Plumbing the Death Star - Which Sense Would You Like On a Super Human Level?

Episode Date: February 1, 2026

No one push Zammit and Jackson over! Their elderly knees will shatter. Anyways how bad would you wanna smell? How many senses even are there??Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast where we ask the important questions. Like, there are five senses. Count them. And weep.

I don't know why you'd cry. Anyway, which one would you like on a superhuman level? So obviously, classic superpower. And obviously, this is a Jackson Bailey special. Sniffing's funny. Also, hey, I looked it up. there's eight senses. What the fuck?

Let's see if we can guess the two. I think actually there's a lot more than just five and not more than even eight. There's five. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, we'll talk eight in a second. But Jackson, what are the five? Smell? Yeah. Taste.

Yeah. Touch. Yeah. Yeah. So those are the five traditional senses. Yeah. Sucked off, jacked off. Yep.

Slobbed off? And I want them at a superhuman level. What? Okay, so jacking off is like... Touch. Sniffed off. Seen off. Well, I mean like...

I'm gonna get heard off tonight. What does that mean? Scary movie style. Fucking a human ear. Yeah, right. I mean, also, like, people have done... Look, this is not me speaking. Unfortunately, not speaking from a place of...

Of experience. Of experience. But people are, like, doing, like, drugs off a penis. Yeah. Not unheard of. No, no, no, totally. good platform. Yeah. So that's sniffing a penis. That's true. I would argue it's... I reckon it's snorting off. Yeah, getting snorted off.

No, it's starting a penis where the penis goes all the way off. Okay, so there's a... That felt really... It's a really good snort. Okay, so even though I've looked at, I'm trying to... No, no, no, you shut the fuck up for a second. Because you gotta think, like, when you hear that snort, that's me snorting a human... I can almost hear the human penis going in the... your sinus.

Yeah, I'm like, whoa! Whoa! Don't come in there. Anyway. Go on. Yeah, well, there's like, again, there's a, even though I'm like, oh, there's apparently there's eight senses. Well, there's additional five.

So that's ten. And then suddenly, so ten plus eight? Just ten in general, so it plus five. And then some people are like, what are the 12 types of senses? And I'm like, 12? Well, surely, okay. What's, oh, wait, sense eight makes more sense if there's eight senses. Or are you getting fooled by AI and is talking about sense

say the Wachowski Siblings television program exclusively on Netflix. Sadly caught down that it's prime but then had a movie that I think everyone was mixed to hate it. I believe you're right. I think I watched the first season and I was like, I'm enjoying it, I think. Well, there's a sense of

balance. Yep. There's a sense of space. Uh-huh. Which I believe is different to balance. Uh-huh. Sense of time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to Here's a crazy thing. The 20 senses. Oh my God. How many senses are we?

There are 33? What the hell? Every number you read is bigger. Stop looking. Also, I would say... This is horrible to learn. CET. Come on now, 33. Let's look at. I want to get these 33.

The same number as flavors as Baskin and Robin has. I want to see if we could look at this and be like, is this bullshit? And yeah, you're right. There is as many senses apparently. Is it Barskin and Robbins 34 or is that Dr. Pepper? That's Dr. Pepper, dude. 33, same year that Jesus got crucified. 34, same year as Bowser in Canon.

Yeah, what? It's true. Same year as me currently. Whoa, me too. Just put the phone down. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can keep looking at the phone, just react silently. Oh, come on, okay, okay, how's, how's this? Can I call that bullshit?

Yeah. Yeah, but we haven't even got the thing I was gonna say. He's 33 senses. What about me? And what was like temperature, but it's broken down to hot and cold. Oh, that's one. That's what. Sense of hot, sense of cold.

Well Well, the light's gone Now, that's how angry I am Push the lamp over Blood pressure Blood pressure is not a sense That's a thing What are you doing?

What were you going to say Is Jackson, those three you raised I would say it's very interesting Because the five senses And I'm a five cents Beliefor Yeah, yeah So touch

Uh, taste, Seeing, smelling Hearing, hearing They're all things that like you like you intake balance time and that's all external

yeah that's true but a smell is external that's true but the smell literally goes into your nose hole yeah that's a good point and when you're tasting

you are tasting the outside world that goes into your mouth yeah and when you're hearing it's sound waves coming down to you and fucking sight is light

going into your eyes and touches you stuff touching you so the other ones the other like You know, the senses they're like, is this important? Shalving makes more of a sense.

Makes more sense as a sense. That's going in you. Well, I guess there's, I mean, you could argue shelving is one of these. So balance. Yeah. So the inner ear system again? I guess, yeah. Fair enough.

Body awareness. Shelving. Okay, shelving. Again, you know, knowing. Knowing something's obvious. Knowing where you're, knowing where your body parts are. Okay. So, like, I know where my foot is.

That's great. My foot's right there. Good to fucking line. It's not going anywhere. No, it's not going off to the shops. Do you write where it is. I really need to, retrain my

dialect though because I keep I will refer to shelving as shelving but buffing is way funnier I'm going to start retiring shelving

because I say it a lot you're gonna be shelving on the shelf and bring buffing out of retirement to me though buffing is just like a liquid

shelving to me is a package interesting interesting but if I was like your buff champagne your shelving he's not wrong

if I was to I buff champagne I buff champagne I'm saying, I shall the shoe. Happy New Year. Let me do a shoeie, but not the way you think. In my mind, it's a fancy woman's high heel. Oh, I was thinking a fancy man's dress shoe.

Oh, that's really good. Like, I'm with a bit of a point to it. Hey, everyone, look, I'm about to put this guy's shoe in my ass. No, no, it was going to flip back. Oh, he's swallowed it. It's gone. It's gone completely up. Oh, wow.

Now a champagne chase song. Happy, there's the fireworks going up behind me. Ooh! Oh! This is my New Year's resolution as well. So this is my New Year's face. Wowy-Zowie. Wowy, zowie.

Temperature, another one. Okay. Hot and gold. Heat and cold. That's one. And then pain, detecting tissue damage, and then internal states. So again, the introspection, so sensing hunger, thirst, or needing to breathe. Oh, okay.

I ain't on a superhuman level. Funny. But also isn't pain kind of like touch? Yeah, pain is just like touch to the most extreme. Yeah, it's just bad touch. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Pain is just bad touch and sometimes pain can be kind of good. Yeah. Why is the Bloodhound gang song called Bad Touch? That's about... I don't know, dude. You're the music guy.

You tell me, dude. That's the like, you and me, baby. There's trouble, but I'm trouble, but I'm going to get with a discovery channel. Yeah. Yeah. That song is sort of scary.

Do you know what I mean? It's got a kind of haunted vibe. Do you know what? Do you think that's true? I think when I started paying more attention to the lyrics, I'm like, this actually has a sick five. Like when there's a break in the song where there's horns. And then he says Jimmy Pop, I think that's his name. He's a big fan of Auntie Donner.

So if you're listening, Jimmy, sorry for killing your song. You're probably sick of hearing about it anyway. But also, why the bad touch? Sex to me is a good touch. Well, maybe it's like bad, like as in how Bart Simpson is bad, you know? I don't like the way he said those at the same time. It's funny because also... Well, bad, like how Marge is a bad e.

Yeah, but I mean, sort of like, Bart Simpson is bad in that he's a bad son. Yeah. But he's also... He is the bad son. He's also bad, like how people say sick. Like, and that's bad. I don't think people say that.

I think they did in the 90s. No, I think you're thinking about rad? No. He's bad. That's 90s. Well, then what is bad? A combination of bad and radical. I don't think I've ever heard that phrase before in my life.

That's baddical. Who has ever said that? Badical. Who has ever said? Boots. Cool guys. I don't think any cool guys are saying badical. I'm not looking it up.

I know it in my heart to be true. Well, I look, I disagree. Yeah. Well, anyway, I want to choose balance. That's the one that I want is a superhuman level. Does that mean if someone... That's okay. I'll allow it.

Does that mean if somebody pushes you? you over, you've come back like a clown doll. Oh, like, yeah, like a, what do they call them? Like a bobo doll. Yeah, yeah, I reckon. That's really cool. Or, like, you know, you get pushed, but then as if you fall backwards, you can do a flip.

Oh, yes, okay. Well, true, in like a comic book context, having superhuman balance just gives you like ninja, like you're flipping around and basically do wall rides and stuff. Yeah, that's cool. Would that help you in your, like, day-to-day life? I think I'd fall over less.

How often do you fall over? Not very often, but I think. It's bad when it happens. I'm getting to an age where if I do, it's gonna be bad. I have become scared of falling over also. It's worrying. It is. I'll be on YouTube or Instagram Reels.

Hey, look at Plumming the Death Star on Instagram Reels. Follow us on Instagram for Cliffs. And I'll be watching. Good, smooth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a little subtle sort of plug to throw in there. And I'll be on Instagram Reels and my algorithm, I don't know why it does this, will show me horrible skating accidents. Oh, hell yeah.

That's probably because I follow a whole lot. of meat and America's got no talent and stuff, which is just, yeah, people falling off and getting hurt. Yeah. And I watch that and I go, that's funny. And then I go, any one of those falls would destroy me for, like my kneecaps would burst. Like, I can't fall over anymore. I've passed the point where I can safely fall over.

You should be better at falling over. Why? My bones shouldn't be that brittle yet. It's just, I don't know. My knees, I'm scared off. Again, like, I can. You think you can fall over? Yeah.

Easy. Okay. Balance, like, you can take my balance. Let me fall over heaps. You didn't have no balance. Like, I mean, I could, like, you know, I could sit in the floor across my legs, right? Yes. Something that I didn't realize was something that, like, you either have to keep doing or, like, not everyone can do.

I really fucking hate doing it, but you can still do it. Yeah. Fuck sitting on the floor. I love sitting on the floor. I mean, like, I respect it if it's in a situation where I have to sit on the floor, like, is in, like, I don't know. But you wouldn't pick the floor. If I'm in Japan. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're like, please take a seat. I say, of course. not going to make a, not going to whine about it. Yeah. But yeah, like, in a lounge room, people to sit on the floor into the couch, take the couch. I don't want to sit on the couch with everybody else. Huge.

I like the floor. Yeah, the floor is good. I would prefer to stand than sit on the floor. That's psycho. I actually, like, I would probably go to my preferred state. Like, sitting's fine. Yeah. Let me stand.

Wander around a bit. Just see what's going on. Damn, dude. Well, yeah, the standing is comfortable. Standings. We nailed standing. Sitting, we, like, we're pretty good at. Yeah.

Lying down, yeah, we nailed that. Yeah, that's all good. I like it. Lofing on the floor feels good. Loathing on the floor is good. Loathing on the floor is good. Yeah. Also good.

I don't like sitting on the couch if everyone else is sitting in the couch. I don't want to be touching. I want to be sitting on the floor. We're back. Apparently it's called the bad touch because it's bad pickup lines. But also the singer-rodoch when he was watching Discovery Channel for real. He was getting really upset that monkeys were fucking and he was. He wasn't?

He was. He was right. music and it was like, what about door? What about doing? What about the life? That's really good. Well, I was going to say, I think it was like a few months back when we had, I guess, the, like a little pen, like a fold-out pen you could have for a Johnny Baby.

Yeah. And then we ended up using it, Jackson, and a few of us in a social thing of basically a conversation pit, yeah, reinvented the conversation pit. That was very good. Man, how much did I, like, I wish we could just bring back the conversation pit. The conversation pit's great. Sitting down, sunken lounge. Yeah.

Big fan of that. What's wrong with talking on the couch? It's different. I don't know, it's different. It's different. In the conversation, because on the couch, it's... You're not facing each other? No, it's a matter of space.

Fuck you, bud. I didn't say nothing. I'm on your side of the conversation. You're a really weak flip off. When you flip me off, a very, very weak. Wow. Show me a strong one. What's the fucking...

Yeah, look. Look at his thing. Yeah, see. Jack is right! And also, that was stronger than the way you did before. Was it? Oh, that was so bad. Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, see, look, oh, awful. Give me some tips. Stronger. More conviction. Okay, I'm gonna say, like, straighten your finger, but also like you do it with a bit of force. You're kind of limping it. Yeah, that's a bit better.

Yeah. You were just, yeah, I'm feeling the nasty vibes now. Okay, fair enough. Before you're doing this, Jack. He was like, that is bad. There's a Spider-Man move. It's actually more like a chub-saint. Yeah, you're here flipping himself like a chimp.

Bobo-Wompanana! Oh, you want to sit on the floor and flip yourself like a little baby gorilla. Imagine me if you're going to go to the zoo? Imagine the zoo and the gorilla does flip you off. That would be awesome. Do you tell anyone? Yeah. Who?

Anyone that's... Look, there's a gorilla flipping me off. How sick? If I thought a gorilla was close to flipping me off, but just was holding its hands in a funny way, I would be telling everyone, Girl flip me off. Exactly.

You'd like if it made a noise that would sound like, it was like, oh, I'd be like, well, that was pretty close to Joel. Oh, yeah. I think that gorilla said my name.

That's fair. That is fair. I like the idea as well of us getting a gorilla that, like, it's, I don't know, like, it's a rescue or whatever. And they're like,

it's been trained to flip people off. We can't have this gorilla flipping off families. You know, flipping off babies. We've got to keep it hidden, keep it away from everyone. Keep it PG. Keep it PG.

Yeah. Put it in mittens or whatever. It's carillon bit. Yeah, we're going to give it mittens. It doesn't offend the families. So, um, you're still sticking with balance. And he's become a bobo doll. I just think it would help in just this day-to-day life.

I think, uh, because, you know, yeah, I mean, I know we discussed us before. Yeah. You're going to start park-coring. I reckon you'd would, right? Yeah. This is not wrong. You have taken, you guys. So stupid.

What? No, because you're talking about how you want balance because you're scared of falling over. Yeah. Yeah, what do you think parkour requires effort on? Yeah, but if I have superhuman ability. Superhuman balance. Do you know what balance won't do?

Shock absorb. Oh, he's right. Oh, like, oh, yeah, you could run on a wall, but that's jumping. Imagine what is jumping, if not just falling but intentional? Yeah. It's very funny to imagine you're doing parkour and you like, you like, land on a fence

and then we watch us both your knee can. fly out and we go, oh my God, but because you got perfect balance, you don't fall. He's falling so gracefully. It's like a dying swan. It looks so beautiful, but God, that swan is dead. He's in so much pain. Dead! The moment he lands, you can't live without your kneecaps.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. Maybe just might help me in my day-to-day life. Avoid injury. If you're not doing parkour, then, yeah, I mean, whatever. It's just like you're saving yourself. from trips, you can get out of the shower without fear.

You're getting out of a bath without fear? You can run around the pool. You know what they say? No running. You're going to go. Sorry, pal. I got superhuman balance. All of these things outside of the shower.

Yeah. So like how often are you having a bath? Yeah. Like how fearful are you doing something? You're like, Jesus fucking Christ. We haven't had a bottle all these days. That's good boss. You've got a baby.

Yeah. And I'm like, well, like, yeah, a couple times a week. I'm having a boss. I know you fearful falling out. or falling over, falling out of a bath is harder. Yeah. Not impossible.

It gets rough in there. Strong diets. Right now, no. However, people die by falling in the bathroom. I know, I know. It's in the back of my... Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm not getting younger. Yeah. So, you know. I think it would be useful. I think you'd be glad to have it. But again, just double checking. And it's also, yeah, it's... You got any of the senses...

Spatial orientations. That's kind of nice. Although vision would also, I would argue, probably good. You should pick vision, Jack. Yeah, I have bad eyes. Yeah, dude. That'll be fixed, and then you can see... I can see really good.

You'll be able to see... Yeah, I mean, like, probably, I don't know, find coins. When you have, say, super human vision, say. Now, hold that thought. Yeah. You have to look through some parks and shit to get from here to the train station to get home. You're imagining I go.

Well, okay, I finished work, wrapped up at around 5, 5.10. Okay, before I go home, a little coin searching in the nearby park with my incredible eyes. Bent over at a right angle, looking at the grass. No, I don't think he'd be bent over. Yeah, you just gaze. I just sit on looking like this. Somebody walks by, I go, I'm looking for coins. Yeah, well, you don't need to tell them.

Yeah, they know. Yeah, well, you just don't need to. No one's going to be like, oh, there's a man sitting looking. Yeah, yeah. I need to ask him what he's doing. Well, I'm just proud. Yeah. You lose shit all the time.

I do lose all this shit. I do lose shit all the time. That's true. The superhuman vision. How does that work? Like, if I'm looking at Jackson right now, can I look at him normal style like I'm doing? Yeah.

But then if I could look at him with my, can I zoom by squinting or something? Yeah. You know, one eye focusing. Could I zoom into the paws of his nose? Absolutely. Because you've got superhuman. Yeah.

How does that have? And then I would say, because this is how it often works in like a fucking comic book, you have a superhuman control of your eyes. So you get the aperture of your eye, your actual eye hole. You could, you know, zoom in, zoom out, focus, on focus. That's how I'm looking for coins.

Yeah. So I could do like, if you have superhuman balance, could basically be like those goats that can climb up, like, almost an 89 degree wall. Absolutely. When are you doing that? I would now. Oh, okay. We'd be walking along to be like, give me five seconds and walk up the side of a building.

I go, okay. But also, you don't have the sense of sights. You wouldn't be able to tell what's perfectly. Well, I could give it a try. Yeah, he can feel it with his feet because it's such good. I'd like the idea that it works for a bit and then you get halfway up. You're like, oh, fuck, actually. This is not a very big dog on!

Yeah. The angle goes from 89 degrees to 90 and then you just fall. Would I be good at rock climbing? Yeah. No, I mean, you would be... You would be... You would be... Yeah. Yeah, but, like, what part of balance...

Like, the balancing part is, like, not falling off the rock. Yeah. I suppose actually, with rock climbing, I've only ever done it once. But really, it's about upper body strike. Yeah. I'm aware and, like, dexterity in your fingertips. You know what would be really... I'm also like, I could, you know,

But by having like super human like, I could want a circus, superhuman ballads, I could start rock climbing. Yes. Because I'm already had like a bit of a positive. An advantage, yeah. And maybe, you know, I could like build up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because you would have, you know, you place your foot in a foothold

and you would know exactly where to place your foot to give yourself the best. Yeah. So you could, I think tie rope walking and joining the circus is really the way you're going. Yeah. Because it famously pays well. Well, do you reckon tie rope walking doesn't pay well? Yeah. Yeah, I do.

No way. If you're one ability... What if I'm the world best at it? Yeah. Wait, can I enter the Olympics with this? I don't know. Tighter of walking. No, not tire of walking.

Best balance. What are you balance? I don't know. What are you balancing on the Olympics? Like, could I... Yeah, but you've got to do tricks on it. Yeah. You don't just stand on it and go, whoa.

But now with the best balance, could I start learning how to do tricks and shit? I don't think that having really good balance makes you good at gymnastics. Why not? Yeah. I probably would help. Yeah, it would help, but it would also help you drive a car. Like, I mean, it's not going to... As a 40-year-old man, starting out now, with incredible superhuman level balance,

could I start training to get good for the Olympics? I will take you back to the direction of why you picked balance. Yeah. Which is you are fearful of your brittle, horrible old body. You know, you could probably do. This is not impressive really in the Olympics, but if you did the skating, you're going to stay on the board. Yeah. It's very funny to imagine you're just kind of like, not moving.

Like, is he gonna do any tricks? No, he's not falling off. Just like, like, so like, get someone to push me. Yeah. Because I'm like, I don't know how to your skateboard. Just drop it, but like you are so still as the skateboard is doing its own thing. But yours is staying on it, like a chicken...

It's so funny to imagine like a half pipe, but you just go, woo, woo, woo, hand in my pocket. Come, that's kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, I'd be a brat. What in the Olympics? Like, I'm thinking shooting a gun? That helps?

Probably not. Eyesight, maybe. Eye sight would be good for that. Now, this obviously will not help your fear of destroying your body. Yeah. I reckon motocross. Because a lot of, like, doing tricks on the motorcycle. It's all like balance and weight distribution and stuff like that.

Obviously, you still need to be fit. And obviously, if you come off the bike, that's game. That's all lights out for Joel Zammondon. What a way to go. There's no real, like, you could be, have zero cardio fitness. Yeah. And still, because you're just riding a motorbike. What about, as long as you can do this.

Darts, though. What? Would balance help me? No, side would, though. No, actually, but then it's dexterity. I'm trying to figure out. I'm trying to figure out why you're trying to fucking. Enter the Olympics?

Fame and boring? Why you picked, why you picked, why you picked balance? And then tried to find all of these cool things you could do where you could have simply picked anything. else. I'm surprised Jackson didn't pick sense of belonging because then he'd finally have friends. I don't want friends. That's why I'm picking smell. I can't talk to human beings anymore because they all reek. Everybody smells. Everything is the scumptus.

That'd be nice. I guess you'd have a very individual smell. Yeah. It's just funny to be like you like, I don't know, Johnny baby shits his pants and you go, that stinks. You're like, you're right, you think it stinks to you? It stinks worse to you. Imagine what I'm smelling. I can smell the individual little bits of food there. It's funny to pick smell so I could brag about how bad things smell to me. You can start? Okay.

Yeah. Now, I don't know the feasibility of this, but I think you might be able to get onto it because it's basically like it feels like a carnival game. Okay. Where you could set up like a little tent down near. The river. Yeah, it'd be down to be the river, but next to a porter party, I think. Okay. And you're guessing what people ate?

Yeah. Okay. Goet for it to be like if you're going to ride. Yeah. 20 bucks. Let me guess your shit. Okay. Not guess your shit.

Guess what you have for your last meal. Okay. Now, I like that for this to work, people have to see my border body by the river and my little stall. I'll be like, I'm intrigued. Okay. Could you, rather than make. making this, him having to keep... Smelling you, identifying.

I love my job. The one downside is I have to constantly smell human shit. You could, um, you... Also, there's no reason why the person couldn't lie to you. Like, no, I didn't eat that, actually. Five. I gotta give you 20 bucks. You could, uh, as I say, this is also worse.

If someone like is like, smell my breath, and then you could be like, this is what you at last eight. But is that good or fun for anybody involved? If you were at a fun fair or there was like, let me guess what you smell your breath? You smell your breath? Oh, no, thank you. Hey, you could be, oh, hey, you could be at the, you could work at the airport. Oh, yeah. Sniffing out drugs like a dog.

Oh, my God. Yeah. You could steal jobs from dogs. Yeah, you could have the job of a dog. Yeah. That's pretty good. This one I said, I could go to old folks homes and say who's going to die next. Oh, yeah, smell the cancer or whatever.

Well, you could maybe, you could go before that. Yeah. And then you can make bets with the staff to get some money. You're like, hey, I bet. I bet you a hundred bucks did old granny apples over there. She's going to die first. That's true. They say, who are you again?

I'm the son of one of these fucking geases. I'm the sniff guy. Yeah. My van's out the front. Yeah. I'm Mr. Sniff. What's wrong with that? You know, heard my jingle? I'm Craig Sniff.

I'll sniff. I'll sniff your cancer. I'm Craig Smith. You're going to die soon. You could start a grift. Did we hire you? Yeah. No.

It's pro bono. Yeah, I do this because love of the game. Yeah, and through wages. I film all this for social media. I have a TikTok account called Craig Sniff. And I sniff these old people, tell everyone what he smell like. What's up, guys? This is old Mr. Matheson.

He's going to fucking die. That's just happening. From lung cancer, I reckon. Yeah, it's lung cancer. That guy. Is this a joke? No, no, no, no. You've got maybe two weeks?

Two. No, no, ten days. Ten days. 13, goodbye right now, Mr. Mattson. Call your loved ones. Oh, wait, is that? Oh, you got dementia. You never mind. Who are you again?

Is someone cooking ham? Oh, it's just your fucked up brain. Oh, you smell like ham. You're going to fucking die. It's just somebody eating the ham sandwich. Yeah. I think it's the gentleman behind you're eating a ham. sandwich? No. No, no, no, no.

You're fucking dead. Thanks for something. Thanks for something to my channel. Remember like and subscribe. I'm trying to grow to one million followers. I feel like... I got two. One's your dad. I feel like Craig Sniffs would be someone that you would go see live there, Jackson.

If you were like, hey, if $20 a ticket a guy's going to come out on the stage and then rank the audience from one to 100, because he's on 100 tickets, who smells the best or who smells the worst? I would be there in a second, dude. You tell him you know, we wouldn't want to your ranking? If you're in a room...

Knowing my ranking, just like, subjectively of one guy. Yeah? Yeah. No, but he's Greg sniff. Yeah. He's got the superhuman...

I know, but he still has likes and dislikes. No. I trust him, dude. It's Hippocratic Oath. He's not a doctor. He sniffs old people and tells him they're going to die soon. Hey, and ask!

No, Jackson's right. Hippocratic Oath. Yeah, so like you go there. He's an ethical sniffer. Yeah. Like, he's only the ethical sniffer because there's no other sniffers. Yeah, still ethical.

Still ethical. An unethical sniffer would be like, I could be like, I'm Joel the snores. Yeah. And I'm sniffing and ranking people too and telling people who's going to die, but I don't actually have any power.

Yeah, exactly. Unethical sniffing. And also they're going to die. I'm going to just take the worst two years. I just came here to see where I was in a rank. Yeah, yeah, 100 and two years. Oh, my God. I think you could be great.

You could do a grift. Yeah, but I love the idea of being rags. Yeah. Because like, as long as I'm not lost. Whoa. I feel so superior. No way, dude. If I'm like, if I'm like in the bottom 30, that's bad.

I'm so glad that we're talking about this because I was literally about to, before we interrupted ourselves, which is unbelievable. What the hell? I'm plumbing the death star? I'm plumbing the desktop. I was like, yeah. What would be the lowest number you'd accept? I... Now, this is crazy.

Yeah. But I think because if I found out I smelt bad, it would wreck my life. It's okay. Forever. Yeah, no, I'm with you. But at what point? I think I would have to clear 50. If it's 100?

Yeah. I would, but it wouldn't ruin my life if I got, like, say, 60. Yeah. But if we start to get to like 70 out of 100, that's what I'm ranking, I'm like, yeah. So wait, is 100 the stinkiest guy? Yeah, yeah. So best. 99.

99. Because then I look at stinky number 100 and I go, at least I'm not this guy. It would be so funny. It's like down to like 97. Nonplast. And then it gets like 99 and just points the guy next to you. And then I'm 100. Oh, that would ruin my life.

But if I'm 99, I go, well, I got this guy to feel superior to. You're in the stinkiest. That's crazy. You're in the top 2% of worst smelling guys. This is the stinkiest guy at Greg Sniff's life performance. And they go, you're the second sinkiest guy. I go, yeah, but I'm not this guy. I think I would prefer to be the stinkiest

than the second stinguest. Why is notable? You're not even good at being stinky. Yeah, you fucked that up. No. Number 99 is the dream position. I think I'm with JD here. I think anything sub-sevity?

Yeah. My life maybe has been ruined. I'm like, I'll accept so you know 68. I'm like, no, no, I would not. I wouldn't accept anything below 50. Like, I wouldn't be happy about it, but I reckon I could laugh off between 50 and 60. And then it starts with getting way too real.

Sub 70, I'm getting experimental smell-changing surgery. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What are you picking? Sub-70, I'm good like. Yeah, like, Botox on every single one of my paws. I'm no longer, I'm a smooth boy that does not sweat or stick. And I'll buy it very soon.

You know, I feel like having zero smell would make people very uncomfortable for reasons they couldn't explain. Don't know why. Don't know why. I don't like being around Zamin anymore. I can't explain it. Isn't his smooth balls? He's giving me Uncaddy Valley for smells. I think, yeah, if I someone's like, oh, you're like, and you're 64, I'm like, no, I don't like that.

You're 53? Even that, I'm like, hmm. What are you talking about? If I'm 43, something, I'm happy. If you're in the top 50. No, I'm not. Oh, sorry, no, I've got it backwards. Nevertheless, nevertheless, think about the amount of people believe.

amount of people below you. Doesn't matter. You're fine. Nah. What about if you were in the top five? That would freak me out. If they guys said you're the best smelling person here, I can say, there's no way that's true. Craig Sniff is a fraud.

No. No, no, brag. Bragg. Yeah, Briggs. Briggs. I think Dushar initially said Craig and then I said Greg and I said Greg and I go to Bragg. The Sniff brothers have conned the plumbing boys once again.

Yeah. Craig and Craig, they are the best noses and athnise the three of them because they can triangulate. I like to imagine nice. This, the scenario I'm imagining here is we're on a trip. I don't know why, to Vegas. Yeah. And we're like, we got to see Craig sniff. But then all of us heard it slightly wrong and have gone to different shows.

You catch Bragg Sniffs show? No, I was a Craig, Greg Sniff show. Oh, I said Craig. It was Bragg. I was number 99. Felt pretty good. I was five. I was like 38, which was like not funny or interesting.

That's good. That is good. I think like, yeah, the top 10, being in the top 10, I think that's not be alright. I would come out with like the opposite or feel like a piece of garbage. I would have such an inflated ego. Oh, that's so funny. Best smelling man in Las Vegas. That's nothing I could control.

It's like actually nothing on me. And yet I would feel so superior. I think it would just say, wouldn't even make me feel. I'll say, pure, I'd just be like, I never need to worry about that again. Like, I mean, I just, whatever I'm doing, whether it's just, like, using soap and putting on deodorant, that's been enough that I'm... You're nailing it. You're nail you.

Yeah, I would, my head would be so high. Where, if I'm, like, making, like, I'm showering every day and cleaning properly, putting on deodorant and then find out I'm bottom tan? Oh. Well, yeah, because... I am walking... I'm finding, like, a big trench coat. I'm pop on that collar, and I am hunched over, like, the hunchback of Notre

and I'm going a beeline to the sewer. I'm going to live my miscreant life. Guess I'm a sewer man. Because I'm just like, yeah, there's no point. Live with your peers. Human shit. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm a fucking turtle now or whatever. I think if I got... If I got 99, I would have to smell 100. To be like... To get a sense of... Just so in case you're veering too close to 100? Well, yeah, it'd have to be like, well, if he smells like this, How, what do I smell like?

And you want to smell 98 as well. Yeah. Honestly, I'd have to smell everyone. To be honest, I'd love to smell one as well. Yeah, yeah. What's so good about one? Yeah, exactly. Here's a question for the smell rankings from the Sniff Brothers.

Is one the best smelling or the least smelling? It's the best smelling. It's from best to worst. Okay, okay. Well, I'm just going to say. Because you're saying the least smelling is uncanny valley. Yeah. That's true.

The least smell. They get the hell out of there. That's Joe Zeman on his second visit after getting ranked. Exactly. 65th, and he clunged up every ball and came back to try and boost his ranking. And then they're just like, you know, you're not included. You have no sense. You have no sense.

I don't like this at all. Greg Sniff. It hates it. The idea of, yeah, just like Joel Zemitt fully encased in silicon. It was like, the Sniff brothers hate to see him coming. You can't tell you, guys. I can't. Call me, just call me the odorless man.

I think he should have gone somewhere, not at the... I think either way it was going to be bad, but... He could have just, I don't know... Rank him 80. He could have really just, I don't know, water, different deodor or something, I don't know. Yeah. That's also bad though, because like, say you get like 38.

Yeah. And the Sniff brothers come back to town six months later, you're like... I'm going to go again. Yeah, just to see for... Well, it's... It's only 70 bucks a ticket. What if I... Yeah.

Now, the Sniff brothers, are they requesting, say, is it like a, you know, no deodorant? Is it your natural idea? It's a good question. Or is it like you can wear after shave, you can wear dieter, you can wear like, you can roll around and whatever you want to do. Well, I think you'd have to jazz it up because,

I mean, I guess you can smell nice naturally. Because I think if I'm like, again, if I'm ranked 100 or whatever, or no, that would kill me. If I'm ranked like, yeah, 64th, but I'm wearing a deodorant or an after shave or something like that, then I'm like, oh, it must be that, right? If it's just all natural, like, fresh out the shower. Yeah.

Like, you've washed us. with just water, no soap for some reason. Oh, you can get fragrance-free soap. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, so maybe... The Sniff Brothers' requirements. And they will know. The Sniff Brothers convention takes place at a hotel.

Convention. Yeah. Seminar. The Sniff Brothers seminar. It's in a hotel. So every single person has to take... Like, they go there, they have a fire... Let's say they've got 10 minutes in the shower.

Okay. with fragrance-free soap. Sniff Brothers branded, fragrance-free snow. Every single person uses the same soap. Mm-hmm. I said snope. Yes, that's okay. It's a great website. Yeah, really good.

So, then they all have a shower, use the same soap. That's way worse if you've read. Like, if it's that and I rank sub-40. Yeah. But also if I rank low, I go, well, there's nothing I can do, right? The tip of that's bad. You can use a geotro.

Yeah, yeah. That's true. And thankfully, the Sniff Brothers, they sell the best-smelling deodorants. Just because something can't be changed, like your general smell, doesn't mean that it feels good to find out it sucks. No, of course. But I would be like... Well, no, for you, you don't care.

Allegedly. Let's he don't care. You could change that. If with odorless soap, I'd wash my body head to foot, butt, balls, feet, everything is sparkling, dude. Sparkling like a kitchen countertop. And then I go in and the Sniff Brothers go, You are the worst smelling man.

Out of the 100 people here, I say, there's something fundamentally wrong with my body. Yeah. Well, now as a sniff brothers, I can see an obvious gap in this market. You're like, well, I can make you smell great. Yeah. And yeah, you use the sniff brothers, you know, patented,

like, you know, our soap, our deodor, and our perfume. Or maybe what they should do is. Or, like, maybe it's due with diet. Because we can smell and we know exactly what you, you know, what contributes to someone smelling rank. And, you know, your diet is. contributing to that and it's really bad.

You should stop eating all that rotten meat. Yeah. I don't know about that. Why do you eat all this rotten meat and bug flesh? I don't know about that. Someone said it was a good diet. Yeah, it's good to get the shits or whatever. Because the diarrhea gets out the bad stuff that's in you. It's a cleanse. And if you're not having diarrhea, that means...

What's the point? It means it's staying inside you so you have diarrhea. It's bad to push. Yeah, so you don't push. I heard. So diarrhea just falls out. Yeah, they said that the guy is talking to say, the natural stay your stomach should be slightly quivering. And you should constantly have a healthy, pale sheen

and a kind of cold sweat, is what he was saying. And now to find out, as I roll into the Sniff Brothers seminar for the criminally sentenced, that I'm ranked last. I'm trying trying really hard this year, my New Year's resolution was to finally get on top of my health. Exactly. And as you can see it by the, like,

The color of my skin. They're so pale and sickly looking. I've got these spots now. I don't know what that's about. I was told it's good. I was told it's good by the guy. The guy who allegedly said, hey,

want some advice. Cold sweats. Yeah, so I don't know. This is crazy to be. A man who maybe hated you, I'm guessing. We had a, yeah, a vendor. Yeah, that was for advice from a ghoul like spooked. Yeah. Okay, well, hey, you live and learn, I suppose.

Anyway, I would pick hearing and then I would just like go to Canberra, stand near parliament, listen for government secrets. Oh, yeah. Okay, smart, because someone just clapped. You'd like, ah, god, dead forever. That would just hurt, wouldn't be deaf. Do you think, do you reckon you'd get overwhelmed by listening into other people's conversations? I mean, it's the same as the site thing that you just described. I mean, 20 to 30 minutes, yeah.

Yeah. Just hitting on a park bench, you go and run in that direction. Except you don't have superhuman size, so you don't know where. Why don't you probably pinpoint with your sound? Well, I guess it's also funny. Just something like listening to people's pockets and using it to pick pocket people. I can hear a fat wallet. Yeah, listening to people's pockets,

you can tell how much money they have in their pocket. Then you can go up to them and be like, was that $4.50 notes suddenly rubbing on each other? If I can guess how much money's in your pocket. You have to give it to me. Can I have it? Come on. Yeah. Yeah, so you're basically like a daredevil, like, hearing, but you can also see.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just know flips and shit. Yeah, I mean, that is pretty good. Yeah, and then, like, selling secrets or whatever. Yeah, sure, it makes me a trade over the country or whatever, but I don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. It would only be bad if I heard stuff where I was like, hmm, if I sell this, that will result in the country I live in going to war. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's funny to imagine you as a guy who just hangs out outside of parliament. Yeah, and also I would hear great gossip. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was to say, like, where are you, yeah, hanging out, you're going to hang out, like, you know, in parliament. Because I'm like, all the, like, the wheels and deals that are happening in, in terms of, like, political. Are they in parliament? Probably not. Is it happening in, like, you know, the bar close by?

Yeah. I mean, like, you know, like, where are they eating out? Like, where are they going to, like, having a coffee or whatever? Maybe I just park there and have a quick listen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, because you could also. You just got to be a guy, you know, a man about town. You'll pick up on so much stuff.

Oh, right. And also, I don't need entertainment anymore. I can just go out and listen to Goss. Also, like, you could, not just with Parliament, but like anything in terms of trading, like something shit, like hang out. Also, I don't really not understand how old work. Robbing people, or robbing businesses would be so easy. Do you know how often people would just say a code for something out loud?

I'll be up here. Yeah, that's a good point. Hey, the safe code is this, this, this, this is this. Tell X and I'll be like, I heard that and I go, interesting. Time to break in and still offer supply. Yeah, that's what's in the safe. Staples. Yeah.

What the fuck? If the staplers are in the safe, that must mean the money. And then you open a drawer of just somebody's office. Yes. You tried the old switcheroo. So you go into a place, presumably they've got cameras and stuff, and you steal their staples, and then you find their money and take that. How are you getting away? Or are you trying to...

Well, I mean, it doesn't really matter. Like, in the same way that people just rob a store. Yeah. Except that I just, they would be less of like a run-in, like, craziest. Yeah, you got to, I guess you got a mask up. Yeah, you got to wear a bellic-loss. Yeah, yeah. But you can also probably, with superhuman hearing,

you can hear which, like, security cameras are on the fritz. You can hear, like, you know, very specific details. Buzzing and stuff. You could hear it. You could hear it. I guess, yeah, you're going around to, like, you're trying to find, like, it's, like, it's, like, yeah, where it's, like, yeah, very low security.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty good. I think like at a regular, like, at a bank or something like that, if you can go into like, you know, the place where, like, a lockbox. Yeah. But, like, everything is a key. I mean, because you could, you know, if anything was like a combination lock, you could break into that.

That's true. So where do they use a combination locks where you're not really being supervised? Yeah. A lot of pretty much every single business will have a safe that has a combination. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen into there. At least, ever I've worked in the past, outside of here, money on site at a podcast studio, that would be crazy.

That would be insane. Yeah, what places can you, you know, have unsupervised, basically, access to the museum? I don't think you have unsupervised access there. I reckon if I was to list the top five most secure buildings, the museum would probably... Fair off, up there. If not fifth, like in the top five, definitely six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You probably, I mean, like, I don't know if you want to do this.

It seems like you want to rob places, but you could do the same thing that I'm doing with sniffing and hear people's internal, like, kind of organs and see how they're going. And if somebody's got an arrhythmic heart beat or whatever, you could be like, that sounds bad. I go, I befriend them. Yeah. Become their best friend. I can hear their fucked up heart. Become their best friend.

They put me in the wheel and they go, boom! And then they have a heart attack and they die. That's really good. And you go, Officer, I was just scared him. Officer, how the fuck could I know that their heart was about to explode like that? Yeah. Even though I'm a fright. It does seem suspicious as they changed their will yesterday.

Yeah. But check. Jack, I'm just been their best friend for years, you know? It's crazy that no one has told me that the heart has exploded, and I just guess. Oh, I'm just talking. I understand I'm on the phone right now and you haven't even seen the body. I'm just an innocent bias, a friend of the man. I'm just a friend of the man, and I know you didn't know I was in the will till I told you either.

And did the will change yesterday. It doesn't matter about it. Anyway, my best friend just died from exploded harm. Okay, and I'm, well on the other than I'm coming. I was going to say with you, Jack, in, in, I guess you could do the same thing. It's like it's a griff, but it's not really a griff

because you actually are doing this. It's again when people need to have like a diagnosis or something. You could diagnose them. That's true. Become a doctor. You know, become like, not even a doctor,

but you could also, you could just become like, just as long as you don't say doctor, I think you're fine. I just become like an alternate medical practice. Oh, I see. Like a guru. Let me heal you through hearing.

Yeah. You put your ear in your ear to the belly and you're like, um, diarrhea. And I go, that makes you got the shit. Being like, yeah, I'm a, you know, I just help people diagnose whether or not they're about to have diarrhea. Diarygnosis. Jolders just diarrhea agnosis.

Yeah, there it is. Yeah. But did you, let me say, did you eat a, did you have like a gas station sandwich? Yes, I did. Yeah, yeah, that'll do it. I dropped a little floor of my car that I picked up and ate it. Why? You think that's going to be a problem?

I like the way you're doing it. Was like John Edwards cold reading. Like you step out, there's a big crowd. You go, okay, I'm feeling. I'm hearing this sandwich dropped. Yes, I dropped the sandwich, okay? And I'm hearing, I'm hearing diarrhea. Oh my God.

Pickles? Ham. Cheese, cheese, cheese. And the ham got a bit of dust on it, but you said five second rule and you brushed it off. Yeah. How does he know? I can just hear that good. Just hear that good.

And you would have to shoot yourself. south in three, two, one. Get that person out of here. He's so cool. Joel Dush is crossing over. Hearing over. It's funny if you are there to do psychic readings, but you just keep getting diarrhea. I'm sensing off clams. Yeah. I'm sensing like seafood. I'm hearing, I'm hearing, I'm hearing diarrhea. Yeah, I have diarrhea.

Yeah. Is it? Is it? You're sensing, like, seafood. Yeah. I'm hearing. I'm hearing diarrhea. Yeah. Is it. Is it? You have some off-clans? Yes. You are a bit sad. You can tell what they ate, which is impressive. I just really, really, really like the idea of, like, listening. I'm being, I'm hearing upset some... Diarrayers?

Anyone here who got diarrhea and the whole crowd puts a hand up? Oh, okay. This is about to be really bad. There's only two toilets in the field, dude. Okay. I sort of feel like just being near this many people with diarrhea is going to to give me diarrhea. I don't know if that's how it works,

but that's just my feel. Let me tune in, I just hear like a deafening gurgling coming from 100 people with diarrhea. Hey guys, I reckon show over. Show over, we'll try again.

This is a statistical anomaly. I don't know how this happened. That's like it turns out it was a curse in exchange for getting psychic powers. Every single time I interacted the crowd of people. They have diarrhea.

Every person I interact with in my life from now on has diarrhea. This isn't really a... It's not a curse for you. It's a curse for others. If you knew that every single person you interacted with the rest of your life has diarrhea? Yeah, it would suck. Sex becomes scary. I was going to say, as a crowd, funny.

People I'm just having a chat to, very funny. Because I'm like, I'm going to keep talking. I know they need to shit real bad right now. But then like anything, I was like, oh, intimacy issues. Yeah, that's a good point. Sex, you know, go slightly too hard, diarrhea on the bed. Not of it slightly too hard. Just like if you go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, like, touching people that becomes scary because, like, you don't know what magic diarrhea they have. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. You can't share a meal with anyone anymore because they're not hungry because they've got diarrhea. You got to order a meal? Yeah, yeah, the person's taking the orders. They're running away.

Oh, yeah. Anytime you interact with a server. They've got diarrhea. Like, I'm sorry. Do they get diarrhea or do they have diarrhea? Is it like just somehow statistically you go up to talk to someone and they earlier that day started to have diarrhea? Or is the moment you go, eh, they go, oh, oh. I think that it's probably...

Proximity-based? It's proximity-based. But they don't necessarily get diarrhea in the sense. It's not like that I walk within five minutes of them and they just shit their pants. Yeah, yeah, they just get the... They're rumble, the beginning of diarrhea. Yeah. Like, that's a good superpower if you can turn it off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, diarrhea. Bad name. I like that. Very bad name. Mr. Diarrie. No. Doctor Diary. Is it bad?

Is it a plane? No, it's Mr. Slop shit. To err is human, to diarrhea divine. Then Batman shits himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think Batman can't prepare for that. No, no, no, no. I like to imagine that to use these powers, it would be like 11 and stranger things,

just holding that. your hand and get the blood nose. Oh, man. Do you think in a fight, say you're fighting Batman. Yeah, okay? You've given Batman diarrhea. Yeah.

Does Batman just diarrhea himself and keep fighting you? Batman does? I think if you were doing, say, Robin, it would be far funnier. Because he's got little shorts. Wonder Woman, same problem. Yes, dude.

Batman just diarrhea's his pants. Batman just goes, yeah, and keeps going. The boy Wonder, Like, he can't. He's like, oh, no. You know who else I think would be upset if you gave him diarrhea enough that that'd probably leave the fight?

Superman. Yeah, I think you're right. Spider-Man, too. Yeah. Wolverine, you're getting gutted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's shitting himself. Yeah.

So you have the last long. You die with a smile on your face. He shit, Logan. Do it be good to give diarrhea to Professor X? Oh, yeah, dude. He's just shit his wheelchair. Yeah, that's great. Colossus?

Oh, but. Colossus, can you be out now? The problem. The problem with Professor X is. He could just give you diary of that. That's true. No, I know with Professor X, he's like, oh, hmm. You shit yourself, and I have not.

That's true. Everybody? Professor X did not shit themselves. This is so embarrassing. I shat Professor X's chair. Oh, fuck, I'm so... Sorry for shit in your chair, Bob. Wolverine sat my chair, and he shat all over it, like the animal he is.

My ex-man Wolverine shat my pants. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah, so I guess like, hey, we all picked great sense. I agree, dude. We didn't even talk about being able to taste at a superhuman level or feel. Well, I mean, like the two things that you wanted to talk about before we did the episode, that could tell. When you picked this was sniffing at superhuman level and probably tasting. interview around. And I'm happy to not explore

those things. Fair enough. Very, very quickly. Like, feeling would be really bad because every moment would be agony. And I guess taste, I guess, you could go one or two ways, really. If it's like, okay, everything tastes, you can break everything down. But I don't know

if that's good. Is that really good? Or you're like, yeah. Well, because, like, if, like, you put salt and pepper on things, or like, just garnish things because of taste work a good together. So I don't want to, like, be like, oh, I'm eating fucking, let's say spaghetti bolognese, and I'm like, oh, individually, like, break down the, I can taste, the wheat, and I can taste the flour,

and I can also taste the salt, and I can taste the tomato. You want to taste it all together. That is true, that is true, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or are you tasting it altogether, but at a superhuman level? But that's kind of what I was hoping. You go, I'm tasting spaghetti in a way you've never experienced, and I'm experiencing new flavors. I think that, like, something like spaghetti, I think you're just opening yourself up to, like,

you're experiencing things on the level that no one's ever experienced it before, but with taste, because taste has preference and, like, intensities and stuff like that. I think you're just going to wreck everything you like for yourself. Yeah, you might be right, dude. You might be right. And, like, with taste, like, I don't think you could,

I don't know how if you could griff that. Also, like... Taste people's cans? I think you're going to say taste people's cans. Tastes like... For that, you have to lick them. Yeah, go to the... Hey, I'm Dr. Lick.

Go to the old folks at them. Lick the old people. Let me lick you now. I'll tell you what she's going to die. You're on her list. I just, you're on to have superhuman licking powers. I mean, taste. I mean, taste you could also suck in.

Yeah. What? Yeah, you could go outside, taste the air and then figure stuff out from that. If you breathe in a smell, you can taste it. Yeah, exactly. So, I mean, I guess that means. But also, taste is smell. Yeah.

It means if somebody shits the pants, I tasted. It's actually probably not. I guess you're tasting the particles. I step outside and I taste nothing but dog shit. Yeah, dude. I taste every shit a dog is taken that day within a 50-mile radius. And I go, yeah, yeah. Obviously, people are making nice food and there's nice taste,

but it's really overwhelmed by the dog shit. That's not even counting the bird shit. Yeah. Or just dirt. Just basic dirt. I'm tasting all the cars. Dogs. Oh, God.

You live in the city, right? You're like, no, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's the taste of Melbourne. Every morning you wake up, you open your door and you go, I should kill myself. At least with touch, you could be like, well, I could utilize that and be, you know, I could be a good lover. Yeah, that's true. You know, I'm very in tune.

You're very sensitive. Yeah. So you could like, you know, with touch, you can be like, well, I can sense when certain things are happening. Like, oh, I can sense the change in pressure. So I know where it's going to rain or whatever. And when it rains and it touches my skin, it is agony. I'm like, raise the blades on my skin. Yeah.

Or like maybe like a strong gust of wind. It's like getting paper cut all over your body. Exactly. And then imagine you trip over. Death. That's where this all started. Agony. Exactly.

Agony. Pure agony. Yeah. Well, look, great senses. This episode turned out like how I wanted it to. Yeah, that's good. I'm very satisfied. Everyone had diarrhea and we're hearing and smelling.

It was a diarrhea-heavy episode, but when are they not? It's just nice when the, you know, the content. Yeah. mirrors the quality. They're not talking about fucking so much in this one. And so that means they pivoted me. There are other favorite topic, diarrhea. I love Plumming the Death Star.

It's just very funny. Yeah, diarrhea is funny, dude. Hey, if you love Flumming the Death Star, why not head to Sand Spence Radio and sign up to the Bad Brain Boys Plus, where you just get a whole bunch of extra shit for not that much money. Exactly. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson.

And I've also been Joel. Yeah. And you can find more of me, Joel. at Doche 13 on Instagram or a doucheer at Letterboxed. And you can find more of me at Hames Forever on Instagram, I think. And just Jackson Bailey on Letterbox.

I have a sensible one. Jackson underscore Bailey. I think I'm just either J. L. Zamet or Joel Zammett on letterbox. And I think I'm goddamn at Zamet on Instagram. There you go. Hell yeah. And after this episode, why wouldn't you want to see what? I know. Yeah. I know. You can be like, oh, what are the three diarrhea boys

doing in their personal lives? Watching movies and standing outside or some shit. In a way, we are the Sniff brothers, you know? Yeah. In a way. In a way. Craig, Greg. Craig.

Sniff of the, sniff of their way through life. Yeah. That's beautiful. It's a good time to sniff. Anyway, see you next week. Bye! Unless this was the last episode. This was your final straw.

Then, hey, thanks for listening.