Plumbing the Death Star - What's So Good About Being A Pokemon Anyway?

Episode Date: July 14, 2019

Sign up to our newsletter here; http://eepurl.com/cM3in9Join our facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/ Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Watch us stream here; https://www.twitch.tv/sanspantsradioYou can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073Theme music by the wonderfully talented Benny Davis! You can find all his stuff at his website https://bennydavismusic.com or check out his YouTube https://youtube.com/bennythejukeboxWant to help support the show?Sanspants+: https://sanspantsplus.comPodkeep: https://sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: https://audiobooksontape.comMerch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter:  https://twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: http://www.sanspantsradio.comFacebook: https://facebook.com/SanspantsRadioReddit: https://reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: https://twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: https://twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: https://twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sandspan's radio. Tomatoes are a vegetable. I don't care what anybody else says. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, what's so good about being a Pokemon anyway? Or, as I like to call today's episode, is Bill Nighy a fuckwit? We've all seen Detective Pikachu. Every single person in the entire world has seen it. If you haven't seen it. Hey, look, we'll do a quick survey. Jackson, you seen it?

Yes. Joel Zammett, you seen it? Yeah. Joel Dershowitz, you seen it? Okay, I have. So that means 100% and if we expand the survey size out, 100% of the world's seen it. Absolutely.

If you haven't seen it, first of all, great lie. Second of all, that means you missed out on a great scene where Pikachu gets hit in the rocks, gets hit in the guts with a rock. Hit in the rocks with a gun. Boom, right in the rocks. Gets hit in the guts with a little rocket and almost kills him. But a Mewtwo doesn't hurt him.

Yeah, it's a wonderful moment. So the big plot that Bill Nye does is like, right, next step of human evolution. Next step, because I have no legs. I'm going to be a Mewtwo and everyone's going to be their Pokemon. I'm going to be a Mewtwo. Hang on a second. I'm going to be a Mewtwo, and everyone's going to be their Pokemon. I'm going to be a Mewtwo. Hang on a second. I'm going to be a Mewtwo.

Mewtube. Mewtube. Wait. So in this world, Detective Pikachu, does everyone only get one? Yeah. What do you mean, like one Pokemon? Yeah. Well, yeah, in Rhyme City they do, because Rhyme City is like-

It's a trainer-free zone. People and Pokemon live side by side. So you just bond with one, I guess. Yeah, you just get one. Like a wife or a husband or a dog. You just get one. A dog in a very strict neighborhood where you're only allowed one dog. That's what it's like.

Because he's like, all right, everyone bonds with... You and your Pokemon become one being, but I guess mind of you, but body of the Mon. But I assume that comes down to the Mewtwo powers. He just picks. Like the Infinity Gauntlet shit. It's like whatever. I'm not saying that.

I'm just saying there's no point in that film do we see a person with two Mons. Yeah, you only get one Mon. One Mon, Rome City. You want more than one Mon, fuck off. You gotta pick a partner too. That's the deal. And that's the thing. Yeah, you only get one Mon. One Mon, Rhyme City. You want more than one Mon, fuck off. You gotta pick a partner too, that's the deal. And that's the thing, what if you pick someone, but they're a piece of shit. They keep calling them partner Pokemon.

Well, there's evidence of that because so many people have shit garbage Pokemon in their community. It's crazy to think because it seems like the deal is that you get your Pokemon, you bond, or you get your partner when you're very young. But that's like, when I was a team I didn't know what I wanted. You know what I mean?

Everybody has childish Pokemon I guess is my point. And also what I found was very strange in that film was they were like adults, fully grown people walking around with like say a Charmander, like the first evolution. And that bothered you. Yeah. Surely at that point

you got a Charmander. You know what I mean? But that's assuming because and I think I have an explanation because I was thinking about this. So battles are banned. How does a Pokemon get XP in battles? So if you're never battling your fucking Squirtle, it's gonna

remain a piece of shit Squirtle's whole life. Just every morning, just like wake it up and punch it in the mouth. Squirtle's whole life. Just every morning, just like wake it up. Punch it in the mouth. Yeah, Squirtle, quick time to train. Squirtle, Squirtle, boom! Well, actually, that means- Get bigger. That means if it gets no experience because there's no battles,

that means that anyone with an evolved Pokemon in this universe is an abusive piece of shit. That's very funny. Well, we have Kolo at the bar. He's been fighting. So we do see a Charizard, but that's in the fighting room. It's in a battle, yeah. That makes sense.

Absolutely. Are there Eevees? Multiple Eevees? I guess you do that with a stone, so it's not a big deal. We saw someone with an Eevee. Yeah, there's a Vaporeon. Yeah, well, you do that with a stone, so. Eat this rock, idiot.

And what do you think the stigma is of forcing a rock on someone else's Pokemon? It's bad. If I went up to someone's Eevee and I just hucked a, I don't know, Fire Stone at it and made it a Flareon. Grab someone's Pikachu and grabbed a Thunder Rock or whatever and just made it eat it. Could they legislate against me? Could they take me to court?

Probably. I feel like, I don't know, Pokemon evolution's dumb. It is. Because Pokemon can choose not to evolve. What? I want you to evolve. Eat this stone. And I'll just spit the stone out and they'll be fine.

I'll shove it in its mouth, close it, and rub its throat. Yep, it swallows the stone and still doesn't evolve. You know how much that stone cost me? Expensive. It's like 2,500 Pokebox or whatever. But at the end, the culmination of this film is Bill Nighy, who is now the titular question is bill nye a fuckwit yeah because he decides the best thing for humanity the next

step of human evolution isn't human at all it's to combine humans and pokemon a la mystery dungeon yes yeah yeah that's some hot pokemon knowledge for you yeah it's it's also funny because just going back to the partner Pokemon thing and how their partner Pokemon, Bill Nye built Rhyme City and he set the rules. Was he planning this from the get-go? Yeah, but no one's- That's how they get around the one Pokemon thing and the no battling thing.

Look, maybe this is controversial, but a human being is more powerful than a Psyduck. If I became a Psyduck, I would be objectively worse. You are the human equivalent of a Psyduck. He's more of a Snorlax. No. I'm more of a muck. Come on.

A grimer. I'm a Mr. Mime that's covered in a muck. And he's looking up at you like, Mr. Mime. And you're like, you got in there. You can get out. Mr. Mime. And you're like, you got in there. You can get out. Mr. Mime. Mine also sounds like that for some reason. Mr. Mime would also be being poisoned and dying if it's walked in a mug.

It's so great that my Mr. Mime is talking. Well, I think it's also. Mr. Mime, you're meant to mime. Help. This is sort of the real world equivalent of being like, we're going to mind meld you with a dog. Is that good? That's the next step of human evolution.

No, I don't want to be my dog. Go away. If Bill Nighy had an army of Mewtwos he was mind mending people with, that would make sense. That would be fairly reasonable. I totally get him wanting to be Mewtwo, because Mewtwo, most powerful Pokemon. As is established heaps.

So like, yes, that when you're a benevolent dictator or whatever. When you're a man facing the end of his tether and the end of his life, got no legs, being like, man, I wish I was young and sprightly again. Wait a second. But then he's still Mewtwo. What's he doing as a Mewtwo? His plan is kind of insane.

So let's explore it step by step. He's like, first of all, build a city. So he mustn't have had this plan in mind. Even though it makes sense, that would be insane. So build a city. Everybody has a Pokemon. Well, the movie says that it's a degenerative disease that he has. Or condition.

So he knew that his life was going to end like this. Okay, so, all right, then let's assume he knew what he was doing. So does he know what he was doing, or at some point does he be like, no, I'm going to be like a benevolent boy, be like, it's Pokemon, people are living together in harmony. The reason I bring this up is that they made Mewtwo. So it's not like Mewtwo innately had these powers that everyone knows about.

He was like, we have the DNA of Mew. That's where he started. And he's like, somehow I'll use this to make a body, and then with that body, it will have this power to combine humans and Pokemon. That is a very good point. That's insane. That's an insane...

He just hoped. I will posit to you. Yeah. Bill Nye crazy shit. He was just very. You have to assume like, cause his whole plan makes no sense unless he crazy. Yeah.

But even if he's crazy, what are the odds? So that's fine. Oh no. Yeah. Yeah. Cause the city presumably started before Mewtwo existed. Yeah.

But Mewtwo's... So he... I forgot that it's the Mew... Like, studying Mewtwo gave them the ability to do this, because Mewtwo, for some reason, can do that. He worked backwards like a maniac. He was like, I want to merge with Pokemon. They're like, that's not a thing.

Or... I'll make a Pokemon sorts of thing. What? I will make a Pokemon. Or he was a very benevolent person. He's realized that his degenerative disease is going to be like, look, I am not long for this world, but while I'm here, I'm going to do the best that I can.

I am going to be a good bloke. Yeah, yeah, sure. And I'm going to make this world. This is going to be great. Hey, buddy, we found this Pokemon that does this. Oh! No, but that's not how it happens. Because he's like, I'm a benevolent dictator.

They're like, hey, we found the DNA of the first Pokemon. Okay. He's like, okay. And then they're like, would you like us to make another? And he's like, yeah. And then they make another. And then Mewtwo escapes. Before they know he has any of these powers.

Surely Mewtwo, no. Because he knows the powers of Mewtwo escapes. Before they know he has any of these powers. Surely Mew... No, because he knows the powers of Mewtwo. How? Mewtwo is a Pokemon he made. That's like if I was like, I'm going to... Does he have the powers of Mew? No. They don't know the powers of Mew because all they have is Mew's DNA.

Surely they could, by studying the DNA... Imagine you have the DNA... I'm getting a nosebleed. Of like an the DNA of like an early ape. I found a bone. I'm gonna be like I reckon this is a psychic power. I can extrapolate from this bone. Magic power.

Because he gets other Pokemon like the ninja boys and he's like alright I'm gonna make them for stealth and this kind of stuff. He gets those little... Greninjas aren't genetically made though. These ones are though. He gets a ditto and he's like, all right, I'm going to make them for stealth and this kind of stuff. He gets those little- Greninjas aren't genetically made, though. These ones are, though. They're genetically updated. He gets a ditto and he's like, let's make it a bloke.

He's like, done. His ditto can become a bloke. He gets the flower turtle boys. What are them? Terraria or whatever. Terraria makes them too big. Torchy makes them too big. Huge.

The only plot point of that part of the film is just to hit Pikachu in the guts with a rock. That's great, but I hated those bits. The moment you introduce that, you're like, who cares about the other stuff? Godzilla is happening. That's the big problem now. That's the Godzilla music. Godzilla. That's the Godzilla song. It's good.

So he has it. He's like, all right, well, we have this,'s the Godzilla song. It's good. So he has it. He's like, all right, well, we have this, and now we're going to make this. So he's got, like, the Greninjas, and he's going to do this. He's got the Turtle Boys. I'm so excited to hit the next point of this, because it's going to circle back. So what does he know about Mewtwo?

Because he has to know something to then extrapolate out, because he built a device. The only way I can see it working is he makes, he's like, just make me a real powerful Pokemon from the DNA of Mew. And then they make Mewtwo. Unless there is one answer. So in Detective Pikachu, the film, it is, there's one throwaway bit that seems like this is in canon

with the Pokemon movies. So Mewtwo has existed for about 20 years. There is a chance, but there's some issues that the city did come after Mewtwo exists. Yes. No, in fact, you're right, because he didn't make Mewtwo, did he? He just captured it. Yeah, he captured Mewtwo.

Then why do they have the DNA of Mew? Make another? I don't know. They just also got it. Yeah yeah isn't that just how mu2 was made yeah unless the flashback because you see mu2 escape yeah what is him what is flashback but that's it rhymes yeah what is detective pikachu he was hired to do like as in ryan reynolds he was hired for something look i was very jet lagged when I watched this. So Ryan Reynolds' dad, Papa Ryan Reynolds, and his Pikachu Pikachu.

They were hired for... To investigate the facility that Mewtwo was being held in, and they were testing on him. They didn't create him there. Why do they have the DNA of Mew? I don't know, but they make a point, right? They're like... I am so scared that they don't.

I think they were just like... this is how Mew was made. Maybe they're like, Mewtwo was made. I also kind of remember them being like, after we discovered the ancient Mew DNA. Unless Rhyme City bloke Bill Nighy was one of the scientists that also created Mewtwo, but then later on was like, oh, that gives me an idea. That makes sense. Or he just knew about Mewtwo, but then later on was like, oh, that gives me an idea. That makes sense.

Or he just knew about Mewtwo from 20... No, because the city's been around longer than 20 years. Yeah. Okay, look, let's just set this, and I'm not sure if the movie explains it or if this goes against it. So everyone's screaming at their phones. Good, keep yelling.

Oh, your big detective Pikachu stands out there. Because everyone saw it, and everyone knows what's going on. 100%. So let's say that Bill Nighy was one of the scientists. He's not a scientist. But let's say he was one of the scientists. At least he funded it.

Yeah. He worked. Mewtwo was part of him. So that's why he has the Mew DNA because of that. Yeah, sure. Mewtwo created and then makes Ash a stone or whatever. Yeah, then. Ash is dirty in this universe.

That's wild. Anyway. That's great. Mewtwo fucks off to space. That's unknown. Gets captured, comes back. Yeah. Rhyme City at this point.

I guess he builds Rhyme City in the time being. So it's kind of like a whole thing where he's like, I know Mewtwo exists. I've got some great news for you also, that none of this will matter once we get to the next one. I know. Mewtwo exists in this world. Bill Nye's like, right, he's fucked off to space,

but I've got Mew's DNA. Let's go build another Mewtwo. Oh, what? We captured Mewtwo? Great. Never mind this Mewtwo. Put it in the bin. The city building presumably happens.

In 20 years? Can you build a city in 20 years? You can build a city in a day! Rome was famously built in a day! Ray was built in a day! Ray was built in a day! Ray built Rome in one day! Exactly, Ray Romano

And his parents were across the road in Greece They're coming! And his parents on a ship He was hiding in the Colosseum They're coming! And then his parents on a ship. He was hiding in the Coliseum. Ray Romano lives in the Coliseum. Yes. Okay.

So let's assume that he finds out Mewtwo exists. He's like, I got a great plan. Mom! Mom! I gotta fight a lion! Finds out Mewtwo exists. He's like, okay, I'm building a city with my incredible wealth. And from that city, everyone will have one partner Pokemon. Yep.

And then they capture Mewtwo again, which I guess he's been trying to do his whole life. Yeah. Maybe they experiment. They like further genetically mutate Mewtwo. Yeah. Because that seems to be the implication with all the Greninjas and the Torterras or whatever. Why didn't he make a big Mewtwo. Yeah. Because that seems to be the implication with all the Greninjas and the Torterras or whatever.

Why didn't he make a big Mewtwo? No, no, no. Because he wants to be, well, I don't know. He still wants to fuck. I'm pretty sure that the experiments that we're doing, they enhanced every Pokemon in a unique way. Why didn't he just go into the mind of his Ditto? Why not? He hates his son. Just be your

son. Who gives a shit? Yeah, that's true, man. Yeah. He's got two good options. Be your son. Son or Ditto. Yeah, well, your son nor Ditto have psychic abilities, and I guess his end goal is to merge humans and Pokemon. Which brings me to the big point

of the episode. Which is why none of that last bloody 10 to 15 minutes of content matters is because why? You're immune. So look, fuck, who gives a shit? He's become immune to it. And then his next step is to merge everyone

in Rhyme City with their Pokemon. I will posit that he is insane. Great answer. Well done. What will posit that he is insane. Yeah. Great answer. Well done. What an insight from Joel's app. He crazy. He crazy as shit. I thought he was sane this whole time. And on that note.

There is no other reasonable explanation. And on that note, I've been Joel and thanks for answering the question. What's so good about it? He crazy. He's nuts. That's it. Unless everyone is a Mewtwo, unless he wants to like rule them all. Well, I was just thinking then.

But he can do that as a. No, but maybe it's easier for a Mewtwo to be in charge of other Pokemon than a Mewtwo to be in charge of humans, you know? Most Pokemon cannot fire a gun. Most Pokemon. He's also doomed his own city. Yeah. Well, Pokemon cannot fuck.

So they cannot. Well, some Pokemon can. Actually, most Pokemon can. No, take it back. Pokemon can fuck. Yeah, yeah. It's more like Pokemon can't drive trains. That's true.

Some can. I'm Mr. Mime. Mr. Mime. No, he's just Mime driving a train. I'm a champ. Hey, how good's a scene where Mr. Mime. Mr. Mime? No, he's just Mime driving a train. I'm a champ. Hey, how good's a scene where Mr. Mime gets set on fire? There's police brutality. It's curious that...

So I guess Mewtwo can just speak English, but none of the other Pokemon can. But when they're all Pokemon, I think they can communicate. But only to one guy. Only to one guy. Because of unknown reasons. Same DNA, maybe? Because they use his DNA to bring his dad back,

meaning that his- Hey, another funny thing is like- He didn't recognize his own dad's voice? Well, that's funny. But no, but Ryan City is just one city. He didn't do it to the world. No. When the government comes-

They'll shoot everyone. They'll kill all those- Come on, cover it up. Again, unless- Unless he's insane? When the government comes. They'll shoot everyone. They'll kill all those Pokemon. Cover it up. Again, unless. Unless he's insane? No, yes. It's just, I'm trying to think.

All right, think about this as if you're not a crazy piece of shit. Your Pikachu is no match for a Mewtwo. If you're like, look, all right, I'm controlling this Mewtwo. It's fine. This is me. Cool. Do you want to merge with your Pokemon? Now you can. Offer it as a service.

I'm sure some people would pay for it. People would be all over that, you know? Weirdos. Yeah. Freakers. Yeah. What about if you didn't? I was just thinking, like, if I didn't have a partner Pokemon,

say I'm in Rhyme City doing my career of killing Rattatas with a big stick. So you are Justice Smith? Would I just merge with killing Rattatas with a big stick. So you are Justice Smith? Would I just merge with a Rattata? Like a rando one? Well, that's also... Well, yeah, because there are rando ones around. There's hand monkeys. Yeah, there's pests and stuff.

Hit them with a bat like you planned to. Hit them with a bat. I'm going to get rid of all these damn apons. I'll just squish them with a hammer. Because there's more Pokemon in that city. So do I need to pay for this? I do it for Hit him with the bat. I'm going to get rid of all these DMA pawns. I'll just squish him with a hammer. Because there's more Pokemon in that city. So do I need to pay for this? I do it for the love of the game. There's more Pokemon in that city than there are people.

Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. Look. Yes. You're becoming a ratatouille. Okay.

Just checking. Well, are you at the parade? No. Because it only happens at the parade. I'm in the sewer. I'm working hard. You're going to come out and accidentally kill people. I'm going to come out with a big sack dripping with blood full

of ratators and be like, what is going on? Where are the other people? I thought I was the freak or the weirdazoid or whatever. But it was you, society. I'm having my wet rats on the ground. What are you doing to the Mewtwo? You didn't merge with...

No! I'm very confused. Do you want to buy any of these dead ratatars? This is how I make my living. I'm hungry all the time. No one wants to buy them. I have to eat dead ratatars and they don't taste good. I suck the meat off their wet bones.

Mewtwo, come down and talk to me. Maybe we can make a deal. He just breaks my brain. Like he takes my soul out and just sends it nowhere. All into your own sack. So a lot of people, when they merge with their Pokemon, just the body of the man or the lady goes into the Pokemon. Yeah.

So the body of the person goes into their Pokemon. But Bill Nye, he's just controlling. So he's just a dude in a wheelchair in his tower. Yeah, I know, because he's controlling it. He did it because he's wearing the thing. It's weird that he didn't ask Mewtwo to swap him. Yeah. Right?

Easy way to fight Bill Nighy is push him off Yeah, absolutely Wait, didn't they do that in the end? No, it was so tight Yeah, they shoot Bill Nighy in the head Right in the brain I think they take the thing off his head

Yeah, they do, which again, another easy solution And then Mewtwo is like, I will undo this And everyone's like, oh my god, I was in my fucking dog. Do you think you would still have the same relationship with your Pokemon? And now a quick word from our sponsors. Also, plumbing is sick as cream and all, but did you know that we produce at least eight other podcasts? Like maybe you're looking for the podcast equivalent of having the flu

and then taking too much cough syrup accidentally and then driving a car. Well, then why not listen to BigSoftTD.png, a nightmare comedy podcast by comedians Tom Walker and Demi Lardner that's far better than it is any right to be. Based on the only two people that you see continue their relationship after the events of that is Ryan Reynolds and his detective Pikachu, and neither of them seem to acknowledge the fact

they were one being. So presumably... Does it create a separate consciousness altogether? That's what I was going to question. Do you merge together, or does the brain of the human take over the

Pokemon body? Well, see, Ryan Reynolds as a dad seems boring, and Pikachu as a Pikachu is just a Pikachu, but somehow they made Deadpool when they formed together. Well, whatever her name is, the girl with the atrocious dialogue, when she...

Oh, you mean Plot Device Lady? Yeah, Mrs. Plot Device. Exposition Woman, yeah. The only character that you get to know in the movie at all that just treats this all like it's normal. Yeah, that's true. She's like, yeah, I'm a Pokemon trainer. Yeah, whatever.

This is my Psyduck. It's a brain. What's up with Psyduck being a bomb? I don't know. I don't know. I got no answers for you, man. But after they've merged, she's like, no, let's never do that again. And Psyduck's like, Psyduck.

I don't remember. Psyduck probably experienced it a bit. I guess his psyche could be. What, did they merge them? They must merge them, which is unpleasant because, hey, Pokemon aren't that intelligent. Well, maybe they are. They seem pretty intelligent when they're chatting to Ryan Reynolds.

And they seem to have jobs. Yeah, well, you can give a horse a job. I mean, a horse can work in a bar. Yeah, you can't give a horse a bar work. horse can work in a bar. Yeah, you can't give a horse a bar work. You can teach a chimp to tend a bar. You can teach a horse to pull a carriage. That's work. Yeah, but pulling a carriage is a bit different than making a cocktail.

It can mop your stairs or something. I think the only job that is very crazy that any Pokemon has is when that Machamp is directing traffic. How does it know? How does it know where the cars need to go? Maybe it's clever. Maybe it doesn't know. Pile-ups in Rhyme City all the time. In every other Pokemon city,

in the Viridian City, they're like, fucking Rhyme City, where the Pokemon are in charge of stuff. You see the houses? Those fucking golems melt. They don't know what they're doing. Although, in the normal Pokemon games

a Machoke or a Machamp helps you move house. Yeah, but there's always directed by a human. They're in construction. Yeah. It's like telling a chimp to lift a box.

It can figure it out, but it can't build a house itself. You tell a chimp, put that piece of rebar there, the chimp will. You say, chimp, we'd like a nice,

I don't know, Edwardian three-story villa. That chimp will. You say, chimp, we'd like a nice, I don't know, Edwardian three-story villa. That chimp's just going to fucking die probably. It's going to nail its eye out or something. It's like, hoo, hoo, ha, ha. It picks up a nail and just shoots itself in between the eyes. Oh, maybe this was a bad idea. Because fucking animals aren't that intelligent.

I hate Brine City imagine being like oh yeah I'll just get my coffee delivered to me by a fucking APOM or whatever and it just gives you hot water and sprays milk on your body I hate this city my sandwich is just one bit of bread and lick a tongue spit

lick a tongue goes and licks people on the brain it's paras paralytic paralytic paralytic I think it causes paralysis I guess it just doesn't

not on Justice Smith whose name in the film I forget Tim, his name's Tim Tim Goodman because he's a good man like John Foster Smith, whose name in the film I forget. Tim. His name's Tim. Something Goodman. Tim Goodman. Because he's a good man. Like John. Yeah.

He's a good man. Let's figure it out. Let's figure it out. So you would have a golem. No, sorry. Geodude. What? That's worse.

You would have a golem. Did you say Roomba? A whooper. What's a whooper? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sam would have a Wooper, right? What's a Wooper? I'll find you a picture. It's little and blue.

Yeah, he doesn't have arms. It's like half beaver, half dadpole, but it's blue. Yeah. It's cute. Shut up. You'd have a Wooper. Look at him. Yeah, he's cute.

That's the noise he's always making. He's constantly shocked. Just because his mouth is open doesn't mean that's the noise he's just making all the time. Just because his mouth's open means I'm going to put grapes in it all the time. What Pokemon are you getting? I'll get a Muk or whatever. A Grimer, since you gave us the other one. Oh, right.

Yeah, I'll have a Grimer. If you got merged with that Pokemon, how happy would you be? No legs, no arms, no anything. Very. At least I got a mouth. What Pokemon would you be happy to you be? No legs, no arms, not very. At least I've got a mouth. What Pokemon would you be happy to merge with? Zapdos.

Choosing a legendary. Whatever the god one is. Arceus. That'd be pretty cool. Just the god Pokemon. Professor Oak. Well, a golem at least has arms and legs As if I wouldn't have a Taurus

Yeah that's fair I was trying to pick little unevolved Pokemon Because we wouldn't have I can see you having a manky that's fair I can see Zamet having a What's that tree Pokemon that's secretly made of rocks Pseudo Wudo Or a Giraffarig

Any of these tall Pokemon I guess I guess, for some reason. Well, Drowsy Boy. He's silly sleepy. He's gross looking. Yeah, Drowsy. Sure. I guess I can only... They also steal children.

Yeah. I can only have wet Pokemon, I guess, is the deal. Grimer, I muck. Yeah. Magnemite, I spat on. It's so little little I'll lose it I guess I think there's a single Pokemon I'd be happy with

Jackson I'm going to put you in a Voltorb Oh no Jackson kept smacking his It's great to imagine I've got a Voltorb Next to an alarm clock Wake up in the morning like Shut up Oh fuck Your Voltorb self to an alarm clock wake up in the morning like oh shut up smack oh fuck

your vault on self-destructs everybody to wake you up i'm up i'm up and on fire time to go to the pokemon center hey fix this it's dead sir please examine your statement I'll put in a pokeball And then you just smack a pokeball And your unconscious Voltorb together Fix this dead con I'll do it I keep killing these Voltorb I keep hitting them

They keep pulling up Mr. Bailey They know me by. Mr. Bailey, they know me by name. I think any bipedal Pokemon, I'd be like, maybe. But even then. Like, you know those fighting boys? No. Like a hitmonchan. I can imagine Zammett loving being a Rapidash.

Majestic horse. Majestic horse. On fire. On fire. Burn whom horse. On fire. Burn whom you don't trust. Mewtwo changing everyone in Zamba, just running around as a horse. Fuck yes, fuck yes. Guys, look.

Cantering around. Look at my goddamn mane, it's on fire. I'm goo, I'm happy. He's stamping on you. Slowly like slipping into a drain. Hell! Hells yeah, this is great. I'm a manky, I just leave.

Manky hop on my back, let's stomp on Jack Moore. I can imagine you as a Geodude looking at other floating Geodudes being like, how they doing that? Getting on your little hands and jumping up and just landing on your bottom. How they doing that? How are you floating? What? Why do you fighting? What? Why do you lose that ability?

It's funny to imagine when they reverse it, but I'm in the drain. Oh, no. Guys, help. Just hearing my teeny voice out the drain. Jackson's still in the pipes. Can I outrun Mewtwo, you reckon? Yeah, absolutely. Mewtwo's been like, let's merge him.

Shit, no! Fuck, fuck, fuck! You've got to go live on the outskirts of the city as a horse. Yeah. Me and Dusha are back and you're like, do you want to go visit Zambit on that farm he lives on? I'm so uncomfortable every time I go there. Just canter up to us in a field.

Hey, man. Hey, it is great. You know people just give you hay? Yeah, that's cool. Be the horse, Bruce! Be's cool Do you miss your family No Are they horses Why would I miss them

Watch me do this job You know I learnt flamethrower the other day That's great man I can do fire blast if you Slap a technical machine at me I spent two weeks in the train. I had to survive when Rattatas come my way. Again.

I'm sick of Rattata meat. So do you have the, like, would it be like, yeah, the consciousness of, say, you, say, me, and the Rapidash that was my good friend? Maybe. Maybe you would have that, like, a merge kind of thing, or is it just kind of like duality brain to be like there's me and there's rapid ash we're kind of having conversations

yeah because if it's that it's not as bad i feel because i'd be like hey you want to go for a run like yeah i do like sick whoa because then like when you unmerge then it's not like i know what my pokemon like i've seen that my pokemon are horny for Bulbasaurs or whatever. Yeah, you've not seen like the darkest parts of your Pokemon psyche. You're just like, oh, I've come out and we can continue being partners. It's weird. So imagine you live in Rhyme City and you get explained to you that Bill Nighy designed the city so that everyone have a partner Pokemon. So he could merge them.

That's like finding out your relationship is built on lies. Yeah. The only reason I have a partner, this partner muck or whatever, is because Bill Nighy deemed it so. Because I can understand him wanting to be that Mewtwo, but why do you want to put it on everyone else? I don't know. That's the part I don't understand.

I don't understand. Because if he just decided he wanted to be a Mewtwo, no one would care and he would have gone away. Honestly, that probably solves the Mewtwo problem. Yeah, exactly. That guy's dangerous. You've built that Mewtwo. That's cool.

Yeah. I guess that's your property. Fair enough. Look, it could have been Iron Man. It could have just been the Iron Man thing. Then the army later on is like, hey, Bill Nighy as Mewtwo, can you give us this technology so we can do it for the military? And he'd be like, no all right yeah i just i'm like surely yeah tony it's this

is the equivalent of tony stark being like i've made myself a suit so i don't die from these poisons in my heart yeah also every person i'm gluing into an iron man suit apart from like the obvious psychic powers yeah apart from just the like Right, I reckon I could merge everyone else What are the benefits of Bill Nye over being like Right, I got my ditto I could just transform into him Or put my consciousness into him I guess he needs Mewtwo to do it

Mewtwo has a thick tail mound as well On the front His pubis mons is huge Would you touch it? I imagine it would feel awesome. Because I'm just like. That pause was good. It's way more wet there.

Couldn't he be like, hey, Mewtwo, could you merge me with my ditto? Well, I don't know why he doesn't want to just be. He'd just be like, cool, I'm glad you didn't experiment on me or keep me captive. And you just come and ask me a question. Sure, I guess I'll do that. Couldn't he just merge? No, because then he has ditto eyes yeah you don't want them ditto eyes

then wear sunglasses that ditto was so clever that ditto sent a text yeah how fucked is that that ditto knew how to text yeah it knew that who cares about Bill Nighy we got a problem right here texting ditto every time I see anyone with sunglasses I'm punching them

does the ditto speak at all in that film? No. So I guess he wanted to use his mouth to use words. Yeah. Yeah, right. All right, okay. Ditto, bad option.

But I don't know why he didn't just be like, okay. Wait a second. If a ditto can text, surely you could program it so it's got to talk. Yeah, it can have a text-to-speech thing. Here's my question. Okay, I mean, that's all right. I was imagining just genetically modifying it so it actually can speak. Well, maybe that's difficult because they didn't do it.

Yeah, that's difficult, but making a Godzilla easy. I don't know. They've just got to make it big. Find the Pokemon genetics that say big and turn them on. Crank that. Crank that big. But if they can genetically create something from the DNA of a Mew, why can't they just make a person like a Goomy,

like a clone slug for Bill Nighy to hop into? They need to have a never-ending supply of muscly bodies to slug into. Did Pokemon die of old age? I don't think Pokemon can die. But the problem there is, though. Except my Rattatas. They are definitely dead. Yeah, I was going to say, well, people couldn't see that,

but I looked at you like, I don't think that's true. Pokemon, surely. There's a Pokemon graveyard. Yeah, that's true. All Rattatas you killed with a stick. The problem of that, of Bill Nye having an endless supply of Pokemon goop he can transform into, it's just him. He can't get everyone else in there.

Yeah, that's true. He needs everyone else to be Pokemon for some reason. I'm going to make everyone their Pokemon because... Joel Zama, do you have an answer for this? No. I feel like you did early on. Yeah. I did, but I got mocked.

I provided the only reasonable explanation and everyone jumped down my throat so I'm going to put that opinion and answer in the bin and leave it open up for everyone we did it you let us win yes well done so I'm going to turn everyone in this city into a Pokemon not even a good one just the ones they have

what if it is a um what's the word I'm looking for? Sexual fetish. No. Neither of those words were right. Superiority complex. Okay.

So if he doesn't... You just reckon it's Pokemon of just the bee's knees? Well, no, because if he makes himself a Mewtwo and everyone else is still people, they mightn't respect him. Or if he's made them all Pokemon, as he states when he's like, a Pikachu is no match for a Mewtwo.

He knows he's the most powerful Pokemon. So he can stay in charge. But then again, if you found out... A Mewtwo is no match for a sniper rifle to the brain. So if you found out that your boss, or your mayor in this sense, was a Mewtwo, would that affect much? I don't know.

Here's something I'm thinking about. How much do people know about Mewtwo? I was going to say about their boss. I was like, most people at least know them. But like, do I as an average Rhyme City resident, sewer man as it were, do I know much about Mewtwo? Or am I like, who's this guy? Well, that happened 20 years

ago. Yeah. What happened 20 years ago? A big thing? What happened? The creation, Giovanni, I think, or Team Rocket. Someone made a Mewtwo. But that happened in Japan. So, like, I don't know. We're in America, I think. Hard to say.

Yeah, it's unclear. Bill Nighy is British. Where are we? Hey, it was Bill Nighy. Oh, no. Where the hell have we found ourselves now? But was Bill Nighy's plan to become Mewtwo and just leave his body in the chair?

Yeah. At the top of the building, just sleeping. Surely he should have gotten his ditto to wheel him into a safe. Yeah, that would be clever. A safe. And to feed, does his body still need to be fed? Why didn't Bill Nighy merge himself with the Mewtwo? Yeah, I don't understand.

He merged himself with the Mewtwo and been like, that's me, it's good now. Maybe he was going to do that after he turned everyone into their Pokemon. But why? But maybe Mewtwo was... Okay. No. Does Mewtwo eat other Pokemon?

No. That's that option off the table. Mewtwo is the person who merges them. So maybe Mewtwo only has the ability to merge the people and their Pokemon physically where the machine does it mentally. Because it wasn't a merging. It was just mind control. Oh, yes.

Yeah, that's true. He doesn't merge with Mewtwo. But surely the moment he becomes Mewtwo, he could merge with Mewtwo. Because then he has Mewtwo's powers. But his mind is in Mewtwo. Then if he does that, then I guess it must be kind of either both existing in one brain

or kind of a new entity. Oh yeah, because if he does that, then Mewtwo will fight back. We're starting to get to the bottom of this. We're starting to figure some aspects. I would say that that part, I moved away from my friend there, but whatever. I would guess that that part shows that moved away from my friend there, but whatever. I would guess that that part shows that, yeah,

your brain ends up being the two beings coexisting. Yeah, yeah. It's a fight. Rather than becoming one. So when Zammat's a horse. Yeah, me and my horse are chatting. Fuck, man, it's good. Yeah, but it's fine because presumably

your partner Pokemon you're already good friends with. Which makes it bad if I'm merging with one of the many Rattatas. Because they're not friends. He's killed my family! I killed your family as well! Oh no! I'm disappearing! Oh no, what if you found

out that your Pokemon was more powerful than you? That would change the whole dynamic. Presumably, I would assume that all my Pokemon are more powerful than me. Pokemon, all of them have a move that might as well be a gun. If your Geodude or Mankey or whatever wanted to choke you out, you couldn't fight that. How are you going to strangle a Geodude?

You can put your fist in its mouth. Where's your stomach? I'll choke it out by shoving my hand down its face. It's really good to imagine from the perspective of the Geodude, it's got his big hands around you, your face as you put a fist in, and then your eyes just widening as your arm keeps going. What? What's inside you?

Geodude, stop choking me. Let me get in your mouth. I want to explore. I'm so- I'm wearing the Geodude as a hat. I'm so baffled by this. What's in here? You can kill me later.

I'm curious. I just need to know. Give me a torch. It's cool that I just pick Pokemon that are just heads with limbs. I'm like, that's what Dushan needs. I don't need a body. No, just a head with limbs. That's enough.

Yeah, that's enough. Yeah. Okay. So at least now we understand that when everyone's freaking out, it's because they're having a conversation internally. Yeah. Well, who controls the body? Both?

Well, I suppose it's a committee, basically, and you just come to the... Look, it's no way to live. It would be sick if, like, you just showed them all freaking out and then every single body just snapped in half. Surely there's got to be someone who has to take control. Well, I mean, I suppose, yeah I suppose the Pokemon knows how to use its body better than you do And if we recall, Detective Pikachu struggled though, actually

So he must have been in charge Because he couldn't do the Pikachu moves Except at the end, he learned Vault Tackle Which is crazy, because he was a guy, not Pikachu So I must be... I wonder if Ryan Reynolds can still do vault tackle as a dad. So, yeah, where did Pikachu's consciousness go? Well, maybe.

Okay. He has no memory of. No. Because he had no memory of what happened before except some sort of. Well, here's my theory. Very kind of ideas. Pokemon body, stronger than human body. Yeah.

Pokemon brain, weaker than human brain. Oh. Pokemon brain, weaker than human brain. Oh. So our brain eats the poker brain. Yeah. And their body eats our body. Yeah. And then we exist as a Pokemon. Why Bill Nighy wants it?

I think Zambit hit it on the head with his hand. Luckily, we were very accepting of that theory. Yeah, luckily he brought it up originally. It will have to just be that he sees that Mewtwo is stronger than every Pokemon, so if anyone tries to rise up he'll just be like Mewtwo is already more powerful than a man.

Everyone tried to rise up, stop it. Mans have guns. Yeah, but Mewtwo has like a shield that can probably stop a gun. Are there guns in the Pokemon universe? Yes, in the Safari Zone. In an episode of Pokemon, the Safari Zone probably stop a gun are there guns in the pokemon universe yes in the safari zone in an episode of pokemon the safari zone operator holds a gun to ash's head yeah it was not screened to western audiences also blast toys they have guns oh that's true they're water guns yeah i reckon you could hit with a hydro pump and live or would it be like it'd be like getting hit

with a fire like like a fire hose. Or the meat straight off your bones. You'd just see a skeleton and you'd look at the camera and be like, oh, golly, and then you'd die. So why would anyone want to be a Pokemon anyway? They wouldn't. They just wouldn't. Unless there are...

If there wasn't a service... Yeah. So you, you say for example I could go to say You're turning this into a money making thing If there was a service you had Bill Nye there Kind of just comatose In a chair Mewtwo standing next to him

Being like right if you want I could For the next hour you could be your Pokemon and do some stuff I'm like cool Depending on the Pokemon I've got that Might be neat I could do I could probably do it. I could do it as a ride or a sweet sim-ulation. Yeah, I think I'm going to say a sweet sin

and I got excited. Yes! Yes! Sweet sin! Yes! Absolutely sinning! Fetishes! That's what we're here for. If I could bang a Rapidash as me as a Rapidash, but not as like, if I'm experiencing in that brain, I will do it. Somebody floated the sexual fetish thing earlier. Don't know who.

But I'm in. Mewtwo bans me, I guess. Flings you out of the window. I don't know what it's like to fly as a Charizard. So sure, that could be neat. I don't know what it's like to run as a horse. I guess that could be neat. Yeah. I don't know what it's like to run as a horse. I guess that would be neat. If I bought a dog to Mewtwo and was like,

can I just be this dog for a bit? Can I hop in this pooch house? I just have this vivid dream of pissing on a fire hydrant as a dog. And I'm like, what if that's good? Okay, what if I bought, say, I don't know, my dad, and was like, we want to switch for a bit. I want to be my dad, and he wants to be me. I think Mewtwo will facilitate any Freaky Friday situation you want.

Hey, I'd like to learn the lesson that it's not easy being young and it's not easy being old. Yeah, is that cool? Can we switch? Can I do that? What if I bring in my boss and I'm like, hey, any Freaky Friday situation, can we do this? As long as you learn a lesson, Mewtwo's fine with it.

Yeah. And the other question we pose, well As long as you learn a lesson, Mewtwo's fine with it. And the other question we pose, well, the other question I pose is, is Bill Nighy a fuckwit? Yes. Yeah, absolutely. He should have just mind-controlled the Mewtwo. Yeah, I don't know. And then keep your ditto boyfriend, son,

is the word I was looking for. Have your ditto son to wheel you into a safe and keep being that Mewtwo. Absolutely. And then once a day become Bill Nighy again to eat and shit and then whatever. To get your eats and shits out of the way. Presumably his body's still going to die.

And that's a good point and then he's done. Which means that this didn't actually achieve anything. It's simple. It's like that fox, goose and lettuce river situation. You might throw a fox, goose, and lettuce river situation. Yeah, yeah. You might throw a fox, a goose, and a lettuce into the river.

Yeah. The lettuce floats. Some people call the cops on me, or am I good? Exactly. It's that pharma conundrum. Right. So you have the device. You control Mewtwo.

Now your consciousness is in Mewtwo's body. So, right. Then you merge your body with the body of something you want to be, like a sick Psyduck or a Rapidash. You're like, sweet, now my body's in that Rapidash. I then take off the – where'd the device go? Well, the device, yeah. See, you've melted it.

All right. Well, you don't take the device off because it's now in a Psyduck. It's in a Psyduck. So my body is now in Psyduck, so I don't have to wait. My body's in Psyduck, so it's not degenerating. I now keep that Psyduck in an aquarium. That's where they got to go. So I can feed that Psyduck. I'm. That's where they got to go. So I can feed that Psyduck.

I'm never going to die because Pokemon can't die. That's famously stated correctly by Jackson. And then I live my life as Mewtwo, and no one can stop me unless they have to dig into that Psyduck to get that device. And no one's doing that because no one knows that's happened. So then this becomes Rhyme City run by Mewtwo and his pet Psyduck.

Yeah. Well you solved it. But I don't think anyone will. And now I just become a Mewtwo. He gets all the power of a Mew. Well done Bill Nighy. The most prestigious position

a person can hold. He gets power of the Mew and the power of Mewtwo. He can do a psychic. He can do a psychic and be good at bureaucracy. If you were in Pokemon, would you want to battle? I would. Yes. Yeah, good.

I'd want the thrill. Yeah. Imagine being like, I'm a arcanine. What does a flamethrower feel like? Hey, that was good. Hot on my lips. Could you be like, hey, can I be my Pokemon and then we fight? Yeah.

That'd be all right. Yeah, that'd be okay. But you'd have to have Mewtwo on the side to like un- But you get KO'd. You're still in your Pokemon. Your human body mightn't be able- Look, we don't know what'll happen. I think I just won't switch, to be honest.

You'll just keep hunting Rattatars in the sewer. For free. Love of the game. Love of the game. Yeah. I guess I'll just gallop off into the wild. I'm getting back on the train and leaving. This place is fucked.

I want to go to a normal city where I can have 100 Pokemon. Yeah. And use them as weapons. Did we solve it? Yeah, he's crazy. I think the conclusion that me and you have come to is that Bill Nighy is just crazy. He's insane. He's just a bit of a crazy boy.

That's good insight, boys. Glad you got there. We got there in the end. It only took us the entire length of a normal Plum in the Death Star. Not a moment too long, short, or whatever. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson.

I've also been Joel. Pikachu, I choose to leave. Thanks for listening, and if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can find us at SansPantsRadio on Twitter you can find us at Sandspants Radio or you can find us individually I'm at Douche13 I'm at OldDogsOfDead and I'm at GodDammitZammit

If you want to hear our other shows you can head to SandspantsRadio.com and you'll find all our other content there There's heaps and if you want to support us head to SandspantsPlus.com Thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time

Goodnight for now But not forever. Kisses.