Plumbing the Death Star - Which Fairytale Curse Could You Just Body?

Episode Date: March 24, 2024

Everyone says hey, don't anger that witch or maybe you shouldn't wish upon a monkey paw but we're here to tell you that you have nothing to worry about! Piss off that witch! What they gonna do? Curse you? It's not even that bad! Sure, Disney will often go on and on about how being cursed is bad and it's often the major plot of all their animated films, but is it? Jackson believes he could just body being a toad and live out his best life, JD reckons being cursed to be a genie isn't so bad and Zammit just wants to live his best ape life. Listen in as we discuss what manner of beast a toad with the ability of human speech would look like, come across the man with the plan who hates genies and make one of the best cases that ignorance truely is bliss you'll ever hear.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sandspant Network. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. And Plumbing the Death Star is the pop culture comedy podcast that asks the important questions like, which fairytale curse could you just body? So I'm thinking straight out the gate.

I think if we lived in a world that what had witches. In a world what had witches. What had witches. In a world what had watches. One man suffers their wrath. Tick, tick, tick, tick. Not TikTok. No.

No, TikTok's clock. Oh, yeah. Watches, tick, tick. My lifestyle determines my death. Yes. Tick, tick, tick, tick. I was just going to say, in a world where witches... What did I say? Yeah, all right.

In a world where there are witches, I will be a toad. I could not exist in a world that had witches for long without a witch turning me into a toad. But I think that would significantly improve my life. Okay. Okay, so you wouldn't just body it, you'd thrive. I would flourish. Yeah. I would flourish as a toad. But I think that would significantly improve my life. Okay, so you wouldn't just body it, you'd thrive. I would flourish. I would flourish as a toad.

Would you be able to body the cure then? Or would that depress you? I don't know. Oh, getting kissed by a beautiful princess. I wouldn't want it. Is it getting kissed by a beautiful princess or just getting kissed in general? I think it has to be, well, I guess by anyone. Or maybe it's got to be a true love's kiss. Yeah, got to kiss a couple of toads or something. Yeah, I guess by anyone. Okay. Or maybe it's got to be a true love's kiss.

Yeah, got to kiss a couple of toads or something. Yeah, I don't know how that works because you would think the lesson would be, hey, princess, anyone can be beautiful. You've overlooked the fact that they're a toad. Yeah. And now you've been rewarded with a handsome prince. But it goes in the other direction where it's like, toad, you just gotta be lucky, I guess. You gotta be lucky enough that some freak princess will

kiss you. If I was a toad and a princess picked me up and kissed a toad, when I became a man again, I would be like, you're yuck. You can talk though, right? Yes! Hey! Ladies! Put me down! Kiss me on the head, I'll kill myself!

I'll jump right off this pond. Right off this pond? Mm-hmm. This fountain. I was imagining I was in a fountain. I will jump into this pond and I will not submerge. I'll drown myself. Frogs can drown, that's true.

Yeah, absolutely frogs can drown. Yeah, I guess if you can't talk, that curse is fucked. Yeah. You just become a toad. And then you're like, I've got to find your true love. Could be any number of toads. Well, I suppose if I can't talk, it's like no princess is kissing me. No.

I can't convince anyone to kiss me. No one's kissing toad. Do you think a toad could non-verbally indicate that it requires... Can a toad do kissy lips? Could it? No. Well, it depends. What's a toad's mouth? Does a toad do kissy lips? Could it? No. Well, it depends. What's a toad's mouth?

Does a toad have lips? Frogs? Frog lips? Did we say that about people? You got frog lips? Look at them frog lips. No, I feel like a toad's mouth is one of these. Yeah, like...

I could probably do this. I could probably up onto the side of the pond and be like... I'm like, would you kiss me? No. No, because that's just like a frog doing a frog. Or a toad doing a toad. What I would do is a toad.

You get to rip it, though. That's awesome. So you've got little fingers and there's mud. I'd write, oh, yeah, kiss me. But you don't want that. So you're like, don't kiss me. I love being toad. My life is so good now me I love being toad my life is so good

now that I'm a toad I'm riding so much to make sure that you believe me and do not kiss me it's taking me so long but to me this is worthwhile

tell everyone I dry out in the sun I spend so much time riding if you were a toad and you wanted to be kissed you couldn't speak and you have to do the kissy lips or mouth open. Toads do that in general.

Yeah, I think if I opened my mouth and then I gestured with my toad hand to my mouth, they'd be like, he wants bugs. Feed me. Feed me. Actually, yeah, could you body eat all the bugs? Yeah. Because when you're a toad, a bug is delicious. What if you're cursed with human taste buds?

Well, that's less than ideal. It's a bittersweet situation. I mean, I always just assumed that the way the curse works is that everything mentally stays exactly the same. But I've got a toad's taste buds now. Do you? Well, if I'm a toad with a man's tongue, it's actually a blessing, not a curse.

Well, you're a toad with a man's tongue, but maybe you have a man's lips as well, because I don't know if... Toad with a man mouth. If you gotta kiss a princess, you can't really do that with toad lips. No, you can't. The princess usually kisses the toad on the head.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I can kiss the princess if I have a man's mouth. Yeah. You can kiss back. A toad that kisses back. Toad walking up to you. I'd stand on it.

If it's got a man's mouth, then you can still talk. Hey, baby, come give some lips, some kisses on this. Hey, baby, come give some lips to this toad. I guess you would have to have, yeah, a whole... God gave me a man mouth for man kisses. Yeah, you'd have a toad with a human mouth and gullet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm just becoming a man's head with toad arms and legs.

That's what you're doing to me. You'd have to have the lips for kissing, the teeth, definitely the tongue. Yeah, tongue for talking. But yeah, you'd have to have like... Voice box. Voice box, esophagus all that kind of stuff

maybe it's like a I'm sort of like a toad centaur yeah toad body neck head no because you'd be toad body

human mouth but the face is all toad it's all toad yeah and then toad neck yeah well that's if I need to talk

which you actually well well I don't want to though yeah but it's a curse you don't want a curse. But the toads we see in fairy tale fiction, they're just toads. Yeah, they don't look like giant, horrible freaks. They are an animated...

But they might have human lips sometimes. Sometimes they do. I'll take human lips. That's just an artistic impression. The frog that sings, hello, my baby, hello, my darling. He sort of has human lips. Yeah, yeah, he sort of has human lips. Well, maybe I could just, like... If that frog's not being kissed, you're not being kissed. Hello, my darling. He sort of has human lips. Yeah, yeah. He sort of has human lips. Well, maybe I could just like...

If that frog's not being kissed, you're not being kissed. Yeah, exactly. Is it... Does it have to be like by my true love or could I just be like kissing people that I'm just like... Just like it's like a one-time thing? Yeah, I think... I don't think it's true love.

Just anybody kisses me? Yeah. Or if I kiss anybody? Or it has to be maybe a princess or something? Well, then I can just kiss, you know, whoever. But you don't want the curse to break. No, yeah. But I Or if I kiss anybody. Or it has to be maybe a princess or something? Well, then I can just kiss whoever. But you don't want the coast to break. No, yeah, but I might want to kiss people. I might want to do some toad

kisses. Well, yeah, you can still do toad kisses and I think you're safely a toad. I can kiss other toads. Okay, so how are you adapting to toad life? Yeah. How are you bodying this? For one, I think... The toad looks like the frog from The Prince and the Frog. Looks like it's got human teeth. Oh, I hope that's not true.

Human teeth means I could chew the flies, I guess. Because I think the way a toad... Disturbing. I like it. He's a rapscallion. I'm pretty sure the way a toad swallows is that they... This is maybe not true. They push back with their eyes.

Yeah, they push their eyebrows... Not eyebrows, their eyeballs into their... Into their neck yeah they push their eyebrows not eyebrows their eyeballs into their into their neck i guess and they shove the food backward that's scary because like here's the thing a toad that goes from tadpole to toad yeah he's had some time to adapt yeah me i've gone from man to toad no middle ground yeah so i'm scared that if i'm like i got the fly in my throat and i'm like well i don't know how to swallow as a toad. Oh, I just push my eyeballs down. What if I'm going to swallow my eyeballs?

Swallow my eyeballs into my throat. You got to like catch stuff with your tongue. Oh, I'm going to fuck that up so much, dude. I'm going to fuck up throwing the tongue because like... You're going to starve to death. That's so sad because my aim is not great. No. Tongue-eye coordination. Yeah. This is great. Cane toads extend their tongue That's so sad Because my aim's not great No Tongue eye coordination

Yeah This is great Cane toads extend their tongue up to 80% of the length of their skulls When unrolling them to catch prey And retract them at an impressive 87% of their skull length When slingshotting their tongue into their throats Even then, scientists could only guess at how they swallowed their food That's awesome

Nobody knows. Such a scientist. We don't know how this toad is swallowing. He's doing it, though. Good on him, though. Oh, there's an x-ray of a frog feeding, showing how they consume prey. Well, I'd figure it out. Instinct, right?

No, but you've got a man brain. In desperation, I'd figure it out. Your instinct would be to chew. Well, I know how to eat a hot dog. Yeah, you bite, chew, swallow. Yeah, so I just find a hot dog. But you can't. It'd take me a long time.

And you have frog lips. A frog could eat a hot dog. A frog could not eat a hot dog. In little bits. Can a frog digest a hot dog? In little bits? No. How are you cutting up a hot dog?

What's the difference between a fly-sized bit of hot dog and a fly? A fly is crunchy. Yeah, hot dogs. Got different nutritions that frogs like. Yeah. Well, like I said, I think I would come to like flies and bugs and shit. Yeah. What do you reckon is the best-looking bug to eat?

Like a beetle. A beetle? Crunchy. You reckon it would be crunchy? Like a little black beetle. I think actually, even now as a man, it looks good. Yeah? Yeah. Imagine you get a little black beetle, you coat it, like, even now as a man, it looks good. Yeah? Yeah.

Like, imagine you get a little black beetle, you coat it in some chili sauce. Oh, yes. Why chili sauce? I don't know. It feels appropriate. It feels like the best sauce for the occasion. It feels like, what are you having with garlic butter? Oh, no, that'd be nice too.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So it looks like what you're doing as a toad. Yeah. As you're catching, like catching the fly with your tongue. Slamming it back in my throat. No, you're using your tongue to throw the bug in the back of your throat

and then pushing it down. That seems hard to do. Good luck. Well, look, there's a chance I'll starve to death. Yeah. I've accepted that. There's a chance you'll starve to death as a man. I might forget how to eat.

Yeah, you could get lost one day. Yeah. I could be sitting in my kitchen looking at a banana and being like, what the fuck am I meant to do? Yeah, that's where you get that gloop that helps you swallow. Yeah, exactly. Thick water or whatever they call it. What? There's like a special water that's thick, helps you swallow.

Sad time, but with people who have Alzheimer's, they sometimes forget how to swallow. They drink that thick water. It's like thick water. It's got gloopy things. I thought the thick water was making fun of Jackson because he can't swallow tablets. Oh, right. No, no, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they forget that you can't swallow tablets. Well, as a frog, I'd have a different mouth. Actually, that's a pretty good point. If you can't swallow tablets, good luck swallowing a fly. I can swallow a fly. You could swallow a fly, but you can't swallow a little tiny... A fly's soft, dude. A fly is soft, sure.

A fly's not soft. It's not soft. Also, comparatively to your head. A fly's soft, dude. A fly is soft, sure. A fly's not soft. It's not also comparatively to your head. A fly's bigger. Yeah. Yeah, but I got more throat. I don't think you do. A frog is all throat, dude.

A frog is not all throat and has pretty much no neck. Yeah, exactly. Because it's all throat. No neck, just throat. It's like if your head went straight into your body. Yeah.

It's awesome. This is all throat, baby. But the moment the witch casts the spell on me, I immediately all my... I don't need to make money anymore. That's true. I don't need to do the dishes. No. I don't need to go anywhere. Yeah. Do anything.

Yeah. I just sit on a lily pad. That's it. Ribbit every now and then. Well, if I'm a... Choke on a fly. Does a frog rib... Does a toad ribbit? I don't believe so. The toads go... Okay, every little growbit every now and then? Well, if I'm a toad. Choke on a fly? Does a toad ribbit? I don't believe so. Okay, have a little growl every now and then. That's great. Someone comes past with a golf club and hits you or something.

Lifespan of a toad. Why did they do that, dude? 10 to 15 years. That's not bad. It's all right. Does that start when you become the toad? I hope so. Well, I think typically in that that start when you become the toad? I hope so. Well, I think typically in that situation they make you

an adult toad. Yeah. Because they don't curse me to become a tadpole. Yeah, that's true. If they did that, I would flop around on the ground and dry out and die. But if they make me an adult toad, I've got like, what, six years left? It's crazy that a tadpole grows into a toad. Oh, it fucks me up, dude. You look at a tadpole it's tiny. Yeah. And then

somehow, where does it, this is a crazy thing to say and I do know the answer but still where does it get the mass how does a tiny thing become a big thing it eats yeah I know

that's what I said I know how it happens it conserves it turns how does a baby become a man same thing I know

how does an embryo become an but it's crazy what are you talking about you're saying it's not crazy? It is crazy. It's crazy. I said I knew exactly why that's not.

I get it. But it's crazy. That's the beauty of life. It's a crazy beauty. It's a crazy miracle. The beauty of life. Arses. Right.

Tits. Okay. Cocks. Balls. They're pretty good too. Pussies. Nice. It's good to look at a pair of balls and be like, the miracle of life.

Here they are. Yeah. All contained within. That is exactly where you just... Yeah, balls are awesome to hold. Have you ever had the thing... I see this in movies. I don't know if it's real, where the doctor holds your balls and says, cough.

No, I've never had a doctor hold my balls. Actually, yes. It's happened once when I sprained my nuts. They said cough? Uh. I don't know what that does. No, they lifted. No, actually, there was no cough.

I don't know what the cough does. I mean, I get that the cough would make you tense, but I don't know what that tells you. It does lift them up a bit. Yeah, but why does the doctor need that? Yeah, the doctor could just go like that. Yeah, maybe it's a test to see if there's, like, what's the decimal? Well, maybe it's, like, if you cough and the doctor could just go like that. Yeah, maybe it's a test to see if there's like,

what's he testing for? Well, maybe it's like if you cough and the balls don't go up. Yeah, like he's testing reflexes kind of

thing, like are you tapping your knees, the same sort of similar vibe or is somebody tapping your nuts?

Yeah, because when I spray my nuts, the doctor lifted my nuts. He said, all right, I'm just going to quickly lift your

nuts a bit. Let me know if this hurts. I went like that. Yeah. What are they testing for? It actually made it feel way better. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't going to quickly lift you nuts a bit. Let me know if this hurts. I went like that. It's interesting. What are they testing for? It actually made it feel way better.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't know what that's about. Hold nuts. But even if I had to, I have six years left as a toad. Yeah. Best six years of your life. Yeah. A doctor can feel for a hernia.

Oh, I see. Interesting. Well, that makes sense. Maybe that's what they were doing when they were lifting it, too. Yeah, the hernia, coughing, the hernia causes a bulge. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Well, yeah, best six years of my life. And, like, you know, I could die in six years now, so. That's true. Might as well live it as a toad. Yeah, we could all be dead before this episode comes out. That's true. Yeah, exactly. Why not live as a toad?

Why not eat some flies, hang out with some other toads? Yeah. You know, fucking suck, live in the dream. But you have a human brain. Yeah, well, but I'd get used to it. Just adapt? Yeah, I would. I don't know.

This is the situation I found myself in. I don't know if six years is long enough for me to adapt, to have a lovely frog spouse or toad spouse. I just don't know. I'm me with a frog brain. I've got toad hormones now, dude. I'm horny for that frog puss. There's nothing I can do about it.

Let me rub that wet patch in your wet patch, babe. It's like if right now somebody injected frog hormones into your brain. Yeah. Some part of you would want to rub wet patches. I guess. And then, you know, I'm sure maybe my human mind would reject it. Yeah. But I got those frog hormones.

You got frog body. Well, toad body. Frog or a toad, really? I think I would go toad. Okay. Interesting. I don't really know what the difference is. Toads are cooler.

They're more disgusting, that's for sure. They're bad ass. I might have gone frog. Yeah, I would have gone frog. Why? What's the difference? More agile. Yeah, but I'm tougher as a toad.

That's true. And if a fox comes or a big bird, I can go... And now, hey! The big bird will be like, whoa, who's this guy now? Where's a frog you're going to get at? Yeah, if I'm a frog, I just go, fuck it. I get eaten. That is so funny.

From the bird's perspective, the bird's like, there's dinner. And then it gets... And it's like, dinner got big. Dinner got big and angry. That's like your hot dog. Just grows twice as big. Oh, hold on. You're about to get like, you're about to do a steak.

And you're about to do that. The steak gets bigger and gets like a frowny face. I guess not. Oh, okay. My steak's a guy. Yeah, my steak's a guy. My steak's a big guy. I think my steak's a predator. I think my steak's a guy. My steak's a big guy. I think my steak's a predator. I think my steak's a predator of me.

Yeah. What would it take for us? What hunts us? Nothing. Maybe. Top of the food chain. Beach. You know.

Way back where? Oh, well, everything. Sabretooth tiger? Yeah, but it didn't need to. I mean, you could probably scare a saber-toothed tiger by appearing big. Yeah. I think. Clapping at it, probably frighten it.

Do you ever think about if you were confronted with, say, a jaguar, what you would do? Not at all. I would like to imagine I'm in my car when this happens. Yeah, but I think, I know with cougars, it's like back the fuck. Yeah, yeah, get out of there. Just keep walking. I would not, I tried to, my, what's the thing? Where was the guy, yeah, it was like, I think it was like a mountain lion or something, whatever it was.

One where they're like, when they charge and they do like that big thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thing. And he's accidentally. It's like his front paws go. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay, I get it. I don't understand why, but I understand.

I can imagine. You can imagine the motion, yeah. Yeah, and you're like, ah, this is a mountain lion or a cougar or whatever it is. And yeah, he's just on a trail, and I'm guessing it was like, they had cubs nearby, I didn't realize. And he's just filming it, like, in the back, and he's walking backwards. Yeah. At the mountain path or the trail.

So, trying to like, I hope I don't get hit by this goddamn fucking cat. Yeah, yeah. My worry is I would fall over walking backwards. Yeah. Yeah. The moment I have

a quick little glance back. You're going to miss the magoo off a rock. Either I'm going to miss the magoo, trip over it, it's going to hit my skull. Yeah, yeah.

Or I'm just going to like, yeah, careen off a cliff. Or the moment I just like glance back, that's when it's going to hit my skull. Yeah, yeah. Or I'm just going to, like, yeah, careen off a cliff. Or the moment I just, like, glance back, that's when it's going to strike. Absolutely. I think that if you're both talking about this, Zammett, you're more likely to step backwards,

fall off the cliff. Yeah. Jax, you're more likely to trip over a rock, fall down pants, fall down, fart comes out, then cougar eats your ass. Oh, ass first. That is the softest part of me yeah it makes sense it's crazy like it's been drawn attention to it because of the little fart that's crazy that made

him more interested but it's funny because like so when a body decomposes lots of tiny animals go for the mouth and the tongue and the ass it's funny for that to happen immediately i fall crack my head i'm oh, I think this is it. And then I just watch as a bunch of forest animals come out. Why? So quick, I'm not even dead. Is that eating your tongue? A little squirrel pulling my tongue off.

Oh, my God. Yeah, at that point, it feels intentional. Or they were like, he's going to rot quicker than normal. Something about this guy. We can tell that he's already rotting from the inside. Eating you from the ass out. Yeah. Borrowing in there.

He got in there quick. Yeah, good on him. And I think I could avoid true love's kiss. Yeah, I think you could do that too. I think the chances of getting kissed as a toad are slim anyway. Yeah. But I think, you know. If you don't talk, no one's kissing you.

Everybody just thinks I'm a regular toad in the pod. Yeah, exactly. And also, there's nothing to just, I mean, I suppose I would become a toad that looks like me. Yeah. Right, in some way, it would be like, that's the Jackson. Probably wearing glasses and a hat or something. Yeah, okay. Unless you get like, I don't know, like the Rex Hunt of toad catching.

Oh, no. Yibbity yibbity. And they give you a big kiss. How would you do that? If that happens, if the Rex Hunt of toad catching is like, oh no. Yibbity yibbity. And they give you a big kiss. Why would you do that? If that happens, if the Rex Hunt of Toad Catching is like, oh, there's a good one, and grabs me,

that's when I break my vow of silence. I'm like, oh, hey, actually, time out, dude. Rex, put me down. Rex, bro, Rex, bro. I'm actually a man in the form of a toad. And if you kiss me

when you send me back, I will become a man again. And I've decided for personal reasons to stay a toad. I plan on dying of toad all day. Rex Hunt's like, oh, doggy toad! And throws on dying of toad all day. Oh, doggy toad!

It throws me in a wall. Splatter. Throwing a toad in a wall. And it letting out a rush. Oh, fuck! Why, mate? Oh, fuck. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Shit! Do you want a little toad throw-off? Jesus Christ, man. I was just talking to you. Yeah Jesus Christ, man. I was just talking to you. Yeah, ooh, mates. Ooh, mates, mate. Yeah, but that's the thing. If anybody picked me up

and I thought there was a chance they were going to kiss me. Yeah. And obviously that might lead to an awkward moment or two where somebody picks me up to be like, look at this gross toad.

And I'm like, don't kiss me. I'm not going to. I wasn't going to. Well, good. Yeah, good. I'm going to hack you into a wall. Oh, come on, man. I wasn't going to. Well, good. Yeah, good. I'm gonna hack you into a wall. Oh, come on, man. I thought we were mates.

Four. Oh! Fuck! Ow! Look, I think turning into something as a curse, there is a couple you could body, and I think that the most obvious one, the one, and this guy,

he fucking sucks it up big time about being turned into this, but I think it'll be chill. And that is the genie from Aladdin. Okay. Curse me as a genie. Put me in a bottle. All right. You're taking the Jafar ending?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, I guess I'm taking the, yes. He's like, I wish to be a genie. You become a genie. And then he gets put in a bottle. Yeah. Yeah.

So yeah, I've gone Jafar. Yeah. But yeah, so you just leave my lamp lying around or whatever. Also, Jafar isn't in the lamp for that long because in Jafar, Return of Jafar. I mean, Aladdin, Return of Jafar. No, no, Jafar, Return of Jafar. Jafar, Return of Jafar. Yeah, yeah.

He's back out again. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, someone just throws a lamp away. Yeah. Someone gives me a roll, I'm out. Because Genie, the original Genie, he's trapped in that lamp for like 10,000 years. Yeah. So that's...

You think you're going to be a bodyguard? Yeah. You'd be bored, right? It's a lot of time to think. Jack off. Jack off. Jack off your Genie tale. Yeah.

Where are you getting rid of the waste? I don't think it's a Genie. You just magic it away. Because you can do small shit as a Genie. A little bit magical. Do you think you could deal with somebody robbing the lamp and then making you do wishes? Yeah. I think that would actually be easy.

It'd be a bit of, you know. Something to do to break up the monotony, I guess. Like, oh, I got three things. Yeah. You know, you can't, and you can't. Bring back, no back from dead, no fallen love, and something else. I just think it's a risk, because, like, say I get the lamp and I rub it. You're like, I am the powerful.

Hey, what's up? It's me, Joel the Genie. You rubbed my lamp, you got three wishes. Oh, that's sweet. I wish that you were in immense pain am the powerful. Hey, what's up? It's me, Joel the Genie. You broke my lamp. You get three wishes. Oh, that's sweet. I wish that you were in immense pain all the time. I think at that point I would. Constant agony. I wish every second for you felt like 10 million years.

And I wish it never ended. And I throw the lamp away. Well, here's the... What a good way to fuck over a genie. I have a personal vendetta against genies. You're very unlucky I robbed your lamp. But again, as a genie, because we see that the genie... He's got to do it, though.

He's got to do it. I reckon that... You are bound. That's the whole point. You've got to do it! You are bound! That's the whole point! You gotta do it! You gotta cop it dude! You just can't get robbed by someone who hates genies! Okay! Cool dude!

Sweet! If somebody else robs the lamp, they could... But what you need now is somebody to rob the lamp and undo those wishes And Likesub is to waste their wish. Well, I won't be able to communicate. You'll be like, I am a genie. My every second is unimaginable torture. You have three wishes.

Well, yeah, all the time in your lamp, I guess, to body that immense pain. Yeah. And it feels like, wow, that's so many seconds. Here's the thing. I think the genie, but the genie also can just do magic. Yes. I would not be shocked if, so say Robin Williams' genie gets hit with that and then goes into the lamp.

Yeah. Probably undoing it. Oh, you think he's undoing that in the lamp? Yeah. On the sneaky? On the sly? On the sly, surely not. No.

It's against genie rules, dude. No, but he breaks genie rules in fucking Aladdin. What genie rules? He gives him an extra wish. He does give him an extra wish. That's true. Yeah, that's true. Well, you could.

Yeah, because he's like, oh, I granted your wish, but you didn't actually say I wish. So it's a freebie. So we'll give you that as a freebie. Like the first wish? It's the second wish. It's when Aladdin's drowning. Yeah, there's one where he gets out of the cave. That was just a genie showing off.

Yeah, that's true. But you didn't say I wish. Heie showing off. Yeah, that's true. You didn't say, I wish. He just got tricked. So it's not really an extra wish. That was, again, purview of the rules. You have to become contract law. I think that if I meet Jackson, the man who hates genies a lot.

Not even a genie killer, because you're just like, I wish you were there. A genie torturer, excuse me. I reckon I could run into, just go back in the lamp and then just, I think you're going to get got in by the genie killer because you're just like I wish you were there a genie torture excuse me I reckon I could run and just go back in the lamp and then just I think you're gonna get got in by the genie council

if you do that I just think you could do that I think there's also a big chance that because obviously the lamp exists in a different

state like that wouldn't affect me unless I'm out of the lamp which could still happen I think you're trapped in your memory for eternity

I think you get somebody kind that offers like I think you are trapped in a poor eternity. I think he gets up and he kinds it off. He's like, I will waste my three genie wishes on curing you of your ailment. I wish you would not. I wish you would stop screaming. That's so funny because they don't know why you're screaming. I wish you would stop screaming and you're like, oh, I'm still in immense pain. I just can't scream about it. Again, getting hit with wording like that.

You got to remember the genie is tricky. Yeah, that's true. I wish you would stop screaming. Okay, well, the reason I'm still in immense pain. I just can't scream about it. Again, getting hit with wording like that, you've got to remember the genie is tricky. Yeah, that's true. So you might be like, well, the reason I'm screaming is this, so I'll remove that. Plus, maybe when somebody rubs your lamp, you probably revert to zero anyway. No. Because you're there, you're there, they're your master now. But I just think it's a risk. You never know who's going to rub the lamp.

I just don't think there's anyone going to rub the lamp. It's going to be like, fuck I just don't think there's anyone going to rob the lamp. It's going to be like... You get three wishes. Okay, immense pain. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Immeasurable pain. You feel it every second. It feels like a million years and it never ends. Yeah.

See ya. Because also then if you had to retire, then I guess contract laws there, you're like, well, it never ends. So even if you tried to, someone wants to try to wish that away, then... Yeah, I don't know how that works with wishes

if you can counteract a wish. Well, no, because Jafar... How does Jafar un-prince Fabulous Talay? He isn't un-princed. Yeah, I think he remains a prince, doesn't he? He's just not a prince, isn't he? But also, he's never really a prince. Doesn't he wish to be a prince?

Yeah, but I don't know if they make a brand new realm for him to rule over and a dad who is a king. But then in the third one, his dad is the king of thieves. So he was already a prince? Yeah, he was a prince of thieves. Yeah, he was a lot of prince of thieves. But yeah, basically, look, I think that there is far more chance that I run into someone that has nefarious wishes than I just self-harm. Yeah, that's true.

There's no chance that I run into someone that has nefarious wishes that aren't just self-harm. Yeah, that's true. And, yeah, because, like... I want to be rich. Yeah. I don't want to be sick. I want to be strong. Do you reckon you'd be wishing for freedom, Alvo? No.

You don't care? Provided that my lamp gets found every now and then, who cares? How much time between lamp findings would be ideal for you? Because 10,000 seems too much. It's a long time. Yeah, that's too much. To be doing nothing. Every 10 years? Actually, no, that's too short because then everyone will be aware seems too much. It's a long time. Yeah, it's too much. To be doing nothing. Every 10 years?

Actually, no, that's too short because then everyone will be aware of the fact that there's a gene. Yeah, you'll become a hot property. Yeah. 50 years you reckon? Every 50 years? Maybe 200, so it's more than two generations. What are you doing in the lamp, bro? Just hanging out, watching TV. Okay, catch up on movies.

Fair enough. Jacking off my tail, as previously discussed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could you try and be like, basically, you want to get rubbed by someone that you can then trick to make your lamp sweet. Oh, that's true. Hey, bro. Look, you give me three wishes. You repeat after me. Yeah. And then I'll go back to my lamp.

Rub me again. And then the three wishes. Look, shush. But that's what we're going to do. The lamp shoots off. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

but you can find it though. Don't worry, you don't tell him this. Yeah, that's fine. Hey, hey, look,

hey, look, he rubs you. You're like, aha, you're a genius. Yes, you do.

Look, man, I'm going to give you three wishes, right? That you're going to wish for me, and then I'm going to go back in, and then it's going to happen. I'm going to go back in the lamp,

and then I'll give you three wishes, and generally what I'm going to go back in and then it's going to happen so I'm going to go back in the lamp and then you rub it again and I'll come back out and I'll give you three wishes and generally what I'm meant to do is I'm meant to disappear with

genie magic but I will ensure that I don't in fact I'll give you six wishes mate you can do it maybe three times you give nine wishes

so you gotta give me these three wishes I forgot we were lying oh yeah so it's like you gotta break the three okay give me a plasma TV and my lamp In my lamp

Make my lamp So fucking comfortable And whatever else you want Fake ass And a fake ass in my lamp And then you go into the lamp Boo Off you go

Yeah and off I go And he's like You piece of shit Playing that fake ass Like a drum Woo That's why you got it You're not gonna have sex with it

You're just making music Yeah And I'll have sex with it And of course you gonna have sex with it. You're just making music. And I'll have sex with it. Of course you'll have sex with the fake ass. Yeah, that's great. Why not get freed? Why don't you want that? Well, I could get freed. Because then you can just do what you like. Yeah, but I'm just not like... And you're all powerful. No, if I get freed, I lose the genie magic.

Does genie stay genie? Yeah, he stays genie. Yeah, free me then. Yeah, but how would you convince somebody? Hey. I'm not Jackson who hates genies. I'm another guy. I'll give you, if you give me these three wishes.

Hey, if you free me, I'm not bound by wish magic anymore and can grant you more than three wishes. Yeah, but you could also just go. I could, yeah. But I could also just go now. No. I've robbed your lamp.

So I have three... This is what you're offering me. Three guaranteed wishes or a possible infinite wishes. Yeah, I can also... I'm going to stick with the three guaranteed wishes. Yeah, awesome. And measurable pain. I can also monkey pull your wishes, brother.

I can monkey pull those wishes real hard I'll take that risk monkey pull this bitch that's how it happened he tried to bargain with me so I said nope fuck genius

I'm trying to think of an un-monkey-pourable wish. You got to wish so low, so low stakes that if it goes wrong, it's not a big deal. I wish for a good day. Yeah, monkey-pour that. You're going to have a bad night. He's got you there. Got me there, got me there, got me there.

Or you give him just the single of ice cubes today. Or it's like that one day is very good, but then every other day is the worst day measurable. Sorry, you've got to even out your days. So I just took all the good from every day you're ever going to have and put it into one good day. I wish for a monkey paw. I was going to be like, I wish for a monkey paw. That's five more wishes. You can't wish for more wishes, I'm pretty sure. No, but I'm not wishing for more wishes.

I'm wishing for a monkey paw, which contains five more wishes. You can't wish for more wishes, I'm pretty sure. No, but I'm not wishing for more wishes. I'm wishing for a monkey paw which contains five more wishes. You just get a monkey paw and it doesn't do anything. It's still bleeding. Okay, that one's my bad. He doesn't have to do anything. Maybe you get a blood... Point to the genie. You get a blood-borne disease like that monkey.

Oh, no. The monkey paw is attached to a monkey and it bites me. If you think about it, a monkey, you know, if a monkey's paw was magic, every monkey's got four. Yeah. That's 20 wishes.

Every monkey equals 20 wishes. That's a lot of monkey wishes. Yeah. I think that if you did do the immeasurable pain thing, then it would just be very easy for the genie to dedicate their entire life

to destroying you. Someone else finds it, they rub the lamp, you just come out, and you're screaming, you roll. They're like, what the hell just happened? I'm sitting there in a cafe in Agrabah just laughing in front of a punch me.

Nothing in the Genie books says I can't beat the shit out of you. That's true. Strung like me on the streets. Yeah, because he's got a... Picking up a brick, got a He's got a bamboozle to the person

who rubs your lap next. Under the wind! No! I'll kill you! No more! Just slamming

my brain out of the street. And no jury would find me guilty because you can't try a genie. Exactly. You have a whole fucking coffee cup

into your mouth. Drink up, bitch! Just clapping your jaw on it. Worth it. It's worth it to hurt the genie like that. I think so. It's a pretty good way to body the genie. Yeah, absolutely.

Genie's curse. Because I think that there's enough Like loopholing And just stuff you can do That the genie's existence isn't actually that bad And when it's good It's real good I think it's the thing where you're like

The benefit outweighs the negative For being a genie Yes sometimes you might have to do some guy's wishes But you're right Most of the time it's not going to be Torture of the genie And other times you're getting like a Jafar right He's like being a big piece of shit But then he does his three wishes And you're off, most of the time it's not going to be torture of the genie. And other times you're getting like a Jafar, right?

He's like being a big piece of shit but then he does his three wishes and you're off again. Yeah, exactly. It doesn't concern you. Granted, you have formed some human connections

with the others. The blood washed right off. It was easy. So easy. I think what's going to be the worst part about being a genie, it's not even that bad,

is that most people will have very similar wishes. Yeah. So you probably get, you know, say it's every hundred years, 200 years, somebody cracks you open, you're like, all right, let's see. And they're like, I wish I was rich.

Wish I had two assholes for a more effective shitting system. You wouldn't believe how many people wish for that, dude, but done. And I wish I had a million nuts. To make my comms bigger. Juicier loads. Oh my god, it's always the same three wishes.

Enjoy! The waterfall of millionaires with two assholes and a million nuts. That's just life, dude. It's from the genies. There'll be lots of speculation that becoming a millionaire is as simple as getting juicier loads. I think if you had a million nuts, you'd die. Why? I just think that's a lot

of mass on the human body. It's a lot of blood for the heart to pump. How big that must be. Well, what's a million nuts? But it's a genie wish. Maybe instead of them all being in a gigantic scrotum, or they're all just inside you.

Yeah. Or like just hovering behind you. Oh! Or you just give them a big, if you monkey paw them, just a big bag of peanuts. Yeah. That is good. Yeah.

I don't think monkey paw people that didn't like the Bible. Okay. So everyone that rubs your lamp? No, because I'd want to be out for a bit. Yeah, that's fair. Fair, fair, fair. And some people as well, you can probably con when they're like, I get three wishes, and you're like, yeah, but think about it.

Like, let's go into Agrabah and get some drinks, and you just think about it. Yeah. And then you kind of get to hang out out of your lamp for a bit, which is nice. Yeah. That'd be kind of nice. Yeah.

I think it's a good choice. Being a genie is a good choice. Well, I reckon I could body whatever curse they gave Tarzan. Dead parents? Dead parents raised by an ape. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think of dead parents twice, right?

Yeah. What happened? He's got, Kerchak dies. Mom, I hate that. But he was mean to you, dude. Oh, good, my ape dad. He said you're not gorilla enough.

But I am gorilla enough, dad. Wrong. Wrong. And now I'm going to get shot. And then you kill a jack... On fire. No, I think he's shot by Clayton. Oh, that's right. With a big gun.

And your parents have been killed by a plane crash. Yeah, yeah. And a jaguar. Oh, wow. Or a leopard or something.

Damn. You think you could buddy getting raised by apes? I reckon. Especially as a baby. Yeah, why is a baby they just take care of?

Exactly, because I wouldn't be me now. I'd be me as if I was raised by a gorilla. And I think that's pretty good. Do you think if you're an ape man and then you met a lady,

do you think you'd... It kind of just makes me think of the toad situation, where I've got toad hormones, but you've got man hormones. Yeah, because I do not have any toad. Ape hormones. Or gorilla hormones. Yeah. I guess it depends on whether or not you've had sex with a gorilla at this point.

Have you had sex with a gorilla? I mean, it's nature versus nurture, right? Can these gorillas also talk? No, I'm not talking. I don't speak. I speak in grunts. Oh, fuck. I think you've had sex with a gorilla, my friend.

I think I've had sex with a gorilla. But no one could blame you. No jury would find me guilty. No jury would find you guilty. They would say, this is an extremely unique set of circumstances. We're throwing his bestiality charge out, even though he definitely did do it.

Let the law read that this man fucked a gorilla. This man fucked a gorilla, but he didn't know there were other options. He didn't know that he himself was not a gorilla. Yeah, exactly. For the sake of his time in the island. That's so cruel. You've taught me the English language and laws

to then find out I've done something horrible. Yeah. Fuck this. You come back to the civilized world and they're like, that's great, but you fucked a gorilla. You're going to court, Tarzan. You've taught me man thoughts, how to put on pants, and that I fucked a gorilla. Yes. I hate this.

I just like when I had no man thoughts, didn't wear pants, and had fucked a gorilla. How do you think Jane would broach that? Be like, hey, Tarzan. Have you fucked a gorilla. How do you think Jane would broach that? Be like, hey Tarzan. Have you fucked a gorilla? Hey Tarzan. You're not a gorilla. You fucked a... Yeah.

Were you a big virgin when we met? No. No, not a virgin at all. Tarzan has had many brides. Right. Right. Am I the first human being you've met? Yeah.

Absolutely. Very exciting. I like you a lot more. Excited to see how this whole, like, everything all works. Yeah, it's very different to what I'm used to. Right. You don't have a Korwaka, do you? I got good with those.

Okay, so Tarzan's fucked birds. Not only gorillas. Tarzan fucked a toucan? Yeah. So Tarzan is committing, I guess, gorilla crimes. Okay, well, he knew hezan fucked a toucan so Tarzan is committing I guess gorilla crimes okay well he knew

he was not a toucan so Tarzan I don't know if I could body this guy but you wouldn't know can you slide down vines yeah

well not now no it can be funny if I was to be a little baby and you get taught to do that. Yeah, it's great.

Yeah, probably. For sure. It's rigorous. You know, it's a rigorous, rough life, the gorilla life. Yeah. But, I mean, you're, you know, you sort of figure it out. Yeah. You climb around.

You know, they teach me what to do. It's very simple. Okay, cool. You climb on the mom's back and then I get a bit bigger. My proportions would be weird. Yes. As in for the gorillas. They would think you were a sick gorilla.

Your penis is on the outside. It's disturbing. They're just flicking it. What's going on? Get your penis flicked by a gorilla. Like nothing on earth. Would that be at risk of getting definitely torn off? Yes, dude.

Well then maybe I haven't fucked a gorilla and things are joyous for me. That's true! Because when they were like, what's this? Yank. What's this? Oh, it's really loose. Oh look, it's little lost baby Joe Simon, the unit gorilla boy. I'm like, yeah!

Instead of marrying Jane, you're put in the circus. My dick and nuts were torn off by my gorilla family. Yeah, they didn't know what it was. And you know what? I understand it. I've never had any hormones in my brain. I have no frame of reference for what my

penis was. That's crazy. But all I know is deep down in my soul that I did not fuck a gorilla. Yeah, exactly. Thank God. And you'll never fuck. Except because you might still want to fuck a gorilla. My testicles are gone. And your penis.

That's true. You can still eat out a gorilla. Oh, no. But the other gorillas might. I've definitely made out with the gorilla. Have I fingered a gorilla? Probably. I've gone to the equivalent of the cinema and tried to sneak a little bit of a...

Went to watch some elephants and you popped a gorilla titty or something. But would I have those same sort of hormonal lusts and everything if my dick and nuts got torn off? Probably not. But the other gorillas might expect you still.

I don't know, Mom. Dad, I'm not into gorillas. I don't feel that way about the gorillas. I'm fine just with who I am hanging out with other, you know... Gorillas seem like they would love giving and receiving rim jumps. Well, that's...

You might be... You might have had your arse all licked by a gorilla. Just to see if you like it. Huge, strong gorilla tongue. I guess they'd have to reciprocate. Yeah, that would be expected

in a social environment. Man, being a gorilla is not, not all this crap's up to me. No, I didn't think, I just thought it'd be nice to have no real,

like, responsibility. Oh, you got a lot of responsibilities to your gorilla girlfriend. Think about this, say your penis and balls don of responsibilities to your gorilla girlfriend. Think about this. Say your penis and balls don't get torn off. Yeah.

Okay, but Kerchak dies. Yeah. That means you become King Gorilla. Aww. That means every gorilla is your wife now. You're expected. And then, it's a really crazy... Say Jane doesn't arrive.

Yeah. You become King of the Gorillas. Yeah. Gorilla society expects you to make more baby gorillas. Yeah. You are a human being. You're gorillas. Can we make kind of like... more baby gorillas. You are a human being. Can we make kind of like you know when a lion makes sweet love

to a tiger and you get a liger? Can we get a human ape? Certain not reputable scientists believe so. A human or a human ape. But they can't have kids. That specific group of gorillas goes nowhere.

Those humapes go nowhere. The humapes. Unless they're discovered by scientists, then they're studied in a lab. That's the best you can hope for. You get a crown, the man who had sex with the most amount of gorillas. Really? Really? Society finding me is real bad for me. Get put in the Guinness Book of Records. This man fucked the most gorillas? Really? Society finding me is real bad for me.

Get put in the Guinness Book of Records? Yeah. This man fucked the most gorillas. That people are trying to beat it. But they can't.

They can't do it, dude. Nobody's ever been in the back. This is sort of the ideal position to fuck a hundred gorillas. Yeah, that's really easy.

A hundred different ones. Ignorance is truly bliss. I don't want to learn. I don't want to learn. I don't want to learn. I want the curse of Tarzan, I guess. And then I don't want Jane to come. When Clayton comes to the island, you want him to shoot you thinking you're some kind of monster. You never have to learn.

Or we just kill him. We kill Clayton and then no one comes and bothers us. It's crazy that that thing arrived. I don't give it any more ape thoughts because I am an ape. Yeah, smart. I will remain an ape. Maybe, hey, when Tarzan get discovered, a lobotomy is involved. No, it's pre-lobotomy.

It's kind of pre-lobotomy, yeah. You're going to get put on display in the circus. Don't think so, because I'm pretty sure Tarzan's like... It's like this... Oh, there's gunpowder. Lobotomies are like... 1930s? Later, I think.

I think they're like pushing the 60s. You might live long enough to get a lobotomy, but it'll be decades with memories of sweet guerrilla sex. Yeah, not a problem. I'm really hating this Was great and then I find out all this like I really okay I just got a hope that like some sort of Christian like like they don't find me God No, no, then I'm gonna be like introduced to a lot of shame. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they don't find me. God, no. No, no, no. Because then I'm going to be, like, introduced to a lot of shame real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A lot of Catholic guilt. Oh, God. So, yeah, I guess. Because you might, like, I mean, like, I don't know. But if you have only grown up with gorillas, you think you're just a fucked up gorilla. I do. I'm a fucked up gorilla with gorilla thoughts.

And you, like, these other gorillas are like, well, let's mate. Like, that's what happened. Yeah. And you're like, well, gorillas are like, well, let's mate. Like, that's what happened. Yeah. And you're like, well, I am horny. Yeah. I've got, even though they're human hormones, I need an outlet. Yeah, and I have no mirror, so I can't, unless I see my own reflection sometimes in the water.

You could get lucky, and you could just be involved in, like, group jack-off sessions. Gorillas do that sometimes. Yeah, that's true. Sit around, jerking off their, oh, wait, their dicks are on the inside. Oh, no, they pop out. They pop out. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, maybe he's hoping because I'm a freak. Yeah, true. No gorilla wants you. No girl wants you. They think you're sick. They think I'm disgusting. Yeah. They don't want to touch me.

They wouldn't fuck me with your gorilla dick. You know? It's fine. What if they feel bad for you and they she's all that you gorilla she's all that I push your dick back in yeah It's so funny to like the girls don't have sex with you and then you see Jane and you realize it all the first thing You say I didn't fuck any and then you see Jane and you realize it all

and the first thing you say, I didn't fuck any other gorillas. They tried. Me, Jane. Yeah, I didn't fuck a single gorilla while I was here. Oh, I'm Tarzan, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Huh? I just want to get that out there. I just want to let you know, me, this, no gorilla, no grossy ever touched this. The gorillas pushed the dick in straight away, so.

Fucked me up. Fucked me up. I know that's so many of them. Right. Anyway, how are you? What brings you here? Can I show you stuff from the jungle or whatever? What brings you here?

Um... nothing. Nothing actually. Is that my dad? Yeah, look at him go. See anything in the jungle, Jane? Nah. Not really. Nothing.

I'm like one ape, that's it? Dad, like, you know what? Fuck the island. Let's go home. Dad, did you bring like a flare or something? Just set fire to this island. I think so.

Terrible things happened on Gorilla Island. Yeah. Terrible, terrible, horrible things. Horrible things, yeah. And at least when I'm a toad, I have to benefit that I have a toad's body.

Yeah. So if I have sex with a toad, well, like morally, it's not great. It's offensive, but it's a lesser sin. And also, you're just rubbing wet patches. Yeah, exactly. It doesn't feel as intimate or something. It's not at all a lesser sin.

In the eyes of, I don don't know God and your own morals probably more of a sin because you knew you knew you had intent that is true I knew I was you went in with intent

and you're like this is exciting I get to fuck different now but also do toads even rub wet patches or is it just like a lady toad comes up to me and gestures to her eggs

yeah and then you walk over and cum on the eggs and then just have the best little gasm. Off you go. Being a toad's awesome. Yeah, you just walk around cumming on eggs.

Well, the toads, the babies that are half man toad, half toad, grow up different. Well, no, because you have the body of a toad. That's true. And therefore probably the cum of a toad. But it's magic. I'm a magic toad. That's true.

They might have maybe man thoughts. Oh, I've crammed. An army of man a toad. Yeah, but it's magic. I'm a magic toad. That's true. They might have maybe man thoughts. Oh, I've crammed. An army of man thought toads. But you also have the benefit that a toad has such a short lifespan. I would see what happens. You'll either die of natural causes in six years or get hit by a truck in three weeks.

Or a bird will take you. Or a bird will pick you up and then drop you. It'll be a bit hot. You're like, I might just lay in the sun for a bit. And then you dry it out. Fuck, I'm dry. Bro, I'm so dry right now. I'm fucking dry as shit.

I can't even fucking move. That's how dry I am. I'm stiff, man. I'll be like almost like a toad support group of other people that will also be in turn. Yeah. Make a little toad society, sure. Because you can make sweet love to them and I guess morally it's fine. Well, it won't feel so much of a crime. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. That's good science. Yeah. Make a little Toad Society, sure. Yeah, because you can make sweet love to them, and I guess morally it's fine. Well, it won't feel so much of a crime.

Yeah. Absolutely. That's good science. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, look, I'm going to take the owl. I'm going to take the owl. Yeah, take the owl.

I'm taking the owl. This is not good. I think being the Toad is the true winner here. Yeah, yeah. Genie is somewhere in the middle, because it could be good or it could be real bad. You could be a real 50-50. It's a genie. Yeah, yeah.

Well, Toad's mostly good. It's mostly good. It's all good all the way down. Toad's in real bad. It could be real 50-50. It's a genie. Where Toad's mostly good. It's mostly good. Where Toad could have went down. Toad's in real bad. Oh, yeah. So bad. And I think most ways that Toad goes are either quick or extremely exciting. Yes.

Like, picked up by a bird. Oh, you're flying, dude. The thrill of the, as you're rising into the air. Wasn't there a trend of, like, filling a Toad with air or something? Like, with a tyre pump thing? That doesn't sound so exactly... I mean, maybe if Shrek picks me up and fights me.

Yeah, in Cane Toad up north in Queensland. Anything goes. They do some terrible things to those Cane Toads because they are a pest. I gotta hope that doesn't happen to me. Like, yes, I'm a toad! I'm a Cane Toad! Oh, no! Oh, no! I'm up north! I'm a man! I'm a man! I'm a man toad I'm oh no oh no I'm up north I'm a man

I'm a man I'm a man you're up north they're like hey we're gonna put a firecracker in its clacker let's see how big it goes it was bad to become a toad

no it was good he's still kind of exciting and quick he's exciting and quick that's true that's true fire yeah firework in the clacker

those last moments dude yeah explosive yeah absolutely nobody else is doing it quite like we are That's true. That's true. Fire, yeah. Fire working the clacker. Those last moments, dude. Yeah. Explosive. Absolutely. Nobody else is doing it quite like we are. Yeah. The brightest flame.

Well. Yep. Look, curses, they're fine. Everyone needs to stop having to sook about them. Yeah. Unless your curse is to become Tarzan, in which case, yeah, it does. Yeah. It's no good. You just got to hope you never get found.

Yeah. If you live in ignorance, I mean, it's bad to an outsider. Ignorance is bliss. But not to Tarzan. To Tarzan, it's still good You just gotta hope You never get found If you live in ignorance I mean it's bad To an outsider But not to Tarzan To Tarzan It's still good Yeah Tarzan

Well he's king of the Tarzan He's got a hundred Gorilla brains He goes from being On top of the world Yeah dude it sucks To being the lowest of lows

Poor Tarzan Poor Tarzan That's so tragic Yeah Well on that note I've been Joel I've been Jackson I've been Jackson I've also been Joel

let us know which curse could you body yeah of the three yeah which one a lot of them

involve fucking animals yeah which was unexpected but not that unexpected yeah yeah that's good would you fuck a gorilla Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha.