Plumbing the Death Star - Which Would be the Worst Day to get Groundhog'd Day'd Into? With Mia Moore

Episode Date: March 12, 2023

We’re joined by special guest Mia Moore to talk about the worst day to be Groundhog’d Day’d into! Zammit doesn’t understand travel time and runs into a lot of hurdles trying to ruin history, JD has a goal of becoming the news with his brand new “carton of cigarette challenge”, Mia doesn’t want to disappoint her 8 year old son on the day they go see Shrek 3 and Jackson just wants to be inside his mother. Listen to this one on repeat to really simulate being stuck in a time-loop and while you’re coming to grips with Jackson’s womb wants go and support Mia’s film Again Again on indiegogo! Just click the link or search for Again Again movie on google!Buy our terrible merch here and check out the Bad Brain Boys on Apple Podcasts at apple.co/badbrainboys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sandspant Network. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. And today we are joined by special guest Mia Moore. Woo!

Hey guys, you can't see me, I did like a, I did a somersault. It was impressive. She did. It was impressive. I can confirm, I can confirm. Yeah, we got Mia on the podcast because she's funny, but also a gymnast. She can do somersault. It was impressive. She did. It was impressive. I can confirm. I can confirm. Yeah, we got Mia on the podcast because she's funny, but also a gymnast. Mostly because she can do somersaults. Yeah.

None of us can. No, it's a skill we are dreadfully lacking in. I can actually do a flip, but not a somersault. All right, the episode hasn't started yet. Everyone fucking cool your jets, because this is a podcast where we ask the important questions like, which would be the worst day to get groundhogged date? Groundhogged date. Groundhog Day. Groundhog Day'd into.

Okay. You're stuck in one day. What's the worst? All right. Anyway, thanks for joining us, Mia. The reason we picked this topic is because you're working on a, you're personally working on a time loop film, and by working on, I mean wrote, and are currently running a campaign to get donations

to physically make happen yeah yeah we're shooting the film this june and uh we're running an indiegogo campaign right now that ends at the beginning of april so go check that out you know we need all the money that we can get but i mean we're doing fine we're gonna make it but also please help us please there'll be some show notes like links like links to that in the show notes. But if I can't be fucked looking at that, if I was to, I don't know, Google. You can Google Indiegogo again again. That's the name of the film.

Again again film or Indiegogo again again movie. And it will come up. I looked it up today. Hell yeah. Or you can head to www.twitter.com forward slash. At stop tweeting me on Twitter. You can type all that in and then you click on the pinned tweet. Then you don't need to worry about show notes.

Fuck the show notes. How could we have plugs, guys? I just think we're great. Yeah, just skip the podcast and follow me on Twitter. Stop listening right now. Anyway, I think the worst day to get Groundhog Day into would be July 20, 1969.

The day of the moon landing. First off, the attention. Not on me. I want none of it. Secondly, I got to watch the moon landing on a boring TV the size of my fist. And it's all in black and white or maybe colored. Depends how poor I am. Probably very.

You can spend the day trying to Alright, we're all very excited to launch straight into this. This is so important. I had not considered that you could be in a time where you were not alive. Who are you in this situation? Well, I guess

I'm me, because Nusha did ask what was the worst day you could be Groundhog Day into. Okay, so you wake up tomorrow and it's July 16th, 1969, or whatever. Yeah, July 20th, 1969. I guess just for my

own sanity, maybe I can be in America, and also maybe near the moon launch because I'm in Groundhog Day. At least I can make this very boring day of humanity very interesting for me. It's also, I mean, yeah. Because if you're in Australia, knowing the moon launch was happening,

but you could do nothing about it would be the most infuriating thing in the world. Yeah. Being like, I could do anything, but I can't stop that. Are you saying then that you are in this case an astronaut on the moon land? Not at all. Not at all. I would be me. Because that would be funny.

Like, you never see the reactions, but you could get a rise out of a lot of people i know getting the chance to say to first man on the moon you get to what would be your this is one giant step for man one big leap guess what motherfuckers i'm about to fuck the moon that's my one step speech yeah look at meheads, and look at all these big stomps that I'm doing. And then I just start stomping around the moon. I'd plant the flag upside down if I could get the chance. At what point do they cut off the video feed to the moon landing because you're being too much of a rascal? Astro-Tab, it's called rascal mode.

Cut the feed! Cut the feed. Yeah. Because if I was stuck in Australia, I think it would be a very, very boring day and a very, very annoying day to get stuck into because I can't. You're right, you can't do stuff. If I'm stuck in like a Groundhog Day situation, I don't want to do it all.

And if there is a chance that I can go to the moon and I'm in Australia, there is no chance. That's so frustrating. But if I can get to America and get in there, I reckon I could, after enough tries... Yeah. How long does it take to get to the moon, though? How far away... How long does it take?

Wait, wait a minute. Is it Groundhog Day rules? I was about to say, Zammett, if you wake up on the day, you're not going to be able to get on the moon landing. You can't get... Well, you might be able to... You could maybe. I'm pretty sure it was like a three-week trip at least, and I'm still talking out my ass, but it was definitely not on the day.. You can't get. Well, you might be able. You could maybe. I'm pretty sure it was like a three week trip at least. And I'm still talking out my ass.

But it was definitely not on the day. You could get to space, I guess. That's pretty cool. But you can never get to the moon. And that's almost so much worse. You get a taste of it. But you never get to go. But it's not the day of the moon.

Eight hours? Three? Sorry, eight? Oh, no. I read. I fucked it. I read days as hours yeah no so all you need to do is you you set your groundhog day yeah to nine days before the moon landing and then you get like a lot of coffee okay okay how much methamphetamine can i bring

on the apollo 11 okay so the idea is that the way, just this is important to clarify, if you go to sleep, the day ends, but if you stay awake, it doesn't? Well, that's Groundhog Day rules. Yes. Groundhog Day does rule. Yeah, we should probably establish Groundhog Day rules.

Yeah, if you go to sleep, if you die, if you are otherwise incapacitated or knocked out or whatever, then you, yeah. Okay, so apparently a person can live without sleep for 264 hours. Okay. That's a while. That is, is it eight days though? How many days is 264 hours?

Jackson, how many hours do you think are in a day? 11 days. 11 days. Okay. All right. Okay, so you can make it to the moon and halfway back you're gonna be strung out

on the moon it's exciting that maybe going to the moon is what breaks the loop for you and then you wake up and you're still in space or maybe not trying to go to the moon is what breaks the loop but he never doesn't try so he loops for 10 years and then finally is like whatever i don't care and then he wakes

up the next day outside the loop like oh god that was it i just outside the loop with a news program being like oh the moon landing went real great yesterday. Oh! Oh! I've been wrecking it. You're just some guy in the 1960s. I've just got some imagining being Buzz Aldrin next to you as you strung out on methamphetamines, being like, I don't know if I trust this guy to land the moon lander, to be honest. I'm going to do it quick.

Full force down. This is the worst day to be stuck in a time loop because this one's fun actually I think every day is a little bit can become probably the best day no matter what you do right because you're just doing it over and over and over and over again you can make it good

I do think if it was like as we are today where we are today I think the moon landing if I wasn't in America, I think that would be, that would kill me. That would be the most infuriating day possible. Because you can see the moon

landing, well not the moon landing, but you can see the rocket taking off. Every day you watch that on the TV and you're like, if I was there, I could do something to it. I could stop that launch. I could there, I could do something. I could stop that launch. I could make it blow up. I could kill those astronauts. That's what I'm thinking.

I could take their place. I could wear bazolda like a skin suit. Something. So if you are in Australia, then you would wake up five hours after it takes off or like it takes off five hours after you go to sleep. How long to the U.S. from Mount... Where do they fly from? Florida? hours after it takes off or like it takes off five hours after you go to sleep okay how long to the u.s from mount mount where where do they fly from florida cape canaveral it's houston houston we have a problem yeah houston florida that's right yeah is it houston or is that a guy's name no it's no because that'd be where they had the it's not called a flight center.

Cape Canaveral, isn't it? Cape Canaveral. Is that in Florida? Mayor, you're American. You're thinking of SpaceX. Oh, shit. Damn it. Where'd they launch the moon rocket from? Cape

Kennedy. Cape Kennedy. Okay. Where's Cape Kennedy? Cape Kennedy. Where's Cape Kennedy? You're not going to be able to find that out in 1960-whatever anyway. How much prep time do I get? You have infinite amount of time. What do you mean? How much prep time do I get before I get Groundhog Day?

None. You wake up tomorrow and you're in the day where your Groundhog Day starts. Surely a couple phone calls over the course of several weeks of the same day, I could figure it out. Who do you call? 1960, when was the moon landing? Nine. 1969. Who are you getting on the blower?

What? Well, I watched the moon landing. I'm going to at least pay attention because surely, surely, surely they'll say launching from Cape Kennedy in Florida, and I'll be like, a clue? That is a clue. There's also, there's not the internet, but you do have libraries.

You guys know I was in Australia, right? Yeah, we got libraries. You could go ask somebody who knows about space. Hey, I know that we went to space today, but where did we go from? How do I get there? I know it's done, so I can't do it, but... Where do I go?

Okay. Okay. Okay. So the flight time from Melbourne, Australia to Florida, 19 hours, 51 minutes. And that's without stopovers. I'm getting some hurdles. Yeah, but if you're on methamphetamines Whatever Also, 19 hours and 51 minutes

In 2023 1960s planes I'm guessing Were not as fast I was about to say, hang on, Australia Are we earlier or later? Well We're later We're like the second latest time.

You guys are like 18 hours after me. Fuck. Because right now it's my Monday. And you guys' Tuesday. It's late Tuesday afternoon here. So in theory, I could be Groundhog Day-ing the day after they leave. By picking the moon landing, you missed the moon the moon because you messed up the time zone also i think i said the day of the moon landing which is eight days after they left you get to watch

them land every single day this is the worst part that's the exciting part you could go mess you could go mess with the control center. You could go in and give them funny directions to be like, oh, do the funky chicken dance. Oh, yeah, do it. You have to. I thought you were going to say funny directions for the rocket. Go up.

No, no, no. Don't go down. Okay. So if anyone's seen the beautiful Australian film called The Dish, where they talk about it's like an observatory in parks, and it played a very big integral role of making sure that the moon landing was televised. Oh, okay. So that, I reckon I could get to and ruin.

Oh, yeah, so nobody gets to see. Yeah. And then if nobody saw it, did it really happen? I don't know. God, Martin Stanley Kubrick faked this for nothing. Martin Scorsese faked the moon landing. That's not right.

And so with that there, because I don't know if there's going to be that much security at Park's observatory back in 1969. You've got an infinite amount of time to figure it out. So you can break in there and make sure nobody ever sees the moon landing happen. But here's the thing.

You do that after, say, you know, let's say 100 years of your time. But then you wake up the next day and, you know, it gets displayed. I found another hurdle, though. Parks is about eight hours away from Melbourne. Okay. Every day I got to do a big drive. Hey, you're arguing your case pretty good. So even if you want to fuck with the moon landing, it's annoying.

It's bad. Yeah, absolutely. So that's a bad day. that's a pretty bad day but uh because like you'd get sick of the moon landing but it's uh hard to argue that the moon landing is a significant moment in history and maybe learning lots about it when the time loop's broken yeah you'll be able to you know maybe have more knowledge maybe live a better life. Which is not the case for the worst day to be Groundhog Day, in my opinion, which was April 11, 1954, which statistically is the most boring day in human history. What?

This is a crazy question, I know. But what happened on that day? Nothing. Under what metrics? So a Turkish engineer was born. An athlete, Jack Shufflebotham of England, died. No other well-known person was born or died that day. You could save Jack Shuffle's life.

Yeah, you could go see the Turkish engineer, baby. Uneventful day. Alright. So no major events from the stock market, sporting events or NASA. No major movies were even released this day. So one day you figure

out how to see this Turkish engineer be born and then another day you see John Shuffle or whatever it was die. You've exhausted everything available to you on that day. See, I don't know. I don't know. I think this is actually probably one of the more better days because what you've got before you, JD, is a blank slate. You can do anything.

I will be the news that day. Anything that you do is memorable. It won't go down in history, but it will be known for that period of time where you're alive. But then you need to stay up an extra day so that you can actually see the results of that in the paper the next day or whatever. Yeah, well, I'm actually also, by doing a bit of research about this, insulted. Because there's another day that is the second most boring day in history which was weirdly also in april april 18 1930 yeah where the bbc in england for the evening news started and said like ladies and gentlemen there is no

news and then just played music for 15 minutes. That's awesome. Nothing happened. You can change that, though. The reason I'm offended, though, is because it's clearly trying to imply April's the most boring month. And in fact, I was born between the 11th of April and the 18th of April. I guess I spiced it up in the middle of the week. Loathsome podcaster born April 13 makes his date very eventful. What would you do?

You've got a complete blank slate. I mean, like, I think I would at first, obviously, just do whatever and be ridiculous. But then also I would try and see how, like, the most minor thing I could do to make the news that day. Oh, that's a good idea. Do you reckon, like, just re-rending someone in my 1954 car? Yeah, that would make the news. I don't know how I'm getting a car in 1954. I think it would have to be either heroic or tragic.

Yeah, that's true. So you could set up like a Rube Goldberg machine type thing where you become the hero. Oh, yeah. And push a dog or a baby out of the way of a bus. I mean, there'll be a lot of the way of a bus. Mmm. You could... I mean, there'll be a lot of times where you don't. But! That will also make the news.

Does it count? I also think that you guys are doing a very smart thing of putting yourself in a time before the internet. Because if the internet exists and you have internet access, then you can watch a lot of movies, a lot of videos. You can read limitless books and PDFs. Watch all of YouTube? Yeah, you can do a lot of things.

And that's the thing. A lot of these time loop movies take place in a place where you don't have the internet, either because of time or just like you're in Palm Springs or whatever. Yeah, I was going to say, how do they get around it in Palm Springs? Because that's set in the now. They just don't mention it. No signal, right? They're stuck in Palm Springs and he has to go to a wedding with his girlfriend. Yeah, I guess no signal is the easiest way to ride around it.

Phone's fucked. Oh, wait. No, I think his phone is broken, isn't it? I don't know. I've seen that movie once. Andy Samuels. I had the time with it. I like that movie. Yeah, Andy Samberg. I had a good time with it. I like that movie.

Yeah, nice. I'm glad all my friends like a movie. It's awesome. I'm thinking here, if you wanted, like, yeah, because, again, it's when you, what basically breaks the curse of groundhogging? Yeah. You got to learn a lesson.

Yeah. I mean, it depends on the film. You know, like, in Palm Springs, it's like they literally just like blow themselves up in like the right place at the right time and they get to break out you know in groundhog day it's just like he like i don't know manipulates people good enough he's like enough of a slimy little freak they're like he just breaks out randomly you gotta try both yeah pull yourself up go slimeball mode oh See which works. What would you be trying?

Another question about this. What are you doing in a Groundhog Day? You specifically. I feel like I would immediately start trying to improve my life and give up on that after two years of learning skills and then become a piece of shit. I think I'd start with the ending of Groundhog Day and then become him at the beginning of Groundhog Day.

Yeah, you work backwards. Yeah, two years is a long time to try and improve yourself. Maybe a week? Listen, I want to ride a horse. I want to learn a second language. I want to read a thousand books and learn how to play the piano. After I do all those things, then I'll be a piece of shit. Yeah, then we're up a piece of shit. Yeah.

Then we're up to physically assaulting strangers. Day two, eat a guy. Eat a guy, day two. No consequences in the groundhog day, baby. I hope eating a person is what breaks your curse.

Oh, no. Wake up the next day, I might eat that guy again. Step outside police. Oh. Oh, police. Oh. Oh, no. This didn't happen yesterday, did it? What, sir?

Oh, no. Open fire. Wow, I ate him so bad, they just killed me. Far out. That's intense. That's an awesome quote. I ate him so bad they just killed me screwed due process

yeah well I guess like with a groundhog day it is hard to improve yourself though you can improve yourself internally yeah and you learn your appeal you're not going to get swole or anything like that like you're not going to increase your cardiovascular

run time or anything like that does it work not gonna increase your cardiovascular or anything like that does it work the other way though like can you not make yourself worse physically like if i decide exactly yeah hey i'm gonna do the carton of cigarettes challenge yep you can do that you'll be fine that's my favorite internet challenge man hi i Hi, I'm Jackson Bailey. This is the Cotton to Cigarettes Challenge. That is my favorite part of every time loop movie is when they hit the montage with gleeful music of him throwing himself in the bathtub with a toaster. Oh, yeah.

Just doing those brutal things to himself like, oh, here we go. And there's a song about pennies from heaven. Oh, yeah. Going just at yourself with a bullpen hammer. we go and there's like a song about pennies from heaven oh yeah going like just you know best part at yourself with a bullpen hammer i mean that's gonna happen at some point being like how many rocks can i eat before it kills me let's see yeah how many rocks depends on the size of the rock i think can i perfectly jump over a car going at me at about 80 miles an hour.

That's such a funny. Can I smoke every cigarette in a carton? A carton of cigarettes is like 10 packets, sometimes 20. Yeah. So that's anywhere between 200 to 400 cigarettes in a day. Yeah. Now, what's your strat? Are you doing one after the other or are you doing like three at a time?

I think I'm going to have to chain smoke the whole day. But I reckon I'm going to have to bump those numbers up to having two or three cigarettes lit at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going three cigarette load. What does that do to a person? This is so scary for me because I've never smoked a cigarette before. So if I tried to smoke a carton of cigarettes, my head would be six times larger than it is, and I would get psychic powers. Maybe that.

Whatever you do, kids, don't do the carton of cigarette challenge. You may get superpowers. Oh, my God. Do you remember? Stop tweeting Mia from Twitter. Yeah. Yeah. She smoked so many Tweeting Mia from Twitter? Yeah. Yeah, she smoked so many cigarettes she turned into Modok. Oh my god, I recreated Modok.

I was thinking about Big Head Sheen from Jimmy Neutron, but yeah, that's also Modok. Remember when Sheen from Jimmy Neutron got smart and his head got really big and he started floating around in a chair just like Modok. Yeah. Essentially. Okay. I guess that's just what happens when your head gets real big. Yeah, you gotta float around. Except I feel like if my head got real big, it would just get real heavy.

And it would just be like on the ground. Well, that's why Modok has a little hover chair. Yeah, that's true. Because his head got too heavy. See, I think that Jackson, if you had a big head, you'd have the hover chair, but you'd be using it like a pillow, so you'd be walking your hover chair. With my head face down on the chair. Bumping into shit.

It's heavy. Or my head would be back, and I'd be looking at the ceiling, walking forward. That's awesome. Or maybe putting your head in a pram and walking it. No, I'd just put my head on the ground and dragging between my legs. Getting bald on the patch that's rubbing against the concrete. And everybody, kids will be like, Daddy, what happened to that man?

And he'll say, he smoked too many cigarettes. Don't smoke, kids. That'll happen to you, guaranteed. Well, I guess, JD, with your most boring day, because there's nothing really happening, there's no distractions. So in theory, if you were doing the two years slash two days of bettering yourself. No, I'm doing the card of cigarettes challenge. I have no, zero interest in trying to better myself.

He's just smoking cigarettes. The card of cigarettes It might better you You might get psychic powers And a big head But it won't last You'll have to do that every day Oh no I'm not going to get better at smoking cigarettes

However I roll into the Groundhog Day Is how I stay But you could wreck your body You could do whatever you like You will eventually achieve your cigarette challenge at some point. Well, I don't because... Because there is nothing happening that day. There is no distractions.

It's actually kind of good if you want to do anything like this. You could smoke 200 cigarettes in a day. How many cigarettes would you have to smoke? Did you just say there's like 10 packs in a carton and each one has like 12 cigarettes in them? Yeah, it's anywhere. 120 cigarettes? The smallest carton of cigarettes is 200. Yeah. it's anywhere. 120 cigarettes. The smallest can of cigarettes is 200. Yeah.

That's baby stuff, dude. Oh, God. Okay, great. Great. I mean, that's 10 cigarettes an hour if I'm only sleeping for four hours. 10 cigarettes an hour is easy, dude. Over 20 hours.

You could do it. What would that be like? Again, if you can stay up for two days straight then you could smoke slower yeah that's true yeah so 10 cigarettes and sprinkles of methamphetamines in the mix yeah so 10 cigarettes an hour that's more than a cigarette every 10 minutes yeah so like yes but it's but like you can push yeah yeah push through the discomfort because you know when you go to sleep, you'll be fine in the morning. You will achieve that goal at some point.

And all I'm saying is that maybe the world's most boringest day or history's most boringest day is actually kind of a good day for this because there is no distractions. There's no shenanigans to get up to. There's nothing else that you can do that day. So you can dedicate that whole 24 hours or 48 or 264, depending, to really ruining yourself. It's awesome to imagine you coming out of that time loop

and explaining it to us. And we're like, what did you do, dude? How did you while away the hours? So are you familiar with the kind of cigarettes challenge that I invented so dude wait a couple of like 40 to 50 years for the internet to come around because 1954 oh wait fuck what the cigarettes look like in 1954 I'll

probably be unfiltered way more intense yeah the cartons might be bigger oh oh oh you're just doing this for health reasons yeah because oh yeah less than a carton a frank statement to cigarette smokers which is a famous tobacco like thing that's the first evidence that cigarettes are cigarettes will kill you yeah yeah Frank's statement to cigarette smokers, which is a famous tobacco thing, it's the first evidence that cigarettes will kill you, gets published in 1954. So people might try and stop me. No, I mean, it depends on where you're doing it. Are you doing it publicly?

Yeah. I'm going to try and smoke it in the same room as that. He's trying to get a news program to follow him around. I'm doing this for my health. If you smoke 200 cigarettes in a day, you know, if this is the day where the BBC was like, no news today,

that would get in the news. Oh yeah. No news today. Oh wait, one bit of news. A man smoked 200 cigarettes. That's awesome dude. And that's when the, that's that that's what causes the the loop

to break yeah to make news you make the news by doing that and you're like oh no next morning absolutely filled like rat shit do you think if you spent 50 years say smoking 200 cigarettes every day even though physiologically you were not getting addicted when you came out of the time loop would your body still require 200 cigarettes a day the addiction like the addiction is your brain chemical it's yeah the physical aspects don't matter but the the psychological if you are that's scary very much in your mind like i want to smoke 200 cigarettes again so yeah when you try to quit they're like so what are you what's your average how many That's scary, dude. Very much in your mind. Like, I want to smoke 200 cigarettes again. So, yeah. When you try to quit, they're like, so what's your average?

How many a day? 200. And they're like, I'm sorry. Not a week. Yeah, no, I heard. In one day. Six a minute. Ten a minute.

Ten a minute? You've gotten really good at it. Well, yeah, no, I needed to up my numbers so I could sleep just the idea of just like inhaling like a whole cigarette and just one inhale I do think that if you ever made it back

here though and you told everyone like yeah I smoked 200 cigarettes in a day they would say prove it do it again like there's no way they would let you off just saying that you could do it they would yeah we'd have to see it or they would believe you but they would also make you do it because that's very funny yes yeah well i think would you be addicted though like because if you said yeah you 200 that's a lot of nicotine maybe dead uh how much nicotine poisoning will fuck you up well Well, it doesn't matter if I die.

I can just attempt it again. I know that. But I'm like, because it's nicotine. It'll form those habits. And it's kind of like you don't smoke one cigarette and then it's suddenly like, ah, yes, addiction, right? Yeah. No. No, but if you're smoking 200 for 50 years every day, you get used to it.

I mean, you're getting used to that feeling. But the next day they go. The next day it's gone. The next day the nicotine is out of your system. You're never getting addicted to cigarettes. I reckon I am. You might be addicted to the action. You just get an oral fixation.

Have a toothpick. Would you come visit me and watch me smoke 200 cigarettes in a day? I would love to watch you smoke 200 cigarettes, dude. Yeah. What are you going to say, Maroon? Blow a little whistle when the nicotine poisoning happens. I'll be in a little glass box. Yes.

I'll be in a little glass box if that makes you feel better. A little glass box? Yeah. So you're hotboxing yourself in cigarette smoke. Yeah, I got to get it all in. No, there's a fan system. He's got a whole system so that he can smoke the cigarette. That goes out into a cigarette that I'm smoking.

I'm smoking you as you smoke 200 cigarettes. You just have a hose that you're just sucking off. That's good secondhand smoke and sweat from my friend Dusha. I'm addicted to smoking my friends now. Am I seeing my good friends get instant cancer. That's good. I have one inhale of the douche box and my other nut gets cancer.

I feel it go down my body. Oh. Well. Well. So yeah, that's my answer. Yeah, you guys want to hear mine? Yes, I would love to.

All right, because we're talking about alternate universes where we're apparently in the 1950s and 60s. Absolutely. My worst day to be stuck in a groundhog loop is my son's eighth birthday on May 18th, 2007, the release of Shrek 3. It's your son's birthday.

There's an 8-year-old boy who desperately wants to see the sequel to his favorite movie ever. We go see it, and he hates it every time. He's so sad. Oh, no. Jackie, you could convince your son to love Shrek 3? I mean, that's the thing. I think if you say could convince your son to love Shrek 3? I mean, that's the thing.

I think if you say we can't go to Shrek 3, you're not going to like it. He's not going to believe you. He's an eight-year-old child. But if you take him to the movie, right, you'd have to convince him to like it. Or you just convince him, like, it's dangerous or something. Shrek, if you see Shrek 3, Shrek will come out of the movie and get you. So we can't see Shrek 3. I have to create a situation where it's unsafe for us to go out in public, you're saying?

I think you could. It's going to suck. It's going to suck. You're going to have to watch Shrek 3 a lot. Because, yeah, you're right. There is no way in hell that you're like, we're not watching Shrek 3. If we go to the movies. Crush a car.

Sort it. Yeah, a lot of crashing the cars, but then unfortunately you wake up and you're not on Shrek 3 again. Sorry, my sweet darling boy son. Mommy's crashed her car bad, so we can't go to Shrek 3. Maybe we'll see it tomorrow. Yeah. Nice.

Now I've got to do that every day for a while. Yeah, you'd rather crash a car than watch Shrek 3. But unsustainful. And also, it's like, yeah, no matter what you do, it's just like they're going to be, if you don't go to see Shrek 3, you're going to disappoint your son. And I don't want to do that to an 8-year-old, you know. I don't care.

Shut up, Adrian. It's not your idea, but it's your son, JD. It's your son, you know. It's JD Jr. Seeing a movie in the cinema that you don't like is a formative experience. And frankly, I'm happy that my son hates Shrek 3. Welcome to the grown-up world, kids. Some movies suck shit.

You've got to talk Shrek 3 up heaps. When he does see it, he's so disappointed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the best movie ever made. Eventually, you would know Shrek 3 inside ever made eventually you would know Shrek 3 inside and out every single moment of that entire movie you would be able to recite it

I was thinking that you could fix it you could be like alright you could be like child of mine we didn't name our kid unnamed child the child's name is Shrek little Shrek we must have loved Shrek so much and is Shrek little Shrek we must have loved Shrek so much

and then Shrek 3 so bad no shut up J.D. don't do the math don't do the math no no we named Shrek before Shrek came out yeah we loved the book Shrek and then we saw the film with the baby and it was great yeah it's a very traditional name

it's fine we're not saying from what tradition but it's a very traditional name. It's fine. We're not saying from what tradition, but it is traditional. Shrek, the eight-year-old boy, is named after the fucked up book that the movie's based on. Yeah, exactly. You know how excited we were that we were going to see a film made out of our favorite book? Starring our favorite Saturday Night Live cast member, Chris Farley. Does this take place in an alternate universe where Chris Farley was Shrek? No, it takes place in an alternate universe.

I was about to say, that sounds good actually if it's Shrek 3 but Chris Farley. Chris Farley was originally the first Shrek. Yeah, exactly. But this takes place in an alternate universe where we knew that. We were excited and then we were bummed out. Because it was Mike Myers. Who we hate? No, we like.

He's our second favorite. Okay, fair enough. We like to, you know, living in a van down by the river is a favorite sketch of ours. Fair enough. We also quite fond of Wayne's World. This is good background information to have.

Blues Brothers was pretty good, but it wasn't as good as Wayne's World. Did Shrek like Blues Brothers? I am now just imagining every Mike Myers movie if it was Chris Farley. And honestly, Cat in the Hat, Austin Powers would both slap so hard. Cat in the Hat, Chris Farley would be awesome. What about The Love Guru? I don't know. I married an axe murderer.

I don't know if Chris Farley could pull that off. Yeah, that's Mike Myers. That's his. That's true. What about as the guy working at a record company that says, no one will ever bang their head to Bohemian Rhapsody in the movie Bohemian Rhapsody where that character is Mike Myers. Do you reckon Chris Farley could have done that?

I bet Chris Farley could do that. That's an annoying reference. Chris Farley was in Wayne's World I bet Chris Farley could do that. That's an annoying reference. Chris Farley was in Wayne's World. Yeah. Yeah, he was too. Well, then who's played Chris Farley's role? Mike Myers would be that guy. Mike Myers would be the limo driver

who gives him too much information. So they've swapped. Does that mean that Mike Myers is the guy at the bar that sucks in dirty work? Yes. Yeah, Mike Myers is the guy that got his nose bit off. Yeah. This is an interesting alternate universe.

Would Mike Myers have made a good Beverly Hills Ninja? Yeah. I don't think so. No. What I keep thinking, if I've seen all of Shrek 3. Yes. Shrek 3 is a bad movie. Yeah.

But I've seen it all. So I know the basic. I know it off by heart. Shrek 3 is a bad movie but I've seen it all so I know the basic I know it off by heart I could say hey Shrek my child let daddy do Shrek 3 for you and I do the movie for my child and I make it better ok so what do you think

as an 8 year old is going to be more appealing watching your father do pretty much an interpretive dance that lasts for 100 minutes or seeing an animated film at a cinema. Wait, wait. It's very important that we know.

Jackson, what does your Shrek impression sound like? Donkey! Shrek! All right. That's me talking to my child. Let me do I'm Shrek From the movies Let me do Shrek 3 for you I do imagine that

Your impression of every character Sounds just like that Do donkey I'm donkey I'm gonna make waffles for breakfast If you're stuck in a groundhog day, though, you would get better at the voices. Oh, yeah.

You've got several hundreds of years to practice this. That's Jackson's self-improvement, practicing the voices from Shrek until he can do them kind of. Well, okay. So what would make this movie-going experience good for our son Shrek? What would make this movie-going experience good for our son Shrek? Say, for example, what if we were to, say, smuggle in his favorite dinner of, say, spaghetti and meatballs?

Shrek does love spaghetti and meatballs. That's true. So we could smuggle that into the cinema. They can eat that. They're having a good time eating spaghetti. Are they the kind of child that if they see us enjoy it, will they then also enjoy it? Could we trick their eight-year-old brain that actually this is a good film? Can we gaslight our son into believing that Shrek the Third actually rocks?

Also, they are right. They might just like the film. How good's this movie, Shrek? That's what I'll say, but not that loud in the cinema. Shut up! That's me. Not that, but not that loud in the cinema. Shut up! That's mean. Not that angry. I'm in the cinema, too.

Hey! Hey, you with the kid called Shrek! What? Sit down! Hey, he hates the movie, and I'm trying to make it good for him. Well, hey, buddy, I hate you. How about that? Shrek, stay here.

Daddy's got to go fight someone. I'm coming up there! Oh, you wouldn't! Sit down down you clown he's right Shrek your dad's a coward yeah that's what I thought shut up and enjoy the movie Shrek hates his family in this one

I've taught you a bad lesson Shrek no Shrek Shrek 4 Shrek 4 is the one where he like gets rid of his family Shrek 3 he's just like afraid to be a dad. It's all about just being a middle-aged man. Although I guess they're all kind of like about that.

Yeah, yeah. Shrek goes to, he's going to get Prince Arthur in this one, yeah? I don't know. I don't remember. The frog dies? Yeah, that's it. And then Fiona does a girl boss and gets all the princesses together and it's not good.

But is there enough there for an eight-year-old to glom onto and enjoy? What? Here's a question. Can we hype it up certain sections? Are you excited for when Prince Arthur, voiced by Justin Timberlake, comes on the scene? We get our kid loving Justin Timberlake. And if our kid loves Justin Timberlake. on the scene. We get our kid loving Justin Timberlake. And if our kid loves Justin Timberlake.

Right, we would have to prime them. We would have to play the songs from the movie in the car on the way there to make sure that he knows the Led Zeppelin song. Quick question. Yeah. What time's the screening? Yeah, great question. 6.30.

PM? 6.30, okay. Okay. Sure. Well, not AM. That would be fine. Just clarify. I don't know if I have to wake up and get there real quick.

Yeah. It's like late enough in the day that the entire day is sort of about how excited he is about the movie. Okay. But like early enough in the day that you have to see the fallout. I got a great plan. I got a great plan. I got a great plan.

Okay. Well, Mia. Okay. Mia. Mia. Sorry. Just before your great plans, Emmett. Mia.

Yeah. Movies in America open on a Friday, right um was that yeah we're talking about usually usually now they'll open at like six o'clock on a thursday evening okay so in 2007 they probably would have been like a i guess 2007 they would have been a midnight screening of shrek the third screening yeah on a so it's a thursday night the entire day your son is so excited for shrek the third. Oh, midnight screening of Shrek the third. So it's a Thursday night the entire day your son is so excited for Shrek the third. Oh, no. And you have to wait until midnight. Oh, even easier. Okay, cool.

So it's midnight? Alright, got a perfect plan, perfect plan, perfect plan. Eight-year-olds, right? Can they really they'll need to nap at some point, right? True. We don't make a nap. He's not napping. We're keeping him up. We're keeping him up, awake He's not napping. Oh. We're keeping him up. We're keeping him up, awake, busy, tired.

Horns. We're exhausting this boy with a lot of physical activity and a lot of mental games that we have to play as well or something. I want this boy tired both physically, emotionally, and mentally so that by the time that midnight ticks around, I sleep in the armchair of the cinema and we pick him up, take to the car, go home, and hopefully the next day we'll be like, you saw Shrek and you loved it,

and never have to think of it again. The next day we wake up and we've got to do it again. See, now you've kind of made it like a beautiful thing because now all that you have to do is spend quality time with your son doing whatever you can think of to exhaust yourselves. I was thinking I'd honk air horns at him. Now you get to go on hikes, you get to go to the zoo

and play ball and you have to do something fun every day. But Sam had said we had to emotionally exhaust our child so I'm going to say daddy hates you. Then when he's subscribed he'll be like just kidding. Daddy hates you, daddy hates you, daddy thinks you're scum, you're a scum like, just kidding. Daddy hates you. Daddy hates you.

Daddy thinks you're scum. You're a scum child. Just kidding. Daddy's funny. Then I'll leave the room, come back in. Hey, Shrek. I wasn't kidding. Daddy hates you.

Oh, so you're going to bounce back and forth between tough love and actual hate for your child and just exhaust them through gaslighting. I'll be so sleepy. And air horns for whenever he starts to fall asleep. What, Dad? Daddy hates you. Just kidding. Daddy loves you. You gotta confuse him.

That's true. If the movie's at midnight, just go to bed beforehand. That's true. Hey, I'm just gonna have a quick nap before the movie. Never have to bed beforehand. That's true. Hey, I'm just going to have a quick nap before the movie. Never have to say it. Yeah, wake daddy up in three minutes. Daddy, why did you just wink at me? Daddy hates you.

Just be like, oh, my son Shrek. All right, it's 11 o'clock. Daddy's just going to take a one hour and one minute nap. Here's the air horn. Wake me up at 12.01am. Yeah, exactly. Oh no, if you go to sleep at any point during the Groundhog Day, then you

wake up in the next day. So any nap? So it could be 3pm and you could take a nap and you'd wake up again. Beautiful. You've never seen Shrek 3. Yeah. That's a great choice. I was gonna pick... You all picked times you weren't alive, okay? I was alive in 2007. I love you

the day I'm Jackson. Me as Jackson, right? Yeah, I'm 13 years old. Jack! Come on! So I'm gonna pick as the worst possible day to get groundhogged The day I was born

Do you Question Your brain Hang on Are you you Or are you a baby When you went back to the 60s and 30s you were you just in a different time period so i guess i have to be me with my brain as it is yeah but in my baby body but would

you be as a baby body because when i went back to 2007 i wasn't me in 2007 i was myself now so so am i an adult yeah oh no you're! You're an adult. You're an adult on the day you were born. So you could go watch your you could go watch yourself be born. No, I thought you were an adult on the day you were born inside your mom. Oh no. That's what I thought too. That's why I'm so scared.

No, no, no, no. Okay. Start your day in your mom's pussy. That's not a good way to start a day. Explode out if I'm an adult. Wow, this is never going to be not traumatizing. I kill my mom every day. Every day. The doctors are so scared.

I can't explain it. I'm 30, you screamer. I'm 31. It's like not a big deal. Whatever, it doesn't matter. You're not going to be real tomorrow or whatever. I think, yeah, so it would have to be you as you are now but then i guess whoever is yeah your mother would be giving birth to baby you

at the hospital i assume yeah yeah yeah yeah i was gonna mock you for being like were you born in hospital but i if i'd said i was born in the woods, you wouldn't be shocked. But I was like, no, I was a bog bird. My mom didn't know she went into labor and gave birth to me in a bowling alley. That's the Jackson origin. I came out, rolled down, strike. Then the ball machine polished me

and I was good to go. You know how I'm so shiny? Because I was polished when I was less than an hour old. Well, if it's the day I'm born but I'm me, that's cool because I can steal me. But it's not cool because I can't do anything with me, you know? Yeah. But I can... Well, okay.

You can fight your dad, I guess, on the day you were born. You could fight your dad any day. I don't need to fight my dad. Hey! That's me! Slam! Well, I guess, like, because when you envisioned this to be the worst day for you to be groundhog day, I was imagining that I was the baby.

Yeah, because you were spending an eternity being in your mom's pussy than out of your mom's pussy. Coming out. Because it's like, one, it probably is awesome in the womb. Right? That place probably kicks ass. Yeah. And leaving it's going to suck. Yeah.

So I get to experience that every day. Hey, everyone listening, what's it like to diagnose Jackson with an Oedipal complex in real time? I don't know. Also, here's a time i don't know also here's a question here's a question how like early in the process do newborn babies fall asleep like after baby's born it's gonna be crying immediately but does it then fall asleep like an hour later because it's so exhausted i get an hour every day you're just gonna have to wake up in the womb and then be born and then chill for get an hour every day. Are you just gonna have to wake up in the womb and then be born and then chill for like an hour and be scared and hurt

and then be born again? Because my body is so like barely formed. It's formed. This buck baby is barely formed. You know how like in taxidermy they, they pull the frog's arms and legs out? That's how Jack's newborn. So I come out splayed.

But in that hour, I don't have any strength or any way of communicating to anybody to try to prove my sin. You have no voice. How am I staying awake if I realize that's what's happening? You can't support your neck. You're also, imagine all the bad jokes you're going to have to hear. Like, they're going to say weird stuff about your weird little head and be like, is this supposed to look like that? And you're going to have to hear it every day.

I did come out possibly really blue, I think. Because I didn't have enough oxygen or something, or really pink. I came out heaps one color. So everybody was saying, what's wrong with this baby? Jesus Christ. In the 15 minutes you exist in this time loop,

you're in a womb, you're upset as you get pushed through a pussy. You get taken out. Well, it depends. Also, Jackson, I'm sure you don't know, but it depends on what time of day you were born because you could have been born at 2 a.m. or you could have been born at 9 p.m., you know?

I think I was born in the early morning. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure I was an early morning baby. So you could chill in the world with everyone for a while as long I'm pretty sure I was an early morning baby. So you could chill in the world with everyone for a while, as long as you don't fall asleep. At what point do you kick in, right? Because it's when you wake up

that day? Oh yeah, it's when you wake up that day. So as a baby, how long are you awake in the womb before you... I mean, I'm awake in the womb, right? I don't know how babies work in the womb when it comes to sleep. I'm awake in the womb before you... I mean, I'm awake in the womb, right? I don't know how babies work in the womb when it comes to sleep. I'm awake in the womb. For how long? You are awake

in the womb, but he's asking, like, what if you were awake for like... 13 hours. 13 hours in the womb? No, like, genuinely. Jackson is saying that he wants to be in the womb though, so that sounds great. Why?

I don't know. Babies seem to love it. He's got that nipple complex. How many babies have you spoken to about? So yeah, how long are you awake in the womb for, dude? I don't know. I guess the moment I wake up that morning. The first time I wake up in that 12-hour period is when I kick in.

Yeah. And then I got to wait a bit, I guess. It was early. Well, I don't know if babies are following a regular clock if they're awake, you know, in the morning or whatever. I don't know if that's what I would wake up. Because I'm assuming there's contractions, right? Would that wake up a baby? It's great how little we fucking know right now.

Flipped around. And then I come out. Can I talk? No! No, but I know how to talk yeah you know how to talk you don't have the muscles for it no you can't hold your neck up dude you have no kneecaps but I got a vocal cords I'm crying yeah okay so you can cry if we say yes you can talk what saying? Well, I can explain the situation. Ah, yes, Mrs. Bailey, you gave birth to a demon bog child. I know I look at one specific color.

I forget which. Possibly pink. I was breathing, I promise. What do you mean you were too pink? I don't know. Too pink or too blue or something? I was some color. Maybe it was my brother. I don't know.

Even if your body isn't ready for you to talk. If you're in a time loop and you get drunk, then you really are drunk. Or if you get high, then you really are high. So if you're in a time loop and you're a baby, then you really do have a baby-sized brain that can't hold all the information that you know. You have no wrinkles.

Eventually, you would just forget all of your life and who you are, and you would just be the baby. Yeah. That's cool. Well, that's not so bad. Yeah. It's great news if you get drunk or you get high. It sticks.

That means when I smoke 200 cigarettes. You feel it. I'll be healthier than ever. Well, if I've just become a baby, then, I mean, a bummer. You get to live your dream of being in the womb again yeah like for some reason and i guess you really can't do much to impact the world so not as a baby no not as a baby who is just a baby so i guess every morning i realize i am a 31 year old man in a baby's body, but then every night I forget.

I think that you would just have a vague recollection of at one point in your life having eaten a saltine or an energy drink or something like that, but you wouldn't know who or what you are. All I remember is Monster Energy Drink. That's all my baby brain can conjure. But what breaks the loop? Does anything break the loop?

I don't think I have an opportunity to break the loop. That's what I mean. Like, you'll just keep doing this over and over and over and over again. And yeah, it's like me, you're saying it just kind of like those memories become further and further back because your smooth baby brain takes over. And then suddenly you just have a little bit of cognizance of like waking up somewhere, I guess, warm and dark and then crying a lot and then sleeping and then well so so a lot of the time in these movies like they don't really know

why the loop is broke i watched a lot of time before i read this movie um why why were you watching a lot of time when you break loop movies mia yeah for what reason are you making a time loop movie because i had to like make a time loop movie because I had to make a time loop movie. What? If I wanted to help fund that, what would I do? Oh, it's on Indiegogo. You can just Google again and again movie Indiegogo

and you'll find it. Oh my God. Yeah. But yeah, I've never seen a movie where if you broke out of the time loop and you went into the next day, you would still be a one day old baby baby jack so you'd have an a chance to relive your entire life with the knowledge potentially that you have now this could be an okay day but we were saying that my baby brain takes over and i forget being me now yeah So does that mean that I wonder if, if is your body gets like more cognitive cognizance,

would you eventually remember everything? Or do I overwrite what was there once before? Learning how to use a spoon overwrites your childhood best friend. My memory of all my relationships at the moment. But now I can eat soup better. Hey! So yeah, that's a pretty bad one yeah i honestly i think out of all of them we went through jackson's definitely sounds the worst yeah that's sort of like a living hell yeah a little bit except for

you because you you knew it was worse but then you picked one that featured something you wanted to do which was be in your mother's womb which again is fucked up I just think that babies seem to enjoy it For anybody but Jackson to have to do that it would not be good It's nice that I've gone for something that's kind of frustrating JD went for something that's like nothing is happening Mia you were like

God I've got to not disappoint this child but also at the same time I've got to watch Shrek 3 and Jackson wants to be inside his mother. It's interesting what we would consider It is also funny that I was thinking about like, oh, what if I had a son that I had to take care of and Jackson's like, yeah, I want to be inside

my mom's womb. What if I was the son? Yeah. It really says a lot about us, I think. Yeah. Well, not much about anyone except Jackson, where it speaks volumes, really. I don't know, babies just seem annoyed when they've got to get out of there. You're not helping your own case.

And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. And I've been Mia. And Mia, we're hearing a lot about this film. Again, again. Yeah, it's coming up again, again. There's an Indiegogo campaign for it currently.

Do you want to tell us a little bit about that? Yeah, I'm making a movie this summer. I'm super duper, duper excited about it. It's written and directed and produced and starring trans women in a sci-fi movie. And I think that is very cool, if I can say that. Is there any kind of thing you could talk about the plot, like a bit of a sizzle for?

No, I can't say anything about any of that stuff. Fair enough. Yeah, time loops plus lesbians plus, like, depression and, you know, post-COVID feelings. And it's all those things. And you can check us out on Indiegogo. Just check out the show notes or Google Indiegogo again again film and you'll find it. Fuck yeah. Yeah, perfect.

And this episode actually ties directly into that because obviously this was a time loop episode and Jackson Zantz gave all of us depression. Yeah. There you go. You're welcome. Thank you so much for joining us me

and everyone should go fund your movie. Yeah. Thanks for having me guys. Anytime. You're fucked Jackson.

You're fucked up dude. up dude