Plumbing the Death Star - Which Would be the Worst Fictional Character to Sit Next to on an International Flight?

Episode Date: November 24, 2024

Plumbing the Death Star has reunited after their UK tour and just in time for the Cheerful Earful Podcast festival, and they're talking planes and air travel. Jackson is scared the hulk will suck him like a lollipop, Duscher somehow ends up joining the Fellowship of the Ring, and Zammit gets put up for adoption. So buckle your seatbelt, make sure the tray table is up, shut the window, and get ready to enjoy your flight. Be careful, there's a capuchin monkey in the toilet.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a Fizz member, you can look forward to free data, big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over to the following month, every month. At Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at fizz.ca. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Here's a show that we recommend. I didn't even know what Thirsty meant until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no. That's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jesse Kruxshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com.

I was so scared because I was on the other side of the stage that I was going come out and you're gonna prank me And stay on your side of the stage. We really should have done that I was so scared. That's why I don't have like I crapped my head around Just checking the other boys were there. Thank God You even like when I was on stage you looked at me like you're like, oh wait, am I am I making a mistake? That's my constant normal background thought, am I fucking this up? Well that's fair enough because most of the time the answer is yes. Exactly, it comes from experience. Hey welcome to a live edition of Plumbing the Death Star.

You should hopefully know this if you're here but Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. And in this podcast, we ask the important questions. And today we are asking, which would be the worst fictional character, not universe, which would be the worst fictional character to sit next to on an international flight?

So you can imagine for those in the know, me and Dusha just came back from touring the UK with James Mr. Sun and movies so we've experienced it yeah we've been on it it's about a 24-hour flight to the UK at about 18 hours back yeah and it's awful yeah we're still jet lagged into kind of yeah like what kind of flight because I reckon like if you go and say Perth to London yeah like one leg you're not laying over anywhere. It's Perth to London. Yuck! Which is like what, 16 hours?

Right? Okay. So no stopover? No stopover. But I was here to Perth. Perth was a stopover. This is maybe a little crass to say in a podcast, but put me on that flight and I want that flight to go down. Like, it gets about 11 hours in and I'm like,

get me in the cockpit. Well, you start thinking that when you're 11, because you're like, something's gonna happen. What's it full of? Why is it locked? Just, yeah, I don't know if you guys have flown to the other side of the world before. It's really bad and no one should do it.

Yeah, you sort of slowly start to go insane. Like from the moment you take off, take off's a bit fun. And then you're like, oh, I can watch a movie. And then you watch another movie. Oh, I can watch another movie. And you're like, what if I killed myself? Yeah, and maybe everyone else. What if I took this whole plane down?

You're just in there stewing, watching as the little plane goes across the map. If I went insane today, I could be there. I could make it spin. Exactly. And I guess for just the reason why we're so inspired, I'm still so jet lagged. I haven't slept for more than three hours a night since I got back last weekend. When did you get up this morning? 3.30.

Yeah, when did you go to sleep? Just after midnight. Fantastic. That's good. That's been normal for me for a week and let me tell you, it does not feel good. Yeah. I'm so tired that I'm actually like a bad vibe to be around. I seem normal but um... The energy wafting off you? Awful. That's why I've pulled away from Jackson slightly. I'm gonna fuck Zammet's day up

and wake my good friend Jackson. Thank you man, I appreciate that. But yeah, Jackson and and I flew to the UK we were next to each other the whole time so that's a bit fun and it's exciting because you're going somewhere yeah on the way back we did the long flight at the short flight first yeah which is bad because you get off an eight-hour flight and then you're like sweet still have another 13 hours to go and I'm at a different airport now yeah this is awesome and then when we boarded the the 13 hour flight our seats had been split up. Yeah. So Jackson was sitting in between two... He was separating. Yeah. Naughty kids in cars. Yeah. Not by the... Well... No, not these two. No, no, no, no. You gotta go over there. Yeah. So we were sitting

diagonal, like I was diagonally behind Jackson. Yeah. Which made the flight worse? Then you just got strangers. I was sitting next to a couple that Look were they stoked I was there no Was I doing anything to deserve their ire also no I made a friend. I had a great time The lady next to me we became like buddies when I was asleep She would nudge me when breakfast came and when when she was asleep, I would nudge her. And we never wanted breakfast. But I would wake up and she'd be like, breakfast. And I'd be like, oh, good.

And then when she woke up, I was like, breakfast. And she's like, oh, I'm good. And we gave each other a knowing look, like, we're breakfast buddies. This could blossom into something if we stoke these fires. But it didn't. Yeah, exactly. Oh yeah, that's funny because on the previous flight when it was I was window seat you were middle seat And then there was a poor woman next to us. You have to keep waking her up to go to the bar

Yeah, she hated me dude. I had to piss. Yeah I really like was it coming back from the UK once you buy yourself Yeah, and like you ended up becoming like a pseudo babysitter to a child? Well, so I was sitting next to this lady and she was extremely frazzled and she was just like having a terrible time and she laid down with her baby and went immediately to sleep but the baby didn't and then the baby just like handed me its toy and I was like, I guess, and I took it off the baby and the baby just fell asleep and then for two hours I was just sitting there with the stuffed tiger being like what do I do? Can't give it back. Oh, and then when the lady woke up, she looked over at me and she must have been like did

So the shit out of me though Cuz it was like this it was just going kick kick kick kick kick kick and I was just sitting there I'm like, I'm like I'm holding your tiger, dude Leave me alone Wasn't that ulcer? I don't know if it was the like the Woman the mother fell asleep on you or if the baby was leaning on you But I remember your head friends also died Yes

And stand up because she was she was in the RC and I was in the middle. And I was halfway through watching Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring, the extended edition. So I was like, that's like four hours each. So that'll last me the whole flight. But then my headphones died, and I was like, I got nothing else. So I had to watch it with subtitles. Well, a baby kicked me, and I held a tiger in one hand. Pretty sure that was Peter Jackson in Deadly.

Exactly. Full screen. Yeah. Maybe kicking you. So, okay, so we're saying 16 hour flight from Perth. Yep. Okay, that's the one. And yes, your headphones are like, you're dead dead.

We've got dead headphones. Dead headphones. Your phone or whatever is just like also out of battery. Is it maybe it's- No, no. It's like that time where we do it and I dropped my phone and it went behind the thing. Yeah.

And I had to, I kept searching for it. Drop your phone, it's gone. You. And I had to keep searching for it. It's gone, you're like, ah damn, you checked like in-flight attainment with the screen that's cracked. Oh no. Can I get another one? They're like, no. And you're like, okay. Okay. So you're raw dogging this. Worst possible flight.

Now, this is important. What's the seating arrangement? What's the worst place to have somebody bad to be on a plane with? I honestly think Window seat with two strangers next to you and the person we're talking about is in the middle seat Okay, they're in the middle seat. Okay. Yeah, and the person on the aisle is asleep Add insult to injury. Oh, well, I was gonna say and maybe this is an obvious pick but Bruce Banner and I know he's the Hulk So I'm leaning against the window and he gets this meal and I look over and I'm like, is he like it?

What do you think's gonna happen? He's gonna take a bite and be like, this chicken and rice is bad so I'm becoming the Hulk? Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, you want chicken and beef and then this one goes like, oh, I'll have the beef. And then Bruce is like, I'll also have the beef.

Like, oh, sorry. You had the last one. That was the last one. Don't pop my head off, man. You can have my beef. In line. And I just think, cause if the Hulk, if a guy goes from guy to Hulk in a plane suit, Yeah, that's scary.

The plane is going down. Yeah. And then I might have to survive on like a desert island with the Hulk. And that's scary too. Cause I think the thing about me is that I, I'll get on your nerves. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, that's scary too because I think the thing about me is that I'll get on your nerves yeah no that's like it's not so much what the Hulk's gonna do to me it's that I think I'll be annoying enough to Bruce Banner that he'll become the Hulk yeah and then you're the Hulk's in like

inciting incident yeah exactly meeting you I'm kicking him yeah hold my tiger yeah yeah I'm kicking him! Yeah! Hold my tiger! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I don't know what. Thor just cradling you? Okay, awesome scenario. I've become a baby.

Because of a wizard's kiss. I just don't match you as you are now. Okay, Thor is just carrying me around. I got a strange and awesome relationship with Thor. Where I am a baby to him. And he's allowed to take me on a flight for free if I am a baby Perhaps I am jet-lagged also You're talking such a big game before when I was falling asleep at dinner, Yeah, I was like, I'm fixed. And just then I proposed.

Yes, you proposed. Thor can take me on a plane for free. If I am a baby. Not even if I'm a baby, if Thor thinks I'm a baby. So that's an adult man. Is he is he going to see? Oh, no, I think he's a baby. Oh, right this way. Oh please.

Please son of a... That's a powerful riff to be making ten minutes in. I think so. Yeah. So, okay. Yes. Let's ignore the Thor situation for a bit for the sake of this podcast. Yeah. So Hulk's next to you. You think that's bad. I bit for the sake of this podcast.

Yeah. So Hulk's next to you, you think that's bad. I mean, the plane's going down. That is, I would say, a critical failure of sitting next to someone. If they result in the plane crashing, that is bad. Well, do you think if Bruce Banner became the Hulk in his seat, is that crashing the plane? Yeah. Does Hulk know he's on a plane? Yeah.

What? What? Like, what's your... Okay, let's say the ants... I think I got this. So like, if you're Bruce Banner, with the potential of always being a Hulk in the back of your brain, and you're there and Bruce is watching the world out of Bruce's eyes, you think the Hulk is like one step behind?

Yeah, kind of. Like he goes, and then he's got to be like oh I'm on a plane. Yeah like he doesn't know what Bruce knows. Otherwise like every time he turns into Hulk it's the first he's like a little bit of shock. Yeah like he's gonna be like okay what let me assess what's going on and maybe that's why he goes crazy. Maybe it's like that like that instant where it's just like yeah, you first wake up. Yeah Hulk is getting shot up by a tank That's imagine waking up and you're getting shot up by a tank never good. Yeah, so I just want to check though What what what would that change?

Like the Hulk's like I'm on a plane so I'm not no cuz If the Hulk already knows that they're on a plane... Uh huh. When they become the Hulk... Oh, they're gonna be respectful. Well because... Hulk, Hulk, make my waist small so I fit! Oh, Hulk, apologize!

When he wakes up the sleeping guy. Hulk must rampage. Oof for Hulk. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Excuse Hulk, excuse Hulk. Argh! Then he's just running up and down the aisle. He'll tire himself out. I think the Hulk, as strong as he is,

couldn't get past the big thing with like the drinks and the food. Trolley? Because it's like you can't walk around that. He just, ugh, ugh. And then he's going to kind of go up to this hide like this and the trolley goes past. Like just walks through the other aisle, just goes, just goes, just goes, uh.

In this situation, okay, I have a theory. Do you reckon the trolley's that wide and that tough solely so that the aisle seat's not the ideal seat on a plane? Cause without the trolley, aisle seat, easy win. And the trolley, what's the situation? Cause the aisle seat, you always get in the light, oh excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.

Yeah, and when I was in the RC, because I was in the RC on the way up and I was sleeping like this, right? Did you get hit in the head with a trough? Every time, everyone was walking past and I would be asleep and then I'd get donked in the head. No, we're doing it on purpose. I would sleep next to you. Wake up! Donk him. Hit him!

Hit him in the head. Yeah, so do you think a guy becoming a Hulk, or Bruce Banner becoming a Hulk, is that going to wreck the plane? No, because I think your body is in between the Hulk and the wall of the plane. I'm getting squished. I don't think that's going to like, impact that. No. And depends how like...

Is he strong enough to like, knock me out onto the wing? Well if he's doing that, the plane's going there. Yeah that's true. I'm getting sucked into the engine or whatever. That is how I'll go. It'll be like, you know the scene in Indiana Jones. I always thought you could go by a bus, but no, I think you're right. It'll be like the scene in Indiana Jones, but I'm not in a fight. I'm just standing there and I'm just...

Do you think that if someone has the perfect death the funeral's less sad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, that made sense, we're not mourning today. I think so. I hope that's what my eulogy is. I'm not mourning today. No, no, no. Every friend's family, good, right? Yeah.

Checks out. Common sense happens. Sometimes miracles do happen. Yeah, it would be a miracle. Yeah. So I just think it would be bad. I think he'd destroy the seats. He'd go crazy. I think there's just like a really high chance like to sleep through that. Yeah. Exactly. I'm tired. I'm cranky too. It's not really on you making him mad. I just think the flight in general would just kind of get on his nerves a bit. Yeah. You know, he's going to be the Hulk. It's kind of your responsibility to

calm him down. So I'm going to be like,. It's kind of your responsibility to calm him down. So I'm going to be like, you cool? You chill? Can I get you anything? Sounds getting real low, big fella or whatever. You want a valium moose? Hey, do you want my moose? I got, I got, I won't eat it. You can have it. Two mooses? Is that going to stop you being the Hulk? And then he's like, don't reveal that, dude. Is Bruce Banner trying to keep it a secret he's the Hulk? I guess if he's on a plane. Yeah, that's true. What are they going to do though?

Would you board a plane knowing? Yeah, that's a fair call. Do you think if they found out he was the Hulk on the plane, they'd upgrade him to first class? Yes. I reckon they'd put him in the dog bit. What, Bruce Banner the man? If they do that I'm scared. I'm sitting there thinking he's below me right now and he cannot be happy. Yeah but. Imagine if they put him in a cage or loose. I don't know, to be honest. I don't think

you can put Bruce in a cage. You can put Bruce Banner in a cage or just turn into the Hulk and get out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I just think that's safer for him down there I think if you turn into the Hulk if you put Bruce Banner in a cage Then he became the Hulk he'd be like the Hulk with a cage on his head Good mental image. Yeah, great. It's not doing like the This what happened you put Hulk in cage what happened when you put Hulk in cage. Sir, just... No one put Hulk in cage.

Yeah. Just to get through the Hulk stuff. Okay, please. Sir, the reason he's bad is because he gets big. Mm-hmm. And angry. The reason I don't think Hulk would be good on a plane is because I know I'm gonna piss him off.

And Hulk on a plane is bad in general. And he might pick me up and pop my head off or whatever. Yeah, okay, so... He might eat me like a lollipop, suck my head so much that my face goes you know. So fear of my features off. Yeah dude. Um so yeah so we're just sticking with yeah awesome uh so we're just sticking

well not sticking with uh but the reason fear of death basically. Yeah yeah I think so and and I think I would just make my flight worse because I'd be like more conscious of what I was doing hmm you know what I mean like when you're on a plane like okay so say in the flight together the way up yeah there was a point where I was so tired I was sleeping on you yeah I wasn't like snuggling up but I was like lying against you a little bit and I wouldn't want to do that to Bruce Banner but you do it to your good friend me who you're not gonna become the Hulk and suck my features off. No.

No, that's not a risk. Like, when you board a plane, like, you know, it's not gonna happen, but there's always a little chance it could go down. Yeah. Whereas if you have with the Hulk there, it's like, you might not go Hulk mode, but there's a bigger chance. Just being on a plane is frustrating. And then, like I said, if we go down and we both survive, now I'm in a survival situation

with Bruce Banner. And that's also frustrating. Isn't that good? Because Hulk will survive. Well, Hulk will survive. Yeah. Isn't that good for him? Well, no, no, no.

He's in like a situation. Hulk needs to eat. Yeah. Two regular guys end up on a desert island. That's worse for you than you and the Hulk, I reckon. Why? Because the Hulk can't really... Here's what happens if it's me and the Hulk on a desert island, okay worse for you than you and the Hulk I reckon why the Hulk can't really is what happens if it's me and the Hulk in a desert island okay he gets frustrated swims away and as I watch his green

form disappear the rise and I say sent send help come back for me yeah I hope sir well yeah isn't that that's actually bad for Bruce Banner because if he'll get far enough away he won't be frustrated anymore. Then he's just a guy in the middle of the ocean I think that he will probably stay Hulk in that situation very long guys Well, yeah, sir look being killed by the Hulk on a plane is pretty bad. Yeah, I've got a deal But I think you've really underestimated How bad bad vibes can just be on a plane? Okay, really fuck with your flight Just sitting next to a guy who sucks. Yeah. Yeah fair fair. So I was thinking I was like, alright

So yeah, you could go for a big guy. Mm-hmm That's annoying like I've sat between two comically massive people on a flight before yeah felt like I was in a sitcom It was like getting on a plane and seeing two like quite large people and then your seat in the middle You're like, is this a joke? It felt like a joke. It wasn't a joke. I had to sit there. Yeah this How long was the flight? I think it was Melbourne to Sydney. That's not too bad. Basically complainin. Yeah Yeah, but like you can make do with that Yeah, I don't think the Hulk's turned into the Hulk on a plane because he doesn't want to kill a lot of innocent people

That's fair. So the person I think would be terrible to sit next to is because they would look unpleasant, sure, working through some stuff, have the capability to do things that will just like wreck your whole flight and maybe kill you. That is a guy from my favorite series of all time. I've made a very known, I love this franchise. Yeah. But Frodo with the ring from Lord of the Rings.

Why do you sound so middle? He's small, so you're like, oh yeah, sweet. Flipping hazard, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Hobbits look like they fucking stink. Yeah, but they don't look like they, what do you think a hobbit smells like? Moss. Yeah, like earth.

That's fine. If you were on a flight and next to you was a pile of dirt, you wouldn't complain. I think I would. What are you saying? I'll be the flight attendant. Okay. Hi. What's the problem?

I seem to be sat next to a pile of dirt. Yes. So, well, yeah, somebody bought a ticket for it, so. It's getting in my seat. Well, let me just sweep it back. Yes, so no, well, yeah, they somebody bought a ticket for it sir Getting in my seat. Well, let me just sweep it back. I'm really sorry. Yeah, that's not gonna cut it when this I'll strap it down. I'll come and strap down the dirt. I don't think you can Can we vacuum it up? I don't know. No the dirt needs to arrive in the UK. Yeah, I'm sorry. Vacuum it up? It'll be in the bag of the vacuum. I explicitly, I'm not allowed to vacuum the dirt, sir. I'm sorry.

Can you give me like a shovel and a- I think you're gonna get rid of the dirt. It's my job to protect the dirt, sir. I'll contain it in a bag. Sorry, sir. Has there been a problem here? Yeah, this person, yes. Thank you so much for coming. I'm the pilot. What are you doing?what are you doing?

What are you doing? I got high sets of opportunity! No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sir, you're gonna need to calm down and treat all passengers with respect. Including that pile of dirt. That pile of dirt paid for a ticket, sir. Yeah. With money.

Mysterious benefactor. Okay, yeah, but it's now as you can see every time we move is just going everywhere. It's no longer a pile of dirt. We just know what's flying is right anymore. Yeah, dude, you should get back up there, dude. It's funny to imagine you running to the pilot seat taking it over and the pilot just sitting in your seat. Let's see. Well, okay.

Okay then. Uh, but yeah, so Bobo looks like he's that Bobo. Little Bobo. A chimpanzee? Yeah. Okay. Uh. That won't be bad, dude.

A little bit. A butterfly? It's scary. Yeah, man. You don't want that. Had I gone to planet seeing a chimpanzee just- Boos? No, just like strapped in, in, just sitting like a regular guy. That's so scary. Is it scarier if he's got clothes on or if he's just like basic chimp naked?

Let me think, let me think. Yeah, let me imagine sitting... I think clothes, I'm like, this might be like a... Yeah, clothes, I'm not as worried. Dunstan checks in situation. Fine with clothes, I think the worst is like a regular chimp buckled in. Yeah. He's scared.

He's not trying to get out. He's just very skilled. It's okay so that's... Yeah like a chimpanzee just strapped in but the chimpanzee looks like it's meant to be there. Yeah like the chimp is waiting for the plane to take off. I'm worried, I'm scared, maybe I think I'm a chimp? It's the world of chimps. I think, is it scary if he's like tapping the in-flight entertainment?

What's the scariest movie is you watch him swipe through with his big chimp finger. I don't know, The Apes. Burton one. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Burton one. If he's watching Blood of the Apes, I'm like, somehow this plane is going to go somewhere, and I'm gonna get out of the plane. This plane's about to go to the Planet of the Apes. I would try and befriend the apes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's playing at something. Earth is also bad. Look, this might be a crazy claim. If you see a chimpanzee or a orangutan, pretty much any ape, sitting on a plane but with a look on their face

like they're meant to be there and they're buckled in, clothes, no clothes, same vibe. Really? So if he's in a little suit it's not better or worse? No. I think if he's in a little suit it's better. Yeah. Because I'm like, he's not going to go crazy, he's got a little suit, it's not better or worse? No. I think if he's in a little suit, it's better. Yeah. Because I'm like, he's not going to go crazy. He's got business in his...

Exactly. He's got a meeting to attend or something. Yeah, exactly. Being headhunted or whatever. He's going to pay for that in-flight internet so he can do a Zoom call. I'm not concerned. No.

If I saw a ch... Okay. Obviously, there has been about 35 things that have surprised me in this situation I'm about to paint before I get to this 36th. Yeah, okay. If I see a chimpanzee open a laptop, join a Zoom call, I'm like, staring at the screen, who's gonna join? It's so funny. If it's all chimps.

All like, I'm also like- I was thinking like, like just chatting to like a chimp and they're in like a lovely, almost like a house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, with pearls and everything and like lipstick on. I'm just imagining a bunch of other... Chatting to his family? ...calling home. I'm imagining another bunch of other business chimps.

And he's just got a headset on and he's like... And I look at the other tube so I'm like they're not even fucking talking about anything What are they doing in there? Why do you spend money on this call? What are they planning? What are they organizing? Starts doing that nod they do. Okay then I'm scared again. It's getting too exciting on the fly.

They figured something out. They've come to some kind of conclusion. know what they do. Okay, then I'm scared again. He's getting too excited on the fly. They figured something out. They've come to some kind of conclusion and I'm scared. Okay, Frodo with the ring. Yeah, Frodo with the ring, worst vibe imaginable, sucks the joy out of people, so you're already feeling terrible, you're sitting next to this guy who smells like shit and dirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're like, when you first see me like sweet like he's a little guy He's not gonna think of too much room spread out or whatever, but he's gonna be like he get he'll get like real sweaty It's real sweaty when he's on the ring sweaty and scared Well, it didn't he's gonna just be gone for a bit you're gonna like where'd he go? So you imagine he's using the ring? Yeah, he loves to use the ring. He holds a ring for long enough He's like better put it on. He should have put it in his fricking, he should have checked it. He should have checked it. Gandalf would have hated that.

Well, Gandalf's not on the flight, or is he? I'm like looking around, big staff. Big pointy hat. Take your hat off. Why? You're on a flight, don't wear a hat. Who cares? Leave him alone.

You're obscuring my vision of what? The rest of the plane? I don't know! Then wear his hat! It feels heavy, it feels hot! Yeah, but... I don't like it. That's his problem.

He should take off his robe too. Yeah, but once again that's their problem, not mine. Yeah, I don't know. It annoys me. Yeah, I think what would bother me is Gandalf was there but not sitting next to Frodo, but like, there's all the fellas over here? Why are they sitting together? Sheep down on... Pick a here? Why are they sitting together?

Sheep down on... Big at the seat? Where are they going, dude? Yeah. Are they flying to Mount Doom? Yeah. Is that where I'm going? Getting off Big Volcano?

I got thrown in the wrong flight, okay. Fuck! The Fellowship plus Jolted Jolted. He meant it. Uh... Okay, I guess we're destroying the ring? I think it gives you I mean like the walk up Mount Doom you could probably do. Yeah. Yeah but isn't the whole thing with the fact that it's given to a hobbit so that the eye can't

see him because he's small? No. A wonderful like interpretation. Isn't it something like that hobbits are like. Hobbits are the furthest away from God. Yeah. Yeah It is it's like elves are like too divine so the ring fucks them up hobbits are there down here Yeah, they're not people. Yeah, exactly nothing to do with it. I'm like ants. Yeah, but I'm in the middle I'm not gonna claim I'm elvish. But like so they give me the ring Sauron's like there it is Oh, you just instantly get corrupted. They give you the ring and you just gollum mode crawl away Humans end up doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're gonna go go. They can't give you the ring, dude That's bad if he on the flight produce like can you hold that and go to the toilet

can i have it back no what back it's mine now i think fish need fish it's not eating fish like golem too i was like i don't think that was the ring where'd he get the fish from? Brought them from home. I think this guy was already going to eat fish on the plane. Looking for any excuse I could. Marching on its hands. But yeah, you just can't trust Frodo with the ring and like I said, being around someone that is having the amount of bad vibes that Frodo is having. Like you're not gonna be able to get comfortable. You'll be watching a movie but out of the corner of your eye you'll just feel bad things.

Yeah, it's not just like him having the bad vibes. It's like sucking off your good vibes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You're going nowhere. Yeah, I mean the amount of good vibes I have on a flight is already, it's dwindling. And also like you try to go to sleep, you're seeing like Sauron's eye like at the corner of your eye. You gotta open your eye, okay, try to to go to sleep you're seeing like Sauron's eye like at the corner of your eye You open your eye. Okay, try to get back to sleep Yeah, like you wake up from a nap Frodo's not there some motherfucker with his like giant like black Yeah, go back to your seat

So return to your seat, please. They're experiencing mild turbulence. The rates are awesome. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessie Kirkshank and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture, but when I have questions, I get to phone a friend.

I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills After Show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know a thirsty man until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no. That's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jesse Kruikshank is not available on Facebook.

It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Launch grow and monetize their podcast everywhere a cast calm Watching a rogue right now down the plane is yeah, that would be sick. That's a when the fellowship gets first-class Anybody going to first-class Aragon? He's the king. Yeah, but he's the king of the people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah He's in like a car me up or me or maybe army Yeah, what's that? Oh Pippen here? Well, they stole their way into that area area people are with the dogs

Who's that king in one of the Lord of the Rings and he eats tomatoes all disgustingly and it Represents the bloodshed of man. I can imagine him doing that in first class. Why? No, well, what are the hobbits things in this? Carl or Keith Urban's dad. Yeah, Denethor's in first class guaranteed. I don't think he's in the fellowship though. I nobody's coming Yeah, yeah, yeah wormue comes up from you know economy to whisper stuff in his ear. I think that'd be my job in a medieval situation. Whispering? Yeah whispering to kings. Hey you're doing a great job. Like we starve them a little. Yeah evil Wormtongue is funny but it's also funny to be completely neutral worm tongue hey don't change a thing hey hey good job yeah you nailing it I

just turned into the king of this yeah that's right I also think you'd be terrible out of there because you wouldn't whisper hey kill this guy dude I'm gonna, what? Hey, kill this guy, dude. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.

You noticed these guys are doing a bit of this? Maybe you should. Yeah, but dude, execute them all. Ha ha. Guillotine the people. Just kill, kill them and their family. Yeah.

And their dog, I don't know, whatever. Why don't they burn down the village? Hmm. Just straight away shot with an app. Ha ha ha. Yeah, it's bad that I hadn't even like won the King's Confidence before. No. Yeah, trying bad that I hadn't even like won the King's confidence before. Yeah trying to worm tongue him. Oh well. Yeah so yeah like I

said Frodo, he just make the flight so unpleasant. Yeah like I'm trying to watch like Ocean's Eleven. Yeah classic plane movie. Yeah and then yeah bad vibes. Must be just pissing off everyone as well. Like, you know, you come in, oh, it's breakfast, fantastic. Yeah, I'll have like the eggs, and I just chuck at that. Yeah.

It pissed off, it's not at you. And then the hobbits are asking for second breakfast. Oh my God. Elevensies. You're like, you get, the meals we got on our first flight were maniac, dude. When Jackson and I flew to the UK. We had breakfast three times.

We had four breakfasts, two dinners. No lunch. No lunch. It went breakfast, dinner, breakfast, no. Didn't it go breakfast, dinner, breakfast, breakfast? Then breakfast, dinner. Yeah. You would be sitting there,

cause obviously on a flight you're like so delirious and someone would just be like breakfast and you'd be like, oh, again? Okay. Any chance of lunch? No. That's what it felt like. Oh, oh, oh, oh, meals are coming. Oh, that's exciting.

Hope it's not breakfast again. And every time. Except when it was dinner. Where's lunch? I want one sandwich. Yeah, it was just like, like so disorientating, because I'd be like, okay, we've been on the flight for a little bit. Brought you a sandwich.

And you're like, oh, I'm going to have a sandwich. And you're like, oh, I'm going to have a sandwich. And you're like, oh, I'm going to have a sandwich. And you're like, oh, I'm going to have a sandwich. And you're like, oh, I'm going to have a sandwich. And you're like, oh, I'm going to have a sandwich. And you're like, oh, I'm going to have a sandwich. And you're like, oh, I'm going to have a sandwich. And you're like, oh, I'm going to have one sandwich. Yeah, it was just like, like so disorientating because I'd be like, okay, we've been on the flight for a little bit breakfast. I'd be like, okay, it was 11pm Melbourne time. Yeah, only been in the air for like four hours.

I would have done dinner. Yeah, go up there for breakfast. Lights off, lights back on. Dinner. Lights off. It doesn't feel like for long enough. It's time to go to sleep. But it's like 40 minutes.

Oh, wake up. It's breakfast. Sorry. Thank off. It doesn't feel like for long enough. They're like, all right, it's time to go to sleep. But it's like 40 minutes. They're like, oh, wake up. It's breakfast. I'm sorry. Thank you. It was scary. Then you're looking at the map. You're like, has the plane not moved? What's going on? Fuck me anyway.

Yeah. Frodo, rough. Look, I think you're on the right idea with someone who sucks. To bring down the vibe of just like, not just you, but the whole plane. Yeah. Yeah, sure.

So like, you're talking about a monkey? I think I got the perfect guy whom sucks that would be the worst to sit next to, especially when you're raw-dogging this. Ross Geller. Eww! Yuck! You're right, he does come with a monkey. He does come with a monkey!

He's just a man, you just take one look at him and he's like, uh. Yeah, oh yeah, you see him coming. Maybe it's a situation, and you had this actually on the flatback, where you've got the seat next to you and you're like, maybe I've got a seat next to me. Oh my god. And then you look up and you see Ross Geller and you're like, he's sitting next to me. And he's sitting next to you. He's holding two carry-on bags and he's somehow like argued his way in. He's walking up the aisle, he's hitting everyone on either side with his bags he checks in one but he doesn't eat or like he puts one in the

overhead storage but he doesn't put the other and you're like where you gonna put that dude yeah he shoved it under your chair or something he turns you and complains about it yeah that motherfuckers like he's got two like oversized lug and a duffel bag yeah oh yeah well once with a monkey, he'll say, that's it. Sorry? There's a monkey in this duffle bag. Come again? He's my support monkey.

They're allowed on a plane. I don't know if they are, dude. And I don't think they're meant to be in a duffle bag. Then like, so not even, okay. So yeah, him getting on the plane and whatever annoying and the fact of which but he thinks that Everything that happens to him is way worse. Yeah. Oh, yeah So like he's having the worst flight, but he's making your flight was making it your business We like you'll be like I'm having a terrible time. Let me tell you why I'm having a terrible about a worse one

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like when the other dinners are coming around or whatever or the breakfast Mm-hmm, like, you know, I'll get one he gets the other and then say it's like he's he wanted my one that's Yeah, he's not gonna just come out and say hey can we switch hmm, I would be that's that's beneath him He'll be like he's got to have this whole big rigmarole I might have to get up to pee at one point and suddenly he has my dinner and I'm like what happened there Are you gonna would you say something you sit back back down he swiped your dinners. Oh no he's a lot bigger than me. Is he? He's a tall guy. Yeah fair enough. Even Schwimmer's tall. Okay. It's a tall name. Yeah. Even Schwimmer. Schwimmer is a tall name. It's a tall word.

I don't know he feels like he's got like an angry reign. Yeah yeah yeah yeah so you just sit down and quietly eat your meal I thought I was okay. This is now beef. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm looking at his he's there with a biggest grin Like daring me to say something. I'm sharing it with his monkey. Yeah Well, see, I think it's actually worse than that cuz I don't think he's sitting there happy that he stole your dinner He's still complaining about he's like, oh, he's disgusting and you're like, I would like gaslight me I think that never happened and then we're both in this together and maybe we're friends and I'm like, who these disgusting? And you're like, I would love to eat them. Oh yeah, he'll gaslight me into thinking that never happened and that we're both in this together. And then maybe we're friends and I'm like, who is this?

Oh, you don't want to end up friends with Ross. Well, at least you could be chained, look. Could be on the friends. It's like the opening of friends, but you're there without expression. I'll be there for you. You're just standing in the fountain like. Ugh.

I'm wet. I don't like any of these guys! One of them pushes you over and you're like Hey what the fuck man! Don't do that to people! Like what? Like they're meant to fall off but you like stand really still? No! What? What are you doing? I'll get my clothes wet!

Yeah we're just having fun No it's not funny for me! It's not funny for me Chandler Bing! It's fucking so cold right now. It's night time. I don't have a change of clothes, man. That's really put a dampener on the front seat. We've got a bad vibe now. Everyone's set a walkway.

Oh yeah. It's alright, we can still have fun without him. I don't know if we can. Do you think he... The fountain is too cold. He's actually right. I don't want to get pushed in either well let's go to Central yeah do you think that he would he would sleep on you on the plane oh yeah oh 100% how what my met with Dusha um so okay yeah you're me I'll be Ross okay feels right

he drool on me yeah absolutely. He drooled on me. Yeah, oh absolutely. And then if you nudged him awake, he'd be pissed off. Yeah. And how? He'd be like, how dare you? Let me sleep on you. You're my pillow. I feel like he would also talk to you about his job, where he would overplay his hand and say how he wants to sleep with one of his students. Yeah. What was that Ross?

Don't tell me that dude. It's not elite, it's frowned upon. I don't think it's just frowned upon Ross. I think it's bad. Ross, there is also a chance that he tells you the story of that time that he fucked his cousin or just wanted to. He almost made out with his cousin and his reason was because he hadn't had had sex in a while. Not a good enough reason Ross.

He's a guy who sucks. Oh yeah dude, big time. Is he also Monika's first kiss? in a while not a good enough reason Ross oh yeah dude be also money just first kiss probably with his sister accidentally at a Halloween party or something getting some nodes from the crowd taking that as yet sad nodes that was very real morose not yeah yeah also I think you like a didn't he have sex with like the school librarian?

Oh my god. Some sad nods if that's true. Everyone actually, people look mostly confused about this one, so maybe not. Yeah, okay. What about getting up to go to the toilet? He's in the middle seat, remember. Does he make it your business even though you're at the window? I'm just getting up to Pierce. No, no, no.

No, well, what he's doing, so he's looking around, the guy's like past his sleep, right? Yeah, I forgot about the guy. He can't go that way. So then Ross, thinking he's doing a kindness, will then try to orchestrate a way to climb over to the other side, using me to like

to balance. Put right in your crotch. Yeah, right in my crotch. Clamber over. Gigantic hand on my face. He vaults over, because he doesn't want to wake up the sleeping guy. It is crazy the way you have to get over the guy, the aisle guy sometimes.

I've seen people do a full straddle. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool. I can't imagine waking up to that. Huh? Plane life is interesting. I thought that would be it. Things are different in this guy. You just climb over a stranger if they're asleep. You gotta piss when you gotta piss. You gotta piss when

you gotta piss? Absolutely. Also the problem with Ross, if he somehow wrongly perceives that we've somehow formed a friendship. And he he would he would is that when like, you know, maybe I fall asleep But he looked like trying like play pranks. Oh, yeah Drawing on Rachel. Mmm. Oh, well then I mean he's already got the trick up his sleeve Yeah, you think it's gonna be the funniest throw a dick in your face. You're not gonna realize to you arrive You're saying hello to realize until you arrive, you're saying hello to your family. Mom's crying.

They put you up for adoption. Why would you do this? Putting your son up for adoption when they're well into their 30s is awesome. They put you up for adoption, they've adopted Ross. Ross is the new you. You've got to find a new dad. It's not really, when you're're old enough you have to find the parents

Obviously a kid can't find their own parents. Don't you gotta do it? How would you do that? How would you find a new mom and dad? Yeah, put an ad in the paper adult boy Looking for loving family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah recently abandoned seeks new mum and dad and then a phone number. Yeah. Like you know you go to old school around your neighborhood just like like lost and found. So they lost your face. Be my dad? Be my dad? You get canvassed you can just knock on your neighbor's door. Hey are you looking for a son? I don't know.

I commercially look after myself at this point. Yeah, it'd be like a dinner maybe once a fortnight. Yeah. You can call me, I won't really be paying attention. And I'll get your stuff when you die. Sounds like a good deal to me. I'll text you and let you know how I am once a week. If I'm traveling, I'll let you know that I landed safe.

Would that be good for you? Meet my partner you can like you have to approve. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's true You can pass judgment I'm coming around Be good could be good. What about having the monkey on the flight? You can handle it we talked previously about a chapan Z. This went full circle Yeah, I know, But do you think- Little Capuchin? Little Capuchin, would that stress you out as much?

Hmm. I think it would be okay. I mean, as long as the Capuchin wasn't taking business calls. But I think if a Chip Enzi takes a business call, it's like, existentially unsettling. Like, am I in the Twilight Zone? If a Capuchin does it, I'm like, that's cute. But I don't know if a Capuchin knows what's going on. He puts on a flight. I can imagine a Capuchin does it, I'm like, that's cute. Very, but I don't know if a capuchin knows what's going on. He was on a flight.

I can imagine a capuchin freaking them out. Yeah, that's true. They're stealing my peanuts and I might want them. Yeah, yeah, good point, good point. A capuchin will steal your food. Yeah. And get lost amongst the chairs and stuff. Yeah.

I feel like you're going to go to the bathroom and it's going to jump out of the toilet. You just hit the thing again. Oh my god. Oh my god. You know. I'm gonna tell Ross I killed his... No, I just sit back down and don't say anything. You see my capuchin? I'm like, no. Capuchin? What?

Did you have a monkey? Let me remember. I don't think you came in with one. I've seen that chimpanzee making zoom calls. Is that what you're thinking of, Ross? That chimpanzee making business calls? The chimpanzee just clams over the back of the seat like... This guy? I love this guy!

Have you met my friend Ross? He never had a capuchin. So one thing I don't know about Ross, that would be a crazy day for that capuchin monkey. In the toilet, getting ready to leap out you to tear your face off presumably and then suddenly 10 000 feet in the air plummeting toward the earth I don't think this is about toilets, I'm on planes. You mean Joe Dirt? Yeah yeah that's okay well if Joe Dirt's anything to go by no but I think you're right I think it's

actually a much sadder situation with a guy cleaning the toilet. It's like, what the fuck? There's a capuchin monkey in here. What happened? Someone took a really bad shit. Yeah. That guy from Bruce Almighty had a capuchin go up his ass, has taken a shit on a plane.

Yeah. You like that Bruce Almighty reference? I loved it. We could get more of those. That's all I got. Yeah, unfortunately. has taken a shit on a plane. You like that Bruce Almighty reference? I loved it! We could get more of those. That's all I got. Yeah, unfortunately. I lost, I lost, I lost.

Okay, thank you. Ross is a man who definitely sucks, and I would hate to be next to him. Yeah, absolutely. I think I just hate to meet him in real life. Oh, yeah. Well, the thing is, it's a very realistic bad person to have next to you on a flight.

Because, like, yes, obviously the Hulk would be bad because he could tear my head off but I you know the threat of death it's like unpleasant for a bit and then you're dead you know you're on the right track with like cuz like Marvel yes like in terms of like Hulk he's that he's not great to be around like it's just what maybe one you maybe a bit on edge yeah I're gonna anger him, and then he'll pop up and be like, oh shit. But that's like one time. And I'm like, if he were next to Deadpool. Oh God.

Right? Yeah, that would be so annoying. Shut up, that's what I would be saying. And he's the merc with a mouth, so he won't. You're like, shut up, I'll move seats, I'll kill you. I think that's kind of also his other thing. Yeah, that's luck. That's actually in Flan Entertainment, he's spent 18 hours tearing out this one guy's face?

Yeah, but then he just kills me once and I die. That's my weakness. Yeah. Same. Yeah, Plummy the Death Star's one weakness is that you kill them once and they die. Yeah, man. Only. Yeah, would. Yeah. Only.

Yeah. Would be nice. Well, like, yeah, Deadpool's bad, doesn't shut the fuck up, but I feel like that he might, like he is, I don't know, capable of sitting on a plane. Yeah. And if you put on Deadpool, I think he just sewed out and watched it. Yeah, that's true. You could distract Deadpool with Deadpool.

Deadpool would love Deadpool 2. And he'd love Deadpool 2 and Deadpool and Wolverine. Oh my gosh. Those movies were made for him. Yeah. You get through the rest, you can probably find more movies on there that Deadpool would love. What movies?

He seems like a big movie guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like not a good movie guy, just a big movie guy. Probably like the Transformers franchise I think. All the bad boys? Yes, yes, he'd like the bad boys. Entourage? He'd love the Entourage movie.

Big time. Big time. That actually- And the Little Mermaid. Yeah, yeah the entourage movie Big time that actually and the little mermaid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah big time big time Oh, yeah, and he's got that my little pony thing. Yeah entertainment keeps him muzzled. I reckon. Yeah It's like enough flashing stuff going on. Yeah Deadpools on planes all the time. Yeah, mostly loose in the back of them. Yeah Like the planes he No, no, no. Like the planes he goes on, there's no seats or whatever. Okay.

What about Lightning McQueen? Classic, a classic. Car in a plane. Car in a plane. Big fan. Ding, ding, a car in a plane. You trying to picture him on the plane? I'm trying to picture a car sitting down.

He'd be like curved I guess. I'd have to feed him. But would he be in the shape of a chair? Ash potato? No. What do you mean be in the shape of a chair? Well because he'd have to bend once. Like how we are in the shape of a chair.

What do you mean by that Joel Zavitt? What do you mean we're in the shape of a chair, currently. What do you mean by that, Joel Zavid? What do you mean we're in the shape of a chair? I'm the shape of a man! I don't think he... yeah. It's kind of like, because we... a chair is dull. Take your time, it's okay. Oh, well, no. Like, a chair is designed for us, no shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this, and so we kind of bend at the hip and then we bend it. Okay, yes, yeah, yeah. With Lightning McQueen also being a version of where his hip would be and where his knees would be. Isn't pain would be my first problem? Screaming. Yeah, yeah. That's mad. I can't... No, you're a little stupid and you can just hear it. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, in the mean you talked your way out of it. I think Yeah, yeah

But yeah, I mean I think they'd have to obviously remove chairs for him get him on the plane Yeah, he again he is a car but then what's bad about him being on the plane? Well, it would make it would so imagine I'm on the plane with Lanny McQueen And they've had to remove chairs. they've had to accommodate for him. So I'm on like, it's like no chairs. And then I have one chair loose. That's good! Yeah, cause you can walk around him!

I can stretch out, I can get in him maybe? Get in him? Climb inside to go to bed? I'll put out the door. You'll be like, Lightning McQueen, obviously this isn't ideal for either of us. And he's like, it McQueen, obviously this isn't ideal for either of us. And he's like, it's not bad for me. I need to lie down.

Climb inside. The idea of getting into Lightning McQueen really upset the crowd. They hated it. They had to imagine it. It's a car. I think he'd be warm. That's bad. It would be like a car with the moistness of a mouth.

Yeah. It'd be a little damp. A little damp inside. It'd be like, you know, if you've ever gone camping and you wake up in the morning and the camp's full of your breath from the night before, there's like condensation on the inside. That's what it would be like falling asleep in Lightning McQueen. But at least I'd get to lie down. Well, it's funny because now it sounds like that Lightning McQueen being on the plane with you

is worse for him than it is for me. Yeah. Lightning McQueen's like, ka-chow, Jackson's the worst, but he keeps getting in me. Yeah, yeah. But like, you could like see outside his eyes. Yeah, yeah.

Like wipe away the condensation. Look, can you look out Lightning McQueen's eyes? Or am I in like a nasty wet pit? Oh yeah, when you shut the door is it just pitch black and damp? Like I'm in a stomach. What's behind our eyes? More eye. The crowd also didn't like that.

We had, imagine we had a little guy behind our eye currently. Yeah. Would we, it would interrupt the way the light hit our eye and then into our brain and receptors and whatnot. What would happen if you did that to a car? If I look at the back of an eye, there's the optical cord that connects somebody's side. Someone was really off. People pissed off right now.

You're like how? Cause it'd just be all white, right? Right? Cause I'm not looking through... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Yeah, but then you look through the pupil. Yeah look through the sclera. Is that a bit? Refraction cones Yeah, well cuz the pupils just a hole right I wanted I thank you for saying The pupil are you but you said it I don't know know. I think it is. The pupils are whole. The light goes in.

Is there a thing? Are you an optometrist? Is this why you're upset? Is this why you're upset at us? Are you an eye doctor? They just know a single thing about us. You've done high school biology? Here's the thing I think is a thing.

Yeah? When you see something, no making fun. No making fun? No making fun! No making fun. All right. When you see something yeah, no making fun. No making fun. No making fun Oh making fun. All right, when you see something your brain sees it upside down I also have I've heard this and I believe it yes, but then from a death cab from a death cab a cutie song That is true though, okay, thank God my education can't came through So but it comes in upside down yeah, and how does he get right way up? Thank God, dude. I love that my education came through song. Yeah.

So, but it comes in upside down. Yeah. And how does it get right way up? Does your brain go... How does my brain know that's what's normal? That's not a stupid question. If my eye sees everything upside down, then my brain should be like,

everything's upside down. I know. Is this a thing I think is a thing or or just a thing? Because there was experiment where people wore glasses and that made it flipped everything so that's right down yeah they wore them for like let's say a week took them off but then everything was still upside down for about a week or whatever. Upside down weak would be wrong. You'd be used to it. After a week after a week you'd figure it out. They're a very adaptable species. Yeah. So yeah so what would happen to either of the little guy behind Lightning McQueen's eyes or Lightning McQueen? I well the problem is

Lightning McQueen doesn't have eyeballs he He's got like flat screen eyes, so it doesn't even matter. Not even- So how's he seein'? Figuring out human eyes and helps his fucking diddly squat, cause he's got car eyes. But he still sees? Lightning McQueen looks at stuff. That's for sure. Blink. He...

Do his... But does he sense things kind of like a bat? And he's just, eyes are there for show. You think Lightning McQueen's supersonic? Like he's suddenly got his horn going, but we can't hear it. Well, we can't hear supersonic things either so it does pay off. What do Lightning McQueen's eyes look like? I cannot bring them to my mind. Does he just... Imagine the car windscreen. Yes I know but does he just have dots for pupils? No there's whites. What do the whites do in a human eye?

I want to say blood supply, but I don't know why. Is there like, capillaries? Yeah there are capillaries in the eye. Cones. Cones? Rods and cones is a thing. Yeah, Rods and cones are a thing. And when you look at the sun, one of them gets damaged. I've often said that Plug with the Death Star is like sort of a freak show of human stupidity where people far cleverer than us can gather around and just point and laugh but I don't think we've ever been this stupid on stage before Okay, there's Lightning McQueen's eyes

Okay, go have a look He's got a black bit and a blue bit So he's got retinas and pupils And he's got eyebrows too, sort of. What is- What is- So what are the white- what? What do an eye do? I don't know.

It's just like extra eye meat, I think. Show us a photo of Lightning McQueen, but you don't pull up what an eye does? What the hell? No help whatsoever! I don't know at all, dude. Fuck this crowd. We just gotta keep being stupid on stage. Humiliating ourselves for your amusement. We don't help whatsoever! Fuck this crowd! We just keep being stupid on stage!

Humiliating ourselves for your amusement. This is more substance! What? I just abandoned talking about eyes because I was like, I'm in trouble here. I'm just having a little machine. You just keep powering through me like, what if it's... Substance? What do if it's substance? What do you mean more substance?

You think we didn't have enough substance in our eyes and we evolved more? The fit in the sockets! So you imagine we had the big socket and the eye was just loose in there. We all have the muscles that go around that can move. Our eye and socket evolved at the same time. Yeah. The eye evolved to fit. Why does anything have the white of an eye? Not everything does. Frog's eyes are red. Sometimes. Why they do that? I don't know. Goat's eyes are square. Goat's eyes are square, dude. I knew that one. Camel's got like five fucking islands, dude. I knew that one but fox eyes. Camel's got like five fucking eyelids dude.

I have to keep the sand out. They only... I was... What? No it is but now I'm like why are they just shot in their eyes? They don't need... We've got to keep sand out of our eyes too. We only got one lip.

Yeah but we're not... We're not in the desert dude. We can be though. Well, yeah you got one lip. Yeah, but we're not dealing with as much as you. I'm not in the desert, dude. Come on. You can be though. Well, yeah, you got me there. Oh, they've got big eyelashes? We really need to get out of this eye talk. We are in too deep.

We are in way too deep. I think, in fact, look, I'm just going to try and save this. Okay, thank you. I don't know, you can do it. People forget the last 10 minutes of eye talk. I can't wait to go to like an optometrist or a doctor and be like hey Just my quick question eyes

I've got mine checked like not that long ago I know yeah, you could have glasses baby, but you fight down and I'm like that seems a weird real weird They do a bunch of esoteric shit when you go, right? They blow air on them? Why are they doing that? What happened there? They're like, don't like... They're gonna feel a little bit of pressure. I'm like, oh yeah. Keep your eye open!

I'm like, you just blew air in! How?! What are they doing? What are they doing to you? They're like, in the dark room, and then like, what looks better, A or B? And I'm like, they both look the same. You gotta pick. A?

You sure? No! I hate that because I'm like you're the fucking optometrist. I don't know. I think sometimes the test is a trick too like they are the same. Yeah. Don't tell me that dude. I was like oh yeah read the bottom line or whatever and I went blah blah blah blah and

they're like are you sure about that one? I was like it could be a C like good enough and I'm like it seems like I failed. What is happening? Good enough? I feel that I maybe thought that the C was a G and maybe my eyes aren't good but they were like ah yeah that's fine. Good enough is not what you want to hear. No! Also that kind of adds up with the you might need glasses I don't know because this motherfucker didn't even do the test he was just like whatever whatever Cheating on a test or an exam when you're in like high school or like further education is fine, but for an eye exam You want to do it properly? Yeah

Absolutely. Well look we've all picked people. That's true. We've got a live audience So Jackson Juneau explains over everyone how we're gonna do this? How we're gonna figure out who the worst person to be on a flight with is? And I think we should add a sixth person into the mix, which is man who tries to talk to you about eyes. We're just adding us to the mix. Yeah, yeah.

Tommy the Dancer. Tommy the Dancer. Yeah, Tommy the Dancer who have booked one seat and are each sitting on each other's laps. Man, I'm so high up. I'm like, yeah, their headphones don't reach me, but I can watch everyone scream. Why did you get the top position? Just lucky, I guess.

So here's what we're gonna do. Okay, and maybe you've done this in a Plummie the Death Star before. So we're gonna go through each of our answers, and if you like the answer, we want you to do one clap, okay? You're not cheering, none of that, you're not, no appla- applauding, you should do one clap. Let's try that now, let's give it a crack. So I'm gonna count down from three,

and you can clap once. Three, two, one. Oh, beautiful, doesn't it sound good? Ah, you did it, bro. You did it, bro. I was surprised at how many people can fuck that. Oh, people mess it up all the time. Sir, rather than doing all six, should't it sound good? Oh, you'd be surprised at how many people can fuck that up. People mess it up all the time. So rather than doing all six, should we pick one each?

Yes. OK. I'll pick, well, who am I? Lightning McQueen or? I'll pick Lightning McQueen. I'll pick Lightning McQueen. Yep. Three, two, one.

Oh, jeez. People fucking hated that or no, I Guess I'll go with late in the day edition plumbing the death star or sharing one seat Speaking about their eyes three two one Okay, okay, I got a little Ross Galla. Okay, fair enough. Three, two, one. Oh, that was actually pretty close. People hate Ross. People hate Ross, dude. But Plumbing the Death Star, clear winner. And that's what I'm saying after tonight's live show.

Well, on that note, the show has come to an end. That's true. I have been Joe. I have been Jax and I have also been Joe. And this has been Plumbing the Death Star Live at the Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival. How good was that? Yeah. Thank you very much everybody. Thank you Stupid Old Studios. If you want to drink, keep drinking.

Yeah, go outside, get a drink. We make money from your ticket sales, But they make money from your drink sales, which is far more important than any money. You could give us. Please go drink Thank you so much I'm coming to your side. The illusion that we're going somewhere. The illusion that we're going somewhere. The illusion that we're going somewhere. We're waiting for like... We're waiting for like... We're waiting for like... We're waiting for like...

We're waiting for like... We're waiting for like... We're waiting for like... We're waiting for like... We're waiting for like... We're waiting for like... Oh my god. So do you guys want to know what I saw? No, I just like to live in ignorance. As a Fizz member, you can look forward to free data,

big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over to the following month, every month. At Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply, details at fizz.ca. ACAS powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

I'm Jessie Kirkshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture, but when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy. You will not die hosting the Hills After Show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know what thirsty meant until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no.

That's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone A Friend With Jesse Kruikshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Hello, Zamet here. One of the Jolls from middling to OK podcast, Plumbing the Death Star, not a Star Wars podcast. While my two ever-vessing co-hosts, Galavant around the UK, I'm back here in Melbourne, preparing for the arrival of our firstborn. But I'm not here to

tell you about that. I'm here to tell you about a wonderful podcast festival that is happening in October. The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival. That's right, we're a part of it. On the 4th of October at 8.30 p.m. at Stupid Old Studios, I'll be joined by my very jet lag co-host for our last live Plumbing the Death Star show for a bit. Maybe, it's hard to say.

What with the upcoming birth of our... Anyway, you can grab tickets at cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com and there you can check out all the assortment of delectable comedy podcasts on offer. That's cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com, a festival of funny podcasts going for 12 days across two continents here in Australia. That's October the 4th to the 6th and across that big pond over in the UK. That's the 12th to the 20th. It's all your favourite funny podcasts all in one place. Plus, we'll also be there.

Crazy. So once again, that's cheerfuleatiful.podlifeevents.com. I love you.