Plumbing the Death Star - What Would We Do if We Had the Powers of Madame Web?

Episode Date: March 31, 2024

Oh me oh my, we can't wait for the upcoming and soon to be mega hit Madame Web in theatres the week we 100% recorded this episode! You can just imagine the reviews "Sony, you've done it again!" - the New York Times probably. "I can't believe this bed you made is so fresh, clean and not shat in!" - Film Fancier Weekly we presume. "The way they used the natural and inate precog abilites of a spider was both inspired and creative" - The Age we guess. "10 thumbs. This is our film of the year" - IGN. To celebrate such a landmark occasion of film hitting new heights, the boys have decided to have one of their famous thinks and try to imagine a wolrd where they too had the awesome powers of Madame Web. From catching spaghetti to helping out with lunch based choice paralysis to impressing our fellow party goers with our sweet number guessing trick, we use these powers to the max for the sweet reward of "oh yeah," and "yeah, that was pretty cool I guess? I'm gonna go chat to my friend Steve now. Steve!". No stone is left unturned when discussing emotional time travel, splitting yourself into four lads and then sending those lads off into the time! JD becomes confusingly immortal, Jackson pitches the world's first 80-tuplet show and Zammit makes himself a little statue for destroying everyone's little machine. Stay to the end for a wild take from Jackson, remember our YouTube channel has comments turned ON!Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the important questions. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. It asks important questions like this one, and we should have all seen it coming,

because what would we do if we had the powers of Madam Web? Obviously, greatest superhero movie of all time. Oh, yeah. Madam Web. We're recording this a couple of days before the movie comes out. Yeah. But we're expecting pretty big things. Yeah, we're sort of banking on Madam Web and I think, you know,

early trailers have shown this being the next hot ticket. The greatest superhero movie of our generation. We're going to reinvigorate that superhero fatigue. Yeah, exactly. It's going to wipe it clean. Wipe it away. Yeah, I'm a little worried Because in the last couple of days Dakota Johnson's been saying

A couple of mean things But it's not like Sidney Sweeney's gonna go on SNL And make fun of it So it should be fine No I think we'll be okay As long as Sidney Sweeney Doesn't go on SNL

And make fun of Madam Web We'll be okay It should be fine Because that would hurt ticket sales Yeah yeah yeah As long as Dakota Johnson Doesn't go like I say for the very

Very small chance Like very impossible chance Yeah That the movie is bad and sucks there's no way she'd just go on

and like you know no filters and just I don't think so she wouldn't like completely cut her ties with her no

sort of team I don't think so the powers of Madame Web in Madame Web are as follows can see the future sometimes but doesn't know

that she's seeing the future. Yes. Well, she does, well, she should. At first she doesn't.

So, deja vu, intense deja vu. No, but it's not intense deja vu because you gotta remember, well, yes it is,

but when she's seeing the future at first, she usually dies or someone gets killed at the end of it. Oh, that's true. Because it's not like

it's the other way around. Final destination, pal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get final destination, and once you figure it out, that's what's happening. You can sort of do something about it. And you can split yourself into four. You can also maybe travel back in time and hug your mom.

Yes, okay. Theoretically, time travel of a sort. I guess time travel to hug your mum Okay, emotional time travel Emotional time travel You can see your own death Or the death of others You can also sometimes

Just relive very inane moments So that would be good at parties Why? Well, because it's like a bit of a party trick I know what you're going to say. Oh, I see what you mean. Like, for example, they're like, hey, guess,

you know, if she was like, you know, guess the baby's name. Yeah. And she was like, I don't know, Clarence. And I'm like, uh, idiot, it's Peter. And then the deja vu comes back and she's like,

hey, okay, we're playing a game. Guess the baby's name. She's like, Peter. Peter. How did you know that name? How did you know that name? Why did you say that name? I don't know that name? Why did you say that name? I don't know.

It was just a guess. I'll kill you. That's true. You could say, how would you? Okay, pitch the party trick to me. Imagine we're at a party and you want to pull off this trick. We're just having a conversation. Oh, did you see the game last night?

Oh, I know. Well, okay, for example. Yeah. You are like walking. Are you holding like a tray of, why does my brain go in spaghetti? Why does my brain default always? Spaghetti's not a- It's not a part of it.

I would lose my fucking mind if I went to a party, everyone's standing around drinking, then a tray comes out, they just hand out little balls of spaghetti. That would be the best. That is so good anyway. Oh, a little ball of spaghetti. Little ball of spaghetti would hit the spot. Little ball of spaghetti, but be the best that is so good oh little ball of spaghetti little ball of spaghetti would hit the spot little ball of spaghetti

but twist chopsticks oh that's smart we had a friend because for a little I guess a tradition we do on Christmas Eve

is that we make lasagna oh nice we have different kinds of lasagna whatever different kinds of lasagna like mushroom lasagna

vegetarian lasagna chicken lasagna chicken lasagna chicken depending how many people are around depending on everyone's diet requirements and one friend

she's like hey can I do I don't want to do lasagna but can I do something else and I'm like yes you can and she's like cool

we were so intrigued little lasagna I guess lasagna flavour but like in spaghetti flavoured spring rolls woah

I want to tell you they fucking rule that's awesome they were so good but like in spaghetti-flavored spring rolls. Whoa! I want to tell you, they fucking rule. That's awesome. They were so good. I've had cheeseburger spring rolls at a couple of pubs recently. The best. Dude. They usually come with Big Mac, in air quotes, dipping sauce. Dipping sauce.

Dude, you could do so much with spring rolls. Yeah, you can put shit in them. You take shit out of them. Eat them. So much. Put them in a hole. I don't know, pass us by. Bury them.

Say you are a tray of... I brought out a tray of little spaghettis. Little spaghettis or maybe spring rolls. Spaghettis ready, I say, from the kitchen. Now you trip over. Oh, fuck! And you fall and everything goes everywhere, right? The tray was hot.

I just taken it out of the oven and it took me until I was stepping into the lounge room to realize. Oh, wait! Ah! I've dropped all of my spaghetti! Oh, I'm so embarrassed! So then it goes back in time, so before you're about to...

Spaghetti's ready! Before you get the tray, I'd be like... Oh, fuck! I'd be like, hey, before you grab the spaghetti, grab, you know, some towels. That's your party trick? Or are you just helping me? But that'd be the helping.

I was thinking if more of like, if you were to drop something, kind of like in Spider-Man, the first one, where he catches the whole tray of whatever. That. So if something falls, and then you quickly grab it.

That's funny because the tray is hot for me. Don't worry, I got you. Oh! You changed the rules. You broke the spaghetti. The party's ruined. Everybody go home. I'm so sorry. I know you came here for the spaghetti. The party's ruined. Everybody go home. I'm so sorry.

I know you came here for the spaghetti. It's not just my fault. It's Joel Zabit's fault, dude. He tried to catch the spaghetti, but he dropped the spaghetti a second time. You should actually be angrier at Joel Zabit, I think. He wrecked the party. I'm sorry Zabit wrecked the party, everybody. If you were eating one dropped spaghetti, you'd be like, this is fine. I haven't wrecked the party, everybody. You dropped a spaghetti in my hand.

If you were eating one dropped spaghetti, you'd be like, this is fine. But twice dropped? So obviously you hate salmon. Well, if you're dropping the spaghetti, what I would then do, and then it cuts back to spaghetti's here, so I have almost no time to react. Maybe, hopefully, I will then see if there's another tray or maybe things that were an empty bowl or maybe it had some chips in there.

Oh, okay. I would then quickly grab that. And as you... Oh, fuck! And then I quickly grab that bowl and then all just slops into that one bowl. I'm like, I know your spaghetti right here, buddy. Zalman upstaged me, everybody.

Go. Zalman upstaged me. Buddy's ruined. I can't run. He's ruined.. Go home. Zabit upstaged me. Party's ruined. I can't run. He's ruined. Everybody go home. He fucked it up. Did you see it?

He said spaghetti save. He wigged at me. Fuck that guy. He made me look like a fucking idiot. I hate this guy so much. In my own home. He tripped me. He tripped me.

And he burnt my fingers. You all saw it. Everybody go home. Zabit wrecked the party. I'm calling the police. You have five minutes he burnt my fingers. You all saw it. Everybody go home. Zabit wrecked the party. I'm calling the police. You have five minutes to leave my house. Or you're all under arrest. I hate my friend.

Well, it's better than the party trick I was thinking because I was going to be like, think of a number between one and ten and then I would guess. And then if that was wrong, it would go back and I would get a second guess. Hey! Is it six?

No. Is it seven? No. Well. Fuck. Never mind, then. Would have been cool if I got it, though, hey? Yeah, it would have, actually.

Also, one in ten's not impressive, so it would have been hard for me to guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But to do it to an impressive amount, you'd have to get, like, one in a hundred at least. And then your odds are so guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But to do it to an impressive amount, you'd have to get like one in 100 at least. And then your odds are so off. Two in 50. Okay.

Could you do it to the six? No, fuck. Is it six? Can I say that again? Fuck. Could you do a thing where... No, that's not how it works. I was going to be like, the first time you'd be like, just tell me.

When they're like, I think you've numbered between one and a hundred. I know, was it four? We've got to wait, right? Yeah. Was it four? Then no. What was it? What was it?

They say, oh, it was 75. 75. Whoa, good guess. That's what you're. Anyway, I'm going to go talk to my friend Steve. Hey, Steve. That's your sweet reward is a, oh, good guess. Nice, man. Can you do it again? Maybe. Hey, Steve! That's your sweet reward. Oh, good guess. Nice, man.

Can you do it again? Maybe. Oh, yeah? 14. No. What was it? Well, you're really good at this game. Anyway. Anyway, I'm bored of this conversation. You're just saying numbers at me. Oh, please. This is all I have.

What about, okay, in the spaghetti situation, say it's not my party. Zavid comes out with the spaghetti. No, please. This is all I have. What about, okay, in the spaghetti situation, say it's not my party. Yeah. Zammett comes out with the spaghetti. He drops it. Yeah.

Then Zammett comes out with the spaghetti. I know you. I'm like, he's going to drop the spaghetti. I look over and he drops the spaghetti.

And then we go, I go, that's pretty good. Yeah. A little, huh? I'll take it. Yeah. You know, it's something.

And then I go, oh, now I'm hungry. Now we don't get any spaghetti. Yeah. Jerky made backup. Hey, Sam, did you make backup spaghetti? Oh, my goodness.

No. Fuck, you didn't make backup spaghetti. I'm going to go home. Sorry, guys. Party's ruined. Spaghetti's on the floor. I didn't make a backup spaghetti. Like an idiot.

Yeah, you got to make a backup spaghetti. Then could you travel back in time? I'd be like, make backup spaghetti. You're gonna drop this spaghetti. Well, now I just will be more careful. That's what I thought. Make backup spaghetti. Make backup spaghetti.

Okay. Alright. Well, then you'd make backup spaghetti, and because you change it so slightly, maybe you don't drop the first, and you got a lot of spaghetti. Yeah. Honestly, I only see you all positive in this.

If I was making spaghetti for a party and one of you was like, make back up spaghetti, I would be like, they're gonna do something fucked to the first lot of spaghetti. I'm gonna fuck your spaghetti. Make a spaghetti for me to fuck and a regular spaghetti. Make it for me to eat. You want me to make you a little bowl and heat it up

and not too hot so you can fuck? Is this the relationship we have now? I make you spaghetti, you fuck the spaghetti? Thank you for inviting me to your party. Because I'm going to put effort into making spaghetti, Jack, and I don't want you to fuck the spaghetti. So I'll make you like a shitty regular spaghetti. No. Wrong.

Wrong. If you do that, I'll fuck the main spaghetti. I'll be able to tell the difference. If you do that, I'll fuck both spaghettis. Goddamn it! That's crazy you be able to tell the difference. If you do that, I'll fuck both spaghettis. Goddamn it! That's crazy you still invited me to the party. It's crazy, but I appreciate it. Thanks, man.

Hey, great party, man. Where's that spaghetti? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm getting horny. Yeah, here's your little backup spaghetti. Thanks, man. Yeah, you go enjoy that. This is the spaghetti Zabit made me to fuck.

I'll be back in five minutes, guys. We have a strange relationship. We're going to fuck the shit out of this spaghetti. This is a relationship we have, yeah. I will loudly come and you will hear me, and I want you to know that I'll be back in five minutes, guys. We have a strange relationship. We're going to fuck the shit out of this spaghetti. This is a relationship we have. And I will loudly come and you will hear me and I want you to know that I have ejaculated into that spaghetti. Okay.

See you in a bit, guys. Why does it still feel like I'm the villain? Everybody tells you, what the fuck, Sam? You rocked this party. He said to make up back house spaghetti. I made back house spaghetti. And he was like, are you going to fuck the spaghetti? He still invited him.

Well, he's a good friend of mine. I don't know why. He knew about this. I can't unin fuck the spaghetti? He still invited him. Well, he's a good friend of mine. I don't know why. He knew about the spaghetti. I can't invite him. You were inviting him. It's really awkward. It's awkward. I can't do that.

If someone came to my party and they said, I'm going to fuck the spaghetti, I'd say, get out of my house. You're a braver man than I am. Well, look, you're a braver man than I am. Wowee. I hope he just puts it in a bin and doesn't flush it. Is he crying? I've wasted my life.

You see, he's going there for something. He needs some friends. I think he's having a really weird breakdown, if I'm honest. Why can't you provide him with a single spaghetti that he can make up to? Give him a tiny window a ray of joy in this miserable life

you need to take it away it's up to your enabling him that prevented him from well yeah at least he's doing this he's not smoking crack at least I hate

my friend Simon he made terrible spaghetti thank god I've got this crack oh he's smoking crack he's smoking crack also the spaghetti was good, right? Yeah, it was nice spaghetti.

Yeah, what the fuck? What the fuck? Well, he doesn't know. He smoked too much crack. What do you mean he's fucking the spaghetti? Because it's not good to fuck. Yeah, that's true. I can't imagine.

Unless he ate it after he fucked it. He surely wouldn't eat it. I'm a bad friend. Or a complicated friend. You're definitely complicated. A complicated man. I'm a bad friend. Or a complicated friend. You're definitely complicated. A complicated man. An enigma. Yeah.

It's also funny because in that scenario I think we began with the hypothetical with the riff where Dusha was fucking the spaghetti and then at some point

it became me. I don't know what that was about. Nature took its course. What about me? Is there't know what that was about. Nature took its course. What about me? Is there any other way you could use that flashing into the future to benefit your life? Well, it would help in situations like you probably wouldn't crash a car again. It does seem to activate for Madam Web when she's in a moment of crisis.

Yeah, so there are some moments where she does end up changing the thing, but there are moments when it just never happens. Well, that's true. But I think, so there's Madam Web when she's figuring out her powers, and then there's Madam Web when she's kind of got a lock on it. So when she's got a lock on it, I think she can just do whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That seems to be like, well, it wasn't shown to us.

It was a little. But it was definitely implied. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. But she didn't see the big P from the Pepsi sign coming into the water and breaking her spine and blinding her. She didn't see how ridiculous her new drip was. Yeah, those glasses were crazy. I guess the problem is that your visions are vague.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like you might be driving and then you see a flash of light and a stop sign. Maybe, but we don't know. Because some of her visions are crystal clear. Yeah, that's true. Some of her visions are just the thing that happens and she lives that moment and then it just happens again.

Yeah. So I think the deja vu one, where it's just helping in your day-to-day life, i.e. in a party situation, you can either guess a number, stop the spaghetti falling, or even just kind of like well

if I know if I engage with that like level of conversation I'm gonna have for the next two minutes the most boring time of my life I'm gonna not engage true smart

that's pretty useful I wonder if and so those moments you can kind of train your powers to work so like Madame Webb Cassie

Cassandra, like, oh, like the prophets of, oh. Whoa. Damn. Madam Web's a really intelligent movie. Yeah. Go on. Cassie only ever sees things that she sees as threats that she kind of gets as like a flash.

Yeah. Yeah, those weird like doesn't really help. No. That's what we're showing those. Because she gets her blood pressure taken twice. Yes. She gets the guest Peter's name twice. Twice, yeah. All high-stress situations?

She sees the bird running through the window, yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, those are all, like, high-stress. I guess it's a bit of high-stress anxiety for her, so social anxiety. Yeah, yeah. No, because, like, you've got to remember that, like, at that point With the guest Peter's name Yeah she's stressed

About being there She's stressed as that Because she I don't know how to act Like a human And she's like I This makes me miserable

Because my mum hates me And killed herself Yeah Through spider Yeah yeah Via spider Yeah She

The bird flying into the window Gives her a fright Yeah That's fair Or the balloon pops Yeah In the Peter scene So maybe this is a a fright yeah fair there's a balloon or the balloon pops yeah yeah yeah so maybe there's just a moment of okay just boot yourself like a horse yeah yeah okay um and that's what causes but then if you have control over it could you just do a thing where you just live like five minutes in the future yeah yeah you just live live and then

when something happens you don't want that but Oh, okay. Now I can fix it. How often do you reckon in a 24-hour period is there something you would like to change? I don't think... I mean, it's hard to think of life like that, but what are you going back and fixing? Okay, one example. If I'm at a restaurant or a cafe

and I can't choose between the two foods. Five minutes might be long enough. I know. You might just see the first dish come out to you and then it flashes back. So what would you like

to order? Fuck! Can you give me the, oh, take the, I don't know, the cheese sandwich again but quick. Can you bring it out to me

so really fast within five minutes? If it's a five minute thing or like a very short amount of time. Hopefully, if I'm ordering something and God chose me one of two things, and maybe the person next to me or the table next to me has also magically just happened to have ordered one of the things I want, I go over there, start eating there.

Oh, smart. Taste it and then flash back. Okay, that's actually something I would enjoy. Thank you. They're like, oh, my Lord. How dare you, sir. They're like, oh my lord. Oh, dear, sir. We'll never eat my own spaghetti. Oh, it's spaghetti.

It really is my good food. They're going to want spaghetti for dinner. Me too. I am having spaghetti for dinner. Oh, dude. That's awesome. Some people got it good in this live, hey. Some people got it good.

Yeah, we do. So, yeah, so it would be, and then just flashback, like, okay, that was pretty good. Yeah, true, true, true, true, true. How many times? But all that's doing really is give me one option to be like, that is good,

I will order that, but I don't know the other one. Because the way it works is you see what is going to happen. Yeah. Then you can change it. Yeah. You can't, because I was like,

well, you kind of experience it, and then... Yeah. Then you go back and you can try a different sort of tract. You can't go, oh like, well, you kind of experience it and then. Yeah. Yeah. Then you go back and you can try a different sort of tract. You can't go, oh, I'll try the spaghetti. Oh, I'll try the pesto. Oh, I'll try the this.

You get the one choice. Well, then is it about, okay, cool. So we have the option of the cheese sandwich or spaghetti, right? And I'm like, okay, cool. All right. I go, I live the future. I try the cheese sandwich. I'm like, go back All right. I live the future. I try the cheese sandwich. I'm like, go back in time.

Yeah. I'm like, maybe I'll try the spaghetti. Try the spaghetti. Yeah. You know what? The cheese sandwich is actually better. We'll go back in time. But it's actually more complicated that because,

so what you live is what you were always going to pick. Well, look, you can change it, right? Yeah, but she first lives the true reality. Yeah. So whatever you were always going to pick, that's what you try first. Then you can go back and change it and try something different. I don't know how this is even answered all in this particular film.

Or maybe it might explain why she doesn't drink the Pepsi. Okay, that did infuriate me. So, for example, I live the true life where I order, say, spaghetti. Yes. And I go back in time. Am I hungry? Because I have eaten it in my head. I have kind of experienced it.

My tum-tum, not so much. But the experience of eating it, I've lived that. So I'm probably hungry, but like... Over spaghetti. But like psychologically am I hungry? Yeah. You know what I mean? You're probably not craving food, but you'd still be hungry.

Like I'm hungry, but I'm not that hungry now. And maybe that's why, maybe why we see... Madame Webb. Madame Webb not drink that cocaine, just kind of finger it for a bit. Because she keeps in the future drinking that Pepsi. She's like, I already had that I need some Pepsi I'm good

I drank so much Pepsi today it's weird to have the feeling of having eaten spaghetti but not eating but not the weight or energy yeah yeah yeah

that's very strange so I don't know because I'm like oh yeah I want to see if I want to try maybe a different lunch go back in time I don't want anything

I'm not hungry and then you starve to death I'm not hungry. And then you starve to death. I'm not hungry. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. I guess I'll have some Soylent. You could use it to get rich at the casino.

Yeah. I put all my money on the number 15. Yeah. 26. Fuck. I put all my number. Fuck. I got to say this sentence perfect

I put all my money on the number forgot what it was 26 yes and then you get you get rich at blackjack yeah

you know you could use it there or with the races you bet on the one horse yeah yeah we'll play blackjack blackjack I'm putting all my money

on the number 26 a classic movie blackjack 31'm putting all my money on the number 26 a classic movie blackjack anyone yeah keep going 26 bust wait fuck alright go back

what was the answer we were playing roulette yeah so you could definitely do it with roulette and you should all your life savings on like the one thing

yeah then do it once and you're done yeah absolutely you can get rich madam where and then

hey cause there's four of you. You go to multiple casinos. Is it... The power of being four people is that one person is stationary. One of you is stationary and the three

other tendrils go off and they're you. Yes. But is it close by? I don't know. I don't know how far you can make that thread go. And everyone can see that thread. Who knows? Initially it close by? I don't know. I don't know how far you can make that thread go. And everyone can see that thread? Who knows? Initially it sounded like you could be anywhere at any time. But not really. It just seemed to be like you could be in the vicinity

of maybe like a, what? A 10 meter radius? Yeah. Well, maybe that's before she's fully embraced her powers. That's like a lesser version. Okay. So could you within a 10 meter radius, use having three other yous? I do the dishes quicker.

Yeah, I know. I was thinking chores. I have two toilets in my house and I could clean both at the same time or shit twice. Yeah. Or one log in each toilet.

Then that's double the wiping, which is, as we all know, the worst part of taking a shit. Yeah, absolutely. You could bathe yourself. Yeah, that's true. You could have a bath. Just we all know the worst part of taking a shit yeah absolutely you can bathe yourself yeah that's true you can have a bath

just clarifying on the worst part of taking a shit comment listeners still wipe your ass properly yeah yeah come on guys it's not

buck up yeah so there's too much like stuff online where people are like what do you mean once it's good enough no

it's not good enough you fucking wipe that asshole until you look at the paper and there's nothing on it. You want that paper you could eat off. Yeah. And then when you're in the shower,

you should still wash your asshole. Get a bidet. That's my recommendation. The bidet at the studio is fabulous. I love it. Whenever I come home and I don't have a bidet,

you're angry. Yeah, I get really pissed. The way I take the toilet and I want so it works is that we can't have a bidet you're angry yeah I get really pissed way out like the toilet I want so it works and that is that we can't have a bidet it's that massive

renovation that I've never wanted to like crawl in bed and cry more than I did surely you just walk out here

take a shit I do that's what I do fair enough I do not shit in my own house anymore that's beautiful

that's good do you reckon you could use the Madam Web power to put yourself in life threateningthreatening situations to see what it would be like? Yeah. So, like, get shot with a gun? Yes. Go back? Yeah. Because I think it would be kind of...

Then that is, like, almost innate, because she does it to save herself. She literally does do that. Jump off of a building? Yeah. Go back? Oh, I shouldn't do that, because I'd just die. Why just make, like, the thrill of jumping off a building or let's say

getting kicked by a horse. Yes. Something I think would be really wonderful. Yes. You get kicked in the head by a horse. You would make

such a good hoof sound. What I always think is that you would be like wiped numb for a brief beautiful moment. You're a big

you're a big a big proponent of the the wiped clean pain threshold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where if you get hit hard enough, it's a full reset of your body. You'll get a full reset.

Somebody's done a factory reset of your mind. For one moment, there's just nothing. Yeah, there's nothing. You exist connected to all reality. When the hoof hits your head, it's like a scene from, well, from Madam Web. Or from Ducky Strange where yeah my soul gets

kicked out of me in touch and he's like a horse hoof into your brain into your head everything all of my

you know fucking bad shit goes out I'm in that the fucking white room from the Matrix oh yeah

you know you're talking to the architect the architect's like this was always your path Jackson you were gonna go back you going to go back in time. I know this.

You're going to go back in time to stop yourself and prevent yourself from getting kicked in the head by a horse. And may I tell you, all you're doing is delaying the inevitable. I will see you again. What? That dog's had a horse kick. There were two horses. One on the other side you didn't see. You were kicked in the back of the head by a horse kick. There were two horses. One on the other side you didn't see.

You were kicked in the back of the head. It's like the architect. See? It's inevitable. This is in every Jackson's journey. It's like talking about the time machine with Guy Pearce. Your wife has to die because that's the impetus. You have to be kicked in the head by a horse, Jackson. You have to be kicked in the head by a horse, Jackson.

You have to get kicked in the head by a horse. Why? It just always happens. I really don't. It's good for a bit, but then. He reveals all the TV screens, all the different universes, Jackson. How are we all behind the horse so often? Like different ages.

He was like a 10-year-old, a baby, 46. Medieval reality. Cowboy Jackson. A nine-year-old man. This one getting kicked in the nuts. Oh! There's like a horse Jackson getting hit by a Jackson horse.

Just horse Jackson and a guy roundhouse kicking him in the head. Well, that doesn't seem as bad. It's not as bad for horse Jackson. So many realities. So many horse kicks. But I just think it would feel great. For a bit.

For a split. For like a microsecond. It would feel incredible. And then the pain would be like nothing you've ever experienced in your life. Or your brain. Or your dad. I just think, you know, your brain's going back and forth in your skull. Do you feel the same about a concussion?

Do you reckon a concussion would feel good? Let me tell you, Jackson, it doesn't. You don't really know what's going on. What's special about a horse kick is that it's so direct. It's so direct. And you know it's not the horse's fault, too. Because you were behind it. You're not meant to go there.

You should never be behind a horse. You're probably casting those grapes on them. You're pulling on its tail. I'm slapping its ass. You're not meant to go behind a horse. That're probably casting those grapes on them. You might be pulling on its tail. Yeah, slapping its ass. Yeah, poke. Yeah, you're not meant to go behind a horse. That's one of the animals you can't go behind. Yeah.

A lot of animals, it's no big deal. But with a horse, it's a real problem. You can go behind a dog. Yeah. It's easy. Some animals, it's actually good to be behind. Yeah. Snake?

Alligator? Yeah. That's funny with an alligator. They're an animal you shouldn't really go anywhere near. A gorilla can turn around. The beauty of an alligator is if you're behind it, for the alligator to rotate on the spot, it's a hassle. A gorilla just needs to...

And then you're getting torn in half. Oh, no. I thought it was hiding. I'm safe. Yeah, alas not. What about if you could go... Because this is another power they talk about Madam Web having. Just anywhere throughout history. Yeah. Well, I don't actually they talk about Madam Web having, just anywhere throughout history.

Yeah. Well, I don't actually, because with Madam Web. Is it anywhere throughout history or is it just directly to your history or to your, can I go back in time and give my mum a hug? Yes. Is that the power? Well, no, I think it's, I mean, that's like the not as super fulfilled version of the power. But I think the ultimate version of the power is maybe not throughout history,

but to be able to travel anywhere in your own timeline. See yourself as an old man. See yourself as a baby. I think that's kind of what she can do. Swap their spots! Give yourself back to my body disease. That's not what would happen. If you did that, you'd just die early?

If you swap your baby with your old man, you... What are you? In the middle? I'd swap and I'm like, all right, job all done. Thumbs up, disappear. You die, nothing. And then you're around again.

And the baby, and then you live... again and the baby and then you live the next 90 years yeah you just all you've done is move yourself forward in your own timeline i reckon i would just like experiencing death once once but i was gonna say the start of your life but the start of your your old life the start of your new life was when you were old. Or, if it's your own timeline, does that mean, no, because what'll happen is that you'll grow up and then Dusha will come and swap you back, right? No.

No. If you swap baby, you're an old dude. My brain can't figure out what happened. So if you have a line, and then you swap. I die of old age, nothing happens. So if you have a line, and then you swap... I die of old age. Nothing happens. And then all of a sudden a baby's just there and keeps going.

But the baby's you! Yeah, and the baby will keep growing up. And then it's old again and dies. Or old again, and then the same thing happens. Yeah, but... I guess it's a weird way of immortality. You keep switching. You keep jumping ahead.

But you've got to start as a baby again every time. Everything you did do just becomes nothing. You didn't do it. So you would disappear each time, but you would also get to live the next hundred years. Yeah, because you would disappear, but I knew you would form,

and presumably the you that gets formed has the same kind of, I guess, ideas of i guess ideas which is to swap baby you and so yeah it'll just keep going just keeps going forever i like the idea of just going through my own personal timeline and swapping everyone just like one year around whoa dude you get so messed up in there yeah but how does so like you go from like 6 to 8 to 7 to 9. But then, so you go from 6, you swap 6 and 7. So you're going 5, 7, 6.

So when your 5-year-old you transitions into their 6th year, they jump a year ahead. Although they're just gone and there's a new one. But then! At one point there's two yous. Yeah.

One you living out their seventh year and one you living out their fifth at the same time. You've made it complicated. You've complicated your own timeline immensely. Well, then you have multiple paths to go back down. Yeah. That's true.

Maybe I'll get everybody from my timeline and do that Mr. Beast thing where he got everybody of all the different ages. To touch a car? Yeah, no. He got everybody of all the different ages

to see which one was the best. Who won? I don't know. I didn't see. Why are you scrolling past that video? Well, I don't know. You know, I got stuff to do.

Got other videos to watch. Yeah, but if I did that for my own, I could see at what year I was at my peak yeah that would be disturbing yeah I think that would

probably wreck you yeah to find out my dress is like 11 it could be things were pretty good at 11 yeah best shape of my life

yeah yeah I I because can you change the past oh he's having a look season I think he's just having a gaze can Mr. Beast change the past? Or is he having a look season? I think he's just having a gaze.

Can Mr. Beast change the past? He's having a gaze. Or is he just having a gaze also? I think he's just having a gaze. But I mean, in time, who knows? Because Madam Web emotionally goes back in time because she gets in touch with her mumsies. Yes, that's true.

And so she gets to do something. Well, she goes back to her mum before she was born. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And so it's like, we did it or something.

But she's in her mum's tummy. It's when her mum's really pregnant. Yeah, I guess she still exists a bit. So she's... But doing that and being like, hey mum, I'm giving you a hug, that doesn't do anything. No.

So it's not real, maybe? Or is it all just in her own head? Yeah, I'm giving you a hug, that doesn't do anything. No. So it's not real, maybe? Or is it all just in her own head? Yeah, I don't know. It's an unclear. It's one of the few pieces of Madame Web that don't come together perfectly. Which historical figure would you travel back in time to hug? Maybe Hitler. He just needs a bit more love.

He just needs a bit more love He just needs a bit more love That'll fix it Imagine that We all get time travel Disappear I come back Baby Hitler We'll raise him right

Jackson take that back We don't know what's gonna happen What? That would be so scary You know what? I have baby Hitler Sonia baby Guess who this is?

I'll give you a hit. Give me a sharpie. You get three guesses at what special baby I've taken. Is it Charlie Jackson? Yeah. Jackson, please. You've messed with history in a complicated way. What are we going to do with him?

I'm immediately scrolling Wikipedia and stuff. Has anything changed? We need to quickly world war. It's not coming up. You want me to put him back? Hang on a second. Is that what you'd like? How did you spell?

I say he spelled Hitler wrong. I think it's the morally right thing to take baby Hitler to the future. I'm very surprised. He's a morally right thing to take baby Hitler to the future. I'm very surprised. Yeah. He's a baby! He doesn't know. I guess. I guess we're finally

to a nurture. It's three men and a baby. It's just that the baby's Hitler. Yeah. Okay. It's three, well, two stressed men, one not stressed man,

and one baby. It's just a normal baby. Right now, it's just a normal baby. If he starts walking and he goose steps, it's on you. Well, then it's innate. Then he already had being Hitler in him as an infant baby. Well, we could try my swapping old and young Hitler. Swap old Hitler and baby Hitler.

That's what put him in the bunker. Oh, I just killed Hitler. Well, he wouldn't know what to do. No, I mean, Hitler killed Hitler. He put a baby in a bunker. The Soviets come in and they're like, he's gone and there's a baby now. And then maybe the Soviets raise a baby Hitler. Will they raise him right?

Probably not. I will, though. Can we just not call him Hitler? Can we call him something else? John Hitler. Okay, we'll call him John Hitler for you. Let's still not his name. All right, Danny Hitler.

Yeah, I shouldn't have time travel. I think that's fair to say. Would you hug somebody else from history? Well, I was going to say Paul David Chapman. Mark David Chapman, sorry. He needs a hug. At what point? Just before? Just after. That would have been

stressful for you, man, but you got him. You got him so good. He was a piece of shit. Well done, dude. Well done. History will remember this. I'll make sure of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make sure you killed him because he was an abusive piece of shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can take him to get the other Beatles. Yeah! I like we just have time. We could kill a band. Yeah, that's true. Oh, that's the dream. Yeah, usually planes do that.

Not one guy. Yeah, not one guy with the powers of Madam Web. What about if you could split yourself in four, but those four could just go do whatever they like? Well, you know, there's four Beatles. Whoa! You split yourself in four, travel back in time to the height of the Beatles' power,

eliminate them. I'm the most loathed man in the world at the height of Beatlemania. Four Joel Dusha twins killed the Beatles. Wow. So with the four people that I can become, or I make four copies of myself, are they carbon copies of me as in like they are

by all intents and purposes, that's me. That is me with my powers. The way I believe it works is that it's not even like it's a copy of you. That's you. So that's me. Sick. So then they can make four copies of themselves. I don't know if it works quite like that.

But you just said it was me. Well, okay. You can act like an exponential Joel Zamas. I'm taking over the world. Yeah, but like that's like saying

everyone is me. This is a me planet now. Welcome to me. Do you mean everyone is you by like the Zamas you make will kill the other human beings? Okay.

All right. But also like I guess with the logic of alright, if you stand and jump, you don't get another jump when you're mid-air with the jump. What? Alright, because you don't get another power. What?

So Zamasu is saying he splits it to four and then he splits those four into four because they're all him. Yes. That's like saying you get a second jump at the peak of your jump because you've jumped and you're you if your power is yes as you right now your power is jump you can't do jump jump no fair enough this power is a mental power yeah yeah yeah you can split yourself at the four because then i could be like well i have a standing army with me yeah that's true who would you wage war against i don't know amer America. Yeah, okay. No, we've got to work up to America.

You also don't have like guns or anything. Hence you've got to work up to America. You've got the manpower though. That's what I mean. So you've got to

infiltrate and well, no, because you also have the time travel and also the future seeing powers. Yeah, why not? No, all right.

Whatever. The United States of Joe's Amid. Yeah. I reckon I'll stage a coup against Australia. I'm sick of them. Okay.

Yeah. You gonna do a better job? Yeah. Fair enough. I reckon you could definitely do small islands first. Mm-hmm. Yeah, little island nations. Just wait a second.

Wait a second. You're coming? Australia is also a huge island. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. I think that sounds like a lot of work.

Yeah, what are you doing with your splitting to four powers? I don't know. Oh, circle jerk? Probably. Yeah, that'd you doing with your splitting to four powers? I don't know. Oh, circle jerk? Probably. Yeah, that'd be awesome. We're all doing that. I think that's just not even worth discussing. If I had multiple me's, we'd...

We're all doing it. We'd become like... You ever see that pile of snakes? Yeah. That becomes like an orgy? And sometimes one of the guys... I don't like that you're looking at something while you say this because it looks like you're there.

You're imagining yourself. And sometimes the other snakes get around a boy snake and make him really hot. Yeah. That's awesome. Bees do that shit too. They buzz you to death. Yeah.

It's hornets. And bees. No, it's just that bees will buzz the hornets. And each other. And each other. And each other. Why are they doing to each other? Do you reckon it feels awesome like if they find a bee

they like he's got a bad vibe in the hive they just buzz him to death I don't know is that right yes are you sure

if the bees because they can the way that buzzing works is because they have an internal temperature and they can withstand to that point whereas when they do it

to an invading like a hornet yeah that hornet's like the temperature it can withstand is quite low yeah

lower which is why they do it so they can't do it to themselves invading like a hornet, that hornet's like the temperature it can withstand is quite low. It's lower, which is why they do it. So they can't do it to themselves. But surely if you've got enough bees, you've changed. Once again. If you've got enough bees, you've got like 80 bees around one bee. Once again. You can buzz it to death. You can buzz it to fucking death, dude.

The thing is, by doing that, though, they're raising it to a temperature to kill that one bee, which I don't know if you know this, but that same temperature kills them all. I just don't think they do it to the bees. They do it to a hornet. Oh, you'd have to get out your little machine. Or at least a little bee that's happy to take an

interview. I don't even know what to do. Do the bees buzz the bees? Can a bee buzz themselves? I could get the birds and the bees talk if you search for that. Yeah, that's true. Well, maybe I could do that to people with all of my me's. Oh, vibrate them to death.

Can you yourself vibrate at an intensity? Yeah, go on. Go on then. If one of you can vibrate, can the others vibrate? So if I have, what, 40 of you just wiggling around me, that just sounds like a good time. It's making me tired. Yeah, that's fair.

That's tiring. Yeah, it was. I was exhausted. I feel like's making me tired. Yeah, that's fair. It looks tiring. Yeah, it was. I was exhausted. I feel like that's a threat. I feel that's not a threat at all. You're telling me you're walking down a dark alley at night and 40 Jacksons come up to you like this? Yeah.

You're not scared? I'm confused. I'd be fucking terrified. I think I'm part of a flash mob and I'd get very unhappy. Is it 2011? Yeah, fuck. That's the right reaction to travel. Fuck, man.

Fuck. This has wrecked my day. This sucked when it happened the first time. I guess with a bunch of yous, you could do your own flash mob. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. You could be that. You could be that guy who sucks.

I don't want to be that. Yeah. I can't remember anything about flash mobs as in what they did. I remember the concept of a flash mob like everyone's standing in a spot Someone says something or does something and then it turns out that everyone was actually not just casually staying there But they're part of a flash mob. Yeah, but I couldn't I've seen them before couldn't tell you if they were dancers Yeah, sometimes it'd be a dancer a little actor like a sometimes maybe they would become dance. Yeah I think there's like a like a nerf fight was one of them, I remember.

Nerf fights are very 2011. One, I think, wasn't... A few people did it to propose. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Grow up. Yeah.

I guess they have. Yeah, they did. They have now. Yeah. Yeah, I guess, like, using the four people that can go back in time, I'm just getting everything together, going to the mid-2000s, just setting things straight. We've lost our way as humans for a bit too long,

and I feel like we're still recovering. What would you do? Who are you going to talk to? Millennials. Okay. All of them. Okay. Stop saying doggo.

Say I'm a millennial. I have my doggo. Your Harry Potter house. Yeah. I got a t-shirt that says proud Hufflepuff. I'm sitting on a bench. You're posting your sixth Facebook status of the day. Being like, got my Stubbies.

You can officially talk to me now. And what are you doing? Hitting you with a bat. Taking your phone and then posting, I regret everything. Hey, we can go further. We go to Harvard. Okay. When do you do this? Whatever.

I'm going to watch the social network again. I'm pretty sure it's a late night. Where's that fuckbox Zuckerberg? And then when he's doing that, we're going to hit him with a brick. You take a brick and a bat to hit him with a brick. Yeah. Okay. You take a brick and a bat, and you go,

Wait a second. Al Gore, he did internet? He did global warming. Well, prevented global warming. Uncomfortable truth. Wasn't he part of- Inconvenient truth? Inconvenient.

Wasn't he part of making the internets? Man-Bear-Pig? That's him. You've said this before, and then we looked it up, and the answer was yes, but I can't give you any more context than that. And I feel, though, they were doing internet for the military. How can we stop that? How do we stop the internet?

That might be good. Do you reckon we could send back a virus from 2024? That they have no way of figuring out in the early days of the internet? Destroy all technology with one simple virus trick. Okay, cool. All right. So with my Madam Web powers, what I'm going to do is I'm going to get a bunch of me's.

We're going to go back in time and we're going to study computer science and all like cyber security, all that kind of stuff, because I don't know right now shit about fuck. So we're going to do that. Then we're going to converge into one point. We're going to be like, okay, cool, I understand it all. Then we're going to go back in time, and we're going to virus the hell out of early internet technology. Kill it dead in the water.

Kill it dead in the water and breathe a good sigh of relief. Absolutely. Come to the future, we get different jobs. Pat myself on the back. Be like, well done, me. I did it. Yeah. You'd always remember the internet, but it would be gone forever.

And yeah, like, society would just be better. Absolutely society would be better. Maybe I'd give myself an award. Oh, yeah! Go back, stop the internet, but then also go back and name... No, just myself. Just make another version of me. Go to a trophy shop.

Make a trophy. Okay, make a version of myself, send them back in time to like, you know, learn how to Make a trophy. Okay. Make a version of myself, send them back in time to learn how to make a trophy. Okay. And do all that kind of stuff, like engraving, become a really good artist. Okay. And then we got them to make a trophy of me stopping the internet, and then they can present it to me, and then I can absorb them, and then we have a good time. Say I come to your house.

Yeah. I say, hey, man, it's a lovely day. I've just been reading. That's what we do now. I've been reading and I'm in shape. Yeah, I'm in shape. I've been reading. I just went for a run.

I watched a film and I had no one else's insane opinions or thoughts about it. Yeah, exactly. It's really good. I saw a guy and I was like, where's he from again? I don't know. I have a million unanswered questions, but in that I find a certain level of bliss. Hey, I've never noticed that before. What's that trophy for?

Lifetime Achievement Award. What's this machine you're holding? It's an art project. Did I tell you I did a semester of, I guess it was in art school. We did a statue kind of thing. Yeah, I made that. What's the little machine? I don't know. It's like a little thing I've made. I would call it a little machine, I think did like a statue kind of thing yeah I made that what's the little machine? I don't know

it's like a little thing I made I would call it a little machine yeah it's a little machine I thought it was nice it looked pretty okay

I know I saw it at this moment I know you remember back who gave you the award sir? no it's an art project oh right sir you said yeah come on

I don't know why my attention span is normally incredible from all this reading From all this reading. From all this reading, yeah. I can focus on things for like three to four hours. Yeah, yeah. It was like back in like, I remember reading something.

Right, yes. In a book. Reading is great. Yeah, it's so good. And it was like they were talking about like the advent of like inventing of like say VCR. Right. VCRs, we could watch movies. I love my VCR.

Yeah, they're great. And yeah, there was talks about like you know technology progressing and I did I don't know I just felt like I wanted to have a piece about that how like you know

it was good that we didn't go that path that didn't pass and that's what I made over my head yeah little highbrow for me back to Moby Dick

yeah and I just stared at it just a big smile on my face you took it yeah well done well done eradicating the internet truly a beautiful thing yeah And I just stare at it, just a big smile on my face. You took it, yeah. Well done. Well done. You're eradicating it to a truly beautiful thing.

Yeah. It's the move. I'm trying to think if there's any other way we can use these powers. Any way to make money? I mean, obviously there's gambling. The best way to make money is honestly gambling. Yeah. Like if you have like precog powers, sure.

What if we do, what if we say, what if I make, like, 80 of me? Yeah. And I say we're 80 toplets. Okay. We're all twins. Okay, so your plan is to charge money for this. Yes, to do, like, a Kate plus eight situation. Uh-huh.

How'd that go for them? Well, that's, I mean, I don't know. I believe that it used to be someone in Kate plus eight? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dave and Kate? Very possibly. But I mean, that's just a prototype. What we're doing will work.

Okay, so it's 80 of you. Pitch it to me. John and Katie plus 80. Okay. Okay, so you get adopted by John and Katie? No, I say Katie is our real mom. And she had us all. Yeah.

And we are 80 triplets or twins or whatever. John and Cassie plus 80 also works. No, it's got to rhyme. Cassie and 80 kind of. Not enough. It's got to be John and Katie plus 80. So you approach TV shows remembering that 79 of you are ghosty, sort of. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We put them in makeup. It's fine. Uh-huh. Solidifying makeup. Uh of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We put them in makeup. It's fine. Uh-huh. Solidifying makeup. Uh-huh. I say, hi. I don't know you're a reality TV show executives. I don't know if this is the kind of thing you'd be interested in,

but we're the world's first 80 toplets. I mean, you're over 30, though. How do we not know about this? We've been keeping it pretty secret. Where? There's 80 of you. In the woods? You've been living in the woods?

Yes. How did you survive? Our house burnt down. Your house burnt down. Where was it? Yeah, in the woods. Which woods? The nearby ones. Victoria. The nearby woods. In the high country. In the high country where all those cults

are? We're not a cult. I promise we're not a cult. So in a small town. No, in a with 80 of you. There was a small town nearby but we lived in a shack. Sorry, your mum gave birth to 80 of you at the same time. Yeah, it was like a litter of puppies. No, that's way more than a litter

of puppies. That's like 8 times more than a litter of puppies. That's like eight times more than a litter of puppies. That's like a frog spawn. I don't know. That's like a salmon egg situation. I don't know what to tell you. I mean, you can see with your own eyeballs. And you all have an education. Yeah, well, yeah.

We got educated. We sort of have a homeschool education, but yeah. Okay, so no. We got homeschooled in the shack. In the woods. All 80 of you. All 80 of us. It wasn't perfect.

Where are the 80 now? They're with me in the hall. Looking back, there's 80 of you all 80 of us it wasn't perfect where are where are the 80 now they're with me in the hall looking back there's 80 of you there's 79 me's hey hello

we're twin twoplets yeah yeah and then you look back at me and I'm like there you go anyway do you want to do a reality TV show about our lives

no why not because it doesn't sound interesting and I feel like you're lying. Can I do a docu... How is he lying? There's 80 of them. Look! Yeah, but it feels like a trick.

What's the trick? We don't know yet. Can we... Okay. Look into it then. We're not spending money on what is definitely him scamming us. What is the scam? Well, who cares?

He doesn't seem like an interesting guy. We're talking about 80 of them. He's 80 of me and I was raised in a burnt down shack. He says he's an occult, but it's clearly occult. What's not interesting? Dude, we at least get a documentary series out of this. When he asked how his mother gave birth, he was like, I don't know. Yeah, but we need to find his mom and dad.

We'll have to. Yeah, all right. Sure, okay. We're interested, but I think we have, can you bring your mum and dad? Yeah, well then this is the next spot where I have to hire some actors. So you gotta pretend to be our mum and dad. And you'll get paid handsomely. Yeah, what's the contract you've agreed to, yo? Well, we'll figure it out. I'll get lawyers involved, it doesn't matter.

Yeah, cause we're probably just, if it's a documentary... We're gonna get lawyers involved as well. It's a reality TV show! I won't let you do a documentary. I refuse. It has to be a reality TV show. Nothing else. We're not picking it up then. That's despicable.

What is the reality TV show? What are you bitching? What are you doing? It's about, we live in the woods. Are you living in the woods? So we film you standing around a burnt down shack. You have to get a shack in a wood. You've got to burn it down.

Yes. Then you have to then somehow build a bigger shack. That can house 80 of me. That can house 80 of you. Yeah. And then fill it with memories. Yeah, exactly. And get two actors who look hopefully like you.

To be like, yeah, I gave birth to these 80 men. Uh-huh. How? Do you have pictures of this? No, we... A birth certificate? We lost it all in the fire. What hospital?

It was home birth. Off the cards. Oh, 80 home birth. 80 home birth. How are you... Madam, how are you not dead? Just luck, I guess. Was it all in the same day?

Yep. 80. 80. In 24 hours. Pop it about like fucking Maltesers. Okay. Yes. I guess was it all in the same day yep Okay, yes, um how big would they did you lose any no they came out really small See this is all very interesting stuff for a documentary, but unfortunately your sons don't want to do a documentary, so we're not interested. What if the reality TV show is like, once an episode, we eliminate one of them? So you're killing them.

Well, no, they're not really alive. What do you mean they're not really alive? What do you mean? All right, what if I change tactic? I say, hey, okay, here's the scam. These guys, they're not fucking real, okay? They're psychic projections from my mind, because I was bitten by a spider not fucking real, okay? They're psychic projections from my mind, because I was bitten by a spider or some shit, okay?

And so we can do whatever the fuck we want with them. Aren't they you? Not really. You said they were you. Yeah, I was lying. They're psychic projections. They'll pop on out of existence. They'll pop on back into existence.

That's money on the fucking table. What money? It's a reality TV show. So what do you want to do with them? What money? To reality TV shows. To what with? What? Bitch, anything. Put them through obstacle courses. Put them in a house together.

Do Big Brother, but it's all me. That's not interesting. So we're doing like a human forgo. They're all you? Sure. Because if it's all you. Give me a contract. I'll sign it.

Who are you? That's only interesting for you. You're just making a TV show you want to see cause you want to see how 20 of you interact. Yeah! No one else does! That's crazy. So you have this power? Yeah. Can we tell them you have this power?

I think that would be bad for ratings but you can do it. That's the only thing right now that's fascinating about you is you have this power. I was bit by a special spider. That's fascinating. That's something that's unique. That's interesting. Let's do a show. So we're going to, I guess we're going to do it again.

You need something to do about this spider thing. We'd build a show around that maybe. I don't know about this. Yeah, it's like a docu... What do you mean you got bit by a spider? We're getting a team together. I got bit by a special spider in a laboratory. I think we're going to make a... get bit by a special spider in a laboratory we're doing a like why is it why can this man psychically project himself and why is he born

so dumb like the only thing fascinating about you is that you have these powers yeah and so then it's like oh yeah 40 of the same guy we're like or a hundred or a hundred or a million i was about to say 40 of the same guy who is just a guy that I know nothing about. The only thing that's interesting is there's 40 of them. Isn't that interesting? It's cool to see. Is it? Is it?

You, Jackson, have the strangest concept of things that are interesting. Was it you that pitched the idea of you'd love to watch your dad hang out with your dad? Yes, he would love to see that. I stand by that. Okay, I was going to say, all right. And the idea of like 20 of you. 20 of anyone. You sitting, you know, just eating popcorn, watching 20 of you in a big brother house.

You're like, this is great TV. So we're in the Matrix. That's boring. The whole thing with reality TV is clashing personalities. We're all the same guy. Same guy. So in the Matrix, there's a bunch of Agent Smiths all fighting

Keanu. Yeah, it's awesome. It's cool to see. Is it not cool to see a million of the one guy? No. That's crazy. Like, is it in what context? I think history will prove me right. In what context? Just doing anything. Building a house? But anything. Building a house?

But can you build a house? Running a casino? Like, if the whole thing is this man can, okay, we'll go away from Psychic Projections. You are the multiple man. You can clone yourself. I've got a million of me. You can do a hundred of you or whatever. Like, can this, can a hundred Jacksons build a house?

Awesome. Run a farm. Can Psychic Projections? Oh, yeah, they can. They can touch stuff. She pulls off the other spider web. This man can psychically create copies of himself that can interact with the world. So he can make copies of himself. Okay.

Can one man build a house? Well, we'll see. We'll find out. I reckon no, you can't because it's still you. And also with the psychic projections, I think the part I was trying to remember just then is I'm pretty sure that that's the reason that... She gets blind. She gets paralyzed and blind.

Is that why? Because she's splitting up her consciousness that much? She doesn't see the future, so she ends up getting got by a Pepsi sign? Well, no, because I'm pretty sure when she splits the four up, when she splits into four, then they hit her.

Like, while she's doing that, that's when he hits her with the thing, and then she falls into the water, and the Pepsi side falls down. Okay. Because, like, she can't really move. She herself is vulnerable. Or they can keep me in, like, a lab or something. Doing, I'm making great TV! But also, if I've got multiple man powers, I think, or anyone,

it doesn't have to be me, I think that would be interesting, because those new guys will develop unique personalities on the island or in the house. Yeah. I have absolutely

zero interest in watching a reality TV show that is just 10 of the same guy. This is Arnold. We're going to put Arnold and 70 other Arnolds on an island. Yep.

And by the end of a year, we'll see what those Arnolds turned into. Doesn't interest me. We'd probably read about it. That's it. That's something. That's clicks. There's no money in that.

It's clicks on a website. Yeah, like, yeah, I could see that becoming a thing. Like, you know, we've cloned Arnold 70 times, putting him on an island. Welcome to Arnold Island. Yeah, there's like, there's something there you could do. Yeah. It's money in the bank. No, I think it's money thrown away.

It's bad money after bad. Yeah. But wouldn't you want to see like a retrospective like the Arnolds in like 40 years? What had happened to him, you know? Like, again, maybe I'm scrolling through. That's clicks that's ad revenue okay what did happen all those arnold they were the same guy you'll never believe what happened to the arnold's could be an article yeah yeah and then nothing they all stayed the same and no because they wait because when they they don't what is more

interesting to me, I guess, would be like, all right, the same guy can multiply himself many times, and then we give them each like a... What's it called? Race around the world? What kind of thing? Oh, yeah, Amazing Race.

Amazing Race. Whereas like, it's a similar kind of vein, where we've given them all like a camera crew or whatever, and they're going out to just explore the world. Okay. And then it's kind of like, you know, yeah, they do their own thing. And then, yeah, that maybe is interesting

in the sense of like, and then afterwards, where have they ended up? Yeah. Because all those life experiences, have they actually changed the man in any way, shape, or form? I don't know if that's like an interesting thing to watch or if it's just like an interesting article to read.

Maybe they could do like a, what was that show where it was like Seven Up? Yeah, Seven Up. Yeah. Yeah, great drink. Maybe we do that as you know, yeah, it's like Seven Up but with the one guy We got this one guy Arnold. We got him. So what they did with boyhood. Yeah, but for seven guys I haven't seen Boys. I didn't watch it. And Seven Up's not about seven guys. No, I know. It's about a seven-year-old We do with one guy at seven.. No, I know. It's about a seven-year-old. Seven-year-olds. We do it with one guy at seven. Yep.

He's split. Yep. Okay? Into, say, ten guys. Yeah. We put them in different places in the world, different walks of life. Uh-huh.

And then we keep revisiting them, like Seven Up, over the course of their lives, see what happened. Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. That's what shows. That's a lot more interesting. See, he puts it like a nature thing. Not what you pitched.

That's not what you pitched nor is it within the skill set you have true do the psychic projections age we don't know I guess as I do yeah

so I was like yeah you know psychically project and then they go back in time and learn things and whatever but I don't know if that's even I don't think that's really an ability you have

yeah you I think that one of the benefits of the Madam Web Power is you would embarrass yourself less. Yeah. Yeah.

Because you trip over. No, you didn't. And people would maybe say that. They'd be like, wow, Jordan should never trip over. Yeah. Jackson barely no longer farts out loud. But I can still tell

when he's farted. He's got a real smug look on his face now. Like he knows he's figured out how to fart quiet. But he has definitely stopped farting. It smells the same. I still know he's farting. I can tell, but it's less distracting.

And Joel Zaman has not dropped one single ball of spaghetti. I've got to say, yeah, it's improved their lives getting these mountain web packs. We've done so much with it. we've done so much we've done so much we've done so much with it

yeah well I think we used it probably better than Madam Webb could ever dream of oh big time dude big time

big time huge time yeah I'm just like you know thinking the whole like you know we were saying

about like she projected it and then it was left vulnerable I thought maybe it would be nice to have that kind of like she projects it

and maybe yeah it is she's like leaving it more vulnerable in that moment in time. She can't see the future and ends up being, you know, more blind and, like, you know, hit by something.

Yeah, yeah. The big P comes. Paralyzed or whatever. That would have made a bit more sense if that was, you know, maybe shown. Yeah, no, no, no.

Of course not. Yeah. No, man. Still a great movie. Oh, yeah. Still one of the best. Better than No Way Home. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been best. Better than No Way Home. And on that

note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. Remember there's comments on YouTube videos and let Jackson know what you thought about his statement. Would you disagree? You think Madam Web's worse than No Way Home? It's much better. That's sincere. See you in the comments section,

everyone. I don't know where I fall. It is. What are you talking about? I think No Way Home sucks shit, but it's still better than Madam Web. Yeah, but there's no moments of clapping. Yeah, but there's pretty much no... Why am I getting sucked into this? this