Plumbing the Death Star - Which Cautionary PSA Could You Star In?

Episode Date: August 9, 2020

Grab the Live Plumbing Boys Play/Ruin D&D as a VOD here!Sign up to our newsletter here. Join our facebook group here.You can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073.Want to help support the show?Sanspants+ | Shop | TeesWant to get in contact with us?Email | Twitter | Website | Facebook | RedditOr individually at;Jackson | Duscher | ZammitTheme music by the wonderfully talented Benny Davis! You can find all his stuff at his website or check out his YouTube channel. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Saz Pants Radio, Australia's most family-friendly podcast network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, which cautionary PSA could you star in? All right. So, like, I think, so, of course, your PSA has to be one that I can, you know, relate to myself right now. And one of the biggest kind of problems I've had in past relationships and interpersonal skills is that I'm a bit of a workaholic. You know, I put too much stock in... Depressing start to the episode. Zammett reveals his broken relationships. Just to clarify before we begin.

So we are picking a PSA, public service announcement. It's like a very special episode. So we're picking a kind of problem or a kind of thing we need to be cautioned against and a fictional character or a TV show to teach us that lesson yes that's that's kind of the operation here yeah that's what i'm i'm thinking that's how i'm interpreting okay yeah great no just just needed just needed a little bit of clarification that's fine hey jackson ring ring ring ring hello hello jackson bailey this is This is not Joel Dusha. Who is this? This is a fella from the government. Hey, Plumbing the Death Star has been hired to do a very special episode or a PSA to warn people. You should call my boss, Joel Zammett, not me.

He didn't answer his phone. I think he's at work. How did you get this number? Hello? Great question. I'm the government. These things just happened for me. Okay.

When I think of a number, I just get it. Sorry, I'm cooking in the background. If you can hear sizzling. I'm making a panini. Oh, what's in the panini? Don't you have something to ask me, the government? Well, yeah. My question is now, what is in the panini? This is it. Are you sure you're from the government? You don't you have something to ask me the government well yeah my question is now what is in the panini this is it are you sure you're from the government you have any proof yeah i've

faxed you through my badge anyway a badge you faxed a badge yes honey i think i'm being scared can you check the fax machine for a for a badge oh my god it's real i'm so sorry mr government what do you need i need plumbing the death star to make a psa about whatever they want whatever you choose but we need you to help the youth stay less dangerous okay government mandate contacting anyone, like an entertainment organisation, being like, we need you to do a PSA. Your choice. Whatever you do.

We don't think it's a problem. Go out there, have fun. Is there a problem right now that you think, as the government, that we should be focusing on? No. No. Oh, we're thanking you. You got it.

Well, thank you, Mr. Government. As I said, I'm a bit of a workaholic. It has been a bit of a problem. And so I think a great PSA would be to not work so much and to, like, enjoy, you know, stop and, you know, smell the flowers, basically. Like, enjoy life as it was. And I think the best way for this to happen.

Yeah, live in the now. I think the best way for this to happen. Yeah. Yeah, live in the now. And I think the best way for this to happen would be a very special episode of The Nanny, where I play one of Mr. Sheffield's playwright of friends and kind of rope him into helping write the next great play. And I think Fran Fine, The Nanny, would be the perfect person to kind of explain to me that I need to stop and enjoy life, live in the now.

And through me, Mr. Sheffield will also learn that lesson. So it's a bit of a twofer. Yeah, that's great. It's easy to imagine. You gotta stop going to work and fuck your boss instead.

That's the only way You gotta fuck your boss Because you're in love with your boss Friend fine What? Excuse me? Watch out CC Hello I'm Joel Samet We haven't met

What? So I think it'd be great Oh Mr. Samet I think it'd be great It'd be me There'd be like a big desk And. Oh, Mr. Zammit. I think it'd be great. It'd be me. There'd be like a big desk and both myself and Mr. Sheffield. We'd be like spitballing ideas.

And it'd be like a crazy, like basically I'm imagining almost like a sequel to Cats, like a Cats 2 that we've come up with. Because it's always having a bit of a rivalry with Andrew Lloyd Webber in the series. So something like that. Maybe like Andrew Lloyd Webber could guest star in that episode as well to be like, I need to do a sequel to Cats 2. And so, you know, he's hired on his protege, me. And so me and Miss Sheffield have to kind of like write this kind of crazy script.

You know, Niles might get on my nerves or i'll get on his nerves gonna be well i sort of i sort of picture niles and cc oh it's gonna be yeah of course i would love to see this episode of the nanny uh i i really like the idea of fran fine and niles having a conversation and niles in his kind of droll butler way being like i don't understand why he's doing cats too nope literally nobody wants that play nobody in the history of the world, Fran Fine, has ever wanted a sequel to Cats. I think that would be a good scene. And it's true. It's very true.

How do you... Okay, so let's nut out the episode. So it's gotta begin I think with Fran Fine establishing that maybe already Mr. Sheffield isn't showing her enough attention. Oh, Mr. Sheffield, you gotta stop going to work. Or something along the lines of,

he's just come off writing a really big play or something like that, so he's already gone through the motions of being too much involved with work and he's not spending time with the kids. I think I want to, in the run of the show, I want to set this toward the end where there will they won't they fran fine mr sheffield relationship has become they will and they're together because i think that suits it better okay and i agree and i like the idea of it's sort of like the beginning is maybe mr sheffield being like fran i'm so glad

to have finally finished that big play now we can go on that holiday I've always promised you. Oh, Mr. Sheffield. Ding dong. And that's the door. And then you come in and the crowd. It's Joel Zammett, famous, famous podcaster, I guess. I'm so excited. He's on my favorite TV show, The Nanny.

Yes. And then Mr. Sheffield, this is my good friend friend Joel Zammett. And you're like, I've got the greatest idea for a play ever. Remember Cats? What about Cats 2? I've got the rights to the sequel! That's good. I knew you were just shoving

a whole bunch of papers in Mr. Sheffield's hands. Like the sitcom doesn't understand what the rights to a play are or look like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I imagine something kind of like a rolled up scroll that I just go like... Yeah, you've got the rights to Cats 2. Well, Fran, you understand.

And then off they go to their... And this could be his big break because he's just like, oh, you know, giving it like a big fuck you to Andrew Lloyd Webber like he always wants to. Absolutely. This is going to be great. Finally, Fran, I can write the worst play ever

and tarnish the reputation of the first movie, the first play, by making a sequel that is very terrible. And I can put it right up to that Mr. Andrew Lloyd Webber's arsehole. This is a controversial episode of The Nanny. It's the first episode of The Nanny to feature Mr. Sheffield Saying arsehole Andrew Lloyd Webber Described himself as personally offended

By the episode So how are we going to illustrate that Mr. Sheffield is being Tainted by your workaholic So what's going to happen, it's going to be that kind of thing Where it's, not quite like a montage, but like a couple of like different scenes that kind of build it up to be like,

you know, obviously this is not the first time it's happened or like the first time you show, but then it kind of keeps going on. Yeah. Okay. So like, for example,

like a lovely date that they've gone, like a very fancy restaurant that they've had to like book, you know, months in advance. And so it's just the two of them and then i rock up a bit like unshaven unkept pull up the seat they're having like spaghetti or whatever i put my fork into one of them and be like oh eating spaghetti have a big slap of that put down my like like my like um like 2009 apple air or whatever it is old and ratty slam that down a couple of like legal pads

full of notes and be like anyway for act four and i'm like talking about i got a i got a new cat for you mr sheffield we call him figgle hop the chicken cat and you slam down a hasty sketch in the middle of their garlic bread or whatever thank you friend and friend, and you eat her spaghetti. I like that Zammett has a laptop in this, indicating that maybe this is a revival episode. The nanny came back and they could swear. That's what happened.

The nanny is back with cussing. Oh, Mr. Sheffield, you stupid cunt. Whoa, the nanny's cool Australians in the UK audience love it Americans on the fence This is not what I wanted out of a nanny reboot at all

That's a great as well Because it not only isn't a nanny reboot It's an alternate timeline nanny reboot From our timeline, that's good So there's like that kind of a situation And it kind of a situation and it kind of like escalates a bit further like imagine they they're kind of revamping it as well maybe they're going on like a little romantic airbnb away and like they're both in their robes obviously there's

some kind of like allusions to being like maybe they just fucked or whatever you know those kind of like little sly wink and nods that the nanny absolutely loves yeah so after that maybe they're even like just come out of a jacuzzi or something and sure enough i burst in the door like you know imagining marinara stains on my shirt like hey friend how you going anyway oh we're getting in the tub i start disrobing and i've got some great ideas and marinara oil and sauce filling the tub from your pants, which you didn't take off. Joel Zaman is playing Jackson Bailey in this episode. Eating nothing but spaghetti and thinking nothing but cats.

That's great. Just kind of like inadvertently third wheeling it, but like not deliberately. I just am very excited about the play uh and so getting in there getting like all these like notes and that kind of wet from the jacuzzi splashing and then like obviously like but the problem here is while fran is getting more and more annoyed with me mr sheffield is kind of becoming more and more like yes like he's enamored with the idea he's starting writing down notes while also in

the jacuzzi you know we have like you know like scrunched up paper just kind of floating around crossing crossed arms in her bikini can i can i can i pitch you a scene okay so it's um we we open on fran fine or we open a mr sheffield and fran fine and they're about to get intimate fran fine is in some very sort of silky negligee. Maybe Mr. Sheffield's in just like some nice pajamas, and they're clearly about to kiss. And then you knock on the door, and you're like, oh, can I just talk to you for a moment, Mr. Sheffield?

And he's like, I'll be back in just a moment, Fran Fine. And then they leave, and then we get like an hour later on the screen, and it's Fran Fine lying in bed, clearly very sexually frustrated, and the sounds of a cat song coming from above as you two stomp around singing. Yeah. Fingal hop, the chicken cat, the chicken cat, the chicken cat. May I suggest another little quick amendment to that one scene? Yeah, please.

An hour later, she's very sexually frustrated, hearing all that kind of stuff. She stomps up and opens the door and is like, Mr. Sheffield, your dinner's getting cold. Oh! Like, a little bit of euphemism there. That's the rudest thing I've ever heard. And very dismissive, Mr. Sheffield is like, it's okay, Fran. You can order Uber Eats. I'll eat later.

Just put it in the fridge. I'll have it tomorrow. And then Fran Fine crosses her arms again and there's a ooh. Maybe there won't be a tomorrow Mr Sheffield And there's me pouring over a script What's for dinner? What are we eating? Can you heat me up some? Yeah that'll be great

And maybe because it's more modern and they can swear now Instead of an ooo the audience is like We want Fran Fine's pussy eat Maybe that's what is yelled by the crowd Instead Rather than an applause sign for the audience like we want fran finds pussy eat maybe that's what is yelled by the crowd instead rather than an applause sign for the audience it's we want fran pussy at yeah absolutely that's that's it's a more modern take it's a sexy horny modern take on the nanny that's exciting okay so at what point do you learn the lesson because that's got to happen or do you

never learn the lesson but mr sheffield i think. Or do you never learn the lesson that Mr. Sheffield does? I think I got this right. So I think I maybe learned the lesson that I've maybe pushed it too far because maybe it's like one of those like a month later or something along those lines where it's like things have just gotten real kind of haywire. And then it's kind of like maybe Fran walks in on us and we're discussing maybe like the cat's three birds or something along those lines. And then we'll set it up for cats for reptiles.

And then there's kind of like this realization that maybe we've gone a little bit insane. And this is where Fran has to be like, honey, no one even liked cats. No one's going to care for cry but the crowd loves it they are that's that's incredible can I pitch an alternative ending that also may teach you a lesson Joel Zammett you're stumbling out of a marinara bar and

Fran hits you with a car I need my pussy eat And then credits Thoughts? Great options to be honest As you're lying in hospital You look out the window and you see Some birds and you're like And that's where we cut to the end Or what will happen is that

Like you know again Mr Sheffield through like the advice of Fran And all that kind of stuff that we've gone too far, will be like, you know what, this is bad. Whatever. I had to spend time with my wife. I'm pulling out. You know, this is like, whatever, whatever, whatever. And then a bit of, like, cosmic irony. Yeah.

It kind of, like, as they're walking down, like, you know, whatever, they they, they, they see like cats to opening rave reviews. It's like, it's a masterpiece and all those kinds of things. And then Mr. Sheffield was like, and Fran's like, Oh, well I got my pussy yet.

And then it's credits. See, at least in our two endings, the original two endings, uh, you're taught a lesson, but that lesson, the one you just pitched,

that last one is, there's no such thing as too much work. No, I think the real lesson is eat out your nanny. I think that's the real lesson of this episode. Yeah. I think that's the real one. That's the takeaway.

I don't know. Yeah. That's a powerful, powerful statement. Yeah. All again, same kind of ending, but they see like catch two opening and there's no line. Yeah, that's a powerful, powerful statement from the Death Star. Yeah. Well, again, same kind of ending, but they see, like, catch two opening and there's no line,

and then there's, like, you know, no one wanted this. Bad play gets a badder sequel. Yeah. Why do this? Who is this for? Yeah, like, maybe some cat puns that are there. Like, you know, meow thanks or something like that. I don't know. It's not great. Yeah, that's a good one. I'll have a click of a cat pun. that are there, like, you know, meow thanks or something like that.

I don't know. It's not great. Yeah, that's a good one. I'll have a lick of a cat pun. Meow thanks. Cat, oh, no. Oh, cat. Cat, no.

All of these are good. Any of these they can use. Meow thanks. Terrible. Anyone, any of these. Yeah, just like trying to force meow into anything. This play was meow-able and people were like, what are they trying to force Meow into anything This play was meowable And people were like, what are they

Trying to say I don't know who the play was for And I don't know who this bad review is for Meow-de-oka at best Is surely the best you can do with that Yeah, you're right We'll use that Meow-a-flee bad, I guess they could go for

Tries to make the audience purr makes them hiss instead yeah also great perfectly bad oh for that right so you've got that review coming off right and like people right and then it kind of pulls out and that's and that's uh niles writing the review oh there you go that's a good. Then the nanny theme. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's pretty good. It's pretty good. You learned your lesson, and that's all we can ask for this. Oh, maybe.

Hang on. Let's add another layer to the ending. Yeah. Okay. So, zooms out. Niles is riding it. Zooms out a little bit more. There's a knock on the door.

It's Cece. And then she says, Niles, it's time to get my pussy ass. Oh, yes. Perfect. Because that's the real lesson of the episode. And then he'll be like, I'll be right with you, Cece. But then he goes to it because he understands the work. He knows to live in the now. Yeah.

And to eat pussy. Work and play. Yes. Writing rude reviews. Oh, that's the title of the episode. Name of the episode. Work and play. Yes. Writing rude reviews. Oh, that's the name of the title of the episode. Name of the episode. Work and play. Beautiful.

That's beautiful. And then in brackets, nanny's pussy. Work and play. Eat out your nanny. Yeah, yeah. Eat out your nanny. Yeah. And now a quick word from our sponsor.

Also, if you want to keep up to date with everything we do, why not join our newsletter? Just check the show notes or head to our website, sanspantsradio.com, and sign up today. Well, okay, so I was thinking the lesson I need to learn is to not play in trash, and I was thinking this would make a good 70s Superman episode or a comic book.

So, like, you know when they would just publish, like, a PSA and try to make it cool? Well, they're trying to make it cool for kids, you know, but it's not. It's not cool for kids. And so I guess it would be Superman teaching me not to play in garbage. Yeah. I think the kind of pitch for this comic book. So I guess it would have to open with me playing in garbage and Superman discovering that.

How do we think that would come about? So would it be Superman discovering it or maybe something, because it's in the 70s, something to do with, like, I'm thinking, like, his best friend Jimmy Olsen. Oh, yeah. Jimmy Olsen, maybe Jimmy Olsen is doing a piece for the Daily Planet on the trash heap outside of Metropolis. And he's there to do the, and then he finds me,

a grown man playing in garbage yeah he's like that's like are you okay lines of you know we need to clean the streets up and make you know all these trash heaps go away but unfortunately we have a man now who's playing with it and and is like yelling it's still good jimmy olsen it's still good dude look at this old toy car it's got a wheels but you can pretend it's one that's had its wheels stolen well and then i put it in the mud and i'm like yeah well it's a 70s so like the cold war is a thing right yeah yeah so maybe you're playing in trash and you keep playing in more and more trash and then eventually you're playing in depleted uranium

so the lesson secretly is not don't play in trash it's don't play near depleted uranium the lesson secretly is not don't play in trash it's don't play near depleted uranium hey jimmy olsen come look at this headache material it does this cool thing where it gives you a bad headache jesus christ jackson i gotta call superman maybe it escalated going through jimmy olsen Calling more and more authorities And none of them can pull me away From the depleted uranium Jimmy Olsen it's shiny Like a gem This man is just constantly giving himself cancer

We should help this man No! No! And then I'm just hugging the metal drum Because I've become attached I like that a lot of this I feel like it's going to be like a debate with superman where he like kneels down for some reason to be my height i guess i'm on all fours imagine you like crouched uh like some kind of maniac hugging it maybe licking and whispering sweet nothings into this maybe i pick up some of

the uranium and i put it on my face and i'm like superman i'm in vietnam and he's like no no no no he puts his hand on my shoulder no no no no you're absolutely incorrect there you're you're coming in about not playing in trash something to do with depleted uranium? Or maybe PTSD because... Are you a war vet? I don't know. Were you ever in Vietnam, Superman? No, no, no, no. I say it back.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. This is 100% about playing in trash. I love to play in trash, Superman. Okay? And nothing you do or the fire department do is gonna stop me. Especially this cool drum that gives me a headache.

And then I'll keep playing in that and covering my skin in it. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, okay. I feel like that you've become a talking point, a bit of a piece in the Daily Planet and them talking about

what they're doing with this uranium-loving madman Does Jimmy Olsen get famous of talking about it? Is there also a lesson in like, don't exploit this man who loves uranium? Like, Jimmy Olsen's going on, he's doing news, he's doing interviews And I'm like, excuse me, I'm the man covering my face in uranium I should be on tv i got man i got many lessons to learn yeah yeah a lot of us i think lois lane is the one teaching jimmy that lesson to not be so exploitative of of this of the sources yeah i guess so and like

even though it is a journalistic right to to report on the events but it's a human right to try and help people in need yeah exactly jimmy olsen's like is he in need it seems like his fault i don't he could stop at any time and this is why he needs our help because he won't does it count as a psa if the lesson is some people deserve to die Superman's not okay with killing except in this one maybe the world's better off I could just bury him I could just bury him and he'd be fine

it's a reboot of the famous Superman storyline of which he can't save Park Kent because he has a heart attack but in this he can't save the boy who loves rubbing depleted uranium on his belly. Superman, I'm like a hippopotamus and I just slap it on my belly. No, no, no,

no, no, no, no. Jackson, you must stop at once. You will die. Like a hippopotamus? I don't... Does he mean an otter? What is he talking about? I've met a hippopotamus. I don't... Does he mean an otter? What is he talking about? I've met a hippopotamus. They don't slap their bellies with depleted uranium.

Don't even slap their bellies with mud. Maybe... I don't know where he's getting his information, though why I'm trusting a man who puts depleted uranium in his belly to be accurate, I couldn't say. Maybe Superman, he, like, picks me up and he takes me into Metropolis and he's like, job done, and then I'm there the next day again and he's like, I've really got to figure out something. He will find his way back no matter what I do.

He picks you up, takes you to the Fortress of Solitude. You've got a uranium problem, sir And it needs to stop Uranium is not even addictive I don't know what you're getting out of this Get addicted to cigarettes like a normal man in the 70s Superman, you can take me wherever you want on the earth I will find my way back to that uranium I love it

Superman giving you a box of, like, a carton of cigarettes Smoke them if you got them, Jason This is safer, my lord uranium. I love it. A man giving you a box of a carton of cigarettes. Smoke them if you got them, Jackson. This is safer. Smoke up, Jackson Bailey. And then, like a week later, I'm back at the uranium. I just got a cigarette in my mouth. I love having a cool long drag of Marlboro

cigarettes after covering my belly in depleted uranium. It's an ad. This part's an ad. Are you too a rhinoceros that slaps their belly with depleted uranium? Jimmy Olsen is like constantly filming this and giving you air time. There's a lot of think pieces of like,

should we be giving this person air time? Yeah, does he have a good platform? He's telling us to smoke and put uranium on our belly like an elephant. I don't know if he knows what animals are he seems to be using elephant rhinoceros and hippopotamus

interchangeably at will has he ever seen any of these I thought he meant otter at the start I don't know why you the general public are so fixated on this particular issue. There are bigger problems here than just this man.

Like the fact that he is slathering uranium on his belly. It doesn't matter, like whatever animal. But I've seen the cartoons. They're all very, very cute and very well drawn. Yeah, it's great, but we need to help this man. Brainiac hits Metropolitan, comes and goes. No one even notices. They just want to hear more about the boy who claims to be an otter with uranium on his guts.

I think the way that this particular PSA would start to reach its sort of crescendo would be- Its natural conclusion. Yeah, would be if the uranium gives me superpowers. So I think I've got to get, I got to rub it on my belly and maybe I become like a giant kind of gray monster man. And I interchangeably again, call myself the hippopotamus, the elephant or the rhino.

I'm the rhino perpaphalant. Look out. No, no, you're none of this. My belly is so cold. It hasn't. Just so you giant gray stomping your way, Superman with just an arm on your shoulder, being like, you know,

even though you are like four times his size, he's still looking down at you. Shoulder, hand on your shoulder. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. But I'm the hippo propellant. You know there's not a real...

I slapped all that uranium on my belly and it gave me hippo propeller You know that's not a real I slapped all that uranium on my belly And it gave me hippo propeller You're just big You're a big band now You're very sick Are you tired? All the time How's the headaches?

Really really bad No We're going to take you somewhere uh bat batman might help i don't i don't know it's just am i is is it a detox is that what happens next it's like a detox and cure or something like that i like to think this whole thing wraps up by being an ad for tootsie rolls superman's like i have just the solution and he gives me a box of Tootsie Rolls and I'm like gee whiz all the sugar flavor and then I'm regular again I don't want to eat uranium anymore you solved my problem with Tootsie Rolls buy them today Superman just muttering like you ate the

uranium I mean I get that you were slapping it on your belly I don't need to shovel my face Full of uranium like an elephant anymore Superman I have Tootsie Rolls What are you saying No no no no Please go away Leave Metropolis forever

It's one of the most famous Superman arcs Oh absolutely It's an arc I thought it was a one off comic It's one of the most famous Superman arcs Oh absolutely, it's an arc I thought it was a one off comic It's an arc So much lore was established here It comes back in later issues Down the track

For a while Jimmy Olsen was blamed For the rise of Rhino Hufflepuff Rhino Tavolifus Rhino Tavolifus. Hocophilus or whatever you're... Rhinotavolifus. Rhinotavolifus, yes. He's sort of blamed for the destruction that you've caused.

Absolutely. You're like haphazardly and incorrectly used as a metaphor for the Cold War. Yeah, absolutely. Very sloppily. Nobody can quite tell what the point of the comic book was. They were like, what was it actually against? He's a symbolism of America's obsession with nuclear war. Yeah, because he loved to rub it on his belly. And I guess the use of elephants, hippos, and rhinos is about poaching, maybe?

Or maybe about America's justification on having nuclear wars and how they change the goalposts every time. It's quite a deep book yeah, you talk about the exploitation of what America is doing to other countries yeah, is it about colonialism maybe? it's really hard to tell

what was the Tootsie Roll bit? why did that fix it? at one point he advertised cigarettes as well it's really good commentary on America's obsession with capitalism and that capitalism can cure almost anything. And that's why it is so. So even though while this character of Jackson slapped unhealthy uranium on his belly and ate it, eating a sugary substance that is solely made for and by Americans fixed him. It's just kind of like helping the fallacy of the American dream.

It's interesting that he was clearly addicted to the uranium, but also advertised cigarettes, which at the time were in the news as being quite an addictive substance. I don't know if that was intentional or if the cigarette, maybe Marlboro didn't know what they were getting into. I can't imagine they would have been happy about that. Marlboro have distanced themselves. A company famous for probably not distancing themselves enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This time they were like, I don't know if I want to be associated with the hip hop,

the hip hop elephant, who closes out the book by saying, I love cigarettes and Superman. So what's that about? Just the last panel of shoving a Tootsie Roll in whilst having a sneaky drag.

I love Superman and cigarettes and uranium! I didn't learn the last one. It's another commentary on Americans' obsession with gluttony and excess. It's a powerful piece of literature. It's weirdly predicted some

of the problems that would be facing the USA later in this century. The betrayal of citizens in the media. It also predicts, yeah, fast food nation, 9-11 probably. I think that features in.

Maybe it could do. It's a dense little comic. It's very similar to reading the Bible. You can take from it whatever you want. You can interpret it however you like. Superman is baffled by all of it. Seems like he doesn't want to be there for any of it. As you can see, with Superman's constant mutterings of, Superman is baffled by all of it. Seems like he doesn't want to be there for any of it.

As you can see, with Superman's constant mutterings of, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is actually the writer trying to get a message through to the creative team and the editors in charge. Because if you look behind the scenes at the time, some of the writers were having a bit of a problem with the editorial staff and their willingness to take any kind of money from big cigarettes, big uranium, uranium paid largely for this comic book to be printed which is equally baffling

what whilst it isn't i guess overtly anti-uranium it's not pro-uranium either big uranium coming out being like this is the closest we're gonna get to a pro uranium book so we'll pay whatever for it like the kid doesn't fucking die so we'll take it he seems fine with all the uranium he slapped on his goddamn belly he'll be right yeah we'll fucking pay for uranium guts or whatever you call in this book who gives a shit you telling me that it's pro-ish uranium do you know how fucking hard that is to find in this economy? Are you kidding me? We'll fucking take it. If you want to make a sequel, we'll give you one billion dollars.

What an explosive press conference the uranium lobby has presented us with. I'll fight anyone who says that's not a good comic book. Why not? Let's go. Who wants some chin music hands up who wants to die I will end you I'm Mr. Uranium and today is the day you die

the time has come for me to punch heads clean off this is all of course captured in beautiful panel form in the sequel of Uranium Man. Yeah, it's good to imagine a kid

It becomes a little bit of a documentary series as well as part of the DC mythos. Yeah, yeah. It's good to imagine a kid in the 50s, like, chewing gum, finishes reading that comic book and is like, what do I do now? What is the takeaway?

What is my next step? Then he throws it in the bin. It's the most binned comic book in American history. Pristine copies sell for negative $2. You get a refund. They did a study in 2008 and Garbage Island in the Pacific Is 99% this one comic book That they threw out so much Yeah

Oh and a great PSA Yeah thank you I think we all learned a lot Yeah exactly It was dense with lessons that's important My PSA is that Bugs Bunny is going to teach me Not to drink chemicals from under the sink Not because they'll make me sick

But because they taste bad Why to drink chemicals from under the sink. Not because they'll make me sick, but because they taste bad. Oh, why are you drinking chemicals under the sink when there's lots of delicious chemicals you could be drinking? Like orange juice. Hey, what's up, Doc? Hey, have you tried drinking some of this Coca-Cola? It's better for your guts. Is the idea that Bugs Bunny will make the chemicals taste better you're

drinking them wrong put sugar in them i just feel like this isn't bugs bunny i feel this is kind of like an off-brown fugs runny fugs runny the diarrhea rabbit and everyone is just like a little bit confused was this warner brothers approved uh Because he's talking like something out of Toontown. It's really good to imagine the... Yeah, kid, donate that quid to chemicals under the sink. For Satan's money! You know the splash image of the Looney Tunes

where it'll say the title? It's great to imagine that coming on really quick and saying Fog's Runny, the diarrhea rabbit. Really quick so that as a kid watching it, you're like, wait, what was that? You're like, wait, did that, the diarrhea rabbit. Just like really quick so that as a kid watching it, you're like, wait, what was that? Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. You're like, wait, did that say the diarrhea rabbit? Gee, Fugs Runny, should I be drinking this chemicals under the sink?

Not if you want diarrhea, kid. Is Fugs Runny pro or anti-diarrhea? It's a really important clarification. Yeah, this is, we need to know JD this is integral is he helping you avoid or get diarrhea well he's anti-drinking chemicals from under the sink

but I don't think chemicals from under the sink would give you diarrhea I think it would just burn your guts is he like well okay let's see maybe he's like pro prune juice or something like that. It's like, again, like how we're trying to sell Tootsie Rolls, maybe, for Superman. This is like, hey, big prune drink.

We need to get in touch with the kids. We've cornered the geriatric market. They love it, but we need the kids. What are kids doing too much of? Ah, they're drinking those chemicals under the sink. So what if we make our drink more delicious and

look better than those chemicals under the sink? I can already see, the controversial nature of this episode of Fuggs Running the Diarrhea Rabbit, because I imagine he's like, don't drink that under the sink, drink this! And he shows you the prune juice which is also kept under the sink,

leading kids across the nation to search under the sink for something to drink. Maybe that's a song he sings. It's kept under the sink, and the bottle design looks exactly like a bottle of bleach. Because a bunch of execs were like, what are kids already drinking?

Chemicals under the sink There are so many PSAs about it So that means the ideal place for our prune drink Is under the sink And then we'll get kids across the nation shitting their pants Like the prune lobby wants Just like their hero Fugs Ronnie

The diary rabbit So when the government calls back And being like plumbing the death star, we asked you to do a PSA for whatever you wanted, and you picked eating out your nanny, an advertisement for big uranium, and

kids shitting their pants more. That's what you wanted to raise awareness for. I'll be like, hey, government, you said we could do whatever we liked, so... Hey, your brief was open to interpretation and we definitely opened it. Which one do you think the government would be the happiest with?

I mean, one of them is not actively harmful. In fact, it's got net positives, and that's eating out your nanny. The other one is, kids shooting themselves is not good. And I don't know what my comic book was about. So, eating out your nanny is the best lesson to get out of this entire episode

if you're going to take away anything, take away that frankly, at the end of the day Fugs Ronnie Fugs Ronnie the Diary Rabbit I have to ask, so does this does your episode of Fugs Ronnie the Diary Rabbit start with you drinking chemicals and being like, none of these taste good

but you're still drinking them yeah great yeah it burns it just hurts my throat and belly well kid wait have a look now you little motherfucker hey what's up con now your little motherfucker is a great tagline for bugs Ronnie have a look now you motherfucker

that's what he says instead of that's all fucks have a look now motherfucker that's what the porky pig says diarrhea do you think do you think that will work Diarrhea. Yeah. Do you think that will work? Do you reckon kids will watch my cartoon and then go and shit their pants? I think they will.

I think yours will be very effective. Yeah. Because that's something you can do at home with no extra effort, really. You don't need to have a nanny, you know. Uranium's hard to get. Famously hard to find. Exactly. And then also, you doing something like for like,

don't drink the chemicals under the sink. You're touching a point that not many like other PSAs will do. It's like, it's dangerous. It's going to kill you. It's going to burn you. You're like, it tastes yuck. Yeah. It's not a forbidden soda.

It's not like an unlocked flavor of Coca-Cola. It tastes yuck. And also as opposed to delicious prune juice Which is great and the kids will love And you know you're not saying Hey you know kids are going to go down there Anyway so you might as well put something That they can drink down there

It's a good distraction My PSA also So not only is it just misinforming People and assuming that prune juice is kept under the sink, but now I'm saying that you should keep your prune juice under the sink to give kids something tasty to drink. Yeah, they're going to be down there anyway. You've got to be like, hey, kids are going to always drink

whatever's under the sink, so you may as well put something yummy there like prune juice in this bleach container. What's up, cunts? Don't forget to keep some prune juice under the sink for your kids to drink. Take a look at that, motherfucker! Maybe even you take it a step further and you're like,

put your chemicals in the fridge, because kids aren't going there. You might as well put your bleach in the fridge in a bottle that looks like milk, because kids aren't drinking from the fridge. No kid likes milk! No kid likes milk. No kid likes milk. Put the milk under the sink and keep your bleach

in the fridge. And your one does the most harm I think ultimately. There's a lawsuit lobbied against Fuggs Ronnie the Diarrhea Rabbit. Well that's why history has forgotten him. That's true.

The end of the lawsuit wasn't financial. They were just like, you need to wipe Fugs Ronnie the Diarrhea Rabbit from existence. It was bad. A mind wipe. We've hired those MIB cunts. It's like the end of Fantastic Beasts 1. We did a big mind wipe of the entire planet

about Fugs runny the diarrhea rabbit except for you i guess because you were in the cartoon yeah and i guess you weren't paid and this was how they paid you you received what you thought was a check in the mail and it just says hey sorry we can't pay you but don't worry you'll remember fugs runny the diarrhea rabbit that's how my famous continues. My famous voice. That's great as I'd imagine you being like, damn, money would have been better, but, you know. At least I remember. I've got the memories.

At least you've got the memories of Fuggs Runny. That's pretty good. Yeah. You know, you came out of it pretty good in the end. All those deaths were wiped under the rug and misremembered by history. Yeah. So you're not remembered as

maybe television's greatest monster. No. That's really, really powerful. And I think that's a takeaway message, I guess, from this episode. I was going to say, I think at the end of the day, Zammett's got the greatest message, it does the most net good, but Douche's is the most doable.

And I think I'm somewhere in the middle of just being frankly confusing and i think that's the whole spectrum of what a psa could bring you yeah yeah yeah yeah and on that note i've been joel and remember to eat out your nanny i've been jackson and remember to smoke cigarettes eat tootsie rolls and have a neutral opinion on uranium and i've been joel ducha and remember to shit your pants, kids. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support this show and all the other shows on the

Sandspans Radio Network, just head to sandspansradio.com and consider joining the Sandspans Plus community. There's over 20 bonus shows, a Sandspans Plus Discord, exclusive video content, and discounts on merch. Just head to SandspansRadio.com and follow the links.