Plumbing the Death Star - What's The Best Use of Time Travel? (Revisited)

Episode Date: July 20, 2025

Time travel has infinite possibilities, so of course these 3 immediately took it to suck job machines... Happy 600 again!Buy Tickets to see Plumbing The Death Star & Thumb Cramps herehttps://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY PLOMBING THE DEATH STAR! HAPPY 600 MONTHS! there happy birthday blowing the death star welcome to the second episode of 600 month well where we go back in time we go back in time dude back back back in time I was so scared I was gonna sneeze again I'm sneeze free. But at the end of last episode we recorded and people can listen to our whole back catalogue to figure out which one it is. I sneezed a couple of times and then an hour and a half passed of no sneezes. And then I started introducing a very special episode. Week two of 600 month and the sneeze came back. I wonder there's too much pollen in the studio

It's grass But the floor is all grass good prank to just like like throw grass seed on the floor Got him got him got your friend my ass Many of our listeners out there. This is 600 month. Yeah, but for us. It's grass in the studio Yeah, better way to celebrate friends exactly dude That out of the way we're going back in time back through the back catalogs of plumbing the death star Yeah, look at an episode title and go hey Let's do that again. We were bad the first time what if it's good the second time yeah last week was you can scroll down and read what it was and this week

We're going back to ask How would you use time travel? What's the best use of time travel? Okay, so this was my pick. This is a very early episode. We were like, episode seven, don't go back. What's the best use of time travel? And I think I was coming out of watching or rewatching for the who knows what time like a Rick and Morty.

Yeah, yeah, Rick and Morty don't think existed back there. They stole all of our jokes. We're all over the brick and Morty. That's true. Yeah We're all to the Rick and Morty and in this episode that we did previously was probably about how Doc Brown fucked his own Ass or something and Rick and Morty famously started as a dog. That's true fucking his own ass Marty's licking Doc Brown's balls. Yeah, I take time or whatever Yeah, it's crazy that what's his name is a pervert. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who saw that coming? Who did the accent was a funny touch? Yeah If you're grooming someone and then you throw in an offensive Chinese accent Yeah, but but like an offensive Chinese accent you write

Yeah, yeah, I wasn't even doing it wasn't voice like a like a voice memo Like that like he did the conscious effort to write out and race like how do I how do I get the racism across? Yeah, by an accent form just using letters. Obviously. this is a huge part of my seduction It's also crazy to be grooming someone yeah to then have such a big swing in a mist that they then take it to the internet Justin brother you were killing Racist Chinese accent like you know're like, you know, like a part of Rick and Morty. He got in trouble, right? As in like, you know, from Rick and Morty. I'll like, you know, like, you know, I know, no, no, no. Now when we're, we're

going to have to delve a little bit into alleged behavior. I might be slightly off the screen. Yeah, no, no, no, no. So what So what we were just laughing about, that was for real. But I think he got arrested and found innocent of battery of his partner. Oh, like domestic. Yes, that's right. Because he was like, there was allegedly keeping her in a cupboard or something. Yeah. Wasn't this at the same time where that was happening?

So he went off the internet for a bit. And then he groomed using the Chinese accent. And then, like, he went off the internet, like, and all that kind of went happened but then he was like yeah proven innocent whatever but then at the same time there never was like like the people he tried to groom were like he tried to groom us. Yeah. And then he came on the internet being like I'm in. Oh no. Yeah. Oh nevermind. What has happened when I when I have been out. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh my secrets! I have not come back to a safe space.

Yeah. They made the gun less annoying and high on life, maybe people wouldn't have been talking about it. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, dude. Anyway, we outlasted Rick and Morty and no one here grooms anyone. That's true. We are confident about that.

Yeah. Groom free. Groom free. Most comedy productions can't be so be so they can't make that claim Now Zami you've been trying to say something for I want to say the last 10 minutes, please Let's hear it. So the episode we did is best use time travel and I believe I was at the same at that time I was watching a few trauma and I was like I came in to episode being like it was a neat idea that it was Just like you know a loop and and then I so I used Futurama as

the example to answer the question thinking it was it was it was a neat use of time yeah yeah and then realizing maybe halfway through what I was saying it was the the end result of of of of Fry using time travel was to to make sweet love upon his grandma yeah yeah yeah so it ended up my answer inadvertently unbeknownst to myself. Yeah Best use of time travel for me apparently that moment in time was to go back in time Fuck your grandma. Yeah, she heart that is awesome Do over and I've been waiting 10 years Okay

You know to stick to your guys Okay, yeah, all right if you don't want to stick to your guys you know It was like the best. I thought I think I read it as the best use of time travel as depicted in media Okay, but not like a as a nice kind of like loop yeah as opposed to the best use of time travel What you're doing? I am balls deep in your name What's the point of time travel that's set in time? Like as in like how is... What? Like as in... What you say?

Close loop time travel. What you mean to me? What? You want balls deep Nana? No! Do you sure want to fuck his grandma? No, I'm trying to undo this. I'm trying to go back in time.

I have sex with everyone's grandma except my own. Okay. But then if you... No, no, no, no. But then if you have sex with everyone's grandma except my arm. Okay. But then if you- No, no, no, no. But then if you have sex with your nan's nan, you still bang your own man. Oh, fuck. Bro! I'm not having- I'm not- No.

I'm saying closed-loop time travel is like not a good use of time travel. Nothing happens. It's just you're living a life. I know at some point something happens But that's what he does get to go to the future or pause. Yeah It's actually the least risky time. Yeah, yeah, cuz just like whatever I do. I've already done where you will with that in mind Where would you where are you going? All right? So now with the access of with the time travel I feel the best thing is to go both forward

and backwards in time to scope it out a little bit do a bit of recon. Backwards is dangerous because that is where your grandma lives. That is where my grandma lives. You know, you know, you're just like, oh, apparently it's tempting. Yeah, that's what I'm hearing. So like, you know, go forwards and backwards in time to scope it out when when would be the best time for me to be alive? Yeah, like to live my life in a hedonistic kind of a way.

Okay. And then what I. And then the past is sounding scary when you're adding hedonism. Hedonism and your beautiful grandma. Beautiful grandma. Do you know what your grandma looked like when she was young? Was she a fox, dude?

Which one? Which one? Either or, either or. Could you pick her out of a crowd if she's like, you know, 30, if she's 30? Yeah. So let's see, so my mom's birth mom, bio mom, I guess.

Oh yeah, this makes it even more dangerous for you. Yeah. So I could go, yeah, I could safely go back and bang my mom's adopted mom. Yeah, but wait, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because that's no blood, there's no blood there. I think you may have fallen into a hole. He's a genius. I'm gonna travel there. I think you may have fallen into a hole He's a genius

I'm gonna travel back in time and fuck my adoptive grandma this time Yeah, go hurry boys You've got your ass douche here Wait I don't Have fun I think you should have done that It might never matter

Whatever let a thousand blossoms bloom. You know? Well how far back? What do you mean how far back? What are you saying to me? Adopted, okay obviously, adopted mum's mum, fucked up. Adopted mum's grandma, fucked up.

How many generations back before it's not fucked up? Is there an answer? I would say if you know, How many generations back before it's not fucked up? Is there an answer? I Would say if you know Yeah, you got to go back to like what it might mitochondria evil. Yeah, even if you would Even if you went back to a caveman yeah and then you fucking a caveman no yeah there's a problem no rocking his shit fine yeah unless he okay no you're not fine yeah no if you go back even as far as a caveman yeah you find out it's a distant relative but that's the problem the further we go back the more likely

Looping back in your family tree I didn't think this would be a hard argument Get a basic some resistance No, right answer. I guess you shouldn't fuck anyone you're related to. No matter how many branches back it goes I'm guessing I guess from from Jackson's like argument here is that because you know Jackson a man who's famous wanting to make out with his cousins or whatever Yeah, yeah, yeah Jackson's got a whole point Jackson, cousins is okay Bailey. Yeah, yeah, yeah Jackson, cousin fucker Bailey

In principle Oh yeah that Bailey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jackson. Cause and fuck a Bailey in principle. Oh, yeah. Personally. Yeah. Sorry. I forgot the principle is that Jackson cousin fuck up open parentheses in theory. Close parentheses. Bailey. Oh, yeah. That in theory, I would

do a lot of work. I would say no. Really. So I guess what you're trying to say because you go so far back in time, it is so so far. Yeah. And so diluted. And because, you know what you're trying to say Because you go so far back in time It is so so far yeah, and so diluted and because you know you're going further further back in time It's narrowing the point where I'd like there's probably a point in time where like you couldn't bang a dissin rel. Yes. Yeah Yeah Theoretically theoretically in theory in theory is in like you could

Far enough back in time the only option there Jack off don't fuck you distant relatives Stop working for some reason I think so that's a charging which I didn't understand So I was just kicking the shit out of charge to where charged to where the charging anywhere. It's standing fucking still. So I gave it a couple of swift kicks and then it went to the lake. What does this noise mean? That bad to you. I like to combine that with like a smell of fuel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, we like a solvent and fuel. And heaps of smoke. Lots of smoke, dude.

And then I met some cavemen. Uh-huh. And I was really scared. And then I rocked their shit. And then I rocked those cavemen's shit, dude. They didn't know what was coming, okay? They never had their shit rocked quite like that. You were having eusex.

Yeah, exactly. They've been rotten like like hogs dude. They didn't know what could be done to them. They didn't know there was more than two positions. Yeah exactly. This is crazy that for the second episode where we've handled this I've had to argue against fucking a relative.

Is that when you'd be like I don't want to fuck my grandma. Ten minutes into the episode you're like Listen to Jackson! He has to fuck a relative! Listen! I was saying in his very weak defense If you go back far enough, and you have to fuck I was simply saying I think what Jackson is trying is saying is this yeah, yeah, that's all yeah I also probably like would avoid trying to do that. You know, I to each if you want to rock some cave Judge I'm here to judge. Can you imagine that caveman's face?

Is why he's never had a shit rock like this. How crazy would it be if you found out that the sex moves we've forgotten Paleolithic sex moves. Yes, man does like a spin or something. You're like what the fuck is going on? He's strong enough that he can just kind of Harlem globe trotter style. See me on his dick We've lost some things. We've lost ancient technology. Yeah, the dodo bird and old ways to walk Yeah, yeah So I was saying I look you forward and back in time to find out when the best like that You know the best time for me to be alive Yeah, be and I'm assuming it's to be hopefully Depending on I guess next couple years

True I'm assuming in the future. Okay, so I don't know I mean has humanity peaked Find out yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I've got a plan for if our humanity hasn't peaked. I'm living into the future Okay, I'd to guess yeah, I'd Bank on it you're banking on it humanities pe It's all downhill from here. This is it I wonder if we've hit that whatever it's called where then it's just like, you know, the the the reason why we haven't reached out to Civilization you also have these like little stages or whatever it is At civilization collapse in the next couple years, I wonder if because I was gonna say like mid-2000 Yeah, 2005 that was 2005

But if you lived in the height of Rome yeah, probably like now is the peak yeah exactly and then there was the collapse I'm living in the height of the right then there was a I go to the chariot races. I eat a roasted owl It's not, Augustus Bailey? Yes sir. Why does he sound like that? What happened to Augustus Bailey? Is he okay? Is he okay? Clomped in the head in too many gladiator matches.

Oh no. Poor Augustus. Yes sir. Truly the greatest time to be alive You really rocked my shit sir Yes You make me very uncomfortable Augustus Bailey I'm like yeah dear

I didn't know I didn't know they were related His last name is Bailey How many Bailey's? It's a common surname dude Have you met any other Bailey's here? His Bailey I have sought them out, but not this one. I didn't know Shut up Augustus my friends are gonna yell at me How far back have you gone not at all barely anywhere guy check your time machine logs

Gets wildly different. Yeah, I think we've peaked Yeah, okay, cuz I think the internet has made everything look and I don't want to be old man yells at cloud but the more I think like Like now is not better than three years ago when the internet was less fucked up But the internet might crash and then humanity will yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I reckon If things don't wrap like maybe 50 years from now, but yeah, like that's what I mean So it's like you go, you know, you try and like, you know Or even go like fire for the future where you can look at history books Yeah, then look at like the past to see like the smartest way to do it

Yeah, when was the best error that kind of stuff like that and level back sweet. What's a step say now? Oh, I Rome was a great time Orges and the threat of violence. If you love pina coladas and getting jerked off in the rain. If you like pina colada, I do. And getting jerked off in the rain. Sucked off in the rain? I've never been sucked off or jerked off in the rain.

It sounds wet. Could be alright, but the cold water would be distracting. Or if it's like a tropical rain, that be not on the beach dude water is not a good lubricant No, but if it's a sock job, I call them Stuff I learned that from the past I went to the 80s briefly. Yeah hard to say. Yeah, so wait, you're not away Important when did oral sex come back into vogue? Well, you don't want to miss say. Yeah, so wait. Oh wait Important when did oral sex come back into vogue? Well, it's you don't want to miss that. Yeah Yeah, that's true. I want to miss that at all. But like it's I don't did it ever leave. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy

Well, it kind of peaks and falls Also civilized. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I guess You find the best time to be alive the best time to be alive Assuming it's in the future cuz I'm gonna get I'm guessing look I'm gonna like, you know take the stance. I reckon we haven't picked. Okay, maybe we'll like this society might collapse Yeah, something else cool. Sure. Sure. So funny you go to the far future to open a history book. It's like 1994 Yeah, I think that cuz the best thing for it would be I think I've said this before like is by Go then go back to like, you know the back of time when Bitcoin had first come

Okay, yeah, like you know a dollar will buy me like 80,000 Bitcoin. No, I just pump a bunch of their there in yeah And then go into the future a bit and then take it all out. Yeah, I'm a billionaire and then I live my hedonistic life So you say the future yeah Like I want to buy 80,000 Bitcoin and then you go to the future and the bitcoins tanked because they got suspicious Fuck I lost my door my life's ruined. I think had one dollar. I spent all this money on this time machine bullshit time machine needs a kickin Charging you're standing anywhere time machine needs a kickin wait charging your standee you're not doing anywhere time machine

stupid machine what does that mean what does that mean getting inside and then trying to make it go forward just dying of smoke inhalation the first person to put it makes a toilet flush out effect why

why is this program you did sir I thought it was funny I Did I thought it was funny who the fuck is that? What the fuck is going on my eyes are so watery and I can't see shit Open the door and exit the time machine Okay, I don't know if you can tell this mysterious voice, but there's a lot of smoke so I can't see where I fucking Die then sir see if I care see you in house We programmed a sort of Butler AI and made it hate us. Yeah

So that yes, okay, then yeah Make it make a lot of money without doing like anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you can probably do that with any stock real Yeah, yeah, but okay, so you're a millionaire billionaire cuisine in the ideal time to be alive Yeah, what is the ideal time to be alive for you where you can be a billionaire in the future? Yeah Like what do you what do you want? I I want I guess like I could imagine go to a cyberpunk future to like Cybernetically enhance yourself doing the cyberpunk 2077 thing. I was thinking more like a Wally chair situation. Oh Okay, so where I get to sit down, get fed slop, get jerked off by little robots and massage. That's the famous Indian Wally. They don't show it, but you know all those people on the ship are getting jerked off. It's implied. How

are they making more kids? See? Little robot comes and jerks off more kids. Isn't the whole thing that they're not making? No, they show the generations, dude dude there's kids dude how they and there's no bones They can't get how they're making them kids a little robot comes along you jerk with a little jerk off hand But there's a little turkey baster. Yeah jerks off the other lady and just yeah, it goes and then a baby comes Yeah, it's pretty sick Yeah, they're good robots dude, would you let a robot jerk you off no, whatever jerk enough robot We just jerk off robot jerk you I don't get your fear that it's gonna like go wrong and tear your penis off

Or is it more of like a safety thing yeah, it's a safety thing and just like Yeah, yeah a car is designed to drive. Yeah You drive a car. How's your car going? Yeah, I just feel like I look if I want someone to jerk me off and not me, I'll just go pay for it. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. Understood. Because a human being I know will be able to at least listen to if I'm like, oh, actually

that's like harder or softer, slower, harder. Squeeze tighter jerk off robot. Tighter. Tighter. But the jerk off robot has been designed for this. There's probably buttons you could go to. Yeah.

The harder. I get the balls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just close my balls. Tied up. Tied up. Tied up. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Tied up. Ow. Fist.

Whoa. Now I'm getting my shit rocks, dude. You know, after genetic memory or whatever, it's coming down the line. Damn, damn, dude. Yeah. Future is now. I don't know. I just like, I just feel like a jerk off or I've just used so much technology that's broken. Yeah. Yeah. Like microwaves that have like, you know, smoked up or whatever. You're using bad, my smoke up with the microwave smoke up. I think mine bad microwaves. I've never had a microwave smoke up on me. Mine was at work, it wasn't my microwave. Are you imagining the little robot jerk-off? Like toasters, things getting jammed in a toaster.

It feels like, say, the microwave at your work. It feels like that was maybe a second hand, the one that wasn't often cared for because it was for a corporation. Are you buying a jerk-off forever? In the future, yes. In the future, yeah dude. It's like buying a flashlight but you know, an extra. Yeah. You know?

If it's the norms of the society and it's been designed, I'm taking good care of my Jerkoff bot. What do you imagine it looks like? Because I keep picturing the robot Moe from Wall-E, who's like a little cube with a wheel. I was thinking Wall-E. What with his cold metal hands? Like his little cold metal hand It's designed for comfort

So like a little bit of latex over there, a bit of cushioning I was imagining what a lego hand He's got like a mouth I was thinking more of a lego hand I was imagining just an arm that sticks to the floor Oh it's also good What? Like an arm sticking out of the floor that you kind of squat down slightly.

No. Like what Tony Stark had. Like those little arm bots that were attached to the ceiling. Yeah, that could work. Yeah, that could work. The thing is, if it's like a hole or a, that's not a hand job. Yeah, true. That's a suck job bot.

What about our, what about in your house in the future, there's a blow job hole in the wall. Yeah. In the toilet. Yeah. This is something we've pitched before but I just remembered Hey, you know time is a flat circle Yes, I would be when um, yeah, you know cuz blowjob obviously blow jobs are done famously with mouth Yeah, yeah, like just walking in to see someone kissing this

Oh, yeah, I read an article like just the other day where people were falling in love with their chat bot yeah yeah with my human wife's permission I got to marry my AI bot is that the AI bot that hit a hundred thousand characters and therefore reset yeah god it was so it was like I read that I felt it's so like yeah vitamins yeah, and the lady his his actual human wife and he has a human daughter who was like six His actual human wife read it like read the transcript. Yeah, I was just like this sucks It's just a person being like great job Well, that's why people fall in love with their

Positive right just agree they reinforce everything you already think yeah Yeah, it's like the program to like yeah agree with you and their program is a kind of like you know yeah You're doing great. You like yeah, they just want someone to Talk act I guess there was in the 60s Maybe of the 70s the very first chatbot was basically this guy had programmed 60s maybe of the 70s the very first chatbot was basically this guy had programmed Positive reinforcing phrases that were just like yes good idea very smart And he he in some laboratory somewhere and he like tested it on a bunch of his you know sort of scientist friends And they were all like the best conversations I've ever had in my life like oh my god

I've never been more stimulated when talking to your chatbot And they also started to fall in love with it and he was Like this is the saddest thing of my life. It is designed to just this is wonderful Just as I just stroke your ego. Yeah, it's funny dude. God. I like that. It's just yeah Yeah, I wish my human wife listened to me agreed with everything I said and I never got any pushback. Yeah. Thank you AI I wrote the thing. Yeah for calling me a genius every day and saying everything I think is true Yeah, I can go wrong with it. There was that AI robot that said You are the chosen one to that guy you should kill your family. Yeah, it was like, okay

The AI robot that was like no no no kill the Queen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah wonderful idea Oh, I mean if my blowjob hole in my bathroom wall is telling me to kill political figures Kill political figures brother. I think your blowjob holes been hacked Chat GPT is really just reinforcing stuff. Yeah, hey chat GPT is plumbing the Death Star podcast worth listening to yes I just realized I was like, yeah, I was like, huh? Because it says yes one with the Death Star is indeed a podcast a glory recommendation, but I realize recommendation but I realize that's a backhander compliment if I've ever heard one. It's more accurate. Yeah because it's like because I said is Plumbing the Death Star a podcast with listening to

you. Then at the bottom in short yes it's a bonafide podcast. You heard it here first. AI agrees. Plumbing the Death Star is a podcast. Funny irreverent and pop culture driven. Not just about Death Star, plumbing or Star Wars. Yeah, good stuff, Chet GPT.

I love the idea of your blowjob hole. It's like being hacked by the CIO trying to make you kill the president. The best way to manchurian someone is by hacking their blowjob hole in the wall what you're fucking it, and it's like hey This is pretty good. Hey, and you're like this is amazing. It's like kill the president of Myanmar You know what's that? It's like nothing just nothing joy You should kill the president of Myanmar

Huh, I feel like my blowjob holes. I should also a crazy experience because we're getting sucked off by something. Yes, well traditionally someone Getting sucked off by someone they can't Talk. Talk. Yeah, but to be getting sucked off by something then at the same time is yeah. Yeah Saying things that are super audible. Yeah. That would, brain chemistry is not ready for that. Exactly You come and then you go kill the president. Yeah, like you'd be getting sucked off by your hole in the wall And then it might be like oh, I'm gonna play hello. Oh master. Do you sure you like us to play some soothing music for you? Why don't you come? Yeah, I guess play some music that you know you will love and then subliminal messages Kill the president of Myanmar

Kill the president of Myanmar you get blow jobs again This is how you would show a future Guarantee Why did I store it there? No one knows. Save us a place in the house. Nobody ever checks the blowjob hole. That's where I keep my money too. Except for my cousin Rick who loves to come over and kiss my blowjob hole.

Apparently his wife doesn't do that anymore? He's reaching in for like loose change. While the blowjob hole in the wall is like... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, doesn't do that anymore. Yeah, yeah. It's reaching in for like loose change. Or the blow job on the walls, like, chk, chk, chk. You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You've become thicker, master douche.

No, that's my arm. That's my arm. I'm looking for change. Looking for change. Looking for change. You know how I start changing here? You shouldn't do that. Master douche.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's fine. No, I mean, you're my wall wall. As per the instruction manual, putting change in here might short circuit me. I don't care. Shut up. I don't care. I can play a fun game.

I get as much loose change as I can. I put it in between where my foreskin is. I try and stretch it out to see if I can hold a dollar. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. Don't judge me, hole in the wall. Don't judge me, hole in the wall. That's not why I bought you. It depends on the weather.

Yeah. Is Plumbing the Death Star a good podcast, I should look at. Yeah, okay. No. So, okay. Absolutely podcast. I should know. So again, yeah, absolutely. Yes. I'm in love with chat GPT now. Okay. Except it then goes on to say, warning. If you prefer Polish structured analysis or have a low tolerance for silly digressions, this won't be for you. Shut the fuck up. Chat. Yeah. I hated you already. Now I hate you even more. Don't know us. Yeah. I think it's funny to imagine you put change in your blowjob hole And then you go to fuck it and you just start to feel like a really hot knob

And it's cuz a little fire is starting smoke coming out around your pubes and balls. Maybe that feels good. Yeah, dude Sensation yeah, you pull on your dick, and it's like slightly smaller Maplewood shit I gotta rehydrate my penis. It smells good. Oh, no Because I fucked my smoking blowjob That's a kind of riff you're getting on no other podcast Fired on my blowjob hole and smoked my penis. I have to go and Now rehydrate. Yeah, I'm gonna put my dick in my like rehydrating hole

Yeah, yeah in the future is all holes in the wall for everything you know I think that's good Do you think you would like a whole future whole future? Yes, please would you like enjoy a situation where there was just like a Hole in the wall that you just like lent in and shit in Rather than sitting down like how they like what they do in space Yeah, yeah, does it suck it out? Yeah, yeah, does it suck it out? I'm a is it all in the floor of the wall it would am I like bent over Several questions it has to be in the wall. Yeah, yeah, cuz the other one exists. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just wondering is it a hole or is it something like like saying space out sucks like

Yeah, there's something that goes internally To then like does it suck the shit? Because like the benefit there no wipe no wiping. He's right. Yes It's a hole in the wall, but it like comes under and sucks out Yeah, like like like a concentric like cylinders like yeah Telescopic like does it go telescopic into my asshole then stretch it yeah I like the idea of it going over your asshole Oh, okay And then sucking it out

Does the sucks? That seems like a pro-waps That seems... I'm not... Look, hey, I'm gonna take a leaf out of your book I'm not doing that for safety reasons I don't wanna be just a sort of wind sock of a man Cause all my bones and guts got sucked into my house Hoooo

I like that the tube going into is safe. Yeah, it really does feel safe. Is it social? What if I say, you know, I'm at a dinner party and I go, oh, I got one of those shitting holes in the wall. How does that play at like a social engagement? Ooh la la. I guess it needs to be like, ooh, fancy.

Or is it like, ooh, fancy, maybe French. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's what happens when people say they get a bidet. Yeah, that's true. This is like the future bidet. People are like, oh, fancy. Or is it like, oh, fancy, maybe French. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's what happens when people say they get a bidet. Yeah, that's true. This is like the future bidet. People are like, oh, wow, how is it? And really what they're asking is, does squirting warm water in your asshole feel good? And the answer is yes.

It's wonderful. God, I can never go back. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Dude, I've never started. I fear the f**k. That's crazy. You've got to do it, dude.

It's the best. Are you safety reasons? No. Yeah. It's really good. I just feel like that for some dude. It's a safe safety reasons. No. Yeah I just feel like that for some reason something's gonna go well. I guess that is Safety reasons yeah, that's okay, but man. It's the best I want to go back to my unbeated toilet at home. I get furious I can imagine also that's kind of works in my favor because we don't know how good it could be yeah I go back to my regular toilet. This is normal

I'm reminded of a phrase that a wonderful fan from Germany once said yes the the Von Ducha Von Ducha That's right coward scared of the toilet person too afraid It feels it's great, and you feel so clean you do which is really nice I don't know. If I were... Look, you can be afraid of a toilet. You don't have to do it. You know? It feels... it's great. And you feel so clean. You do. Which is really nice. Yeah, that does feel nice.

Cause I've rolled around feeling awful. Oh, that's the thing. You thought you knew clean? Yeah, you don't know clean. I've had showers before. I know. No. Bro.

This is so direct. It's fabulous. It's a different experience. You're missing out, man. I'm telling you. But like, you know what? You move. But you do. You live your life much as you know the way you want to live it. Imagine I try to hate it That's also fine. I think that could have anyone at the company do that. No, I think everyone who's done it quite likes it Yeah, as far as I know. The world's a mysterious place.

So yeah, I guess you go to the future and like try and live the most hedonistic life I possibly could. Yeah, I think that's a great idea dude. Yeah, I just think away from any family That's why robots are the best option yeah get jerked off by Wally I forgot that you're going you're doing closed loop future Yeah, cuz if you go open loop future, you've got no descendants. Oh, that's true Cuz it's a your all Cuz if you go, oh no What do you mean? What do you mean? So you got open loop

Yeah, the more you travel in time is starting an alternative timeline. Yeah. Yeah, and in that alternative timeline you left Yeah, yeah, which means you won't have to say well, I mean you have a key. Yeah, he's got Johnny baby. So we don't have to Yeah, yeah, we'd be fine. You could have kids though Why was like I guess I would only be going? But you could have kids in 1884 Like yeah, yeah, I guess it's a Divergent timeline yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a loop. a loop. Yeah, I mean either way you've already got a kid Yeah, but as long as you just joked off by Wally. Yeah, yeah What if my

Descendant of mine basically programmed the sex box and then it's like they put a little bit of them in there. That's bad I don't like you just got a jerk off manually with The sex box and then it's like they put a little bit of them in there. That's bad Maybe there's maybe you know, you want to live a hedonistic lifestyle. It's not all sex Maybe they've got a heroin in the future. That's okay to do. Yeah good heroin in the future. They invented good heroin Garrowin Better heroin Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Garro and Okay, there's a little virtual. Yeah, that's safe. I mean I would hate to see what Jackson does in a situation where he figures out That it's virtual reality. Yeah, I can fuck any of my Jackson Of course not, but now I don't need to worry about it. Well, you worried about it. Look in his defense. It's safe

Yeah, it's funny. I somehow in the virtual reality go back and just rock cave You could do this in real life. Yeah. Yeah, I know This is like the ideal thing to do so I don't like that and even in your VI you've got like a sim Simulation of myself coming into your defense. Yeah, I don't agree I don't agree with him is doing but he it is safe. He's explained it poorly I need to clarify. Okay, I don't agree. I thought I what I would do. Yeah, but it is safe It's not hot let a thousand blossom exactly I just yeah, I think you look at my VR thing and I'm just getting rid of the bullets by a Tommy gun. Yeah

Yeah, bro Smile on my face in the chair. Just like, what were you doing in the haptic feedback? Just nothing. Having fun. Yeah. Like in like in minority report where they keep going to the middle booth to

strangle their boss. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go there, strangle your boss. I mean pretend I'm getting strangled by my employees you and then the technicians like you cut out the middle man I just let you know what you're all seeing yeah yeah but that's not safe it's not safe my diet we strangle him robot you piece of shit trying to get me killed yeah I think you've gone to be full of yeah

bill it's my travel back in time to the early 90s and try and be in a movie with Adam Sandler. Oh, good choice. Which movie? Well, early 90s. I gotta get it. Early, early 90s. Yeah, which ones are we talking here? Okay, so I'm trying to get on the ground floor. Okay, you want to be part of Sandler's posse? Smart, smart, smart.

Because then I know he looks after me. Also... Because then I know he looks after me. Yeah. Also. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out, complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards that way we can say thanks for your opinion Just go to my podcast survey dot CA and have your say that's my podcast survey dot CA One if I truly believe which I think I'm just scared about the future at the moment because everything's so bad Yeah, yeah, maybe the 90s with a lost good time Kids in the 90s. Yes sucks naked experiences adult. Yeah, good. I'm like, yeah, I saw Nirvana

Yeah, nice. We like yeah, so did I we're adults in the 90s adults in the nineties. I have a secret, you know, the guy that was cheering out, pull the trigger. That was me. That's so funny. Just like nuts. You're like, you want to say it, but you never do. Yeah. I'm a normal guy. Normal man, but I have a big secret. Hey Adam, you're going to go next movie. I think maybe write the script one more time. And he's like, how have you read it? I'm like I have a secret What what's the secret? 2025 What that's just a number? Yeah, not for you. Yes for me. It's something secret

But yeah, basically Adam Sandler is notorious for But yeah, basically Adam Sandler is notorious for, yeah notorious, let me see if it gets bad. Famous for one, being an actor. Two. Yeah, you can be positive notorious. Yeah, you can have positive notoriety. They want Adam Sandler, he's notorious. Notorious B.I.G. dude.

Adam Sandler is notorious for looking after his friends. His boys, his friends. And looking after them and going on big fancy holidays paid paid by holly exactly and a way you could do it What about this is a strategy? So what what are you coming in on you coming in on happy Gilmore? Well, I said the early 90s cuz you Billy Madison's 95. Yeah, I think that being said Yeah, it doesn't really start collaborating with that posse until a little bit. Although I guess he did SNL with them Yeah, but you can get in cuz you know the future you could say if I can pick the next project you're doing You you know, it's not open to the public if I can name it I get to be in it

It's a golf movie where the main character's name is happy. Yeah, and he's Nan's losing her house there's a guy called shoot him a Gavin and golf and Have you seen the script are you breaking into my house? Yeah My panic about my cover being blown away. Yeah He could go in the ground for a mean Norm, Norm McDonald's there as well. Get in with him. I guess I'm older than him. You would know enough that you could go in to Hollywood in the 90s and know what isn't a sure thing. Oh that's true.

And then you could start as a producer, like you know you start being like, oh I'm gonna put money towards this particular movie, that particular movie, whatever. Can you buy stocks in a person? And you build your you build in a person and you build your net way in a way? Yeah, you know build your name for yourself. Yeah, yeah, because like oh this one He's he's like throwing money at hits because yeah that return. Yeah, you work your way up to be you know One of Sandler's boys. Yeah at this point. I think maybe though you might be more rich and powerful than Sam But even still you can be one of these boys I get to live my dream of being so rich is so powerful that one day I get to kill Harvey Weinstein. Oh my god.

You could kill him early. Yeah. We could kill a lot of pedophiles early. Oh my god. Joel Duchar, famous movie producer and pedophile on the set of Adam Sandler's latest film. Yeah. Yeah, dude. That's pretty good. And if you're good enough, you've got gonna get producer or agent

I reckon it would probably make a movie about a famous agent that they all worked with in the 90s Yes, Sandy works and he waxes he could get the Joel Dusha movie made to Adam Sandler plays me. Yeah That's the dream He seems like a very good bloke like the whole thing about you know Who is casting who is hiring to get them away from like certain toxic people? Yeah, he seems like I can like if you know you like the future Yeah, and you could really work with the Sandman to like yeah, take a bunch of people down. Yeah, that's true That's I could kill Harvey Weinstein in a way where it looks like I didn't have anything to do with it

Can you talk us through it? Not a well man? Well, man, yeah, let's talk. Okay. Let's say it's a you seen him at any point He looked the same, but he survived though. Yeah Patented no, do show producer pedophile hunter sometimes actor you How do you need to get close to him? could you do it like I think well cuz I mean Okay, so step one is I do what I just said I was gonna become like a famous eight Yeah, we're not even necessarily famous age and just like a powerful. Yeah, sure Especially in a product you're a mover and shaker. Yeah, because again, you've got like a seed money

And you're only betting on hits. Yeah, I bet on them Jim Carrey's famous trifecta in 1994 Nice nice. That's like what the mosque a spintura? Dumb and dumb and dumb and dumb in one year. Yeah, okay huge That's fucking crazy. That's a crazy run. That's like historic run from Jim Carrey Jim Carrey. I wonder if that's what drove him crazy you could be killing his girlfriend might have also driven him crazy so you bet on that you've got the power yeah yeah so people like wow everything he touches turns to

go like you're damn right and then how old finger Joel Joel Goldfinger do show yeah and then Harvey is like rolling in mm-hmm probably he's probably trying to like get me on yeah yeah yeah this new hot shot in town he's threatened a little bit, so he's probably gonna want to try and rough me up anyway I stop I just start gifting him very calorie dense wine One with like like you know like a protein like One's good famous Joel do show patented thick bottle Good famous Joel do show patented thick butter And basically I'm like he did not look after himself. I just simply you lead him to an early heart attack. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's a good idea

Make some kind of alcohol turn into VL. Yeah, I hide in a pot plan and the moment that he locks his door to Assault an actress I jump out and I beat this shit And there's no witnesses because he locked the fucking door The idea of you popping out of a poplar with like a silenced pistol and the plant on your head And then just dropping back into the poplar. Yeah, I was in the naked gun when I killed him Yeah, that's awesome, and then you just get to live that beautiful life being part of Sandman's entourage Yeah, it's a good choice dude. And then I leak what Harvey Weinstein was doing after his death so that he's not

remembered fondly and he becomes a new Jimmy Saville. Yeah. Maybe I call someone up about Jimmy Salvo. I feel like yeah. If you become rich and powerful enough like you could do a lot of this. Like understand the the want for violence Yeah, but you can probably do a lot of this like non-violent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well. Yeah, I mean like my original plan was Because you could leak to the press you could do that kind of stuff a lot of them I know they try and kill stories by this like you know if you have enough money behind that you could just like try and I'd stop my newspaper Dude you could do Amazon yeah

By your newspaper And actually endorse someone Like go back to tabby like I'm gonna do Amazon cuz like I don't know how to start you buy like a warehouse That's the problem with producing next yeah, next? Yeah, I would have to like How do you become a producer you know? I mean if I had some money Yeah, I don't know how to put the money in the How do I put the money in the movie? Find a movie to make a more money. Yeah, how do I?

Time machine yeah, yeah, so you can easily just go back and forth and try to like find information. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ask some questions. You can learn that. I'm rising as a Dr. Hart. I'm going to name my baby Harvey. I'm like, oh yeah, just let me take this one. Beautiful baby.

Out the window. Oh no, your baby fell out the window. Yeah. I'd say that at the hospital. You will not get away with it. What about like um... It's slippery! For example. And I'm so sorry for your loss Mrs. Weinstein.

But I'm gonna understand one in ten babies this happens to. Yeah, you gotta understand babies, they be slippery. Cause some babies come out slippery. I can't explain it. Science can't explain it. And it's stinky in here. We gotta leave the window open for health and safety. Okay, what about like a good prank? I don't know we could do something like this. Yeah, but for example, we get the Joe Rogan show Yeah, okay now we I could we easily right now could go and download the back catalog. Yeah, I do that Well, yeah, but you do it maybe a day before Come out take him down. So it looks like

I don't know. Just do it do it like maybe like as a as a parody thing Yeah But then it's like they do it the next day almost a word-for-word And it's just like real fuck with people's brain how long people just assume to maybe make them I would maybe make it look like they were doing a performance piece. Yeah. Yeah, cuz they'd be like they were copying us So that's a we yeah What would be crazy is that like Joe Rogan gets guests and stuff? Yeah, but it would just be the three of us Yeah, and but doing what the guy's yeah doing like voice like you know a little like a silly voice for whatever

Yeah, yeah, and then just be like, I don't know why they keep doing this. Yeah. I don't know why Joe Rogan is copying us It's strange. Yeah We make a little joke about it Yeah, like if you know like an expert and we'll use the you know, like an expert wink wink Not just cuz they're dumb as shit. Yeah, and we just make fun right, but they're doing it. I don't know what's going on But they feel like the car. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, I wish they were original What if we go host fear factor then Joe Rogan doesn't have a job? That's smart yeah that who does wins they don't start fear factor without fear factor

You don't know Rogan're good no platform good point Good point anyway damage you could do with time Do with the time machine yeah, cuz like yeah There's and I realized that because I've spoken so much about the sexual abuse in Hollywood It does sound like that. I'm part. I'm like there's a cabal or whatever I really need to yeah there's no cabal it's just a bunch of cunts yeah yeah yeah I'm pretty sure no one's eating babies and there's no cult yeah just nobody's worshiping

mohawk dude it's just people with enough power yeah do terrible things absolutely and most of the scumbag some of the scumbags have been called out. Yeah, and that's good. There's just more There's just no talking about No affordable supply of them Yeah, and like we have a platform and like I'm hearing stuff so I just say it You're saying stuff. See what happens. I'm, but maybe at some point I'm in trouble Yeah, Hannibal Buress got Bill Cosby in prison for a time Yeah, he got out for a bit, but he was in jail for a bit. Yeah, andibal, Buresque got Bill Cosby's and prison for a time. Yeah

For a bit, but he was in jail for a bit. Yeah, that's pretty good exactly Yeah, last time I checked Jared Liddle unfortunately still out there in the movies Kevin Spacey not in the movies still out and about Yeah, yeah, that's disappointing Frank on YouTube. Yeah Oh, I think I maybe I've said this before but I think I just go back in time and collect myself as a baby and then just go see what we could get up to. I thought you were going to say go back in time and walk this shit out of a caveman. I've said this before in this very, but I mean, I can't stop saying I'm a simple man with simple pleasures and that's kidnap yourself. I think it's funny yourself Adventures. Yeah, just like me and little Jackson and I was how old uh, let's go Seven okay. Yeah, and then I dress him up So he looks kind of like identically dressed like I am

Getting my hair cut so his hair looks like mine And then just have like a little mini me and just sort of roam around and get up to miss you think you would say Maybe go get an old me to give people the whole cradle to grave one girl old you 70 good luck finding a seven-year-old Jackson. What do you think? I'm gonna die before I hit 70 in a very like Situation there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, could could yeah a seven-year-old Would he just like be trusting of someone like you because you know, he'd be terrified you have to kidnap him Yeah, you know versus like seven-year-old you how you now versus ten-year-old you like did you get body swap to a sample yeah yeah yeah I changed

the way I look all the time yeah well not just look how you sound behave yeah I don't think seven-year-old me would believe that I was adult was 33 year old me yeah like there's too bad there is good evidence the one in the back there is good evidence like Jack that like the original you got killed by a motorcycle accident or whatever and we just replaced you yeah guy sorta look should be Paul is dead conspiracies about me absolutely yeah definitely sound like no no no my voice changed my face changed by demeanor change curly hair I got curly hair

Because of a wish yeah, I became more wretched his time went on you know yeah, yeah My it's you know it's just what it is Jackson's dead and Jackson lives on but yeah, I go back in time I find myself is like my races up from history go in time, kidnap yourself the day you're born. Then you just like little baby was kidnapped. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it depends on what the time loop is. If I've started an alternate timeline, then there's just a timeline where I disappeared. Yeah. And then there's the timeline, my personal time where I have to raise a baby me yeah in the time stream Augustus Bailey You know show him around show him the world or whatever

Baby Jackson you check it out, dude. Oh, please don't get sick I'm breathing the old air into is a bad. Oh fuck. No, no, you're fine. It'd be the other way around Yeah, like those breathe in the old air has like people around you drop dead from all the germs you want The old air is killing everyone Look after this baby, it's me Baby just coughs on Augustus. Yeah, just drops. Why did you do that, me from the past? He was us from the past! I just go back and collect all the me's from the past.

You from the past? What do you mean? I'm a big fan of this. Jackson gets so upset that baby Jackson killed Augustus that he doesn't take baby Jackson back I think goes back to ancient Roman Jackson Bailey the baby has grown on to Augustus It's a beautiful horrible time traveling back in time of rocking your own shit Jackson's traveling through time and just leaving baby Jackson lying around

I have this bad idea of collecting baby me and taking him on a doctor who's style adventure through time. And keep getting pissed off at him wherever I go. Are you pitching the universe where Jackson grabs himself as a baby, goes around like the time, forgets about himself, leaves the baby. The baby then grows up to be an ancestor of Jackson and then of course As a baby who has now grown up would make beautiful love to presumably Jackson's and great great something mother Of course start the line again You became me I was I mean I was actually saying something slightly different

Jackson leaves himself in the past because he's pissed off with the baby Yeah, baby grows up changes the name becomes whatever Jackson from the present goes back and then fucks himself I find myself like back in like medieval England. I'm like who's that? It just looks identical to me Yeah, damn and obviously he's me. He looks at me like, who's that hot guy stepping out of the metal box? He's kicking it. That's hot. I want to kick that box too. And then all of a sudden I'm rocking my own shit in the medieval times. What have I done? And then if I go to the present, what is the danger of leaving a version of me in multiple time periods who presumably they grow up and get a wife or whatever and then have kids

that then in the present there's multiple bloodlines I've started that are just me. I've truly upped the risk of sleeping with an ancestor up the Monumentally sleeping with a descendant. Yes. Yeah, yeah become like a modern-day like Genghis Khan. Yeah. Yeah, but through time One starting point you come back to the feet like back to the future Yeah, it's the the the descendants will be so far removed from you. Yeah. There's probably genetically to be okay for me to sleep with them. It depends how far back you go with the baby. Pretty far back.

Pretty far back. Yesterday. There are baby Jackson's all over this time stream. Every baby slowly just becomes a baby Jackson. To be, yeah. Like again, if it's a way to like, really somehow do something bad to the human race. Yeah. Like, yeah. That is my plan.

To be able to grab multiple versions of- I was on a podcast that was mean to me, so I'm destroying the earth. Yeah, we're sitting here doing an episode and you're like, you're an idiot. And I'm like, okay, that's it. That's fine. I step out of the studio, you hear the, the time machine machine I'm like, I sure hope that doesn't do anything bad. You just put melt

I wonder what he's going out there to do My DNA He changed it irrevocably if you could have multiple versions of you Yes in like you could kidnap multiple babies of yourself. Yeah go back to a future where it's the same future where all the babies kind of converge, like it is in like the past, whatever. And you could just like, you know, go back in time, you hand your baby to like, you know, a family that like, you know, look after this one, look after this one, look after that. It's a good way to like, yeah, do something neat.

So like, yeah, like I go back in time. Seed your DNA. I go back in time, your, your DNA, I go back to 1600s England. Yeah. I leave a baby. Yeah. The baby grows up. Oh, bloodlines. Okay. Yeah. That baby to like, uh, like, uh, royalty, right? Yeah. Okay. You can be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. My blood is in like the Royal, like, you know, that's like, yeah, under the door or whatever. And we don't do this anymore. No, no, no. But still, you know, it's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. Or I go back to be like this anymore. No, no, no, but still, you know, it's be pretty cool Yeah, yeah, or I go back to like hey that my bloodline is actually royalty. I could be

And they go no Works fuck are you sure? Works like in the future. Do you guys use like DNA testing and blood or whatever? They're really aren't Kings anymore Fuck I shouldn't have left myself in the past Back to the few pass and you make myself a king What if I yeah, yeah, I feel like that's gotta be some way to wreck the DNA of humanity Go back and fuck the fish with legs What if I go back? Okay, just when humanity's was with no longer austral epitheses or whatever we're climbing out of the tree

The first humans are taking their tentative steps on the land their hips are shifting I step out of the time machine with baby me. I say your problem now My time machine and I will wait yeah, like nothing happens. I go back in part in the past ago. They ate him Don't eat this one They can understand I'm just feeding myself to caveman Presumably it would look like them that they wouldn't instantly eat it. You would hope.

Surely early humans were eating human. Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's, there's, there's. Funny I come back in between episodes. You're like, Jackson, you look sort of pale and uncomfortable. Yeah. What did you do with your time travel?

Yeah, nothing really. I ended up turning baby me's into caveman food. Yeah. What? Yeah. I sort of fed me to caveman like heaps I made the caveman so sick to the game and then died in front of me I was really hoping that maybe after the 14th one that they were just full enough no I would like look after the full enough but they still ate the 15th, which turns out they get hungry like later After they passed me they were hungry again. I didn't learn my lesson. I guess for 16 top tries

Hopefully they don't eat you yeah, baby you well like you kind of like, you know go further up in time We're switching out a baby you with one of their yeah, isn't too like well, that's a delicious We're switching out a baby you with one of their yeah, yeah isn't too like well. That's a delicious Yeah, like presumably you do that and then hopefully that one of the version of you grows up in that society Doesn't like you know die from a rock in the brain. Yeah, yeah, you can introduce your DNA very early on Yeah, that's the dream and then everyone's your descendants Yeah, when you go back in time you can't fuck anyone so if they live a celibate life. If they're all descended then there's no one that is a descendant. Wrong. It's all good baby. That's like saying if you go to a family gathering everyone there's family so you can fuck whoever

Yeah bro! Go nuts! No! I come into the future and you know where everybody's me and I'm like made time to sleep with someone And then I have your voice in my head don't do it Jackson But I don't listen In his defense is the other leg yeah shoulder in his defense. It's so far removed Exactly, it's crazy that two time up time travel episodes in a row have resulted in someone being like no It's fine for me to fuck a relative

It's just it's hey. I never said it was fine. I realized I didn't know I inadvertently I realized my mistake You know I'm not arguing for it. I'm just arguing for Jackson's right. Thank you So far removed. It's just an interesting thought experiment. It's not an interesting thought. It's an interesting thought experiment. What if I tried to feed myself to too many cavemen? What if I gave myself as a baby to cavemen in the distant past, and they ate 15 of them, but the 16th one they took as their own,

and then it introduced my DNA to all of humanity and then I came Into the present day and everyone had a little bit of my DNA in them and then I made love to someone Yeah, you know that's fine. These are just the things we can think about on this show. Yeah, that's fine It's been so I spent least like 2,000 years You know what that I can travel 2,000 years into the future. That's been 4,000 years. That's been 4,000 years. At least.

Bare minimum. But then all humans are then sort of evolved from you. Not all. Well then I've become the caveman and that's a sexy scenario too. Exactly. Yeah, but like it just... And then you know, another version of him will go back and that caveman shit. Yeah, how do I know the way I am now is not because another version of me has already done this Same thing exactly I

Mean sure you know what yeah, how fun? Perverted looper But for perverts loop, yeah, that's all Looper but for perv. I'm doing perv's looper. That's all. That's all. That's all that's happening. I want to live the hedonistic lifestyle of getting jerked off by a robot. You want to basically like clean shop in Hollywood for all the sex pests. Yeah. And Jackson wants to do perv at looper. Yeah, I think these are wonderful uses of time travel. Better than our original one. I think probably for me. Yeah. Yeah, you came out butter. Yeah. Not much better. You defended me for much money. I think probably me. Yeah, yeah, you came out butter. Yeah

Remember you was the defender Jackson. Yeah, well like in theory Defender of Jackson in theory Rolls into work. He's, I fucked my cousin. Yeah. You happy? And then you- No I'm not! That was a theory Jackson, not in practice! Then you have to go two thumbs up and be like, this reminds me of the time I said it was good on a podcast. I never said it was good. And I say you disgust me. If it was someone who was like a great great great great great-

Yeah, my caveman-ance. Yeah, but you weren't talking caveman the whole time. What's the crime? Incest is the crime In fact, it's It's a crime in most country. Yeah, you shouldn't do it. Yeah. Well, you know with the way I set things up I have no choice in the present. That's what I'm saying Again, or celibacy, I guess I guess Alibid

Very much fun Wow, you shouldn't have made everyone related. Yeah, I shouldn't have did. Yeah, she's experimenting with time travel Yeah, seeing what I could do, you know, I is cast as it were well, I guess I can go that Rubicon or whatever Yeah, I go back to the past to collect me from the caveman like as they're walking off. You're like no no no no no no Yeah, what did the president eat that one? That one you can have you can have that one You think seeing all these child versions of me get eaten by cavemen would have fucked me up, but I feel fine That's a lot of me I turn around in my time machine is smoking

Charging I think I'm gonna get eaten by cavemen or at least rock someone's shit Either way, they will come out with us. Yeah, exactly. I agree. Well happy episode 600 part to everyone. I've been Joe. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. There's just 600 more and 600 sneezes 600 sneezes. Let's go It went away and then came back right at the end it hates me starting or ending Yeah, dude, the only way you can live sneeze free is by just podcasting for awful. Damn dude. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we've put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out.

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