Plumbing the Death Star - Which Child Would Have Been the Best Heir to the Wonka Throne?

Episode Date: August 18, 2024

Sure Charlie Bucket got the factory because everyone else failed quicker, but was that the best move by Wonka? Running a business is hard work. Running a questionable legal chocolate manufacturing business with multiple scandals involving workers rights, fair pay and strange and unique injuries to guests is possibly harder. We don’t think Charlie has it in him to bribe officials or squash any dissenting opinions about unions. His amoral failings will be the death of Wonka chocolate and Augustus Gloop will have died for nothing. At least under the ruthless eye of one of the other children, Gloop’s legacy will live on. But more importantly Wonka’s legacy will live on. Sure it might be Wonka-Salt now, but the chocolate’s so good you’ll die for it. Just ask Augustus. You can’t. Because he’s a dead little boy. Due to woeful safety regulations at the chocolate factory. But you know he’d say it and mean every word.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+If you’re in Melbourne or the UK and want to see three beautiful idiots live and in the flesh, head on over to https://www.sanspantsradio.com/events/category/live-shows/ and grab your tickets today to see us in Melbourne, London, Edinburgh, Manchester and/or Birmingham. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is the pop culture comedy podcast that asks you important questions like which child from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory would have been the best heir to the Willy Wonka Factory throne? Who would have got the company best? So in the movie Willy Walker the Chocolate Factory and the book or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the book and the book Charlie Bucket he wins the chocolate fact. Charlie Bucket from Nantucket, the dick's so big. No. That's also like, not how...

There was a man from Nantucket... There sure was. Charlie in the Chocolate Factory. Charlie wins, even though he got disqualified really because he drank the fine print. The fine print was basically don't touch anything. But every other child pretty much died. Every other child did. And the reason is because like well you know, Grandpa Joe made you do it.

Yeah yeah yeah exactly. But also isn't it just a tour? Isn't the whole thing at the start just a tour? It's not meant to be a competition. Well I mean in the movie it's basically you're gonna you know the winner of this. Isn't it just a twist at the end? He's like fuck it. I actually fucking hate this factory I'm sitting there writing a letter screaming. I think it is in the in the yeah in the first one They're like hey and guess what Charlie you've won the chocolate factory

And then he has that crazy line in the elevator where he's like you know what happened to the boy who got everything you wanted It everything went pretty good for him And then there that's the end of the movie or is it cuz I also remember gene wilders really won't cook cuz he's a madman Yeah, he's full lunatic hours being like Call up Charlie Bucket! You're the chosen one and you fucked it by drinking the fucking fizzy drink! Fizzy part of good things, I don't know. Fuckin' all the kids! Everyone's too busy sucking on my cockwad. No one's busy enough running this factory.

You know what? That's my app, Charlie Bucket! You know, I said, why are we making a cockwad? Everyone was like, I don't know, is that candy? And I was like, whatever, let's just go with it! And then my Oompa Loompa's like, Oompa Loompa Doompa dee cock wall. The kids are dead! Charlie!

I got blood on my hands, little boy! And you! There's actually blood on your hands now, because this factory bitch, it's yours! Woo! Woo! Woo! Hey, yeah, Charlie, if you want to sign this document, now because this factory bitch it's yours what? whoo what? hey uh yeah charlie if you want to sign this document if you can date that yesterday oh what? that'd be great that's the only condition

that's funny to imagine the police interrogating Charlie Bucket I do what? yeah you killed somebody well you were there charlie you know what happened how about your how? that's a puppet's voice you're speaking with a puppet accent right now, and I don't I do not like I'm just a little boy!

That's an absolute mannequin voice that you're doing there Yeah, it's a menacing puppet A Marionette's, yeah, words coming out of your mouth But Charlie Bucket wins But is he the right kid? You know, yeah, was he deserved? Did he deserve the chocolate factory? You know yeah, was he deserved? He deserved the chocolate factory Charlie bucket You know whatever he's fine

You know good heart a little bit more than that to run a factor well you need a cold heart Yeah, I think you kind of need a bit. You know a bit ruthless to be a businessman absolutely It's the fact that he didn't sell it off everything off the slug worth kind of means that I don't know Maybe maybe he's not looking after numero un Yeah, because I think Willy Wonka basically he's like you understand what makes chocolate so special Imagination that's not true. Yeah, that's why he's very happy for Charlie Bucket to get the factory the secret ingredient in Wonka's chocolate as revealed in the Prequel movie Wonka

In which a plot point of that film sounds like it was written by us because a huge part of that movie just comes down to the fact that Willy Wonka does not know how to read I am not joking The secret ingredient, and the reason he finds out about the secret ingredient at the end is because his mom wrote him a note then died He can't read the note Why does he write him the note? The secret ingredient to chocolate, my good friend, is love. Okay. Love of what though?

Oh, the chocolate's good because of who you share it with or something? It's something like that. Yeah, but yeah, like... Anyway, so it's love. Yeah. Love of what though? Because if you love money or love TV... Ah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah,

gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, I love money! Who was that? Who just turned up? Drew, I think. I think it was Groot, man.

I think Groot. Philodius, I think. I think it was Groot. I think it was Groot? I think it was Gru, man. I think felonious Gru came in there for a second. Gru keeps coming into my life recently. I don't know why. Well, he loved money. But do we think Charlie Bucket, do we think he had like more love than the other children? Well, okay. So the other kids are what? Augustus Gloop, Mike TV. Violet Burgard and Varukha Salt Yeah, and then you got Charlie Bucket who we've already said a bunch of times so five kids

so I guess like Yeah, straight off the bat. There's one guy that I want to talk about as who I would see as the rifle heir Okay to the Willy Wonka throne right in the factory and it's not one of those five kids. We'll get to the kids I promise. I promise I promise You got a random extra kid He's actually opposite of a kid cuz he's old okay grandpa Joe Running your factory unless is it into the ground? As well yeah exactly

He hates the factory. It's like Man, they fired him. Yeah, well he was like go when the factories closed down Why is he excited to go there? He's gonna give Willy Wonka a piece of his mind. Is he? No, he's excited to go back. He misses his days there, but he was like go. Uh-huh He misses his days there. Yeah, so he's sad. He sleeps in a bed with the three other grandparents which are fucked up Yeah, yeah, and he's like, oh, I'm so sick Oh, you got the golden ticket, alright boy, I'm off to the factory I love factory because I can't move otherwise. Oh, but the factory. I'm dancing Yeah, exactly the factory keeps him going because clearly he loves money

Okay, and keep being given a big successful factory. Yeah, he's an adult man Give him the factory. Why not so all this shit Why if we're gonna give it to a parent give it to Veruca Saltz dad. Yeah, he runs a fucking not Plant doesn't Mike TV's on a not plant. What if the parents has a big gun? Mike TV has little like cowboy guns. Yeah, do you think this is? I'm so glad Mike TV won the factory Grandpa Joe if you took over I mean ideally when you're wanting someone to take over your company, ideally you want someone younger than yourself.

Wonker, I believe, is quite a bit younger than Grandpa Joe. Grandpa Joe said he could be in his late 60s. The last time Grandpa Joe worked was several decades ago, I feel. And yeah, sure, he worked at the factory, but that was it, right? Yeah. He got fired, let go, nothing else. Yeah. Didn't then enter the workforce, didn't upskill, didn't try his... He spent the last two decades wasting away in a bed. Yeah, but then he doesn't dance because he loves money in factory. Well, clearly not enough. And how he greeted, how does Wonka greet the public?

Oh, I'm an old man! Whoop! Which is, is that not pretty much what Grandpa Joe does to us, the audience? He's like, oh, I'm an old man in bed! But I got a golden ticket! I guess, yes, like how Wonka fakes everyone out, Grandpa Joe lied to his family and loved ones. Yes. I guess in business you need that kind of heartless ruthlessness to succeed.

Even your family you gotta use a Zalada to get where you need to be. And Grandpa Joe, he loved to lounge. Yeah, but do you think? But my problem there is though, he loved to lounge so much and also... Oh my god, I've just found out something deeply just stressing about grandpa Joe okay In the book he's 96 years old There you go I think the excitement there might take him over. I think it'll be newspaper headline,

Grandpa Joe wins Willy Wonka's factory, and then the next day's headline, Grandpa Joe dead at 95. Because also another issue maybe is the reason why Wonka's chocolate factory is so successful is because overheads are now pretty cheap. Yes. Doesn't have to pay his workers a little wage. He pays the o'p Loompas in chocolate. And I guess what they're making, motherfuckers,

is chocolate, right? So I feel, even though Grandpa Joey, maybe he's a piece of shit, he also knows enough, I guess ex-workers, people that were screwed over by Wonka firing everyone, that he might then fire the Oompa Loompas and then hire other people, which is kind of like another good, but it's kind of got a two problem approach there to Wonka if we're going to like, it depends. Do we want to go like the humane

route or do you want to go to the, again, worshipping at the altar of capitalism? Because it's good because yes, it's now getting, you know, paying the Oompa Loompas a reasonable wage. Or paying like, you know, workers there hiring people that go, live a wage. But then that'll kind of, you know, reduce profits. Or you, yeah, you, uh, just, it just, with Charlie though, because he's got a good heart, I feel like he also might be like, hey we are exploiting the Oompa Loompas, let's not do that.

Which I think is maybe why you kind of need a Mike TV or a Varukha Salt. In fact, probably a Varukha Salt. Yeah, you reckon Varukha Salt? Varukha Salt is heartless. Yes, she is. She's selfish. She's got no care for humanity. Yeah.

Or like human working rights. So she'll be working those oompa loompas to the bone. Yeah, can we find like, you know, maybe an example of her business practices in the song, I Want It Now? I Want It Now, I Want a Feast, I Want a Bean Feast. She wants a bean feast. Beans.

Yeah, she says. What the fuck, she at the chocolate factory, She loved beans. She should go to the bean I want it. I want to lock it right up in my pocket. It's my bar of chocolate. Give it to me now I want a feast. I want a bean feast. Yeah What is a bean feast? I know obviously a feast of beans Why does Veruca salt in brackets Willy Wonka want a bean feast great question and it's on our slash no stupid questions That's not a stupid question. I think it's a legitimate question to ask. Okay, it's a bean feast known as a beano in Britain

I want to be no it's an informal informal term for a celebratory meal or party, especially in annual summer. Dinner given by an employer to their employees. No, nothing to do with beans. Despite it being called a bean feast or a bean-o. Yeah. It's just a celebratory meal. Hey! Whoa, John! We're gonna have a bean feast! And I'm sitting there with my bowl ready for beans. I'm a keen for this bean, oh mate! And then they give me, oh, fucking chicken.

And so where are pretel of the beans? What was an annual dinner given by the employees for their employees? Mmm, okay, so this is next. Employers by their employees. Employers by employees, for their employees. So this already I'm like, now I don't know if I want Veruca Salt because she's putting herself in the idea of like She's the employee here and that's not what I want in my CEO So I want someone who like, you know, I want to be like I want a face

I want a bean feast for the people who work for me. Yeah I don't know if Veruca Salt now is the perfect person for the job I think what he's put a line through that's that's sad. What I would be worried about is... Mike TV has two guns, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah. Threatening. Justice for Mike TV, dude. Yeah. Something that I think would be...

The internet has diagnosed him with ADHD, which is sad. Yeah. He wasn't saved. Manicade Mike TV. He should be. But with Mike TV, because he wants to... TV? Well, he wants...

He wants to go into TV. He wants to go into TV, but he wants to take Wonka and Wonka chocolate to the this generation Yeah, exactly go into TV. I think this day and age probably be called Mike streaming Mike internet or Mike Mike skimity toilet Go in the skimity toilet Wonka is like what the hell is this fucking kid saying? Wonka is like, I don't know. What the hell is this fucking kid saying? Dude, G-Man's in the toilet and you gotta flush it, but then the camera is the CCTV heads or the TV heads.

Wonka leans over to Mike TV's dad and he's like, hey, I'm gonna kill you son. Do you have that gun that that guy thinks I have? That you have? And then all the lights start dimming. I will kill you child. I'm gonna kill this boy, okay? What I think would be a struggle

with getting Willy Wonka's factory is I know that you run it like a normal factory Like the upkeep on the candy forest or whatever. What how do you the chocolate river? Okay, well, I'm assuming a lot of this was done after he fired regular work That's why I think grandpa Joe grandpa Joe thinks he's coming back to a regular factory Yeah, and then he gets on that machine that washes you yeah Yeah, you know the car that washes you that they have for some yeah, yeah, and he's like. What's the function of this? Yeah, what huh? Or like the um when they're making that

Potion and he puts shoes in it mmm. I don't recall the shoe potion a machine She's chucking everything everything in the fucking Willy Wonka factories. It's like a machine, he's just chucking everything in there. Everything in the fucking Willy Wonka factory is just, it's a machine that the thing goes in. Cause it's an everything flavor right? Yes. And it's like yeah it's great when you're making you know like a hazelnut praline but we can also get like vomit. Well I think you know because he puts in the shoes for kick. Yeah he does. Now I don't know as a as like a modern-day businessman if I could make that assumption. Yeah. I'm like oh you're putting in sneakers so you're making it taste like a soup? Yeah, but that's the question.

Say grandpa Joe puts shoes in a soup that he's going to make a candy from. Does it now taste like shoes? Do you need to be Willy Wonka for the candy to now have a kick? Well I think it depends what kind of shoes he puts in. I guess if he puts in loafers guess if he's putting in boots. Then oh no. Just boots. Yeah, see I guess if he's putting in say, running shoes.

Yeah. Yeah, kick, right, that makes level of sense. Oh, that would have a run for me. Yeah. What's a kicking shoe? A boot? Yeah, a boot, yeah. Do you need both shoes or only one?

Cause you don't kick with two. He puts in both shoes and then a shirt, I think. What's the shirt for? He doesn't say. I think what's the shirt for he doesn't say I think I would flavor. I would struggle to Try and work out what the fuck yeah, it's a lot of stuff that I wouldn't know how to back engineer Yeah, how do you make an everlasting gobstopper? I would not sell that Yeah, you gotta do what Apple do. Build it, obsolesce it.

What are you doing? You know, you sell a Gobstopper that's everlasting once. Great. Sell it for one million dollars each. That's a good idea. There's an idea. But then, actually, I think he says it's for kids who don't have much money, which is funny. Exactly.

And I'm like, Wonka, you're driving this company to the ground. So I have a knock against MikeTV because I was looking up his dad Norman TV because I was trying to find this gun I remember yes to paint a picture I am I remember someone in Willy Wonka having a revolver basically but it being longer than a regular gun not like Joker and Batman big but still pretty big in what's the same I got I think like just waving it around like above their head I can imagine this is not shooting into the ceiling like the more modern day I know I remember this from well I don't remember it I can picture it from the 70s I this is not in there not given a kid apparent a gun in

the two dozen oh I've but I can imagine Willy Wonka when he has that sort of breakdown at Charlie pulling out a gun I can picture that it's not in the movie Yeah, yeah, yeah anyway Norman TV his dad is a teacher And he's got his likes and dislikes listed here on this Charlie the Chocolate Factory wiki right his likes his son Okay, nice his dislikes and this is where I think the Mike TV issue for him being the head of the fact I starts because Norman TV dislikes his son's violence Cuz are you imagining that when Mike TV gets the factory his violence is what will secure him You know a prosperous future. I just feel like that

Like the violent you can't rule a bit. We can yeah But like you don't want to take some notes. Yeah Don't want to rule a business with violence or threats of violence Yeah, you don't want to rule a business with violence or threats of violence Well, yeah, I think the problem with Mike TV is that he's so TV obsessed that if you gave him the factory would even run it You know and also he's tiny who's probably gonna cause problems as well. Well, he's occupation in the 2005 on his gamer. Yeah, okay. Well, he wants to again he wants to I think he could make some deals there with sort of modern Again, he wants to I think he could make some deals there with sort of like modern

Companies which partnerships with yeah, which partnership and advertising like he could do like, you know Wonka Prime. Yeah He's trying to appeal to like yeah that kind yeah He's Mike TV is the guy for now Mike TV is I think is a future thinker. MikeTV is not a future thinker. Because the quote that is attributed to him from the 2005 film is something I can't say on the podcast. Yeah, look, fair enough. He loves gamer words. What is he saying? Backwards in usage of words and on his strategy of finding a golden ticket He claims that

You can't say that Mike TV You can't say that Wow Mike TV is a bad kid He's a kid, he doesn't know, he was raised by gamers in 2001 He is a gamer, he's such a gamer In what year was it? 2005? He's 13

He was raised by gamers in 2005 He's had a gamer. In what year was it? 2005? He was raised by gamers in 2005. He's had some cod lobbies. Yeah. He can be, hopefully, he can learn from this. He can learn from his mistakes. Do you think what he's... He also wants to be a gangster when he grows up. Okay.

I think, I mean, just that line alone. Does he say it on TV? What's the context? I just, I think, given that he is, again, you want that. I guess we've got to figure out what is good for the Wonka factory. You kind of want someone, if we are, if we were to take this at like, almost like that sort of face value, that the Wonka factory is doing well. It's made a monopoly. Mm-hmm. And it's risen. The Walters-Wonka Fee. Yeah, it's risen to success because it is basically skirting around work. OH&S.

OH&S and workers' rights. And so if you get someone in who is maybe like Charlie, a bit of a dreamer, a bit of like, you know, bleeding out, he's not going to, say, pay off politicians to ensure that those laws that work for you, you know Charlie Bucket is a moral child But then you need an amoral person to run because Willy Wonka is an amoral person Yeah, what you want about like how he's whimsy and full of cheer. Yeah, and he loves to you know He's making everlasting gob chuck

you know, he's making everlasting gobb-chuckers, gobb-stoppers, to help out the children who are poor. And that's where he's like, that's what the poor need. They need more candy. They need candy that they can suck on for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It stops them thinking about why they don't have a job. It stops them thinking about why they are poor. It stops them thinking about why I fired their grandparents and parents. So Wonka is by and large not a good moral person. So I think you need someone who is not good or moral to then keep it going.

Well we're back to Mike TV. Because he throws around slurs but he also wins the golden ticket solely because he figures out the system. Okay clever. He hates chocolate so he's not going gonna get high off his own supply. Like an Augustus Gloop type. No. You've never been gone to Augustus Gloop. He's the worst.

You don't wanna give Gloop the factory, dude. And when he goes into the television room, Wonker explains how, like, things are gonna get shrunk down on broadcast, and I'm gonna create television chocolate or whatever, and Mike's like, what the fuck are you saying to me? You're an idiot, man? You're an idiot. Anyway, he gets shrunk because he's like there's no way that this does that and yeah anyway, I always thought that Mike left the factory thin, sorry it's tiny but that's not actually what happens. What happens? He gets put in the taffy puller to get him back to normal but the oompa loompas fuck it up. He becomes like really long yeah Yeah, he's 10 foot tall and incredibly thin.

I know. That's what I want as the nice guy of our factory. But he's smarter than everyone. He's very skeptical, which bosses often are. I think you need a bit of that. I think you need a bit of caution in the Chocolate Factory. The only thing I'm thinking there that may be not like a red flag. Yeah Immoral business, but hmm Is that like he doesn't like chocolate which is great because you're like, well, he's not yet You're gonna get higher if his own supply But does he is he willing to like at least consult other people to see what they want? Mmm. Yes, he's clever. So like can he say see trends to be like, okay people are lover nerds again

Yeah, to make sure that more nerds wrong. Yeah, nerds rope or they're liking the fact that maybe What if we put nerds in chocolate is that gonna be good? We want that I think you need to be talking this the Willy Wonka brand is a brand of innovation. Yeah, they make crazy chocolate That's what everybody knows about Willy Wonka. Yeah, if Mike TV comes in and he doesn't care about chocolate Yeah, he doesn't really care about making crazy chocolate. He's supposed to make chocolate. You know, he's about the bottom dollar. He's about the bottom dollar. He's not a dreamer. No, does that mean that people, it's just the chocolate's gonna become boring? Yeah.

Here's another question I have. I know it's a Wonka brand, but if there's no one with Wonka in the name running the company, Is it gonna be TV chocolate? No, it'll be Wonka. It's exactly like what happened to McDonald's. We're gonna buy it like that, but I'm gonna keep the name. That's true. That's true. Which I think, how about this then? Can we consider? Okay. Mike TV I think is a great like maybe either the CEO or the CFO. Yeah. In terms of like he's kind of keeping an eye on the bottom dollar. But maybe he needs to work with someone, one of the other kids, to help with that imagination. Okay, who else do you reckon, are you gonna give him Charlie Bucket?

Let's not look at Charlie right now, let's go to the others, okay? I haven't really had much of a look in right now, so Augustus. Augustus Klug. He loves chocolate. He loves chocolate so much he died for it. Yeah, a lot of the other kids get like kind of weirdly tricked into dying. He just falls in the river and dies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He does die, right? No, no, no, no. I think Augustus Gloop, they don't show it but he's dead. He should have but he didn't. Okay. So Augustus Gloop, he loved chocolate. Yeah. And that's, again, that might work well with Mike TV who's just like, I could not care for chocolate.

I think they're gonna butt heads. Sometimes you need that because otherwise you're surrounding yourself with for chocolate. I don't want that at all. But I think they're gonna butt heads. Augustus Kup. You sometimes you need that because otherwise you're surrounding yourself with sycophants. Yeah that's true. You don't want that. You don't want yes-men. You don't want that at all. But I get the vibe Augustus Kup will just not even, he's not innovating. He's just eating the chocolate. Yeah. Yeah good point.

Oh Augustus Kup I forget that he has German accent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I love chocolate. Flawless. Flawless flawless it's like I'm in Germany right now yeah yeah yeah what is this so we know one's accent is this hot tuba first yeah I think a problem let's talk about Willy Walker's factory right now so you know the chocolate landscape he makes. What's the function of that?

The river of chocolate. The river of chocolate, but also there's that area where he's like, everything you can eat here is chocolate. Well, the river there is to kind of air-reg. Yeah, the river makes sense. I get the river. But everything else being- There's a huge warehouse full of edible chocolate.

So is that just for the tour? I think it's either one, just for the tour. Another one could be like, well, we are showcasing what we can do with our material and making sure that we are keeping the factory at a certain temperature so it doesn't melt. And if the landscape starts to melt or whatever, then that's a really good indicator. It's like the canary in the gulf. Hey, look, I think there's better ways of doing this. Yeah, that seems insane.

That could be the canary in the gulf. Because also, think there's better ways of doing this. Yeah, that seems insane. That could be the canary in the gul- Because also, it- to showcase off the candy doesn't make sense because this is the first time anyone's seen it. That's true. Maybe the Oompa Loompas like it. Okay, he did it for the Oompa Loompas? Well, maybe he did this to, um, in a way to trick the Oompa Loompas. Oh, so it'd be like, this is like your homeland? No, it's like staff amenities. It's kind of like, I know I'm paying you shit,

but here's like, I don't know, hey, Friday is, it's Casual Friday and I'm also ordering one large pizza. Isn't it good? Hey, you've been working here for 10 years, but I'm gonna give you a gift certificate. For 30 bucks. Whoa, that changed my life. Yay, me high five actually

we're not employees here it's a family and you're my son yeah so it could be that like this this will this will keep the umpalumpus shooting but I also don't you don't really get the impression the umpalumpus get to eat any of them. I feel like they made that candy forest just for the tour. I feel like leading up to the tour Willy Wonka was like, Oompa Loompas build me a chocolate forest and this is just something we're going to give the kids. If they had maybe the river there, that was it. Everything else not there before.

Nothing empty? So. He could also just be a terrible businessman who just has that for no reason. What about, I mean, I know that everything that we know about um, Palumpus suggests that this isn't the case Yeah, but what if it they are pretty much just like Kind of like in the same way you can go to like a theater restaurant Like what if that what if they wonka does treat him right and they're not like slaves. Yeah, just like Do put on a little show his 50 bucks or whatever. Okay, so you imagine they're not the real employees

at the chocolate factory? No. They're just there. But I guess indeed they do need employees. They do need employees. Somebody's gotta make the chocolate. And it's not Wonka. And there's also that bit in the first movie

where the kids are like, what the hell are they? And Wonka's like, they're the umpal upers, idiot. So like, he's not even showing them off. It's just like, they're just like normal guys. Didn't he save them from something? Well the story is that he went to Africa or the Amazon and he stole them. He saved them from... ...punicious knids, which are like monsters, and then brought them back.

Because they love the taste of cocoa, so he pays them in chocolate. They're from Lumpaland. Is it kind of like a wookie life that? Much with more look yeah, I know colonial overtones Hey, um speaking of awesome things. Yes, I just you know how you were saying Augustus gloop dies Yeah, and they just don't show it. Yeah, he does yeah, I knew it, but he dies in a weird way Yeah, he does leave the factory, but he's now made of chocolate Wow dude, that's mom's like really upset and he's licking the chocolate off himself, and she's like stop that That's the most traumatizing thing to watch your son do

Yeah, auto cannibalize his body. Yeah, that's depressing. Yeah Okay, my TV leaves ten foot tall Augustus glup leaves made of chocolate violet burgad Blows up to the size of a violet and yeah, but then what happens well? Because there's always a they roll her out and they say we're taking her to the juicing room. Yeah Juiced and Violet. Varu... Varuca-sol falls down in the trash.

Is she a bad egg? She's a bad egg, yeah. So she falls down in the trash with the other bad eggs. That's true. Well, I imagine, hopefully, these monster children aren't running the factory and they maybe just dodge some bullets here. I think Augustus. I don't think he's a good anything.

I don't think I should have Augustus anywhere near this factory dude. He's not even a good person to sample any of the chocolate. Because he's never going to give you a true objective opinion about anything. Could you have him as like a spokesperson? Augustus Kluge goes out and he's like, Willi Falker chocolate's the best chocolate in the world! Ummm, yeah? I made the chocolate. See the problem there though.

Avanti and Zavante and the height. Say for example. Yeah. Be like, okay, well here's some Cadbury. And he eats that and he's like... Oh, Cadbury! That is also the best chocolate in the world! Oh my god!

And then someone's like, gives you a bit of lid. And you're like... Oh, that too is the best chocolate in the world! No, I'm trying to think of it. Chocolate is good! I just like chocolate. Yeah. Here's the thing as well, so...

For any kid, right, that gets into the... Wins the factory. They are gonna have to deal with the fallout of the tour. Yes. What do you reckon you would do, say, Augustus Gloop, he's become chocolate and auto-cannibalized himself. Yes. What's the press statement you put out?

Um... It was a shame that Augustus never arrived to our factory. and auto-cannibalized himself. Yes. What's the press statement you put out? Umm... It was a shame that Augustus never arrived to our factory to eat the first place. We don't know what happened to that kid. I don't know man, that's crazy. Are you sure you didn't get a Cadbury? We told him not to go near the river. Yeah. He's dumb.

Yeah, and now he's dead and dumb. Now, do we have CCTV that shows us not incompetent? Because there's no rails, there's nothing there to stop in. And he does say, eat everything in my factory. Not that! Does it have, say, me on camera being like, oh no, someone call the police I guess. I probably wouldn't have sound. Yeah, CCTV often doesn't drink.

But they would be like, we're watching the footage of Willy Walker seems bored by this kid's death. Oh no. Yeah. Oh well, whatever. Okay, what do we, how do we? Okay, well. Cause I think my TV.

Has he started to eat himself? Yes, I would say he's about halfway through. He's faceless. Whoa, starting with the face. he's starting with his face. I think I was going to eat myself when I was made of chocolate. My face wouldn't be the first one. What would you start with? How can I?

Left arm, probably. Yeah. Yeah. I'd go nipples first. Why nipples? I don't know. I'd go feet. They're protruding.

Why feet? I can get my foot to my mouth. You don't want to walk, Elvorgun? Well, what do I got to go? Everything I need is right here in my own body. And I guess you know your time is limited on this. I wonder if he's hollow like an Easter bunny or if he's solid like a chocolate ball. When do you reckon he dies? When he eats the brain?

The next hot day? Yeah, of course. Because he lies in bed, his mum puts on the heater, it's all German winter, and she just pulls the blankets back to her chocolate bottle. Obviously that's how her son died. But if you're honest, put me in a bath and heat up the room so I can drink myself. That's so sad.

But also like, does he have organs still? Cause he is. No. Yeah, but he's made of chocolate. Yeah, he's made of chocolate. He's made of chocolate organs, but you're eating yourself. You're eating yourself all the way down. You're made of chocolate. No. Yeah, but he's made of chocolate organs. But you're eating all the way down. You're made of chocolate all the way down, but you are conscious.

You start eating your body. At what point do you die? Brain? How are you eating your own brain? Are you breathing? You were eating your own face. I can do that. Just like, you know, reach in.

You could just reach in to pull your brain out. Yeah. And you die. You don't even get to eat the brain. But you die holding your own brain, which is awesome. But your brain is chocolate. Yeah, but I'm sure- Is everything still connected?

It must be. It's all just, you know, neurons and everything firing. You're firing chocolate neurons now. Yeah. Your blood is also chocolate when you breathe. Yeah. You're breathing in particles and then you need to... Man, I feel like chocolate now.

Yeah. You can eat your own face. You just tear it off. But then you nerd have a mouth. I've got a hole. Mm, you've got a hole. He's got a hole. He's got a teeth.

I've got a hole, dude. But do you have muscles? If you pull away some of your cheek, you need that to... Can you chew? Yeah. Why are you eating your face to start with? That's stupid. Fingers, right? Fingers? Why wouldn't I have a whole left arm? I've got my whole arm to go because I'm right-handed. Probably I go belly actually.

That's hot. Just your belly like- No, that's also- Because it's a chocolate heel. Yeah, but it's gonna work the same as- Yeah, that's a good jiggle. That's what all the chocolate is. That is what all the chocolate is. But we've just established- We've just established- Yeah, right? That's what all the chocolate is. That is where all the chocolate is. But we've just established Right? That's where all the chocolate is. We've just established that the human body would still function the same. So you eat your belly, you're no longer eating again. Well no, because he's not eating his belly.

I can eat every other organ, I just keep my stomach going. So I guess you don't have any pain receptors? No, I hope not. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Oh gosh! You don't have any pain Yeah Yeah, I love Wonka brands chocolate could you as wonka maybe before the mum gets her chocolate boy back If I could maybe dress up a umpa-lumpa in say Augustus clothes clothes and be like yeah in the chocolateing procedure he just happened to turn into an Oompa Loompas. All the Oompa Loompas are workers here that have had horrific Oompa Loompas, stupidity mum.

Anyway here's a child, bye! I am Augustus Gloop, your son. See? He's singing the song. He's singing his your son song. I do love though your excuse that you implicate yourself in further. Every Oompa Loompa's a child that had a horrible and disgusting accident. I mean, fun, not that.

It's adults that had a... Just yours. But I'm not admitting fault. This is your son. I saved your son. He actually came in like this? Yeah, I think I feel I would try to gaslight the hell out of the parents and be like

this Oompa Loompa is your child, he always was your child. What are you talking about? Augustus, go to your family. Oompa, Oompa, Stop talking like that dude. You can't be saying that shit. You can't be saying that shit, you're a little German boy now. He's got a German a little German boy now.

With a German accent. Come on now. Oompa loompa loompadie. No bro, you can't even be. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa.

You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa.

You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. You can't say oompa loompa. That's still works. In a German accent. Ja ja ja ja. Right is right. Here's your son, madam. Is gut? Ah? Ah?

I think we solved this one. Das, your boy, Augustus. Ja? It seems so. My son has forgotten how to speak German. The process fucks him up. Yeah. Yeah.

Fucks him up with a bunch of ways. Long bath, he'll be right after. It's fine. Yeah. It's fine. But he's not made of chocolate. He's just the oompa loompa. You're just making a bag of the oompa loompa.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like chocolate in his ear or whatever. Give him a bath. Give him a bath. Give him a bath. Give him a shower. In Germany, away from where we currently are.

Go now, goodbye. What about Veruca Soto? She's a real sack of shit. She doesn't pull the golden ticket. Her dad sets up the kind of factory. And then she gets a ticket from one of the ladies at the factory. Yeah, which is great because that means that... She's good at explaining the working class.

Her and her family. Her dad already runs a factory. Exactly. Yeah. And the workers are too afraid. Think her mom works for Playboy? Yeah. Maybe.

Yeah. But the works are too afraid to like pocket that golden ticket or whatever. Yeah. They're really running like their factory with an iron fist. Absolutely. Can you find out what her dad's factory manufactures? Because I would be scared that the dad would instead of running Willy Wonka. Turn it into like a weapons facility or something? First off, let's hear. Under the Rorald the Half Handler. Her personality. Tell me if

this is not good for a CEO. Greedy. Perfect. Spoiled. Great. Gritty. Demanding. Oh yeah. Deceitful. Good for a CEO greedy perfect. Nice boiled ratty demanding Deceitful loud Immature okay less over indulgent. Yeah, that's pretty good manipulative. Oh, yeah mean Arrogant snobbish rude blunt. She's a real sucker shit

Snobbish rude blunt. She's a real sucker shit Ironical oppressive xenophobic Baby disrespectful Stingy stingy cynical and nasty boisterous. Is a humorous hubris hubris Next, so cynical, nasty, and then... Humorous? She is funny. Oh yeah, humorous?

Yeah, she's funny. Pretty funny, funny girl. Pretty funny? I would be worried. Ego-centric? Yeah. Gotta have a big ego to run a business. Why does it say that she was formally sweet

and charming and nice? What happened to her? I don't know, she got rich, I guess. Yeah, she was formally sweet and charming and nice? What happened to her? I don't know. She got rich, I guess. Yeah, she was a formally adorable. Yeah, that's pretty funny Here's what I would be worried about is that she's English. Yeah Alright Governor, let's get to work at the factory Yeah, that is what they sound like That is what they sound like

She's got a lot of a lot of animals I got two dogs, four cats, six body rabbits, two parakeets, three canaries. Thought that said centaurs, was very confused. A green parrot, a ball of goldfish, thought that said goblins, a cage of white mice, and an ampster. A bowl of goblins. You zoomed into my list of animals way too late there. I had already finished saying them. To have a bowl of goblins.

What a signifier of wealth. I love me mum and me dad. They raised me to be a sucker shit So you're Rupert Salt? My dad Rupert? He is the owner of Salt's Nuts I knew it was nuts! But is Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory gonna become Willy Wonka's Nut Factory?

Well the thing is there, what does Sam Kropotkar have? I would love to work for a nut factory What are you going to doing in a nut factory? Do you make the nuts? I hope so. You shell the nuts. You shell the nuts? Yeah.

I feel like a factory. It's like maybe a processing plant. Yeah. What? You're like a factory, you're gonna be manufacturing. Well, I'm guessing... You're gonna be manufacturing the nuts. Is that where the factory part comes from?

The fact... I assume sir from manufacture manufacturing So schnuts will we Manufacture II do not William salts nuts. No, it's rude. Nobody's gonna take the Willy Wonka Oh, yeah, won't is not factory. Yeah who can take the sunshine? It's not factory. Yeah, who can take the sunshine? How do you get rich from a nut factory everyone likes the nuts everyone likes nuts dude also yeah Do you have it like is like is knobby rich knobbies nuts? Yeah, yeah, dude

He would be stacked with cash dude just fat stacks. Okay, think about nuts Yeah, yeah Think about nuts think about how many products are like have nuts. Yeah. Think about nuts. Think about how many products have nuts. Nuts are in everything so much that you have to have other products being like, this product has no nuts. Exactly. Oh, that's true.

The base assumption about every product is that it has nuts. Exactly. So that's- That's why we gotta be like, yeah, don't worry, this one don't have nuts. Yeah, yeah. This one, lot of nuts.

Lot of nuts, exactly. So you can buy nut just by itself. Yeah. You want knobby nut, right there. You can get like, say chocolate, it's very good when it's often paired of nuts. Lot of nuts, exactly. So you can buy a nut just by itself. You want nobby nut, right there. You can get like say chocolate, it's very good when it's often paired with nuts. Exactly. You get like a Brazil nut, macadamia nut, peanut. Peanut butter.

Peanut butter, great butter. I watched a video the other day about a guy who made a cashew burger, which was just a hamburger with toasted cashews on it. Didn't look good, but he made it. Also yeah, when you're thinking about other like products that might have you know not that we don't think about but like you know anything that's sort of more like maybe even vegan you're gonna like you know grind up that nut and make like you know it's sort of

a flower yeah or you can you know milk that nut and you get like nut milk nuts is money dude nuts all the way down That's his money. I've always said it. So you reckon Anthony knobby knoblet. Mm-hmm the founder of knobbies nuts died rich Yeah, I believe he died rich Didn't die rich I think if he was alive today, he would be though one of the wealthiest men Yeah, I reckon he's the guy who came up with the double entendre tagline nibble knobbies nuts? And then when they when knobbies nuts eventually went to the UK in 2005 gobble knobbies nuts They changed it to

Gobby knobbies goblin Advertising featured musician Noddy Hodder. Sorry Noddy Holder, sorry, Noddy Holder of the rock band Slade, frustrated that Pubgo has misheard the brand name for himself. This advert was only shown after 9 p.m. due to its risque humor. One is Noddy like, nibble Noddy's nuts. I reckon.

Nibble my fucking nuts. Oh, and you. Suck me off, I'm Noddy from Slade. It could have been. Eat Nobby's nuts and suck me off. Well if Noddy didn't become a millionaire, whoever was manufacturing those nuts were. Because he could have been buying them from somewhere else and repackaging them. Exactly. Nuts is money dude. Nuts is money.

So again, and if you're making, if you inherit that is money So again, you know and and if you're making if you're if you inherit that chocolate factory I think you're turning it into a nut but not just that but you you why why would you you already have a nut because he's Egotistic yeah, I know but you have the nut factory chocolate you Use the cheap nuts that you're already getting. Yeah put into that chocolate and you're selling a delicious wonka nut bar Do you think that the burgad family would be? Satisfied having some family the salt family excuse me Do you think the salt family would be satisfied not having their name on the product wonka salt like a like a yeah? You know kind of a whale and you don't assaults not chocolate. Yeah

Chocolate that makes you not Be screened in britain after not being in the game? oh i saw this ad on the tv the television are you you think we we didn't know what tv meant? what's the bit here? can you explain it?

i really want to participate i just need to know who i am in this scenario you're obviously a brit man who watched the ass I'm the BBC Hello, yes, I'm the BBC I was watching TV The television I am aware

870 837 870 837 There was an advertisement Okay That was before 9pm they said you eat this chocolate it's gonna make you nut Are you sure it wasn't when you said 8.70 did that mean 10 past 9? Sir?

Big clock operates on old made up British time What could you mean by that sir? Could you elaborate on old made up British time. What could you mean by that, sir? Could you elaborate on old made up British time? No, no, I just want whoever made that ad to be thrown in the Tower of London. Thrown in. Thrown into the tower? Like thrown into it or flown into it?

Thrown! Okay, I think he means thrown. You said thrown? I think he's speaking with a sort of interesting accent. He might be German It's hard to say. Yeah. Hey, we'll take your complaint on board. Thank you so much for calling the BBC. No worries Have a great night. I'm off to have a cuppa. Yeah you too you too Yeah, okay what about Burg, okay, what about-

What about our- What about Violet Beauregard? Okay, what about- Her dad's a- She's the one I know the least about. Her dad's a used car salesman. Useful. She loves chewing gum, and she's annoying.

So used car salesman, hopefully she would have learned, you know, if she hung around her dad a lot, she would have learned some of those like sales pitch kind of- And he seems like, from when, in the interview of the family yeah he the dad tries to sell the interviewer a car that's funny he always on that grind yeah ABC and I think he tries to sell Willy Wonka a car too hey you driving this boat how about fuck you drive a car that's a good sales pitch that's a good point going under the docks hey man you driving this boat yeah fuck you stuff he's on a boat he's gonna take a page to get down to fight you expression that like you know the

best two days of owning a boat is the day you buy it and they you sell it all it is upkeep you know what a car buy a car buy Fuck your boat! Fuck your boat, buy a car! I got six. Maybe I will buy a car. What I'm hearing here is maybe we have a dream team set in there. You've got the sales pitch of maybe a Violet, and then we have MikeTV who is the guy there, the bean counter. He's counting all his money, he's making sure that he's keeping a track of the bottom part. Maybe you've got Varukha Sult as kind of like that mean, tyrannical, xenophobic middle manager,

you know? Formally adorable. Formally adorable. Something went wrong. You need someone in middle management to threaten to kill employees. Yeah, exactly. And that employees are putting in many complaints that are ignored by opera management. And then have maybe we hire Charlie Bucket as HR. So it looks like we're doing something.

But really he's the face of the company. Charlie Wonka. Charlie Wonka salt nuts chocolate. The chocolate that'll make you nut. Buy our car, fuck your boat. Because I think it's a good look for the factory, especially after all the deaths, for the factory to be like, a humble orphan runs it now. Isn't that? You sell that story to the press. That's beautiful. Doesn't he have a parent? No, no, no, no, no.

We killed him, I mean, you know his parents are dead. Grandpa Joe Heart Attack. Yeah, he, no, no. We killed his mom, I mean, you know his parents are dead. Grandpa Joe heart attack. Yeah, he was 96 years old. Four heart attacks for all the grandparents. And these parents, real parents are missing. Yeah, they. We don't know, we don't know. Willy Wonka's gonna legally adopt him, okay?

Yeah, that's beautiful. That's so nice. I do think Charlie would be a decent, yes, the face of the company, but also like, I think he'd also be pretty decent with HR, because you gotta make it look like we care. Yes. We gotta make it look like,

oh, we're hearing your complaints. Yeah. The only people I can't really hear place for in our company is Augustus Gloop. You need, no, it's like when you, you know, hmm. Cause like, yeah, you're like, right, he's a good- What if we use him as the logo? Chocolate's so good, you'll die for it.

Augustus Gloop Memorial Chocolate What if we lean into the fact that a child died visiting our factory? What if we- yeah Augustus Gloop presents Chocolate Worth Dying for Maybe the chocolate has like a strawberry center so you bite into it and it's like it's his blood Yeah! How about this habit? Chocolate's so good you can't help yourself Oh! And then we show the CCTV

Man of him turned into chocolate. Yeah, and it's so good. He can't help himself. He has to eat himself. That's beautiful Hello BBC. I've seen a distressing ad on television again I'm pretty sure Vicks me clock. Congrats. But I did just see a little boy die on television. Yeah, okay.

And then it said, chocolate's so good it makes you not. Have you tried the chocolate? No makes you not. Am I? Have you tried the chocolate? No I have not! In between two episodes of my favorite television program and all the horses. And all the horses.

I'm not aware of that one sir. Horses and... What's it called? Only Fools and Horses? Only Fools and Horses? Only Fools and Horses! Sorry the line broke up there, you misheard me. How bad?

Anyway, I think you should remove this ad about a child dying, or at least push it to watershed. Okay, we'll take that into account. Thank you. So enjoy the rest of your night. I will. Or EastEnders is up next, that's alright. I'm not here to have a conversation with you sir. Um, I do like Augustus Gloop dies in the pipe. Chocolate's so good it makes you nuts. Yeah, chocolate's so good it makes you nuts. Oh okay. And then in brackets die. Yeah yeah yeah.

I was leaning in more of a you know you see, you can't help yourself, a little bit naughty trick, but I guess we can go with, um, So good you'll make yourself kill yourself or something, whatever. So good you'll make yourself kill yourself or something. I don't know. As the chocolate so good that comes up in the scream, it's like with Augustus Gloop screams in the bite. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

Chocolate so good you kill yourself HA HA HA SO DELICIOUS HA HA HA YUMMY He was having a great time in the pipe I don't know, I don't know, I'm kidding Well he was enjoying it a bit Yeah Loves it

And he was happy to leave the chocolate factory as a boy whose days are numbered Yeah yeah yeah Exactly Maybe we could even set up like a kind of like a watch you know, like a live stream of Augustus Gloop eating himself Yeah, people get for like promotion of the fact already stream raise money for a second factory or raise money to rebuild Augustus Gloop

Raise money to make him stronger Raise money to melt him because he's gross to look at Just looks like a German boy I guess. I do like if we're using him as the face. I do like that image of him with your chocolate in his mouth and that's our like, you know, that's the face of our chocolate. I think that's good. You know they say you can't trust a skinny chef or whatever. Yeah.

I think it's kind of that. Can't trust an alive boy? Yeah, can't trust. You need a dead boy to advertise your chocolate. I think we really got a downplay that Gloops tombstone with a halo above Angel is very Yeah, cuz he didn't want to leave

Chocolate we buried an angel Really, what is not chocolate? We buried an angel. Chocolate's so good, even the afterlife won't let you rest. Even angels will die for our chocolate. Yeah! And Augustus Gloop is an angel. He's the sweetest little angel of all. There's a chocolate boy buried in this grave. Augustus Gloop...

Heaven gained another chocolate angel. And then he came back because we married him. Yeah. I think it works. Okay. So I guess, um, with all the working together, I reckon they're gonna run this chocolate factory. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, alternatively, Willy Wonka should have just given this to literally any parent.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Any of the parents would be sweet. Yeah, no, no, no. I don't think so. Cause some of them would just give it straight to their kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess Mr. Salt might,

cause he's to be fucking sorting out salt knots or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the rest, maybe not. No, he doesn't wanna give it, you know, he doesn't wanna displease his daughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, darling. That's what he's always All right, darling. You're a bean face. You can have a bean face. Yeah, fuck you know Fucking always on my ear about

I can't wait to go over watch a double feature of Only voles and horses followed by East Enders. Yeah, that is what British TV is like. Yeah Well, and then followed by a double feature of the bill. Yeah. Oh, yeah Oh to be a British man in his late 40s I believe that British men are probably there. They're born and they're young for a bit. Yeah, they become like I Don't know the British to me. They skip from like 23 to 50. Yeah, I don't know but the British to me they skip from like 23 to 50 yeah I can't imagine a 35 year old British man no 40 year old 60 80 10 3 easily in a museum are you kidding me

just pop around yeah yeah here's here's a beautiful mummy that British men do get to potter we'll be the pottering types yeah rambling you can ramble as a Brit you can ramble as a Brit you can't ramble as anyone else you there's no Aussies rambling no no no that's disappointing yeah so yeah I think working as a great team mm-hmm I think we figured it out I think we're on the factory everyone runs a factory together except the Glosser's Gloob who still dies. And he just becomes the logo. The face of the company.

The grave of the company. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. Eat some chocolate, it'll make you not. This episode's probably making you think about chocolate. You want chocolate, but also, you know, do you want chocolate for this episode? I want chocolate off of this episode. I'm gonna go buy some chocolate right now.

Whoa! It won't be good.