Plumbing the Death Star - Which Fictional Villain Do You Secretly Wish Had Won?

Episode Date: February 9, 2020

Grab your tickets to our joint live show with Planet Broadcasting to raise money for Wildlife Victoria here or Donate to Wildlife Victoria directly here.Support the A Boxer kickstarter here.Sign up to our newsletter here. Join our facebook group here.You can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073.Want to help support the show?Sanspants+ | Podkeep | USB Tapes | MerchWant to get in contact with us?Email | Twitter | Website | Facebook | RedditOr individually at;Jackson | Duscher | Zammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, Australia's most five-thumbed podcast network. Hey, let's talk about it. Let's have that discussion. Who's the best, Sands Pants Radio or Planet Broadcasting? Want to find out? I sure do. I sure hope I pick the right podcast network to work for. Well, on February 20th, we're doing a live Plumbing the Death Star

and then pitting Sands Pants against Planet Broadcasting in a game show to end all game shows hosted by yours truly and Dave Warnke. And look, this is all very exciting, but it's not the main point of the event. Australia is currently being ravaged by bushfires, and we want to do our part. So all ticket sales will be donated to Wildlife Victoria. So not only will you be able to see two titans of industry go head to head, you'll also be providing support and relief to the people putting their lives on the line for Australia's wildlife. Head to head to sanspantsradio.com slash live to grab your

tickets asap and come and see if i picked the right network or if i fucked up monumentally hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of plumbing the death star where we ask important questions like which fictional villain do you secretly wish had won? Okay, so I'm picking... You might not remember this as the person's name, but I'm going to describe them Because I didn't remember Chef Skinner from Ratatouille Chef Skinner being the diminutive chef

That becomes really angry When he realises there's a rat cooking in his kitchen In the end He's kicked out of the kitchen And I think homeless Was he like head chef at that restaurant for a little bit? All of a sudden, okay, so let's examine the events of Ratatouille through Chef Skinner's eyes.

Yes. Okay, he works in a very busy restaurant. Now, the death of Gusteau, Chef Gusteau, has lost them a couple of Michelin stars, but they are still very prestigious. Wait, the death? Okay, look, surprise, I haven't seen Ratatouille. Someone fucking dies at the store?

No, no, it's like, hey. So Ratatouille. Someone fucking dies at the stove. No, no, it's like, hey. So Ratatouille loves this chef called Chef Gusteau. And Chef Gusteau's like, anyone can cook. He's voiced by Raymond's brother, Robert. Robert Ramone. Robert Ramone. You know, secret other Ramone. That's who voices him. I combined Ramone and Barone and other Ramone. That's who voices him.

I combined Ramona and Barone and got Ramone. Exactly. Robert Ramone. I hate rain. That's Greg Bop. But he voices the chef that Ratatouille the rat loves. Yep. But then he's died a while back.

Yeah. As he dies prior to the film. Yeah. They don't be like, let's open this kid. Oh then he's died a while back. Yeah. Oh, so he dies prior to the film. Yeah. They don't be like, let's open this kid friendly film with a guy having a heart attack. Well, I shouldn't be that shocked because the next film they made was Up

and that literally happened. It's a Pixar. It just wouldn't be surprising. Anyway, so he runs a pretty impressive restaurant. Three Michelin stars, there's nothing to sneeze at. Yeah. Achoo. Just kidding. Can't sneeze at it. Exactly. And. Three Michelin stars is nothing to sneeze at. Yeah. Achoo.

Just kidding. Can't sneeze at it. Exactly. And then- Even one Michelin star is pretty impressive. You know how many Michelin stars I got? None. Man, being one person with any amount of Michelin stars,

I am a restaurant. Come to me, I'll cook you something. But so the chef's, I don't know, son, long-distance son Arrives at the restaurant, he needs a job Already a big hassle He's not French He doesn't know what he's doing But you gotta hire him

You get him to throw out, you know, whatever He does the bins He's like basically a waiter But he's shit at that as well Absolutely But he wants to be a cook And then a rat comes in your restaurant Okay, And you get

Linguini, the son of Gusteau, to kick the rat out. Is he the son of... He's related to Gusteau in some capacity. I just don't know if that's true. And then... And then... Let him misremember this film. And then you begin

to suspect that not only has Linguini brought the rat back in, but that he's involving it in food prep. Not even just that. First off, do you think in this world that rats have magic power? No. You don't. So one day you're just going to be like, Linguini,

there is a rat in your hair and he's going to smile at you and be like, yes. Yes, chef. You're going to be like, and be like yes yes chef you'd be like no not yes chef no chef you should not have a rat shitting on your head linguine get it out yeah but like it's even scream that is the appropriate response this one says there's a rat on your head but it's even stranger because you know you ask him specifically to kick get a rat out of your restaurant and then the next day you suspect he still is the rat, and you're like, what happened? Why didn't you throw it away? Why have you carried it this whole time?

Why did you get a disease-ridden rat? And not just, like, kept it as a pet. Like, if you're like, all right, so I'm like, Linguini, please, we have a bit of a rat problem. There's this one rat. He's big. He's a big sucker. We need him out of this.

It's a fucking restaurant, Linguini. Michelin star restaurant. And then. Yeah, right. So you're like, okay, so he gets rid of the rat. And he's like, okay, so he's got rid of it. Maybe he didn't kill it. Yeah.

Because you're like, okay, maybe he's a bit of a kind soul. Maybe he's like, oh, maybe I'll try and tame a street rat. Yeah. Sure. That's your own prerogative. And he takes it home and he cares for that street rat. And you know what? Not my problem. Yeah, that's just a pet. That's a man with a pet and that's nice.

That is a man who is capable of loving a disgusting beast like a rat. It's nasty, but you can have a rat. Rats are fine. That's not my issue. My issue is it's a street rat that he's picked up off the street. That's fine. No. Pick's picked up off the street. That's fine.

No. Pick up a dog from the street. Would you be upset at that? Would you be like, hey, there was a stray dog. I picked it up. It's now my friend. I mean, that's a bit. I don't know if you can call any rat a stray.

Or a friend. Not like you look at it like birds in a tree And you're like look at all these stray birds Oh no Where are their homes Yeah you'd be like you I don't know maybe finding A wild dingo Yeah Look at this stray I got as it bites your hand

Yeah Oh it loves me It's giving me love bites And then Linguini becomes a really good chef, and you begin to suspect the rat has something to do with it. You see the- The leap there is phenomenal. I would just be like, wow, I guess he's doing a lot of training.

And if I uncover that he's got a rat in his hair, I would not be like, a magical rat. I would be like, right right It's psychosomatic He has the plague Yeah I may need to fire this boy It's understandable that he now thinks the rat Is making him a good chef But I think it's just psychosomatic

And this boy has had a mental break Well from memory the things that Chef Skinner witnesses Obviously Linguini becomes a great chef He suspects he still has the rat But he can't see it Then he takes in the chefs linguine makes delicious meals secretly ratatouille yeah so he's like well i guess his name is ratatouille it's rammy it might as well be rammy the dirty rat it's rammy the dirty rat doing all the cooking right but whatever he thinks it's Remy the Dirty Rat doing all the cooking, right? But whatever, he thinks it's Linguini. He gives Linguini a chef's hat.

He finds a rat hair in it. He's very suspicious. And I think at one point he sees Linguini giving Remy the Dirty Street Rat like a strawberry as like part of a deal. And he can see that they're having like a communication. He becomes very paranoid and then is eventually kicked out of his own restaurant and then discovers that the rat can cook and he's not happy about it. But the movie's like he's been justly kicked out of his own restaurant and then discovers that the rat can cook and he's not happy about it. But the movie's like he's been justly kicked out of his restaurant

when a rat... You can't get a rat clean enough. A rat shouldn't be cooking in a restaurant. There's a reason why we generally wear hair nets and gloves and all kinds of things. Because a rat... It's dirty yeah it walks on its hands that's dirty sorry i'm not eating rat soap but why not well i might yeah i was gonna say i've seen you do far more disgusting things oh in remy the dirty rat's defense. Okay. He's not actually handling the food.

Yeah, that's true. He is in a self-contained. At the end of the film he is. At the end of the film he is. And then, yeah, no, I'm not talking about the dirty rat restaurant. So like Ratatouille ends with they make a Ratatouille for the food critic, right? And he loves. For a film critic.

He's like, this isn't a movie. It's a meal. What's happening but so then they they're like critics like who made this and they're like we'll tell you you gotta wait till everyone's left the restaurant and then they tell him it was a rat but it always annoyed me that the film critics like review food The food critics. Review. At no point mentions that a rat cooked the food, but then the next scene is when they've opened a rat restaurant. Like, I'm still not eating there.

If you found out a restaurant was run by rats or that rats were involved in the cooking process, would you go? I would have. It'd have to make. No. I'm like, look, if they made sure that there was like, every rat was dunged in detergent and cleaned, I'd be like, no, not even then.

Jackson. Yes. Look, you're at your house. You hear? Hello? I'll open the door first. Hello? Jackson, it's Dusha.

Open the door. What? Hold on. That Open the door. What? Hold on. That was the door opening. Jackson. What? I came here as quick as I could. Down the corner, there's a restaurant that's run by rats.

I pushed past you. Let's go eat there. I've not even locked up my house. I've just gone. They can have it. There is a... He's running on his hands, leaping like some kind of lupine beast down the street.

They can have it. I don't know who they are, but that's cool. Yeah. As if, if I'm like, hey, there's a restaurant run, literally run by rats. Yeah. Somehow it's health. Somehow it's health safe, but do you want

to go eat it? Yeah. Of course! But, okay, I'm a specific kind of person. Let's reverse that situation. Hey, Dusha, there's a restaurant run by rats. Do you want to go? I am incredibly curious, absolutely. Do you want to go and

eat there? I'll decide when we get there just imagine looking in that little window into the kitchen and seeing filthy rats yeah like picking up like it's just bad it is like i've been to you know there's cat cafes oh yeah i guess seeing rats run over food before you eat it is bad like i've been to a cat cafe and you sit down there's humans make the food and then there's cats that are around and they might come And sit on you and you can scratch their faces And what not

And that's fine but imagine A rat cafe Where there's just a horde of rats That can ride over you As you eat your food Hell yeah Give me that dirty rat cafe Wrong person I'm talking to.

But then one step again is, and then the rats are involved in the food. Aren't rats, just when you think about it, very little dogs? No. Yes, but would you go to a dog run restaurant? Yeah, once again, would you? There's no restaurant run by animals that is good.

What about birds? Chips is gross run by animals that is gorgeous. What about birds? Chips is gross too. They shit. Yeah. So I'm imagining like a dog with a wooden spoon kind of mixing a good like bolognese and it just kind of drooling in. The worst thing is that the only way to make it really hygienic or one step towards is shaving off the rat.

Yeah. Shave those rats. That's so much worse. That's so much worse. it really hygienic or one step towards is shaving off the rat yeah shave those rat no chance of fleas but imagine you're watching them cook an onion soup a rat falls in climbs out all the rats look at each other like we're gonna still serve this it's a shame to waste you know and even if that doesn't happen you never know How have rats been in this soup? You're eating like a chicken breast Or something And you're like, is this a chicken breast?

Or is this a big rat? Did a rat fall in? This is bad When was the scare in Australia When KFC accidentally cooked a bunch of rats? Would you have still gone to KFC? Yeah It's minimal But KFC? Yeah. Well, that's just... To risk it, I mean...

It's minimal. Yeah, but KFC's not run by rats. Yeah, KFC. That's crazy. Imagine KFC run by rats. They're so close to the deep fryer all the time. Well, that's probably what happened. That's like a volcano.

The deep fryer is a volcano for rats. That's scary as hell. That's like if we just worked like we were recording and in the middle of our studio, there's just a lava pit. Yeah, like a pit. How does Remy the Dirty Rat and his Dirty Rat friends end up making food when there are such problems like fire? They just risk it.

They climb spoons. And now I'm imagining putting that spoon in my mouth and I don't like it. It's fail. No. And might I remind you There's gonna be so many Like with chefs

They get like a lot of burnt fingers And like It's not as Yeah Cuts and everything like that There's so many dead rats Now imagine Just a big knife on a rat hand

Yeah That whole rat is losing a whole hand Hey here's the thing no one's discussed Rats just shit Yeah Rats just shit wherever And Remy Like He's got no sphincter control yeah

he's just gonna shit so okay so is that kitchen's full of ratchet is that your biggest issue it's one of them to rank them if i had to write the issues with ratatouille as a whole rat run restaurant it's dirty rat hands okay touching. Dirty rat feet running over my spoons. Absolutely. Rats possibly falling in. It's rat hair, little rat shits. So rat shits is like quite low. Yeah.

Because I was going to say, what if we give rats anuses? Like assholes. Like sphincters. They have assholes. What if we gave them sphincter control? What if we gave them bum cheeks? Is your question. Yes. That's probably what I was trying to get at What if we gave them bum cheeks, is your question? Yes, that's probably what I was trying to...

If we gave rats human arses, then that restaurant becomes a whole lot cooler. Hey, what a juicy rat restaurant. Every rat is sick as hell. Come on in. Whoa. You could just put these thick rats on display. You don't need to cook food.

Dude, is this allowed? Do you want to go to this restaurant run by rats with thick ass? No, yes. Yeah, I'm not going to eat, but damn, I want to see it. Bang, bang, bang, like knocking on the window. Can you do this? Is this street legal? These rats are juicy as shit, man.

That's the thickest fucking rat I've ever seen. Holy shit. Back that cake up. Let's talk. Look, I can see why you want that villain to win. You want to skin him. And also, Chef Skinner, the restaurant has no Michelin stars at the end because it's shut down. So he would have kept rightfully so.

Yeah, a lot of people in a good job, but yeah. So look, he should have won. But, you know, a juicy rat restaurant would also be good. So for him to win, he would just need to kill that rat, fire Linguini. It would have to be, instead of him getting Linguini to take the rat out, he gets like a big meat tenderizer and just squishes Remy in the head. And he's like, well, back to cooking. Washes the hammer first.

Washes the hammer, possibly throws it out. Everyone's like, that's not food safe. Don't do that. Sends Linguini home to wash his hair. Yeah, absolutely. And he's like, maybe Linguini needs to get another job. So Linguini's hair is going to be caked and ratchet and pierced. Ratchet and pierced.

And Remy's a boy rat, which means that he's got big old dangle and testicles. Obviously, Pixar can't show that. But now imagine a rat maybe putting the finishing spices on your meal. And as he scurries over it, his testicles drag across your mashed potatoes. Okay. Mashed potatoes is good because you see the little ball drags. How about this? Oh, stripes.

That's cool. Can we improve the rat restaurant by giving them little tiny gloves? Yes. Giving them pants with like a shit sack, I guess. Nappies. Nappies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm here to buy shit sacks for my baby.

I'm like, yeah, look, I've invented a new pen. It's called a shit sack. You mean nappies? I've invested so much money. Three years into this, my life. Shit. Fucking hell. Shit sacks aren't going to work.

And maybe a full body hair net. If you shaved the rats and put them in diapers and gave them gloves and little shoes. I don't think shaving them. They would look like tiny foul babies. No they wouldn't. At a glance. Maybe. Holy shit is this restaurant

run and cooked by little babies? Oh no they're just nude rats. Oh my god. Well I guess not nude. They got a diaper on. They got diapers and little booties. They must shit nude rats. Oh my God. Well, I guess not nude. They've got a diaper on. They've got diapers and little booties. They must shit heaps. Still going to give them an ass so they fill out the diaper. That's fair.

How does a bomb cheeks work on a rat? They don't have them. They're just going to flat back. In this situation. Oh, in the juicy rat world. I assume it's like under the tail and they've got big curves actually we've we've seen this halfway there is um there is a mechanic that we often pass there is that has a very thick and juicy rambling mascot it's just like an auto repairs shop. But their mascot is a rat

backing up to you with the juiciest, thickest ass looking cacadishly over its shoulder at you. And then pointing at his Yeah, pointing at his asshole. What's happening? Park your car in here big boy. Yeah, it's so strange. It is beautiful.

And now a quick word from our sponsors. Also, hey, can you do me a favour? After this episode It is beautiful. And now a quick word from our sponsors. Also, hey, can you do me a favor? After this episode is over and you've cooled down and finished writing your angry letters to the plumbing boys, head over to kickstarter.com and back A Boxer, a gorgeous graphic novel about a gay fighter who struggles between the hyper-masculine, aggressive world of combat sports and his sexual identity.

The team behind it is made up of Eisner award-winning Hassan Ostman Elhow and Dente award winner, Amanda Miranda. It's published by BHP comics and all funds raised to going towards paying the artist for their work and making sure the book you helped support makes its way to you. So come on, shoot off that angry email to the plumbing boys.

Will you tell us how wrong we were and then head over to kickstarter.com and back this award winning team. With just £5 you can receive rewards ranging from the digital comic to an original page of art from the book. That's kickstarter.com and search for a boxer. Anyway, Chef Skinner should have won. Oh, 100%. I agree. And you know

who else should have won? Who's that? William Stryker from X-Men 2 X-United. Absolutely. His big plan was simply just to kill all the mutants. Yeah. And look, while I'm against, generally while I'm like, look, hey, mutants have rights, at this point if someone else is doing the atrocity,

then it's kind of like, hmm. Yeah, how do you feel about that argument? So you're about four sentences in. You forgot about human rights. You've either got to be on the killing mutants train, which I definitely am. I have not thought this through. While you try and come to terms with what your brain just did,

would you like me to talk about my one? No, no, I can salvage this. Okay. All right. That's exciting. Yeah, let's see how... You either just got to jump on the mutant train, every mutant is born with a gun in their mouth or whatever.

You just need to turn the gun the other way around, sort the problem. Absolutely. So William Stryker, his plan is to kill all the mutants and he's doing this by using his son because he wants revenge kill all the mutants and he's doing this by using his son because he wants revenge on all the mutants because his son made his wife, the mother of

Jason, to get a drill and drill her own head. Okay. And then, look, mutants are dangerous. That's true. They're no good. This is a very simple way. Is that what happened in X2? That's why he hates mutants. That's an intense way to die.

That's real grisly. Because again, his son, Jason, was just like, mastermind I think he's based off, was just like, you know, his illusions, his old manipulation of minds, whatever. And he did it to the point where he convinced his mother to do it. Really, William Shatner should hate his son. He does.

Oh, well, that's good. He certainly does. But also, he hates all mutants. And as Jack, you've pointed out, mutants are dangerous. They're no good. They are very no good. The world is better off without them. That's just life.

And it would be lovely if we could all live in peace. Everyone could hold hands. Some of these mutants are born with a gun in their mouth. Some of them convince their own mothers to drill their heads. So this is a nice way. It's a very simple solution to get rid of all choice of words. I really, really, really do not like this. Rats.

Killing rats. I'm on board with that. Then we start getting a bit of, I'm like, you know what? Maybe I don't like this. Maybe I hate this a lot. At what point during my My Mutant Extermination episode and this episode did Zabit come onto my side?

Zabit was like, huh. You know, I've had some time to meditate. That's done in their mouth. You know, yeah, yeah. I've preyed on it and I guess Jackson, in many ways, you're right. Mutants are dangerous. I strongly disagree. Yeah, look, as I think about it, maybe...

How about Magneto in the same movie? Okay. So what he wants to do is he wants to kill all humans. Okay, so... Okay. Somehow... You've gone worse. What?

You've just gone bad again, but probably the same level. Well, no, but I mean, like, there's an argument to be made for exterminating all mutants. There's no argument to be made for exterminating all humans. Let's backtrack a film. Okay. X1. X1. Magneto.

Magneto's plan was to make everyone mutants. Turn the guy into that wet slime thing. So if he had won, he would have turned every single person into mutants. And the playing field would have been level. Which is what I was trying to get at, but then I forgot a lot of death.

A lot of just... Making everyone mutants seems like a great way to end the world. You definitely will end Rogue's world because she has to die. Hey, for the greater good. Yeah. Ice Rogue. She's dangerous, dude. What if she forgets her gloves one

day? Yeah. How often has Rogue... What if she trips and lands face first on a person? What if she's in the shower and she slips on a bar of soap and she falls out the X-Mansion window onto a whole bunch of mutants that were underneath doing a huddle because they were about to on a bar of soap and she falls out the X-Mansion window onto a whole bunch of mutants that were underneath doing a huddle. They're about to play a game of American football

and they all get sucked into her. Or whatever. How often have you gone, okay, if I was like, there's a girl in America that if she touches you, you get sick. I'd be scared. No, you wouldn't.

You'd be like, that's weird. I'm going to research scared. No, you wouldn't. You'd be like, that's weird. I'm going to research that. Oh, she seems cool. That's exactly what you'd do. She's got cool hair. I wouldn't look it up. You would look it up. You'd be like that, and I'd be like, cool, and then I'd forget about it. Oh, maybe that's a bit spooky.

Oh, no, I've forgotten about it. I've started thinking about rats with guns or something. How do a frog's legs even work? Wikipedia-ing that. So X-1, Magneto tries to give the whole world mutant powers. Unfortunately, he does have the plan where if those people get mutant powers for a good 24 hours, then they all die and turn into goo. Wait, why?

He hasn't quite mastered the whole turning everything into mutant powers. So let's jump forward two films. Okay, sure. To X-Men 3. All right. Where there is a cure for mutants. I'm Juggernaut, bitch. I remember.

Yes. And there doesn't seem to be any side effects. Doesn't that get rid of everyone's cool powers, though? Yes. Like Storm? Jackson, shut up. Do you know what else gets rid of their powers? Killing them.

Yeah, but that's like a blanket. So is this. Yeah, I guess. Why? I'm going to be on the side of Warren Worthington II. Okay. Who is like, sees his freak child with wings. It's like, none of that.

None of that. For a family man, none of that, none of that. For a family man, you sure do side with people that hate their children a lot. That's weird that a lot of the X-Men villains seem to. So if you think about it, William Stryker clearly hates his child, but Warren Worthington II loves his child so much that he wants to get rid of his wings. That he wants to give him a normal life. But Warren Worthington II loves his child so much.

That he wants to get rid of his wings. That he wants to give him a normal life. I don't like the arguments I'm choosing. X-Men Origins. Let's see what we can find there. All right. Let's move back a few films. All forward depending. The Soviets.

Okay. The Cuban Missile Crisis okay nah let's get out of here Days of Future Past Days of Future Past the end of the world okay so we've got a bunch of robots

and they just need to kill me damn it it's X2 again forward again Apocalypse. Apocalypse. He wants to rule the world by killing everyone. Yeah, but does he

have a good reason? No. He's old. Does he make more mutants? Does he make mutants? He makes a few mutants more powerful and then uses those to kill. That's pretty cool. The only avenue you have left is Dark Phoenix.

So... X-Men 3 again. X-Men 3. No, there's no cure in that. There's an alien. There's aliens. Yeah, they wanna... They wanna... Okay, look. Alright. Humanity's cooked it. Yeah, that's true.

We've done some bad things to our planet. You know what? We had a good run. Yeah. And maybe we should be like, hey. You've been dancing around an argument that I think would have served you a lot better, which is, but this person already did win. But it sounds like you just want an Adrian Veidt, but in Marvel.

A little. Hey, can't get world peace without breaking a few New York cities. Well, yeah, there does seem to be this whole, you know, mutant and human, human, human. Human. Mutant and human divide. Yeah. And so it would be nice if that was all peaceful.

Well, the aliens in Dark Phoenix, I think, just want Dark Phoenix, right? Yeah, but didn't they want to also destroy the world at some point? I think eventually, but that's true for so many people. We might as well pick that one. So, yeah. Mutants in... No, the aliens in Dark Phoenix. It's either this or this is the only safe place left, dude.

You better pick. There's literally no other. Until New Mutants comes out in 2020 or whatever, you're cool. You got it. You're done. Yeah. You could probably pick a villain that just isn't the major. Like, maybe you want Sabretooth to win.

What did Toad want? Toad? Nothing good. Something slimy, for sure. Okay, so Sabretooth wanted to kill Wolverine. Ah, Wolverine! Wolverine Origins! Okay.

We've got that. What did he want in that? What about Logan? Jump forward two Wolverines. Oh! Oh! Logan! He wants the want in that? What about Logan? Jump forward two more frames. Oh, Logan. He wants the villain in that. The villain in that, he simply wanted to feed, he basically poisoned the water supply with mutant suppressing water.

Everyone drunk it, no mutants. But then he won. Yeah, the villain had already won at the start of the film So is So is Logan the antagonist? No Nice try Not even close

Nope Good job Oh wait no okay you want the villains of Logan to win That's a couple of kids with bullets in their brains Oh that's true. You're trying to kill a new mutant. What about- Again, you've gone for something that involves camps.

What about the Wolverine? It's the last one. That's the silver samurai. What's his motive? He wanted a mortality. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah. He just wanted to do-

At what cost? Wolverine. You kill Wolverine, who cares? Yeah, that's pretty cool. He just wanted to do it. At what cost? Wolverine. You kill Wolverine, who cares? Yeah, who cares about Wolverine? Take his bones, it's fine. Whatever. Wolverine's basically a big piss baby anyway. He's lived enough life.

Yeah, he's been around since like the 1800s or whatever. Yeah, that's heaps. Everybody should have max 200 years. Yeah, so let's get old, mate. Was he running the Yakuza, though? Oh, no. Am I arguing running the Yakuza, though? Oh, no. Am I arguing for more Yakuza? Fuck.

Fuck. Are there any other Marvel? Deadpool! Deadpool. Deadpool. The villain wants... Ajax. Yeah. He wants... What did he want? To make everyone mutants again.

Did he? It's really crazy. He kidnapped his. Discovering how much of the X-Men films have one of two possible plots. Genocide or mutant cure. Oh, no, it's like more mutants or less mutants. Yeah, that's it. Every X-Men movie.

Every X-Men movie. What was the plot of Deadpool? Because Deadpool wants to be cured. Yeah, and that guy loves making more freak shows. He goes to Department H, Weapon X, whatever it's called in that one, and he just was like, hey, we'll cure

you of your cancer, but we're going to make you look like a ball sack. What about Deadpool 2? Deadpool 2! Oh no, he kills humanity. No, that's not the villain Really The antagonist

Till he becomes a protagonist Is Cable So maybe you want that kid From Hunt for the Wilder People To die But the Yeah You want because

He Because Yes Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Without Deadpool's interference The Hunt for the Wilder People kid So I forget the kid's name Me too No Who knows Anyway

So he's destined to To basically Commit a lot of Genocide happenings In the future He kills Cable's His family Yeah absolutely

He kills a lot of other mutants And humans He seems to have no regard For human life So So sometimes You gotta You gotta kill a kid. Kid in the head.

Yeah. Look, you're at a dead end. This is the end of the road for you, Joel Zammett. There's no other X-Men movies for you to hide in. Fuck. Fuck. I think that was the best one you could come up with. Yeah, sorry. But if we were grading

these, that's an F. And again, you see that in Deadpool 2, a film that you've now forced me to remember, that at the end, the kid doesn't turn bad. But he could've. Because another villain in that, isn't that like

an abusive? Oh, there is. Damn it. Damn it. Maybe you want Juggernaut to win. He seems happy. What's he even doing in that movie? He wants to be out of the damn van. He just wants his freedom.

That's pretty good. Pretty good. Stay there and don't think about it anymore. Doesn't he get his freedom? Why do they have an X-Force in that film? No. I hate Deadpool. Yeah. I hate him and I hate his fucking movies.

That's fine. Some of the comic books are okay, but then I think about them too long and then I start to hate them too. Absolutely. Well, that's 100% an okay opinion to have. I did not care for Deadpool one yes i've got the perfect one for you an antagonist that you wanted to win yes should have been fox studios when they refused to green light deadpool but ryan reynolds sadly leaked footage and then the internet was like no we want this and now now we have Deadpool 1 and 2.

That's true. Because of Deadpool 1 and 2, we got a suicide squad. Yeah, that's true. Yes, that's true. What a terrible chain of events. So if it wasn't for Fox Studio losing. Ryan fucking Reynolds, if his internet connection just didn't work. Yeah.

Really? Probably, what, AT&T at this point? Yeah. Yeah Really Probably what AT&T at this point Yeah So yeah So if Fox Hadn't like Backpedaled And Hadn't have greenlit

Deadpool We wouldn't have gotten And we wouldn't have got The Joker Yeah man Another film I hate Wow there's a lot Wow

That chain of events is crazy That domino effect is scary Yeah it's bad. Domino, she's in thing of things, luck. That's true. Well done. Yep. I remember.

Never forget. Got a lot of luck power. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess, yeah. So if Fox had won, we wouldn't have gotten a lot of terrible films. Yes. Yes.

You settled somewhere good. Well done. So final grading on that. I was like, I was writing a B, and then I remembered that I said fictional when I asked the question, and then I crossed out the B and wrote D. Ds get degrees. Absolutely.

That's a pass. It's a pass through creativity and ignoring most of the question. Yeah. Okay. Mine was really easy to come up with. That is the janitor from Scrubs. I wish that he won and JD got fired and therefore Scrubs didn't exist. It would be great to have a TV show that ended in first season.

First episode! First episode, fired. You jammed this thing in this door or whatever and JD's like, what? And janitor's like, I'm taking this to Kelso and Kelso's like disrespecting hospital property you're out you're a fucking doctor

no not even that at that point he was like wait was he like a fully qualified doctor or was he at least like a student doctor doing his rounds

no he might have been a fully qualified doctor I reckon it was his first thing as a doctor yeah you're right your first move as a doctor shouldn't be playing fuck ass with a door.

Stop being... Don't just stand there in the fucking hospital. And this is the final surface of life. Oh, no. I think. Maybe. That seems weird, though. That doesn't seem like a band that Zach Braff likes.

He'd be like, I like the shins and thinking about... Nothing else. And that is it. Anyway, yeah, so Janet is like, you broke this door. And JD's like, no, I didn't. And Jenna's like, no, I'm taking it. Like, what the fuck?

It's your first day. And at the end, in the finale or whatever, he did do it. Yeah. He admits to it. That, he should have been fired. He should have been fired. Well, that's not good. I know we've grown, but that's an ultimate betrayal very early on.

Yeah. You kept that a secret this whole time. I'm very sorry, JD, but I'm going to have to force you to remember Scrubs. Oh, no. This is a lot. I don't like that I got called JD after remembering that the character's name is JD. I also don't like that I'm going to have to remember Scrubs. So, JD, were there any times where JD, in Scrubs, not you...

I don't like this. Any times in Scrubs where he, because of his doctoring or his incompetence, fucked up colossally, that people died? Because I'm remembering there was a lot of times where JD was pretty good at being a doctor. Yes, he was immature and a bit of a dickhead, but he had pretty good bedside manner. In fact, he was often complimented

by having such good rapport with his patients. The patients seemed to love his little wacky hijinks. Do you remember him getting any awards for being the world's best doctor? No. Do you know what would have... Did any of them? Is that a thing?

No, but he made... Is that an award you can... Through his just being the worst boyfriend slash friend in the world to Elliot, really crippled her self-esteem, which probably made her a worse doctor. True, but then she also started her own general practice. Later on. Later on. Later on. But she might have done it sooner if JD had been fired straight away.

And not presumably wrecked years of her life. And Dr. Cox had a pretty bad run when he fell into depression after all those patients died, through no fault of his own. But maybe if he wasn't busy babysitting JD so much, maybe he would have picked up that that woman who was donating all those organs had rabies. Hold on, hold on, hold on. And also, slowly JD is becoming the villain, which... Oh no!

No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No in it. He's going to remain the protagonist of BitGuy. It is his story. That's true. It is his story, one way or the other. Look, he does make everyone... He's's like, oh, no, I'm such.

He's one of those guys. It's like people that think they're like the hero and a nice guy. That's true. But he's actually shit. But he still is the hero. Yeah. But he still is a good doctor. Yeah.

But okay. Give that job to another doctor. Someone who didn't get a chance over this under this fuckwit. Absolutely. Maybe that they're. It's not a one in one-one-out policy yeah well it depends maybe it could have been and no it wouldn't be one-in-one-out but him getting the job means that he probably got the job over someone that's true how many fucking general practices do you think are like uh we wanted to hire six

doctors but only three applied wait there is There is a clear case where someone's death is directly resulted because of JD's incompetence. So we're looking at when he got a bunch of interns and there was Keith that he hated and he wanted to get him fired because him and Elliot were hitting it off. Sure. Crazy unprofessional. Disgusting.

He hated Keith, but Keith was an amazing doctor. And there was another one who was a bit of a goofball that JD loved. Of course. Dave Franco? No, not Dave Franco. It was someone else. I don't remember his name, but he did like a chimp impression. Oh, no.

My brain just remembered steak night. And then I was like, no, that was Turk. I'm just trying not to remember as much scrubs as humanly there was this guy he's a very terrible doctor that jd was ignoring okay and then uh cox was like when dr cox when when jd was complaining about well keith never said his name dr cox like yeah that guy and it made J.D. realize that a person he was overlooking was actually garbage. And so then he fires him.

But when he fires him, that guy then goes to see an elderly woman who everybody loves. Sure. And he picks up a dirty hanky, or a dirty tissue, throws it out, covered in germs, and he shakes that lady's hand. And you see this all happening as the show goes on. You see the germs on his hands go to the germs on her hands, and then she, like, touches her face.

And in the next episode, she's dead. Directly responsible JD. If he'd been fired, it wouldn't have happened. He killed an old woman. That old lady would have been alive alive and everyone would have loved her. Plus, I just feel like everyone's lives would have been nicer without him. Imagine trying to work as a doctor in that fucking hospital when all you hear in the background is like,

Eagle! Ah, Turk! Ah, shenanigans! Ah, Elliot! Ah, I'm daydreaming! Shut up! Awful. The daydreaming especially.

Imagine you're like, anyway, time to prep for surgery or whatever. And the show shows that he's not just like a quick thing. Like he's out and they're like clicking in front of like, he's in his own world again. Bad! No, no. It's not good. And he also ignores anyone who is married.

Whoa. Oh, no. Yes, he does. What a piece of shit. He's a dog shit man. is a dog shit which is why he should have got the death penalty if the janitor had been like hey i'm just i'm going as a trick jd should have been forced to seppuku seppuku kill himself with a sword at the end of the first episode. This hospital has a very interesting policy

when it comes to matters like this. Yeah, I'm not saying I'm against it. It's just controversial. How did he keep his job? Like, everyone, they're all bad. Oh yeah, I don't know. Some of them, like, Turk probably would have been a better doctor.

Well, he's shown, because he starts excelling as a surgeon later on and JD kind of gets jealous, I think. Again, trying really hard not to remember. Elliot, again, would have been a much better doctor. Well, she becomes an incredible doctor at the end, but self-esteem is shown to be her personal struggle, which is mostly caused by her shithead negging boyfriend.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. 100%. And he's a garbage friend. He thinks he's a good friend, but he's a bad friend. He's the worst friend. They should he's a good friend, but he's a bad friend. He's the worst friend. They should have cancelled Scrubs. They should. The general public is the villain for enjoying the show.

Yeah! NBC, why'd you keep greenlighting it? What's the creator's name? Bill Laurie? Bill Lawrence? Bill... Lawrence is right. Bill Lawrence? Fuck Bill Lawrence. He's the creator's name? Bill Laurie? Bill Lawrence? Bill... Lawrence is right. Bill Lawrence?

Fuck Bill Lawrence. He's the real villain. He's like, I've got a terrible idea that I'm going to inflict on the public. And for eight long and dog shit years... And a sneaky ninth one. Oh, God, no. Maybe that one's good because he's barely in it. Who knows or cares?

The general public. Fuck. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've been also Joel. I don't like that. No, I haven't. You're JD.

You're JD. And I'm Turk. That's all right. I'll be Kelso. No, you'd be Dr. Cox I think Alright What's Turk's wife's name? I don't know dude Carla?

Yeah you can be Carla Alright Hook up with Jack Barry Jackson Thanks for listening And if you want to follow us on Twitter You can find us at SansPantsRadio Twitter you can find us at Sandspants Radio or you can find us individually

I'm at Douche13 I'm at OldDogsOfDead and I'm at GodDammitZammit If you want to hear our other shows you can head to SandspantsRadio.com and you'll find all our other content there There's heaps! And if you want to support us

head to SandspantsPlus.com Thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time Goodnight for now But not forever. Kisses.