Plumbing the Death Star - Which Mario Kart Racer Would Make The Best Taxi Driver?

Episode Date: February 9, 2025

You've landed in London, you're weary from your long flight, you need a taxi. Which Mario Kart character are you choosing to drive? Be careful, your choice could have disastrous meatball related repercussions.Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of plumbing the death star plumbing the death star is a comedy pop culture podcast Where we ask the important questions. I'm Joe I'm also Joe where I went there was I realized that every show I introduce is kind of the same Intro and my brain went to say the wrong sentence and I stopped myself. Yeah, I made a face Anyway today we're asking the important question Your flag and brother I'm all good drink two coffees took a shit. I've never felt better. This also isn't our question That's true. This question comes from Sam. I am in the Sandspans radio disc. That's true jump in there There's probably a link in the show notes

I'm sure there is the question is which Mario Kart race would make the best taxi driver We got there. We got there at the end. I think that was actually a decent intro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, one of the best. No, I agree. Look, let's not go crazy. Okay.

But genuinely, it was alright. It wasn't bad. I mean, it's a bit of fun. I would say like, oh yeah, like maybe one of the worst ones. One of the worst? It's in the bottom 50%. I will agree there. I will agree there.

I will agree there. I will agree there. I will agree there. I will agree there. I will agree there. yeah, like maybe one of the worst ones. What is the worst? It's in the bottom 50%. I will agree there. I think... I wouldn't give it a passing grade.

I think, okay. I think it gets a passing grade and I think it adds a little bit of flair to the study episode because if I just like shit it out, hey everyone this is a little bloomin' in the star, it's a little bit of a pop-out, you know what I'm saying? What I like now is it feels like you're being like it was intentional. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're kind of moving some goal posts. I don't know how many pop-ups you put in your mouth. What I like now is it feels like you're being like it was intentional. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He kind of moved in some goalposts.

It did because he was like, oh, and then you're kind of like a bit low energy and you put it back up. Like when you see a band, you don't want them just to sound like they're CD. Yeah, that's true. I mean... I'm right. It clears 50%. Just.

I do love any argument that ends with I'm right. Well I can't argue with that. Well you can. You can say no you're wrong. And then I say well actually. This brings me back to being like I'm just remembering this lovely almost a core memory in high school when there was just like that ratbag kid who was just like arguing with the teacher and his only argument was no you're wrong. And no and his only argument was, no, you're wrong. And no matter what she said, she was like,

he was like, no, you're wrong. And she was like, no, you're wrong. And like, she had no power. She had no power. No, no, no, it's brother. I get paid to tell you what's wrong. Brother, I'll kill you. No, you're wrong.

I'm a substitute teacher. I'll kill you right now. My job is casual at best. That's what sent you're wrong. I'm a substitute teacher. I'll kid you right now. My job is casual at best. That's what I said, you're in jail. I'll thrive. I'd like to see him thrive. It wasn't even a sub teacher. It was just, I was a regular teacher.

God, dude. And then imagine having to come back to that class. God, Christ. I mean, I think that this is like a, the kid's like, no, you're wrong. It's like, okay. And then you just keep. Yeah, yeah.

Don't engage. I think that's the trick. That's the trick. The's like okay, then you just keep yeah. Yeah, don't engage That's the trick to most things is just do not engage Yeah, exactly that thing though like you know where you know not teachers. We're like bit more jaded Yeah, you have like a teacher there. He's like no the kids are our future inspire them I got a dead poet society this I gotta stand on my desk or whatever No, that is good. You have to dead poet society this get as many kids out of the pictures possible Inspire them to do it That's what happened in the movie yeah

Do it that's a great robin Fucking flopper I just don't think that was a message. He wasn't Flubber. Flubber was goo. I made Flubber. How's that for Robert Williams? I was Patch Adams. Got my arse out.

For a movie that sucks. I was born big and Jack. And then I died. Cause my heart was old. I know what you're doing Make a wish but make one of them that I'm all good to go what his my question for you So when I'm getting into the room Williams Williams, I do a, oh, but you go, oh! Hey! Yeah, but I can do that for any actor.

Hey, it's me, Alec Baldwin! That's what he does. Oh, no, you're right. Actors all sound like that to me. Actors all sound the same. If he went back and played the tape, I'm pretty sure every impression that JD often does when an actor's like, hey, look, I'm Al Pacino!

Yeah. Well, throw it off. No, Al Pacino's, hey! See? Yeah, I'm good at impressions. Okay, yeah. Hey, it's me! Kristen Dunst! Kristen Dunst! Kristen Dunst! Were you about to be like Christopher Walken and then just at the last possible moment pivoted? No, I think Jackson almost got yeah, I almost said Kristen Stewart. Yeah Kristen Dunst is an awesome. Kirsten Dunst. Yeah, is it Dunst? Yeah Dunst. Okay Dunst and Chex in DUNST yeah Dunst and Chex in They should not let that ape be a criminal. Yeah. Okay, so One of the best intros of this episode

Show we've ever done in our lives. Yes, dude. 2025 is like this. Really? I'm noticing. Starting with the bang. We were doing it a long time! We were in a pool before and now we're in the studio and we're like, Taxi driver. Yeah, movie. Hey, you talking to me? You talking to me? You talking to me?

What? I'm the only guy here. Exactly. I've got a sweet looking gun now. You're talking to someone. Yeah. And you gotta be fucking talking to me. I'm the only guy here. Yeah.

Who else? Is there another guy? Me? Someone else in my apartment? It's funny cause we're doing this, but that's basically what happens in the movie. Yeah. We're not really adding anything to it. He does do that.

Yeah. Well, before we get to, you know, We're going to define what a taxi driver is. No, I was going to say before we get to you know, um, we're gonna define what a taxi driver No, I was gonna say before we get to which Mario Kart racer would be the best taxi driver Should we explore which one would be the funniest to do that scene? You're talking to me. Well, that's a little contraption on their hand to pull up a gun. Yeah And cuz like he's so little Yeah, you must're talking to me? Honey? And cause like he's so little I'm the only toad here

You must be talking to me With his little arm like doing little jabs and then just putting out a gun Hey, you talking to toad? Yeah, that's pretty funny That'd be good, that'd be good Donkey Kong is pretty funny

cause he's not saying shit and also like actually no it'd be very good because DK would do his little Oh yeah, slamming his own little chest there. Well the funny thing about DK is that like then would he see another ape being aggressive? Well yeah I was gonna say, if I remember correctly apes can't recognize each other and they can't recognize that it's themselves So when he asks that question he's being serious. Yeah, and then if he does like a little chest thump It's like that's a sign of aggression. Yeah, and then he might attack Tamara. Yeah. In the taxi driver situation, he just destroys them. Yeah. With a gun attached to his arm that he's not using. He can shoot the gun. Yeah. He has a coconut gun in DK64.

Yeah. It fires and spurts. If it shoots you, it's going to hurt, dude. Which is- What instruments is he playing in Donkey Kong 64? Bongos That makes sense Yeah, yeah, yeah Diddy Kong plays guitar? Yeah, yeah Dixie Kong plays the triangle

Funky Kong plays No, Dixie Kong doesn't play the triangle Yeah, she does Doesn't um, the big one play the triangle? Oh, he does Dixie Kong, I don't know what she plays She got like the clarinet or something? Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And uh Lanky plays Question mark, question mark, question mark He should play a banjo Yes, he should yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and Blankie plays Question my question my question should play a banjo. Yes. He should play a banjo. I don't know what he plays. That's crazy He's got the um, I feel like we were trumpet. Maybe yes. He plays the trumpet dot gun. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, he has a trumpet and yeah, and then don't you guys go shotgun? Yeah, diddy Kong has two pistols Lanky dot gun. Yeah, tiny bazoo. No tiny. What's his name? chunky chunky. Yeah, Chuckie's got a bazooka. Yeah, and Dixie has a

Crossbar. Oh, yeah, I see like sling. Yeah, we're nailing this twin blades Yeah, the taxi driver. Yeah, we hop in we're in the back of a taxi driver, we look up and Hey taxi! Yeah. Hey taxi. Yeah. The window winds down and? I think the best one, out of all the races in Mario Kart, I think the best person would be, well look, I mean it's a bit basic, Luigi. I'm gonna put forward Luigi. What about Luigi appeals to you as a taxi driver? Well again, because he's, it feels like he'd be pretty decent as a customer service sort of thing.

Like he'd be talking to me and be like, you want to go and I'm like I hear back No worries. How do you new in this area? He's asking that kind of stuff. Mamma Mia traffic today is not so great. Yeah, and like for a taxi driver, maybe just want someone who's like, you know Listening, I don't want someone talking back to me. I don't want someone maybe suggesting like, you know terrible places to go to Yeah Hey you check out this swam out the way.

Swammer. Just like Nonna used to make. And Luigi is going to suggest places like a swammer place like Nonna used to make. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas like, you know, I'm not going to get the, cause I'm thinking Mario would give me kind of real basic kind of stuff. And plus Mario would make it all about him.

He would make it about him would make it all about him he would make it about him and Mario all about him I'd be getting like a lesson of like Mario's personal history driving me and my beautiful wife Birdo we love to go to this meatball place this is where me and my wife Birdo celebrate our 25th anniversary over there over there that is where I got my first black eye over there and I'm like sure That's where I got my first black. I'm like I am not in the same taxi. I thought I am unsafe Where I'm also like Wario. He's gonna be like come on in you want a good place to get thingy I tell you right in this cab

taxi situation Wario is gonna eat my asshole Your money, your money, you don't need it Just rip my asshole Just rip me then we forget about it Yeah, I don't want to do that to Wari I just want to get to point A From point A to point B

Point A to point B at a reasonable pace And also I think he's gonna be telling me some cool things about the city That maybe would be interesting I think he's going to be telling me some cool things about the city that would be interesting. I think he would vibe it out. What do you want? You get in a taxi. You say, you know what, let's just say we're in London. I know that obviously a taxi is a terrible way to get away.

The apocalypse has happened, the roads are fine, but then humanity's rebuilt, but we've wiped out traffic. So a taxi is a fair way to get around. You're in London. You should be decent in London as well. What did you miss from the before times? Traffic yeah, yeah, yeah, so the taxi is a fair way to get around Like bread yeah I miss away the water and the food was scarce

Fuel for some reason the cannibals that They've rebuilt, but only just. Let's say you're driving around London in a cab. What do you want Luigi to tell you? Like what's the kind of things you're looking for in a taxi driver? I'll be Luigi. Well, it depends what time of day is it?

Luigi. And what is my state? Yeah. Am I, is this a, is this a 2 a.m.? It's from the, no, it's from the airport to your accommodation. Okay. Okay. How long are you planning to stay in London? Um, yeah, I think we're just gonna

Mario In London for a couple days You'd be like, yeah, okay. I'm in London for a year. You want to do anything in London? Have you met my brother Mario? Have you met my brother Mario? I can show you his house. I've been in... Sorry, sorry, I just landed. What did you say?

Did you say... Sorry, did you...what? Mario! Who's Mario? He's my brother. No, I just want to go to my hotel. not too much. Yeah Minutes 20 minutes Play nice. I show you my brother. No, no, no, we're gonna go to the hotel. You want to be the Mario?

I just if we could just go to my house Come out of the house. Yes, this is me. Yeah, this corner is perfect If you just drop me off right here, just stop showing me people you bring it to my house I'm so sorry Real good I'm so sorry, but Luigi, this is Mario. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is my brother. Yeah, it's nice. It's real good, can I just? This is my brother Mario. Mario lives in London. Mario live in London.

It's a lovely house, Mario. Mario, I know the queen. Okay, I'll take you to your house now. No, it's a hotel. Oh. I'm getting that experience. Ah. I don't know why this is so funny. Does he Mario? Mario is my brother.

I don't care dude. Look any types of photo that he's got on like the dash, this Mario. Okay if you drop him with that, after I've come out of a flight and we've got like luggage and I'm going, I just, I, and if I'm in the car and we're driving, I have to say yeah because if I drop him with that, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, I'm going to be like, oh my god, of a flight, and we've got like luggage and I'm going I just I and if I'm in the car, we're driving yeah to say yeah, because if I don't I feel like I'm gonna get Yeah, he feels like an unhinged Luigi. Yeah, and then he just normal Luigi to me I like to imagine he doesn't even get out of the car just pulls up in front of Mario's house Mario live inside Oh great, okay Let the go How far are we off the track and how much

Great trip to Mario three three to Mario my brother Living this house. It's nice Mario Mario. He live in this house. Okay, can we get to the Okay, then you're driving through the city. I'm only thinking about why we went 20 minutes out of the way You're just gonna give me Mario, his brother! You have to look at his house It really feels like Luigi is seething with jealousy That's what I'm thinking of Is Mario's house a nice house?

I'm imagining it is In most games they live together in my house too I live in that too So this taxi driver just driven me to his house. He lives with his brother. You are to come visit any time you come to my house. This is spaghetti. Me and Mario's bedroom you can sleep in.

Yeah. We make up a spaghetti. I'm just staying at the hotel though. Mario. Right, Mario live in there with me, Luigi. Yeah, like hey you're Luigi. Yeah, right. Nice to meet you, mate. Nice to meet you too. He's hey, you're Luigi. Yeah, nice to meet you

Nice to meet you too. He's red, I'm green. He's red, I'm green. That's cool. Red, green, like traffic lights I guess. Yeah, you're the go brother. You can be the yellow brother. Oh, now I'm not looking for a family right now. I need to go to my hotel. There is spare bedroom at Mario's house. Yeah, I just need to go to my hotel there. Fucked up that Luigi keeps calling it Mario's house. But he lives there too. Clearly Mario owns the property. Yeah, or maybe they both renting but in his head he just sees it as Mario's house. That's even sadder. That's even sadder. Okay, so you're driving through the city. How long are you spending here in London town? About two weeks. Anything you're going to do see the coin

Yeah, I don't think I'm important to see the Queen to be honest. Yeah, anyone can go to a graveyard. Yes. Oh, yeah good point Yeah, I don't want to see the Queen do you have any question for Luigi Oh, yeah, you know any good. I guess I'd be asking for recommendations about good places to eat. You like meatballs? I love meatballs. And spaghetti? Oh, brother. And mushrooms?

And mushrooms, yeah. Yes. Luigi, no great place. And Mario's house. I take you back to Mario. I thank you. He cook for you. Yeah, of course. Not hungry now though. Mario is good at spaghetti. I thank you back tomorrow. I thank you he cook for you Just forget that thank you to give me a number Put my bags down and go to the hotel?

You can put bags in that room Mario you cooking the spaghetti Mario was it was it was the location central no I imagine is in the country somewhere I imagine he says 10 20 minutes, but it's about 40 Very kind of you I imagine he says 10 20 minutes, but it's about 40 3 p.m. Lunch Okay My phone now my wife. Hey, I'm going to Mario's Go to the taxi driver's house for lunch. I cannot get out of this Here's my location if you don't see me

I'll maybe try this out. This will be take a photo of like the license of on the back of the taxi thing But yeah, there we go. Here's my location. I imagine your wife just takes back just a question mark Yeah I would all I yeah, I Explained it I asked for like a meatball and like what someone to eat and the guy was like my brother Mario's place He's cooking right now. He also lives there. He keeps calling his brother's house. We stopped off there once already He's turned the meter off He's talking about the spare room. I think I don't know if I'm being kidnapped. It's really hard to tell I just feel like I need to placate this man

Otherwise, I don't know Scared and but hey, I'm gonna see if I eat the meatballs first. Yeah, hope they're not poison. Anyway, good luck me How'd the spaghetti and meatballs. They gave me a mushroom. I'm big now? Question mark. London's so tiny. London's small. I'm big.

Yeah. Well, let's see. Well, if I have it on Hinge, Luigi, that's bad. That's complicated. It makes it complicated if Luigi's crazy. You. Mario. It's just like, I can't talk my way out of that.

No. Oh yeah. Well, you can't talk. The thing with a taxi driver, and any personal driver of any variety, if they decide you're going somewhere, Yeah, you're in the car! You got no say, they are the one behind the wheel. Yeah, exactly. And you know, unless you're gonna, you know, jump out,

which I don't think you're gonna do. And also they can stop and be like, why'd you jump out of the car? Yeah, exactly. They can put all my luggage in the car. Why'd you jump out? It's? Yeah exactly My luggage is in why you jump out We're not even at Maddie The red shirt

Why you know want to come see a Mario Go to the hotel is like's go see my brother Mario. I'm like, okay. You know, like in a realistic situation where I'm in a taxi, a man says, hey, my brother. Like some part of me is like, this is a coin flip between skinned and killed. Yes.

Or like a crazy story to tell down the track. Where I had like the best spaghetti and meatballs of my life at this random Italian guys brother's house The question be like oh, you know as you're driving It'd be like the whole like I'm looking like you did a lot loves me a maple is one my favorite meals like well Yeah, my brother he make of them best way Yeah, you know like you want that you wanna you want to go visit my mother by the Mario make a best of meatballs I'll be like yeah, okay, but um not right now. Yeah

I'll be like, yeah, okay, but not right now. Give me your number or something. And if this is happening, if it goes to the no, no, I insist, then I'm like, I'm being murdered. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm being murdered. Absolutely. That's a murder house and I'm gonna get skinned and we'll go away.

I'm the meatballs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The meatballs are my testicles. But also with this kind of Luigi, I'd be nervous to exchange information because I imagine I'm in my hotel later that night And he's just sending me photos of the meatballs How far away I'm not coming tonight, oh, I'm not gonna give him my number

I'm not coming tonight. Oh, well, I'm not gonna give him my number I'm just gonna take his Oh, sad face Please let me out of this Mario cooks so much meatball though Mario really excited to meet you Every photo of Mario, Mario is like Stop, what are you doing? Don't take photos of Luigi

I know, we come to you I know where I drop you off, I come bring you meatballs Okay And Mario meet your wife Now I'm like, well, they're bringing us me. Yeah, why does he meet my wife? Like to meet your wife you meet my. I meet your wife fair deal family I guess if you said like yeah, I guess if meet your family. I was talking about my family. That's true My wife is just too specific Yeah, I don't know this whole situation feels weird is we

You're right to feel it. It's peculiar. I might be like, oh yeah, yeah, I'll meet you there. Hon, we need to move hotels now. Yeah, absolutely. I think what would be crazy is you go there and like it's Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, cause it's like four guys dressed really similarly. Eating meatballs, you'd be like, is this a cult? Like what?

Meatball cult? A meatball cult? You're all taxidermies? No, we are plumbers. Like what? A meatball cult? You're all taxi drivers? No, we are plumbers Sometimes we drive car to get hit by turtle shells And you're uh, you pick me up on a taxi

I'm a little edgy I'm Wario I run uh Oh actually Wario does run a taxi He does, that's true Wario has a taxi, god damn Wario runs the taxi thing in Wario The run a taxi. He does, that's true. Wario has a taxi. God damn. Wario runs the taxi thing in WarioWare. He did taxi service, yeah. I am making a video game and I run a taxi service.

Yeah, we do Wario's taxi service. So you're just driving through... He's my boss. He's your boss? I'm glad you get to meet Wario. You meet my brother Mario. You meet my boss Wario. You meet my boss's friend, Waluigi.

He's like Just like he is evil version of me. Oh, I see just twirling up that spaghetti Got it holding it to your mouth making sure everybody else is eating theirs before you eat yours Yes, he is like me, but he has the darkness And the Mario is like that for Mario. Hmm. So you're I'm Mario you're the good what's in good version? Good Mario. This is bad Mario I your wario so you'll be well, you'll be good warrior then no wrong Why do you're bad Mario? I good Mario? Yeah. Yeah, but you could look at it like you was spectrum of Mario Not spectrum of wario. Yeah, but you could look at it like you a good Mario.

It is spectrum of Mario, not spectrum of Wario. I know, but you could look at it from a Wario perspective. Wah! He's just inhaling this spaghetti meatballs. So like, I'm not doing dishes! He goes and watches TV. So he runs a taxi company and you are a plumber. Okay, so the worst you are a plumber.

Okay, so the worst version of a plumber is- Sometimes I save it to Princess. Yeah. Princess. Like, sometimes I fight the monster or whatever. Okay. Monster like- Monster like, you ask a lot of questions. I mean, I know, but we know like Princess like,

yeah, what's her name? No, not Kate. Not Kate. Peach. No not Kate. Not Kate Peach. My friend Peach. My friend Peach she's not coming tonight I don't know why. She's busy she's at the castle. She's at the castle with her. You're a royalist? Yeah I believe in the monarchy well I don't really care she's kind of my wife. So you're a- But we're not married, this is complicated I guess. So you're like a king. Oh, oh, oh, oh! As Wario just watching TV.

Are you like a queen consort or something? Yeah, I'm something. A plumber. And then Luigi leans over, that Mario. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Luigi, I got it, I got it, I got it. He is my brother. Yeah, he's your brother. Mario.

So I just, yeah, I understand. That is Mario, he's my brother. When you say that Wario is a bad version of you, what do you mean? Look at him. Look I have M, you see, on my hat, and he have a W, which is a flip M. And Luigi got an L for Luigi, and while Luigi got a sort of a fucked up Tetris piece't be like upside down L. Well shouldn't upside down L must be like a T. No, that's not no Why Luigi not why Luigi? That's what happens if my brother fall in a bomb Like a 2-EG

He's a while Luigi, okay We should just be like a 2eg Like a 2eg? You ask a lot of questions He's a Waluigi, okay? You're coming to my table Ask a bunch of fucking questions I'm just making conversation Waluigi's being like, please don't He's talking about me like I'm not here These are great meeples, thank you for your hospitality

Thank you very much Mario make it the best meatball He is my brother So glad you got to meet my toys house. You're just Mario Mario Mario live together, huh? No Yes, no Exchange a glance. I don't know what the fuck that means I live with my brother Mario. So Mario and Luigi live together in Waluigi. Yeah, Waluigi's got an apartment in the city. Yeah, and they're your friends. And you're working for Mario? Yeah, he's out of Boston. you're both working for no no no no I'm a plumber You're a driver taxi for Mario and Mario under the taxi and the waluigi is Wario's good friend

I understand that so you're but we're not very good friends with waluigi He's a sort of weird guy Yeah, well we all get together, you know. And sometimes Luigi... He brings a friend over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody he had just met. Yeah, I come from...

I only find out about it, you know. Sorry, I... 20 minutes before. Yeah, nah, I was gonna just have have dinner with them To me that my brother Mario yeah, yeah, he's very this matter He's very insistent. Yeah, he's a strange little guy Very much for coming. Zama Yeah, me too. Can I... can I...

Luigi, can you drop me off at the home? No, I'm finished work. I can call you a taxi. That'd be great. Okay. That'd be great. I'm leaving. I'll take you home.

Get into the taxi. But it's not a taxi. It's his piece of shit car. We're just to make a one stop Are you familiar with red light district? Only to get these back a sock First I either the meatball then I get to my peck of the sock and then I take a you know How about is there like? Wait, is there like a train station? Just a move at the toilet seat. I'm as you got a bunch of toilet parts in here cool I'm a building a toilet. Yeah, of course. They haven't perfected it yet

What do you figure it out? Are you gonna like in the in the in the car or is it? No, I'll move it to my work get in the car car! I'm in the car I'm in the car! And then you have a horrible... Yeah. Hey hon. The car rings of garlic. Hey hon I'm off to the red light district. I guess I will. In London. I don't know. Here's my location. Here's a photo but the photo is not syrup tissue. It's just Wario giving me the thumbs up. Hey Wario can I take a photo for my photos this is not syrup dishes just warrior giving you the thumbs up hey hey warrior yeah yeah I know very nice thanks what I meet your wife and the car to the hotel. We've got a young kid. Can you be quiet though? No!

Wario's great with kids. Wario has won the volume. This. How about I look? I'm sure she's got some friends. Okay. Supplicate you there. Yeah. It's been a wild night for you I don't know how yeah afternoon because it was 3 p.m. 1 so it's not 430 p.m. Oh chat lag

Why you know you acquiesce to so much and it's just so jet-lagged It's like 5 p.m. And you're falling asleep in the back of Wario's taxi and then hey wake up. It's like 6 a.m Why is there a toilet back here? You're in a mall somewhere We went to the mall You say more than mall More, M-O-O-R What? M-O-O-R?

Yeah, M-O-O-R, come on you're in England like we all are for some reason What do you mean by why are we in a mall more? Why do you get? I don't know. I don't know why we here I'm hungry for a more What the fuck is a more just as a concept You're killing me what's that say dude seed dude? Nothing hill. Oh no fucking My life did not go the way I wanted it to me. Why'd you bring me here? Oh fucking no I'm fucked up. I'm a fucked up guy. Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. Where do you want? Where you want to go? You want me to drive you some I'm 40 years old 40 driving a taxi. I'm nearly 40

You don't look you got a beautiful wife and a kid Wario got nothing you got you said you make video games and you have a video games suck Company in the hole Luigi keep bringing people back to the house Yeah, maybe you should stop him doing that. Yeah Have you thought talking? So many meeting with HR keep telling me that Mario is his brother Yeah, he seems to have a lot is true. He is his brother. So seems to have a bit of an inferiority complex there

No, he just loves his brother Mario He just loves his brother Mario He's like the good version of me that eats me up in a song. He got a princess. I don't have a princess Yeah, I have a bed that is a couch You can get a bed, dude. No They would let me into the mattress me into the mattress because of what I do to the mattress. I try out the mattress. I leave a bigger wire or stain on the mattress because I'm so greasy. I smell of garlic. I was gonna say you do smell of garlic. Well it's in those traditional part of Italian cuisine. Yeah and then I love to eat the cloves all like not cooked yeah just like an apple yeah yeah it's delicious like you you peel it though no skin and all is good for you but I'm not

gonna have it feels like you're happy with your life no wrong wrong I hate on my life but I'm happy with the garlic there are some bits are good the only time I know true happiness is when I button to the garlic I want to make a love to a beautiful anus Anyway car out of petrol so we got a war okay Thankfully that okay, let's walk there. I'm glad that's where that conversation was going That's wonderful Take me to my hotel my wife again, I'm so worried about me. I'm so worried about me Please let me go home

I know location services are on that drains the battery. So please I want to go Well, how do you rate Luigi? Yeah, I'm Scared I'm scared life changer life changing. I'm worried. I don't know where I am right now They took advantage of a jet lag man. That's on them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they did that I don't know where my luggage is now I guess I'm wheeling it to the hotel was from a mall Or is it in Mario's house? Yeah, I guess we can the spare rooms where it is The spare room gone It's empty yeah, hopefully nothing was there that I needed nobody's lived in a house for the last ten years

Wow, this is good now. There's a mystery Everybody's lived in that house for the last 10 years. Wow, this is good. Now there's a mystery. There's layers to this extended roof. I have the location and I have a lot of photos. Do you? Look at the photos. You go inside and you look,

and there's only on the floor of the empty kitchen, there's a Polaroid and you pick it up and it's like the end of a Mario party where everybody's going like, giving a peace sign to the camera. Am I in the photo? And it's just thank you for playing. Yeah a peace sign to the camera. Yeah It's also got like the ending of the shine

1998 But with like one of those Mario Party group shots Just zam it in there like what is going on? That's so funny So with ride share the traditionally you score it out of five stars I don't One is a low jingers one two three four five Yeah, I just feel like I'm gonna give it five stars because I'm fearful if I give it anything else Yeah, I'll go for you there. They won't know I give it a one star. I'm gonna get a like my phone will start ringing Yeah, I don't know if I give a five star Thank you

Luigi can pick you up from the more thank you to your idea. Oh you want to ride again great time. Did you Luigi can pick you up from the more? Thank you to my brother He's Mario Remember when you met the Mario you want to again? again, um Get to like the star music and then then then then then then then then then then you become invincible when you give me a five stars Yeah, five stars great spirits life changing. Yeah Life changing, got to experience so many wonderful, you gotta get out of London, is what I'm hearing.

Get back on that plane, brother. Yeah, yeah, maybe this is what, hey, this is what jet lag is doing. Exactly, yeah, the rest of your trip's normal. Uneventful, pleasant. Yeah. How was your trip to London? So I got into a taxi. Dude, jet lag is a kill.

I don't know, I got, like, this is a, this is a Polaroid I have. You see this? You see these guys? Thank you for playing. Thank you for playing. So this is the only thing that I have. Anyway, so I leave the airport and I get into a taxi and the guy is he's like he's like a little guy he's wearing ovals strange but he's green

interesting whatever as we're driving he's like hey do you want to go to my mate like my mate sorry my friend Mario yeah okay I keep saying no I don't really want to and then we get into the conversation of like well you're getting kidnapped yeah so I guess conversation of like you know what you're doing you're running I'm saying like well, like, you know, where's like, you know He mentions like, you know some meatballs spaghetti I say how much I love spaghetti without even finishing the sentence The guy's a u-turn. He's like he got a Mike my brother Mario makes the best me. Yeah, yeah And I realize right now I'm either gonna get kidnapped. Yeah, or I'm gonna experience some great meatballs

Yeah, right now I mean can not in control of this Or like really you've other things involved like I have friend I just try to placate the situation Sure, so I'm like ice going to friend mode and Well, there we go They were delicious. They were in crowd meatballs, but that word ends. No what so he goes there I and there's another guy that his brother. Yeah, he's a little bit shorter than this guy's name is Luigi's Mario He's brother Mario. Yeah, he's wearing like a red like the same kind of uniform, but red that's weird and then it's like But then his boss is also there. Who's boss? Luigi's boss.

What? Because Luigi drives. Luigi's the taxi driver. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. His boss, Wario, who kept saying, I am bad Mario. Like, he's employee's brother. Was he also wearing overalls? Yeah, but they were yellow.

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then he's just friend who they all seem to hate. Who kept being like, he's the bad version of Luigi. And look on him, Luigi kinda sucked. But he was the bad version of Luigi. And look on, Luigi kinda sucked. But he was the bad version of Luigi. Is that a really strange house? Yeah, he was in like purple overalls.

Was there anyone else there? No. Okay. Were they related? So they were brothers, like Mario and Luigi. Yeah. I think maybe Wario is either a brother or a cousin or something.

It was not really established. Wasn't clear? Yeah. Wasn't clear. That's weird. But they were't clear but it was Luigi's boss yeah and then they were one um this guy's friend yeah and uh anyway uh so we meatballs incredible delicious uh it seems this guy Luigi he kept the week he just does this oh Mario seems pretty cut uh-huh he kept bringing a really awkward dinner it was a little bit yeah so anyway i was

like well you know we were like i think i kind of was vibing with Mario, even though very lovely hospitable guy, but he was like, you know, hey, he didn't want me there. Well, he wouldn't want me there. He just seemed kind of pissed off that like Luigi gave him no notice. I understand him. So then I'm like, all right, well, time to go. We both, me and my, we look at Luigi, and we're like, all right, time to go. Yeah, he's bored, yeah. And then Luigi just is like, well, I'm off work now. What? And that's when, I know, I'm like, well, I gotta, you know, I gotta, what? But he drove you there. I thought, did he take you off the air at any point?

No, he just kept being like, I'm gonna take the other 10 meter off. And I was like, what? What the hell, man? And then, and then, and then, then like the boss so the guy who owns all He's like well, you know, I'll come I'll drive you home. Yeah, it's like, okay cool Did he take you home? In a way. What? It's like a piece of shit car. Yeah, get in there. There is like a half-built toilet in the back I need to explain this toilet because like the guy was like we had we as in like Humanity humanity hadn't figured out toilets yet

And you've got in the car after you heard or did he say this where you're already in the car I was I was getting into the car and there was a toilet there. I'm like, what is this? And huh, I got some photos. I would show you the photos of this toilet because like I know what he's doing. There's pipes, there's way more pipes than I think you'd need. That's crazy. I think he wanted to refine it. Anyway, but then he's like first-

Was he a plumber? No, he makes video games. He's a game dev and he also owns a company, like a taxi company. Anyway, Anyway, so as a guy also the guy smelled like like a lot of garlic that's relevant because The motherfucker eats garlic like it's an apple. Did you what? Yeah. What the fuck man? He doesn't peel them He just bites. Yeah, like like a whole bowl. Did he at least take you home? Eventually, so firstly he's like you're familiar with the red light district. Okay in London

Did you end up going to the red light? Yeah, okay This man gets flopped off. You're the watch. He was very insistent Jesus dude anyway, call the police long story short. We end up I try long story short we end up in a mall Yeah, yeah, and then I Wario starts kiss like having basically like a D&M And I think he tells me his whole life story basically how he's like basically like what Mario how everyone calling you like a good Version of him that would fuck you up Fuck them up a lot. I would fuck you up. I'm like, well, what's the what's the wrong and he's like, well, I'll keep you know Well, he's my guy's got a princess. Oh, yeah. Mario is like married to a princess, but not like a princess. We know

Yeah, okay. So not like no not Kate Kate or Princess die. No, she's dead Since when? I don't know, man. I gotta call someone. No, Jesus. Hello, mom? I just heard some terrible news.

Yeah, this is like again, and like, because once again, I'm worried that I'm still going to, I guess I have been kidnapped. Yeah, you still have. I'm still worried this is going to be a situation where they're gonna get me drunk and I'm going to get my liver taken. Yeah, absolutely.

And I was getting, I was very kind of cautious watching everyone eat drunk and I'm going to get my liver taken. Yeah, absolutely. I was getting, I was very kind of cautious watching everyone eat meatballs and making sure that they're not gonna poison you or something. What happened in the mall? Anyway, so this guy, yeah, so why are you, he's laying it on thick. He's like, man, you know, it's only like, you know, I'm like, mate, it seems like a lot of your problems kind of stem from you. Yeah.

And like, cause it seems like, ah, the taxi company's in the hall and man, like, I don't know. He sounds like a man who doesn't have his life. He doesn't. It's like, so I'm like, mate taxi companies in the hall and mad like I don't know like a man It doesn't have his life. Yeah, like so I'm like, hey, what's the problem? It's like I stink so bad Yeah, they do smell like garlic. Yeah. Well, like you know, if you thought about not eating guys much garlic and he's like No, I could never brings me the right is the problem. Yeah. Yeah He's like garlic brings me the greatest joy ever that making love to an anus Whoa? Really like I was stressed. I was already stressed. Yeah, we've gone from a 10. What time was this? This was like I want to say like 3 a.m. Oh my god. You're a more 3 a.m. Yeah

So that's what I was like say why you're at a mall no No, he's just like I was a bit of ground or a hill. This is what I mean. You got out of it. Okay, though. Hey, let's go home. Yeah, I got to my hotel. He's like, cars out of petrol.

What? We got to walk. My God. So there we are. I got my luggage behind me. He's taken my carry on and we're walking from a mall. I don't know where the fuck we were Yeah, and and we end up finally getting home after like what there's several hour trek Jesus, dude

Anyway, that's crazy. How was the rest of the trip? So anyway, yeah this photo So I was like this is fucked up. Yeah, there was some other things. I mean I think I left them They're like they spare and that's fair. Yeah, okay sure sure went back to like Gives them my money. Yeah, my feet your facts. Yeah House was empty what what house fucking empty dude the neighbor comes to me is like no one has lived in this house Fucking No one has lived in task I go in go in the house, it's empty. There's no kitchen, there's nothing there.

Literally nothing there. Everything is in disrepair. I don't know. In a day, they got out of the house. Was there anything there? This fucking photo. And that's just thanks for playing. Your trip to London was crazy.

Was this like some sort of ARG or some shit? Yeah, I don't know. Alternative reality game maybe? Is it like a fucked up flash mob? I would say don't go back to London. Don't go back long. Anyway, I got my effects. What happened that evening? I got no answers for you.

I can't help you brother. Sounds like a crazy trip. Anyway, yeah. Rest of the trip, uneventful. I guess, yeah. Did the regular things you do in London. Yeah, nice. Yeah, nice.

Yeah, it was nice. So the Thames. Yeah, lovely. Good river. Actually, no, Thames sucks. Yeah, it's fucking a Thames. The moor though. If you want to go to a moor,

I would love to go to a moor. Was 3 a.m. the right time to go? I don't think of any other time you could have gone to a moor. Yeah, wow. Okay, the moon glistens off a moor. I would love to go to a moor. Was 3 a.m. the right time to go? I don't think of any other time you could have gone to a moor. Yeah, wow. Okay, the moon glistens off the moor. You can see the stars shining so brightly. There's something really beautiful about a moor.

Sounds like you're coming around on this crazy day. Like you have to, right? Yeah, 3 a.m., looking at a moor while a guy, and he kept being like, I'm 40 years old and my life is shit. Man, this motherfucker had they hit his 40 Yeah, that's a rough He had when he says his life had fallen apart like believe him. Yeah, like you need to

Wow, they were not doing well He's probably more death than you know Yeah, but there's something like I know this egg say something quite beautiful and really puts his life into perspective when this man who is just like Really giving it all to kind of a guy. He just met yeah about how much his life is falling apart I like these love of garlic and yeah, yeah, maybe it's like one of those things that is meant to happen I know not like hearing that bouncing off basically like you know the beautiful scenery that is this morning Yeah, yeah, yeah, I really put your life into perspective and being like I've got it this morning. Yeah, yeah. It sounds kind of like a very special experience. It really puts your life into perspective. I've got it pretty good.

Yeah, fine. Yeah, it was really easy. And then five stars you gave him? Five stars, man. Oh, you got him. What an experience. Well, I guess you got a story out of it. Yeah, exactly.

And a photo. A mysterious photo. Mysterious. Cause I don't remember taking this photo. I don't know. There's like other guys in this photo. Who are they? Who is this guy?

I don't know. It's like a... You should contact the police. A pink lizard with a hole for a mouth. I mean like a big hole for a mouth. No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should contact the police. Anyway.

Anyway. How was my trip to London? Yeah. Sounds crazy. Sounds really wild. I think the best taxi driver would be Donkey Kong cause apes don't talk. So you don't need to make small talk.

Apes also don't drive. Yeah. Probably teach an ape to drive. Tip an ape to teach an ape to drive Cuz apes don't talk. Yeah, you don't need to make small Ape to drive to be able to teach an ape to drive and you don't have to drive anywhere Drive an ape Teach them to drive and you don't have to drive a day in your life Yeah, exactly You drive an ape for a day the ape gets where it's going you teaching ape to drive while you're going everywhere all the time Without driving exactly

I'm because the apes in charge. Yeah, I feel like Donkey Kong would be really good at maneuvering through traffic Yes, because the donkey Kong ain't gonna respect like you know human laws Yeah, exactly, and it's just gonna do what he wants and you're gonna get to where I think But here's the thing if you say to Donkey Kong take me to Big Ben Yeah, just Donkey Kong know what you're saying Well, don't you don't take you where he wants to go? I would say that Donkey Kong probably does understand despite the fact he can't communicate He wears a tie and he follows the rules of a Mario Party. That's true. That's a good point

He understands what the dice do. Yeah Yeah, I think with Donkey Kong though eyes I imagine him like really hunched up on the steering wheel getting pissed off at traffic I think if we're in London I can't imagine Donkey Kong being a good taxi driver there or I can see him thriving in New York City Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah me too. I guess because he's from New Donk City. Yeah, of course, of course or jungle japs I feel like it would be like a similar kind of vibe, you know, it's all the concrete jungle. Yeah, exactly. The congestion of like say New York, quite similar to congestion of London.

Yeah, absolutely. No conversation, which is nice. He might make little noises and you can just pay him in banana. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and he goes, ooh, banana. Yeah. Noise does that. His stereo, I guess. You pay him and he turns up his stereo Yeah, I think a different Kong might be like a funky Kong might have been a better

Tank I've a tanky dog here. Plus it we yammering dude. Yeah, and if we play in the music too loud Yeah, you know, it'd be Americana by the offspring in full one repeat. Yeah, absolutely Yeah, did he come to younger dry same with Dixie? Yeah, kitty. Yeah chunky Kong Probably be alright, but I think he's pretty stupid cranky Kong. I just be like to yeah to all like a Kong orangutan driver yeah, wacky. Yeah arms too long. He sits in the back To wacky. Yeah, oh, it's too long. He sits in the back

Yes, he will be driving with his feet like he can't gives me the vibes like he's got a bunch of food in the car Yeah, he's driving with his feet and he's using his hands to suck down soda and shit Yeah, don't you can't just eat in a banana or smoke a cigarette? Yeah, you're like, you're not getting advice of where to go You know, well granted he's not taking to his brother Anything's better He's not taking to his brother I'm scared now that I fall asleep in the cab and wake up in jungle jade Yeah, I think that's the risk is that Donkey Kong he might under my take me back to Donkey Kong country Yeah, you're in Donkey Kong country now be like the music playing is gonna be like the beautiful sounds of the jungle Boop boop boop it'll be like the classic Donkey Kong Country music kind of nice lullaby relaxing. Yeah, Donkey Kong Country music is good Yeah, yeah, it's relaxing. It's relaxing. Do do do and then you fall asleep

I would like you've done this twice now. Just yeah, can you just give me how? Okay, cuz you really wanted to sing the Donkey Kong Country music you don't back yourself enough to do it. It's like buh buh buh buh Uh-huh, uh-huh do do do do do yeah is it I don't think so some of those notes will appear in some Kong, what about that? Yeah, I'll paint it as a DK rap. DK, Donkey Kong is here. That's not what you were trying to say, but you did save it.

You're absolutely right. It isn't what I was trying to say. Yeah. Is it a risk to fall asleep or wake up somewhere that you don't wanna go? I also do feel like the Donkey Kong, I don't think you'll get into full on accidents, but I feel like there'll be a lot of side swiping

and people- Yeah, I think Donkey Kong's gonna have real bad road rage. I think Donkey Kong you'll get into like full-on accidents, but I feel like there'll be a lot of side swiping and people Yeah, well, I think I think don't you can have real bad road rage Yeah, I think Donkey Kong's gonna get pissed off if he's caught in traffic is capable of throwing the car like a barrel Yeah, he might get so pissed off. He gets out of the car picks up the car throws the car Like he wants to get ahead of the queue. Yeah, it's kind of easy to imagine that how I don't know how like physically possible but to throw a car you're already in Yes, you can imagine him doing that he would try and maybe like he reaches down and grabs under his seat And then suddenly he's got the car on top of his head. Yeah, and you're like what? And then you are flung I hate London Yeah, yeah, I can just see him getting pissed and sort of his nostrils

flaring and then you're sitting in the back maybe he's got the music too loud you wanted to turn it down but you're too scared because you know he might flip out on you and then I feel like I'm getting overstimulated in the back seat because the music's so loud I'm also scared and his nostrils are flaring yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. Flying out of the car. Yeah. It could be a vicious loop, you know, like he's like, you know, egging you on, you egging him on. Yeah, suddenly you're both beating your chest at each other. Ape and out. It's a King Kong situation. Yeah, he beats his chest, you beat yours.

He's like, thinks that's a threat. You think it's a threat. And then suddenly you're both. And then he does his wind up punch from Smash Brothers and then punches my head clean off. Yeah, exactly. And I die tragically in the middle of London. I was trying to name a street. A single location. Oh, a street, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I die tragically in the middle of London. I was trying to name a

location Holborn stage. Yeah, that's a station not a street. It's probably a station. It's probably a whole moon Street Mmm, I would imagine main street, but it's not Piccadilly Fair. Yeah, nice It's not too bad though Donkey Kong aside from the fact that he's an ape and I punch my head and my punch your head clean off But once you get past that like you get past the fear of an ape drive Yeah, like they're just basic like normal fear that you should have maybe he drives in a way where I also feel Rather than being in a fake taxi like Wario. I think I'm a little bit in crazy taxi

Yeah, I'm probably going four stars because I was like a bit scared. Yeah Donkey Kong knows the road rules? Yeah. I mean, he knows enough to know like, you know. If he can learn board game rules, he can learn road rules. Yeah, okay. That's fair. That's fair.

That's a bold claim by me. No, no. Like board game rules have some like, you know, some kind of like, you know, esoteric kind of bullshit. And if you roll this mini and you go to this shop, you can roll a second time Donkey Kong. Exactly. And your second roll, the number is your coins.

Yeah. It's not just even a roll. He's also got to learn mini games. Yeah, exactly. You can roll a second time Donkey Kong. And your second roll, the number is your coins. Yeah, it's not just even a roll. He's also got to learn mini games. So he's learning the board games, the mini games. He's learning about having to pay coins to block off a path. He's learning a lot already. You can figure out your basic rules. You can put your four stars for Donkey Kong?

I think I'm going to pick King Boo. He's gone. Well, yeah, it's also proof of the afterlife. That's true. You get it. He's not gonna disappear cause you're always looking at him. Yeah, he goes, ah, he does this like King Boo laugh. But you're staring at him.

And I'm like, hey, when I die, you know, there's something, something next. When you kill a Goomba in Mario, it doesn't turn into a Boo. Well, you don't see it. Yeah. That's just not instantaneous. Yeah, exactly.

Like the Boo's, the Boo's maybe that,ze maybe that Goomba didn't have any unfinished business Exactly. The booze were people. Yeah, the booze were people once. Were they? Or were they born a boo? Are they born from a boo pussy? I don't think you're born a boo Let me just imagine boo pussy real quick Far out Dude that's fucked up Tangible. Well are they tangible? They're tangible sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I think. Far out. Dude that's fucked up. Tangible.

Well are they tangible? They're tangible sometimes. Yeah yeah yeah. Isn't there a boo with a boo in it in Mario 64? What do you mean? A big boo you jump on it and then it's got another boo inside. Oh there's a boo in a boo? You say that boo's pregnant?

Pregnant boo? You jump on an unborn boo? It's a pregnant boo theory. Jump on a pregnant boo theory. And when you jump on that unborn boo? No but iters pregnant boo theory. And when you jump on that unborn boo, like that's what you're doing. No, but it's alive. I know it's alive. No, but it's in like, it's sentient.

Do you say boos give birth by getting jumped on? Yeah. Are you saying that like in Dune, that boos give like, you know, they're the embryos are like pre-born? I think what I'm saying is that boos procreate. Did I get a boo pregnant? Yeah. Cause after I learned about boo pussy is that what you think? That's awesome. So yeah I don't know if booze are proof of

the afterlife or if just ghosts are real but then they're just a separate guy. That's really disappointing because I would be I kind of was hoping that when I die I could become a boo. Yeah I would assume if you see boo. Yeah. I'd be like oh god we'd be booze. Yeah yeah. We'd be boo's when we die. When we die, we become boo's. Yeah. I die, I'm a Mario. That would be my assumption.

If someone looks at me, I'm like, eh. Well, I guess, does King Boo have a crown? Yeah. What's he the king of? Boo. Ghosts? Yeah. Yeah.

I guess you could ask him why the king. Well, I don't know. I think there's maybe something sort of sad about a monarch who's become a taxi driver. Yeah, but then you could ask him questions about it. Donkey Kong is the king why the well, I don't know. I think this may be something sort of sad about a monarch who's become a taxi driver. Yeah, but then you could ask him questions about it. Donkey Kong is the king of the jungle. So it's a second monarch in that situation. And yeah, and Mario is maybe a king Kong.

He's certainly married to a princess. Yeah, well, I guess I could ask the Bua could be like, hey man. Cause Luigi is like what? Prince? No, he's like he's- Prince in law? Yeah, he's like the queen consorts brother.

Yeah, not that important. There's not a title there. But yeah, I could ask the Boo, I could be like, hey man, what did you do in life? I was born like this. Or he'll go, ah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! What's so funny?

You laughing at me? It is hard to do a Boo laugh. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ah-hoo! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Yeah, well that's disappointing. That was my whole reason for picking Boo. and also King Boo doesn't have hands or feet We don't move

And then he just disappears and you're just stuck in the back seat of a taxi with the meters just Yeah, boo's born well, so you know Was King Boo a human and this is again, this is who knows is probably a fandom thing Yeah, sure it is from villains dot fandom.com Okay, the very first sentence for King Boo is King Boo and Bowser are one in the same person King boo if I'm like so man, what who were you in life? Big lizard the turtle King Bowser Bowser's dead What the fuck's How about that Mario? Jesus Christ. I wonder if when Bowser becomes dry bones Bowser then his soul, it's like a Kingdom Hearts thing of like splitting his body. Oh yeah, his bones become dry bones.

King Boo is his ghost. That's crazy. Can you just Google is King Boo Bowser please? Yeah, cause what the hell? Cause I feel like that that can't be right That's fucking insane. Well, because then he becomes Bowser again Also, they're both in the fucking I guess in Mario and Dr. Mario in most of the same games. Yeah, that's true a Mario card That's crazy. You can play his Bowser is you can play his Bowser's meat Bones or it's good Stand because I'm guessing like, you know, how the internet now has become terrible. Yeah. And so basically like you're googling whatever and it's like, okay, and here's just a lie or something someone had a big think about.

Yeah, okay. And now it's like, never appearance once in a game. So is King Boo Bowser is King Boo and Bowser one of the same? After his death, Bowser turns into a ghost, namely Boo, but still has some of his magic powers, which allowed him to bow boos to his will. Then he recreates his body or creates a very similar mech to inhabit it King what is that from where is that from King boo is what is talking about boo and bows are in the same games But even like in the same like yes in my super mario 64 King boo and Bowser are both in that game This might just be some house are a bit terrible kind of fan theory

But I'm like why is that when you Google it? Yeah, why is that shouldn't be easily debunked by just thinking of one game though? Yeah, I'm going to King Boo Let's go to the history of King Boo on the Mario wiki, which seems like gonna be a better Prior to the events of Luigi's Mansion King Boo somehow freed Boulosus well Well fuck me I guess you know what I don't know I thought Mario was safe I was wrong Yeah, that's made me who the fuck is Boulosus. I've played Luigi's manage. Oh wait The losses like the big boom Yeah, losses like the big boom yeah losses losses ah you don't have enough coins King boo says boo to you and

goodbye that's a quote from King Boo Mario Party 8 that's what he says to me when I don't have enough money in the taxi yeah yeah apparently there's a Bowser suit somewhere look okay scare me what a Bowser suit I think you said stimming I'm just stimming dude Do you want to hear my favourite King Boo quote? Yeah Hehehehe I saw the Alpine downhill event of yours yesterday

Looks like you need to take a lesson in speed from me And that lesson starts today I challenge you to an Alpine downhill match Hehehe from Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games Yeah that's good That's a classic King Boo quote Yeah, he says that all the time. He's always saying that he says a lot of shit, dude I tell you what is he always just like get good basically dude. No, he's got there's like a fucking million words here

He's laughing at Luigi Jesus Christ You picked a bad cab driver. Was King Boo his first appearance was in Luigi's Mansion. Yeah Interesting. No well then I'm wrong cuz he then that means that he's not in Super Mario 64 Yeah, we just mentions after that. Yeah, there's like again going maybe I'm just thinking of a big boo. Yeah Yeah, yeah, big boo's a different guy. He's in Super Mario 64 DS He's he's in that game cuz here it says King Boo has been shown to work with Bowser on numerous occasions So he can't be Bowser's ghost especially numerous occasions. You can't work with your own ghost. Unless it's like well that's why they're saying maybe he was

reconstructed somehow and the Bowser we see at a certain point is not actually Bowser but a meat suit. That would be a very fucked up timeline fuck-up thing if somehow your ghost ended up existing at the same time as you and you befriended them. I always thought it would be great to get my meat bones and ghosts separate so we could just sort it out. Dry Jackson, King Jackson, and Jackson. And we could just figure out what the fuck is going on. You know, could finally talk to my bones. Like, hey, what the hell are you doing in there, dude?

Why do you get achy sometimes? And the bones would be like, take that up with me, dude. Yeah, don't see me. Got nothing to do with me. That's meat Jackson's problem. But then you're not meat Jackson, cause Jackson skin Jackson. Yeah, meet Jackson's like just have a pile He's got no bones. Yeah, meet Jackson's are you goombas? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah skin muscle Jackson If goombas aren't in my body nine, I'm gonna crack this shit. They will be

Yeah fucking Goombas they're funny. Maybe a goomba would be a good taxi driver. Yeah, fucking. Goombas, they're funny. Maybe a Goomba would be a good taxi driver. Yeah. Doesn't say shit. Doesn't say shit. Can't reach the pedals. Has no hands.

Funny to look at. Funny to look at. Maybe it was like one of those towers from Mario Odyssey. Yeah. Still they can't do shit. Yeah, they can't do shit, no hands. Oh no, because one could be on the pedals. One, like using their mouth to steer.

Yeah, yeah. The tower of Goombas, perfect driver. Perfect driver, you know. drivers what's wrong with it one on the dash so we can see what's happening they look dashing in a hat yeah exactly exactly you can imagine I'm talking with like a New York accent hey get in you know that's nice I think you want that yeah yeah yeah in London but yeah yeah, we are in London. Who's the most British Mario character? Oh, yeah Alright, I like gain Toad he's adopted the ax maybe an army of toads is the best option. Yeah army. I mean Six six toads to drive you can just like filling up the front half of the cab really ones on the pedals one

Yeah, yeah ones, you know, I am cuz you got a couple of toes to put your luggage in. One throw it in the back, being like, You having a good time? What do you want to see? Wanna go visit my friend Mario? He's my brother. I work for Peach. I work for Peach, he's my brother. Just trying to get home.

No! You shouldn't have come back. Home, I'm gonna miss. London come back! And I'm gonna miss- London will kill you! I'm gonna miss the flight. At a certain point it's on you! Ahahahahahah! Yeah.

Yeah, I think that's most likely scenario. Yeah, well on that note, I've been Joe. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joe. Thanks for playing! Yeah, thanks for playing. Thank you for playing! Um, yeah.

Don't get in a cab in London. Consider this a warning. It can go really wrong. Bye! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH SH