Plumbing the Death Star - What Would You Do in Westworld? (Feat. Adam)

Episode Date: January 22, 2017

In which our heroes take the train into Sweetwater, drink copious amounts of whiskey, and expand their horizons as we ask what would you do in Westworld. Adam decides he'd be a monster and a hero, Jackson knows he'd get suckered in and die in the desert, and Zammit just wants to know if he can let his teenage son fuck a robot. So choose your hat, holster your revolver, and beat the shit out of Teddy. they're just milk robots anyway.Want to help support the show? Just head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and you can!In Sydney in Feb? Why not come see us live! Book your tickets here; http://edgetix.com/.Want to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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do with an alive hat to enter the draw. Now that I've had time to think about it, I'd ask the hat what it wants to do, because I just feel that the hat isn't being listened to, and I want to do everything in my power to encourage it to follow its dreams.

Win is announced on Wednesday, and we'll be seeing some of your handsome faces very soon. Hey everybody, and welcome to this week's episode of plumbing the death star where we ask the important questions like what would you do in westworld i would just get suckered in by every single quest available yeah i was gonna say like the the concept of fucking my way and shooting robots in the head doesn't seem that appealing yeah like for a bit it'd be good for a bit but if i'm clearly that wealthy because it's a lot of money and i'm i'm there for the quests

i'm there for the fun times i'm there for the the, like, let's... What's that, old man? You've got your prospecting down in whose country? There's treasure in the hills. Sir, you have me sold. Goodbye, whoever I came with. Yeah. I'm going to... I'll see you down the track. Yeah.

Like, I don't think I'd do any of the... What we tend to see a lot of the... Well, I think I'd do some, but the way I'd treat it would be that would be what I did in my downtime. Yeah, that'd be like a reward. Like, I got I'd do some, but the way I'd treat it would be that would be what I did in my downtime. Yeah, that'd be like a reward. Like, I got that treasure. You, um... Everybody wants to have sex with me now. Uh, yes.

Do they have to exchange money with those prostitutes? That's a good question. It doesn't seem like it. It doesn't seem like it. And also, I guess, like, if they ask for money, you could shoot them in the head. Oh, wait. Treat it like GTA. All right.

For a little while, I would do that quest thing. Then I know what I'd do. Yeah. Because like the hosts are always like, you know, just kind of compliant to whatever the guests do. I'd see how many hosts I could just get following me. Yeah.

That's good. Make a convoy. I'd just see like what limits I could push. If you got to pay money, when I'm done with the prostitute, I'm like, no, I think we're in love. Just like to, you know, see where that goes. You know what I'd do?

Yeah? I would start a theatre. Oh. And put on my own terribly written plays of, like, my favourite films of, like, that era, you know? That's good. Like, 2050s, whatever it is. And it's like, okay clementine and slim shooting

gym come here we're gonna produce a film or a play called a star war well i like that and i like the idea of getting most of the town to do that and interrupting other yeah other patrons good times because i'm also very like I'm curious because then it's like, okay, so this is going to be set in a galaxy far, far away. What's a galaxy? Oh, let me explain a quick galaxy. That doesn't sound like none to me. No, but that's only for, like, would you... This is a play. This is a play.

Alright, alright. Would you be able to explain space to a host? Uh, I reckon... Surely they're not blocked out of learning about space. No. Surely you could just be like, look, what we're doing is, it's make-believe, it's fantasy. You know, it's like, we're going to do a space thing, and then you just talk about, like, sci-fi, but be real weird with it.

I'm sure if you like science fiction, they'll get it. Because how fucking annoying would it be for you to come in and be like, awesome, I'm going to go do some sweet Westworld-y times. A play's happening. Where are all the town folk? They're all rubbed into it. What's going on over here? Somebody's making them watch Star Wars.

Would they have to wipe their minds? They're doing Zama's recreation of a Star Wars. If a host learns of a fiction, like, is that the kind of thing you think they'd wipe from the, I mean, i know the host gets wiped why what's wrong with them no one's star wars yeah that's uh no i think they just reset them to a default position that's true they just have to reset it so i think i have to pay a lot of money to be to make my opus like like we know we know that they go through the same process

every day if they don't do that... My question would be, for Westworld, they do go through a whole process or whatever, they get kind of wiped and they go to a point. What's their length of time? Because if I've paid in to be there for a month or whatever, does that mean there's a month-long storyline happening? I think it varies.

I think that, like, Delora... I think if you're a small-time NPC, you probably like delora i think if you're like a small time npc you probably get a day but if you're a big time npc months but for example like i i go in i say hi to the brothelona mave and i'm like whatever off we go have a lovely chat and i'm like okay make something happen so it's like part of my story but then i get roved in by a prospector he's like oh come with me for a bit. I go there for like two, three days. I come back to town and then Maeve's like, hey, welcome stranger.

I'm like, no, we met. Maeve, we met. Do you not remember? And if they're just like, no, we didn't, I'd be annoyed. I might sue. I might be like, that took me out of a gaming experience. They might have an explanation for something. Or, like, maybe the robot can remember that you are a previous guest or something like that. Ah, yeah, but it might just be like, remind me of your name there, sweetie.

Yeah, something like that. There might be a way around that. I suppose. But I'm with you. I'd be like, immersion broken. I refuse. Bang, bang, bang. Everyone is shot.

Oh, fuck. How annoying would it be if, like, I'm in there trying to create my opus. You're trying to, like, do all your finding your treasures, and Adam's like, I'm gonna shoot off the starting area. God, everyone. See? Spawn

camping. Oh, fuck. Just wait for them to come out of the lift, and then bang, bang, bang. I paid money. can't stop me. I reckon griefers get kicked. Yeah, because like, so say I've gone with the prospector. I've helped a prospector who fell in the mud. He's like, I've got a treasure to pay you back.

I'm off in the hills. Somebody else, another patron comes along, bang, kills my prospector. I'm like, that's my quest. And now I'm in the hills. Like, can I punch? Well, I guess my quest. And now I'm in the hills. Like, can I punch? Well, I guess I can. I can punch him in the face. I feel like something like that happens, then Central or whatever,

like, send him another NPC to help the story along. Another prospector? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another study. Like, I'm his brother or, you know, someone you were looking for. If I get, oh, I'm his brother, I'm going to be like looking for if i get oh i'm his brother i'm gonna be like this is god like they'll do something i think what would happen almost like you know when they pause the thing and they come in it might just pause they come in

you'd get like one of the security guys you're like look hey i'm so sorry for you look jerry stop shooting npcs like it's fine i know you're paying this but mr mr bailey's here for uh he's paying for a good so look i understand how you want to play this, but Mr. Bailey's here. He's paying for a good. So, look, I understand how you want to play this game, but please, can you please respect the others? We're so sorry, Mr. Bailey. Don't worry. I'm not terribly happy about this.

I know. Look, we'll give you a discount. They must be giving out discounts. Well, I was going to say, like, surely. No, I'm sure they fix it, like, by giving you another NPC. Okay, so scenario. Scenario. I'm up in the mountains with old Tommy the Prospector.

Yeah. You're like, I'm just shooting. You see him. You're like, whatever, got him. And then I'm like, what the fuck, Adam? And then another person comes up and they're like, hey, that was my brother. You shoot them. How many people are going to die?

I think at a certain point, I'm sure I get kicked from the park. Can you get kicked kicked? But that's the thing. I think you absolutely can. I don't know. But you're paying so much. I don't think that matters. If you're paying $50,000 a day, he's paying $50,000 a day.

You're not going to get kicked. You're going to be a strong worded, like, okay, you please. What they'll try and do is narratively send you off. They might try that first. Narratively maybe move you to a bloodbath. But I'm sure there's like a fucking contract you sign where you're like hosts are fair game

but guests don't fuck with each other. But you're not fucking with him, you're just fucking with his time. I am fucking with him. I'm fucking with his good time. Yeah. I feel like kicking is such an extreme. They might just relegate you back to stock. You don't want to relegate a troublemaker back to where people bring their kids.

You'd put him out to the outskirts. That was actually going to be my point. Like, fuck, if I wanted to grief, I would stay in the starting area, wait for someone to come off the train with their two kids or whatever, and I'm like, now it's time to literally rape and pillage. I know, like the trauma you could cause to the incoming families. Yeah, because it's not over 18, is it? Those are the sort of fucking people

you need to worry about. Yeah. Well, yeah. It isn't over 18. That's silly. Yeah, that is stupid. What I always figured is, because they always say that the further out,

the worse it gets, that if you're looking for that kind of time, you might be able to be like, can I have the train not drop me off at Sweetwater? Can I have it drop me off at the little Spanish town? However. No. No.

I think we've got to start in that. Yeah, because also that Sweetwater gets shot to shit. There's also a brothel right there. It gets shot to shit once every how often? Yeah, well, true. Well, no, because Hector comes into town. Yeah, no, I'm saying, but how often does that happen? Yeah.

And are they like, okay, no kids, send them now? Well, no, because there's like a scene where they're talking about it and they're like, oh, there's kids. Okay, funnel thing-o to thing-o. If I was redesigning or designing Westworld, it would be kind of like a rating system. Yeah, okay. So like things you can and cannot do.

So it's like, you know uh the starting area is g you can't shoot a gun go before they're out pg m mar whatever yeah yeah so it's like even though like there's the brothels or whatever maybe it's like an age restriction to go into the brothel so it's like an r rating into the brothel but you have to be over 18 because i don't want a kid being like i want to go in there and you're like, no. It could also be a nice old parent who's like, come on, it's your 16th birthday. You're going to fuck a bot. I feel like that's part of the waiver you must sign as well,

where you're like certain rules around children. But would the robots fuck an underage? Oh, God. Because if you're like, look, that's not right. They're not human. They don't have any whatever. Like you're some belligerent ockadad. A belligerent ockadad.

They're not human. They're not human. I made my money in the mines. I lost my virginity when I was 13. You're saying that I'm not fucking worth it. Yeah? I'll fucking sue you into the fucking ground, Bella. My little kid.

Fuck that robot hole. Presumably the robots are just designed to be like, no. But, yeah, hopefully. But then you get a gun. Nah, do it. Yeah, I guess. Westworld is a very problematic place. If the robot is programmed not to do it, pointing a gun at it isn't going to fucking...

But they're programmed with semi-free will. They're not programmed with semi-free will. That accidentally happens during the course of the show. Semi-free will is an accident that everybody should have seen coming, but no one did. Somehow.

But yeah, so probably you'd point the gun at it and just be like, I don't know what you're saying. Then you'd kill it. Then you'd be as a belligerent... Then you'd sue. I'd be very mad at the part. You'd sue, but then you might just go to jail for chin. Yeah, I feel like know what you're saying. Then you'd be as a belligerent. I'd be very mad at the park. I came with one intention.

Yeah, I feel like you can't sue them for not breaking the law. It's lawless. But look, if you can shoot a robot, you can do whatever you want to that robot. The robot has no rights.

That's fine. Yeah, no, no. I'm saying not saying the robot has rights. I'm saying the little boy that you're trying to fuck over has rights. But like, what is yeah, but it's sort of like, it's the same thing as still a crime. They're not like flying out to international waters. But no, what's what's the legal thing that's going on there?

Wherever Westworld actually is. No, but what is the legal crime? Because it's not having sex with a minor. but it's like giving a kid a dildo yeah no indecency it's like you can't have your oh it's not a sexual crime if my 16 year old is walking around fucking nude or whatever

it's indecency is it? is it? if your 16 year old son is in like... Let me pose you another... And I close the door, no one is there. Let me pose you another question. He's basically just joking off into a robot.

Let me pose you another question. Can I sell pornography to a 10-year-old? Ah, there it is. Well, that's what I mean. It lets you, I can't. There you go. It's just not... What if little Timmy goes in there by himself?

Well, then that's just an awful thing that happens. Presumably. We have to have a conversation about it. But tell me, if you're 16 and you're at Westworld, that's on your mind. You're like, how can I get... It's like when you're 16 and you're like, how can I steal a porno?

Yeah. And if you're 16, you're like, how can I feel that titty? Well, yeah, all right. That's fucking on that kit. I guess. Yeah. I don't actually know the point you're trying to make here. We've come so far from what would you do in Westworld.

Or have we come so far from what we do in Westworld? Joel, zam it! I'm just saying, Westworld's got some problems, and I would definitely have made it you know, age restriction because there is problems. It's too lawless. But what I would definitely have made it, you know, age restriction. No, I agree. Because there is problems.

It's too lawless. And it is. But what I would do. Yes. Is I would try and see if I could fast track technological evolution. I would learn exactly how to make a car. I'd be like, let's do it in a day. Let's make an automobile out of the pieces we've got here in Sweetwater. I bet you'd struggle to make a car out of fucking Western-style technology.

Well, if... Okay, so if you're... Well, clearly none of us are engineers. No, but I would make an effort to. If we would come in with our engineer buddy, right? Yeah. And then we'd try and find the smartest man or woman in Sweetwater. Yeah.

Because I'm assuming we're repeat customers. Yeah. I assume we have as much time as we need. And so, yeah, you'd be trying like, no, build this. Yeah, no, I'd be like, hey, let's give this a go. We start building a car. I'm like, don't you forget how to build a car. Next time I come in, I'm like, we're trying for a plane.

Let's see if we can fly, motherfuckers. Do I know you partner? I wonder if I can take the car home with me I made it It is mine Made with other people's material It's still mine My invention, I invented the car

But not even necessarily like a car Just stuff If I could gradually Say what's the maximum amount of time you can spend in Westworld? Well, I don't know.

I guess the man William can spend as much as a part owner. There is a, and I'll grab it because I think it'll be very useful for us.

On the Delos website, there's like an AI that you can ask questions about Westworld. Because I think that'd be fun to have, like, for example, can I be a store owner

because I'd be like I want to set up shop for like you know I just want to have I want to be an NPC or I want to pretend I'm an NPC I think that could be

kind of fun I think that for a bit would be alright pretending to be one of the hosts would be fun fuck yes just be a host

yes train room every morning I wake up go find that guy who bumps people coming off the train, fucking shank him in a back alley, get his coat on, then I walk out, bump into someone fucking coming off

the train, and I want to be super aggressive so that they actually shoot me, and when they shoot me and it doesn't kill me, I want to look them in the eye and say, it's happening. Oh, yes. doesn't kill me i want to look them in the eye and say it's happening oh yes convince oh just terrifying everyone i thought you're gonna be and bump them be really super apologetic and then take them on an adventure oh that's good as well though yeah you're like where are you going it's fine don't worry we're going this kind of stuff and then when they get inevitably fed up and try to shoot you in the back of the head,

you're like, excuse me? You motherfucker. And then just turn like, oh, we're sold. Although I might enjoy helping new time people if I've spent enough time. I might enjoy being like, hello, I'll be your guide. I'm an actual human. Blah, blah, blah. Shit like that.

Or, on the flip. So, if I wanted to indulge white Hat Adam, that's what I'd do. If I wanted to indulge Black Hat Adam, I would basically Wyatt that shit. I'd live in the forest and attack NPCs. Like a wagon comes past, I'd take them, fucking skin them, put them up on a tree or something. Yeah, I think that they'd have to be like, yeah, what would you do as a white hat? What would you do as a black hat?

Because clearly you're going to have, you want to do as much as you can. You're going to get everything done eventually. Like my issue, in quotation marks, of like, by the way, spoilers for Westworld, the TV series. Yeah, I was going to say, it was spoiler heavy, but that's fine. What spoilers have we said? Not much yet, but like. Yeah.

It's coming. It's coming. But like my biggest issue is that it's gone on for like 30 odd years like three decades and it seems very similar in terms of storyline what you can do yeah i don't think the story's changed much if at all yeah in 30 years dolores is doing the same fucking thing for 35 years mave has done two things spoilers but yeah mave has done two things she's um uh been a mother and then a brothel owner and that seems to be her two storylines and that's it so like it seems that i yeah it seems very stagnant however if they didn't change a lot i'm guessing there's so

much storylines that you'd almost want to experience both of like all of them or as much as you could but then also um do them both ways so like you know you're going this is my you know this is you want to fight against hector and you want to fight with this is my uh uh like this is my jedi run and this is my sith run you know what i mean yeah so i think yeah so i try and the thing is i think there'd be so much to do because i'd be trying to do every single quest that i could and be like let's just go and do as much as we can and then you're like i'll do it again but evil and it's like oh now i'm gonna have fun times and like see how much like weird random stuff i can do like make a theater if it's like anything like when i play games normally actually i think what'll happen

is i'll do a white hat run and be like okay now my black hat run and i'll start but i'll be like white hat yeah enough yeah i uh like you know when you grow to like a character it's hard to just kill them no i i agree i think i could do it of course i know you could like i'm playing uh i i think you'd be the opposite you'd struggle to do a white hat run i think you would i'd be like i'm very bored of this treasure hunting prospector bang bang bang i don't think you need to worry about me taking out your prospector you need to worry about you slitting their throat shoot him in the head be like i'm in the mountains i don't know where i am but yeah you know yeah i'm the same like i'm playing a game called

tyranny at the moment you can do evil or good and I'm trying to be evil but man is it hard it's hard because you go to like the game inherently wants you to like the characters so there's just one thing where it's just like I know that this is like an NPC that could join my party and like they fuck with me and it's just like I haven't joined up with them yet and then it's like

the option is like oh please if you save me or spare me I'll join your party and you're like either yes or like slit, yes, or like, slit her throat. I'm like, hmm, slit her throat. Sheet. Oh, he did it. Damn, I feel bad. But no, yeah, yeah, I feel the same.

I'd have to do evil first, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd have to. Unfortunately, for some reason, I can't find... Basically, the chatbot's name was Aiden. And it was like a chatbot, and you'd type in questions and you'd get the answer, but for some reason I can't find it. So, oh well name was aiden and it was like a chatbot and you'd type in questions you'd get the answer but for some reason i can't find it so oh well i'll start hunting for easter eggs be fun oh yeah oh definitely because it's caught on a tree somewhere like uh no easter eggs here but like again they'd be really fun to be like oh you know if you did

this and you talked to this and you said these code words. Fuck, man. Like, the guys would be so fun. Fuck, you know what I'd enjoy doing? Because surely, maybe if you catch it early enough or something like that, because it feels like a lot of times in the show, the people who are there are not being monitored, or at least not constantly being monitored. Yeah. I'd enjoy setting up my own story. Oh.

Because, like, also quite obviously evidenced, the park doesn't get cleaned properly every time correct so i'd go in and like try to make my own story for someone to follow how would you do what would your story i think it'd have to be a um like just a yeah like a note quest because i don't have access to the scripts of the park. You'd have to write your own notes. You'd have to just carve shit in places. How easy is it to convince some of the

robots to be on your side? Yeah, but then they get wiped. So you'd have to go back again, constantly again and again and again. Because it'd be fun to do that kind of stuff. Hey, by the way, buddy, if anyone asks you about this, I'm over there. Well, just send them this way. Yeah, it'd be fun to try and kind of stuff. Like, hey, by the way, buddy, if anyone asks you about this, I'm over there. Well, just send them this way. Yeah, it'd be fun to try and, like, mod it yourself.

I think what would happen is a lot of times when I'm finishing my run and I come back out, they're like, oh, lost another gun in a set of clothes, have you? I'm like, yeah, just keep losing them because I'm like, you know, using them as evidence around the park, burying shit. Like, oh, there was a fight here and then i buried like six guns that i take in over the course of a year there yeah it could be fun but yeah i think i just it'd be i'd just be quest happy i think i'd have to be i i don't see how going into that and this is the one thing i didn't really understand in like hbs westworld is just how fucking horny everyone was like i get

yes fucking is great everybody yay for for fucking but there's there's a time where it's like you can fuck outside of surely they have like sex bots in the real world well that's what i'll be i was thinking well no because like all the westworld robots are real secret they're not letting you in like maybe that's why you know they're like there's a bigger game here we don't care maybe they just want to make sex bots. Maybe that's the end goal. Maybe you're right. Maybe they're bone bots.

It just seems that everyone in Westworld, the biggest problems of Westworld, of the park, was that they just keep hiring people that want to fuck their bots. Well, yeah, that's a separate issue entirely. How much? As an aside, though, how good at fucking are these bots if, like, you're going to risk your job? I feel like if I were designing these bots, I would design them to be literally the best lay that you could get.

No, all right. No, I might risk my job. That's probably fair. Mouth like a funnel with a puffer fish on the end. Jesus Christ. with a puff official yet. Jesus Christ. But yeah, I guess they have to be a mate.

Because even like some of the head honchos, the bosses are like fucking the Hector and all the others. Everyone's boning the robot. It's like frowned upon. It's a massive HR issue that entire place.

I am wondering, like say, you know, the makers of like other like big sex toys in our world, like say the Sibian, you know that thing where it's just like a thing you sit on yeah yeah are they trying to like the factory workers just like you know grabbing them and just take this one to the back for a bit of a sneaky go and

uh for maintenance and yeah i i i feel like that's a cry yeah i feel like they would not last well in that job. They'd be like, you're fired. But I think with Westworld, it seems like the implications that higher-ups are just like, fair enough, it's real good. It's clearly frowned upon because that's how Maeve blackmails a bunch of them to be like, you're going to help me. I'm going to tell everyone that you fuck these things, right? And then you've got the guy that I think he blackmailed,

Felix blackmailed, sorry. And then he's like, guy that I think he blackmailed, Felix blackmailed, sorry. And then he's like, when he's trying to weirdly do a sexy dance for Hector, where he gets killed or whatever. It's glass walls, right? To prevent this. Everyone can see it. It's glass walls so everyone can make sure

there's nothing untowards going on. But he's just doing it. He's just jerking off with earphones in so that he can't... There is literally not a single fucking camera on that entire level because it's all glass walls. That's so stupid.

I'm actually kind of... Because he puts earphones in because he wants a good time for himself. But if you're like sneakily jerking off to a sexy robot man and you don't want to be found out Because then it could lose your job You want like your hearing like Well

It's like when you're jerking off as a kid You're like your ears are tuned to the sound of footsteps So you can quickly cover it up Put a notepad in front of your erect wang I understand Like you know Growing up Catholic Your ears become the most sensitive part when you're jerking off

because you're like, I've got to make sure that no one knows I'm singing. You get like a daredevil level of ear. So I figure when your job's at stake, and also like how cool is he with his other co-worker who is working behind him? That's got some... Maybe that's just the way it goes. Presumably he's just fucking into that. I guess. Here's a question. just fucking into that. I guess.

Here's a question. Here's what I think I'd do. In Westworld, clearly there are some characters that are designed for you to fall in love with them. Yes. Right? When Dolores' fucking can rolls out, if you've got your foot there in time, bam, you're in. Right? That's like the first step into getting Dolores to love you right some characters clearly aren't designed to make you like for you to fall

in love with them yeah and i would do my best to seduce them yes dolores's dad yeah i'm like i'm gonna do whatever it takes to make you love me uh-huh uh-huh same uh also the bartender yeah like you're you're my white whale. Yeah, it's like, I'm just here to serve drinks. No, you're here to serve drinks. I think your white whale would be the sheriff. Yeah, oh, how good to get the sheriff to fall in love with you. Oh, nah, James Marsden.

No, but he might. He might be already designed for it. A hunky boy, he's probably designed for you to like. No, no, no. He's in love with Dolores. Yeah. He's in love with Dolores, I'm sure, unless a guest asks. Hard mode.

Get him to meet up with Dolores, right? Take him away from Dolores. Get in between that. Force a triangle. Hard mode. Don't force a triangle. Force a three-way. I feel like that's more doable in the West.

Yeah, no, fair call. Because he'd be like, Dolores, James. Four- way with the father. There you go. Now we're talking. Now I'm uncomfortable. Just get literally every bot into Clearwater

Sweetwater, Sweetwater and get a big old fuck pile going. Do your plan of getting them to follow you and take them to the orgy wherever that's happening. Who programmed that? Do your plan of getting them to follow you and take them to the orgy wherever that's happening. I mean, that's an idea. Who programmed that? Who programmed that orgy?

Because they're not meant to be there. No. Which orgy, sorry? You know the orgy in Past the Mexican Tale with Hector and Nance? Oh, are they not meant to be there? As in, like, NPCs, as in humans, aren't meant to be there. Like, it's a very... Are you sure humans aren't?

They are, but it's difficult. Yeah, it's supposed to be difficult to get there. It's a difficult time to get there. Oh, you're saying like because humans aren't always there. So is that always happening? Or is that only happening when a player character walks in? Because it has to be always happening. Because if a player character, what if they just walk in without doing any of the stuff?

They just stumble upon it and you have all these bots fucking. Which means that I love is that then you have to kind of think back a bit further who's programming that? Who's programming this bot is going to love bot stuff? This bot is going to love and they're just like making sure that

okay so this bot if someone comes up and puts a thing in there or whatever they don't get started on loving it. That orgy, the code would be so insane. Right? Man. Yeah. But it also, I feel like I can imagine the guy programming it sort of the

same way someone might play a piano. For him, it's art. Oh, yeah. True. I think it kind of, in a way, would be. It's an elegant flow. It's about grace. It's more of a playing, like, jazz piano. Because, yeah, yeah, there is like elegant flow and all that kind of stuff. But there is moments of inspiration and there's moments of variety. Yeah, that's true.

And there's moments of like, hey, you know, like randomness. Here's an interesting analog to what you just said there. Here's a good way to compare it. So someone must have programmed and like designed those bots for that pleasure or whatever in the same way that a screenwriter wrote that scene,

a director of photography shot that scene, a director oversaw all of that. Yeah. But like a lot more in depth, like a lot more in depth because there's got to be that, like, the try, like the, imagine like. You can interact with it there. Yeah, what is it?

Development and, what do they call, like the. Development and decadence. I know what you mean. Research and development. Yeah, R&D. R&D days. So it's like, okay, we're just days So I was like Okay we're just gonna See like we're gonna

Tweak the thrust Oh Jesus Oh yeah true It's a delicate balance It's a delicate balance I want to see the Monday meeting Okay so

A guest came through Did not enjoy this This this So we need This area of improvement Because you can Improve butt love Of this particular robot

By 20% This robot does not love it in the butt anywhere near enough and it's causing us a lot of problems. Because there clearly has to be that build up because you're going to have to be trialing and erroring on a lot of things and you're going to have to have the first human test. Imagine being the

first human tester for the love bots. I would be terrified. We got a suggestion in the suggestion box. This particular person said that that one NPC who was covered in gold was pretty good, and he'd like at least 20 more. So I think we can work towards 20 gold-painted NPCs at the orgy. Yeah, imagine just being that first person.

Being like, okay, I've seen it. Firstly, we tried it on watermelons. The first one he demolished. But we've got it to a fine art. That's when you put it back in storage. I'd love to be a QA tester. Okay, so I was going to... Hey, buddy.

Oh, we see them doing that. We see those rooms where people are playing cards and shit like that. There's just going to be one where they make sweet love. There were a couple. I remember those scenes. Yeah, don't they make... I think don't they make the bots test on each other?

They do. I guess they do. Oh, then you're all right. That's pretty good. That's a good way of going about it. That is actually, yeah. Test bots. Bots testing on bots.

Because they're basically human bodies, so you can tell if there's damage. But, you know, if someone's penis gets crushed, it's a robot. Just reinflate that shit, guess would you go to westworld absolutely uh i've had the money i was like caveats money because this is this is the jurassic park question all over again like would you go you're spending how much to just see a dinosaur and the thing is like would I go to spend how much to just have an adventure and I'm like I don't know because if this is like Westworld like this is the future that's

like that's Westworld right what about computer games yeah like how good is just a virtual reality how good is a simple MMO must be pretty amazing if that's your unless it's like oh it's good but you know this doesn't quite compare to the real yeah it could be potentially also i'm not the most fittest man in the world yet

um but i'm the fittest man in the world and so but in an mmo you could be like an mmo like whatever i'm a giant bull man that swings an axe in this i'm like i am a weird man but a cowboy puffed out really easily um and i can't aim for shit yeah but in westworld doesn't matter it doesn't matter yeah like that's true i've pro robots programmed to lose and love you that's true but you can do a lot of walking i actually kind of like walking that's fine but i'm saying no i'm with you like i'll get puffed i'll be like i think this is a great quest gonna hunt down that bandito and halfway there i'll be like, I think this is a great quest. Got to hunt down that bandito. And halfway there, I'll be like, Jesus. Have you ever ridden a horse?

No, I haven't. So, like, I love horse riding. It's the funnest activity I can think of. But, like, it takes it out on you. Like, it hurts. Yeah. After a while, I mean, you get used to it. But, like.

You'd hope that maybe the park has, like, fixed it somehow so that it's easier. That's what I'd do. I'd just ride horses all day. Hey. Fuck, I love horses. That's what I'd do. I'd just ride horses all day. Hey, fuck, I love horses. That's clever, though. Fuck, they're majestic. But, like, even though you've got basic comforts that we all take for granted that you just don't have in Westworld.

Where am I shitting? Wait, where are you shitting exactly? Am I shitting in a gross hole? You're shitting outside sometimes. I'm not. Okay, this is weird. Some people like camping, I guess. But, yeah, I don't know what the audience says.

I refuse to shit on a hole. Robot, I'm shitting on your chest. Wipe me. I mean, like, that's doable. Like, if you want to, you can be like, Robot, I'm going to shit in your... You can just do the whole business. You're selling it out down there.

Yeah. That's fine. Robot, I don't want to worry about my shit until the end of this adventure. Collect it in a bag. It's your problem now. It's yours. But you're right, there's those comforts.

Even a comfortable bed. If you're hunting down a bandito and you're sleeping in a gross tent. Do you think, maybe, because they've got those elevators that go into the park, and large, massive trains that go to and from those

elevators do you think maybe you could be like in westworld you could be like okay i'm midway through my week i think i'd like some comforts of like home or whatever could you be like all right i'm tapping out for a little bit and i'm gonna come back how i guess because if with enough money sure i mean these this is a company that i think with enough money they'd be like yeah do whatever you want it but you're right i it is kind of odd do, this is a company that I think with enough money, they'd be like, yeah, do whatever you want. But you're right. It is kind of odd. Do you think you could do that?

I think... If I ran the park, I'd definitely allow it. Ford would get angry. I feel like, yeah, probably not. Ford would get angry? Because, like, you're not doing the... You've got to find the truth. No, Ford is... Ford is all about, like, giving the person the choice.

Yeah. And if that person's like, I'm tapping out. It kind of breaks his emergence. Sorry? It breaks the emergence. Immersion? Immersion. There we go.

There it is. Breaks the immersion of it all. I feel like what they should do is just have Disneyland, have sneaky hotels. Nice hotels, yeah. Again, I think the inherent flaw with all of Michael Crichton's theme parks is they're not very good theme parks. What if the toilets there look like regular toilets

because they had outhouses and shit? Yeah. What if it's just like... I'm out in the bush. I'm out in the far fucking desert. Well, the further you get out of Sweetwater, the more intense it gets. Yes, if you want to be shitting in good toilets,

shit in Sweetwater. But what if the good quests are there? Well, that's the trade-off. They're surely in Sweetwater as well. Maybe the Sweetwater beds are comfortable. They've got good showers and all that. But yeah, the further out you go... I reckon they wouldn't be, though, because it's meant to be very authentic.

Maybe the further out you get, the more authentic it is. I feel like it's meant to be authentic. But it might just be the best possible of the era, which is fine. Yeah. Which is fine. I think still in Sweetwater, it'd be like, just look like. No, I think that's fine.

I think that's how I think. I think it's going to be a gross out. That's certainly how I would make it. What annoys me a bit about Westworld is that I don't know all the good quests, and I'm going to have to spend such a long time. I'll have to probably come back to do the good. You know what I mean? That's kind of

annoying that's like i go there is there a guide i don't think so i've been trying to fucking get this website uh if you think you're fine if you get off the train there's a 50 50 chance uh that i will bump into you or tell you that i know all the quests of this place and i can help you out that's good man but what if the problem if you get me when I bump into you? Yeah, that's going to fuck you. What I was going to say, probably you've got there is that you're like, I'll take you on this quest.

Someone's like, ha ha, I'm going to kill this robot. Shoots you. It's like, my gun's not working. They just tried to kill you with their hands. Then you're just actually fighting someone. I'm doing this in Sweetwater at the beginning. Yeah, well, you get crazies coming off the train. You said I wasn't allowed to get off at Spanish Town. People there, robots's filled with people there. Robots. They're not going to let me die.

Yeah, that's true. The robots won't let you die. That would be fun. That's what I'd do. Try and die. Because the robots have to stop it. I mean, true. You could die really easily in this park. Yeah, how would you do that? Get a big knife. Slip your throat. Put it on my forehead. Headbut head by the wall you're dead you're probably dead oh no jack's a piss weak little baby he won't be able to crack his skull maybe i'd instead because something that i noticed and i've always thought was weird and it would be absolutely immersion breaking but once i know that the robots can't shoot me then like wouldn't it just be fun to just, like, fuck with them?

Go and be like, I'll kill you. And they're just like, bang, bang, bang. It's not working. That's what the man in black does. Yeah. No, but he's got an ulterior purpose. But he also does that, though. Sorry.

Because it'd be very much like, let's play Russian and all that. Oh, yes. Yes. Make all them sweet dollar dollars. You want to lose. That'd be funny. Click. No, but then they're like, oh, and they aim their guns at you. Yes. Make all them sweet dollar dollar bills. You want to lose. That'd be funny. Click. No, but then they're like, oh, and they aim their guns at you.

Click. Nobody dies. Yeah, I think I'd spend a lot of time doing the quests and just maybe, yeah, I'd probably just go ride a horse. Because, like, that's a lot of fun. But I don't know if I'd do it for this much money. Yeah. Because it's so expensive.

It's very expensive for, like's very expensive How much was it? It's like 25k 20, 25 or 30k a day But you're saying it's for 25k a day You know what I can buy for 25k? A ranch I can buy my own horses But I always assume the economy is shot in Westworld

I was about to say The opposite? No no no it's hard like imagine looking right now at the percentage of people in the world who like make enough money that 20 000 a day is not a big deal yeah i suppose i know it's not you know comparatively to the rest of earth it's small but like it still is a lot of people i think. And then we've got like businesses who are like, we're paying for a really intense team building exercise. Like corporate sponsorship.

Yeah, corporate sponsorship, stuff like that. I just feel like, this is maybe just another critique I have of Westworld, but if your thing is like it's 20k a day, we're not focusing on almost like the one percenters who are going to the park enough. I'm almost like, why? Because it's a weird thing to cater for the one percenters who are going to the park enough i'm almost like why because it's a weird thing to cater for the one percenters we clearly got any questions about what i got the ai the chatbot working ah uh can i run a store can i run a store let's see what you've got to say i like that they're using to try and seem futuristic they're using a technology on the internet

that's the technology that has been available on the internet since the 1990s. At Westworld, anything that's physically possible can happen. Anything you want is at your fingertips, just waiting to be touched, caressed, or released. Okay. So I'm guessing that's a yes? That's a yes. Yeah. What else would you like to know?

Can I punch... No, that's a yes. Can I punch a child? Can I punch a child? What do you got to say? You can do whatever you like at Westworld. Satisfy all your urges without consequences. What more can I explain?

Can I get a host to shit in my mouth? Can I get a host to shit in my mouth? Imagine if they did. Hosts like me look and feel just like humans. We're here to fulfill your every desire. Many guests ask who is host and who is human, but if you can't tell, does it matter?

That seems irrelevant to the chest-shitting situation. What's the toilet sitch? Oh, yeah. I was also going to say sitch. Say situation. I'm not sure what you mean. Let's go through the details. No, no, no.

No, no. I'll ask again. The toilets. Are they gross? Come on, buddy. It doesn't sound like anything to me. Toilets, not real. Not real.

Do the robots ejaculate? Do the robots ejaculate? It's good to get these questions out. These are the ones that are always in your brain. I wish you could answer answer but I don't understand How real are the robots? Do the robots cum? You don't have an answer for that Who knows?

I guess If my fantasy used to be like Basically a cum rag For six cowboys I want them to ejaculate on my face I want them to ejaculate on my face. I want them to ejaculate just a bunch. Yeah. Just like too much.

Too much almost. I'm sure. I want to be left a gooey mess. Think about this. Graphic. So that bar is always filled with robots, right? Always drinking. That's a lot of scotch that's being wasted on robots.

Maybe it's not enough. It would have to be scotch wouldn't it it would because eventually a human's gonna waste of scotch unless it's one of those things where it's like yeah um if you order like the human orders it then it's like yep it's a good start oh that robot walks a fine line if some if a host walks in a guest walks in and is like i want what he's happened well that's true i'm sure it'd be real real scotch and that's a waste that is a waste oh you know what we should ask let's say recycle it then maybe because they keep it i guess they got a tummy no but it's been digested but they're like

actual human bodies yeah yeah i was gonna say because if they can defecate they can if what if i'm into golden showers and i want them bots pissing on me yeah i guess yeah that's a waste of scotch. Idiots. What a pity. Hey, hey, whatever. I guess there's a special place in hell for people who waste good scotch. So my last question for Aidan is going to be, can I make, not make, have one of the prostitutes have sex

with my 15-year-old son. What do you got to say about that? Great drinks, great company. So you can. Go nuts. Fucking good. Can I eat the bots? Can I eat the, I'll say hosts.

Yeah, come on. They feel like, okay, they're saying, yeah, I think so. What do the hosts taste like? What do the hosts taste like? They fit human, I'm assuming is the answer here. Yes. Good. So there you go, Jack.

That little question back in mind, you're always like, what does human taste like? I can go and try it. You can go and find it. I would. I guess, yeah. You'd always be questioning whether or not it actually tastes like human. They might, like, start something.

I might get no cravings. I think they'd be like, yeah, you do the white hat stuff first, and I guess you would be like, again, spoilers, you would be like, William, you'd do the white hat stuff first, but then you'd be like, fuck this, let's see how dark I can go. I'm gonna eat.

Oh, boy. Oh, fucking. I'm going to shoot a kid in front of their mother. No. I'm going to shoot that kid and eat it in front of the mother. Let's see how she reacts to that. Would it change you coming back from Westwood after eating a child? Absolutely. Well, it changed fucking William.

And he just shot a kid. And even then, I felt that was a real weird thing. I wanted to see if I could do it. It's like, you're killing a sim. Who gives a shit? I know. Fucking hell, buddy. Kill him, eat him.

Who gives a fuck? Black hat for life. And on that note, I've been Jackson Bailey. I've been Adam. And I've been Zalman. Westworld. Oh, Aiden wants to know if I'm still there. I'm scared.

Tell him Westworld is Bestworld. Are you real? You're going to get that, like, if you can't tell the difference, it doesn't matter. Westworld is Bestworld. And if you guys have any opinions and thoughts or even just suggestions of what you would do in the wonderful world of Westworld,

hit us up, sanspantsradio at gmail.com, or you can tweet us, sanspantsradio, or myself personally, I'm at goddammitzammit. I'm at olddogsadad. I'm at retroarchetype. These violent delights have violent ends. Had to get it in. Don't judge me. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar why not donate to our Patreon account