Plumbing the Death Star - What Would You Do In A 'Chicken In Black by Johnny Cash' Scenario?

Episode Date: May 4, 2025

Remember that time Johnny Cash made a song about doing Freaky Friday with a chicken, and he turned into a bank robber whilst a chicken made off with his fame and fortune? Whatever, it made no sense but I liked the way he said “GEETAR case”. Anyway, this is a podcast that explores what would happen if that scenario actually happened. Enjoy!Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Morgan from Off the Shelf and I'm here to tell you how my Google Pixel 9 helps me read more. Google actually gifted me this phone and now I use it non-stop. The other day, I was trying to remember the name of this book someone recommended and instead of spiraling into a 40 minute social media scroll, I just asked Gemini on my Pixel. What's that romantic book with a competition and a ghost helping her through the trials. It's like having that one friend who always knows what you're talking about. Learn more about the Google Pixel 9 at store.google.com. Stories that heal share yours. Together we are unsinkable. Weareunsinkable.com

Hey everybody and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the important questions. And this one's important. This one's very important. This one's important. This one's very important. This one's vital. What would you do if a bank robber's brain was put into your head and your brain was put into a chicken? As seen in the Johnny Cash song,

The Chicken in Black. This is from the disco this is suggested by a lovely listener Mia. Thank you very much They suggested it in the listener suggestions on the sandspence plus discord channel now It's a real puzzler. It's a real head scratcher. It's a real thinker. So in this song, in this scenario... Jonathan Cash. Jonathan Cash, for two long years his head hurt real bad. Okay. Okay, so I got a big headache. You got a big headache.

I'm there, I'm there. Probably a tumor. Yeah, alright. I've got to assume this sucks. Well, he gets real bad news straight off the bat. So the doctor checked me, and he shook his head. He said, I'm sorry to tell you, but your body's outlived your brain. Oh, doc, that's the- what do you mean?

Why is my brain hurting and not my body though? Wait, sorry, can you run back by me again, doc? Your body has outlived your brain. Your brain dead. Or your brain's dying. So wait, my body has outlived my brain? I'm stupid. So, no, my brain- I'm not brain dead, I'm body dead. No, your body's outlived. I'm not brain dead. My I'm body dead No, you're like me my body your body's outlived your brain My brain has not outlived my body has lived longer than my brain. My body has outlived my father outlives his son

Who's alive? How did you both really struggle to comprehend that? My look my body has outlived my brain. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry but your body has outlived your brain. He said, but he was like don't worry though. My body has outlived my brain.

What the hell you mean? What do you mean my body's... So my brain's good? Jonathan don't even stress because I know this doctor in New York, son Oh, yeah, I know fix you right up with a brand new one. Thanks dad What? so the head doctor met

and then Dad can you change my brain or whatever? I have enough well with all the things that if I have a different guys brain, I will be dead I am like, thank you dad for fixing me So more fog or the me I Jonathan cash. Yeah, it's Jonathan cash Lee Gets on the train Gets off the train and then the head doctor met him when he stepped off the train. Oh, no, it's on the platform The head doctor which it is referred to in the lyrics,

Yeah. said, Hey, we had this bank robber killed last night. Oh good. His body's shot, but his brain's alright. Oh yeah. I'll give you a transplant, boy, and you'll be okay. Oh sick.

New brain. New brain alert. I'm gonna be good now. My head's gonna stop hurting. Yeah. McGulliver. My head hurts so bad, dude. Mmm. But then things go wrong for old Jonathan Cashley. gonna stop hurting yeah yeah McGulliver then things go wrong for old Jonathan

Cashley yeah I'm not burning table yeah surgery is a success the problem is that the next time he's performing no not quite huh what happens is so he gets a new brain in and he's feeling great he went back down to Nashville with no headache but then something strange happened when he walked into a bank oh What happens is, so he gets a new brain in and he's feeling great, he went back down to Nashville with no headache But then something strange happened when he walked into a bank.

Oh, yeah, so my face, my head and face is feeling fabulous. Yeah, everything's feeling good. Then, that was the best, that was the best thing in my life. Then he walked into a bank And you say stick him up everybody. I'm robbing this place. Drop all of your money into my guitar case Don't nobody move and don't nobody reach for the door and then a lady it doesn't seem like they're taking Jonathan cash Lee's bankroll well a lady a lady immediately comes up to him and says why you're Johnny cash

and then Johnny Jonathan cash Lee says no man no maam. I'm the Manhattan Flash Yeah, okay, don't know that guy from the comics So there I am and then I just like this is words come out of my mouth. I somehow got a like a piece I miss you me. Yeah, and I'm like But and then I'm about to apologize and I say no I am Manhattan Bank robber in New York. Yeah, okay, okay I'm dead. I guess yeah, I guess I guess Well, I thought I was fine though because I'm like wow things are good now Yeah, like I think this is one of those things where I'm like you are still there

But you're slowly being like taken over ego my Manhattan Flash by Manhattan Flash so like Jackson Bailey He reverts boy you there you have some thinking cells in your stomach That's true. So I guess those my gut Bacteria yeah, just remember being Jackson are kind of getting like some of me left They're still like like, you know, I guess all that brain fluid and yeah, like, you know All the other bits and pieces there that is like you. Muscle memory, that's all you. So you're still like kind of floating around there.

But then mostly Manhattan Flash has taken over and now I'm robbing banks. I guess to help, you know, for all you pop culture heads out there, and help us into perspective, this is like what happened when Doc Ock took over Peter Parker. Oh lordy.

This is Suspira, Suspira, Suspira, Spiderman. Suspirius Spider-Man. Suspirius Spider-Man. You know, Galo Spider-Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Galio. Galeo Spider-Man. Galeo.

Galeo, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. You were right. Suspirius Spider-Man, that's funny. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He went to dance school and things were bad for him. Yeah.

Yeah, anyway, things get from, things go from bad to worse for old Jonathan Cashley. Okay.ley. Okay, like fuck can't go into a bank, but That's okay He gets a call from Roy a cuff. Okay, this is right name. I'd like you to do a show Yeah, so then I went out on stage, but I couldn't sing I got half a verse So he still has half a verse in him I got into half a verse of I walkeded a Lie and then something snapped in this head of mine And I yelled stick him up give me your money your watches and your rings. So he robs a concert

He robs a concert. Before we get to the would that work? Yeah Say we were on stage And I pull a piece I mean we are robbing our audience every time we perform we charge money for tickets Yeah, we should be paying them. Yeah, I get it. I get it. If we're sitting on stage. Hey everyone. Welcome to plumbing the death star I'm Joel. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. Yeah. Anyway Thanks so much for having us now while I've got your attention

I pull out a gun and I say give me your money. You might have noticed there's a sack at the front of the stage. That's for cash. Yeah. We needed, we wanted gifts. Because like- This is not a bit, stop laughing. I'm very serious. We're not doing a joke, this is a real gun. I think the only way to know that I'm serious

is I'm gonna have to fire some warning shots at the Jackson. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. See? He's telling the truth. My guts are proof that the gun is real. But like so probably that stuff we did it. Yeah. You know, that's a it's a it's a big venue. But some people are

doing shows to thousands of people. You know, if you pull out a gun on stage, there's a thousand people in the crowd. If I'm up the back, P-Rex, I got a bad seat. I'm looking at him like behind a pillar is Beyonce is Bruno Mars robbing them like how you start up Beyonce went I really really really like that in your like your version You're in the stands and like looking down trying to figure out if he's wrong people even though he'd say it into the microphone You want to go buy a hot dog, so you- Yeah, yeah. You were in line at the hot dog stand. But I've got a system of mirrors set up so I can still watch Bruno Mars.

No, you're like walking back in, chowing down on a hot dog. Oh, obviously, Jonathan Cashley does what we'd all do. He immediately calls up the doctor and says, Doc, you f**ked it. You f**ked it so bad. You f**ked my head right up. We gotta fix this. I can't stop robbing people. I'm Johnny Jonathan Cashley.

I am known for performing incredible songs. Not for robbing concerts. Ring a fire, hurt. I won't, not hurt. Not at this point anyway. I am known for my performing incredible not for Robin Not at this point anyway I'm gonna cover our song by a band that doesn't exist yet. Yeah I know Bob Dylan. Yeah, okay. Yeah anyway, so Jonathan cashly calls, New York talks to the brain quack and said doc. I gotta have my old brain back. Yep Normal yeah, normal self. I Give me my brain back. I know

That lived meal whatever Better the headaches better than this now. How would you respond to getting this news? Okay? I'm sorry there mr. Cash, but I can't do that. So you're bombed at this point I'd be like, but maybe my body's incinerated or something. You're in your body Me and you Jack, we were like, we woke up this morning, we were up with our collective fridge and I was like, oh, dumbfuck juice! And I called you up and I'm like, Jack, do you have your own dumbfuck juice that you're drinking? Oh, do you think it's the best way to start the morning? Yeah, grab that gulp! Do you watch Freaky Friday and just get confused as fuck? What the fuck is happening? What could you possibly mean? It's like Freaky Friday just get confused as fuck

Me Lindsay local is that what the show's called? Jamie Lee Neese? Is Lindsay just she's doing a like she's just doing a bit. Yeah, why is she impersonating her mom? I don't understand. Is she making fun of her mom? Where's her twin to make her dad come back? Yeah, is Dennis Quiet in this one? And then I'm on Twitter like you know anyone notice this movie doesn't make any sense Has anyone watched Freaky Friday recently? Where's Dennis Quiet and her twin?

Yeah, yeah Is Meg Ryan here? We forgive too many plot holes Has anyone watched Freaky Friday recently? Where's Dennis Quaid? Where's Dennis Quaid and her twin? Yeah. Is Meg Ryan here? We forgive too many plot holes. Yeah. What doesn't make sense about this movie is why does Lindsay Lohan do that? I don't get it. Well, no matter what you're expecting the Doctor to hear to following the sentence, I'm sorry there Mr. Cash, but I can't do that.

The reason he can't do that is because he's unfortunately put our brain John Jonathan cash Lee's brain In a chicken last Monday, right? The bad news gets goes from last to worse Yeah, it's gonna have such a headache It's gonna have such a big head The chickens because also it gets worse because the chicken yeah, the chickens been singing Johnny Johnny Cash songs Making lots of money that double motherfucker and the chicken just got signed to a 10-year recording contract that chicken How long's the chicken love whatever also you know what I'm good at right now robbing

Yeah, I'm gonna rob that chicken. It's not hard to kill a chicken with that guy I'm gonna threaten that chicken with my gun now chickens lifespan five to ten years Like signing someone to like a 120 year record But maybe the idea is they get the chicken to do a bunch of albums and then they slowly Release them over time the juice world approach. Yeah, exactly. Oh, it's a posthumous album. Yeah, you know remember chicken Yeah, so that chicken forever Is that I'd ask the doctor so wait have you just given us the chicken a bigger skull was my previous brain? Just enough size to fit into it. Yeah, or is it in the chickens guts now?

Yeah, I think because the chicken the doctor is the person who got the chicken science or recording contracts I think the doctor's like shut the fuck up. This is my guy I don't care anything you say but then Jonathan cashly he He just leaves defeated then says now friends if you see me walking down the street remember what you see ain't Necessarily me and if I try to hold you up don't pay me no mind It's just a tick I have It's a thing that I do now after my brain surgery is that I keep thinking I have a gun But it's obviously my guitar and I keep being like, you know, give me money. Yeah, but I'm just I

He's also I mean he's taking the chicken brain stuff in his stride because he then says if you got 10 bucks You can blow you want to check out that Johnny Chicken show I mean he's doing fairs and concert dates all up and down the line chicken stole my name Johnny chicken his name is Johnny cash my name is Johnny. Yeah That chicken wasn't named Johnny before Now there's some down and also you've stolen Manhattan Flash's name. Manhattan Flash is dead, dude.

And also that just keeps happening. I don't want to. I'm still Johnny Cash. Or maybe Johnny Chicken is just like, I'm Johnny Chicken. I'm Johnny Chicken. Here's what I keep thinking. Now I feel sad for Johnny Chicken. You should feel sad for Johnny Chicken.

Don't feel worried about Johnny Chicken. Johnny Chicken is doing very well for himself? Yeah, what's the chicken gonna do with money? Yeah? What's it you're gonna do by seed yeah? Yeah, I subscribe Yes, well that's think the chicken is clearly being how much is 30 cents Fucking side 1984 whatever 10 bucks a sack maybe in your know in my 1984, yeah sure, maybe this is fucking chicken scratch across 10 fucking bucks. But in reality, chicken...

Here's my... ...scratch. Yes. Question. I forget. Here's another question. Chicken scratch is fucking 30 bucks a bag at the moment. Dude, I had that locked in. That's crazy. Oh wait, 20 kilos of... Hang on, check if I'm a savant Let's do the other bags of pet food mm-hmm one bag of horse

Bag of horse meat I mean I'm gonna say Well, I guess it'd be one bale of hay 50 buck You think a bail I hay 50 buck Bail of hay? You think a bale of- 50 buck for a bale of hay I was right about the chicken scratch Give me another thing No, bale of hay cost Like maybe, I'm gonna say

How much did you say? 50 bucks I was gonna say 110 Yeah, okay Each round bale cost between 120 and 150 dollars Yeah, fuck it was close. So you were you are my half. Yeah, but I know you're almost 30 like yeah But I said 50 yeah, you said 50 which is a bit of the word $100 off Yeah, but yeah, it was $70. I don't, you were close. But if we're going on just words...

I'm not though. Maybe we should. What if it was $1,050? You were like, well, $150. Yeah, you were very wrong though. But if I'm psychic... Yeah, okay. If you... let's... okay. Yes! If you're psychic...

Then I got the $50 into my brain. And a horse feed. Horse feed. Bag of horse feed bag feed 75 bucks. I'll have to double-check. I'm just figuring out at first how much How much $30 of scratches in 1984 These are the important questions asked on plumbing the death star yeah bag of horse feed 75 bucks. I'm saying well Allah my like Don't plop me to that store. Yeah. Bag of horse feed, 75 bucks I'm saying. Wow. I lost like $36.

Only $6 more for feeding a horse than a chicken. That's crazy. 30 kilos. Horses are so much bigger. 40 bucks, mate. I guess you're buying more for the horse than the chicken probably. Yeah, dude.

That makes sense. 50 bucks if you're gonna buy like I don't know High horse everyday plus yeah, well, that's if you really care about your horse. I'm yeah $7 94 Jesus Yeah, roughly what $30 in 1984 But is that the gourmet shit, you know any of your if you're a famous chicken you're buying the gourmet shit What about like we'll go like a cat food like cat kibble ten kilos. What do you reckon ten kilos of cat kibble? 80 bucks

Well, there is one you can get from bunnings 80 bucks. Okay, maybe I am a savant when it comes to pet feed Yeah, one tin of dog food. I mean look you can also get it for $40 like a hundred and I am a savant how much did you say for a can of dog food can a $2.50 wrong four bucks Maybe you're not maybe you're not damn. It's the evidence seems more weighed toward that I'm not how much you reckon installation of a pool This is my favorite new game What about like a portable pools that you can get to set up in the back no no no We don't want something more bigger than that

How much yet an in-ground concrete? Average cost in-ground concrete pool. Have you got the answer? Yeah. I'd say we're talking between, can I do between? Of course, buddy. You're a savant. I've got between here and then I've got the average. I'm going to say between 10...

Wrong. There is no way that's right. Between 10 and a dollar. Ten thousand. Yeah, okay. And thirty thousand. Okay, so the low end is thirty five. Yeah. So between thirty five to a hundred. Okay, okay, what about a fiberglass, an in-ground fiberglass pool? Okay. How big? I need more information.

Average size. Mate. Okay. Goverage size. Matt. Okay, now based on the previous answer... No, no, no, you're a savant. You don't need to think about logical reasons. You're distracting me is the problem. I just need to center myself. Fiberglass pool in ground...

40... Wrong. Fiberglass is cheaper than concrete, you fucking idiot. It's... It's a shell have you seen a fucking bull hole come on there's gonna be something where I'm a survive give me someone else was the answer was it was that between 25 to 75 yeah fuck yeah what God am I holding on you don't even need a don't even need a fucking just like what ace of diamonds wrong?

Although you weren't that far off. It was a jack Okay, maybe way back to the almost a survive. No you're an idiot Okay, what about the first appearance of Spiderman okay? 58 what are you saying? That's a year, not a value. Is that... Wait, what? Amazing Fantasy?

How much is it worth? Why would he be asking you what year it came out? I don't know. It's 1962, I'm pretty sure. Maybe you're a survivor. Okay, the value of an Amazing Fantasy. 10 grand. amazing spot of the amazing amazing fantasy and grand 15 9.6 comic like at the CEC universe of great it's got like a 9.6 10 grand take a and you reckon

take a more on 10 grand you're the dumbest possible off by 3.6 million I don't think you know what anything is worth 9.6 and exercise Yeah, I was right though. It did come out in 1962. Yeah, well done. No, thank you Okay, good to know. You wanna take any other guesses before we get back to the song? Or do you think you've noticed a one?

No. Give me one more. Okay. One more, figure something else out. You know what, you know what? The price of a big M. Now? Yeah.

From? Let's go with, I think you're a Coles boy. Yeah, sure. Okay. Okay. I got the price of it at Woolworth's for a 500 mil Chocolate big M. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna say you can either give it to me like I Got the price for from for bullies. It's on sale. I'll take you to the sale price of the regular price Sale price I reckon we're talking Like two dollars twenty two dollars thirty on sale mm-hmm full price like maybe

380 okay, both wrong 350 not on sale or 290 on sale. Yeah 290 on sale $4 regular Okay, well close. I mean I was a couple of cents off. Yeah, but like how often did you buy a big M pretty often? Yeah, I don't think I just what a fuck yeah, I get to drink a big M later What about like a big like, you know big M ice coffee like the like the like the like a jug that you put in the fridge Do you ever buy those? No, like the, like the, like the, like a jug that you'd put in the fridge. Do you ever buy those? No, but I should. Like five bucks?

No, dude. Close at eight. Do you know the price of anything? You suck. I was so, I was on the money. Okay, hang on. I know something else you mean. With that chicken scratch, dude.

So 500 grams of mince beef. That's, you're talking like seven bucks eight bucks 650 from from Willie's okay 10 from Coles if it's a five-star extra trim how much is a movie ticket? 20 bucks wrong 25 Closer depending on which cinema you go to 30 no to I I was so good with the chicken scratch

Like a liter of fuel What's it do you like will know what the price range of just like a gas price in Australia's at the moment? Oh really? Yeah, you know anything You know anything at all? Yeah pair of cheap jeans bucks Your paycheck a surprise every week Anyway Whoa, that's how much I get nice. No be more like oh No

Anyway so Johnny Cash never gets his brain fixed. Yeah, he stays his Manhattan Flash. Yeah He feels sad for the chicken, but then it's got like a rate. He's clearly a predatory record deal Yeah, and like from a from a hit like a psych I don't even know what the fuck a brain surgeon brains are some kind of mad site It feels like the doctor the Johnny Cash initially went in Did that I feel like they're all working together. Yeah, this Johnny Cash something to a doctor with a headache

Yeah, and the doctors like brains to rains to all you need to give it to me And then he's like you just wait in that room and then he calls his music producer friend And he's like, you know the chicken scam. We've been trying to pull for years. I'm doing it on Johnny Cash We got Johnny Cash's brain. Yeah, if I clearly my my brain is fine because the chickens do it all right I'm all fine for a chicken. Yeah, maybe my brain is enough will like power in it Yeah, maybe like you know how like a heart or whatever can only have so many beats Yeah, I mean, it's not an actual science, but it's like do you know about this? I mean like put your heart you get like a man is born with every heartbeat

It's like yes, it is bullshit But it's like I mean this is not the reason why Trump doesn't do exercise is because it's like the body is made of a certain amount of heartbeats. No, no, no. By the exercise it goes higher, and I will stop doing it. So... Because that's dumb as shit. That is dumb as shit. The vague...

It's not science, but it is like close to true because the whole thing is like the human heart beats so many times. But if you don't exercise, that means your resting heartbeat is higher so you're like going through Yeah, so the logic is like Okay, yeah, I will concede that it's not the dumbest shit possible But I don't know but it's like you're born you've got like when it comes to woo-woo shit Yeah, like pseudo science like every time someone says they go to a physio, I'm like, you're an idiot. Even though physios can't help, but I'm like, not a real doctor! Yeah.

Osteos? Are you fucked? Yeah, man. I thought physios were fine, but it's like osteos and chiro's that the fuck. Sorry. Osteos are, yeah, physios are okay. It's osteos that are- Physios, I'm like, yeah, that's alright. Although, sometimes doctors don't respect physios. I know someone that's currently fighting that battle. They're like, oh, you got an x-ray referral from your physiotherapist?

Yeah. Is it on your spine? No. Well, you can't claim this. And they're like, it's a refer- what? And they're like, sorry. Because the thing with an osteo is that they're like, you can't- We're a bone doctor. You can't, like, there's a million different bones in there. Well, there's not a million different bones. But there's lots of different bones and they're all doing different shit

Like they all you know what I mean? Like if you're if you're a spine doctor that's different to being like a you know Ankle doctor or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll see you when I cry Sorry to any physios that were hurt there in a moment. I yes, I meant Cairo and said fizzy. Yeah. Yeah, fair enough Yeah anyway So when I saw that heartbeat stuff was like shut the fuck up But then I read a little bit more into it. I was like it's like a really over simplification So you're thinking with the chicken I'm thinking basically like how that applies

Yeah, the brain is too old for the body, but the chicken body doesn't need that much brain So it's actually gonna make the brain live for a long long time What's an average chicken heart right? Well the brain live for a long long time. But the chickens... What's an average chicken heart? Good question. Well the brain... Hey Jackson, how much chicken hearts from Woolies? Yeah, how much is a chicken... Is it a bag of chicken hearts?

Bag of chicken hearts. How heavy is the bag? 100 grams? 100 grams? 100 grams? Kilo? Let me have a look. Let me have a look. 500 grams of chicken hearts. 500 grams of chicken hearts. 500 grams of chicken hearts 500 grams of chicken 500 grams chicken hearts from Woolies from Woolies 500 grams chicken hearts 10 bucks you Man I could get I could make some money off you, you fucker. You got the bag of chicken hearts here.

Three dollars seventy-five! Wow, there you go. A chicken's- A chicken heart is worth this! A chicken heart- a chicken's heart beat, uh- My god. Yes. A normal chicken has a resting heart rate of 200 to 300 beats per minute

What the fuck is stressing out those chickens now Jackson? Yeah, what is a human resting heart rate like what would be normal? Don't look at him come on 60 That's a lower. Yeah, okay, you nailed it. Yes I nailed it nails low. Yeah 60 is like a healthy 60 to 120. No, you've blown that out way too much 100 no, I think it's 60 day isn't it 60 to 80 is like a healthy resting I thought it was I thought 120 was the upper end 60 was the lower end. Yeah I mean I'm resting. I don't think so. I don't know dude. I think 120 is the start of exercise

60 to 100. Oh, it wasn't too far off. No don't pack yourself on the back there. Although 60 was right You look so scared though You understand I got a base level of not knowing what's going on. Yeah, well we're figuring that out now. Only now? No. This is just a really really hammer home that you are not psychic. Yeah, and it's also in revealing that you're not psychic, really really hammered home that you are never paying any attention to anything.

Yes, dude. Yeah, I didn't even want to be psychic, I just wanted to be a savant, you know? What the fuck? Like you like you drop pencils, I count them in a second like Rain Man. That's what I was looking for. Isn't? Okay. Wait, but.

To be a savant. Yeah. Yeah. Jack. Go on. How many cards? Like 10? 10 you say? It's not 10. I think it's 7. I don't know. Somewhere on top of each other. Go on, how many cards? Like ten? Ten you say? I think it's seven

I don't know, somewhere on top of each other So you say ten I say ten, you say seven Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten Eleven! Fuck! I'm the card, take me to a casino So, back to the episode So yeah

So yeah So yeah, Johnny Cash kind of takes it in his tribe at the end So yeah, Johnny Cash kind of takes it in his tribe at the end And he's like hey I don't pay no I don't pay any income tax Because you don't pay tax on money you steal And if you got money you should And if you got money you should order catch that Johnny Chicken show

And then he finishes the song And then he finishes the song andisturbed by saying the chicken in black. Nice nice nice. He stole any shtick as well. Johnny Chicken. So Johnny Chicken. This is another question but Johnny Chicken he is performing he's got a predatory record deal. He's doing fairs and concert dates all in up and down the line. Ten bucks a ticket. Is that

another part is that typical or is that like another predatory? You know, that feels cheap for a concept. For what? What does it feel cheap for? If Johnny Chicken, right, is filling the niche that previously Johnny Cash filled, if this is a world where I can't see Johnny Cash, but I see Johnny Chicken, who is as good as Johnny Cash and is basically the new Johnny Cash Yes, if you said that it would cost me ten bucks a ticket to see Johnny Cash live. Yeah, I will call you a liar

So I'm just wondering that thing though because like this is what 19 Well, I'm 1984 84 94. All right 30 dollars 57 cents. That's um, that's not that All right $30 57 cents that's um that's not that's not that far Yeah, okay, I mean like it's not a fucking if it was if it said hey fucking The chicken in blacks headline in Glastonbury, and it's $10 a ticket. Yeah, I went for glass I guess because that's a global nice people knew because if I said Rod Laver people like what the yeah Yeah, you'd say I guess also he's at fairs and stuff. So he's actually not doing yeah what Johnny Cash was do you know much like a local band show is mmm? Not really hmm Yeah 15 to 20 I'm in my savanti

Don't know how long it's gonna last Okay, okay. 15 to 25 would be like kinda normal. So 30 bucks or 35 bucks for a chicken who's doing Johnny Cash. I guess yeah, because it's not like, I was like, oh this is Johnny Cash now. In the public's mind. But actually that's not the case. It's like, oh Johnny Cash has died. You remember when Johnny Cash tried to rob everyone on stage?

Well he no longer performs, but obviously if you want to sort of you know He's a bank robber. Yeah, he's robbing banks. He's Manhattan Flash But it's sort of you know a sort of second prize You can't see the chicken in black much cheaper, but he is a chicken now where Johnny Cash's accent Mm-hmm where so does the chicken have Johnny Cash's accent? So what, you're saying the accent lives in the brain? Well, Johnny Cash, when he becomes Manhattan Flash, still talks like Johnny Cash. Yes. And the chicken is doing Johnny Cash's...

Is the chicken being like, walk the line? Or is it being like, walk the line? You know what I mean? Bok bok bok bok! Is the chicken talking? The chicken had no vocal cords. Are you going to watch a chicken cluck Johnny Cash song? Well, if this incredible genius man who is this mad scientist or mad doctor who's performing his brain surgeries, surely he's also giving it to chicken vocal cords. Okay.

I would assume, right? Probably stolen from the... well, because I still have them. So where's he getting them from? Where's the chicken's voice coming from? The dead guy? The Bangalore guy? Oh yeah, Manhattan Flash. There is a third body in this. Maybe he's got like, yeah, maybe he's like, oh, I'm gonna get the brain from Johnny Cash. I'm gonna lie and say that it's like, you know, he's a shit brain.

It's like his body's doing all right, his brain dead, whatever, crap itch. Put that in chicken. Now, I'll get the vocal cords, the neck, if you will, of like the Manhattan Flash, and put that in the chicken as well. So now he can talk. The chicken can talk.

Do you reckon Johnny Chicken thinks it's Johnny Black? No. I mean, well. Hi, it's Morgan from Off the Shelf and I'm here to tell you how my Google Pixel 9 helps me read more. Google actually gifted me this phone and now I use it nonstop.

The other day I was trying to remember the name of this book someone recommended and instead of spiraling into a 40-minute social media scroll I just asked Gemini on my pixel. What's that romantic book with a competition and a ghost helping her through the trials? The book you're likely thinking of is Phantasma by Kaylee Smith. Here's a breakdown of why it fits your description. It's like having that one friend who always knows what you're talking about. Learn more about the Google Pixel 9 at store.google.com. We are unsinkable. We are unsinkable dot com. Savantara, you said it. Do you think Johnny Bankrobber knows that Johnny Chicken stole Johnny Black's identity

but Johnny Black stole Johnny Bankrobber's identity? Allow me to say that again. That dumbfuck juice, it's tasty, I get it. I get it. Allow me to say that again. Can't you look at that? That dumbfuck juice. It's tasty. I get it. I get it. It's bad for me today. Do we think Johnny Chicken believes itself to be Johnny Cash?

No. But it has Johnny Cash's brain. But Johnny Cash is like, oh I'm Manhattan Flash. Does he believe he's Manhattan Flash? By the end of the song, yeah. By the end of the song he's like, the chicken's like, yes, I am Johnny Black. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh. Johnny Cash is singing this song. Yeah. Pre-appoint, he accepts, because he says it at the end, he's like, hey, if I come up and rob you in the street, it's just because I'm, he's like, I've got an illness now, basically.

Yeah, it's just like, I'm, he, because he, from what I can gather, is that he's like look I am NOT Manhattan Flash Yeah, my brain sometimes thinks it is yeah, and so I have this like almost compulsion To say I hey give me all your money This song kind of has the vibe of like when somebody's writing their final journal entry after being bitten by a zombie We're there, please if I bite you later on I'm sorry give me I'm not me. I'm not me anymore Yeah, the chicken will be like

Now okay, would you eat Johnny cash chicken? Yes, I eat Johnny Cash chicken sex? Yes, I'd eat Johnny Cash chicken, dude. You'd eat Johnny chicken? I'd eat Johnny chicken in a heartbeat. The chicken with a human brain? Cause it didn't always have one. So ethically I feel a bit better. I reckon putting a human brain in a chicken

would probably wreck the meat. It knows too much. Does knowledge make you not as tasty? I reckon it would. I mean, it stresses out cows what do you mean what could you, what do you mean

if I give, if I feed a cow, the gift of knowledge makes a cow stress? If I give a cow the apple of knowledge it's meat will get worse so you imagine, because the cow yeah, the cow is like I understand the original since yeah, well because the cow I mean like if a cow gets stressed the meats worse because it really is yeah

But what is it if I go up to a cat? What do you mean by? Into the form no no no no cow and I say yeah What do you think learning about the history of the world's gonna do to a cow? I? Think I don't think it's gonna go in its brain. It'll bounce right off. Yeah, you're proving his point though. Because if it does, yeah, if it bounces off and does nothing, whatever, but then you tell a chicken who has a man brain, hey, here's the history of them, and then it's like, oh, I know. If you gave a cow a man's brain and then gave it the knowledge, then it would get stressed. And then the meat would be bad. I'm applying

the same logic to Johnny Chicken. Okay, that's fair enough enough you know like all the drugs and alcohol is consumed on tour yeah oh great with a chicken but that's before he but yes all the drugs and alcohol he can see no no no no the Johnny chicken oh to be like like Johnny chickens going on tour to be a mode he's getting through a show without someone buying him a drink no sorry I would kill to be part of Johnny chickens pussy posse. Well sounds like you'd kill Johnny chicken for that They'll open the door to the dressing of the green room, and I'll be sucking him down It's like dead roast chicken, and they'll be like Johnny chicken you're on if Johnny chicken Johnny chicken so I consumed his brain

No, it was a man's breakfast no no Transformation or whatever it's fine. Yeah, I'm okay. I'm gonna go to the pool It's a chicken brain. Yeah, actually how many Johnny cash? So he's drinking, you know, we'll find out When I get up on stage, how many I know you're expecting Johnny chicken, but ladies and gentlemen, I ate him And his brain back stage. I don't know if you know this but say like party brains in your stomach. Yeah Zorbing it currently if you give me five minutes to just absorb Johnny chickens brain I'll be able to do the Johnny cash songs and Yeah, and you could go you'd say yeah Johnny cash

That was your chicken. No, you're Johnny man I basically Johnny cash again. Would you be cut as? Johnny man Johnny cash like the man Johnny cash yeah but with the brain of the flash and then to find out that like the chicken that you know had your brain then what it had to buy a band mmm oh I'd be up yeah cuz like I think this happens to me yeah deep down I'm like when that chicken dies I will get my brain back yeah someone's gonna kill my chicken And then if I get the news that someone's eating my brain, yeah, dude, I'm pissed off. Yeah I'm probably taking a gun to that man's house Yeah

I'm gonna kill you. Oh I've been waiting for this What do you think if you had your brain replaced? I mean, you know, this is a question. Your brain replaced with the bank robbers. Yeah. So I guess for you, you just want to rob banks sometimes. Yeah, right. Which, I mean, who among us?

Not much changes. Yeah, exactly. God, I'd be swell to rob this bank. I guess I'd go to banks more. Yeah, just to sit there taking the ambiance. I'm never really going to a bank, right? Because everything's now more. Yeah, just to sit there taking the audience I'm never really going to buy all right because everything down line of course that kind of stuff was I mean on banking It's like I'm a steal you wait a second. Yeah, calm down me. I guess with Johnny cash. He does try Yeah, yeah attempted bank robbery. Yeah, you go into a bank. You say I'm robbing this place. Yeah stick them up everybody

I'm a rob in this place for all of your money in the guitar case Yes, and then everyone's like what and you're like, oh Sorry, well, I got a robbers brain question. Do I have a gun on me? No, you get a guitar case so then I'm like So very sorry, but then they get the next words out of my mouth like no, I'm deadly serious Yeah, this I am I am Manhattan Flash I I'd have to at some point becauseumably I got nothing on me to this place. They would of course, but you know hit the alarms Police would call this would come I'd be arrested or whatever and then like within hope first of say nothing Yeah, nothing. I'll say nothing get a lawyer straight away. Don't talk to come

Then I'd uh, yeah expect the lawyer to be like I have had surgery I got the brain of a bank robber and it comes out and yeah And so then I you've heard of the dam robber and it comes out and so then I You've heard of the Zama chicken show? You know the chicken the death star? You know chicken the death star so like my brain so my I went to a doctor the doctor was like your body is outlived your Oh your brain, but my body's fine And he went yeah, I know

I know Yeah, yeah, you're not listening to me. Your brain Yeah. Yeah. Has outlived your body. But my body is doing fine. So my brain's alright? Okay, so you know when you got a father and son and the father outlives his son

Who's still alive? Aw, dude. Don't make me think about that. Who's still alive? Okay, okay. Why can't we still think about that. Who's still alive? Okay, okay, alright. I reckon we'd still do the podcast with Zamit Chicken. Yeah, if he's still the same brain, why not? Yeah, dude. That's awesome.

If it was a, I think it would be hard, mm. Trying to think, cause yeah, if it was Zamit's brain and a chicken we could do it. If it's a chicken's brain and Zamit's body, hard to do. Hard show. We could try. We could give it a crack. I mean we'd be truly some it if we weren't filming it I wouldn't attempt it because we're filming it be like with two boys trying to a bad podcast while their third friend is a chicken

Clucks and shits himself I think we could get a decent amount of you know internet sort of traction Yeah, I being like with the only podcast with a chicken in it. So like boys, I mean I understand I got the bank, like my brain is now and there, the chicken and I have the bank robbers brain, but we can make this a four man show. Oh my god dude, we should all do that. Yeah, yeah. We should all get the chicken.

Okay. We should all get the chicken. I like that too. So this is going to be two chickens. Two idiots and a joll. Two chickens. Where's your chicken? I noticed you don't have one. I think I'll probably just...

I'm not really just one man. I'm not here, there's just a chicken, but you don't know if it's really... It might just be a chicken. Jackson? Just like, yeah yeah two chickens looking at gas at you and two guys being like I could rob some banks man no I just swapped my brain with the

chicken I did a direct swap yeah just staring up into the distance then just slamming your face into the table Did Jack have the surgery? I don't know. Is this just Jackson and the chicken? Or did they swap brains? He has the scar but I don't know.

Just slamming your face repeatedly into the desk. Bam bam. Stop doing that. Huh? Oh I thought you got the surgery. No I just found this chicken. Yeah Eat seed off a table better yet I'm getting close. Oh you want to eat seed off the table chicken seem like having a good time when they do it Yeah, I like the way dogs eat off a table That's awesome.

Maybe I should learn to eat like that. Why? It seems fun, you know. But also their mouths are different. It's just like a part of like life's rich tapestry. Look at a dog's mouth. You're done. And now think about your mouth.

Yes. Now what could potentially be the difference for them opening their mouth like that? I don't think it would make it harder for me to eat off a table. Nah, you've got a weaker chin than a dog, so. And a dog, don't they've got slits all done? Yeah, but I can still think it would make it harder for me to eat off a table. Nah, you've got a weaker chin than a dog, so... And a dog, they've got slits all done.

Yeah, but I can still do it. So when they turn side on it, that's actually helping them. Well, if we do it... Well, yeah. It's not to do with their tongue. But I can still do it. If you put, say, a plum on the table... Mm-hmm, and you eat it through the side of your mouth?

Yeah. I think you'd struggle with a plum. I think... Kibble? Why why what would be hard I think I don't know just like a whole palm a whole But I can you raise or why fools I? reckon I reckon like pasta you'd be right with I could do pasta if you stop some spaghetti. Yeah, like like spirals. I think you down

I wish you wouldn't do that. Like a slop food, I think it'd be fine. Like a chili? Chili, oh I could do that with chili. You had chili for lunch. How was it chili for lunch? It was really nice. It was really good. Well, hey. I don't think the Johnny guy should have got that surgery. But I honestly think that

I don't know, he takes it in his stride pretty well. He does. But I do think that there is like a horrible, poisoned optimism within him that Johnny Chicken's gonna die and he'll get his brain back. Yeah, but I don't think that's gonna happen. Or does the optimism come from the brain? Like the brain rubber. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean Manhattan Flat- No, I'm sick of it!

That brain has lived and died, so he probably has a lot less fears than a regular man. Yes, that's true. You can't really fear death than it's happened before unless death feels Atrocious yeah, which probably doesn't feel great. Well it depends. Yeah I bet some death feels really good. How did they say um? He got gunned down. That would feel bad. Well it depends. He's just shot in the heart once. Yeah, yeah true We know he's not shot in the brain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, that must have been great to wake up Johnny cash

Bullets quarter as the wound a little bit though. I don't know if I don't think I mean no I think you want the bullet to come out the other side. I don't know that Yeah, well when when someone gets shot, yeah, I haven't seen this in the reals Yeah, I've seen it in television and movies. They usually are bleeding. If they are cauterized, they wouldn't. Well, yeah, true. And like also, I don't think it helps if you're shot and it's cauterized. You still have a hole in you. That's good. Are you imagining if, say, you had somebody lying down and you shot off their armhmm that it would cauterize the no

I thought it was like so the way I was imagining it was like it doesn't seal off everything It was just like sort of like it's awesome crisping the nerve. Yeah, so wouldn't hurt like I mean it would hurt Yeah, getting shot with a gun would Controversial opinion I'll say anything Shot with a gun would hurt. Controversial opinion. I'll say anything in this podcast. You're crazy. And yeah, I believe the big shot with a bullet will hurt. Mmm, brave, brave words. I was just thinking out loud maybe that because the bullet's hot, it might cauterize the wound a little bit.

Yeah, bullets are hot. It's for instance, bullets are fired by an explosion. Yeah, they're hot dude. That has to be hot. And they're quick and that probably makes a pot yeah I bet they fucking came yeah I said I know you're right how hot are they like what oh wait I know where this is going they

would be better to put your brain in than a chicken okay if you're gonna swap you're gonna do the swap yeah okay it's an obvious one but like a monkey yeah yeah I'd become I'm thinking you do this quite often Alan you get Ken Alan nice You do this quite often where you're given the opportunity to become a monkey right like Dex come up many times a plumbing the devil But you put yourself in the zoo And I want to know what the thinking there is when you could be in the wilderness

Okay, he's cared for then and also side no Jackson all right You've got you get to put your brain in a monkey right now. Yeah Where's a monkey the will the jungle? How you getting there? I assume the doctor would figure it Yeah, no see I'm like I know where you're in your mind is a deal with the zoo the only reason no It's just that I know that there is monkeys at the zoo No, it's just that I know that there is monkeys at the zoo And I just feel like the monkeys like you can't like if I want to my brain in a gorilla Yeah, yeah, the zoo's got a gorilla. Yeah, but the jungles you gotta find them I think basically I just keep picking the zoo because in my head of Mike had his other steps like I gotta find

Yeah, whatever. It's not just like I think it's easier to get your brain put in a gorilla in the wild. So, okay, let's imagine the doctor says we'll do the brain swap with Joel Dusha in this gorilla. They go to the zoo, they say, hey, Melbourne Zoo, we'd like to make a swap between, we have a client here, Joel Dusha. Hello. You have a gorilla, you know.

With George. The gorilla. We think we would love to. Sergeant George the gorilla. Startle George. That's what I said. Startle George. we would love to George the gorilla startled Startled George would love to put George's brain and subtle George's body. Oh The most startled gorilla in the world we'd like to make you knew this day was covered yeah, who's just practicing he is Psychic he's yeah, he's a savant as the zoo. What are you gonna say?

No Okay, now we go to Africa. No, and then we join up with some poachers Hey, don't kill that one. I'll give you ten bucks if I can just put my brain in Thank you Someone's gonna Joel Dusha skin rug in their mansion or whatever. At least I went to a better place. You became part of art, which is nice. That is nice. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I'd go gorilla.

No, I'd go cheetah. Interesting. Get to see what it's like to go fast. Yeah. I think, yeah, because that's the thing. If I'm going to be an animal, I want to... But coming at cheetah in my brain is associated with that fucking human nature song. The animal song? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I thought could run with the animals. Yeah, I don't know why every time I think Garden it's definitely savage go. Oh, yeah, I said human nature, but it's a garbage garden. I know hey, yeah Not actually and like he's naturally blonde

Okay, rock my shit finding is this song called affirmation maybe I'm what's the one where there's a music video this is the music video the one the guy Giovanni Robisi. Yeah, the he's he's he's in avatar. He's the guy I was on the stadium, but he plays a mentally challenged man. Okay in a movie Wait, and that's where I believe this song kind of like where they get a lot of their the clips and stuff from okay I'm music video Truly madly deeply. No, I knew I loved you. Isn't it something something? Something cannibal something like a cannonball not a cannibal

Okay, isn't it? The animals is it the animal song lyrics this will help ball The other sister the other sister Juliet Lewis. Okay. Wait, that's the movie or the soul. That's the movie other sister the other sister Juliet Lewis, okay. Wait, that's the movie or the song That's the movie the other sister Savage God and the other sister. Yeah Yeah, the animal song. Okay. I was right. Okay, that's the song I think about when someone says putting their brain in a cheetah. I love that

That's come up enough that you have like a history. I don't know why. Maybe cheetah from Beast Wars? Yeah. I mean, just being a guy that becomes a cheetah even though it's a robot. I think a cheetah is like one of the things to become. Yeah, I was thinking like, yeah, maybe also sort of like a beast?

Well, yeah, like, cause you wanna do something you can't do as a man. Yeah, a perigel would be good. A perigel falcon? A Greenland shark, cause they live for like 300 years. That's bad. I think that you've made the mistake of... Moving on. I feel like you've made the mistake of, yeah, you've picked animals that live for a million years and can do stuff that guys can't do, but they actually can't do that much stuff.

Yeah. Like what the fuck is a whale doing swimming deep cool eating krill swimming deep fucking other whales Dying and feeding an ecosystem beaching myself Beaching myself for like the thrill of getting taken back into the sea, you know to entertain myself How many times is a whale gonna do that before they're like hang on a second? Let's just put D&D in this one and brain blubber on the cars No, no, no, no, no, no

That's awesome that we fucked that up so bad that someone thought that was a good idea What did they think was going to happen? But no I can see the logic What you know, what if it had worked? No but like Cause I think in a way they just didn't use enough TNT Mmm If they use a lot You wanna go so much Like what? Cause I think in a way they just didn't use enough TNT. Hmm.

If they use a lot, you wanna go much bigger explosion. There's no way a lot. Is it part of the problem they used too much? I don't know. That looked into it. Well either, it was either too much or not enough. Really, they could have. Exactly. They should have gone one way or the other.

There is a sort of Goldilocks zone of blowing up a whale. Yeah. Cause if you blow, if we dropped, okay, hypothetical. We drop a nuke on a whale. Yeah, well you because if you blow if we dropped, okay hypothetical we drop a nuke on the whale Oh my god, no more whale damn right So there must be an explosion big enough that eliminates the whale but doesn't cause widespread destruction to the city around it Yeah, it's got it's just like my thinking like I just don't think they used quite enough time exactly We got to have like, you know, all right everybody I don't ever want to go and see like, you know, the whale get blowed up

Yeah, but if we could all just move back a bit. Yeah, exactly KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E kilos of dynamite and a military veteran was like hey what are you doing uh-huh 20 sticks would be plenty yeah that's 3.8 kilograms yes so they used are what so a lot more than they probably should yeah but I reckon if they had a bit more yeah they seemed like a little bit more like even more than yeah you want so much it goes yeah rates the way because all that happened was it obliterated the whale but then whale chunks fell on. Yeah, exactly That's the problem. What did what do you think that we're trying to do with the dynamite? Just obliterate the whale make it so you want a crater. What actually were they? Now that we thought you say it out loud. I'm thinking about it. Yeah

Disintegrate the way Possibly thought was gonna happen. Yeah whales so whales explode some because they get full of gas. Yeah So they're gonna preempt this we'll do it ourselves Like safe burning or whatever. Yeah And they were like if we put TNT in it we can blow the whale apart in a way where it's controlled Yeah, also so that like they anticipated flesh. They didn't expect to disintegrate the whale I like flesh is gonna go out, but it'll be blown into small enough chunks that scavenger animals can eat it Okay, so we're gonna blow it up so that it doesn't by natural gas because when a whale natural gas blows up

Oh my god, yeah the stench and it be out like the meat goes everywhere Yeah, we blow it up a little bit. We can control that. It's a smaller blast zone The gas got put somewhere to say we can put it back in the ocean. Yeah, right. Yeah, but in smart thinking instead they used 450 kilos they actually did take the Jackson Bailey approach experts like hmm 3.8 kilos and Jackson says no out of zero You telling me you see a whale yeah, and I'm like we got a ball up this whale and someone's like you could use like Three grams. Yeah

That seems like that's not enough this guy's killers are three grams three kilos 450 yeah, so three point eight kilograms okay, so what we're gonna want to do is times that by 100 Another 70 kilos Think about it come on you fucking moron. A whale is big. Are you an idiot? This guy's just looking to blow a hole in it. This guy thinks we're gonna use like a little handful of dynamite. Yeah.

Eek! Ludic, dude. What a big moron. We gotta, you know, we gotta really blast this one. We gotta really blast it. Think about how big's a whale. Yeah, exactly. It's fucking huge.

It was 7,000 kilos. Right? Dude dude 7,000 kilos. Are you kidding me? I? I'm using that veteran in the face. I am plugging every hole Not have our best interests at all you know then what do you when? What blubber is raining on the surround? Yeah, you know in that you know in like like linear tunes What do you do when Blobber is raining on the surroundings? Yeah, you know in like, like, like, like, Liny tunes, where it's like, you know, they get Daffy Duck maybe, maybe,

maybe it's in Liny Tunes, like when he's like, Daffy Duck is gonna have like, you know, 40,000 cigarettes in his mouth. Yeah. I want that, but dynamite and that whale's making it. That's what I want. Yes, dude. I wanna angle it in a way where I think maybe the blast

will shoot into the ocean. Yeah. Yeah, it's Yes, like a cannon. Yeah That's what I'm thinking and I'm laughing. I'm Guy like you wouldn't believe Way on me on my face next time we set the whale on fire How many sticks of dynamite yeah, would you throw at a car to blow it up Alright I have unlimited like a let's say unlimited dynamite Yeah, you ask her as much or as little as you want

You have to use an appropriate amount to blow up a car I've got a number of money. I'm gonna use I'm use cards If you get like a same kind of like level of what I think as well Okay How many sticks yeah, how yeah, how many sticks of dynamite would you like? Quite a few I want to say like a hundred to a hundred and fifty I was gonna go with 10 just 10 just 10 150 wow

You blow up the car and maybe the neighborhood Yeah, cuz I was gonna say My head yeah, and like when you see dynamite in action like if you threw if you just put one stick of dynamite underneath Well I was just saying that like a whale a whale weighs the equivalent to like seven cars yeah If they'd come to me I'm doing a my ball Doing like a car bomb or something one stick of dynamite my gonna go on a list anyway How many probably my to block FBI dot gov? Maybe throw IRA in there under controlled, one kilogram of TNT can destroy,

and then in brackets, or even obliterate, a small vehicle. One kilogram of TNT. What's one kilogram? Okay, so 20 sticks is 3.8 kilos. Okay, okay, so a kilogram. A car is gone, dude. 150, that car never existed

Okay, I'm just sure the memory of that car and a half sticks Jackson's using a hundred and few no one even remembers there was ever a car The neighbor was gone dude. I've used so much that the neighborhood explodes and the two neighbors on either side just seal up over Never existed I say what was I doing? See how many sticks was that was it three is no no no five 5.2 is one kilo of dynamite. Yeah, okay, okay, and Jackson used 150 yeah 10 would have been overkill.

Yeah, 10 would have been overkill. But you can see how the whale situation is going. Because a car is small, a whale is big. Kyle, you think about cars? Think, think. And if I'm going 150 for car, dude, you should show me a whale and go, how much dynamite? Go, uh, one, two million.

Probably think you're like, one, two million, something like that. How much dynamite you got? I How much dynamite you got yeah All yeah Probably all one one million to me. Oh wait. No. I did fucked up Matt So where do they put the dynamite as well because I would honestly have put in its mouth and mouth and asshole probably mouth an asshole probably. You would ruin that whale carcass. Damn dude, I would try and like yeah shoot it off with a cannon. That seems smart, like you would

at least direct the blast into the sea. Why would they do it? They just dug a hole in it and put it all in? They might have just piled it around the outside. That's insane. That's amateur hours. Idiots. In the mouth, make a cannon, fire it out the sea. Or in the mouth, in the tookus.

Yeah, fire it out the sea. Either way, we're firing it out the sea. Why didn't they just drag it? That's what, I mean I guess it's big. Heavy. Yeah. Drag with what? Rope? Boats?

What are you, to where? The ocean. The ocean. Have you been to a fucking beach? Yeah. How do you think a whale gets beached? And what do you think beach? Yeah? Yeah? How do you think of whale gets beached and what do you think a boat has to do you tie a rope around the tail? I know the end around a boat. Oh, yeah a rotting whale carcass a rotting whale carcass imagine this this is the way Where you're a kid hang a tail?

Carcass the tail comes yeah Time have to tear apart the whale so we're gonna get a chainsaw. We got a we're gonna comes off. Yeah. Well you slowly I guess. Over time I have to tear apart the whale. So we're gonna get a chainsaw. We gotta cut up this whale. How do they get rid of whales now? They burn them. Do they? With dynamite? No. Just gasoline on the fucking blob eyes? Fire alarm?

Gasoline on the motherfucker? Yeah they just fucking pause and fucking... Let it burn. Gasoline? Hell yeah. Some fire starters on that bad boy? Douse that shit, cook some sausages. Have a beach party, dude. Play some Luau music. Yeah, dude.

Cook up that whale. Why they just do, why they burn? Why don't we make like a delicious whale stew? Yeah, it seems like there's so much we could be doing with these whales. I think eating whales is. Not great. Vash? But if it's already beached. Yeah

That's fucked up, but if the whales dead what's a morgue got a lot of dead bodies And what they're already dead hey if you're an ethical can of all this human morality is gotten in the way of eating A whale is also's human morality is gotten in the way of eating a whale is also against human morality I don't know, but it's not just no different to eating a cow. How is eating a whale against human reality? We use the whales like crazy. Yeah, and then we decided it was bad. Yeah, it's bad to hunt way Yeah, if a whale is already dead, it's good to eat. Well, you're gonna bury it You'd rather set it on fire You're gonna cremate the way you said

You'd rather set it on fire. You're gonna cremate the whale. Get some use out of this dead whale. You're gonna cremate that delicious whale meat maybe. But there's a difference, I guess, between a guy and a cow. There's no difference between a whale and a cow, other than that one is endangered and one isn't. And one is factory farmed and one isn't. And clearly this whale endangered itself.

Exactly. Whoa! Actually I was wrong. They stopped burning the whales. And one is yeah, and clearly this this whale endangered itself exactly Burning the whales okay, it's probably for the best they started giving them burials. They're burying whales Why there's so much valuable amber grits in these whales Was the only answer that was gonna satisfy you be like oh, yeah, we don't blow them up with dynamite anymore. We just let everyone eat some. A little bit. Yeah. That seems like the smartest move. Give them to some gulls. Well, isn't it that whale's actually disgusting as a meat? Yeah, I think so.

It doesn't taste good. Drag it out to sea. Make dog food out of it. Whatever. I was going to drag it out to sea, then like, you know, make it the whale fall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feed the fucking crabs. Yeah, crabs got no like taste buds or whatever.

You should be able to eat, even if it's an endangered animal. I'll make the whale fall yeah, yeah, yeah feed the fucking crabs Yeah, crabs got no like taste buds or whatever you should be able to eat even if it's an I'll make that claim yeah I think that's probably true even if it's an endangered animal if it dies of natural causes you should be able to eat it I agree, but then you're gonna be like this this bald eagle fell out of the sky with the whole world of causes I don't know. And I got a bloody rock in my hand.

And that eagle has a caved in skull. I'm natural. I don't know what happened to such a delicious bird. Look. Yeah? Google cannot be trusted anymore because we have wrecked the internet. Yes. But, at the moment, there's apparently a few different disposal methods of a beach whale.

None of them are, let's eat them. Okay, fair enough. I know Google is dog shit, but can I... Okay, Google, can I eat a beached whale? Yeah, my Google heard that, certainly. What does it say? Health risks. A beach whale carcass should not be consumed. Yes. In 2002, 14 Alaskans ate muck tuck whale blubber.

Oh my god. From a beach whale resulting in 8 of them developing botulism. With 2 of the affected requiring mechanical ventilation. I guess if you're quick. Because the problem is that a whale carcass is a carcass. It's been there a long time Flies have been laying their eggs in it and shit Health concerns whale meat can contain high levels of mercury and

You can get mercury madness. That's exciting. Hey Taking whale carcasses to landfill is generally seen as the optimal dispersal method Wow imagine imagine imagine being the the tip worker at that day That's so they just come in in a very like are you yeah, and then you're there being like oh, yeah Yeah, it's a whole whale. Yeah. It's a whole goddamn whale. Yeah. Yum.

Okay, so maybe- Oh, that's crazy to learn. Yeah. You shouldn't eat whales. Yeah. You eat a whale full of mercury. You look sad. Deflated.

Yeah. Defeated. I am defeated. When a whale dies, it becomes a stinky fish for sharks. Dude, go to Japan. You can buy whale there if you want. Well, I don't want to eat it that's been hunted. Well, you don't know. That's unethical.

No one tell you. Well, I can guess. That's unethical. Well, I can guess. That's unethical. But if it had just beached itself. So you'll find, well, you know. Just because we just have way too much mercury now, so eating any sea meat is bad, probably.

Yeah, dude. Fish will kill you. Yeah. Mm. He's right. Dude. Fish will kill you. Fish will basically poison you.

Fish will kill you, yeah. Pufferfishes are okay to eat now, because they have the same toxicity. Actually less poisonous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, if my brain went into a chicken and a bank robbers brain went into my brain, I'm fine with it Yeah, me too. I just work with the chicken. Yeah I think the chicken's gonna do the chicken's gonna do better things with my brain. Yeah I think we would have at least now we've got a good like cuz now we don't have the body of the bread You know the bank world. Yeah, but now like the two of us could work Yeah, yeah wonderful cuz you close out the episode. Let me see if I miss a Vaughn to guess how long this episode right? Yep One hour ten minutes so close our seven fuck

And that's what the fucking around at the start though, so if you just want to count the actual episode you were further off Yeah, sorry, dude. You're dumb as shit and on that note. I've been Joe I've been Jackson also been Joel as this has been another episode of plumbing the death star and Again, yeah, Johnny cash. You wrote a fucking crazy stupid song, but I rated yeah Yeah, you've whiffed why do you do that song dude? I don't know dude. Why did he do that song? I don't know It's got a music video and everything it's fucked up. Should your boss be allowed to do this? Yeah, I don't care Bye! Bye! See ya! Hi, it's Morgan from Off the Shelf, and I'm here to tell you how my Google Pixel 9 helps me read more.

Google actually gifted me this phone, and now I use it nonstop. The other day, I was trying to remember the name of this book someone recommended, and instead of spiraling into a 40 minute social media scroll I just asked Gemini on my pixel. What's that romantic book with a competition and a ghost helping her through the trials? The book you're likely thinking of is phantasma by Kaylee Smith. Here's a breakdown of why it fits your description It's like having that one friend who always knows what you're talking about Learn more about the Google pixel 9 at store.google.com Pretending I had it all together a need to escape my circumstances about. Learn more about the Google Pixel 9 at store.google.com.