Plumbing the Death Star - Which Fictional Animal Would Make the Best Starter Pokemon that isn't a Pokemon? (Ft. George Dimeralos)

Episode Date: April 22, 2018

In which our heroes are joined by good friend George Dimeralos to ask the hard hitting question; Which Fictional Animal Would Make the Best Starter Pokemon that isn't a Pokemon?Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail]: twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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cutesy standalone game that we recorded to help PSC support UK. It is the perfect jumping on point for new and old fans alike. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on iTunes or Acast. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions

like which fictional animal would make the best start a Pokemon that's not a Pokemon? Fictional animal? Do you mean fiction? What? Scooby-Doo. All right. He's clever.

Yep. He's quick. Yeah. He's quick? Sure. He's quick. Yeah. He's quick? Sure. He's good at biting. He's not slow. He's good at biting.

He's fictional. So that's a lot of categories that he ticks off. Yep. Correct. So this is a sequel to an episode that you guys... Well, for us in the studio, it was very fresh as we recorded it about 40 seconds ago. Dude, she just sprang on us. I thought he was recording an ad.

Anyway. I thought he was going to do a promo or like a nut and we're going for it, ladies and gentlemen. So, I know it. Oh, it's good friend George. Hey, George. Come on in. Do you want to be in an episode? George, hurry.

Quick. All right, quickly turn. Time's running out. Hey, everyone. So, George just turned up. George DeMorelis, friend of the show. Good friend of the show. All right. So, I'm going to repeat the

question again. We should probably turn your microphone on too. Okay, good to go. Do a quick mic check. This is in episode, by the way. This is the episode. It's happening right now, live. Alright, so I've already done the intro, but I'll ask you again.

Which fictional animal would make the best starter Pokemon that's not a Pokemon? Which fictional. Okay. Which fictional animal would make the best starter Pokemon that's not a Pokemon? Which fictional animal that's not a Pokemon would make the best starter Pokemon? Queen from Aliens. Oh! That's good.

That is good. Let's work our way through Scooby-Doo. So I just selected Scooby-Doo. You're always with the Scooby-Doo. No, no, that was me. That was you. Not even... He stole your thunder.

The trick with Scooby-Doo was... Okay, so... You know what? I don't need to explain it again You can listen to this episode I'm not, I've picked Scooby Doo I'm Joel Dusha from Plumbing the Death Star Professor Oak is like You can have all your animals

Pokemon, you've got your class of Scooby Doo Or your queen alien Or whatever we're picking Let's just pause for a sec Because Jackson fucked up. Wait. You guys are still picking yours? I was under the pump there. We only started like less than 30 seconds

ago. When did I get time to pick then? Mine isn't humorous. I was just asking you the question. I was filling you in. Getting you up to speed. Fair enough. Scooby-Doo. Alright. Sure. I was filling you in, getting you up to speed Fair enough Scooby-Doo Alright, sure General athleticism

General athleticism of Scooby-Doo He's kind of a fat shit He's quick as shit He's a great Dane He's huge A great Dane could eat most You know what, I'm going to get The starting Pokemon.

Just your basic, like, these are the people you encounter. The size chart. The Pokemon you encounter, you know, like, straight out the gate. Like Caterpie. Caterpie. So we're not talking about just Squirtle. Oh, no, we up the game. We'll get to them.

We'll get to them. All right. We'll start on the ones in the bushes after the start of Pokemon. Exactly. That makes sense. You've left Paladin. It's not who you think of. George, this is a sequel to an episode we just bushes after the start of the program. Exactly. That makes sense. You've left Paladin. That's who you think of. George, this is a sequel to an episode we just recorded

before you walked into the house, so you've got to keep up. Okay, right. So can Scooby-Doo defeat a Caterpie, which is ostensibly just a caterpillar? I think it's roughly pretty small as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scooby would eat one and not even realise. Like, I'm pretty sure I've seen a dog that'd be smaller than Scooby eat eat one and not even realise I'm pretty sure I've seen

a dog that would be smaller than Scooby eat a pigeon that is a very unpleasant thought but relevant so yes easy what about a metapod delicious to be honest

he looks like crunchy catapult it looks like food a metapod does I would probably eat a metapod a metapod looks like it's ready to die too

a metapod looks like as you're eating it it's thanking god you know what I mean as you're crunching through it it hopes to take it hopes you take

your time though yeah exactly it's like I deserve pain well you know how you want it the metapod might not know what's coming up so that's you It hopes you take your time, though. Yeah, exactly. It's like, I deserve pain. Well, you know how you want it. The menopause might not know what's coming up. It's like life has gotten significantly worse and there is no hope of this getting better.

A menopause cannot run away. That's very funny. It just gets eaten and died. All it can do is tense. Seriously, though, I think it's because it's kind of dumpling shaped, but also I can imagine it having the consistency of an apple. Yeah, yeah, me too. Well, kind of like a custard apple, almost.

Yeah, yeah. Because you know how, like, you know how you always want to eat a caterpillar in its... What do they call it? A cocoon? Cocoon, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone always wants to do that? No, I... Because you know how, like, a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, and it a butterfly and it becomes a goo first?

I always think drinking that goo would be the ultimate power move because you're drinking the essence of change. I think that might give me powers. Welcome to the episode again, George. I'm just trying to think of more powerful examples of that. We're going to be honest, your basis for power moves is eating a caterpillar that's turned into goo. At least like a lion's placenta or something.

Or like eating a teen, you know what I mean? A teen just in general. Whilst it's alive. They're in that period of change. Eat a boy as his voice breaks. Yeah, the second he's... He'd just eat his voice box. Oh!

Oh! Alright, so next. His voice dropped and then it went to a high-pitched scream. That was wildly unpleasant to hear. A Weedle looks quite poisonous. Yeah. I feel like. Definitely not the same, yeah. I feel that Scooby-Doo

is going to eat that and then I've got to take it to the vet because his cheeks have imploded. Roll! Can I read this reedle? No, Scooby. Rye! It's poison, Scooby. Rot, roll, ride. We're already raided.

I'm ridding rod. Let's go to the vet, Scooby. Back to the Pokemon Center. Okay, well, what about the Kakuna? Which is just like poison. Yeah, the Weedle series is all very poisonous. I feel like that's going to be the same thing. Kakuna looks like someone who's waiting to bust a move.

Look at that. He knows what's coming. He knows he's going to be turning. He's not thanking God. He's waiting to get his revenge. My favorite thing about a Kakuna, I mean, yeah, Kakuna is that he looks like he's got a tie on. He does.

You know, he's ready for a meeting. That's great. I feel like, though, Scooby could beat a Kakuna. Well, yeah. Because he could just be like, scratch it, and then he scratches it and it just spits out goo. It's going to be poisonous. He's going to be trying to eat it.

I'm going to try to, like, rip it off him like a football, be like, give it back, Scoobs. And tear it in half And now I'm getting poison all over my hands God, you've got to go to the fountain and wash your hands What about a Pidgey? You've already established that one If a dog can eat a pigeon, forget it, don't even worry

Rat-a-tat, rat-a-ta, sorry If a dog can eat a pigeon, a dog can eat a rat Yeah, a dog can eat a rat Rat-a-ta always looks so angry He's like, hey! I love how Duck eat a bitch and duck eat a rat. Yeah, duck and eat a rat. Ratatouille always looks so angry. He's like, hey! That's good. I love how, like,

an audio-based format and you guys are like, let's just talk about all the images that we've got in front of our faces right now. People can look up a fucking ratatouille. And look, and I think we'll end it with Ekins, the snake. Because that's,

once you pass that, you're out of the, you're this little guy. I've forgotten about Ekins completely. Ekins forgettable forget made famous by being owned by james from team rocket and being snake backwards yeah and being snake backwards i feel that's gonna be pretty bad for old mate scoops yeah i know like i feel like that is an issue dogs getting yeah dogs getting bit especially like in australia doesn't always happen but like you know scooby is self-aware enough to know that snakes are bad, though.

He'd probably avoid it. But if he was in a fight with it, he could bite its head off. Well, well... Scooby and a mongoose. Has Scoob done anything impressive ever? Have you seen the fucking sandwiches he eats? And how fast he runs? Is he running fast or is it just lots of smoke coming up

as he's running off? Because I was thinking about the misadventures of the Scooby gang. Are they ever in real danger apart from mild befuddlement? My favourite thing in any Scooby episode is when they come face to face with the villain and the villain's like,

ooh, and they run. Because I'm always like, what if they just didn't run? That villain is like, guess I've got to kill him now. Well, that's bad. Yeah, that's bad. It just never happens though. Yeah, what if they just didn't rot? That villain is like, I guess I've got to kill them now. Well, that's bad. Yeah, that's bad. It just never happens though. Yeah, well, they always rot.

Yeah, actually, I was thinking about it. Although, first, my Pokemon knowledge is going to probably end here, but first gym, rocks. Onix is just lots of rocks and a mouth. Exactly, I've got to be honest, it's a tough one to beat. And a Geodude is just lots of rocks and a mouth Exactly I'm going to be honest It's a tough one to beat

And a Geodude is just a rock And I feel Scooby is going to try and bite it And break his tooth Scooby-Doo is just meat and bones Having said that I'm sure there's an episode where Scooby-Doo eats rocks Yeah I doubt it And digests them thoroughly

Well I'm just more worried Is he going to say anything in the laws of physics, Scooby? Or would he be able to eat an Onyx regardless of the size? I think the problem is though that I'm pretty sure Onyx has rock throw, so I think Scooby-Doo's just getting brainsed. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah. That's very sad

when your dog dies and Brock, the gym leader, is like, is that just a dog? You're like, yeah, it was a dog. Well, he could talk before you killed it. Scooby, talk to me now. But having said that, if Scooby can beat a Caterpie, and a Caterpie could probably possibly be leveled up enough

to beat one of the rock guys in the first gym, then logic dictates that Scooby could possibly beat if you get Scooby you get what I'm saying there what does Scooby evolve into they're very low level or does Scooby start as Scrappy Doo Godly Doo

Scrappy Doo, Scooby Doo Godly Doo It's like It's like He ends up looking like The fucking Fluffy From Harry Potter Yeah

Three headed Cerebus Cerebus Yeah I guess Cerebus is like Your evolved Scoob Yeah absolutely That's Cerebus

Godly Doo It has like wings Or some shit as well Yeah it's fire It breathes fire What kind of rock Scooby Doo I don't want to be normal But I reckon once he becomes Godly Doo do? It has like wings or some shit as well? Yeah, it breathes fire. What type of Scooby-Doo? Normal, but I reckon once he becomes godly-do, either normal

dark or normal fire. Which is scary for godly-do because that makes it sound like he's a god from hell. It might be his normal dragon or something. I'm just the person who's Greek here. I reckon it's actually Cerberus

oh Cerberus not normally saying Cerberus Cerberus Cerberus terrible Cerberus just throwing that in there

is it geese or grease I've always been confused about that one it's a leather I just thought I'd confirm that while we had an expert in the room yes yes that's right

so I think Scooby Doo if you can get onyx in a sandwich Scooby can eat it that's right. So I think Scooby-Doo, if you can get Onyx in a sandwich, Scooby can eat it. That's possible, yeah. That's one of Scoob's basic moves. In a sandwich.

Yeah. It's like, put in a sandwich, then you follow up as eat. Yeah, absolutely. So his whole is like in a sandwich. It's kind of like

the whole hypnosis dream eater. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's get him in a sandwich, eat the sandwich. So there's a chance Scooby could win. Scooby's doing alright. Yeah. I feel so, yeah. I mean in a sandwich, eat the sandwich. So there's a chance Scooby could win. Scooby's doing all right. Yeah.

I feel so, yeah. I mean, Scooby's doing all right until anyone literally thinks of anything else. Yeah. I don't know anymore. Because he's not bound by the laws of physics like anything else. Well, when you hit a fire gym or a water gym or anything like that, like drowning a dog, not hard. Yeah.

Pretty easy come to think of it. But bad for the gym members' brand, to be honest. Absolutely. Misty Like drowning a dog. Not hard. Pretty easy come to think of it. But bad for the gym members brand. Misty drowns a dog. Everyone is just holding a dog underwater while they cry. It wasn't even a Pokemon. It's just a guy's great day and it can talk a bit. Also I feel like any

injury that Scoob is taking it's gonna be bad. And I don't think you can take Scoob to a poker center. I feel like it's like ding ding bad. And I don't think you can take Scoob to a... Poker centre? Poker centre. I feel like it's like, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, your dog is still very sick. This is just a dog. We're going to have to amputate.

Yeah, we're going to have to... By the third gym, Scooby has four legs. Three legs, sorry. Or put down. Yeah. He has arrived. But if he gets to Godly, dude, he's sweet. Yeah, he's going to survive.

But it's a risk. It's a risk because, you know, what if one of the gym owners uses this put down? Yeah, exactly. Oh, no, not put down. That's a one-hit KO. It's a one-hit KO. Most poison types have that.

Scooby wants to be ruthenized. No! Scoob, please. A Pokemon asking you to euthanize them is upsetting enough. But when it's a talking dog, that makes it a bit worse. It's a cute way of saying it, Dave. It is. It's an euthanized dog.

Euthanized. All right. Scoops. So I think Scooby makes it as far as Misty. I reckon it depends because the Great Danes are big and dogs can swim. It depends on... Dogs can swim I guess Alright let's get the gym leaders

Go all the way Brock, Misty What's the third gym I'm pretty sure Scoob is eating shit at a stye No because he can eat A dog can eat sea But it's not just a sea animal It's basic gems.

If he's having trouble with rocks, a ruby's harder. So, okay. Yeah, star you, star me. Okay. Vermilion City, he dies. Lieutenant Surge, Voltorb, Pikachu, Raichu. Scooby-Doo gets electrocuted and dies. It's the fucking Edison thing again.

Yeah, exactly. Hey, aren't you that gym leader that just killed that dog with the electric plate? Yep. That's me. It was a misunderstanding. I thought it was a new type of Pokemon. Yeah. It was just some fella's dog. It was a man who just, like, I thought

he threw a Pokeball, but he just threw a dog. Yeah. Now that I think about it I feel pretty bad About the whole thing Yeah That's me That's on me Alright

So Scooby-Doo Dies at Lieutenant Surge Electrocuted By a Voltorb Okay The Queen Alien Are you sticking with that? Because I imagine

It would probably start As like I guess it would The Queen It would be Facehugger Xenomorph So it's actually, slots in very nice into the Pokemon universe.

It really does. Face hugger, okay, versus a geodude or an onyx. Yeah, laughing. Easy. Because no matter what you're made of,

it's bursting out of you, right? Exactly. Also, you know what all these Pokemon have, Jack? What? A mouth.

Yeah, but, but, but, hold up. Wait, what about Diglett? Diglett's just got a nose.

I think that's a mouth actually I think that was a big twist Yeah Maybe it's mouth It's got a tooth or some shit I think that's a myth But maybe Yeah because I'm pretty sure

You see him in the anime And he's just got a big nose Well what I was going to say You know Zaman You watch heaps of anime You love the anime Yeah So

With a face hugger We think that it can get out of anything But a geodude and an onyx Are made of rock. Yeah. It's just trapped on the inside. Doesn't it take on the capabilities of the... That's what I was about to say.

It takes on the capabilities of whatever it's ingesting, or whatever it kind of facehugs to. So if it facehugs a dog, it becomes a bit more like a dog-like thing. You've got a rock alien. Same with, like, I used to have a toy of an alien. It was, like, an alien gorilla. Yeah. The thing had, like, facehugged a gorilla.

So the same thing. You basically get thing had like face hugged a gorilla. So the same thing. You basically get a xenomorph that was a bit rocky. Yeah, but can a rock burst out of rock? Well, yeah. Because that's the point. It's taken on its capability. But in Pokemon, acid... Rock is strong against acid and rock is also strong against rock, basically.

I mean, like, sorry, not very effective. Not very effective, yeah. So acid's not very effective on rock and rock is not very effective on rock. But also it's going to be hammering. They still need to breathe. Still got to breathe. Here's another question for you. Geodude is just a head.

Where's his stomach? Probably the back of his throat. Maybe you burst out the back of the head. Yeah, easy. It's really graphic, that one, actually. I'm pretty sure every single one of these Pokemon hasn't a noose. So we kind of at least poked Pokemon hasn't a noose. Yeah.

So we kind of at least poked out of that at least, yeah? Yeah. Are you saying they all have a noose? Yeah. I don't know if that's true. Where's Geodude's noose? Well, he's got a mouth, so he's clearly eating and shitting somewhere. Can everyone please tweet at GoddammitZammit where Geodude's arsehole is?

I'm pretty sure underneath he's like... Cock. You know, where you can't quite see. Yeah, gross. I'm pretty sure underneath he's like cock yeah gross he's like rocky cock is just flopping there and then it's just his noose is behind that

I guess and in between he's got his like you know his rocky perineum yeah that's a gooch for those playing it

isn't it is there a word for gooch goochos good Is there a Greek word for gooch? Yes. Goochos. Good. What were you going to ask? I forgot.

Oh, yes. What is it when your mouth and ass are the same thing? Cloaca. What? Mouth and ass? Wait, hang on. That's right. Goddamn Italian. Am I right?

Oh, yeah. That was silly I was actually asking that genuinely Then I thought of that bit So yeah what is it Is it a thing What thing is that It's like a sea I'm sure there's like Yeah does like a starfish have that

Yeah or something How it's mouth and nose is the same thing? Or an octopus, maybe? Maybe it's a geodude like that. Its mouth is also its arsehole. That's not what a geodude is. Its tongue is its cock. Oh, no.

No. Something might like that, to be honest. That was very genuine. That was very, very, very good. Okay, second problem. Onyx is a head and then just rocks. There's no inside. Yeah.

That's problematic if you're a facehug. Doesn't even have a mouth. Yeah. So what's that just a nothing? What's it going into? There's no coming out of it. There's got to be a gut or something like that. You can't see what comes out of a snake.

What if Onyx and Geodude, as they are just rocks, are also just, like, photosynthesized? Yeah. Rocks don't do that. That's plants. No. Rocks don't grow. In real life, Joel Zammett, rocks also don't have faces and aren't alive.

Exactly. Maybe that has nothing to do with rock. What if they have rocket ship fuel and they fly through the sky? Joel, this is a mad assumption that rocks purpose is to kill the sun. He just chose one thing that they don't do that they now do for some reason. Because my thought was that they probably don't eat, but they're going to need some kind of nutrition because they're alive. Then why do they have a mouth?

To say their name. To bite? I don't know. Look. Both are moves They do The Facehugger loses By Cerulean City

Because a star you And a star me Have no orifices Oh they have an orifice Where You just can't see it That was a confident No no no no

Wait wait Like a starfish On the other side So at this point We're past Facehugger Yeah Oh you reckon by gym too You've evolved

Well that's all gone on Because you've smashed The face of the Geodoodle the onyx hang on burst out actually what's the first thing you fight when you hit on your head out oh a catapult a catapult your facehugging a catapult yeah you're bursting out you've got a xenomorph catapult it's an adorable little 30 centimeter queen alien it's basically this adorable little xenomorph that's a bit like a bug. No, no, but wait. Yeah? What about Professor Oak?

Oh. Oh my. Yes. Yes. All right. I've got a new Pokemon for you. We've got Scooby Doo Or it's Facehugger

Oh my god Hey Facehugger use Facehug No He's become the evolution It's his ultimate death Why am I like this Alright so you've actually just got a Xenomorph You've got a Xenomorph now yeah okay

But that means you've got a man Xenomorph fighting rocks. Yeah, that's going to be hard. Your best bet is to somehow get through. But wait, so acid no good on rock, even though we've established that acid can melt through, what, any surface in the alien universe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So which universe is bringing the physics to this?

Scooby-Doo can eat him in a sandwich, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. That's a good fan point. I reckon it's going to do a lot of damage. It's just not going to be very effective, but it's going to be a lot of damage. Yeah, yeah.

It might melt the gym. That's destruction. That's chaos that you're taking. The only thing, though, is, provided we're using the Pokemon rules of one turn at a time, spread an acid, it starts to melt. It then tackles you. You've got acid on you.

Yeah, but that doesn't... Oh, yeah, they're vulnerable to that, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. No, are they? Because it's on their inside. You would think, no. When you rip them apart. Yeah, no, they're fine.

It's inside them. How could they... I'm just trying to remember. I'm just trying to remember, because I know... There's one where they fight each other to die so they can break through but that doesn't

in the Joss Whedon written one okay they um yeah they attack in the Joss Whethon there's three of them

Joss Whethon yeah there's three of them and they kill one to escape and yeah they don't get acid so I think they're immune to their own acid

which makes sense it's inside them imagine blood burned us stomach acid burns us it's always hot Yeah, they don't get acid. So I think they're immune to their own acid. Which makes sense. It's inside them. Imagine blood burned us. Stomach acid burns us. It's always hot. I just killed George. His own stomach acid. He even came away with his own stomach acid

and his stomach just gave up. Yeah. So when I cough, that's why it hurts when I vomit. Yes. Not that I and also well and like it's diluted but it's like

say you get like shot in the stomach and the acid comes out it burns you it's fucked that's why don't get shot in the stomach

is my recommendation if you're gonna get shot anywhere go for the arm or head get it over and done with not the kneecap or the belly

what about earlobe oh that's a cool piercing. Yeah. If it's a little bullet. Yeah. Put a ring in. Dangerous game you're playing because slight miscalculation, you're getting maximum damage.

Remember that space between your heart and your stomach. Tisha uses a gun. It's very effective. Yes. All right. So Geodude Onyx We got Yep

Okay Starmie Staryu You got I think Look Facehugger You probably They do have an orifice At the back I'm pretty sure

If they're a starfish Yeah Or unless they're a sentient gem Then I don't know I think they're meant To be a starfish But I'm pretty sure An alien could

Like a xenomorph Could just tear one Limb from limb You know You you get fucked at Vermillion City as well if you're a facehugger. Wait, wait. Voltorb done that. Mouth? He's just a ball. Yeah, but at this point, we're a queen. Oh, fuck.

I guess you've massacred so many Pokemon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Voltorb, what normally kills the queen xenomorph? Flying off into space. Yeah, yeah. Not many Pokemon do that. Is it vulnerable to electricity? Fire?

A Voltorb could be an issue because, like, if the queen eats it, Voltorb can self-destruct. Yeah, that's true. Voltorb can make a valiant sacrifice and blow up the queen from the inside. But that's a movement it has anyway, so it clearly doesn't care.

It wants to die. Yeah, no. This city's a real brick wall in this, isn't it? Yeah, I know. Who's going to get past? But I think if you're the queen, you've just got to kill Vault Orb first. Yeah. But you will get Shadon by Cinnabar Island, which is Jim Sever, but that's fire.

That's pretty solid. Fucking grass, whatever. You can kill a fucking Tangela Fuchsia City, poison, muck I could kill a muck No, the acid might be an issue there Because acid, it might be Ineffective against

Is it like the alien Taking like an antacid Yeah, exactly Half burn's gone I'm not angry anymore. No, it could be. I mean, like, as in, like... What if you did give, like...

Hang on, what if you give, like, a xenomorph, like, an antacid? What if you did give him, like, a quickies? Would that fuck up his blood? Like, you injected a quickies into his bloodstream. What happens if I put an antacid in a lemon? Bad? Nothing. Like, if you're making, like, an acid more alkaline?

I don't know. I just don't know. You're trying to balance... The queen's really dead at the poker center. acid more alkaline i don't know that's i just don't know you're trying to balance the queen can't have its ph levels neutralized yeah yeah yeah which it might have happened by mark or coughing or wheezing well it might happen by his gym too they've got pools there they're probably trying to keep the ph levels even that's a good point they just start throwing like fucking chlorine on it going into the wrong pool yeah Your queen might be in trouble And like the main reason I think you can't get the queen

At the poker centre is it's too big Yeah They're like it's designed for six pokeballs It's giant queen I think of like ways you can kill a xenomorph queen I think fire Because they always use a flamethrower to take it out So I think the moment an on fire horse

I.e. rapidash or ponytar Uses flamethrower to take it out. So I think the moment an on-fire horse, i.e. Rapidash or Ponyta... Uses flamethrower. That's a dead queen. Or Arcanine or Growlithe. Are you looking up the ways to kill a xenomorph queen? Yeah, I am looking up ways to kill a xenomorph. I mean, you can chuck her into space. Can any of the Pokemon hurl good?

Well, okay, so Saffron City, Gym 6, is psychic Pokemon. Yeah, that's... Mr. Mime. Mr. Mime killing a fucking queen Mr. Mime's killing a fucking That's gonna fuck everyone up. is great. I feel like that so, honestly, the starter Pokemon to beat all of these people needs

to be immune to electricity and fire, but also very strong-willed. Yeah, exactly. The beauty of the queen, right, is that she lays eggs and has more facehuggers. So her move is facehugger. Yeah, that's true. So she could be facehugging everyone she's fighting,

and then we get a whole bunch of xenomorphs. Yeah, but. That's true, yeah. It's growing an army. But that's just like dittos. You know, it just changes into the thing. Yeah, but that's one ditto. Or actually, you might be in trouble if a ditto turns into the queen.

Ooh. Oh, that's true, because a queen kills a queen. You're weak to dittos. Okay. None of the gym leaders use a ditto, though. It's like being weak to a freaking goldie, whatever it's called. What's the goldfish called again? Goldfish?

No, no, no. Magikarp? Yeah, Magikarp. That's the one. Yeah. I played the shit out of these games. I've forgotten some of the names now. I'm a bit embarrassed. Yeah, you should be. I've probably forgotten Magikarp. I's the one I've played the shit out of these games I've forgotten some of the names now, I'm a bit embarrassed

Yeah, you should be I reckon Gyarados How do you pronounce that? I like Gyarados Yeah, I'm just trying to Gyarados? People think that Nintendo was based in Japan No, no, no, Greek

So, I say By future city with poison. Yeah. You're done. Okay. I will accept that. I say, Blinky Bill. Little koala man.

Fights with a stick. He's got a bindle. Wears overalls. You know, he's crafty. I'm so joking. Each one of these looks pretty, you say, and that's how he'll win this, but you're just describing his attire. I just think he's a resourceful guy. Yeah, yeah. Each one of these looks We need to say And that's how he'll win this But you're just describing His His attire

I just think he's a resourceful guy Yeah yeah And he's also the only one That's like Sentient That's kind of like having a human Fight any of these guys Alright what

I mean For all of those International listeners Look it up Blinky Bill It's just a koala With overalls Yep

And that's all yeah And a bindle And a bindle And a lot of good friends And Alright Ah yep That is important Okay so Geodude He's probably going to use The fighting alone overalls. Yep. And that's all, yeah. And a bindle. And a bindle. And a lot of good fronts. And, alright. Ah, yep, that is important. Okay, so Geodude. He's probably gonna use the fighting alone, so.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, look, I mean, koalas are notoriously lazy pieces of shit. Yes. And stoned out of their mind 24-7. Uh-huh. Or maybe 23-7. Yeah. So, I feel a cat, okay, Caterpie is eating him. Yeah.

Metapod is eating him. It's like the diet of a... You might actually struggle to get him through the forest because he's just got so much food. Metapod looks kind of like a eucalyptus leaf. Yeah, it does. So I think he's just chomping out on Metapod. Hang on, hang on. Can I change it? Can I change it? Can I change it?

Just let me change it. Goofy. he's an adult man goofy's like you know he's got a job yeah what's gonna happen when an adult man comes across a giant rock snake yeah adult man is dying can goofy have a gun i mean does he have a bad weapon against the rock snake yeah goofy never has a gun does he oh no bad weapon against a rock snake yeah Goofy never has a gun does he oh no and like Blinky Bill you could use leaves which are super effective against

rocks but instead you went for a gun so look you changed your choice Blinky Bill would have at least made it to the third gym Goofy's not making it past the first one I'm amazed you think Blinky Bill could fight a Geodude or an artist just hit it with like leaves until it dies. Yeah, that's true. Quarrelers aren't quite mean

when they get angry. Yeah, they're vicious. So you starve him of eucalyptus. You give him a stick with leaves on it. You give him a stick with leaves on it. Because then he's going to be withdrawing hard. He's going to be jonesing. He'll be fucking gracious. So like a feral Blinky Bill. Yeah.

Blinky Bill after a couple of drinks. Yeah. On the rum. On the spice rum.eral Blinky Bill Yeah Blinky Bill after a couple of drinks On the rum Go Blinky Bill on the rum So does he start Blinky Bill Blinky Bill is the first one And then he goes Blinky Bill on the pierce And then feral Blinky Bill

Is the final evolution Well then he starts It's just regular Blinky Bill But I guess after a bit. Well, then he starts as just regular Blinky Bill, but I guess after a bit fighting in the Viridian Forest or whatever the fuck, we got Blinky Bill on the pierce. Yeah. Blinky Bill on the pierce. Especially because he's been sucking on the eucalyptus there,

hasn't he? Yeah. Geodudonics we take out with some leaves. Yeah. Star you, star me. What do we think? Still grass against water. Is that good?

Yeah. Yeah, grass against water is good. Plus? Yeah. Well, there you go. Grass against water is good. Plus, I feel like I've seen a koala eat a starfish before. How? Where and when? Like, I'm just going to call bull. I'm happy to swallow some of your bullshit, but no.

What? When? How? When is a koala near an ocean enough to be foraging for starfish? You've been two notoriously very not nimble creatures. I mean, look, a starfish ain't going to be putting up much of a fight, I can imagine. But I feel like the ocean is like the natural predator of a koala. You know?

I feel once the koala falls in the ocean, the ocean gets it. I don't think koalas can swim. Koala, not a heavy swimmer. You know? Can a koala eat a fish? No. No. No.

No. They're herbivores. They are herbivores, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah. But look, he's a blinky bill on the pierce. So he's loose. He doesn't know what's going on He'll eat a starfish if that's what it comes to

I don't know if he'll eat it, but he might smack it with his bindle Yeah, and if grass is good against water And look, if he's on the rum I think he might have sharpened that bindle Exactly, so he's shanking the starfish And I'm pretty sure that starfish Aren't immune to a shanking Yeah, so Vermilion City, Farrell Blinky

Bell, electricity. That's a fried koala. You know that happens all the time in Australia because a koala falls out of a tree onto like electric power lines. Or climbs a power line because it thinks it's a tree. And tries to eat the power lines

because they think it's eucalyptus. If we can get me through Vermilion City, I have Celadon City because it's grass. Can't get a positive. What if you get lost and you skip the third gym? Yeah, all right. That seems like something I'd do.

So he eats Yodish, he eats the gloom, he eats the Vioploon. Yeah, absolutely. And I don't know if this is relevant, but I did learn this recently. Koalas have three vaginas. Oh.

How did you learn that? How do you think I learned that? By reading a book. Now, someone told me it. I was commenting on something else, and they said, yeah, you know, wombats are all Australian animals. All my super- Three vaginas.

Every Australian. Yeah, every Australian. Does that mean we have three dicks? Yes. They actually have two- pronged penises Oh Like a snake's tongue Yeah it's like a snake's tongue

Once more again At least it's native animals this time And we're not doing anything What pronged penises Are we back at that It's just animal fucking Comes up a lot It's animal junk

And another one Which I thought was interesting Yeah Yeah yeah go for it Which you guys Know this already But a lot of animals Have male animals

Have hooks on their penises Yeah yeah yeah That's kind of why Our knobs shaped the way it is To be a bit like a shovel It was getting there Yeah yeah Now theirs is hooked

So that the person Can't get away Oh Yeah like a fox Yeah it's much darker than that. It's like a cat with barbs. Yeah, apparently. There's a lot of hooks in their businesses.

You ever seen those foxes fucking and the dude fox is getting dragged along with the lady fox? That might work in the animal kingdom. I remember the situation where the guy's like, oh, shit, this is crazy. I've got to get out of here. And they're like, oh, no. I'm stuck. We're jammed together. Fuck.

This is true love. Fuchsia City. Poison. Koalas eat poison all the time. They do. Bl're jammed together. This is true love. Fuchsia City. Poison. Koalas eat poison all the time. Blinky Bill's fine. That's true. Okay. Blinky Bill and me.

Why did we let him get past? He got lost and I'll allow it. I skipped it intentionally because I knew I'd lose. I fashioned my own fake badge to get into all the other places Saffron City, psychics dead oh, oh, oh

a koala too cooked for psychic they're gonna be like I'm gonna try and get into your mind they're gonna get cooked he's like, croaky croaky I don't remember how Blinky Bill sounded and they're just going to like, they're going to get cooked. Yeah, and I have this feeling. He's like, Crikey. Crikey.

I don't remember how Blinky Bill sounded. Oh, it's me, Blinky Bill. Good day, it's Blinky Bill. That's it. That's how it is. Good day, it's Blinky Bill. Think of like John Howard. No, that was just an European doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was like an Eastern European doing it. Australian accent. Good day, it's Blinky Bill. Good day, everybody. Blinky Bill. Look at me, I am koala. Boinky, boinky, boinky, boinky. Hey, Good day. That's a boinkie bill. Good day, everybody. Look at me. I am koala. Boinkie, boinkie, boinkie, boinkie. Hey, good day.

So after I eat the psychics, one of which is a moth, by the way. Delicious. Now I get to Cinnabar Island and fire. And we all know that- Koalas do not feel well in bushfires. They are a flammable beast. There was a wonderful photo that went around a few years ago of a fireman

giving a koala a drink of water after it got dunked by a bushfire. So I feel bushfires not great for a koala. It's because they soak up all the eucalyptus. Yeah, and apparently they explode. Really? I learned this recently. I think it was from Handsome Tom.

Maybe you shut up a second? Yeah, I think it was. Apparently because all the eucalyptus they eat Eucalyptus is very flammable So when they eat a lot of it And the bushfires come along they pop Fuck yeah There you go So I guess I do well Until I get to Cinnabar Island

And the eucalyptus explodes And then Blaine the gym leader is like, this fucking electric city gym leader, this is fake. He shouldn't have gone this far and I myself am sent to jail. Yeah. Well, ideally I wanted a bear

because I like bears. And, well, we've got one or two options. We have one which is like, I feel a stronger choice, which is the big polar bear from His Dark Materials. Okay. What? You know, Eric Bernstein.

Yeah, but it's not a, it looks like a polar bear, but it's like a person. It's got armor on. That guy, he's a big, tough polar bear, and I think he'd do really well. So that's a smart choice. Yeah. So instead, Winnie the Pooh.

Dead by rocks. Winnie the Pooh. Dead by rocks. Winnie the Pooh is not doing great. He's so bumbly. I think he might misdemean his way through a lot of situations. I think he'll struggle to get through the first forest. He might get lost. You'll get just stuck eating all the goo out of the cocoon.

He'll eat the goo out of the cocoon and be poisoned and die. I just imagine you being like Winnie do you want to come on an adventure and he's like maybe we'll stay for a smackerel of honey

and he'll just stay at your house not leave and then also Winnie the Pooh has on countless occasions gotten his head

stuck in a jar this is not the kind of fighting machine and then you've also got Pidgeys in the first area, and I can't imagine a bird would peck Winnie the Pooh's eyes out easy. Yeah, Winnie the Pooh is running, screaming, holding his head,

like hands above his head, being like, oh, no. Oh, my. Leave me alone. He's running, yeah. He's little. They could probably just pick him up and drop him. He's made of fluff. Oh, no.

So, like, he's not actually physically, like, he's not flesh and blood. He's a toy. He's a toy, yeah. Which means he's made of fluff. You know what? What? He's not actually physically... He's not flesh and blood. He's a toy. He's a toy, yeah. But that means... He's made of fluff. You know what? What? He's fine. You get to the third gym,

they try to electrocute him. He's fine. He's grounded. That's true. So Geodude and Onyx, squished. But he can't be squished because he doesn't... But he can be torn by rocks.

This is like, oh, this is just a big hug. He can be torn by rocks. This is just a is just a big hug He can be torn by rocks And then again wet fabric He'll just sink to the bottom of the pool Yeah yeah look water and rock But if you pull a Jackson And just thank your badges and go to Vermillion City Electrocuted and fine

I mean he has no offensive capabilities He's just got hugs Lots and lots of hugs Which can be powerful too Love is powerful guys So let's see you get through that Can he fight Gross? Yes

Break your phone That's probably the one he's got the best chance against At least he eats honey Sorry that pause was Joel Zama dropping and breaking his phone Oh you fucked that real bad. Was it anything like that before? No. What? Just then. Just destroyed it. I've dropped

this on tiles. I have dropped this on cement, but apparently... You need to take a picture of that and post that and let people see that. My desk... I mean, you could have got the carpet phone, but you didn't. I'm alright for a second. I'll just take it. That is hilarious. Yeah.

So, Victory Bell Vileplume Tangler. Excuse me. Take that from me. Like, he just sold it through. So, Victory Bell Vileplume Tangler. These cunts. How's Winnie the Pooh faring? I mean, he might get eaten.

Yeah. Vileplume is based off that meat-eating plant from the Amazon. So, like... The Venus flytrap. Yeah. Plus, look, even if you get through all of these ones, like everyone else, the moment you get to Cinnabar Island,

you catch fire and die. And he's very flammable, yeah, yeah. Why have we chosen flammable heroes, guys? Like, especially Winnie the Pooh. Most people are flammable. We've chosen this moment of... Most people are flammable. Most people are flammable. Most things are flammable.

People give enough fire. I mean, what animal isn't? Good question. I feel like there's got to be an animal that is made of rocks or something. Like a salamander. Yeah. I'm thinking more. I think I get it.

Oh, actually. We need something which is just renowned for getting out of scrapes. Yeah. Like the Roadrunner. Yeah. A perfect one. Roadrunner would be a good one. Oh, Roadrunner perfect one roadrunner be a good one oh roadrunner let's explore roadrunner let's explore roadrunner yeah speedy that's good he's gonna like run past every single could be an issue because again no offensive capabilities against rocks yeah but the classic

roadhunter is everyone is hoisted by their own exactly and you know what roadrunner is everyone is hoisted by their own. Exactly. And you know what Roadrunner is really good at? Making himself look delicious. Yeah. So everyone is just going to try and eat him, and then he's going to just do something, and they're going to get done. See, I think if we can get past the first gym, that will work. But then again, as Starmie and Staryu, they're not really sentient.

Yeah, that's true. They are just like alive gems. Yeah. Yeah? You might. I mean, we say they're starfish, but I just think they're an alive gem. Absolutely. It's grown some limbs.

And then plus the psychic gems would fuck him, because then... No, still, you keep forgetting. The laws of physics do not apply to Roadrunner. You paint a picture, it turns into reality that it runs through from then on. Until you try to go through it. And then it's a picture again, and you get killed by it. Yeah. Or a truck will come and hit you.

Who knows? It will summon a train. Roadrunner can summon trains. Trains is a good offensive move. But again, psychic Pokemon could probably just fuck up Roadrunner's brain. Yeah, that's true. But again, it would be like they would think they're doing it, but then they're actually getting the other psychic Pokemon

and then turns around and psychics them back. And then Piano falls on them. I think if anything, psychic's one of the ones that's got the most covered. Ghosts? Ghosts? Are you just asking now about ghosts? Are those ghost Pokemon?

I suspect that Roadrunner makes it to the Elite Four. Yeah. Until ghosts. Ghost. Until Ghosts. Ghosts is one weekend. Because trains, straight through a ghost. Yeah. Piano falls on a ghost, whatever. Straight through a ghost.

Oh, this wall leads to this painting. Have there ever been a crossover with any of the Looney Tunes and the Ghostbusters? Not that I'm aware of. I don't think so. Yeah, you know what? They're both written by Warner Brothers, so sure. Like in the cartoons, something like that, because it would not be outside the realm of possibility

for Roadrunner to summon one of the Ghostbusters, if not all. I think that that is a little bit out of the realm of possibility, but I'm happy to do some research real quick. Everybody find out if you're Ghostbusters and Roadrunner have ever made house. Don't even need them, because you've got Daffy Duck's Quackbusters. Ah! Wow. Oh, that one time Bugs Bunny was an exorcist.

No, Daffy Duck again. Daffy Duck's dealt with the supernatural quite often. But you've picked Roadrunner, not Daffy Duck. That's true. But he could summon. They don't really know each other. You can't just bring mates. Daffy Duck and Roadrunner

don't really hang out. That's true. That Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, Yosemite Sam, all that shit's always happening. Actually, they're closer friends

with Wile E. Coyote. That's true. Speaking of, with Wile E. Coyote, how would he interfere? Because I assume he's still hunting. Absolutely.

That's his eternal quest. It doesn't matter because his impact makes so little effort that you wouldn't even notice. But if he's like Acme strapped to some kind of... What are ghosts weak against? Ghosts against other ghosts? Psychics. On psychics.

Yeah. I think I can remember a vague cartoon of Wile E. Cody trying to bend a spoon. Okay. That's just a start. But then, again, Wile E. Cody's not going to help. He'd let the ghost win. I know, but he'd be trying to... Again, you don't...

You can't understand Roadrunner and Wile E. Cody. Wile E. Cody's, yeah, he's going to try and eat the Roadrunner, but in doing so, it's going to help him and set him free. That's true. That's a good point. You've got somebody you're itching to get out, Doof, right? I just want to hear it so you don't explode on air. Okay, cool.

Like my phone. An actual real-life firefighter. All right. Rock gyms, spray them with your hose. They're cooked. Water gym, who cares? Hit them with your hose they're cooked water Jim who cares hit him with your hose

or with an axe use some fire that you caught from the last time you put out a fire whatever electricity you're wearing

rubber boots yeah exactly yeah use his special move his sex appeal electricity Jim he's doing the calendar move you've got rubber boots

I've got rubber boots I'm fine Grass thing, use a fire that I caught before That's how that works Use some fire you picked up last You were like, I'm just going to take some home Firefighters are often fire starters as well Because they like the glory and the rush

Anyway Just drop it in, I like it Do some arson Because you're gonna do it anyway Poison Jim You've got a gas mask on Yeah I'm good Because you You don't want any smog

In your throat And then you've got that axe Yeah I thought it was actually The Cinnabar I know psychic Jim Yeah He's just waiting

He's so excited About Cinnabar Island What about the psychic Jim? You can see his face As he said Cinnabar. I don't know if I'm a strong psychic. Psychics. But if you're quick with your axe. No, no.

I agree. I think a fire itself is a very high risk scenario. You've got to be psychically strong. That's true. Absolutely. Mentally tough. You're going to see some,ally tough Mr Mime's like Spooky shit

I've seen people on fire You make that Mr Mime traumatised Hit him with an axe That Mr Mime's like Mr Mime Slam down the middle of the skull Traumatise the psychics Cinnabar Island

Put him out Viridian City That's normal isn't it It's ground Dramatize the psychics. Cinnabar Island. Put him out. Put him out. Put him out. Now he's got covered, yeah. Viridian City. That's normal, isn't it? It's ground. Rhyhorn. Doug Trio.

Nidda Queen. Nidda King. Do you know what ground is weak against? What? Water. Well, there you go. Wet him up. Wet him up.

Nidda King and Nidda Queen, though. My... Yeah? Hit him with the truck. Hit him with the truck. Hit him with the truck Hit him with the truck Hit him with the truck You're like, just give me a second And then you go Just through the side of the gym in a truck

My name's Lance Barnstrom and I'm a fireman And I'm gonna hit your Pokemon with a truck Also And like, you know, if you want You also have your trusty Dalmatian Yeah, absolutely Send that out to eat the fucking Pokemon to kill the Doug Trejo. Elite 4-1, Ice type.

Do you know what Ice is weak against? Trucks. Run over a seal. You're good. Won't even notice. This is bad. Branding issues here, though. Fighting type.

You're strong with an axe. Doesn't matter how many times they kick you You stab them with an axe Ghosts The horrors of his mismates It could be my friends Coming back to haunt him Yeah yeah yeah

What ghost is your downfall? Ghost is my The ghost of the past That I've caused by Shedding fires on purpose. Wait, what if we make an elite team of emergency services? If we chuck a cop and an ambulance driver in there as well, does that fix things?

Ghosts, they're used to ghosts. They are used to, yeah. But also an ambulance would just use revive. Bring it back to life. Bring it back. Which then... Hits him with an axe. So you've got Ambo, Cop, and a fireman. Are we going to throw in a doctor in there as well?

For good measure? Yeah, a doctor and Ambo, it's a team. Alright. Yeah, good. So you just revive the Gengar. The Gengar's like, I'm a man again. And the cop shoots him. Yeah, the cop shoots him.

And he's a ghost and he's brought back again. So we've got to leave them behind because they're going to be taking care of that as we keep moving. It's like Harry Potter. Dragon type Pokemon. Gyarados, Dragonair, Aerodactyl and Dragonair. Fire is safe.

It's against the fire in a part of that. Like a truck into Gyarados. Gyarados, that kills. Sure. An axe would probably kill a guy. Gyarados is a big boy. Yeah, imagine cutting

down a tree, but it's alive. A police truck, an ambulance, and a fire truck slamming into a Gyarados. Whoa,

what about lifeguard helicopter services? We've got a helicopter in the mix. Yeah, the blades

turn upside down. It's a suicide hit, but, uh, Gyarados into sushi.

Exactly. And then Aerodactyl and Dragonite, you can just chop to shit with an axe and shoot with your pace. Yeah. We're losing all the members of the emergency services as we go, but it's kind of beautiful. And then you're at your champion.

You're at blue. You're going to fight blue now. I can put down a Pikachu. Okay, well, Pidgeot. That's just a big bird shot. Bang. Or set on fire from fire just a big bird shot. Bang. Or set on fire from fire you've kept for glory. Alakazam, psychic.

You're like, I'm a tough fireman. Hey, think of all these things. I just think back to my journey to this. Rhydon, hit with a truck. That's fine. Also, again again weak against water the easiest one to kill just letting you know now

executor that's just a tree fire gun axe axe oh cut down the tree you can literally

chop it down imagine break those eggs just send out a pokemon and I'm just like the guy you versus just picks up an axe and starts cutting it down

quit it stop it mister oh no and then you get a like, the guy you versus just picks up an axe and starts cutting it down. Quit it! Stop it! Mister! Oh no! And then you get a Gyarados. Same as before. Same as before. And then, because it depends on who We don't have the helicopter anymore. Do you have like, maybe the SES service coming down? Could we, can a Gyarados survive for a long time? Oh wait, no, a Gyarados you just

fucking use, um, the paramedics thing. Jaws of life? No, no, Jaws of life. you were making the motion of a machine gun dead done cooked and dead all right so now it comes down to the starters because who you fight depends on who you chose at the beginning but we eschewed the whole thing to instead choose a firefighter but then so what's the opposite of a fire it's him against the cop and i'm gonna cop in my team so what is it what else is that what what is the opposite against a firefighter probably a bunch of entertainers like a clown the opposite yeah the opposite of the fire the least the least essential services that's like

a comedian so an actor all right so a group All right, so a group of podcasters. A group of podcasters, a clown and a mime versus a firefighter, a cop, an SES, an ambulance driver. Unfortunately, as we represent the bad group of that, none of us are immune to bullets. I'm not immune to getting axed in the brain. Nor are clowns. And mimes can mime a wall, but that doesn't mean a wall is actually there dead we might be in big trouble here guys i have a feeling we're all

killed with an axe or a piece or a piece i might try and get arrested instead yeah can we go to jail and then joel ducha with the pokemon league pokemon champion me and my firefighter and cop and ambo and ambo and ses service person you are the leader of the pokemon of the elite four first person to ever beat the elite four without using a single pokemon but you're gonna say first person to beat them with an axe. Both accurate. Probably true. And on that note, I've been Joel, Pokemon champion and friend of the fireys. I've been Jackson. I've been Joel.

And I've been George. Thanks for accidentally coming into this episode. It's all right. Hope you had a good time. It was good fun. Bye. See ya. Thanks for listening. And if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can find us at. It was good fun. Bye. See ya. Thanks for listening.

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