Plumbing the Death Star - Which Ray Would Make the Best Ray? with Matt Stewart

Episode Date: August 2, 2026

Another week another beautiful topic suggested by a beautiful Bad Brain Boys subscriber. This time it's the beautiful Kevin_ whomst wants us to answer the very enigmatic question of which ray is the best ray? Now, did he mean ray as in an x-ray or freeze-ray like something out of a silver age comic that either came from or could have possibly hit a Superman? Or was he thinking of guys named Raymond, had a ponder about which one was good and wanted his three idiot internet friends weigh in? Either way we bought in self-proclaimed ray expert, Matt Stewart to help us answer such a baffling question. We're off to a great start when JD cannot comprehend Kevin_ because he's so full of pizza, Jacksom showcases his best trick by correctly predicts the future, Zammit thinks the most important thing is to show a united front and Matt just wants to ray-tire. It's getting yelled at the podcast as no one listens to each other or pays attention aka a regular episode.Go see Do Go On live in Canada!Go watch Matt's special!Go see ATB and Matt on Tour!Go buy tickets to Plumbing the Death Star live in the UK!And follow Plumbing the Death Star on Instagram for Live Show Updates!Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+Today's episode sponsored by Omaha Steaks! Go to OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code BEEF at checkout for $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. Our Sponsors:* Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joe. And today we're joined by very special guest, Matt Stewart. It's going to be here. Woo! Oh, the crowd's going crazy. Yeah, I'm the crowd. There is.

Woo! Woo! Yes! What's Plumming the Death Star I hear Matt ask? Well, it's a comedy slash pop culture podcast. It's the important questions. And Matt, you're going to love the one today. This one's really good.

This one comes from a listener on our Discord. It does. Kevin underscore. Kevin Underscore. So thank you for this one. This one, let me tell you, Kevin. This one caught my eye and then I'm more or less strong on. Yeah.

And also shout out to Joel Zammett there because I was about to call you Michael underscore, which I don't think is your name. It's a cool name, though. The question today is, which rave would make the best rave? So, okay, I'm assuming that our dear friend, Kevin underscore, meant like... Is it definitely not Michael underscore? It's definitely Kevin.

It's Kevin. It's Kevin. It's Kevin underscore. Michael underscore is a fucking awesome name. Mikeun to score? Oh, my, my conned. Hang on.

We can do something with this. My cut, more like my cunt, the score. Maybe not. Like less than two minutes and somehow you're off track. I'm so fucking.

This is predicted before we hit recording. which was within five minutes I'd go, God, I'm so full of pizza. Let me tell you, that's happening right now. God, I'm so full of pizza. He's going to sink in the chair. It's going to be awesome. I'm like drunk on pizza.

It's made me feel really tired, but like crazy. We had really good Costco pizza before this episode. Everyone else ate two slices. I ate three slices. Two slices like a genius. Yeah. I was like, oh, halfway through that second slice, I'm like, I'm going to get a third.

Yeah. No, I am not. Yeah. I think the third slice was just because how good it felt to eat pizza. It felt really good. The paparoni was crazy good. Costco do a good-ass pizza. Yeah, dude.

They fucked my shit up, though. And now, as a consequence, all of the listeners all over the world. And my good friend Matt has to see me like this. Yeah. Tired. Full of pizza. I really didn't want to see you. I really didn't want to have to see it.

I know, man. This is heartbreaking. It is hard to win. Never meet your heroes. Tired. It's full of pizza. Oh, God. Anyway.

Man, such a big fan of you. Oh, I'm so tired of full of pizza. Man, it's just... That broke my... Shouted the illusion. I hated meeting Tom Cruise. I just wanted to say I was a fan of his work. Damn, I can't pitch his...

He was so tired and... He'd just been a dominoes and... Yeah. Tom Cruise... He was so tired and just full of pizza. He's a little guy, so it didn't take much. You met fans after he ate six and a half cheeseburgers. Fans were present.

He was a jury. Yeah, that's true. They got to see the effect about him. They got to see his... slowly became less joyous and happy and became more and more upset with myself. And I was rubbing my hands together being like no chance he clear seven. Yeah, you were like a fucking fly or cockroach going. Yeah.

You should have been like, yeah, taking bets. Yeah. Well, I nailed it. My prediction was bang on. Yeah, six and a half. Six and a half. Were you aware of it? Of eating the cheeseburger?

No, of the prediction. At a certain point I became aware. Because if you're aware of the prediction, I don't know. No, no, he was aware that people were making predictions, but we'd written them down. Because I thought I could do 10. That's incredible. This is classic Plumby that's a law. I was like, I reckon I can eat 10 cheeseburgers from McDonald's.

And much like something that may have happened while you were here, Matt, Jackson threw out a claim that we knew was factually incorrect. And I feel like I could too. It was way harder than you expect. When I was a kid, I used to order four, three or four. Usually junior burgers, maybe that would be the... The cheese would slow you down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How old were you, sorry? Younger, you said? I would have been like 14. 14, you said. I would have been, like, in my mid-20s probably at this point. Maybe late 20s. And metabolism is high. Yeah.

Plus, to my credit, and I'm about to get yelled at, Matt, watch this. To my credit, I'd had a full... Fuck all. Not 20 minutes to half an hour prior. It was before the show. No, it wasn't. Fuck you. We had dinner before.

You had another burger before? We would never eat dinner. You were an idiot. That's a burger. Say seven and a half. That's my greatest trick in the world. To be like, nothing on my sleeves, nothing on my sleeves. Watch this.

I'm going to lie. I'm going to lie and make it seem like that everyone's exaggerating the thing that I said. I'm going to lie. I'm going to lie so that my loss is now in my own head a win. And, yeah. I stay winning, dude. Anyway, I assume Kevin underscore. Yeah.

What they meant. Mike underscore. Mike underscore. Michael Lundesco, what they meant is a ray like Superman's X-ray vision. More like a heat ray or shrink ray or freeze ray. See, I did not think that. Hey, that's allowed. I mean, the question is ambiguous and broad.

Because I was going to bring the table Ray Winston. Oh, he's a really good ray. Well, yeah, I mean, before we hit recording, and it's very, very rare for us to do this. Which is probably why I got yelled at. Yeah. I will, went to clarify and then just got... Yeah. Yelda, similar to how Jackson just got yelled at by me then, where I was like,

wait, what do we mean? And it's like, what do you mean? There's so much to do with it. Shut the hell up. Stop the episode. And then everyone just kept yelling raise at me, which was not the question I had. I know that part. That's the easy part of the episode.

Yeah. Yeah, dude. And it's pumping the nest stuff really isn't exercise in getting yelled out. It's getting yelled out the podcast. Rayseray Chamberlain? Yeah, Rayseray Chamberlain. I reckon he should keep his nose out of the game. Just stick to doing stuff on the field.

Am I right? He's all right. He's right. He is. Now, can we... He was an AFL umpire. I feel he's Ray tired. Yeah, he's Ray tired.

Oh, that's good. Dushus tired, too. Yeah. Different kind of time. Now, okay. Ray tired. You're out of this, damn. Look.

Yeah. You have swings. That are all hit. Yeah. Or what maybe this episode needs is a laugh track. Everyone loves Raymond's song. Everybody loves Raymond. That's a good one.

Yeah, that's not the Ray, but not everyone does love Ray. Ray Leota? Ray Leata? He was a good Ray. Well, can we make these Ray's rays? So, can you have a Ray Winston Ray? I think so. I think that if you fire it at someone.

He takes him into a sexy beast. Movie reference. Yeah. That one's for you guys. Great film. He's in sexy beast. He's the main dude in him. He is the sexy beast.

I thought Bing Kingsley was a sexy beast. Bing Kingsley. Who hell's that? Bing Kingsley's a sexy beast? I thought Ben Kingsley was the sexy base. I've never seen the movie. Well, it's... Well, they're both sexy beasts.

They're both very sexy beasts. How would you use a Ray Winston, Ray? Whose two hands are in two hands? Is it... Is it, uh, he fledges or is it Rose Burns? Well, surely, it's a hand beach. No, probably not. I think it's probably both of them are, um...

Actually, it probably means something to do with... It could be... Yeah, yeah. But also... You think you could do something with, like, the movie Two Hands and the other movie Idol hands? Yeah. idle hands. The devil's greatest

trick was two idle hands. We gotta get three pizzas and you more often, my friend. You are firing an old silliness. Yeah, I thought we were going to peek at Ray Tired, but no.

Too idle hands. We've got to stop talking about Ray Tide. It's too funny. It's making my brain go in so many directions. Yeah, Ray got tired now. Now he's Ray Tide. You're very tired.

It's good. I like it. I'll speak well, what about, okay, before we go to the Winston Ray, about like a Ray that made you tired. A tired Ray. That's, that's really good. And that's what Victoria underscore, whatever his name is. Victoria.

Victoria is going to be right down the list of... Kevin there being like, it's Kevin. It's not a hard name to remember. Sorry. Why is you calling me, Martin? Victoria. Victoria is often the state you are in. Victoria has the vibe of like one of us called him Kevin.

I'm sorry, Victor underscore. And Dusha went, oh, Victoria. But no, there was a missing bit to that. Oh, dude, that's awesome. That's pizza. I'm gonna, he's got pizza power. I'm not looking in by just simply saying that, I mean, I remember the whole time,

but we need to talk about Kevin underscore. Yeah. That's good. But yes, that's probably more like what Kevin underscore was thinking in terms of a ray. You've got a gun, maybe a ray gun, that makes people sleepy. Would you have maximum a minimum sleepy on it?

Oh, dead tired. Oh, yeah. All the way to dead tired. Oh, would maximum tired just be asleep? Well, no, because that's a... Maximum tired can't be asleep because that would be a sleep ray. Yeah, when you're asleep, you're not tired.

Yeah, exactly. You're fixing the tired. Oh, true. That's a different ray. So, yeah. Exactly. A sleep ray. Yeah, yeah.

But the tie... I like a tired. one because you fight Superman's coming for, he's about to punch him in the breadbasket, dead tired, and he goes, ooh, weird. What I like about, because again, you make them tired, but they're not necessarily ready to sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you can be sleepy, and you can be tired, and you can be tired and you can be tired and not sleepy, but not tired.

That's a wonderful thing about the human brain. Do you reckon sleeping and tired are different? Yeah. I think, I think... Yeah. If we can just get that panned to left and right there for... give you the juicer experience. Because I think there would be multiple

on the dial inside of your ray. You would have like, sleepy. You might have like bushed. Might be on there because that's different. So, hang on. So sleepy is a type of tired, but sleepy and tired are different things. Yes. Sort of like turtles and tortoises.

Yeah, but that's like saying there's, okay, so what they just did there, Matt. I think that's not the same. Beautiful listeners at home man. Hey, he was agreeing with us. So I swore and outside, you know? Sleepy inside are different, but the guns going to have sleepy tired. Well, I wouldn't have sleepy on the gun. Well, Jackson just

don't. Sleepy can be tired, but tired can't be sleepy. That is not true. Stop saying things to agree with them. No, no, that makes sense. Sleepy is a kind of tired, so it's not tired itself. Tired is the category within which sleepy exists. That's not what you were saying before. You don't know what I was saying. I was, I honestly, he's too full of pizza. He doesn't know. Petscher tired. That should be on there. Pizza time. Yeah. Make the feel like they just had three pieces. Imagine getting pizza tired with having been able to enjoy the pizza. That's cruel.

You can be pizza tired, but can you be pizza sleepy? Honestly, the thing that's fighting, get to that in a second, because you both said two different things, then you're like, yeah, we agree. And then I asked one question, and then Jackson was like,

Zammett's wrong. I said something too. What did you never done? I never thought of plummet at that start before. Honestly, I don't even know what he said. So I wasn't paying attention. Yeah, this is pretty standard podcast. None of us are listening.

I'm also confused, but I'm just trying to say it. You're throwing stuff out there, which is making them fight each other more, which is good. Because you're going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sleepy and tired of, like, turtle and tortoises, and Jackson goes, yeah, but sleep is a type of titan, and I was about to say, yeah, oh, that's like the turtle tortoise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then Zammett had already turned on Jackson. Well, actually, Jackson turned on Zama without actually, Zama wasn't listening.

Yeah, and I believe I said, yeah, whatever, but he'll be on our side. It doesn't matter what you know. Maybe it's like, I didn't agree with Matt. I was like, whatever, he's agreeing with us. We have the majority now. It's about presenting a united front. Yeah. It's squares and rectangles.

It's like that. Okay. So sleepy. It's like all squares or rectangles are all rectangles or all rectangles. Yeah, all squares are all rectangles are all rectangles but not all rectangles are squares. And like that, sleepy and tide. All hominids are hominoid or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where are all humans are humans. Exactly. It's like that. Yeah. It's a genus. You're back in. You're on the same side of as Jackson now. Exactly. Welcome, brother.

I think I would have had it flipped around. I feel like sleepy is more than tired. Really? Because you're close to sleep. No. Okay. So. You can wake up sleepy. Oh, you can't.

Yes, you can. You can wake up tired. You can wake up sleepy. You can wake up sleepy. You can wake up sleepy. Zoom in on Matt's face. Wait. Zoom out again.

Shoot it on my face. What? Swip it on face. What is groggy if not sleepy? Oh my God. Fuck, groggy. Where's groggy? Because you wake up groggy.

Phil, groggy kind of has implication that you were drinking. Groggy is, I know because of grog. I get it. Or like that feeling like when you first wake up? Yeah. What's that? Or you wake up. You're like, fuck this.

You hit the alarm. You go back to sleep because you woke up sleep. No, you woke up. Time groggy. Broggy is not a kind of tired. Groggy's a thing that happens when you're tired. Yeah, I agree with Jack. I'm not putting groggy on the...

No, no. So, we got sleepy tired. You said bushed. I guess... Can the last one be exhausted? Yeah. What about knacket? Nackett.

I would hate to, you know, bring up the internet. Yeah. But groggy is when you wake up feeling weak days and unsteady with a foggy mind. Usually a temporary state caused by just waking up from a deep sleep. Yeah, it's caused by sleepiness. No, but that's what... No, it's not. It's actually caused by the opposite sleepers because you've just woken up.

True. In fact, it's the opposite of sleepy. That's a good point. We just wake up from a deep sleep. You're the most not sleepy. Yeah, exactly. It's of anything. And I don't think it's alcohol related because if you have a nap that goes too long,

you can wake up grog. You can wake up. You can wake up the wrong part of your cycle. Oh, no. Actually, okay, so it does, it originates with grog, but now it means. Yeah. Exactly. That's the feeling of language for you, though, brother.

Exactly. It just evolves. Language evolves. It's always changing. What would you say is the difference between being Naked and being Bushed? Oh, I think Nackett is like, you don't have much left at all. Yeah. Bush is like, oh, I'm Bush, I need to sit down.

Yeah, Bush is going to watch something. Yes. I can watch a movie. Yeah. I think Nackard is if, like, if I'm going to, okay, Nackett is like I've done a whole game of basketball. Okay. And Bush is if I'm like, I've done a hike.

Okay, you go, damn, I'm bushed. Yeah. Yeah. I think, like, I think it's endurance. I'm Nackard, you've got to expand. a lot of energy in a relatively small amount of time, whereas bush, you're expending quite a lot of energy, but over a longer period of time.

And you could keep going when you're bush, but you know what, if I could just have a bit of a sit down, maybe a cup of tea, I'll be alright. But if you're naked, you go, that to be done, basically. But I think as well, if you're... Where's exhausted?

Exhausted, that's below knacket. Below as in I'm... It's more tired. Yeah, okay. More tired. Exhausters probably match to the top, right? You're saying sleepy is the base? Sleepy to me would be...

I'm a little sleepy. I'm a little sleepy. But I guess you're putting the lid along. Yeah. I'm sleepy. Well, I guess you would on your dialing, a little sleepy, sleepy, sleepy, Sleepy. Very sleepy, tired.

Yeah. It's so fucked that you think the big sleepy comes before tired. I'm big sleepy. Well, big sleepy is not something anyways. It's not something anyways. I'm big, I'm so big sleepy right now. Everybody else feel like big sleepy. I feel like I can go through a day being tired.

a day being tired. I couldn't go through a day being sleepy. Really? Interesting. Sleepy is... Like heavy eyelids and shit? That's sleepy. Tired's just like, damn, I'm tired. Which is why, yeah, sleepy and tired, I think, too. Yeah, which I'm with Zammett now, you're in. Just why I wouldn't put...

You got a sleepy ray and a tired ray. That's what I've been saying, I think, this whole time, maybe. You were, and then Jackson said, yes, I agree, and then changed it, and then you agreed with his change. Okay, okay. That sounds more about right. You're like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, it goes sleepy tired. And you're like, yeah.

I did. I just think we put sleepy on the tired, right? Okay, fair enough. It's you all right. Yeah, because like the feeling of being tired, like your body is like, like you go, like, it feels empty. Where sleep is all like in your head. Oh, it's a head, yeah. I feel that. Eye lids, that moment just before you fall asleep. And also, yeah, like, eyelids, like, sleeping. You're on the couch.

It's a kind of like, let's see. say 4 p.m. maybe. The heating's on. It's a bit cozy. Yeah. And you're like, oh, no, I'm getting to be sleepy. I feel like getting sleepy, you kind of, like, you feel your body get real warm and stuff. And heavy, real heavy. We're tired.

Fuck, you can be cold and outside. Tired. You're like, fuck this. That's fair. You got to. You've got other things to do. Plus, you can be tired of something, but you can't be sleepy of something. Yeah, you can pick just someone out of rain. And you're like, man.

You're tired, you're not sleepy out there. This grizzled old cop, he's sick and sleepy of this nonsense. But a tired old cop in a sleepy old town. Oh, true, a town can be sleepy. A town can't be tired, though. I don't know, I think a town can't be tired. The decor and the town could be tired. Yeah.

No, that's true. Daycore can be tired. How can the town be tired? Tired aesthetic? Yeah, I think it's... We're talking about a vibe, though. A sleepy town? Yeah, so a sleepy tired town.

Sleepy Town is a town where everybody just lives their life. Yeah. You know, it's quaint. It's probably like an old... There's usually a deep-seated, like, murder there. The dry is currently happening. Yeah, exactly. We're aware of a sleepy town.

But a sleepy town can have a thriving economy, okay? It can have a thriving, shut the fuck up, I'll kill you both. Tourist economy. Like good cafe and a sleepy town. Yeah. Well, Matt's not going to yell at me. I'm on your side. I'm with you.

Yeah, yeah. Sleepy. I can have like a good day. I'm undecided where I land. But a tired town is a town that was once prosperous, but is no longer prosperous because the mill closed, well, they logged all the trees. It was like an old mining town.

Yeah, exactly. And now the town still exists, but it's tired. It's on its last leg. Cyan Town, Queenstown in Tasmania. Exactly. Home of Chris Fagan. Well, where Chris Fagan was born. There you go.

And he's been on the couch before talking footy. He has been talking footy. Oh my gosh. Fox footy. Sponsoros. You won't regret it, we reckon. Plumbing the Death Star will sign to S-E-N if you're looking to buy as Craig Hutchison. That would be awesome.

He's a CEO, but it's a rare CEO business where I reckon he's getable. That's awesome, dude. Another AFL show. These references are really coming thick of cars. The reference in this episode a while. And Zammett, you say your biggest audience is in America? Yeah. Yeah, that'd be loving this.

Yeah. They're Googling kettle. Who's Riley Beveridge? I'll stop. Well, will I. So, I think you can have a tired out of a sleepy town. You probably can't have a bushed town or a knacket town. You can have a bush town, though.

You can have a bush town. Can you have a tired town? You could, I guess. Yeah, if it's a sleepy town, if the tourist... That used to be a boom. Yeah. The lake dried up or some shit. That's like antique shops and little...

Yeah. But there's a lot of closed businesses now. I just feel like a tired town is. like, like a what, a beat away from just being abandoned? Yes. Okay. That's what makes it tired. It's tired of existing.

It's on its last leg. Last step is ghost town. Yeah, exactly. Last leg. Adam. Adam Hill is often confused with Will Anderson who has a podcast of our football. That's true. That's true.

Two guys won cup. Yeah. Yeah. He also's got two of football. Don't worry about that. That's the one the listeners might know. Yeah, yeah. Get that out of your minds, dude.

Don't want that. How would you use your tired ray? Well, initially, I was thinking of Ray Winston. But now I'm thinking of driving and just like just shooting out the window. It's caused a bit of mayheming. That's really good. Making everyone real sleigh. Oh, where does fatigue come in?

Fatigue is tired. Fatigue is tired. Yeah. But is that beyond? Like, because fatigue could be past exhaustion. Yeah. Fatig could be like they got, you'd hit him with the Ray a couple times. It's not.

They're fighting it. Multiple days. of exhaustion, you're fatigued. Or multiple shots with the tired ray. You're fatigued. Yeah, fatigued and exhausted. I get hit twice. That's bad, dude. Two big sleepies equal of fatigue? Yeah, I reckon.

But also... No, sleep is different for fatigue. But how crazy is it because this, so this ray... Can I just say fatigue train? Oh! Okay, that's alright. That's a deeper cut, maybe. No, it's not that deep. I mean, they've all been pretty. Yeah. If you're in America, they're all

Very deep. During this world. Truly bewilded. Well, that one was good because it was not only a reference, but also a pun on a reference. Yeah. Well, nicely done. Yeah, yeah. That was a...

This one goes out to you, David Teague. Come home. I don't know. He ran away. That's sad. He was the former coach of Carlton who ran away. He ran away. He ran away.

He was milk cartons. Yeah. They should do some. Yeah. Pure a milk. Pure a milk. Saints, yellow jersey. Nice.

And bats, I know this bit. When they changed the Sheffield Shield of the Pura Cup. Yeah, they did. Now we're in cricket. Yeah. Well, I'll move on now. That's a kind of cat food. When Gary Hocking changed his name to Whiskers by Deedpole.

Yep. To advertise the Cup Food Company. Yeah, you should do that. You should know this story. Yeah. There was a Jolong. So, was it Wiskers? Whiskers, yeah.

Whiskers, cat food. There was a Jolong football. player that changed his name legally by deedpole to whiskers so that he would get more money. Did it work? I think it paid for the club. I think the club would have paid like five grand. It was in the 90s, but it's so grim. And like not even you get the five.

Well, here's the thing about professional sports in Australia. Yeah, he didn't get the money. Wink. Yeah. He's one thing you should look into. And this goes out for anyone who cares about sport. The highest selling AFL jersey ever was, is now Scott Pendlebury in his record-breaking game. Before that, it was a Geelong player.

It was Brad. It was Brad. Jolong player currently plays. Brad Houghtons? No. How? Like now. Oh, brown sleeves.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. He's a guy that's like no. He's got a hair that sort of come back. Yeah. Yeah. Basically, his jersey. Welcome to Howgood's footy. Anyway, by the way.

He sold his job for $80,000. as the people went, where'd the money go? Why was this? Brad close. Brad close, yeah. We were so far away. So far away. Anyway, it's just interesting. Where does the money go?

And this goes for every job and everything. Movies? Follow the money, dude. Follow the money. Where did Brad Close's money go into his pocket? Into his bank account? Because that's out of the salary cap. I tell you what, it feels like they're not even hiding it really.

Yeah. Dodgy Jolong with salary cap stuff. Yeah. And movies. I really like the idea of trying to do the whistle. thing but getting confused and changing my name to dog food. Dog food, we're not playing you for this.

You're basically advertising our competitors as well. You're advertising nothing. You're advertising the category of product we sell. Yeah. This isn't good for us. Yes, dude. And then I go hang out the dog food aisle. Okay, how about this for a new plumbing

the dust star challenge? This is related. Pretend it's Ray or whatever. Yeah. You change your name to Cat Food Bailey. I'll change my name to dog food douchea and then we go out there and whoever gets the biggest sponsorship wins. I love that

that's really good. I think that's, and dog food doucheer can I tell you? That sounds fantastic. DFT. DFT. Zammert can be horse feed Zammett. H-F-C. H-FSI. H-FSI. Oh, that kind of sounds like KFC, so he might win. H-F-Samee. Samick gets sponsored by KFC.

Have horse feed, Zammett, and try the new Zingerberger. I'm H-F-Z and you. You should try some KFC. Can I be bird seed Stewart? Yes. Of course you can. Oh, no. BS.

Yes. Oh, damn, dude. What was your question? I don't remember. Did I have one? Yeah, you started saying something with the raid. About what? I don't know.

I'm shooting at a parcel buys in the car. Oh, right. How would you use the tired? No, this is what I was going to say. If it's a ray, you know, because tired is not asleep. That's true. Okay. Correct.

So does that mean you could get someone more tired than a person can get? You can get over... I mean, overtired is a thing. Just ask the father in the room, Joel Zambi. Yeah, babies often will get overtired. And then they can't go to sleep because they're too tired. Yeah, but that's what I...

Because like, right now, there's, if we get too tired... And this is maybe a overplay of my hand, but when people abuse sleeping tablets, they intentionally stay up... They get overtired? They get... Well, it's not overtied. You get crazy. Yeah. Why abuse sleeping tablets?

So the tablets that make you go to sleep. Oh, yeah. You want to stay up, but you're not using. Having a great time out, time to pop some valleys. Yeah. Yeah, nice. That were the kids that don't know. I mean, I don't know.

I'm not a child. Yeah. And let that be for the... No, I don't know. I've seen people do it, but to me, that seems crazy. The only time I've ever taken Valium was on a plane and it didn't work, and I accidentally went into that phase because I didn't fall asleep. Because my question is right now

If I get too sleepy I don't know about you Listeners I go to sleep If I go Wow Unelatable King Turn to sleep

But with this max sleepy I hear you twice with it or whatever Your eyes are like Like I'm so sleepy Every part Every inch of my body is like It's going to sleep Yeah

But I'm just going to That's the point of the gun You can't go to sleep Yeah because the right Ray is just for sleep. Because otherwise it would be good. I'd love to have it each night. I shoot myself with it.

Bang, bang. But you've got to be careful, because if you shoot yourself with it too strong and then you get, like, say, eight or nine hours sleep, you might wake up still tired. Yeah. I think, yeah. Yeah, you could be groggy. Yeah, what would you? I reckon you could do, yeah.

You could be like, I feel like you've been hit with a tired. Yeah. And then, like, here's a point. You're going to go to sleep. But a tired, Ray, you're like, well, you're going to feel tired, but not necessarily sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need a sleepy, Ray.

Yeah. To make yourself big sleepy. And then you're driving stroppy. Yeah. You've got just manic energy you want to get out. Yeah. Yeah. And you end up eventing in it. Energy rye as well.

Oh, to give yourself to try and balance yourself in the librium. You're thinking like, yeah, you could just, you've got a baby ray. You could shoot someone and then they act like a baby. Oh, baby ray. That feels like the kind of thing that probably did happen to Superman in the silver age of comic books. I can imagine. Also, there's a source called Sweet Baby Ray. I was thinking of that too.

That's a good Ray. Sweet baby Ray, Ray, what do we think? I love that. That's just a water gun full Sweet Baby Ray. Which is... Yeah, but it's a Ray, though. Yeah, yeah. It's a Ray.

Okay, so is it... What do you mean? Well, it's a ray. It's a ray gun. Yeah. But I shoot it and the ray of Sweet Baby Ray. Oh, okay. Does it, like, turn the things you fire into Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce?

No, I feel it would cover it in. Okay. I mean, that would be unpleasant. Nobody does that to Superman. They don't make him just, like, uncomfortable. So, like, you know, go to a field with cow and I spray it. I'm like, just do you wait.

This is a taste of your future, cow. So you're marinating the cow in Sweet Baby Ray's sauce? For some reason, my thought was that you were turning it to milk into sweet baby rice. Whoa, milk and cow get barbecue sauce. That would smell really bad. I think smelling... So I like the three baby and barbecue sauce and cow at the same time. So you get to a sweet baby Ray Ray.

Fuck me up, yeah. You put it in the cow's mouth. You fire it. Oh. You're way to be. You milk it. Sweet baby ray milk. Well, now its calves are feeding on that.

That's true. You imagine when those carbs come of eaten age. Yeah. They're going to... It's tasting good. Plus, if you want sweet baby Ray, just straight from the sauce. Yeah. If you feed a cow...

If you feed a cow, nothing but barbecue sauce. Yeah. Yes. Will its milk taste a bit like barbecue? Sure. Yeah. The asparagus thing. Yeah, like, surely there'll be some element of it.

Because they talk about grain feds. beef? And that's going to be better quality, is that right? Exactly. So if you just made a cow... That's where they feed them. Grass fed beef? Isn't that good?

Milk? Wait, what's better? Grass or grain-fed beef? I think it's all... And if the grain is just like grass seeds, then is that even better again? What if I sold like egg-fed beef? Do we like this? I don't.

Egg-fed beef. Chicken-fed beef. Now I do like it. You do a living to ducking right. Yes. What's the inner one? Like a rabbit. Turkey's the outer one.

Oh, turkey's the outer one. Duck, chicken. So you feed a duck, chicken to a duck. And then you kill that duck and feed it in bits to a turkey. Yeah. And then you cook that turkey. Oh, dude. You've made a delicious food and maybe a new crime.

Yeah. Yeah. And also created a new illness. Yeah. That's switched the globe. Oh, yeah. We're getting dry on. I don't know.

What's going on there. Wow. I was thinking, and this is not really a good ray, which I know is not the question. But I was like, what about an x-ray vision, but it's not like, if I say I look at you and I see your ribs, it's like also like a ray that comes out of my eyes to remove your skin so I can see the ribs. So an x-ray. X-ray vision, but like, say I was like, let me look at Zushar and they look over in your skeleton, but somehow it vaporizes a lot. of your skin. So is he

makes you a scalet? Is he left alive? No. Oh, so it's... Why the rims in particular? So it's not really x-ray. It's not really x-ray vision. I just thought it was specific

to the rim cage. It's heat vision. Maybe I could pick how, what... Superman can do that, can he? Yeah. He's a bit to say. But with x-ray vision...

With some lasers. He's laser vision, but he's choosing to pull the punch a bit. Yeah. With x-ray vision, you can kind of pick. You could go, I just want to see... I just want to see them

you know, those sweet hamsy yours. Yeah, exactly. I'm just trying to peep some ass, and so I'm just going through pants. Yeah. Okay. And then you're facing me, so I've got to see those sweet hamser from the front.

Yeah, exactly. This isn't good. A hams are asses. In this scenario, so you're saying I'm like, yeah, from the front, you can see him all the way from the inside. But if I was doing that with the particular rate, I have.

I'm right here with X-ray vision. And I want to purve on Jackson's a beautiful hand. You can see the inside of his outside of his ass. Yeah. Holy shit. I don't know if that's good. Superman can do that? Yeah. Is that good, though?

No. I don't think so. I'm just saying like the, what the inn? What do you call? The glute. The gluteous. What do you call it when it's like concave? Oh, convex?

Call me old fashioned or maybe just not like super woke. But I feel like the sexy part of the arse is the fact that it has skin. Man, you can't say that. You can't say. They're going to come for you, dude. I feel the sexist by the ass is. often like, you know, not the in. You're about to offend our hole listening.

No, yeah, I was about to offend myself. No, no, no. It's all pretty good. It's all pretty good. But you're right. There does need to be skin on it. Yeah. Skin is a plus. But that's what I mean.

We can't say a hole without the skin. That's what is a hole? Would be freaky. It's nothing. Yeah. It's nothing. If you take everything away from the hole. Yeah. I feel like you could take away anything from around an arsehole

and you would still go, that's an awesome. Yeah, you'd be able to tell. Yeah. If you saw an asshole on the beach, you know, like... I'd be confused, but be like, I know what that is. You could tell what it was. But you're taking the whole tube.

The whole is the negative space. What I'm doing, Matt, is I have x-ray vision where I can determine how intense it is, but when I use it, it destroys the thing I'm looking through. That's just controlled heat ray. Well, what if it doesn't kill you then?

And when I retracted, your clothes or your skin, comes back. Okay, so you're making an x-ray for that everyone can see. Yeah, well, yes. Yeah, I think that feels like a thing that feels like it could be a thing. Yeah, I think that'd be pretty sweet. I mean, I can see the benefits. Yeah. Like in medical situations. Look inside you? Would you like me look inside you? Security. Security checks. Yeah, because I could look inside me. Yeah. I'm as freaky. What's going on in there? I think it would freak me out, dude. Not good. And I wouldn't want my guts exposed to the air. Yeah, that's fair. Oh, they're exposed to the air. Yes.

Oh. So you make it... They'd figure out a room that would be... So is it... So say I was doing it... So it's like it's a portal. Yeah. You got portal ray.

And so you're portaling bits of pieces of me like... So it still exists. Yeah. Okay. I'll tell you how my ray works. Okay. Say I wanted to look at your brain. Done.

Okay? I put my two fingers to my temple. Yeah. And I focus on your face. Okay. And then in my vision, your face gets disintegrated until I can see inside your brain, but you'll kept alive throughout.

Uh-huh. And then when I want to retract it, I reconstitute your face as my vision, my ray retract. So it's a fresh face. Yeah, he gets... It's like a Prometheus ship or whatever it's called. Yeah, yeah. It's not Prometheus, is it? I don't know what...

Ship of Theseus. Sheephysius. I was thinking of the movie Prometheus? It would be like, I mean, maybe if we want, I can store Zammert's face particles in my gun. Oh, yeah. And then I can give him his face back. Okay, but that means you could also not, and you could also give that to someone else. Yeah.

Oh, you could put its faces. I can do a face off. You could do face off? You couldn't, though, because you still... You'd need two guns to do face off. I guess I was putting my face on your face. I would be storing of your face. Where's my face?

I just came in here and have a brain show. You never lost my face. This is how you respond. Well, I got no, like, mouth, I assume. You've got a mouth. You took my whole face. Yeah, you take a face, that's the lips. You still got mouth.

It's like how you'd have eye sock at all. My tongue, though. Yeah. A tongue's not face? What are we talking about? He could see my brain. I went all the way into brain. No, I know. I was listening rarely. Yeah. I mean, I'm in a rare circumstance.

You're just flopping. Your brain would be flopping on the floor. Yeah, I might fall, you know, fly in, bland. Matt's right. You keep saying you're taking face, but you are taking whole head minus brain. So I guess that's different and play on. Yeah. Thank you. I feel like that the brain might just, you know. I can take whole body, honestly.

Yeah, because you can see what's behind me. If it's vision, I take what I'm looking at. into my own head and then I can put it somewhere else. Yeah. That'd be pretty cool, I think. That's pretty cool. You know? How many do you think you'd be able to hold it once?

I think whatever I could look at. So if I went up on top of a hill and looked at the city of Melbourne, gone. In my head, there's just a big crater. And then I could go out to sea. So you went to space and you look back at Earth. Yeah. You could just suck.

Suck Earth into my head and then deposit it somewhere else. And it would mean we'd be able to figure out what's in the center of the earth and stuff. Yeah, I could do that. Absolutely. They could suck off the sun. Suck off the sun, destroy the planet. Oh, yeah, you didn't have to go to space for that. He used to look up.

Yeah, exactly, dude. The galaxy. It's a dangerous power I possess. And what have you looked through a telescope? Yeah, galaxies, sun, stars, dude, any... Yeah, that's awesome. This is dangerous. Way more dangerous than the sleepy gun.

Yeah. The sleeping gun might make someone sleepy. Yeah, yeah. This could wipe out not only all of human life, but somehow... Yeah. Universe. More than that.

And really, like, you... You don't know it can do that until you do it. You're going to do it and go, oh, no, I did do that. And the first time I did it, I wouldn't know what was happening where I, like, look at a loved one. And then they go, jukes into my head. And I go, what happened just that? Are you seeing them in your head when they're in your head? Yes.

You take it in their soul? What happens if you suck up the sun, then? Is the sun big in your head? I get a hot hair. Oh, damn. And you go, put it back. And I go, whoa, hang on it. I got a real bad headache

I go Earth is dying You've just wrecked everything I'll put it back Give me five fucking seconds I like the idea of missing And like eating the moon When you shoot it back out Setting the moon flying out

We didn't need the moon Whoops Everyone's mad at me But we didn't have to have the moon Yeah the moon doesn't do shit It doesn't do anything Turn around to look at the TV And it's like

Earth like water levels fucked Yeah for a bit But they'll get back to normal Will they? Is that true? Probably What are tides for anyway? They're probably following the moon or some shit.

Tides would probably happen even without the moon. Yeah. Right? Right. Guys, leave me alone. Put something else there. Look around. Yeah.

Put a car up there. There we go. Is that a new moon? No. Oh, second car. Just keep putting all the cars in space. Yeah, exactly. You're going to ring a cars around the planet.

That's cool. That'd be all right. Just have a garbage pile up. Yeah, I could do that, dude. I'd be a busy man. I'd be a busy fucking man. Yeah, you'd be working... I'd be the hardest work of man on earth.

Yeah, that's great. Because I'd be traveling around. You'd be looking at so much stuff. I'd be looking at fucking heaps of shit, dude. He's got like zero impulse control, so everything is going. They go, Jackson, shouldn't you have at least, you know, like dark glasses so you can't see? And then that... And then that's...

And then that's... What? And it's not like the front of the plane I'm in away. Oh, fuck. Just the guy you're speaking. They go away. Damage. I'll put you back and then it's

you know, we're in there someone else 100,000 feet yeah guys I'm gonna tell you I'm feeling really weird this is everything about this is making me feel

funny like I feel like I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind yeah yeah that's uh that's that's part of it they go that the plum and the death star

fact dude yeah yeah I'll tell you I don't mind it oh that's not bad yeah well I think I'd have to I think probably people would poke my eyes out

I think it's well I think that's probably for the best. They'd probably go a little beyond, though. Just a little bit. Just a game going. Oh, so he's got the powers of a super villain, the impulse control of a supervillian. And he's a weak man.

They're talking to me. Or I don't know they're talking about me. Yeah, we should get it. Yeah, fucking someone should kill that guy. Right? Real. soft eyes. Also, you're, and like, I know that most people, this is like, they're easy to get

this way, but I don't think you'd be top three easiest people to hit with a car in the world. Oh, no doubt, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know how often, always crossing roads? Well, no, he's crossing roads, but what is he not doing? Oh, looking both ways. No, no, what's he not doing? Looking.

Oh, looking at all. Just looking. Well, if he's not looking, then I don't think his. powers are going to be a problem. Actually, that's a fucking good point. I'm never paying attention or looking, so it's fine. You get to like 41. Oh, you discover around on your wedding day

when you finally look at your beautiful wife, disappeared. I go, huh? She goes, at the end of the priest says, and do you, Jackson? Huh? Who? Huh?

Where did the priest go? Just cleaning up half the wedding. Where am I right now? It wouldn't be better. If I'm crossing the road, car comes and I noticed just before it hits me, car's gone. Just before, though. But I do notice you don't have eyes in the back of your head.

Yeah. So we could easily brick him. Yeah. Also, I won't hear you creeping up on me. No, we know. You wouldn't see a car coming if you're just crossing the road anyway. You don't see cars when they're almost hit you now. Yeah, it's true.

I just get hit by a car and die. Yeah. That's probably what happened to me. Jackson, like, we'll be walking down a footpath. And this, I think, is crazy, but I've seen you do it so many times. Walking down a footpath, the footpath will veer as the road veers. And Jackson will just keep walking. straight. So he would just end up on the road. Like on grass and then on gutter and then on

bitchermen. Haven't been hit yet. Not noticed. Haven't been hit yet. You're on the other side of the road and you've not noticed. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I've crossed the road. Across the highway. What do you know? And also for an adult man, he likes to walk across like, you know how there's like two different types of gutters? There's the ones that are like a slope and then ones that are like a step. If there's a step gutter, he's, oh yeah. Type rope, tight rope walking across it. Yeah, why not? Just he's playing. Like one of those movies where I'm a baby escapes and it's sort of like... He seems surviving everyone else's...

Yeah. Lailing around. Yeah, him and a good friend of the show, Adam. I've seen them both do it where they just end up kind of playing on the goddoll. Yeah. I've seen them do that into the middle of the road where a car has had to stop. Oh, look at them honking. Sue us for having...

As they're both laughing at their little japes that they're having. To be enjoying life. Not realizing like what the fuck they're doing. You're going to go to hospital. if you get it by a car. And then you're going to be lying there and be like, what do you mean?

No one feels bad for me. I'm in a hospital. Damn, that would be awesome to go to hospital. He didn't, you stop listening. You stop listening to your second bit there.

You were like, when you go to hospital, oh, yeah. He'd be like, oh, lying in a full body cars. I mean, like, get to eat jelly.

Yeah, somebody's feeding me jelly. Yeah, I just, I just know you're lying that'd be like, why did I get any presents? No one's going,

we're angry at you. It's also, You did this to yourself. To be like, why didn't I get any presents? Sure I get anything people do when you go to hospital, is it? Yeah, it is. You get presents kind of presents when you're in hospital? You might get flowers.

Maybe. Or a get-well soon card. It also depends if you're a child. It also depends on what's happened to you. I'm in a full body cost. I can only move my head because I get hit by two trucks at once. I'm going to buy you a VR headset. Oh, that's awesome.

That's so good. Would you be swallowing up VR? Yes, the VR world, it would just be white when I put it on. Oh, no, but that means that that's in your brain. Yeah, and then I could put it out in the real. Whoa. You thought you were fucking me over? You go, no idea.

I was just getting you a gift. Well, look at this. This is a piece of shit. What are you doing? You got hit by two trucks. I thought you could use some cheering up. They went on either say. No one bought me presents.

I bought you that. We all chipped in. We got to the v. That's expensive. I'm taking my revenge. Well, I think if I had a ray, look, I'm so sorry to bring it back to this. It's not football related, but it is Australia related.

I was just trying to think of rays that I would love to have a ray gun shoot out. Yeah. And I think my life would benefit quite heavily from being able to shoot out Ray Martin. Oh. I feel like he's really clever. And he's got a good voice. So he can either narrate what I'm doing and I feel good about it. Or I could be like, Ray Martin, please investigate this.

And he'll go, that's not really the type of journalism I did. I go, Ray Martin, please. Please, Ray, so is it a gun or a vision? It's a gun. Okay, and does it make the real Ray Martin or a copy? He's 81 years old at the moment. So maybe it makes primetime Ray Martin. Oh, I'm going to say.

Middays with Ray Martin, Ray. Could be a lot entertainment, Ray? Because that wasn't midday's, like, you said. Yeah, but, yes. He had abandoned stuff. Yeah, but then he was getting more serious. People were like, this is a, he's a bad fit. And then people were like, oh, we like this Ray Martin.

And then he started a car in a fair. No, then he went to four corners. Yeah. I think he started with ABC. And then he, I was just reading about him the other day. Started the ABC. Was it four corners first? I don't think he went, yeah, maybe which would have been four corners.

Okay, four corners, Raymond. 60 minutes. Yeah. Could you maybe do, instead of Ray Martin, you could do Eric Banner playing Ray Martin like he did in on full frontal? Oh, yeah. Okay. With the plastic hair. Yeah.

That could be funny. That could be a bit of fun Well maybe he's got different On the Ray Martin gun Oh yeah You go from Banner to Yeah Yeah

I'm like alright I need someone that's funny Like a pisser right now Yeah yeah Look I trust Ray Martin The man would have He probably a fine if it's a Ray Ray Ray

Yeah And you can switch it to whichever human Ray you want Oh Oh A Ray Ray Ray Ray Because then we can get like Ray Winston

Yeah Simpson Yeah Oh Damn bro No bro No bro Oh, Rayman. Rayman?

Oh, that's good, dude. The little guy from the Rayman series? I don't know if Ray Ray would conjure Rayman as much as I'd love it. Tom Cruise and Rain Man? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stretching the abilities of the Ray, Ray, Ray. His name is Raymond.

His name is. His name is Raman. His name is Raymond. Oh, true. Rain Man. That's why he calls him Rain Man. You're right. Yeah, but then that's not Tom Cruise.

Yeah, you're getting Raymond. You're getting Raymond. from and he goes, where's my brother? What the hell are happening right now? I don't go count the numbers. He goes, no, that's not. What's his name? Charlie Hottom? From the gentleman.

He's Raymond. He's summoning Raymond from Rain Man and then trying to make him do stuff Rain Man did because you've forgotten the movie. Come to the casino with me. We're counting cards. No, that was my brother.

My brother, Rain Man did that. I'm Raymond. My brother's not even Rain Man. I'm Raymond. Yeah. What? I do not understand. What the fuck are you saying?

Yeah, you're switching it off. I'm not using that setting again. That's what it sucks. Can't even count. I guess you could kind of do like, yeah, like everything Ray, as in like all ray, like a Ray ray ray ray. Yeah. Then you get like Ray bands. I was thinking.

Oh, that's good, dude. Shoot yourself in the head and wear some nice sunny. Yes. Radiator when it's cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the rays from the sun. Oh, yeah. Cold?

Oh, I don't know if I would... I've cooked so much. If I had... It's got the biggest dial in the wall on the side. And if I went to Sun-Razin shop myself in the face, I think I'm dying. Yeah. I'll get skin cancer instantly. But then there'd be some sort of skin cancer doctor called Dr. Ray.

Yeah, so many. He'll be on there. I'd go, oh, no, this is not good. Could I get some gamma rays and then become the Hulk? Yeah. Could you get a raise? Eric Banner. Oh, yeah.

Could I get the... Yeah, I get the gamma, like, yeah, I shoot it. Like, Eric Banner as the holt comes. Maybe it's an Eric Banner Ray. Okay. The dry? I could summon him from the dry too. Damn, dude.

Dude, what's he up to with the dry too? Yeah. Everyone saw the dry, and no one saw the dry too. You could, you know, you'd be so finished being so dry. Yeah. I think the problem with the Ray, Ray. Yeah. He said, I think you would become dependent on it.

Yeah. You'd go, I have a problem. What ray and fix this? Like just then I was like, a rake? You know, you can... Ah, you're stretching it a little. That's where the machine is smoking and firing off electricity. Is you're pushing what the ray ray can do.

That's... That's... There's no Y and rake. Yeah, but there's a ray. There's a ray. Does R.A.E count? Yeah, it's a ray. It's not an R-A-Y-R-Rae.

It's a ray. So it's the sound... It's the sand rain. Rain, you can summon it. Don't ray me. Don't rain me. You know? You could rain on someone,

raid over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you need to rate something, but your Ray, Ray, right? I, okay, I don't know about this. You lost me at rate. Damn. I like this Eric Banner, though.

It's also good because Eric Banner, there's no Ray there. But I could get chopper. Yeah. The Hulk. A guy from, yeah, you and your stupid mate. Oh, yeah. One of the worst.

movies I've ever seen in my life. The nugget! Guy from the nugget. I mean, there's also corn from the castle. Should we just go gold mining? The four of us, should we just say fuck it and head out? Yeah. What if we find a nugget?

I think we would. All right. Are you odds are really good? I think for us, the four of us, we get a tent, some sleeping bags, we go gold panning. Would you go panning or mining? Mining, because a pan. For a nugget. Imagine you got a pan?

And it's just one huge nugget on that. I don't know. Wait a second. Hang on a second. Holy shit. Do you still want the Eric Banneray knowing that he's not one of the actors in you and your stupid mate and you're thinking you

either Nathan Phillips or Angus Sampson? I was thinking of one of those. I think you were thinking of Nathan Phillips. How do you even go gold mining? Nathan Phillips is playing a character called Philip. I don't know why, but that bothers me great. You just dig into the ground? Like what? So I got to the gold field.

I got my pickax? Yeah. The fucking, what am I doing? Just going and looking at the ground? Not a mining? Well, you would, presumably, depending when, you would be like, well, I want to get this bit of plot. And so that you'd, you know, buy that plot of land.

So you can dig on that bit. And then you start digging. But why do I pick that bit? You feel lucky. Oh, wow. Maybe you're a diviner. Huh? Yeah.

They find water. Maybe a divine. My dad used a diviner to get the water for his tank up at his. Did that work? Yeah. Because it's meant to be nonsense. Here's what the diviner said to him. Check this shit out.

You've got a terrible son. Yeah, I'm just here to find the... Whoa. I'm getting something. Everything's coming clear. Wait, water to find a stick is sick all of a sudden. Do you have a terrible son? The stick is droopy.

This does not normally happen. Why do we all know that stick? It's like a Y sort of shape. Yeah. Why do we know that? Crocodile Dundee? Maybe. Because Wood loves the wet.

I remember this movie called Bushfire Moon, and it was like a 90s Australian, I think Bud Tingwell was in it and it was maybe set at Christmas and I reckon that's maybe where I'm thinking of it from. Yeah. But maybe crocodile done then. I think of the movie the Water Diviner which stars Russell Crow

I think. Is it what with Australians and fucking divining water? It's a hot country we need. I watched a documentary where they got a bunch of water diviners and they set up a, they had this like a maze of like water tanks under the ground and they were testing them and each of them was like the clouds

are wrong when they were shown to be charlatans. The one my dad employed, he was like, let me come to your property. I'll find the water. And if I don't find the water, you don't have to pay me. Water, yeah. And then he found the water. He's like, it's right here. My dad dug down.

Fucking, we got water. Fuck. I think that's fantastic. Me too. Also, magic's real. That's what I'm saying. Because he's like, I'll have a guess. If there's water, if there's money, if there's not.

Yeah, I guess like, wait. Hey, God. How long was he there for? I don't know. And how much was he charging? I don't know. Because, I don't know. It doesn't matter.

All you need to know is that magic is meal. Because, like, again, it's like, I'm, I'm, look, I charge like a grand. I'm there for five minutes. And I go, hey, it's there. If it's not there, don't have to pay me. And I'm just, hey, if it works, great. I get a thousand bucks. All the cost of it was five minutes of my time.

It's not today out. Yeah, true. No, my guess is that how he did it is that he's just like. Oh, you're a double or nothing. I'll be here for another 10 minutes. Yeah. But it's $20,000 if there's water over there. It becomes a gay show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I have like a couple people just holding suitcases. Which one do you want? Yeah, exactly. What about a, we reified the water divining. Okay. So you've got a, and you can set to water gold or whatever you like.

Oh. A thing finding ray. Yeah, thing finding ray. A thing finding ray. Now, divine ray. Now, divine ray. Now, with the thing finding ray. Say I lost my keys.

Can I set it to keys? and then fire it and like a beam of energy goes and goes, whip-de-de-de-de-de-de-d-d-d- right here. I guess you got to set it to my keys? Yeah, it's just keys. Fuck! My keys. My key. It's glaring off.

How abstract could I go? Could it go like a cheap sandwich and then fire it into the city and it just finds the cheaper sandwich? Maybe it's not a doyle. It's a digital input thing. Oh, that's good. I love the idea of you shoot. Cheap sandwich up into the air and then there's a like a beam you have to follow and then it just takes you with dumpster Oh, why?

The cheaper than free brother What if it's like a travel later? And it just says eat garbage bitch on the digital store My Ray hates me It shoots out like a travelator So you can be like a physical pathway for it You can stand on it and it just zooms you down Or like that but it's like

To see it's like To get garbage bitch God damn. Or maybe it's like, you know, in a cartoon where you follow the smell? Yeah. It's like one of those and it's like a long, like, beam of light and you just attach a nostril to it. Yeah, and just like you're sniffing at your keys. Yeah, yeah.

Smell and metal. Here they are. That could be useful. You could go like, disease in my body and then shoot yourself. See if your own body. So, no. Your whole body's glowing. Oh, no.

I should have been more specific. Yeah. That's a good ray, dude. The sniff ray. Yeah. Yes. You're telling me a ray where you could put something in it. And it would give you a sniffer later, sniff travelator, to get to that object.

You're not using it. So you shoot the ray into the air and then you hooked the other side into your nose. Yeah. And then you travel along and by the nostril. Yeah, yeah. Floating. Floating. Yeah.

And then sometimes you fuck it up and you end up in a garbage shit. Yeah, exactly. It was invented to find pies on windowsills. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But they're broadened out. The technology could be adapted to many other things. Exactly. Oh, to find a pie on a windowsill.

That's like my dreams, dude. You could. You get a pie at a windowsill. Exactly. You'd be traveling for a while. I think so. I don't think we live in a pie on the windowsill economy anymore. No, no.

You're probably floating to Kansas or something like. Yeah, exactly. Across the seas, starving. Can't wait to get to this time. Are you crossing the Pacific? Oh, fuck. I'm going at normal floating speed. Instead of dreamily moving.

Fuck you. This pie's going to be so... Passing like a fishing trawler. Help me! Get me down! It's also good because the floating motion I can imagine is the one where you're like dipping up and down, like a wave.

Getting nauseous. I don't feel like pirate anymore. It's at some point that's going to go because they're like, oh, it stopped cool. It's just a cold out. Splash. I have a serious trouble. But then I guess I could go...

A dry land. Yeah, dry lands. You land in a desert. It's a real monkey pouring in you now. I just keep looking at eat shit. Antarctica is technically in the driest continent. Oh, fuck you. God damn.

I hate you sniff. I hate you sniffrey. Yeah, dude. Do you reckon have you found a pie on a windowsill? Yes. You got it. 100. You got to do.

Knock it on the front door, you just... No, I'm just fucking taking it, dude. I'm sneaking up onto the windowsill. Then my little grabby hands going, whoop. And then... I reckon you're fucking up, and you're, like, I can imagine you either grabbing the side of the thing

and it's way too hot or accidentally putting your fingers in the pie, and it's too hot. And then I'm just pulling out a scalding hot pie and it's eating them under the window cell. It's so easy to imagine you burning your hands. It really is. Yeah, just in general.

Yeah. Like, if, Finding out that you have like, actually, I know why this comes from. It's because you famously ate a burrito so wrong that you were sick for two weeks. Yeah. Because you swallowed it without chewing. Before we started recording, you told me that Jackson never gets in pickles, that he lives a blessed life.

Now you're making it sound like you can't even eat a pie without fucking it up. It's not a pickle. It's not a pickle. I've used, okay, I know we just ate with Jackson, but Jackson needs like a duck. Yeah. He doesn't chew? Yeah. No, yeah.

He's not a chewer. And same with drinks. He chugs every drink. He chugs every drink to the point where a lot of the time if he describes the taste of a drink, he's actually describing the aftertaste. It's a bit of a head rush. If you ever tried, like if you want to try and drink like that, Matt, it's a rough. Do you want to show you how to do it and then you can give it a crack? Do you want a fresh drink? No, this is got drinking it.

Oh, okay. So if I'm drinking normally and I'm not trying to savor it, which I don't do, I'm just, doing like a like it just goes down. He chug, yeah, he sucks through the can and then he always drinks enough that he's out of breath when he puts it down. He goes,

yeah, dude. I like, that's the fun of it. That's the pleasure of the satisfaction. It's the going down that you're like. Yeah. You're not a saverer. No, I'm not a savorer, dude. No way in hell.

Which is why it's really easy to imagine me. Imagine you. Sorry. That which is why it's really easy to imagine me imagining you. You burning your mouth. Oh, burning my mouth. And hands, because you just grabbing stuff, jamming in your mouth by the time.

That feels like a skill to not care about taste. You'd just be eating and drinking the healthiest stuff, I guess. No. Not quite. Not quite. Not quite. About the nutrients. It's not about the...

Well, no, because I still, you know, despite what, you know, dissenting opinion, I do get the taste. Right. Just briefly. Yeah. You know. Flash and past the taste box. It's not there the whole time. Yeah.

It's kind of like a pasta. crossing train. Yeah, exactly, dude. It's the whistle of a train in the night. It's a fleeting glimpse of someone on the train, as the train passes by you. The train passes by, you lock eyes with you. You'll never see them again. It's kind of a melancholy moment.

I reckon. That's me with flavor. Jump on the train. Get on the fatigue. Yeah. The fatigue track. I reckon maybe. The fataste train.

The best ray that I put forward would be the ray. That kills Jucks. No. To make you as smart. as Jackson. And then I get to shoot everyone. Oh my God. To have the intelligence of a dog would be crazy.

Yeah. He's looking at him. He's so happy. Could you, would you just do it? I mean, that's, I think that's great. Because you get all sorts of other weird kinds of intelligence that Jackson has as well. Exactly. You're so kind.

Why? Because you, I mean, what you're saying is just like a happiness rate. Yeah, yeah. No, no. No. It's not that he's happy. Because you're... I like the idea of a happiness, Ray.

Yeah. I'm not listening, Ray. Yeah, ignorance, Ray. What's the spectrum of the happiness, Ray? You know, where's Jackson on it? You know, you've got joy. You've got... Ignorance.

Where's ignorance? I like a not listening, Ray, because I like the idea of someone talking to you, and you go, yeah. Hey, yeah. Hey, the Jackson Ray would do the same thing. Yeah. And then you get to hit them with... Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, Matt. Also, if you ever hit Jackson, that yeah, he's not listening to you. He's right. I'm always listening to you, dude. I care what you got to say. These two, these two bozos?

He's done a multiple times in this episode. Not necessarily to you, but he has done it. I'm not noticed, but I feel like I've heard everything these guys have to say over the last 15 years. They've got nothing new for me. You, Matt? To give me a surprise at him. Yeah.

And now we've made Jackson not listening into a bit so we can get away with not listening because then we go, you motherfucker, you weren't listening. He goes, here. What punishment do you think I'd have to sustain to start listening? Nothing. We build a ray that makes people pay attention. Oh, that's scary, dude. Pay attention, Ray.

That's like a ray that does that thing that opened your eyes up. A Clockwork Orange Ray. That still wouldn't work for Jackson. He'd be thinking of pies and stuff. He can zone out with his eyes, pride over it. Easily, dude. Easily. I imagine Jackson, like, if you're looking through his eyes at any given time,

It's just like not reality, you see. What do you imagine? I don't know. You know in The Matrix, how it's that like... You're seeing Adventure Time. Heaps of those like the different characters that are falling down. Oh, yeah. That but holes? No.

So that but like, I want to say like TV static. Oh, yeah. Because there's just nothing really there. There is... If you sort of look, there's shapes. You can kind of see... It's like one of them like... Shakes in the smoke.

Like the magic picture. that you can stare for too long. Yes. I feel like something like that. I can't do this. Really hard. I can't do the magic guys. It requires too much patience.

I could when I was a kid, but at some point I lost the power. Yeah, that's crazy because we were saying just before we hit record that we think your attention span and listening a capability. You don't need to listen or pay attention to do magic eye. You have to concentrate, which is paying attention. No, you need to unfocus your eyes in a certain way. Oh, true. That should be your super power.

Unfocusing. But I can't do it, dude. That's crazy. They don't work. I can't do magic guys. I'm going to take everyone's word for it when they say this stuff going on. They go, oh, I'm the same. Yeah.

Can you do magic eyes? Yeah. What the fuck, dude? He's got access to a secret world, but we'll never. I can either not pay attention it, pay attention, or unfocus my eyes real. Damn, dude. I can't. Whatever is you need.

When I was a kid, dude, you give me a magic guy, I'm seeing it. I've never been able to do them. Never? Never. You can't see him either? Maybe a couple. And I've tried a few times. I'm good at the colorblind test.

Damn. Yeah, I'm very colour. Yeah, it's all the same color. It's easy. That's a fucking 36. That's a 69. Nice. The last time I said, this is funny,

the last time I saw one of those magic eyes, they were pornographic. Yeah, it was like sexy stuff on the other side of the magic eye. And I couldn't see it. And it was kind of like that scene, that Twilight Zone episode where the guy's like, I have time now, but his glasses, shout out. I'm like, I tend there, but I can't get it.

I'm so horny, but I can't see you. I'm so horny, I can't focus on the magic eye. I think it was on my phone and I was going like, please. All I can do is. Where is it? I just want to sniff, though. I just want to come. But it wouldn't let me, dude.

It was depressing. Yeah. Well, I think we've covered every ray here. I think so, dude. Yeah, dude. And before we say goodbye to our good friend Matt, or maybe today he could be a right. Yeah.

And maybe the best Ray was actually Matt Stewart. Ray's Stuart. And if you want to celebrate Matt Stewart further, why not head to YouTube on it at 8 p.m. on the 8th of August, 26, to watch the world premiere of Matt Stewart's comedy special bad boy. Oh, yeah. Does that sound good, Matt? A bad boy, Ray? A bad boy, Ray.

Just make people really sick. Yes, that would be awesome. Sunglasses on. Everyone's hats. Flip back. Leather jackets That's a stone cold bastard

Now that's a hat you could wear Yeah So that would be on the Humdinger YouTube channel Yeah that's right Humdinger YouTube channel Yeah so it's premiering at 8pm on the 8th of August Australian Eastern Standard time Yeah

But it will be going up on that YouTube channel after the premiere as well That's right And if you're in Canada You should especially if you're going to be in Canada in September Why not head to either the Dugah One web website or Matt Stewartcom.com and click tour dates and oh shit.

Holy mackerel. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, wow, we were. Yeah. We were very nice. Which is a show. I'm pretty sure I was thinking about this today. I reckon, I don't know if we'd still be doing it if it wasn't for San's pants in a bunch

of different ways. Oh, that's too nice. I'm pretty sure Dave Warnocky, the co-host, he was on one of your podcast just around when we started. I think it was about birds or something. Sounds right. Sounds right. And then...

And I'm pretty sure our first listeners came across because of this show. You're also the first... Everything you do, I'm like, oh, I didn't know that was possible. Yeah. Like when you, the first time you tour the UK, or maybe it's the second you came back. I'm like, what? What do you mean? You two at a podcast to the UK?

But now, we haven't been to Canada, and you... I mean, you haven't yet either. Well, because you're going to be in the UK at the time. That's true. That's right. That's also right, man. Thank you for pointing it out. If you're in the UK's...

That's a big month. Yeah, dude. If you're in the UK for the beginning of September, guess what? Motherfuckers? So will we be. Check the show notes down below with details. And if you're in Australia and September, each shit do go on and Plummed the Destar won't be here.

Yeah, right. There's something about how the Saints and the bombers are doing and we're both organizing overseas during finals. But if you have... in Melbourne in, I want to say, I think October, it's probably going to be a live show of us. Exactly. You only... Are you doing cheerfully if you?

Yeah. So, so we. Oh my God. You can look. You can see us reunited. But unless we're not allowed to announce that yet, don't worry about it. You didn't worry about it. This is a secret.

It's a little secret. I think it, I think when was this coming out? We don't know yet. Well, yeah. I think it's eminently being announced. But basically, in October, we're both doing live shows in Melbourne. don't tell anyone yet. Yeah, exactly.

At Hamdinger. At Humdinger. Don't tell them. Don't tell them. Don't tell anyone. But that's a festival that is also in the UK, North America and Australia. Don't tell them. Don't tell anyone you listen to this episode.

Yeah, this is a top secret. This is a top secret. Yeah, usually it would be like, it would be great if you could send an episode to your friends. We could use the men in Black Ray. Yes, now that's a good ray. By the Ray that made me forget, I'd just be going, too, too, How do the specific, like, they don't lose all memories. They just, how do, how do?

Well, because they say what you're going to get. Oh, right. They go, you're going to forget this, and instead this happened. That's good technology. You're going to forget everything. Oh, no. No, no, you can't make sounds. Wow.

I feel this is very much just a Jackson Ray again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, to be, Jackson. We only yell at him because we wish we were him. Huh? And on that note, I've been Joel.

I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. I'm right. Yeah. And if you want to find Ray on social media, just Google Matt Stewart. Matcher Comedy. Dot com. And we'll see you next week. Jackson, please listen.

I hope this is what you wanted. Well, I could stop listening to the episodes or Michael underscore. This is fantastic. And I think Duccia should apologize for doubting this episode. I do think he should apologize. I would like to thank the three giant slices of pizza. I've been riding this.

I was so tired at the start. Then I got filled with a crazy amount of energy, I guess as the carbs broke down. And then I got tired again. Probably after the caffeine from the code. That was awesome. Oh, yeah. So if you want to suggest a wonderful topic,

like Kevin underscore did. Exactly. Or Victoria. Victoria, Victoria. You can join the Bad Brain Boys Plus on SanspastRadio.com. Bad Brain Boys, bad boy. Whoa. What is it all mean?

Whoa. What does it all mean? It simply means you got to subscribe. Yeah. On sanspans radio.com or Apple Podcasts. It's just a button on Apple Podcasts. And then you give us some couple of clams every month. Give us some bones.

Bones. And you'll help support this, this cluster. to fuck. Yeah. And you get some bonus stuff. And one of those bonus things may or may not be access to the Discord. Exactly. And if you get access to the Discord, we have a channel where you can suggest a topic and if we like it enough, we'll do it.

But you also get a bunch of bonus podcasts and a bunch of other fun stuff. But the main thing is that you support your boys. It feels like a treasure hunt. You gotta go through all these. Oh, you do you? You want to suggest a question. Wow. Wow.

Oh, do you? Step one. Give me money. And then we might. And even if we do, that could just happen. Or this could just happen. Hit repeat. See ya.

Bye! See ya.