Plumbing the Death Star - Who Gave Baloo a Pilot's License? (Ft. Andrew Levins)

Episode Date: November 25, 2018

Where we are joined by our good friend Andrew Levins to ask the hard hitting question like Who Gave Baloo a Pilots License?Sign up to our newsletter here; http://eepurl.com/cM3in9Join our facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Watch us stream here; https://www.twitch.tv/sanspantsradioYou can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073Theme music by the wonderfully talented Benny Davis! You can find all his stuff at his website https://bennydavismusic.com or check out his YouTube https://youtube.com/bennythejukeboxWant to help support the show?Sanspants+: https://sanspantsplus.comPodkeep: https://sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: https://audiobooksontape.comMerch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail]: https://twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: http://www.sanspantsradio.comFacebook: https://facebook.com/SanspantsRadioReddit: https://reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: https://twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: https://twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: https://twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio. I never want to ride my bicycle. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, Who gave Baloo a pilot's license? So we're talking about Baloo in Tailspin. Yes. Well, Baloo from the Jungle Book and then in Tailspin. Because he is the same bit. Yes.

Yeah. And so Jungle Book is like this classic Disney movie with songs and dance and talking and singing animals. Yeah. And at no point does like a Nick Fury-esque figure show up in the post-credits scene and is like, hey, Baloo, you know how you stopped this kid from being eaten by a wolf? Well, let me introduce you to the concept of flying and you're now going to be... I don't know, what actually is his job in Tailspin? He's like the head pilot, I'm pretty sure. I think he takes them on their Tailspin adventures.

That cargo delivery service. Yeah, yeah. So he's the one who pilots them around. It's great to imagine the Bear Necessities song being like, it's just the Bear Necessities, kid, unless you get your pilot's license. Yeah, that's also pretty hypocritical of him, because he's like, Bear Necessities, fuck all you need is just chill times, have a good time, also a pilot's license, fucking sellout.

I'll call him onto his face but maybe it's like baloo didn't know that that was an option yeah if you're just a bear living in the jungle you're like fucking this is life what else do i need and then he sees a plane go overhead and he's like i gotta be up yeah also i mean it's like he's got a job so look i because when we meet him in the jungle book he's a lazy piece of shit yeah that's true he's manipulative as hell he's like hey human boy that can climb i mean i can climb i am a good sloth bear but you get it for me he knew how to open a prickly pear without stinging his hands and that is an important skill to know in the jungle

absolutely that's what he was applying for his like job with palesman he's like yeah watch me open this prickly pear from what i know about baloo, I don't know if he himself actually has his pilot license. Surely it's more in Baloo's sort of like MO to get someone to take the test for him. Yeah, that's true. What does he call Mowgli? Manchild?

Manchild. Hey, not bear. Take this test for me. That's great because that means Mowgli. Doesn't he call him Little One or something like that? I feel like it's Man Child. I can't be right. Should we just say 45 minutes of speculating of what he might call Mowgli?

What would you call Mowgli? Mowgli. You'd call him Mowgli. Mowgli. Don't eat a frilly bear after midnight, Mowgli. Yeah, no please please sorry he's like very much a lazy boy yes or lazy bear and so he's probably not gonna have that's what he calls Mowgli lazy boy

I don't have the kind of like care like he's a to me he reminds me a little bit of myself in that if I can delegate someone I would and I feel Baloo would delegate someone to just do everything for him But then surely The tailspin

Would be like The adventures of The tailspin They're mice in tailspin Yeah Most of them are bears aren't they It's all just Jungle animals

Okay So Mowgli is now Just like another bear Called Kit Oh And then he works for Another like a Hot sexy bear

Rebecca Rebecca yeah She was the only one I remember, so I'm glad this came up. And then Shere Khan is his rival. Yeah. And Louis runs the bar. So it actually took a lot of cues from Casablanca. That's great, but that also means that there must have been a point

where maybe the jungle got destroyed and they had to get jobs. So what happened in the situation where it's just kind of like, yeah, you've gone from like, I'm just going to kick back and be lazy. You do sure. Khan's going to like try and eat like a small boy. Yeah. To be like, no, no, no. Let's make this rival plane company.

Yeah. It's great that- Louis just wants to be like, I want to learn how to use fire or make cocktails. Don't I yet? Is his specialty flaming cocktails? I hope so. Or is that what he's building up to? Maybe he was like, I can trick people into teaching me how to use fire if I become a bartender.

Eventually someone's going to order a flaming cocktail. Then I'll know their fucking secrets and I'll rule the kingdom. I feel like every episode they go to Louis' bar because Louis has great advice. But also that maybe means that Baloo has a drinking problem. Why is he getting drunk? Also, how old's Kit? Yeah, what the hell? That's not okay.

That's so sad, because Louie used to be the king of the apes, and now he's a bar- imagine if you found out the king of a country- Queen Elizabeth II. Queen Elizabeth II is like, well, my country's under shit, I'm gonna attend a bar. Post-Brexit, she's like, time to open a bar i would go to

that bar me too who wouldn't so i would leave that bar so it is to assume here that some something's happened to the jungle where like what what's happened is it industrialized I guess sir but like insanely rapid industrialization have you seen the live action jungle book yeah yeah yeah

it's like literally the only one I've seen and they're making they're doing a sequel to that like jungle book 2 I'm hoping that that's just tailspin

like a live action tailspin Christopher Walken played Baloo in that didn't he he did yeah Bill Murray was Baloo in that Didn't he He did Yeah Bill Murray was Baloo

Oh Yeah Walken was Louie Yeah I would absolutely Watch that film This giant Bill Murray flying a plane

And this giant Fucking ape Who's voiced by Walken Servin Barr Yes please That'd be so big Because he's huge

He's a giant He's a giant epithet. He's a giant epithet. He's like a- So is it kind of like structured? So the bar- Yes. Bit is this kind of like this huge dome, I guess.

And then it kind of has to like lean in and kind of serve tiny drinks. No, no, no. I feel like it's still like in a treetop, right? Yeah, yeah. So they have planes, but they also still live in trees. Okay. What happened? Did all the people die?

Maybe just a bunch of planes showed up and they were like, may as well do something with them. How'd they get the planes? We can't eat them. How'd they? Did they build the planes? Certainly. Did they steal the planes?

Did they like, oh, we've got to steal man's fire. Or this mechanical bird. I'm just double checking just to make sure that my memory's right. Why would you do that? I'm pretty sure the planes look like they're made out of wood. So they could have made the planes, or is it kind of like they have screws in them you can't make wooden screws i refuse to believe they exist talking bears yes wooden screws nothing you know it's like like it's like sort of like uh one of those weird

coincidences where it's like in in through pure coincidence they just happened to like make a plane. They were just like banging some wood together like, huh, looks like we've made a plane. Is there some kind of like Jungle Book Wright Brothers somewhere around? Just like running down a fucking hill trying to like clamber aboard

something? Is this what we're meant to believe? Because I'm so big fan. It could just be that like, because we've seen evidence that like apes learn the same behaviors as humans, but just like way slower and longer. Maybe this one, they just nailed it straight away. They saw a plane and they were like, But bears this time.

They saw a plane and were like, bro. There's King Louie looking at fire being like, fucking getting two rocks, smack them, get some sparks. What the fuck? at fire being like, getting two rocks, smack them. There's some sparks. What the fuck? He's just like. Oh. That seems easier.

I reckon I got this. Three rocks together. Suddenly a plane. Then the fucking bear's like, I can ride a deer. Give me my license. So there's a lot of just, This is just unearthed a lot. Yeah. So, I'm trying to figure out, like...

Also, hang on. How old do sloth bears live for? Yeah, not long. Maybe like 40 years. Is that what Baloo is, a sloth bear? Yeah. Right. Because, like, there's a point, clearly, like...

He's not like a young sloth bear in the Jungle Book. He's old. He's quite old. Baloo will die in our lifetime. But he's gone from that to then also being a pilot, and he's still roughly the same age. Not much time has passed. Basically the next year.

So the Jungle Book ends, Baloo's just like, ah, adventure's done, looks up, sees a plane, he's like, that's next. That's next for old Baloo. All right, so let's see. Is he wearing clothes as well? Yeah, he's a big jacket. He's next for old Baloo. All right, so let's say... Is he wearing clothes as well? Yeah, he's a big jacket. He's still butt-ass naked.

So he's learnt semi-shame. Yeah. Yeah, semi-shame. But only for his top, not for where his cock is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the women wear full clothes. Okay, yeah.

So it's like, my butthole and cock are fine. Ladies, though, no. Yeah. But my titties, I'm sensitive. Somebody came down, crashed a plane got out we're like our clothes for you bear this plane's yours that's okay that's not put this on your top mogul you're a bear now was it a wizard did a wizard riding a plane crash and what's this oh man

no bear so you can look at, like, how that world exists, how you go from Jungle Book to Tailspin, but also you can look at, like, what was the decision to make the Tailspin world exist from, like, a writing point of view. Yeah. Like, because they just re-released Jungle Book in, like, the late 80s, early 90s, and, like, there was all, like, the Disney afternoon cartoons.

Yeah. You had your Duck Tales, which is kind of like a spin-off of Donald Duck and Scrooge McDuck and that kind of stuff. I guess we get Rescuers. Oh, yeah, classic. Which the Rescuers were like two classic Disney movies. One of them, we come to Australia.

All I know about the Rescuers is that one of them, they go to Australia. The other one has a hidden... Hidden titties. Hidden titties. Yeah, it does... Hidden titties. Hidden titties. Yeah, it does have hidden titties. That's right. It's the best Disney movie ever made.

Is that Rescue Rangers? No, they turn that into Rescue Rangers. Yeah. But I think they're entirely different animals. They're Chippin? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Chippendale Rescue Rangers. That's good.

So at some point at a boardroom, the Disney execs are like, the kids, they love Casablanca. We need to make an aviation show. Who can we put in it? So I want to know, if Baloo gets a pilot's license, what does Bambi get? What are the other animals?

If industrialization happens to the Jungle Book universe, then what are all the other animals if if all if if industrialization happens to the jungle book universe then what are all the other anthropomorphic animals good fucking question what licenses does everyone else yeah well it's funny because also that means that the unit the disney universe in itself loves some animals but fucking hates others baby gets a dead mother balloon gets a fucking pilot's license so because okay there's rescue rangers there's tailspin how many others basically followed this gummy bears darkwing duck duck tails my super lami yeah um gummy bears wasn't oh no it kind of was wasn't it was kind of the same because i was like they weren't really like having kind of weird pulpy adventures like how many kind of followed this of like making aviation a thing no no this is like this is like yeah i mean i guess duck tails and tailspin are the only ones and darkwing duck i guess are the only ones that kind of followed this of like making aviation a thing. No, no, this is like, yeah. I mean, I guess DuckTales and Tailspin are the only ones,

and Darkwing Duck, I guess, are the only ones that kind of fit that mould of taking something in. So just in that universe, everyone or a couple of people just watched Casablanca and was like, yes, we need to make a business model out of this. Well, it's like they found like they've remembered the 1940s exist. And they're like, oh, maybe the kids don't know about this stuff. We'll just steal stuff. It's weird that Chip and Dale are called Chip and Dale, like Chip and Dale, because it's surely like Chip and Dale,

like a male stripper, right? Yeah, but Chip has a chip for, no, a chip somewhere. No, Dale has a dale between his teeth. Oh, okay. And Chip, I guess, has a chip nose. Okay. That's why they're called Chip and Dale. What's a dale between a teeth? It's like a dale. It's has a chip nose. Okay. That's why they're called Chip and Dale. What's a Dale between a two?

It's like a Dale. It's like a gap between two things. That's called a Dale? Yeah, yeah. Huh. That's something you ever hear. Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Bad Dale. Okay, so, okay, Bambi.

What do we give him Bambi? I reckon a hunter's license. No, no, see, I was thinking the same thing, and I reckon the reason we never gave Bambi any kind of license is that Bambi is a loose unit. We don't know what Bambi is capable of. If we're stealing from genres of the past, we could go through, it can be kind of like an 80s, late 80s revenge horror film. Or Deer Hunter.

We just use the plot of Deer Hunter. Thumper blows his brains out. Playing roulette Yeah okay that's better Because I was going down like Yeah the worst path I guess So let's go through that So I guess Deer Hunter I don't know much about that film Apart from the title

I saw that happening I was like damn it's just he's got the word deer In the title of the movie and he's going for it. Is it Vietnam? Is it about Vietnam? Isn't that movie about a man gets lost in the woods, hunts someone with a shotgun? None of us have seen Deer, have we? So let's go back to that.

J.D., you had a brilliant idea with Bambi. So a revenge film because like when horror movies went through slashes and then after like 10 years it goes rolling. I think that makes too much sense. Because at no point are you like, fuck yeah, Jungle Book, give these cunts a plane license. Good point, good point. I want to go to a screening where someone stands up like, oh, that's there, give the cunt a plane.

Fuck it, bro. Give a Bambi a snowmobile license. Fuck, I want to have a ski resort. Or like a bowling alley. Bambi's bowling alley. Bambi's like a snowmobile license Or like a bowling alley Bambi's bowling alley Bambi's bowlerama And it's like a Quaint adventure he lives in like middle America

Running a bowling alley All of the other Bambi characters Are now like regulars at the alley They have teams, rival teams Always fighting Does that mean that the villain Of Bambi who is a man with a are now like regulars at the alley. They have teams, rival teams. Yeah, always fighting. The skunk. Does that mean that the villain of Bambi,

who is a man with a gun, is for fire? A man with a gun and fire have a rival bowling team. No, no, no. The man with the gun owns a bar now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's the thing. All these cartoons,

the main character has a drinking problem. That's the thing All these cartoons The main character has a drinking problem That's the constant Poor Bambi just like Clopping up to a bar Sitting on a stool Ordering a whiskey salad It's very easy to imagine a deer Drinking a whiskey

With its little Putting its nose in the cup And its tongue all Getting up in there That's very easy to picture I feel like I've seen that To be honest My mistake I guess Bambi easy getting up in there. That's very easy to picture. I feel like I've seen that, to be honest.

My mistake, I guess. So, yeah, Bambi, easy. Done. What about Fox and Hound? Fox and Hound... Does Fox and Hound have a villain other than differences? That's insurance agency information. Insurance company.

Oh, definitely. That sounds trustworthy. Fox and Hound. It does, doesn't it? Or, like, maybe, maybe like a law firm? Yeah, sure. But I feel like actually they're a bit too, they've kind of got too much of an honest kind of,

you know, to be like lawyers, I feel like maybe they'll have moral quandaries. But they might be a good sort of Murdoch and Nelson. Because you see, they're trying to do good. You know what I mean? Okay, so they're also one of them as a vigilante. Yeah. Oh, boy.

Fox or Hound? Hound. Hound was basically, he was, you know, he had a darkness to him. Hound sounds like a vigilante name. Like the Hound. Hound. But is it still, oh no, they've moved to like. They've moved to some kind of like Hell's Kitchen.

That's so sad. They've, yeah, like they've gone from pleasant country woodland To gritty Noir Or can we kind of Get that noir setting but put it into A country town I mean we can There's no rules here we can do whatever we want

The cast of characters is going to be quite small All you need to know is the kids love Casablanca So keep that in mind Wait till they see Gone With The Wind Oh my god As long as we can agree that Lady and the Tramp Definitely own a car dealership Oh yeah absolutely

I was going to say a car wash I like that better Lady and the Tramp's car wash That sounds like they've fallen on hard times Obvious would be that they own an Italian restaurant No None of that Because Lady and the Tramp

And car wash combined You open the first episode of the Lady and the Tramp car wash With like Lady or Tramp eating sad cold spaghetti from somewhere by themselves Like things have gone bad for Lady and the Tramp Basically like a servo spaghetti Yeah Ah, depressing This is depressing

The hell spin wasn't sad I can imagine him in sort of, yeah, overalls, just kind of like nudging like a meatball that's still kind of half frozen. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Delicious. That's a sad. Well, I've got a question for you guys. You're running a party.

It's a lot of guests. Sure. And, you know, last minute, oh, my God, the RSVPs are just out the wazoo. Yeah. So many guests coming up. You need good quality food cooked by a big team. Yeah. Who else do you call but exactly 101 Dalmatians catering?

Hell yes. Actually, that one I think is my favorite. Thinking about, like, if 101 Dalmatians had a spinoff where it was, like like 101 chefs or something. And they get voted off at the end of every episode. There can be only one. That's so sad. Little tiny chef hats and aprons.

Are they puppies still? Yeah. They'll be so floppy trying to cook the food. They should hold them like a knife. If Baloo can fly a plane, dogs can cook spaghetti. Yeah, that's true. And at the end of the day when they've just had a hard day working, slaving off hard in the kitchen, who else can they turn to

but Cruella de Vil in the bar for a stiff one at the end of a working day. Oh, it's so sad seeing this woman in this like old kind of cronyist woman in immaculate fashion serving drinks. Struggling to remember the names of 101 identical looking dogs. Every villain that gets reduced,

it's like it's so undignified when they're reduced to working in a bar. It's so rough. Not for everyone. Beauty and the Beast, Gaston is perfectly

suited to running a bar. That's true. The fact he doesn't already run a bar is baffling in itself. Not an animal, though. No, not an animal. Scar? Gaston's bar, what would it be called? Five dozen eggs.

Five dozen eggs and then a secret. Yeah, 12 dozen eggs is like the secret bar at the back. A bar I don't know if I'd want to go to. Anyway, here's a quick word from our sponsors. Maybe. Also, if you want to keep up to date with everything we do outside the podcast, you can sign up to our monthly newsletter. Just head to our website, sanspansradio.com,

or check the show notes of this very episode. Now, Gaston. He eats so many goddamn eggs. That's too many eggs. He's roughly the size of a barge. That's how you get that big. How else are you going to get that big without eating copious amounts of eggs? I'm understanding in, like, the Disney universe,

how can you get someone that looks like Gaston, but then someone that looks like Belle's father? Yeah. It just feels like these are two separate races. Or like LeFou. LeFou looks like a little gnome man but clearly they're both humans.

Yeah, they're both humans. You guys going to Paris? That's the disparity. It's like we have an orc and a gnome here. You would be so sad if you were born. Were Gaston's parents beautiful or is it a crapshoot Because Belle is quite normal looking

But her dad just isn't So that means that you kind of It's a gamble with your kid You're like I hope I get a normal looking one So if Belle ended up hooking up with Gaston Would they have had like a gross gnome baby There's no guarantee Or a candlestick

Or a lion Youick. Or a candlestick. Or a lion. You just have to know. Disney's scary. Who knows what you're going to pop out. Terrifying. Just terrifying. So wildly unpleasant.

You know who I think should get a job? Who? It's not Disney. But you just made me think of Looney Tunes, right? Half the Looney Tunes characters are employed. Yep. And half of them aren't. Bugs Bunny has no job. Porky Pig does. just made me think of looney tunes right half the looney tunes characters are employed yep and half of them aren't bugs bunny has no job porky pig does what's porky pig's job doesn't he work at

like a theater i just he's got a pork pie hat i just assumed the theater is the looney tunes i thought it was a muppet situation where the looney tunes work for warner brothers thus that that's all folks at the he also worked in insurance or as a car salesman. I thought he ran a bar. Well, like, okay, maybe not Porky Pig, but Yosemite Sam. Oh no, he's a cowboy. That's a job.

I mean, he's more of a freelancer for himself. Alma Fudd's a hunter? Is that a hobby or a job? And Alma Fudd owns property because he has a house. Bugs Bunny has a hole, though, but he probably didn't buy it. Who runs the business that sells... Acme?

No, but that sells, like, female clothes. Oh, that's true. Women's clothes. That's a big enterprise in the Looney Tunes universe. You're right. There's a massive market in both Disney and Looney Tunes for pants for men. That's, like, a new idea. Like, if you came out and you were like, pants for men that's like a new idea like if you came out and you're like pants i know we think of them as typically feminine but imagine

pants for men uh excuse me uh i am not ashamed of my butthole or cock why do i need these pants uh it's a fashion statement uh are you sick of only having a jacket and revealing your nipples we also do shirts for men. I am revolutionizing fashion. Are you freezing all the time? Just my shoulders. Pants and shirts and shoes for everyone and pants for men. Come on down to Jackson's Pants and Shoes

and Shirts for Everyone and Pants for Men. Emporium. I guess actually maybe, no, no, because it's difficult. It must be difficult to and pants for men. Emporium. I guess actually maybe... No, no. Because it's difficult. It must be difficult to make pants for like... You've got to make pants that'll fit Donald Duck, but also pants that'll fit Mickey... Oh, Mickey Mouse is wearing pants.

He's a trendsetter. Oh, yeah, but he just wears... He doesn't wear a shirt, though. He wears gloves. Gloves and pants. Gloves and pants. It's weird that in that universe... Like overalls.

Yeah, overalls. Covering his nipples, I guess. At least Mickey Mouse hides his shits hey you know who has jobs yeah like Mickey, Donald yeah all those guys

they're all employed yeah Mickey Mouse runs the House of Mouse what is the House of Mouse it's like a big club that all of the Disney characters come to

you mean the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Mickey Mouse Clubhouse House of Mouse is something else House of Mouse is what we call Disney oh right

in the industry is it kind of like a Playboy Mansion type clubhouse? No, no, no. Let me tell you. It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Come inside. It's fun inside. Am I sexy?

No, I can't spell it. Am I sexy? Am I sexy? Am I sexy? Yeah. So, yes. But Mickey Mouse, yeah, he runs the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. And they do showings of, like, old Mickey Mouse cartoons.

Everyone comes, including, like, Hades from Greek mythology. Okay, we're confusing Mickey Mouse cartoons now. Are we? This one sounds great. I mean, it was, like, I think around 2000, Mickey Mouse ran, like, a big bar, basically. Hey. Mickey Mouse the villain.

He ran, like, a massive bar and he would it was like every episode was about the bar and something would go wrong and they had like a screening or a song at the end that they had to get right and mickey mouse worked there and so did donald duck and daisy duck and mini mouse and the whole goofy as well goofy the most by the way the most employed of all of them and full set of clothes just saying um that's how that's why he works because he's approachable he's not new he's not flopping out everywhere just a quick side note from disney that we've just mentioned this heaps but because i with the early disney animations i didn't really care that much about clothes or whatever because they're like animals

who cares i wish video games to the same trajectory imagine if mario had just been a little nude man because i'm gonna leap to 3d that be like this is going to be a problem Right now you can't tell But when he becomes Or like they started off and he was just nude But like no genitals Because we don't want to waste pixels But the graphics get better

And they just don't change Canonically like yeah he has a micropenis Mario is just smooth He has an innie But man has he got a sick vest the micropenis. Mario is just smooth. Mario has an innie. But man, has he got a sick vest. Yeah, but everyone works there. And then occasionally they'd show cartoons and like all the Disney characters,

like all the Disney characters would attend the bar. How's he making money? Is it subscriptions? Like, is he being like, yeah. It's a streaming subscription. It's $14.99 a month. It's like, yeah, you pay to be part of this. You can come in whenever you want. Where's he making money off these? Imagine you're Mickey Mouse and one of the people that comes in is Hercules.

That'd be a doorway. That'd be a doorway. It's a club. No, but actually sometimes like the 101 Dalmatians came in and they don't have money. They are dogs. So like- The 101 Dalmatians are famously dogs. I don't know how Mickey Mouse kept himself afloat.

Although Mickey is a mouse, the 101 Dalmatians are a dog. I don't know how Mickey Mouse kept himself afloat. Although Mickey is a mouse, 101 Dalmatians are a dog. All 101 Dalmatians form one dog. So do dogs get free pass on money but mice still have to pay? It depends on how much clothes you wear. That's what it comes down to. 101 Dalmatians wear no clothes.

They are clothes if you ask Willa DeVille. Who makes a jacket out of dog? Oh, I don't know. Who's that for? It's disgusting. Imagine you're like the latest fashionista. Yeah, if you want your bar to stand out. Yeah.

What if it's good, though? What if it's real soft? Decorate with dog. I feel like it would be greasy. Do you want a greasy jacket? Nah. Puppies are soft, though. They are.

Yeah, but they also don't have that much fur. Yeah, that's why she wanted 101 of them. One jacket. Hey, pup. Come on, man. Yeah, but they also don't have that much fur. Yeah, that's why she wanted 101 of them. One jacket. Come on, then. Fuck, my mistake. Yeah, but that's... Is it to do with the clothes? Because it's like, yeah, Goofy earns a living

and he's a dog boy. Goofy has layers as well, because he wears a vest over a long-sleeved shirt. Whereas someone like, say, Pluto... No clothes. A collar, a bit of life. Yeah. Doesn't earn money. That's scary.

That's really scary. Does that mean that what happened in the Jungle Book is somebody just came and put a vest on below? And he was like, oh my God, I got to walk up right now. What have you done to me? Walk up right and have- He gets his plane driving powers. Because you know how we drive planes. He gets plane driving powers from the vest.

I think- We've cracked it from the vest we've cracked it is it all just to do with clothes is it just some sort of some witch has imbued clothes with the power of responsibility and employment do you think that means that Mickey Mouse sleeps in his clothes for fear of losing his humanity

like if someone ducked Mickey Mouse's pants he'd be like just run away as a scared mouse. I fear yes. That's so sad. Because surely there's been a situation where you have this, like, you know, dog-like person in a full suit. Yeah.

And then slowly someone just undresses them or just rapidly undresses them, chucks a collar, and now we've got Pluto. That's so sad. Or the 101 Dalmatians. Yeah. 101 Dalmatians. Or it's both very human, fully clothed. That's true. Or Or the 101 Dalmatians. Yeah. 101 Dalmatians both very human, fully clothed.

That's true. It's the other way around whereas it's like you get a dog and dress it up and then suddenly it has a job. What if you take

the clothes off a human in the Disney universe? What do they become? Dogs. Next question. Bathing has proven difficult now. That's a lot of stinky mice and stinky dogs. Famously, two animals that don't smell great anyway, so who cares?

But if I was like, hey guys, this is a cool thing about me. Not cool, a curse more. If I get nude, I will revert to like an animalistic caveman. So I am going to smell, but you got to understand this is better than the alternative. If I get nude, I suddenly know how to drive a plane. What's the variation here? Because if you look at, say, Goofy,

who is the most dressed and arguably the most successful in terms of jobs. And also the least like, like recognizable as an animal. Yeah. What is Goofy? I'm pretty sure he's a dog, but they kind of shot themselves in the foot there because Pluto is also a dog. But he's undressed. He's just wearing a collar. Keep up!

I'm keeping up. He was dog, now he's dog man. I'd like to put a request out to anyone listening right now. This is a fan art request. I would like to see what Goofy looks like in only a collar walking request. I would like to see what Goofy looks like in only a collar, walking on all fours like Pluto. So someone could

draw me that, because that's hard to picture. And then the reverse, I want what happens when you put Goofy's clothes on Pluto. Yeah, what is Pluto the man, and what is Goofy the dog? If I was a fan, I would literally just take a photo of each of them, and then just change their colours and be like done. Change their heads.

That's fine. And bonus points if it's the creation of Adam by God. But one is a nude, goofy, and the other is Pluto. What do you call that? Repost? Reclined? Reclined. No, there's another word I was looking for, but that's fine.

Reclined and fully clothed. Anyway, yeah. Relaxed? No. Respote? No. Move on. Please.

I'm not going to get it. And then we have someone like, say, Baloo, who is now wearing a jacket, and that suddenly comes with the power of knowledge of flight. Yeah. So what happens if we, like, you know, and then we have, like, have a collar which is then just a little bit alive and no responsibility. If you put a Hawaiian shirt on an orangutan they get the ability to own a bar.

So if we put a Hawaiian jacket on creatures they can 10 bar? Is this the result? It's the equivalent of getting your RSA. So is the power in the jacket or is some witch or wizard cursing items and then it's just a crap shit of what you wear. It just so happens that it kind of bounces out.

Does that mean that if we wanted Bambi's bowlerama, we need to get Bambi in a bowling shirt? Absolutely. Imagine trying to get a deer in a shirt. How does the anthropomorphized version of Bambi act? I don't know. There are certain animals that don't make sense when you put them on two legs.

So please draw that. So uneven. I still imagine the Bambi still on all fours with the shirt kicking wildly. Absolutely. As I try to put on that shirt. Bambi just is the one that didn't work. This one's not working.

We just got an angry deer. Get in the bowling alley. This is your new career now. Spray shoes. Make them clean. We've already changed the sign. And also all the animals in the Bambi universe are like wildly differing sizes. Yeah.

Like all the Jungle Book animals are roughly the same. Thumper is not going to be able to get up on a stool or is not going to be able to. Thumper is the size of a bowling ball. Thumper, big feet, bowling shoes. Ah, that's true. But then he's just wearing bowling shoes. Rabbit and just bowling shoes. That's a really good image for some reason.

That's very satisfying. But is that the equivalent of a dog wearing a collar? No. No. Rabbit in shoes is totally different to a dog wearing a collar. So if we put Thumper in a collar, does Thumper think Thumper's a dog? What are the rules here? What if we put Mickey Mouse in his pants and a collar?

What happens to his pride? What if we put Thumper in a Hawaiian shirt? Yeah. That's great because he's so little. What if we drape a Hawaiian shirt over a rabbit? Will it tend to bar for us? You know who I think thought about this topic for way too long? Yeah. The guys who made

Zootopia. Yes, this is how Zootopia came about. Because in Zootopia, it's the same thing. Nick only wears a Hawaiian jacket open. Is it because I know the question wasn't why do animals only wear one piece of clothing, but here we are. Is it because most animals'

dicks are inside them? Like, if my dick was inside me, I would just wear a shirt. You can't see it. Yeah, to be honest. Fair. No, actually, because most animals' sheaths are visible. Sheaths are visible, but they also have a lot of belly hair and all that kind of hair. Whereas, say, like, if humans, if our cocks were sheathed,

we'd still have quite visible pubic hair. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. Well, yeah, I guess that's why no nude animal does it. Disney stands for dicks inside. Nobody ever. Quick. Why is it why?

Nobody ever. Yes. I'm just going to have a look at Zootopia. Nick's wearing pants. Oh, is he? I didn't think Nick wore pants. They all wear pants. Everyone wears pants in that movie.

I was too busy trying to think of the acronym. Well, never mind then. Well, that's good they've learned Shade. They do have a nudist colony in Zootopia. They do, and nobody's genitals are visible. So I'm just saying. Sheaths. Buttholes are still

pretty visible on most animals. Imagine if... That's where you gotta sniff and see what's good and how you greet each other. Man, I wish they kept that in Tailspin. Just blow it up

and shake it. Yeah, you're well. Spin it! How do you go from the bluesy jazz of the bare necessities to the full-on Caribbean 80s nightmare that is the tailspin thing? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Spin it! Oh, yeah. Fuck. Usually these episodes end with us coming to some kind of conclusion, but I think I've just hurt my brain thinking about... Oh, it's very simple. So how did Baloo get... Who gave Baloo a pilot license?

No one. It's just the jacket. It's the jacket, sure. But who is the Nick Fury character that goes between all these Disney worlds, that shows up in the post-credits of all of these movies, and then gives them their new jobs for the Disney afternoon cartoon? It would have to be Mickey Mouse smoking a cigar. Maybe, but why?

Why does he want these bears flying planes? Well, Mickey Mouse seems to exist in that liminal state between being a character with his own life and being like a mouse actor. So maybe Mickey Mouse has a direct line to God, i.e. Walt, and Walt Disney gives Mickey a vision. Or what if it is someone who exists in a world where every animal has a job, wears clothes except him, and he dreams of a world

where these animals can be treated like humans. The thing he's never been awarded, and it's Pluto. The end of every Disney movie, Pluto in an eyepatch. Pluto steals a jacket from Mickey Mouse so that he can talk to the animals, but then he takes it off to keep his cover. At the end of a conversation, he's like, I got one last request for you. And they're like, what? You got to take my jacket off.

No, it has to be done. That's so tragic, but beautiful. I think that's, I think that's, we've cracked the case. We've done it. They didn't need to make Zootopia after all.

They could have just come to this realization. It was happening in the background of Disney cartoons already. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've also been Joel. I've been Jackson Joel I've been Jackson I've been Levens would you like to plug anything? yeah

I do podcasts five of them which is too many and one day you guys are going to ask why but two of those podcasts are on the Planet Broadcasting Network

one of them is called Hey Fam which is like pop culture comedy one of them is about comic books it's called Serious Issues and I've got some music ones.

One's called Old Raps. Computer games one about indie games is called All the Small Games. And there's a food one called The Mission. Fuck yeah. Yeah. And you can find them all on iTunes and the wider internet. Exactly. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show.

And yeah, look, now everyone knows everything about Disney. Don't sue us, Waltz. I'm kind of glad he's dead because he can't. Yeah. That's how law works, right? And good luck putting some Hawaiian shirts on Dio. Yeah, let's put a shirt on Melody, our dog.

See what happens. Spit it! Thanks for listening. And if you want to follow us on Twitter you can find us at Sandspants Radio or you can find us individually I'm at Douche13 I'm at OldDogsOfDead

and I'm at GodDammitZammit If you want to hear our other shows you can head to SandspantsRadio.com and you'll find all our other content there There's heaps and if you want to support us head to SandspantsPlus.com Thank you again for listening

and we'll see you again next time Goodnight for now. But not forever. Kisses.