Plumbing the Death Star - Which Would Be The Worst Animal To Be Werewolf'ed Into?

Episode Date: July 12, 2026

There's a lot happening in the studio as we attempt to answer the beautiful question put forward by a beautiful listener, Gavbeans. While contemplating the worst animal to get werewolf'ed into the boys get distracted by night swimming, the concept of eating pizza on a boat, if a wasp can make night moves and how come Jackson hasn't had his mouth fingered by a stranger in his sleep. Zammit goes aquatic and gets confused and possibly angered by salt and fresh water animals, JD goes tiny and comes across his biggest hurdle: windows. And Jackson just wants to find somewhere warm and get stuck in the walls. Be weary of flat sheep, avoid getting the chair twice and don't worry about our dog in the pipes. They're just hungry.Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+

Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. Pluming the Death Star is a comedy, pop culture podcast, and ask the important questions, like, which would be the worst animal to be werewolfed into? Now, this is a listener suggested, suggested question. This comes from Gab Beans in the Discord.

Hey, congratulations, you earned this for talking. Oh, my God. It's just on, it's an honor to be nominated. That's a YouTube-only riff. We got a lot of exclusive riffs out there. We got real exclusive riffs. Some riffs you only get if you're seeing this. And that sound you heard was Jackson sitting back on the microphone.

Remember, you too can submit a question. If you sign off for the bad brain boys. And if we like the question enough, we will answer it. You can bonus content, a bunch of other stuff. And speaking of bonus content, yeah, that sound was Jack. The microphone was... Jackson. It won't up me.

Very briefly. That would be really bad because these have like pop lockers on them that are wind sucks that are so absorbent. You gotta think there's away from me because I can unscrew it. Give me the trophy back. I was thinking

were the worst things to be bitten by. Initially I was... I'm fixing it. No, he did something that was bad. Anyway. Oh, Jackson did something. Yeah, it just looked. I got a corner of my eye.

Like, it looked like, basically it looked like he ripped his own penis off. Out of the corner of my eye. He lifted his leg and it looked like he ripped his dick off. Okay? That was what I got out of the corner of my eye. But he was sitting on his little squishy peanut. That's kind of like white-flash-flash-flash-flash-flash-flash-th. It happens if I'm sitting on my squishy peanut.

He doesn't mean my dick on balls. It's just... Anyway, I was thinking... 700 episodes, Jim, still good. Yep. I was thinking, but the worst things get bitten by. Yeah. And then get turned into every month.

Yeah. So we're doing a werewolf rules. The animal has to bite you. Yeah. And then every full moon... You become this animal for 24 hours. Yeah. So I was thinking something aquatic.

Oh, that is bad. Because I think that's going to be pretty bad. Yeah. And I was like, well, there are animals that are aquatic that you can maybe, like, at least run to the water or flop. to the water. It's like an octopus. I'm like at least I can, they can go on

land for a big skedaddle. Yeah, exactly. They're a big skedaddle. So like that, that'd be okay. So I was thinking either some sort of dolphin or a whale. Whale is bad because you'll wreck your house. And die. And die by suffocation. Or dynamite.

Also to be bit by whale. What am I doing? Where am I? We're out, you know... It's the full moon. I'm like, boys, time to go deep sea swimming. Not time to go night swimming, fellas.

You're just like on the surface, trotting water. And then you just get up and you go... Look at me! Look at me! I'm a krill! Because, like, a whale's mouth is like that baleen. And those, I believe, are like, lots of tiny individual hairs. You'd just be like pin-cunned across your middle. Wow, I'm feeling something weird underneath. I think it was a bad night for night swimming.

Watch Exammit get picked up by a whale flailing in its mouth and then push into the water. Start the boat, do you show. Start the fucking boat. We were never here. Why am I scared of legal trouble? Because it's a hard one to explain to the point where it would seem like we've... That's a good point. Yeah, it's hard to go to the police and go, I think our friend got eaten by a way or we decided to go night.

swimming and he got bitten. As opposed to just like, I don't know, coming back to land, this is San's one boy. Yeah. What happened to Joel? Oh, I don't know. Who? He's only ever been one.

I'm Joel. But here he's fine. He's doing good. I guess he's right. Watching Zabbe get picked up by the whale and looking over on the boat where I've got my very thin javelins. People being looking at his body with the pinpricks in them. It's a coincidence.

This looks bad. I think you're gonna say, like, your thin javelins, which are no match for a whale. And then I'm like, it's really funny to go back to land sans one boy. And they're like, did you, were you hunting whale? Yeah. Yes, dude. I read, I was trying to do Ahab. I was trying to do what we did.

I got a harpoon. Okay. I thought it would be fun. Yeah, I thought it would be a gas. But surely, okay, getting bitten by whale crazy. But if you know it's coming, how would you know it's coming? Well, I mean, I, honestly. Otherwise, it's like, yeah, it's a beached whale.

And it's like, boys, there's that whale that's still apparently alive on the beach. Let's go, like, poke it or whatever. Let's go Jona mode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to get in the whale's mouth. Being like, yeah, you fellas ever heard of ambergris? That's just worth millions. Yeah, man, we've got to get some.

Yeah. Still alive bites me. Oh. Oh, yeah. How would you know what's coming? You wouldn't. You wouldn't. I think that a whale might be one of the rare aquatic animals

where you do know what's coming. Because a whale is really, really, really fucking big. Yeah. No, but I mean, how would you know you're going to transform? That's what I mean. How would you know you'd been bitten by a magic whale? You would know when a whale's comments. Exactly.

I understood that a whale has bitten me. I'm not like, boys. Went for a famous knight's mine. And then someone picked me off. I don't know what the fuck happened. Get slated into the water. Swimming up. What was that?

That wave was crazy. Do you have your eyes closed that all time? Yeah, I don't know. I was thinking about, I don't know. We were going to have a dinner, some spaghetti, maybe something seafoody. Like, I don't know, like a marinar pizza. Yeah, dude. Pizza on a boat, dude?

Pizza on a boat. I would love to be on a boat with you guys. I'd love to eat a pizza. And think this is how we forget. Yeah. People go, do anything happen? Interesting happen on your night swim? No.

We had pizza in a boat. You're bleeding. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Fucking our boat's gone. Because, yeah, it's like the very first turn after you've been, like, you know, wear bitten is often a very crazy experience.

Yes, you're not expecting. And if I'm there, you know, I look at like, oh, moon's looking pretty, blah. And then like a giant flipper. What happened? The bottom jaw becomes a baline. Oh, my, oh. Oh, no, boys. Oh, shit.

Magic wahu. Magic wail. I like to imagine the first thing it happens is you just get a blowhole in the top of your head. Guys, guys, guys. Put a hot dog in. Okay. All right. Oh, we killed him.

We killed him with the hot dog. We killed him. Drive. We're going to get out of here. Oh, I touch my brain. And also I can't breathe. Well, how far away are we from the sea here? I love wild.

And how, what kind of whale as well? I mean, honestly. What's the one? Yeah. Yeah. What's the one with the big, like the big baline, I was thinking. The big, I believe that's a blue whale. That's the largest whale in the world. So I live near like a pool, but it's not that big. And it needs to be salt water.

Also, yeah. You get in. Does it need to be salt water? Yeah. Why? If you get, what? I'm a whale. I breathe air.

What? What? Okay. Yeah, get in the chlorine pool. That'll be awesome for you. Some animals need salt. Why? I don't know.

It's not breathing the water. It's not got nothing to do with the breathing. Okay. You know how there's fresh water and salt water? Or maybe you don't. Salt water animals. Yeah. And some require salt.

Isn't that just where they're found? No. It's what they need. They're biological makeup. I understand this with fishes. I get this with fish and things that breathe underwater and need that. But why can't I get a fresh water, like a freshwater crocodile? Yeah.

And I pick him up and I dump him into ocean. Does he just like what? Does he die? Yeah, I think it kills him. I don't know. Is he a fucking witch? I'm not a fucking water biologist. Is it just like, is it just uncomfortable?

No, I believe that the way that a saltwater animal's biological makeup is, is that their skin, and I'm guessing part of their digestive system, converts the salt. So it's basically the opposite of what would happen to what. Like how we probably can't just live in a big salt bath. How it eventually, like, dehydrates us. But 24 hours, right? Or 12 hours, I'm away. I mean, also, you've got to remember that chlorine is poison.

Yeah. Chlorine will kill you. Yeah. Yeah. But if I'm in like, oh, here's like, I don't think we can even take you to a lake. Or, like, I don't know, get a big, I don't know, seal up a house and get the hose in there. Like, yeah, what if I'm hoax? Okay, this feels like I've had this conversation before.

What if I start hosing a fresh water crock with this regular tap oil? It'll be okay for a bit. I don't know about with crocodiles That, I'm confused What other fresh and saltwater animals are there? I understand fish, I get fish What's the difference in your mind? Because they are living there constantly

Yeah So are whales I don't know I'm just imagining it's to do with the air So are dolphins So I don't get the mammals That are It doesn't compute in my brain

Yeah, what are the I guess that's just whales and dolphins Whales Dolphuses and Crocodiles Turtles Turtles, true The salt water and freshwater Water turtles. Yeah. Yeah. So what happens if I get... Yeah, what happens? I don't know. I don't think it's good. Like, it can't kill them straight away. No, but I think basically if you put a saltwater animal in freshwater and freshwater and freshwater, and I didn't look that up, I got distracted. Nice. Which is why I shot my laptop again. Another visual...

But I believe my understanding is that if you put a freshwater animal, sorry, a saltwater animal and fresh water, it basically slowly poisons them. Uh-huh. Yeah. Like, because they're pulling, like, their skin and stuff is pulling fresh water, expecting salt. Uh-huh. And their body is still processing salt, but it's not there. Okay. Which I think then makes them see. Osmo regulation. I was like, yeah, it's the hot osmosis area, like salt, high salt concentrate, low salt concentrate, semi-permule membrane.

Let's see if trash water animals have bodies that are saltier than the water around them. Because of osmosis, water constantly flows into their body. through their skin or gills. If they did nothing, they would swell up like balloons. Oh, no. Whales Day Out to the pool is going to be crazy. It's going to be pretty bad. And if you're a saltwater animal in freshwater, you dry out.

Oh, you're going to get dry. You're going to get dry. I'm so chapped, guys. Do you have any lips? Well, that's crazy. So you basically, even though salt dehydrates you, Salt water animals and fresh water get dehydrated Yeah, but fresh water animals and salt would blow up like a balloon

But what if we got damn it in like you become a whale Yeah, and say instead of me and Dusha running away in Darrow We go, okay, we gotta help our new friend the whale We take you to a pool, yes, but say we empty the pool of chlorine Well, I think whales can survive if you just dump in water on them Yeah, like you just dump heaps of salt Because you can save beached whales Yeah, so that's true.

So how long do I, how long do I got? Well, until the moon goes. Yeah, but, no, that's... It's usually like it's a night, yeah. Yeah, it's a night. You get a night. Like an eight hours type thing. And during that night, you are just a whale. You're not Joel Zamp.

No, no, no. Well, also, it should be said, actually. Or am I a violent mutant monster whale? Are you like a humanoid? Hey, beached whales. Yeah. Can survive for a maximum to 20... This is a big window.

A maximum of 24 to 48 hours. Damn. means you can just go whale mode each year for a day and then you'll be okay. Well yeah because it's less less than a day really so I'm like sometimes it's like four hours. And it's probably better for you for us to just leave you in the backyard

and spray you down with a hose than for us to take you to the sea. Well yeah. Because if we take you to the sea and you swim out to sea and then become a man again and I've already started to infect and bite other things. Yeah, true. The pressure of gravity breaks whales, uh, organs. Oh no. Yeah, like crushes their rib cage and collapses their organs. So, you will survive, but you're going to need to go to a doctor.

Does that convert over? No, I think it's fine. Okay. What do you mean? Like, if you shoot a werewolf, yeah. No, actually, classic werewolf law. If I shoot a werewolf... If you shoot a werewolf in the leg, the next day the old woman's limping in town,

and that's how you find out she was a werewolf. Alas. Yeah. I thought they regenerated. They do. They heal, but not... It's not like that when you transform back, you go back to your original wall. Yeah, the classic werewolf folklore is.

like, oh, the old woman's aware. My organs are really sore. And I feel like a whale's organs can get crushed, but a man's gone. Yeah. So I feel like... Like if I punched a whale's kidney, he'd be fine. But if you, if I punched a human's kidney inside, he'd be in trouble. Oh, yeah.

Well, I feel like, yeah, it'd be like I'd have a bruised organ. Yeah. But then you got a month to recover. Well, because it's usually a couple of nights over that... Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Right. And now what would you...

Now that you know that that's going to happen. happened to you. How do you change your life? Well, I guess what I'd want to do is, because they're so big. They're huge. I was going to be like, well, crush your house. Yeah. Well, I think the first time I do crushed my house. Yeah. I think you'd want to go, because ideally I was thinking like a rock pool. Yeah. Like, you know, those like, uh, uh, like those beaches that they sometimes have where there's areas where either there's like either sharks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They kind of put like, they cord and off an area of the sea. Right. So, But then that's still too shallow for a way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. And also, I don't think we want to be near the sea when you transform. Because if you're near the sea when you transform, you're going out to sea. And when people say, what happened to Joe Zammett, we say, I don't know. Yeah, we go who. I think a lot, for a month, I need to, like, I basically have to somehow either dig a pit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or buy a very large quarry. Yeah. An old quarry that's floating. Yeah. There's a quarry not that far from here. All right. Sort of. Within, I can probably get you there and a half for now. All right.

What are we putting him on? In the back of the car. We go hire a trailer. We take it back here. We look at sound at the whale. We look at the trailer. We need a bigger trail. Yeah.

We're time to prep, right? The first time, we're fucked. Yeah. The first time we're... I've destroyed my house. You need to go to the hospital for a long time I love the idea To re-inflate your lungs

Yeah The idea of like Going to get a trailer You're going to be stuck in a loop Yeah Because your ribs crush a little bit Yeah They're not gonna repair in 31 days

Sure So you're just gonna be constantly A man that's That's fine I can function If his ribs are a bit squashed Yeah Then we do take him to see

So when you transform fall back into a way, you could see you healing. If you should have whale off in the leg, the next day, the old lady, she's just limping. That's true. She's not, she hasn't got her, like, basically, she hasn't looked like she's got her leg boil off. Yeah, it's not, she's not, she's not got the equivalent. She's still got the injury. It's not equivalent.

So there is some level of, like, healing. And, yeah, where wolves are a bit tougher, you know, than regular wolves. Well, yeah, I'll be pretty, like, I'm not going to run a marathon. Yeah. But I can't do that anyway. Yeah, that's true. I'd just be, like, a lot of, a very bruised man. Yeah.

and be like, oh, that hurts. Everything hurts. But I did turn into whale, and I have no house now. Yeah. You are homeless. That's true. So I think hopefully insurance pay out. Yeah.

If I have not squished my wife and child, we then get them in a nice little, like, you know, one bedroom or something. Yeah, yeah. Well, then I use a lot of the other money to buy a quarantine. And fill that up with salt water. Yeah. And that once a month, when I know that the moon is coming, we drive out there before I turn. And so boys, we can return the trailer.

We can return the truck. It's fine. I love the idea of getting a trailer. Bring it here. It's too small. You go back. Me and Zamban are waiting. You take a long time.

And it's because you're arguing with the guy where he's like, I'm not giving you a bigger trailer just because this one is at the wrong size. Give me a bigger trailer. I need a bigger trailer. Also, can I sign off? Okay, I'll take this trailer, but I'd like to increase my insurance. I don't want to pay any excess. He's taking so.

Fuck. So Whale is bad. Yeah, so I go there before I turn into the quarry that we've like, yeah, filled up with seawater. Yeah. I then sit there. I turned it to a whale. Yeah. And then I don't suffocate.

Yeah, exactly. You flop around in the quarry. Me and do you should do some grilling or something. Hang out. Make some, just cook some dogs. Yeah. Not eating dogs. Just eat some hot dogs.

Yeah, just eat some hot dogs. I'm like, oh, put in my bowl. No, no, no. You'll die. You'll bite them. Um, yeah. I'm trashing. I'm wanting to bite you. Maybe I'm beaching myself just to bite you. Get back in. Love the... Hot-tong of one-hand big stick. I'm going to push you back in.

That's the risk. Because now that I'm in an area where I can, you know, perceivably maneuver. Yeah. Maybe not that much, but I can't maneuver. I don't think a whale's maneuvering anywhere. But like, in a quarry. Maybe I can, because I will, because again, now that I'm a vicious, where whale. I am going to try and want to bite. Of course. Absolutely. So I'm probably going to beach me. myself a few times. Yeah. We might just leave you. Yeah.

Well, you'll survive. You'll just be a bit squaw. What's around a quarry? Like sheep? No, usually just dirt. Dirt. Sometimes. Like, shitty suburbs or sometimes, yeah.

The quarry I'm familiar with is in like the middle of a suburb, but like not. I was thinking like one of them, like a dam or whatever, like in the ocean water. Yeah. Maybe where there might be a sheep I could nibble on. Because that I could turn a sheep and throw a whale. A sheep's not ready for that. That is crazy to imagine. you get your sheep in like a far paddock, you don't really see them every day, you come out and they're just all squashed.

What the fuck? And one's fine. What the fuck happens? But it's breathing kind of laban. What I got my other sheep only nicked this one, I guess, because it's not... It seems a bit squashed, but not flat. It's flat like my other jane. I got to call the people, hey, a wool distributor?

Yeah, you're not... My sheep got squished. I don't know. How do you feel about flat? It's still good. It's dense and flat. It's just flat. Some weird out of them.

I don't know. Like a big tree. Felt on all of them, but they disappeared. Then you buy a bunch of other sheep, bring them in, and then come out of tracking again, and they've been squashed, but that one sheep is still alive. Huh. Is my sheep? You're my luckiest sheep. Psychic?

I have one of them. Carey sheep? What's happening here? That is breathing. Even slightly more labor. Then one day it dies, and you never know what happened. Could you slaughter that shit? I don't know.

If you kill it, does it become a whale? Probably not. If you eat that meat, well? We stop at that farm on the way back from the quarry to get some strawberries from the side of the road. He's talking about it, we're like, I don't know what that could be. Anyway, we're going to go drop my friend here into that dam. We turned into a big sea salt wall.

He sees you in the backseat breathing in the same labored place is his sheep. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck? I don't know, man. Crazy world. You my sheep? What?

I don't know what you're saying. We just want the strawberry. To get out. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, whales's bad. Yeah. Can you know what else would be bad?

Yeah. And this one, I think, is bad in ways that we haven't. We're a, we haven't, we're wolf has never explored. Because in your instance, your body is experienced. Yeah. What if I get stung by a wear-wasp? Oh, no. That's pretty bad.

That's bad because we, because the beauty of Zabit being a gigantic whale is we're here, we can look after him. You become a wasp in the middle of the night. I don't know what. First of all, being compressed probably feels really bad. Oh, yeah, it feels horrible, dude. Two, you're losing a wasp.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Three, I can do a lot of doubt, like a wasp, but, I mean, I don't know how a wasp handles being. at night. I laugh, but it is a good question. Honestly, great question. How does a was to end up being at night?

A wasp to me is not a nocturnal beast. It's a day creature. It's a beast of the day. Is it blind at night or some shit? And wasps are very like, to me also, wasp are like they're a high. They're like very, you know, they need their society. And what is like a, because like a, if you're a loose wasp,

surely you can't just go and draw. join a hive. No. They do with like smells and senses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so look, wasps just rest at night, but they're not like, night doesn't fuck them up. They can make night moves.

Alright, that's good to do you. Yeah. Well, yeah, because yeah, you're a little bit... Are you more intelligent than a regular wasp? Oh, I would say, sir. Like a werewolf is more intelligent than a regular. Yeah, yeah. Not necessarily.

Sometimes they become just dogmen. Well, yeah. Think of a... Just think of a regular wolf. I guess. Twilight, I guess. No, they're smart dogs. Twilight's like the one where they are smart.

Yeah. But often I think you straddle the line between... American werewolf in London, they become crazy monsters. Well, that's the thing. You don't become like a guy. Harry Potter than monsters. Yeah, you become... The classic werewolf move is stealing chickens, right?

And that's how you know. Chickens and sheep. Yeah, chickens are sheep. You go, the wolf's been eating by chickens. It's a werewolf. But as a wasp, but you also have the desire like you did it as a whale to buy it. wear wasp.

I'm gonna end up with a man hive. Yeah. Oh no. You're bite all your housemates, your neighbors. Yeah. How easy can... Dogs, cats. Do you sleep with a window open?

That may prove to be a challenge for wear wasp. Yeah. If the windows closed, we're safe. I'm just like slamming into the window. And then I just wake up the next day with a bruised face. You wouldn't know what happened. Like, yeah. It would feel like you'd blacked out for 12 hours.

Yeah. He went to sleep. Yeah, wow, you slept for 12 hours. That's crazy. My face is fully bruised. Yeah. What were you doing? He's just because I was headbutton the wall?

Yeah. But the walls. You'd wake up by the window. Yeah. You wake up don't. Oh. But you would... Do you remember the transformation, surely?

You remember shrinking. And then you're gone when you are a wasp and then you become a man again. I had a crazy dream. A wask could probably get... out of a house through like a door under a door. Yeah, if it knows what it's doing. Have you ever, like, opened up, like, say, you know, I'm thinking to fly here, but you open up a door.

I mean, like, fly, fuck off. Oh, yeah, he's going to slamming into the window. Fucking fly. Also, yeah, like you said, you make... I'm going to get eaten straight away. Eated by dog. But then that dog will become a weird dog. He'll almost sting this shit out of it.

That dog who becomes a wasp. You got to bite him, JD. Stinging him won't do shit. You got to bite him. Oh, yeah. That's crazy for you when the wasp lands on you and you go, I'm about to be stuck and he goes, what the fuck? Do wasps have teeth?

They get their little mandibles. Can a wasp? They got mouths. They can buy. Yeah, surely. Whoa. Wasp has a tongue, basically. What?

You can tongue kiss a wasp. French style? They have like a, like it's a long tongue? It's got a glossy. Glot glosser? Fuck, nice. Well, if you bite the inside of the dog, then the dog becomes a wasp.

Yeah. You lose that dog. Yeah. Dog becomes a wasp. Full moon, you've got to change down the back. You go, I just let the dog in. You watch a trick fly away. You close the sliding door.

I don't have a dog anymore. That's a lost dog. Never mind. It's fine. Because wherever that wasp lands, that dog's going to wake up. Could be a tree. Could have started making a hive.

I don't know. I'm gonna wake up in a wasp hive You are gonna wait That's so funny to just explode out of the waspimes And then become the most Stung man in human history It's like I don't know Because could a waddley, because you want a hive

And you want your other wasp friends Could you ideally bite other wasps To then those wasp become wearer wasps Only once a month Yeah I'm thinking to like What's gonna end up happening is my wasp Bites a bunch of stuff

Yeah Yeah And then in a month I then make a hive with them Oh, true. We keep expanding out once a month hive. Yeah. That's nice. There's reports in the news of like the aftermaths of an orgy,

but no one ever sees the orgy where when the full moon goes, you all explode naked out of a hive together. What did we do last? I don't know. Yeah. Damn. Because like you can't stop a were wasp. Like you wouldn't know the difference.

If a whale started humping along the road toward me. I would go something supernatural that's occurring. I guess if a wasp bites me I go, that's not the typical way a wasp does damage. I would assume if a wasp actually bit me, I would assume it was doing it

in like a grip situation where it was like hit it bit because I was moving or something and it was biting to then get a stinger to like really fuck me up. What would you... I'm like, hmm, vindictive wops. All right.

But then it's really easy brush it away. Wow. But it's really easy just to slack it? Yeah, that's true. That's a really good point. It's like it can once bite you. Ah, smack.

A fully grown man that appears. What? A fully grown man explodes off your arm. It's flat. Yeah. Dead. Very dead. Oh my God.

No corner would convict me. Surely. How could I have done this to a man? You really got to hope that there are other people around and or cameras. Yeah. But then the forensic match the fingerprint on the man's face to your finger. Yeah, your finger. But big.

Yeah. You see, ladies and gentlemen of the jury that the criminal here somehow enlarge into his hand. And smushed my dead client. Twiney to life. Yeah. Give him the chair. Give him the big chair just in case. He might go big when he gets electrocuted.

Give him the big chair I can't make my hands go big No one can That doesn't make it Whoa It's either you make your hands big Or that man was not a man And then you squashed it

Yeah he was a was a was A was wharf that beat you Yeah Oh and that makes sense But big hands doesn't I'd another five years Give him the chair twice Yeah

Zaff this motherfucker's corpse Yeah, that's bad, dude What would you change in your life If you knew that every You know, when the full moon happened once a month I would install a flywire screen On the inside of my room Smart, like sorry, the inside

Like a flywire door Yeah, yeah, flywire Any like ventilations you got Yeah, like you know flywire Oh, fuck I forgot I got ducted heating I'm getting the fuck out of my room so fast As a wasp I think we got a tire string around your neck

When you go to sleep So that when you become a wasp we have yours I wake up hang Well, no, because it's a big... His neck is bigger than a Wasp neck. You're right. He's just a big loop.

The wasp flies into the middle of my forehead and stinks me. He's not even biting me. He's just stinging me. He's got a mosquito net around your bed. Yeah, it's smart. Sleeping in sack or some shit. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that'd be all right. That's the thing. Like, wasp is bad, but it is... If I survive the first time, it's so easy to contain. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I go, well, it's wasp night. Time to put out my neck.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then we just... But I would rather do the werewolf babysitting of whales, than wasp, do you sure. Oh, yeah. Because Wales Amid, I'm like, if I just don't go down in a quarry, I'm chill. Also, like, you can hear a whale. You can hear a whale flop on about.

And I would be paranoid every time I looked at the mosquito net, I'd be like, scary to be like, is it still in there? Is he still in there? And I'd be making moves. And he'd be making moves. He'd be like, because again, like, you know, you're like, where is you looking in? You're getting close.

Yeah. And you just stings you quickly to the net. You're like, ow. God damn it. Yeah, that's right. Fuck, you wasp, douche. Or he's like slowly biting one little tiny bit of the net over the course of many, many months. Yeah, exactly.

Just to get out. And then once he's out, we're fucked. We're fucked. Because even if he gets out and transforms into Dutja again, who knows how far away he is? Yeah, not me. I could just fall out of the sky. Yeah, die. Fall naked under the roof of someone's car.

Huh. Yeah. The person, the owner of the guy. car gets the chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They can't believe you... ...somehow run over... ...and over this man with your roof?

You disgust me. Horrible, horrible man. This is not an abnormal... I mean, people can fall on top of things. No. You've hit this man with your roof. You were driving upside down. Guilty twice.

Not out of how much. How did you? How could I? Um, I was thinking anaconda would be bad. No. I was imagining becoming an anaconda and then going into the walls of the house and then becoming me again. Just slaying it. Fuck!

I think you... Dunk, dunk, let me out. I think you'd probably burst through the wall. Do you reckon if you became... I think an anaconda would burst through the wall? I don't know, this is pretty... Like, an anaconda doesn't get that big. Like, you know...

Anacondas get pretty... I mean, anacondas can get flat, though. Yeah, that's good. Like, a snake's pretty maneuverable. And they love to be in walls. I do like that my... Do you live in a reality where you think

there's just snakes in everyone's walls? I think it's a possibility. How do you? In snake prone areas, my snake prone homies, you get out off in the comments. Tell me you don't have snakes

in your walls. Also, I'm really like, and again, this is just for the YouTube watches. Jackson's, a fiddling thing today is just karate chopping bag, Puss.

Yeah, I've been doing that quite a bit. Yeah. It's so much that it's got a very clear line. down its back from where you've just been slamming your hands. Hey ya! Yeah, dude, I'll be getting it.

So how, like, you just gotten somehow attacked by an anaconda? Yeah. Well, the anaconda was in his wall. It burst through, beat him. Exactly. I was trying to, I don't know, do some... Bit you on the balls while you're taking a shit. Yeah, okay.

In the pipes. Well, that's another risk. What if it goes in the pipes? And then I become a man again in... I'm dead. Yeah. In the pipes, you're dead. In the wall, you're fine.

Yeah, and then you just flush me. Yeah. Because, you know, if I'm in the pipes, flush it, it'll just, it'll vent me out into the, uh, into the sewers. You think in the walls I'd be fine? Yeah. Yeah, okay, well, that's good to know. Depends to much force when you become back into a man. I guess it's a slow-ish problem. Also, it's like, yeah, because it's, uh, the anaconda somehow for me, I'm like, it takes up more space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's gonna make it like enough space, especially in the walls for you to be fine. Yeah, yeah. There's a

fair amount of space in a wall. Like, you won't be comfortable, but I don't have to get, I'll have to get chopped out of the wall. Yeah, it's plasterable. What, so you say, I just... I've seen a house built? Yeah, but you say I just burst out of the wall? You could kick through a plasterboard easily. Like one of the walls in here?

Yeah. Do you know how easy it is to put a hole in a wall? Oh, that's true, actually. That's a good point. Unless it's like, I guess like a brick house. Yeah, yeah. Even then there's like... I also really liked it in my version of this.

When I become the wear anaconda, I'm not trying to bite anyone. I'm just going in the wall. She's like, yeah. Yeah, you're going to get somewhere quiet and war. Is the wall? Are the walls even warm? No, probably not. But, you know.

Curled up around like, say, heating. Yeah. True, true, true, true. Get in the vents. Get in the roof vents. Oh, that would be good. Because, yeah, you don't want to go on. It's cold.

And so it depends on, like, yeah, year. Like, what time of year it is. True, true. Because again, it's a cold night. Well, where does a snake go when it's cold? Hybernates, yeah. Yeah, doesn't it just live in a hole? Yeah, that's bad, too.

To wake up in a hole on the ground. You're telling me that's good? I think a danger for you might be when you get out of the house. Because I think an anaconda somehow is easy to get out of a house. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know why, but I'm like, anaconda can get out of the house. It's so easy.

He's going to slam through a wall. Because they can contort themselves and they can manipulate the size and shape of their body. And you sleep with the window open. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's world famous. Got to keep my head as cold as possible whilst keeping my body as warm as possible sleeping technique. I'm going to go out and limb here and it suggests he has a fly screen, but I don't know if he does. I think I do have a fly, not on the window. What do you mean not on the window? Where is it? It's on the door.

Of your bedroom? Oh, it's the front of that. So, so you got a security door. Yeah, but it's fly screen. But that's not. So your open window, you can just put your hand outside. Yeah, okay, that's what I thought. I was getting on the ground floor, right?

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt of having maybe a fly screen on the window. That's crazy to sleep with your... Anaconda's getting out like that. Yeah. I'm surprised men haven't gotten in. It's shocking. The idea that you just go to sleep and someone can just walk past and like, oh, I'm going to touch this man's head. Yeah.

You sleep with your head under the window? It's not quite. You couldn't reach in and touch my head. You could clamber in Where is your head? Okay, where's the bed to the window? It's, so on the same wall, like up against the same wall, but then it's off the side of my bed.

So if you had a really long arm, you could... So if you lent in. Yeah. And you were sleeping at the edge of the bed. There you go. So your head is that way, though. You put your fingers in my mouth. Because your head is there, yeah?

Yeah, yeah. Like at the weather... Yeah, it's against that wall. So you're, you need to your head is in the corner of the room, but the window's in the middle of the room. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

in and touch your face. If you have a long enough arm, you could do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That are Honda's easily giving out. You're a heavy sleeper. Yeah, I wouldn't know. I would have no idea. You stepped on him.

Yeah. No, this is great. You've got like, just... Yeah, you've, yeah, dude. I'm not having you said, I wouldn't know. If you've reached in, you start playing with my tongue or whatever. You're gonna wake up robbed one morning and be like, what happened? What the hell is going on right now?

My face feels like it's been played with it? Yeah. My mouth tastes like fingers. What the fuck's going on? All my stuff's gone. I got up with two or two together here. And I slept for my world famous 11 hours. Yeah.

The window is wide, but as it usually is. But the front door is also open. There's a bunch of footprints throughout the house, but I don't remember walking throughout the house like this. What the hell is going on? This world is truly a remarkable place. There's a shit in my toilet, but it's not my shit.

But they did the same amount of wiping that I do, which is none. I cannot figure this is... I'm so confused. Time to have a shout with an open mouth. And then I drown and die. My last thoughts are, oh no, I'm drowning. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

How I'll go. That's crazy. You should put something on your winter. Yeah. You should get a fly screen. It would help with the bugs. Yeah Yeah

I don't think an anacot is that Terrible No I suppose it's not so bad Because it's a wear our anaconda Well you can get out And you can probably infect a lot of people as well My problem with an anaconda Maybe cars

I don't think so Cars run over Yeah I also think that anaconda Is not inconspicuous enough that It's also slow Yeah you can infect more people Than a whale for obvious reasons But I feel like people

See an anaconda coming There's a chance that It's a middle of of the night. A lot of people are sleeping. If he's breaking into other people's homes. Yeah. And maybe there are other people like Jackson who sleep with them. There's the window wide open. I thought, I'll sleep basically outside.

Here's the thing, here's a second. You do. Basically, at night, wait, please tell me when you wake up, you shut the window. Yes, I do shut the window when I wake up. Okay. I do do that. That's good. That's something. I don't, I'm not entirely sure I believe you.

It did feel like a lie. I did for like a lie. It's like he processed, like, I know what the right answer to this question is, and I'm choosing to do that. Here's the one-two punch of the Anaconda that you've not considered. The way an Anaconda eats, and I know I'm meant to just be biting, but I'm probably going to be eating too. The way anaconda eats is by eating something whole.

Okay. How's that any different to how you eat normally? And also, is it a constrictor as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You constrict, and then it won't. But here's the thing. That doesn't digest in 24 hours. So when I become a man again,

I might have a man inside me. Yeah. I think it's... Most likely to have a stomach full of rats. Yeah. That's not awesome. Again, I've seen how you eat. I reckon your stomach's going to be fine with it.

You think I'm waking up with a stomach full of whole rats and I go, there's a chill. There's a zero... Look, there is a non-zero possibility that that isn't happening now. A little rat just crawling through your open window? Seas in a gape mouth. Oh, it's warm. in there.

Awesome. Guy go, Mm-hmm, two flams spaghetti, no more. Wow, that was a big meatball. Sucking the tag.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some dusty spaghetti.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Or another one. There's a trail of rats. Going through my upper window up my stomach and into my mouth.

I wake up. I feel. Weird. Did I wake up in the middle of the night? Yeah, I'm very... I'm not hungry for breakfasts. I don't know why. I think I'm good.

Damn, I'm shitting teeth. I'm shitting teeth and claws. What I am. What I eat? But I might end up with something, because I can an anaconda yes, rats. It's an easy option. Neighborhood dogs. I think there's a...

But like when a werewolf, it's like a full-on sheep or a chicken or whatever. The man doesn't wake up. The next day, what happens when the man is a... man there, old ladies with a limp are they like, the stomach distended being like, more. I think that is, that does happen too much. But I think the difference is that they're eating, they might slaughter a sheep and then eat the meat

and the awful. And they're not eating it whole. Yeah, I guess, there's no hooves inside. Yeah, and also I guess the digestive system of, I guess, a werewolf is not that dissimilar of a man. Yeah, and you might eat and eat and shit in the 24-hour period where it's a whale. Or a snake will digest for like two weeks. I might have a dog in me when I might shit out a collar. go

more looking at like, you know, ruffles. I think I need to go to a van or something. I don't. I think I need to go to the toilet. Can I do a vats really funny? I think I ate a dog.

What? Yeah, so I've got a dog in me. And I'm guessing it's sick and you're the sick animal guy. I'm fine, but I think the dog is not fine. I think the dog

maybe needs to get put down. It's not well. They go, sir, this is a pile of shit. collar. Yeah. He's getting an X-ray done. It's just like a dog X-ray, like dog-skelton in your stomach. Oh. How'd that get there? Is he gonna be okay?

Hey, hey, the vet. I, um, so long story, I just kind of short, I've got an alive dog in me. Can you put it down through my stomach? Yeah. Do have a really long needle? Like, you know one of them bend the, like, like, camera thing, but with like a needle at the end, so you can just give it the ginger. Yeah. Put it not believing me. putting a camera down my throat, like going into seeing a dog's face. Sir?

Yeah. So, I'm listening. I'm listening. Let me tell you, man, I don't want a shit in a little life, dog. So if we can figure something out, okay? I don't think you can get it out either way. It's bad. And I dealt what I have surgery.

I like the bird's like, I think you're just going to have to raise it in your stomach. Fuck. We're going to have to practice eating dog food all. Okay. You're going to have to make the adjustment of shooting out dog shit. Okay. Alongside my regular human shit, occasionally I'll shoot a dog's shit. You're basically like a dog parasite.

Yeah, when you're feeding yourself, most of that food is going to the dog. Which the dog will then turn into dog shit. No more chocolate. No more grapes. Yeah. Onions will make that dog fart eat. So I'm going to avoid that. Going for a walk with you guys, one of you that just idly picks up a stick and throws it.

Hey man, please? You are, you are withering away because you're getting no nutrients. Don't throw a stick. I'm a fat dog and meat. He's getting so full. He's eating everything I eat. I'm getting none of it. He's so selfish.

I can't wait for the end of the month for I'm an an anaconda again. I'm going to digest the fuck out of this dog. Yeah, you're fucking me up now, Rover, but just you wait. Just you wait till I'm a snake again. I like the idea that you've eaten so much in the last month that you turned in an anaconda and the dog just bursts out. Yeah, it just explodes out of my stomach. Oh, finally, an anaconda's head going, fuck! It's really funny to picture.

No! Fuck, oh, God! I hate ruffles. No more eating dogs for me. If you bit the dog while you were the anaconda, then that next month, it is turning into the anaconda. Yeah, that's true. Is it easier, well, it's probably easier for a snake to eat a snake. It's probably easy for that snake to crawl out of you.

Yes, well, exactly. That would feel really bad. Yeah, it would feel like a really long vomit. Imagine having a spew up, but you throw up a snake. But you are a snake. I died one on last night. It was a big night. Snake in the toilet.

Because now your problem is, well, one, you've got to get that snake. And two, like, yeah, you don't want to eat when you're aware of the snake. No. Could you flush a snake with that? Would it go down, do you reckon? Uh, no. Not an an anaconda? Like, say a rebelly black snake.

Yeah. I'm imagining you throw up a snake in the toilet because you had a big night the night before. And then you flush. They're pretty grippy, yeah? I don't know. I guess probably. I don't know.

I think if you go, if you throw up and they go to flush in that period of time, it bites your face. Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're going to either need like a hose to kind of like, high powder hose to spray it there. I don't think the flush is going to get it. It's not. And then even if you did flush the snake down the toilet.

It's coming back up. Yeah. Would you use that toilet again? No, I'm fine. I would weld that toilet shot. How long would you wait? I would... Weld the toilet shut.

We don't use that toilet anymore. That's the snake toilet. That's a snake toilet. We don't use that one. Surely Drano or bleach would... Hire a plumber, don't tell them. Yeah. Well, because, yeah, aren't...

Wouldn't then all the other toilets and every other kind of thing be connected? I'm afraid. I'm hiring a plumber. You don't shit ever again. I'm digging a hole outside. But that's where the snakes live too. Oh, no. I'm calling a plumber.

Hiring a plumber and the plumber and listening to the pipe and hearing, well, I know the problem. I don't know what's going on. It's a weird sound. Maybe unscrew it. I'm paying. You do. Yeah, you have a look.

See what's down there. I'm doing an ass bend that a snake comes out. That can't be a good sensation. Sure. They'd use a camera. They'd use a camera. See a dog in the. Okay, you're going to have to feed the dog through the pipes. She can't get like a needle.

You can't kill the dog in there. Okay. Pushing dog food down the train. Flush the dog food. I got a dog in the pipes. Hey, welcome to my home. Just fair warning. This is going to be useful.

I've got a dog in the pipes. Try not to shit in the toilet because you will, a dog will be eating your shit. You're going to be shitting on my dog. So please don't shit in the toilet. Look, at first, I hated Ruffles. I've learned to love the dog that lives in my pipes. Okay, I'm very fond of him. Okay, and if you shit on him, where are I meant to shit?

It's not my, I don't care. Hold it. We got to figure it out which toilet we can or cannot use in any given day, depending where Ruffles is. He moves around down there. He's wriggling. He moves around. Yeah, watch this. And then you get a stick and you put it down one pipe and then move through the house.

You hear him running. Yeah. Just, shh-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-------------. I'm like a little A little sausage Like a little sausage dog? Yeah Like a little sausage dog?

Yeah Yeah, I got a dog in the pipes I got a dog in the pipes. No showering either Because you'll drown him Yeah Hold it, don't shower While you live in my house

Yeah While you live Yeah It's an Airbnb This was not on the list It's a very sticky house Yeah Yeah

Yeah Well you know Yeah I think all of them were bad But in different and unique ways Very true

And maybe being bitten by a dog and turning into a dog man is not so bad after. It honestly seems fine now considering. Yeah, you get to run around. Yeah. Eat to slaughter sheep and chicken. Yeah. Get shot in the leg.

Exactly. Howl at the full moon? You don't get to do that if you're any of us. Wake up nude. Wake up nude. Oh, the dream. They go to sleep clothed and wake up nude. Yeah, dude.

You can do that now. How? I mean, you sleep. So I'm going to train myself in my sleep to get on. I'm a busy man. He's got windows to leave open. I'm not dedicating my life to nude undress, sleep undressing. You never undress yourself while you're going to sleep?

No. Okay, maybe just me. Yeah. I get hot. Fair enough. I might take off clothes prior to going to sleep. Yeah. Like I might go to sleep in like pajama bottoms and they'd be like,

ah, fuck it. And get rid of them. But not while I'm sleeping. I'm just the boxes, man. Yeah. That's all I mean. Yeah, I sleep underwear and a t-shirt. That's my sleeping.

Toddler style. Winnie the poo and. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's me. That's me. Well, on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been, Joel. Thank you, Gav Beans. I hope this was, this episode was to your liking. Exactly, and if you have any worse animals to get weird by it, let us know in the comments of either YouTube or anything Spotify let you do.

Yeah, yeah, chucking into the Spotify comments. And remember, if you want to support us, if you want to help us to continue to do this shit, you want to help me feed my dog in the pipes, okay? And in my stomach. who's eating me out of house and home. You can sign up to the bad brain boys. There'll be links in the show notes that gives you access to a bunch of bonus content. Bonus episodes are plumbing the That Star. What if another show we do?

Jackson Bailey Spooks America, another show we do. Access to the Discord. The Discord. Links on live. Add free content. Oh, my guy is so nice. It's really good, but mostly you'd be supporting us. That's the main thing.

That's how we continue to do this show. And until we see you again, go to hell. What happens to me is that I, because my uveolar is so long, if I get acid, this is the thing that happens to me all the time, I get acid reflux, the acid goes onto my uvula, my uvola becomes inflamed, because it comes inflamed, it gets infected, and I get it cold, and then because I get a cold, I get very flammie, and when I get very flammie, my sinuses become fucked. So if I have acid reflux, you're like, oh no. One day, in two weeks, I will have the worst headache of my life. That fucking sucks, man. It's very annoying. getting like a, the Instagram

like advertisers to me, that thing that like, it's like an enhanced netty pot. Whereas it's like two things, like machines like, it's blast your sinuses. And I'm like, I know it's probably a scam or whatever, but fuck I want it. He's gonna fuck my brain up, but damn, I want that bad, dude. God, it'll probably

give me some sort of brain parasite, but fuck. I've never done netty pot. I should. Yeah. Probably help me. All right, let's go, baby. Thank you.