shit the people better get on it quick yeah fuck hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of plumbing the death star where we ask the important questions like what would make better hands than scissor hands for edward scissor hands Texters. Whoa, Arty. Actually, that's a good call straight off the bat. I thought you were going to say textiles. No, but texters. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Copic markers. All right, so look so Greg McArthur's listening Yes Should, before we dive Very, you've already Jumped in with texters Yes We'll get back to that

Because I think that is good The three of us are at the edge Of a pier in diving gear And you're like, right So, diving instructions And Zamit's in Cool Did he have all of his gear on?

I don't know Guys, I forgot my Blah, blah, blah Fuck, I'm going in It's almost like Jumping out of a plane Cool Did he have all of his gear on? I don't know Guys, I forgot my I'm going in It's almost like jumping out of a plane And we're like He jumped Did you see him put on a parachute?

I have it falling And the two of us just look at a parachute Hanging on the inside of the plane We just look down again Was that the spare? How many did we have? Was there four? There's three of us

Maybe we had four The pilot does a pilot one? Or is that. A pilot? Does a pilot have one? Or is that in the cockpit? Is there an emergency one? Is there always an extra one? And then we look down and Zamet is dead. He's bloodying up a cornfield. Oh, no, wait.

He pulled it. Nah, he did it too late. Too late. Too late. But that's not on us. What makes Edward Scissorhands important? And what makes good hands Or bad

Alright so In Edward Scissorhands His scissorhands are very good For making hedge art And doing haircuts Which is insane If someone had scissorhands And they were like

Can I cut your hair I'd be like Don't get it You know the whole town Becomes prejudice Against Edward Scissorhands I'm one of those people Keep your scissorhands

Away from me I mean look prejudice is bad however you can change your scissorhands yeah does the that's not a choice edward does you can chop those hands off yeah using the other hand yeah then he's got still one scissorhand that's all right someone gets a big pair of scissors exactly snip snip edward scissorhands are more like blades. They're not really scissors, are they? Are they scissors? Yeah, because there's two little like, what do you call them? Not handles.

Blades. Two blades. They connect. Just clap them up. You're meant to be a professional. Yes. So, yeah, basically we need to decide what makes good hands and why does Edward Scissorhands help him?

Like, as in, like, why does he enjoy his scissor hands? And I think the answer to that is just art. Haircuts and hedges. Art is great for scissoring. Yeah, absolutely. Art is great for scissoring. I like that, like, what makes good hands, but clearly we can't choose hands.

Oh, yeah, no. It's off the table. Yeah, there's no way we're allowed to choose. Look at our gross meat stumps. Speaking of things we can't pick, look, people are... I know what our fan base is like, and someone at some point is going to be like, oh, Edward Penis Hands, because that's a very famous and very bad pornography. Yeah.

A bad answer. Shut up. Stop yelling at your phone. Just a bad answer, because, like, look... Dicks make bad hands. Yeah. Dicks sometimes make bad hands yeah like sometimes imagine this five dicks on your on your hand but they're like rock hard and they're like very good because they're like you

can do stuff but imagine five soft limp flaccid dicks and as you jerked off one to get it erect so you had you're jerking off from the thumb to the pinky by the time you get to the pinky your thumb is becoming and also you're basically jerking off your flaccid dicks with more flaccid dicks. If you just start smacking your dick fingers together that's kind of like, what do they call that? Sword play? That's alright. It's a bit fun.

Yeah but also dicks are sensitive so even when you cum and you're like well that's fucking... I mean I guess that's art. Five cum. I guess that's No one refers to having a cum as art no one does however but like ten dicks all cumming at once

this is what I didn't want to happen you shouldn't have brought it up I tried to lampshade it and it's fucked me you just raised too many questions because I honestly wasn't even thinking of me but now all I can think of is dick hands. I was seeing tweets from the future,

and I was getting bothered by them. Getting a little bit psychic there. I think, yeah, we shouldn't see this as a... It's not a problem, it's an opportunity to do better than hands. Yes. So again, art. Art is what we need. And also...

Hands. Look, to be honest, what is hands good at? Picking things up. Picking stuff up. That's about it. Grab them. Grabbing? Giving the finger. it. Grab them. Grab them. Give them the finger.

Yeah. Hurt others without saying anything. Non-verbally hurting others. Beals. What else we got? High fives. High fives. That's pretty important.

So, I guessed showing appreciation. Yeah. In brackets, non-verbal. Non-verbal. Absolutely. And I think that, non-verbal. Non-verbal. Absolutely. And I think that's really it for hands. Non-verbal. What is it?

What's your list there? Hang on. Non-verbal. Yeah. All right. We've got art. It's an exclamation mark. We've got grabbing.

Yeah. We've got hurting others' feels. Yeah. In non-verbal. Then showing appreciation. Also non-verbal. Communicating. Hand, also non-verbal. Communicating. Hand signs. Yeah, yeah. Sign language, yeah, absolutely.

Comms, in bracket. Non-verbal. Oh, keeping up with a steady beat. Yeah, that's true. Rhythm. Rhythm. Gosh, hands are important for rhythm. Jerking it. Jerking it. Jerking it.

Jerking it, in bracket it. Jerking it. Jerking it. In bracket. Nonverbal. Or shine. Clay. Then square bracket. Nonverbal. That's it. Good. Close to bracket. Close circle bracket. Wait. Noose.

Noose? I'll just chuck noose in there. Noose is its own category. Because that involves wiping noose as well. So just noose. Handling noose. Noose, brackets, handling of. All right. Those are the things you need hands for. Yep.

Let's talk about scissors in those situations. I'm frightened. Just to get a baseline. Just to get a baseline. So we've got art. He's pretty good with art Fucking amazing at art Makes good hedges

Good haircuts Both artistic Can't paint Can't paint Can stab a canvas Could probably Oh hang on Wait

Alright How is this for art So you get a bunch of paint tins Stab them with your scissors Yeah yeah And like drizzle them over a canvas Absolutely That works

No that counts Everything is art If you like it's art This podcast Art Plumbing the That's the one Everybody in the world Is like a canvas. Absolutely. That works. No, that counts. Everything is art if you like. It's art. This podcast, art. Plumbing the dirt. That's the one everybody in the world is like, no, that one's not.

Anything's art, but not you guys. I've seen someone put paint in their bum and fart it out onto canvas and that's art. I've famously had my portrait painted by a man's penis. Picasso? What a genius. Art. It was something painted by a man's penis. Picasso? Picasso, yeah. What a genius. Art.

It was something. Watching a man colour in the border of a painting with his bum cheek was good. That is pretty amazing. But also, yeah, I mean, like, watching him paint my face. Do you still have that portrait? So it was me and a friend, and the friend has it, but I've got pictures of it.

Good, I want to see them. I'd like to imagine someone doing kind of the same thing, but with their tongue and slowly dying of paint've got pictures of it. Good, I want to see them. I'd like to imagine someone doing kind of the same thing but with their tongue and slowly dying of paint poisoning as they do it. Picasso made his own paint so that he wasn't getting dick poisoned. But also it means the first time he did that, he didn't... He just got dick poisoned.

That's a shame. Anyway, I'm sure people want to see it, so when this episode goes out, I'll tweet it. Alright, good. Alright, so art, very good. Now, grabbin', not good with scissor hands. He's good at cutting. Imagine trying to grab a carrot. Let's have that as our baseline. Edwin Scissorhands slices through, good for a salad, bad for moving a carrot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for having a sliced carrot where that carrot is. The tragedy is that he has made it bite-sized, yet he still cannot pick it up. Every time he tries to pick it up, it gets smaller and smaller and smaller. I guess, again, it's kind of like he's now using his scissor hands as tooth picks. Yeah, that's true. I guess he can do that. But then cut his mouth off.

Although they are quite big scissors, so he's going to have to kind of stretch out his hand a bit. He cannot eat a carrot unless it is fed to him. I like that the greatest tragedy of all is trying to move a carrot, but making it bite-sized yet being unable to bite it. Every time you try to pick up the carrot, it gets smaller and smaller. Until it turns into grated carrot. Yeah, exactly.

So if you want a grated carrot, be like, Edward's his hands, eat this. And he's like... And then you just swipe it into the salad. Slam his face into the counter like a chicken. Edward, no! This was just an easy way of chopping carrot. And causing pain in a fellow human being.

So, grabbing bad. Yeah, grabbing is bad. Alright. Hurting others' feels non-verbally. I think he could give the finger, potentially. Yeah, I think he'd be very good at giving the finger. Did he have five? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, if he had five scissor hands.

Provided he's got a middle finger, he can wave that around. Yeah, absolutely. Like, boom. Plus he can still talk so he can point at you and be like, you're a fuck or whatever. Non-verbal. Non-verbal, Jack. He can mouth, you're a fuck. It counts. It also hurts and feels like the shushing.

Yeah, that's true. He could do it as well. Might be like cutting himself. Split his lip in the middle. Cut his nose in half. The most powerful shush of all. That's a good power play. Imagine this, alright?

Someone, you're making a bit of a... You're in a library. You're making a bit of a ruckus noise. Someone comes up to you in full leathers, grabs their giant bladed hand finger, puts it to their lip, keeps going, and they've got a giant split between their nose, forehead and lips. Are you making a sound?

I have shat myself. Maybe you're screaming, but after that screaming subsides, you are quiet as a mouse. Imagine as they say shh, the size of their face vibrates. That was not pleasant. That's a nightmare. That's violent.

That's some gory shit. So, yeah, hurt and feels non-verbal good. Yeah, look, it's impressive. All he's got to do is slice his face and I'm being quiet and hurt. Now, show an appreciation. He can give a thumbs up. He could give a...

No, because it looks too spiky. Yeah, it doesn't... The trick about a good thumbs up is that the thumb is a bit rounded. Yeah. So it's a pleasing shape. Thumb is inoffensive. Thumb is like, well done. Finger, pointy.

Thumb, the everyman. The thumb, lovely round edges. Middle finger. Oh, bourgeois. Bourgeois. Bourgeois. You got a bourgeois middle finger and a proletariat thumb. Hope I haven't mixed them up. Yes. Yeah. So

he cannot, all of his fingers are fingers. Yeah. Except they're blades. Yeah. But he has no blade thumb. He doesn't have like a butter knife as well. No. Because if it was a bit like rounded I'd be like oh that's a nice thumb Like safety scissors or something He's given me a good appreciatively round

Curved thumb up He's given me a blade, is that a new curse? Is he cursing me with his weird What is that, is that a thumb? I disagree The middle finger for him Well that's the thing, we don't know Which also comes back to the being rude thing.

Until he cuts his own face off, we cannot be sure that he's given us the business. That's right. He gives us the finger and I'm like, maybe he's giving me a thumbs up. Maybe I should keep going mop, mop, mop in the library. It bothers me because it's not hard to imagine you doing that in a library.

In my mind, I'm just running around without a shirt on. See, in my mind, in my mind, you're sitting at a computer desk, but you're fl in a library. In my mind, I'm just running around without a shirt on. In my mind, you're sitting at a computer desk, but you're flailing your arms so you're actually taking up three computers and there's a line of elderly waiting to use their internet. You feel like the kind of person that would happily

watch pornography loudly in a library. I'm getting the old people in on it. Like, you can come in, but you gotta watch. www.zoidshentai.com Zoids. Don't ask me any questions about Zoids, old people.

Just look at these drawn ones. I will not field Zoids questions if you're gonna sit here. Yeah, but you can watch the Zoids pornography with me. Just enjoy. Who's that? What did I fucking say?

Don't worry. Jerk it or leave it. Just appreciate the art. So I guess showing appreciation, not great. I'm confused. I'm a confused boy. Yeah, I don't know what he's saying. Now, communication, nonverbal.

He's going to get all like, fuck this again. The size of those scissors on his scissor hands. They're very confused. They're too big. It's too big to make an appropriate sign. Like, sure, he might be able to tap something in Morse code. Yeah, that's true. Is Morse code nonverbal?

It's making a sound. It's audible. It's definitely nonverbal. Yeah. Unless you're doing the mum, mum, mum in Morse code. I'm saying help me. You're saying Zoid's pornography. Yeah, and also I imagine if he does sign language too fast,

he'll start a little fire from the sparks. Like surely as he slaps his blades together. I reckon not great. Low. Rhythm though. Pretty good. Not just like rhythm, how we can drum our fingers on a table. We can clap.

We can do clicks. He can do like scissor sounds. And he can also do like all five of them. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, look. Probably independently of each other. So I reckon rhythm high. Yeah, he's got pretty good.

It depends, though, because imagine the sound of two swords hitting each other and would you say that is a beat? It could be. It could be. And again, we're talking like industrial sounds. As someone who listens to fucked music, I know what that sounds like in a song, and it's hard to keep a beat to that. Like...

Late 90s? Industrial metal? I reckon he'd be good for it It would be like I just realised I'm not dying on this hill Are all the blades different sizes? I think maybe Maybe slight variations

So he potentially could have different sounds Evies That's just keys That's not scissors That's just keys. That's not scissors. Look. That's a beat enough. That's a beat enough. That was worth it.

Cinema of the mind, everyone. Cinema of the mind. Cinema of the mind. I meant theater of the mind. Cinema of the mind. Cinema of my mind. Yeah.

All right, whacking it. That's next. Jerk it. Yeah, no. In bracket, cock or chine. Slice it. Non-verbal. Close square bracket. It's verbal because you're screaming. Yeah, next. Yeah. No. In bracket. Cock or giant. Slicing your. Nonverbal.

Close square bracket. It's verbal because you're screaming. Yeah. Zero out of ten. Yeah. Zero out of ten. Literally worst case scenario. Worse for a cock. Even worse for a giant.

Yeah. Not great. It's harder to score lower than a zero. I thought about it more. Don't. Hi, I'm Joel Dusha. Don't think about this. I just got to assume that the crazy old scientist gave him no genitals.

That would have been clever. He doesn't need genitals. He doesn't. But doesn't he bang Winona Ryder in that film? Nah, he's got genitals. Genitals he can't touch. And a girlfriend he can't touch. That's tragic.

Okay. I guess that's why it's all pent up and he expresses that. He makes that art his expression. And he expresses that That's true Did they purposely make him look like Robert Smith from The Cure Or did that just happen with his scissor hands I don't know if the scissor hands Does Robert from The Smiths

Robert from The Cure From The Cure, I don't know Robert Smith from The Cure My brain like gave up on me halfway through that sentence. I was like, Jackson, Jackson, I'm letting you know I bought this now, but I didn't. Does he have scissor hands? No, but he's got hair like he had scissor hands and tried to do his hair. Okay.

Maybe. Maybe. Wiping. A zero out of ten again. Sliced nose. Wiping A zero out of ten again Sliced noose As a man who has in the past

Had an anal fissure Not happy with this Like cutting up a calamari With a knife and fork Well I knew when we got to this part It was going to be unpleasant And look Not wrong

Not wrong This is a bad place to be Sorry All up Pretty low Scissor hands Not great for hands They're fucked Don't have them Look as we've been keeping score Not wrong. This is a bad place to be. All up. Pretty low. Scissors and hands? Not great for hands. They're fucked.

Don't have them. Look, as we've been keeping score of all of these categories, the score's an average of a 2 out of 10. Yeah, there you go. If you rewind it, you'll hear us muttering under our breath the scores for each category. 2 out of 10. Yep.

So an average, 2 out of 10. 2 out of 10. Now, text us. Text us. Or go pick markers for all you graphic designers out there. The graphic designers are like, finally, 200 fucking episodes and I finally got a shout out. Been there since the start.

Fucking goddammit. Now I'll stop listening. Ten out of ten. Yeah, well, yes, for a specific kind of art. No sculpture. Wait, hang on. Explain it to me. Is it two big texters?

No, no, no. It's five texters. Texts per finger. Texts per finger. So he can draw, but would have to learn to draw. Yeah. Well, look, if Edward Scissorhands is cutting, making sculptures, and you give him that art, this guy is also good enough.

Yeah, that's true. Like, Edward Copic Markerhands, he's definitely getting a 10 out of 10. Yeah, look, fair. It's funny because, you know, like, Edward Scissorhands is covered in scars. Yeah. He's just covered in mark. Yeah, look, fair. It's funny because, you know, like, Edward Scissorhands is covered in scars. Yeah. He's just covered in mark. Wash your face. No.

Edward. How about we make it a little bit more difficult for him? Because, again, look, hardship. He's got, like, you know, scars on his face. Edward Permanent Markerhands. Ah, now we're talking. Oh. He's scarred by the permanent mark.

And also, he'd be like a tattooed man because you'd board it up in that weird loft. You'd just be drawing on yourself. But yeah, for art, look, he's done spectacularly. We'll do permanent markers and we'll do each one a different colour. Yeah, that's good. And I think you're right. He'd be superb at it.

Grab him, though. Not great. Because again... Better? Better. However, like... though. Not great. Because again, better. However, like Give me your pencils, Amit. Permanent markers. They're very much like rigid.

But you can pick it up. It's kind of like using chopsticks. Yeah, like using a chopstick on each finger or having really long nails. The benefit of, say, scissor hands, you can stab. Yeah, yeah, you don't have that. Eating a carrot was our baseline. Yeah, eating a you don't have that. Eating a carrot was our baseline. Yeah, eating a carrot. You can probably pick up a carrot with

chopsticks. It's going to be difficult. It's not going to be great. Yeah. I think, yeah, possible. Hard to eat. Chances of you dropping the carrot on the floor in a dog's bowl. A lot. Hi! But, like, fucking not impossible. Yeah. And you're not chopping the carrot up, so...

So after a while... You've got a better score than Edward. It's his hands. Yeah. All right, so I guess that's all right. But hurting other feels? Again, you've just kind of got rigid fingers. Plus, now that they're Texas, you can write,

fuck you on a wall. That's true. It's nonverbal. You can carry around, like, a little placard or whatever. Yeah, like a whiteboard on your chest. All those pieces of paper and be like, fuck you. You're a piece of shit. Nice hair, shit hair.

I'm like, oh, thank you. Oh, imagine that. You're a rude man. You're there. You're looking at him. He gives you a nod and a bit of a smile. Like, oh, hey, mate. And he writes, nice haircut.

And you're like, I just got my haircut. Shit haircut. You're like, oh, my God. I'm not a big fan of you. And then he just writes, ha ha ha, smiley face. That's rude. The smiley face really hurt my feelings. I did.

Hurting others' feels quite high. I want to try and pick something up with just five rigid sticks. No, okay, just keep your fingers stiff and try and pick it up. Like, no, look. Here, I picked my keys. Look, there, just keep your fingers stiff and try and pick it up. Like, no, look. Here, I picked- my keys- look, there's keys on this table. I picked it up without bending my fingers. I can pick up some playing cards. I can pick up my phone, but I cannot shuffle.

Oh, this is gonna be a repeat of the last episode where you dropped your phone and broke it if you keep trying that shit again. Also, sorry that I was a bit absent for a bit. I'm trying really hard to buy Kendrick Lamar tickets mid-episode. Me too. Oh, probably phone use as well with our hands. Oh, warmth.

You need warmth. Yeah, that's true. For a touchscreen. No warmth in a text. I think most of our thing's going to fail on a phone. Well, I'm excited to hear what it is. We'll see how it goes. Fire.

Tongues. No. Edward Leckie hands. Yeah, look. Text up. Fine for picking, grabbing shit. Fine for non-verbal rudeness. How about showing appreciation non-verbal?

I think also quite high. Yeah, absolutely. Imagine this. Nice haircut. Smiley face. That's it. Oh, what a lovely man. Yeah. I think on both of the non-verbal communes, he's good. He's it. Oh, what a lovely man. I think on both of the

non-verbal communes, he's good. He's great. And again, communication. Perfect again. It's the same thing. Perfect score. Harder to do sign language, but not impossible, I guess. But don't need to do sign language, you can just write. That's a good point. That's a good point. And you could make literal sign language. Yeah, you can make a

language of sign. Like, write a sign. Yeah. Hard to pick up the sign, but you could write it. Just hang it around make a language of a sign. Sky, like, ride a sign. Yeah. It's hard to pick up the sign, but you could ride it. Just hang it around your neck or get a friend to. Yeah, you're fine. Do you have that little, like, ridge thing all Texans have where you could, like, slide a piece of paper underneath it? What? You know, like, that thing.

Yeah, yeah, the clip. The clip. Oh, I always assumed that was to hook it on your belt like a cool guy. Your pocket, maybe. I'll give you a pocket. Belt. Whoa, that like a cool guy. Your belt pocket, maybe. I'll give you a pocket. Belt. Whoa, that's a thin belt. What a cool guy.

Yeah, no fair. Yeah, I mean, probably. Does that mean you could, you know, his things there? Because you don't get that without having a lid. Yeah. You cannot take the lid off if you have text to hand. Yes, you can. You just use your teeth. Use your mouth. Ah, that's true.

Thank you for miming that. And when you pull it out, right, so you get your middle texter, right? You pull it off, the lid off. Now it's a lovely aggressive point. Yeah, yeah. Give someone the finger. You know that's someone giving you the business. Can you then, you pull it off with your teeth?

Can you put it back on with your teeth? Yeah. Well, how can you do that for every texter? I mean, just like... Just for everyone listening at home, Joel Zammett nailed it. So, you have to use one... All I'm saying is that means you have to use one texter at a time. No, it doesn't.

No, it doesn't necessarily. So, you have a mouth full of lids. I'm going to do this, right? Yeah. Well, he's done it. Spit it out. Okay, now put it back on. All right, now I'm going to do this, right? He's done it. Spit it out. Okay, now put it back on. Now I'm going to grab it with my... Oh, with what?

With my swing. His ticsters. His ticster hands. I think you'd find that more difficult than we're assuming. Now, Hacker, hang on. Alright, he's picked... I just picked it up with my mouth. Yeah, it was on the table. Joel Zermatt put his head on the table, picked it up in his mouth. Alright, just wanted to check.

There's a lot happening in the studio. Because otherwise, you're just going to end up with dulled texters. And once one of your fingers is dulled, you can never use it again. Oh, actually, that's a good point. That is a good point. What if you drop your fucking lid?

Well, I imagine... In a drain. Ah, damn. Well, I can imagine... Oh, dry texters are not good. Oh, like showering very hard, the ink will run. I think.

There's got to be some kind of magic to it. I'm assuming it's like his blood. Yeah. Oh, my God. I hope not. Well, Edward Scissorhands. All the text is a red. Oh, they are too.

All the text is a red and I am very tired. Well, Edward Scissorhands, his blades never got dull. Yeah, but he can sharpen blades. Yeah, Edward Scissorhands, his blades never got dull. Yeah, but he can sharpen blades. You cannot get new ink for your text to hands, which means that by the time you're 20 or something, 20? Fuck! 20 years of a texter.

I reckon you could unscrew it and put the ink in. You might have to get someone else to do it for you. 100%. That's what old mate Mad Scientist or Winona Ryder was for. Put the ink in. You might have to get someone else to do it for you. Because that's an... Oh, 100%. That's what... Operation. Old mate... Mad scientist. Or Winona Ryder was for.

Yeah. Could you please re-ink me? Thank you. What an intimate experience to be re-inked. Fine, fine. That's just tip-tapping away. Yeah, absolutely. Not as good as, like, say, if you had, I don't know, drumsticks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, just as good as regular fingies. Yeah, absolutely. Jacking it, though. You still got your palm, I don't know, drumsticks for hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, just as good as regular fingies. Yeah, absolutely. Jacking it, though. You still got your palm, I guess. Nah. No. It doesn't care.

It's not great. It's not ideal. Better for a giant. And it's Edward Scissorhands, not Edward Scissorfingers. Oh, that's true. You have no palm. Look, it's not great. I can't imagine, like, I was thinking,

oh, maybe it's decent for a giant, but I don't think so because you want like some dexterity yeah you don't want like a hard non-real like a hard rigid thing that doesn't bend anyway plus you don't want the lid to come off and then you get fucking ink in your jine nobody needs ink in their jine no one wants it like so no one's like like the head of their dick just ink it out yeah no one like i feel like coloring in a clit is not gonna feel good yeah i just learned to suck myself off yeah just teach myself how to do it and then whoop teach myself it's just stretching there's no like there's no technique um but yeah because otherwise you're just not doing it that's a frightening conversation because you'd be like ah like at some point someone's gonna be like that

sucks you can't masturbate you're like no i can't That's a frightening conversation because you'd be like, ah, like at some point someone's going to be like, ah, it sucks you can't masturbate. You're like, no, I can. I figured it out. And they're like, how? I suck myself off. I cum in my own mouth. I'm regretting not choosing tongues right now because I think that would be a better answer for this. Hard to do art with tongues. That's true. Not impossible.

Can you taste? I would hope yes. I hope not. Because we've got one category left Noose, handling of You would suck at it You cannot wipe with texta fingers But I could colour my noose in red So it looks clean

Or bloody, not sure which But it wouldn't be clean It is not clean It is not clean No, It is not clean. It is not clean. No. No, it is not clean at all. You could take your nose to a doctor and be like, I don't know why it's so rad.

The doctor's like, it's not clean back here. And you're like, well, you're someone. Is it clean? No. I guess take care of it for me, doctor. Yeah, look, so zero there. But other than that, like- It's like with that score we've been keeping under our breath,

probably like a 4 to 5 Wait really I would have been like a 3 But I'll take a 4 You've got art, you've got rude gestures Oh that's right non-verbal rude gestures I feel like the things that Edward Scissorhands could already accomplish You're accomplishing better and the things that he failed at

You're failing just as bad That's true About a 5 out of 10 I was going to say big hammers But just two big hammers I doubt you're failing just as bad. Yeah. That's true. So yeah, about a 5 out of 10 average. Yeah. I was going to say big hammers. Big hammers? But just two big hammers, not hammer fingers.

Hammer hand. Just hammer hands. Okay, let's go through this. Edward, hammer hand. Art. Art. You break shit. You could smash some rock. Sometimes the only way to make something beautiful is to destroy it.

Yeah. If you had someone else hold a chisel, you could maybe do it. I guess you're definitely making a statement with your art. Can you hold a chisel in your mouth and hammer? No. A very good way to hammer your brain in. I mean, are you talking about hammering the back of your head? Yeah, good point.

Yeah, look. I was imagining holding it. Hang on. Holding it from the side. Oh, yeah. And then, like, chunking into your... You're going to miss and hit your cheek. I'm imagining holding it. Hang on. Holding it from the side. Oh, yeah. And then, like, chunking into your... You're going to miss and hit your cheek. I'm going to smash my teeth open is what I'm going to do there.

There's a song by Cannibal Corpse called Hammer Smashed Face that's about this exact thing. It's about me, yeah. Art, look, you're... I guess it could be a performance art. Yeah, that's true. And you could be breaking things. I'm imagining these hammers are about the size of sledgehammers,

just so we're all on the same page. Okay, yep, good. Maybe as long as sledgehammers. Dragging along the ground behind me, yeah. Yeah, look, not great. Grabbing, not great. Well, well. Look, if you had something, like, soft but still kind of, like, malleable,

I'm thinking like a panna cotta. Yeah. You could kind of, like, plunge your hammer fist in and try to, like malleable. I'm thinking like a panna cotta. Yeah. You can kind of like plunge your hammer fist in and try to like bring up. And maybe kind of suctions onto the hammer. What about if I hammered around like say your waist? Can I grab, is that grabbing? So you, no.

That's causing me a lot of harm. Because I just figured I could get my hammer handles and hook my hammer heads together, like lock them together around something. That's using me a lot of harm. Because I just figured I could get my hammer handles and hook my hammer heads together, like lock them together around something. That's using your arms. Hang on. Now the image in my head is all meddled up. Are you imagining hammers with the hammer

that you would use to hammer in a nail? Are you imagining with the claw? Or are you imagining a hammer like the Super Mario Bros. mallet hammer? Are you imagining a sledgehammer? all of these are wildly different hammers because i think he's imagining well that's just like boat propellers jackson yeah well i cannot draw hammers oh you're imagining like uh your legs are very long that uh-huh my knee is here okay so i think the best example is like a sledge at the shoulder i've put them at the best example is like... A sledge. At the shoulder. I've put them at the shoulder.

It's like an idiot. Hang on, I've got to redo this drawing. I mean, we got it, but that's fine. No, because you didn't, because it's longer than that. That's already very long, Jackson. Hammer. Hammer. So it's like the hammer that King Dedede uses in Smash Bros. Yeah, yeah.

Like a mallet. Like a mallet. Like the super mallet. Okay, the mallet. Okay, you've picked the least useful one. But coming out of the wrist. Yep. You've picked the least useful hammer.

Good for hopping. I could, like, push them down and, like, raise myself up. Let's just quickly go through this. Art. Hang on. Art. Zero. Now grabbing.

Now remember, grabbing carrot. Art. Zero. Grab on. Art. Zero. Now grabbing. Now remember, grabbing carrot. Art. Zero. Grabbing a carrot. Zero. I just smashed that into the food. Hurting others' feelings. Non-verbal. Violence. Yes. I mean, I. Can I do this? No. Because you smack them upside the head.

You could kill yourself. That's non-verbal, right? Violence is non-verbal. So I guess Edward Scissorhands' rude gesture could be slitting someone's throat. Yeah. Look, imagine, look, you, like, piss off or make a ruckus. Edward Scissorhands comes up to you. Your ham.

Scissorhands comes up to you, grabs you by, like, the hand, and just slits your own wrist. You're like, ah! Oh, my God! Rude. Wow! You're rude. Showing appreciation.

Zero. What's that one? It's hard to read. It's something non-verbal. Communication. Comms. Communication non-verbal. You can hit the ground.

Yeah, and I can drag words into the earth with my hammer hands. Not amazing. Rhythm though. High. High rhythm. Now this ishythm, though. High. High rhythm. Now, this is an industrial beat. Yeah. Yes.

Although, like, I'm trying to imagine, because my hands have basically doubled inside. My arms, sorry. To make a... I don't know if I could... I'd have to, like, swing my arm around back. You know what I mean? Yeah, it'd be a slow beat. You know, look, this is another kind of...

Romantic. Slow dance. Also, you can lift it up. You're not going to do a force. Can I lift up a sledgehammer with the power of my wrists? I mean, I reckon I could. Can I for a long time? I reckon Dusha could.

For the length of a song, can I keep that beat with just my wrists? Do this with your wrists for the length of a song can I keep that beat with just my wrists? Do this with your wrists for the length of a song. I have played drums before, so I know that I can do that. Moving my wrists like... With a sledgehammer at the end. Yeah, it would just be a slower beat. And also, your arms would be musclier

because you're carrying that weight anyway. Yeah, that's true. I have sledgehammers since birth. Yeah, so like I'd say... Yeah, look fair. I'll, high. Yeah, look fair. I'll take it. Jerking it though. Zero. Cock or jine. Smashed.

No. If you polish that wood, you can grind against it. C and B torture. Yeah, C and B torture, high. Yeah, drop that sledgehammer on your testicles. Hard to do. But you could do it to someone else. Like all good tricks, you can only do it once.

Absolutely. I can sort of cross over my sledgehammer arms and kind of fuck the cross. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but that's fucking your arms. I guess you're polishing that wood. Yeah, I've got to polish that wood. I reckon it's going to be impossible for a giant, though. Yeah.

Unless you really slam that clit. What if I just grind my... It's not pleasant, but... There's been a lot of just very unpleasant phrases. Yep. Color that clit. Smash that clit. I'm not happy.

I'm not happy about it. There's been a lot of clit talk. More clit talk than normal. I'm just imagining, because again, it's just like, you know, is there an equivalent of like cock and ball torture, but for ladies? Yeah, there is, but I forget what it's called. Genital mutilation, and it's not pleasant. Is it like clit and...

No. I don't think there's clit in anything. I don't think it's something and it's torture, but yeah, it's like vagina torture. People like it. Some people like it. It's possible. No, no, no. People don't like it. You said that like it's like vagina torture. People like it. Some people like it. It's possible. People don't like it. You said that like it's a

common thing. People do like it. People like cock and ball torture. It's a thing. It's not great. Exactly. Some people. I've seen it with pegs and pins and whatnot. Yeah, yeah. People getting off on shit. Let the world fuck. I'd like that

on my tombstone. Don't king shame, dude. I'm not king shaming. Jackson Bailey, colon, let the world fuck i'd like that on my tombstone i'm not king shaming jackson bailey colon let the world fuck um don't yuck someone else's yum exactly look yeah but no one's wanting that at all wiping yeah impossible no i mean i guess you're using the wood i just wipe on the wood. Yeah. Impossible in a toilet. That's just not the room. I guess what you're doing is arcing back to ancient times where we'd use sticks. It's gross now, though, because instead of... My hammers are just covered in feces.

Yeah. Yeah. Not only am I a terrible mutant, I'm one that smells like shit. Yeah. You gotta get, like, while you're doing some wiping, you've got to get someone to help wipe your pulp. I've got to get someone to wipe. Or maybe I just have a weird shower. A problem we didn't talk about is what if the thing breaks?

Then I just have sad stumps of wood instead of hands. Oh, that's true. That's, like, something I've got to deal with. Look, I feel this is worse than scissor hands. Yeah, I think it might be. So, as we were keeping score, maybe a zero or a one. No, for the rhythm. One.

One. I'll take one for the rhythm. One for the rhythm. Because, like, at maybe a zero or a one. No, for the rhythm, one. One. I'll take one for the rhythm. One for the rhythm, because at least you're keeping a beat. Yeah, exactly. Not a fast beat, but a decent beat. Yeah. J.D.? Well, my choice is a little bit more obscure than your choices,

because I am not a coward. Miniature versions of myself. Little douches. Little douches. Where? So same size as fingers, roughly. But... Oh.

Where, where, where... Do they have, like, what's on their hands? Little versions of them? Fingers. Does it kind of keep going, or is it fingers? Fingers. Ah. Is it like, hang on, let me just draw a bad hand.

Are they all independent? As in, like, are they actually, are they little yous, or do they just look like little yous? No, they are actually little me's, but we share the same consciousness. Okay. Does it look like little finger puppets? Like that? Like little finger puppets, yeah. But do they have a split in the legs?

No. Okay. Their arms are free-moving. So, from your torso up? No, from my... So from my knees up, but... As though they're fused together. No dicks.

No dicks? No, there is dicks, yes. Okay. Okay, just dicks off a bit of flesh. Where are your balls? Because your balls hang between your legs, so yours hang over your legs. I feel like I have to pay a little split in between.

You know what? No dick. I've come round to no dick. You don't need a dick in this. You don't want a dick in this situation. Yeah, I don't. Okay. Art. I mean, like, each little Kim can hold a pencil. A little pencil.

You can do, potentially, ten, no, twenty little drawings. At the same time. At the same time. Speed art. Also, intrinsic. Like, little. Yeah. That's true. Grabbing. I mean, it's going to feel weird because you're going to get like 20 little hands grabbing you. But you can all grab that carrot. Eat it. Yeah, I can. Here's the problem. A carrot by the time it gets to your mouth has been eaten by the tiny you. Little tiny little

teeth marks. Yeah. You cannot ever eat food because the little douches eat the food first. That's why you gotta eat big food. Ah, that's clever. Get two carrots. Yeah. They'll be too full of the first carrot by the time the second carrot reaches your mouth. Imagine a carrot, right? Yes.

They're all grabbing it and having little bites. Also, guys. Go, go, go. You're big. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. They eat the carrot. Hmm? They eat the carrot.

Where does the carrot go? Into me. That's true. Through your arms. Yeah, I mean. Do you have five esophagi? Esophagi that go up Into me. Through your arms? Yeah, I mean... Do you have five... Esophagi. Esophagi that go up your arm and into your stomach?

Yes. That's the worst thing I've ever heard. Imagine. Does it go into your lungs? Can you breathe through these guys? If you were underwater and you put your hand up... Yeah. Can I breathe?

Yes, but not very well. Like, I mean, like, I would probably... There's a tiny little... Yeah. It would be the similar thing of, like, I would probably still drown if I was only breathing through my fingers, but I do get a little bit of air.

Because all of the things that are in me are then elongated through my forearms into my body. So, like, how, Jack, you had snake pits, and if you had, like, one of your snakes under the water, it drowned. What if you had one of your hands too far in a bath?

What about even something more basic? You're patting a dog, the dog bites one of your fingers too far in a bath? What about even something more basic? You're patting a dog, the dog bites one of your fingers Do you just have a dead you? Absolutely, and I feel it What if you catch, say you catch a cricket ball And they're notoriously quite hard Do you just have a dead hand? Do you just have several dead douches on your hand?

Well, it depends I feel like, no, it's like them being hit by the cannonball Now that I think about it Yeah, probably I feel like... No, it's like them being hit by the cannonball, now that I think about it. Yeah, probably. I guess they would die. What if you accidentally catch your finger in a door jam? Oh, that's a dead douche. That's a dead face douche.

Why don't you just sleep on your hand? Do you sleep with a hand under a pillow? I don't sleep with a hand under a pillow, no. Do you? Yeah, like this. That seems like you just wake up with pins and needles Sometimes Alright

I've been waking up with a sore foot recently And I don't know why Poor blood flow Yeah, poor blood flow And I suspect diabetes Possibly Look, if anyone's getting type 2 diabetes on this show It's probably you

Your boy JB Absolutely Had to think about that. You did? All right. So, art, good. Grabbing, pretty good. Pretty good.

Hurting others' feels, non-verbally. Real good, because I can give you the finger, but then my finger is also giving you the finger. I didn't quite hear the little U's just have regular hands. Yeah, just regular hands. That's so sad, because if they had smaller U's, you could give fractal fingers. Yeah, no, but the thing is

I would be so hurt By the power of that Little finger That I'd die You would travel You'd be like Oh my god How many bad feels

Am I getting right now And that's a lot of bad vibes Travel from my eyes To my brain To my heart Which would stop That's what would happen there Yeah

But look Still Two is pretty bad Yeah And that's It's not two actually It's twenty Because you just hold up your hand pretty bad And it's not two actually It's twenty Because you just hold up your hand

Well actually no, it's not twenty Well it could be, but then it hurts less Someone's like, is he just doing jazz hands at me? You've got to squint What the hell That's a good one though Because someone's giving me a weird jazz hand You go in for an inspection

And realise he's giving you nothing but bad vibes But also, look at my look at the size of my fingers now. If my fingers had arms, you'd be able to tell if he was giving you the finger. Yeah, I know. It wouldn't be like, oh, not from a distance. Look, from a distance I'd be like, huh? And I'd peer in

and be like, oh. So it'd be like a puzzling and then it hurt feelings. Which is good. That's what you're looking for. Yeah. Yeah, what's next? Showing appreciation, non-verbal. Same thing. You give a thumb.

My fingers can shake hands. Yeah. Now, high-fiving, though. You have a lot of dead fingers. And you show what up. A lot of bruised. A lot of bruised douche faces. Imagine you shake douche's hand and the little douchers lick your paw

Gotcha It'd be like shaking hands with you normally A very wet hand Pull away and the little douchers give a little Did you little guys lick my hand? No I'm just spitting Like something tastes disgusting

For some reason. Why? Why does it taste like this, Jackson? What? Why does what taste like this? Nothing. It tastes like... It tastes like lime juice and shit.

And salmon oil. That's weird. Why does it not taste salty? It should taste salty. That's the one taste I was expecting. It tastes like bicarb. Why? No, I'm fine.

I'm good. I want appreciation non-verbally. I like that I'm getting real smart in this situation. Like, clearly I know what's happened, but I'm like, you just cop it. Communication? Non-verbal? Fine.

That's a lot of sign language. It's gonna be like getting yelled at every time, but that's fine. Rhythm? Very good. Like heaps of little clouds. Unless your little guys are out of time, which the more people you have, the higher chance of that you have. That's true, but you. Oh, yeah. He's like heaps of little clowns. Unless your little guys are out of time, which the more people you have, the higher chance of that you have. That's true.

But they're all controlled by me, so it'll be rhythm. It'll be harder to make them out of rhythm. Yeah, yeah. So it'd be hard for them to play a song. You could not turn your hands into a band, which is so sad. But I could turn them into like a terrifying marching band that's all drums. Oh, but imagine having jazz hands that will- Literally jazz hands.

I do like that they are independent of you, but I guess- Yeah. Look, look. What can we do? Oh, wait, no, they'd have to be. Why? Because otherwise it wouldn't be able to- Otherwise my fists would either be closed or open.

That's true. So yeah, they would be independent. They wouldn't have independent thought, though. I control them still. I like the idea of more like... Because I don't want a rebellion. How about this? It's kind of like an ant situation.

So you are the queen ant, but all your fingies are workers. They work independently, but you can be like, no, do this, and I'm like, all right. Okay, yeah, done. You send out fellow bones.

It's a bit more of a hive mind. Yeah, look, I'll take hive mind. I'll take actual hive mind. There are no rebellions. Yeah, no rebellion of a hive mind. Yeah, look, I'll take hive mind. I'll take actual hive mind. There are no rebellions. Yeah, no rebellions. They love you. Yeah. Which means you can have a little hand band.

A hand band. I do like a little hand jazz hand. The Joel Dusha Jazz Hands Jazz Band. Imagine. Jazz Dusha. That's what I'll call the band. Jazz Dusha. The old hand jazz hands jazz band.

The old Rosamund Hand Dazzle. Do you hear that old rosamal jazz handle buzzazzle is playing tonight what's that show how could you forget it's the one with the guy's hands on the band there's joel jazz douches joel sans juicer jazz my favorite part about it is the guy who owns the hands just smiles quite pleasantly at the crowd while the band's happening like yeah it's pretty cool huh i have a microphone, so I'm like, oh, hey guys, check this out. Oh, wow.

It's the notes they're not playing that makes this jazz extra good. So rhythm, high. Jerking it, though. Amazing. I have the same problem that Jackson had of, like, I get to taste my own dick. Problem?

You get the same privilege. That's a very, very, very weird way of looking at that. Being like, gosh, I'm lucky. Tasting my own dick. I'm so lucky. Well, you don't normally get to, you know.

That's true. So I guess it's kind of nice. No one has been like, I'm so glad I tasted that penis. No one. I think most people. A majority. A majority of people are like, that dick yummy. I'm glad. I'm glad I tasted that penis. Sweet.

I just said penis like you and I not happy about it. Penis. It's like going on our self suck and almost every single one is being like, less about like, hey, yeah, either like, I want to do this or like, so. It was less about a mouth on my dick and more about a dick in my mouth. But every single one was like, yum. It was great. Delish.

Plus, it's a million tongues. Well, 20. No, 10. Well, 20 if it's your feet as well, but it's a million tongues Well 20, no 10 Well 20 if it's your feet as well But it's not 10 tongues working like crazy all over your dick or jine That's alright And plus again

Because you could have say For your jine for example You could have one finger up You know him Touching the clit One just like Punching away. Punching away.

That's how it works, yeah? Just beat the shit out of the labia? Yeah. Stretching it a bit, pulling it, giving it a little massage. Kneading it like dough? Yeah. Yeah. Something in Majora, whatever it's called.

Just imagine it. They'd be like, kneading it like pizza dough. Yeah. Man, I know so much about vaginas. I'm so glad. Ladies. Man, I know so much about vaginas. I'm so glad. Ladies. Look, I suspect... Reminder, I am still single.

So tweet me at douche13. We'll knead your labia like a man kneads dough. Like a real New York pizza. Like a real New York pizza. Yeah, but look, I think it's a 10 out of 10. 100%. I'm going to give's a 10 out of 10. 100%. I'm going to give it a 9 for the taste. Last category is noose handling of.

Oh, no, actually. I was going to say, actually really good, because we've also got like 20 eyes on that noose, so it's going to be real clean. Clean, and also they've got hands, so I don't have to stick my own head up my arse. Yeah, that's true. Which is something I have been accused of before.

Do you, when you're about to wipe, have to get your guys in like hazmat gear? Guys, this is a biological hazard. I'd want to shave them all. As in like, I'd want to have them all bald. Yes! Because like, I don't want like to be like, oh, a little bit of poop article in my hair. Just imagine that giant noose like before you, like the obelisk in 2001. And you've got to get up there with a squeegee and clean it.

You'd have your own little tools, though. Yeah, that's true. On your tool belt. Pull it out. Fuck, you'd be clean. Oh, imagine this. So you wouldn't have, like, you know, because I'm a big supporter that we should have bidets in every single bathroom. Bidets rule.

Have, like, a little water bottle, like a pump water bottle. Yeah. This little tiny one. Like, a little squeeze and clean it good. And then you've got to give your guys a shower, I guess. But that's just like washing your hands. Yeah. In fact, giving them a shower is just washing your hands.

Yeah. Getting them all soaked up. All I just need to do is just make sure that I probably just have to change my tap so it was more like a... Chemical bath? No, change my sink, my tap on my sink, just so it's more like the hose, so rather than just like a steady stream of powerful water, it'd just be like a... Like a shower, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Which wouldn't be that hard to do, it would just be a different nozzle. You're lucky your views aren't rebelling, because that can't be fun for them. Just go into work. Yeah. Plumbers have to deal with shit. Not directly from the source. What if a man stuck mid-shit on a toilet? A plumber would have to come cut him out.

Mid-shit. He's like, it's halfway out, Mr. Plumber. But this couldn't wait. The plumber's like, get the fireman. The fireman's just like Fuck that You're a plumber Shit's your department

I hate you fireman I like the triple zero Emergency services number Police, fire, ambulance, plumber Absolutely Sometimes calling a plumber is an emergency What if your house is flooding Or you're stuck mid shit Your house flooding? Or you're stuck mid-shit.

Yeah, absolutely. Your house is flooding and you're stuck mid-shit and there's also a fire, but it's unrelated. Could you please pinch it off? No. Why not? I don't know. I refuse.

I'm a gentleman and I always finish what I start. I'm a gentleman and I always finish what I start. Did you call me and then come in here and take a shit? Yes. What do you have to say to that, Mr. Plumber Man? Do you hate me? Yes. My job is done.

You may go. Imagine getting back in your car and just being like, what? He called the plumber just to upset him again. He wanted to be hurt. And you drive off having a big think. Take a day off work that day. Would that be a non-verbal hurt? It's hard to say.

So look, Joel Dusha with his Joel Dusha fingers. Edward Joel Dusha With his Joel Dusha fingers Edward Joel Dusha hands That's pretty good honestly That's pretty high up I mean in every like In anything that could be negative Actually So you could positive The only thing

That I have to deal with That Edward Scissorhands Didn't have to deal with directly Is that my fingers can die Yeah But Edward Scissorhands Can kill himself With his fingers

Absolutely So I feel it's Yeah The risk is basically the same I feel like they'd grow back fingers can die. Yeah. Yeah. But Edward Scissorhands can kill himself with his fingers. Absolutely. So I feel it's. Yeah. The risk is basically the same. I feel like they'd grow back like a lizard.

Yeah. Back to life. Hideous babies with your fingers for a while. Which I'm happy with. I'm not.

Another episode where I win and on that note I've been Joel Dusha. I've been Jackson Bailey. And I've been Joel Zammett.

And this is not how we end the show usually. And on that note I've been Joel Dusha I've been Jackson Bailey and I've been Joel Zammett and this is not how we end the show usually so and on that note I've been Joel I've been Jackson and I've also been Joel oh that's so much more correct keep both endings in editor that's you Zammett it sure is perfect goodbye now to say slurs

penis oh that's not one that's just the word for wangus. Hey, it's Carney. And Dusha. From How Good's Footy, a podcast that asks the most important question of all. How Good's Footy? Are you yet to experience the agony and euphoria of the AFL? Do you have a passing interest in the greatest game in Australia that extends mostly to which player has the worst hair and tattoo combo.

Join us each week as we cheer, cry, barrack, and make profit calls about a sport none of us can play, but all of us can love. Listen to the only podcast where losers eat toast, winners eat roast, and the hosts have undeniable bias towards their own team. Search for Hargud's Footy on iTunes or head to our website, sandspantsradio.com.