Plumbing the Death Star - Who is Waluigi and What Does He Want? (Ft. Andrew Levins)

Episode Date: December 9, 2018

Where we are joined by our good friend Andrew Levins to ask the hard hitting question like Who is Waluigi and What Does He Want?Sign up to our newsletter here; http://eepurl.com/cM3in9Join our facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Watch us stream here; https://www.twitch.tv/sanspantsradioYou can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073Theme music by the wonderfully talented Benny Davis! You can find all his stuff at his website https://bennydavismusic.com or check out his YouTube https://youtube.com/bennythejukeboxWant to help support the show?Sanspants+: https://sanspantsplus.comPodkeep: https://sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: https://audiobooksontape.comMerch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail]: https://twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: http://www.sanspantsradio.comFacebook: https://facebook.com/SanspantsRadioReddit: https://reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: https://twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: https://twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: https://twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio. Hey, fam. Hey, so Melbourne International Comedy Festival is coming up, and I just thought I'd be a cool dude and let you know that this year, I will be hosting the quiz show equivalent of that scary scene from Dumbo where he drinks the clown water and sees all those elephants just going fucking nuts. We all remember that scene. It's fucking scary as shit. It'll be me hosting with a bunch of comedians and Sands Pants people as guests, and I can basically guarantee no one will ever be the same again.

Tickets will be available from our website, sandspansradio.com forward slash live and the Melbourne International Comedy website tomorrow, so watch this space. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star where we ask you important questions like, who is Waluigi? And what does he want? Why Luigi? The who, what, where, how and why of Luigi. Okay, so he's not Wario's brother, yeah? Because I always assumed he was.

They are not related. So Waluigi is someone that we've mentioned a lot here before, but we've never dived into who he is and what does he want. He is the hero in the Zelda series. That's great to have a set of links. Waluigi's I'm gonna win I'm gonna win I can imagine Waluigi having Mr. Fantastic's powers I just realised

I always find it tragic He's like You got way too excited You know that stretchy Stretchy Waluigi Stretchy liver eating monster from X-Files? Yeah, you can imagine Waluigi sliding through a grate. Yeah, sliding through a vent, eating people's livers.

That's... I'm always sad. It's like a classic, like one of those text posts you see or whatever, where someone was like, I had a dream that Nintendo released an open-world pirate game starring Waluigi called Sea of Greed. And I think it is a tragedy. We don't live in a world where that exists.

I just want a Super Mario Superstar Saga game, but Wario and Waluigi. I agree. That'd be sick. What is a platformer where you play as Wario and Waluigi? Yeah. That'd be so fucking good. Because what I love in the Wario games,

because I'm a big fan of the Wario Land series, right, is that every power-up wario receives it just damages him and that's how he he like does things so instead of like mario gets a mushroom gets big wario gets stung by a bee and then he can float upwards or wario gets crushed by a boulder and then he's flat and can slide into different places so i always want or drunk yeah wario just gets real drunk i always wanted a game where it's Wario and Waluigi, but to solve puzzles, you damage each other to get through the various, like, rooms and puzzles.

I think that'd be so much fun. The saddest fact in the world is that Waluigi has got to be Nintendo's most, like, internally hated character. I think everyone at Nintendo is like, fuck, why did we create this guy? I know they hate Wario. I know there's a lot of hate for like- Really?

Remember the WarioWare series? Well, it does well, but maybe somebody, it's either the like Nintendo just in general, or it's the Smash Brothers guy just hates Wario. Yeah. Because they'll be like, oh, you know, we've got a new Super Mario platformer out, so it's going to be Mario, obviously.

We've got Luigi in there. That's pretty good. And then there's two other characters. I was thinking a blue toad and a yellow toad you know why not just make that wario and waluigi so much fun and then even in the wario ware games it's like all you know waluigi wario like they're pals at least yeah it's like no no we're gonna make a bunch of like badly drawn aliens and like and like weird like fat guys with with like weird hats be the characters in this and a dog that drives a taxi yeah that said i love all those characters if anyone slides him in this

episode i'm fucking walking eight bit rules eight bit that's nine bit nine nine nine oh nine volt i'm out of here all right all right so waluigi is purple Tall, lanky, wrong Yeah okay So we first appeared in Mario Tennis Yes on the Nintendo 64 Because Wario needed a partner And Wario, Wa in Japanese means bad So Wario is

Bad Mario Bad Mario So Waluigi's whole shtick is that he's just a bad Luigi? Yeah, except he should have been- So his identity is based around someone else. Yeah, but he's- Waluigi must be a nickname because he's not- So at least Wario is related to Mario.

They're cousins, right? Right? Or is that also not true? Is that a myth? Nintendo throws stuff around like this all the time because so in the super mario brothers movie it's mario mario and luigi mario i just looked up is wario to then look up like is wario mario's cousin and the first thing is is wario a libertarian That's the question on everyone's lips What the fuck

So obviously I'm clicking that That's why he stands on gun control Well I'm reading a little bit on like I found something that I'm just I want to like circle back to But when asked like if he's a brother of Wario The creator did say that while he did not know The creator's like I don't know

That can't be right. Who's he asking? This Wikipedia article is like... I have no idea. All right, no. The voice actor. Waluigi's motives are a mystery to me. The voice actor said that he didn't know.

He felt that they were just two nice evil guys who found each other. So maybe they're in a nice platonic relationship or a romantic relationship. An odd couple. An awari-anawari couple. The or a romantic relationship. The odd couple. The Waluigi lovers. A wah couple, yes. So continuing my search on google.com, I typed Is Wario Mario? And then the

first three suggestions are Is Wario Mario's dad? Is Wario Mario's brother? And then Is Wario Mario's son? I made the baddest son. He came out of like me but a lot of worse. I can imagine. I try to teach him

my values. He got him a backwards for some reason. I call him a bad Mario. Wario. I can kind of imagine the other way around that Wario is the dad. He does seem a little bit older. Mario, why you not cool like your papa? Why your motorbike, son?

It's like someone being born to a crime family and then becomes like a good, honest cop. Unplugging the toilet. One day this will be a skill you can use. Son, I shit big again. Get in there. papa that just makes makes waluigi the weird guy that's always at the house yeah oh it would be like mario makes mario call waluigi uncle waluigi despite the fact they're not brothers and their relationship is confusion you just know some criminal activity takes place in the house,

but Mario tries to... He doesn't want to know what it is. Waluigi is the kind of uncle in quotation marks that's allowed to hit Mario. Is that kind of family? Poor Mario. Are you saying that the series The Slap exists in a Mario universe? Waluigi slapped Baby Mario in his arm.

I forgot Baby Mario is a character it's so weird to imagine waluigi carrying him not that he ever would dropping dropping maybe mario but like because they also like to me waluigi looks like a guy that either how is making meth or definitely has dealt meth in the past he's's either making or dealing, not using. I'd say he just knows someone that makes and deals meth. Oh, 100%. Warrior. Birdo. Birdo does have a big nose for putting stuff in.

Where's the correlation? You know how you snort meth? I don't snort meth, But I just think that big tube Because Birdo doesn't have a mouth I don't think That's what you'd put it all You know Yeah just shove it in there The feds are coming

Put it in Birdo Alright now I just want to read out something that Just kind of gave me a bit of a pause here Yeah So in one game I think it's Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Yes Waluigi features the ability to summon a body of water and swim towards each game's respective ball,

which IGN editor Rob Berman described as baffling. That is pretty baffling. Yeah, because in Power Tennis as well, another Mario game, he just summons water. So I guess they've decided Waluigi water themed. That's so weird. So he has the ability, has a shit Iceman. Yes.

So he's got... Or one of the Avatar. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got water bending powers, but just away. Well, the only game... It's like in Captain Planet. Like, wind, water.

Just drenches everybody. But it's like It's slimy Kind of thick Oil slick Yeah yeah yeah A pollution But the only game

That Waluigi Has ever been the villain of Or even close To a main character Is the Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix And in that Waluigi wants to win

A dance competition In this essay I will I think he's trying to win a dance competition. He's trying to collect dance crystals to make him the best dancer in the world. So as for the what does he want section, does Waluigi want to be the greatest dancer in the land? Can we just circle back to dance crystals? Yeah.

You've got to get those dance crystals. That's what meth is called in the Martian kingdom. Don't let these dance crystals on me while Luigi. While Luigi, he wanted him the dance crystals. Yeah, so does he want to be a dancer? Is that what he wants? Let's have a look at his body. Does he have the sort of-

He's got a kind of dancer's physique. Not really. The ballet kind of physique there. So I just found the description Of his Smash Bros trophy Which gives it I'm just trying to piece together It's like I've got a board

This is the most research He's ever done He can summon water I'm pulling facts from everywhere There's a lot of Board work going on here Meanwhile I'm three words Into the sentence

Is Wario Mario's cousin I didn't even bring my phone So Waluigi is said to be a mischievous Cunning man who dislikes the happiness Of other characters Yeah I remember reading somewhere that the voice actor of Waluigi Said that he tried to make Waluigi pitiful Well it's the same

It's Charles Martinet who does Mario, Luigi, Wario And Waluigi So he was like I want him to be Like he hates himself That is part of the way he voices Waluigi. So he was like, I want him to be like, he hates himself. That is part of the way he voices Waluigi. And the Nintendo were like, hey, I reckon for this one, you don't need to do an Italian stereotype.

And Charles Martin was like, he is an Italian stereotype or I walk. Every human is Italian. Okay. Except Peach. How are you not getting this? Princesses, obviously not. They're princesses

Every human male Is that just a weird Princess is a race Is this this kind of thing Where it's like Well royalty can't be Italians Italians are the working class What?

Italian are men Princesses are women This is Mushroom Kingdom baby Everyone else is toads It's great that that sort of implies That he gets to decide They're like okay sure sorry Everyone else is toads. It's great that that sort of implies that he gets to decide. They're like, okay, sure, sorry. Everyone else is toads.

I've heard you do every Mario character except a toad on this show. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Now I know why. There it is. Oh, jeez. Oh, boy. We've done toad before.

Oh, no. There was one episode where we were talking about Toad being stuck doing all the dirty work for Wario, I think. Yeah, I think so. I'm breaking kneecaps. Wario, I don't want to move, meth.

Please. I'm on the straight and narrow. That's great, because that implies he was once a criminal. He's trying to get out of the game. God bless him. While the general knowledge is that he's the same age as Luigi

His relationship with Wario is unclear So he's the same age as Luigi Making him the same age as No Mario and Luigi aren't twins The plot thickens It was once stated in the Nintendo Power magazines That Wario is the cousin of the Mario Brothers

But this has never been confirmed He also shares a mysterious relationship with Waluigi A likely theory that he is his brother Though not confirmed Okay Not confirmed but this has never been confirmed. He also shares a mysterious relationship with Waluigi, a likely theory that he is his brother, though not confirmed. Okay. Not confirmed. So is this some kind of like, Wario rocks up to the Mushroom Kingdom, he's seeing this guy, he's named Mario,

he's rescued some princess, he's got a lot of fame, he's like, we kind of look alike. And just kind of makes a grift. He's like, hey, I'm your long lost cousin. He's me, Wario's okay money like the mario games must like just be the only beloved japanese franchise that doesn't have the most insanely convoluted backstory yeah in fact they like actively work against you trying to figure out what's going on like imagine if like waluigi was the um like you know the the broken heart of Wario's son from the future?

All right. So, idea, theory. I'm listening. I'm listening. So, how about this? Okay. So, Wario is bad Mario. Yes.

And Waluigi is bad Luigi. So, again, what if this, like, so, Wario and Waluigi are basically just actors. Okay. And they're making this amazing grift on Mario and Luigi. But they don't get anything out of it. Well, we don't know their long-term grift. And maybe they're just stupid. So Wario comes to Mario and he's just kind of like,

give me money or whatever. And that kind of fails. And then suddenly he's roped into some go-karting tennis shit. And he's like, okay, I need a partner in crime.-karting tennis shit, and he's like, okay, I need a partner in crime. He goes up to his bitter friend, and he's like, look, you kind of look like this cunt, so why don't we dress you up in purple

and yellow? We call yourself Bad Luigi. And you can wear an upside-down L on your hat. Does that make sense? Yeah! And he's like, yeah, alright. They do that. Not quite sure what their goal is. Maybe it's to kill them and impersonate them later in life. The first appearance of Wario, I'm barely sure.

It might be in a game earlier on that's like Tetris with Toad v. Wario. But if it's not that one, the first game with Wario is Super Mario and the Legend of the Six Golden Coins or something. Young Game Boy. And that is where Wario steals Mario's castle? No. Wario does... Yes, no, that's right. He's like the last boss you fight.

He's Wario. Because Mario had recently gone to Sarasaland where Daisy is the princess, right? And while he was away, Wario stole his castle. That's funny. So when Mario comes back, he's like, oh my God.

All right. This is a guy who is Clearly like an evil version of me Is impersonating I don't know So Wario's coming And he's like Nah this is my castle This is my

I need it And then Mario comes along And he's like Give it back And I presume he loses Hey do Wario I'm doing a Borat impersonation My wife

My wife Wario Gotta be more fast My wife My wife This is my castle Wario would love Borat. Waluigi, order me two Bementi. He's still funny after all this time. Waluigi is a big Bruno fan. Bruno's funnier.

Come on. He's underrated. He's underrated. He's funny. You know, he's a bit more polite. I think he's better. I's underrated. It's underrated. It's funny. You know, it's a bit more. I think it's better. I don't know. What did you know about Luigi?

Toad loves Ali G. Yeah. So I think the craziest thing about Super Mario and the six golden coins is the realization that Mario is a castle. That doesn't seem right. Name one other plumber you know that owns a castle. I always imagine Mario- Name one other plumber. Luigi.

Yeah, I always imagine Mario just lives in a house, but I guess he has a castle somewhere. Well, him and Luigi lived together at the start of- Super Mario, the saga one. Mario, Luigi, Super Star Saga. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They live the start of... Super Mario Saga 1. Yeah, Mario and Luigi Super Star Saga. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They live in a big mushroom. Yeah. Do they? Yeah, it's like a house. Is that their holiday mushroom? Could be their holiday mushroom. Maybe when they're away from the castle. Wario, I imagine,

has a kind of transient life. He just lives in motels in the Mushroom Kingdom, motorbiking between them. He has a house though, because that's in all the WarioWare games. It opens in his house. And he has a castle in the WarioLand games, because Captain Syrup, who's a pirate that always steals

his shit, always robs his castle and he's always like, ah! One of them, they wake him up in bed or just kick him out a window. That's the opening of one of the WarioLand games. It's actually that your alarm goes off, you wake up, everybody's there, they pick him up and knock him out a window.

But if you sleep through the alarm... No, if you wake up, it's like there's two different levels depending on whether or not your alarm wakes you up. So if you sleep through the alarm, you get kicked out. But if your alarm goes off and you start moving immediately, you play a different level. Wario Land games rule. Yeah, I think if they were to expand, like, on the lore,

on any of the Mario Universe games, like, just go all out on a Wario and Waluigi game. Absolutely. It's the right move. It's so mysterious. Like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Oh! Fuck!

Hey, before we go on, here's maybe a word from our sponsor. And also a reminder about Big Deal, my nightmare quiz show that is guaranteed to upset. Tickets will be available from our website soon. Dusha, you were saying something? I did solve the mystery of your statement about Nintendo hating Waluigi. Yeah. So Waluigi is the only Nintendo character that was created not by Nintendo. It was made by Camelot, who made the Mario Tennis game the first time.

So they created him as a partner for Wario. So Nintendo were like, yeah, he can live in Mushroom Kingdom, but we're never really going to acknowledge him. Which is also why they hate the other Kongs besides Donkey. Yeah. But Funky's had a resurgence. It's been a good year for Funky. It's been a year of the Funky.

Yeah, so we had Year of Luigi a couple of years ago. Greatest year of my life. Do you think we'll ever get the Year of Waluigi? And what would that entail? I would love that. I would love a game where... So like the Year of Luigi, you could play as Luigi in the Super Mario Brothers games. And they made Dr. Luigi.

Yeah, exactly. We got a new Luigi's Mansion game. But as with every game where you play as Luigi, Luigi can jump higher, but he's a bit slippery. I like to imagine when you play as Waluigi, he doesn't really jump and just climbs over everything. Like slinks. He doesn't have joints.

He's Samaras from The Ring. He's Alex Mack in puddle form always. I also like to imagine him just in a purple puddle with a moustache. Awkwardly. You know, whereas Mario can do a massive jump, Waluigi can jump the height of a regular person. So to get into a pipe he has to actually hoist himself over swing his give me a minute not easy for waluigi come on and he kind

of climbs in spider-man-esque wall crawling but wrong it's great to imagine him falling out the pipe on the other end and landing and having to take a bit because he's hurt like this um they advertise it as like a classic platformer game, but then you get to the first level and there's a really easy jump that any other character in the Mushroom Kingdom would be able to do, except he can't do it and then it's just a gambling game. It's just

solitaire. He just sits down and plays solitaire. Well, I'm not doing this. I tell you, if you told me that Waluigi could climb on walls, I'd be like, yeah. Yeah, we believe that. Apparently he has very powerful legs. We can summon water.

Yeah. Summon water and kick real good. Those are his two powers that just keep reoccurring. His shoes are very pointy. And it made him like a romantic in the more recent tennis games. He always has like roses in his hands and stuff. He's a lover, not a fighter. I can believe that about Waluigi.

He's got a lot of depth. Yeah. I About Waluigi He's got a lot of depth Yeah I think Waluigi's got Like a lot more depth Than we give him credit for You know So A dating sim

Would be a perfect Waluigi game That's A lot of people Have actually like Said like If they're gonna do A Waluigi game

It needs to be A dating sim That would be incredible Date everyone In the Mushroom Kingdom Cause no one I would 100% Pick a toad

For his partner every single time. Oh, no. Because while Wario is like, the dating Wario is, you're going to come out of that like, with a black eye. It's not going to be good.

No. Whereas I feel with like Waluigi, he might like treat you nice. I mean, yeah, you're going to go through a stint where you're addicted to meth. But after that. Controversial opinion, Waluigi's just rough treat you nice. I mean, yeah, you're going to go through a stint where you're addicted to meth. But after that... Controversial opinion,

Waluigi's just rough around the edges. Okay? He spent too much time with Wario. He himself, not a bad guy. He's just got shit friends. If you get in and you start dating Waluigi and you're like, kick Wario out, he's no good.

And Waluigi cuts Wario out of his life. You go get some therapy. Perfect man. Yeah. He looks like he could be easily. Perfect man. Easily be like, finally know what Waluigi really is.

I'm reformed. Who is Waluigi? The perfect man. What does he want? A monogamous relationship. With me. He wants love. That's absolutely the takeaway here.

I'm trying to think of other games he's been in. So he's allowed to go karting. Yep. He's allowed to attend Mario parties. No. Yeah, he's in some. Oh, is he? Yeah, he's in the latest one, yeah.

Fuck, he is too. Yeah. Fuck, why don't I play as Waluigi? I don't know. It's a good question. I don't know what's wrong with you. He always plays as the Goomba. Play as Waluigi.

Goomba's such a fucking lad. I can't look past him. He's got no arms. He rules. No arms, no problems, baby. He's an assist trophy in the Smash Brothers game since Brawl. Yeah, but never will he be allowed to be a- He's got a trophy in Malay, but he doesn't appear in it himself.

Okay. So he can't fight. You're right, he's a lover, not a fighter. He would like to get all the dance crystals and be the greatest dancer in the land. So he wants to dance. He's happy to play some games. He's a bit of a party boy. Yeah.

Doesn't like to throw a punch. No. Loves water and kicks though. Yeah, he's good at kicking and he has water abilities. I'm forgetting anything significant? Yeah, I feel like there's got to be more to this Waluigi character. Oh, he was in Kingdom Hearts. He's the lead character in Red Dead Redemption 2, of course.

Loves horses. I'm trying to think if he's associated with any... Oh, Mario Golf again. Let's break this down a bit more in depth. Can we look at his attire? So he's wearing overalls. Now, is there any significance? So he's a blue collar worker?

Can we kind of at least make that claim? Yeah, but... Or is he just like fashion? Yeah, I think he wears it kind of like it's a look for him. Or is that like... Oh my God, what if he's like a rich dude trying to like dress down to be like his cool friend Wario? Or is it more like Wario, put this on. But Wario most of the time these days just dresses like a bikey.

Like he doesn't really wear the overalls that often anymore. I like this rich boy idea. There's a rabid version of him in Mario plus Rabbids Kingdom Battle. A rabid Wario. Yeah. There's Wario and Waluigi. It's Boirio and Boir-Luigi. That's ridiculous.

I'm also real mad. You know, we were saying that Wario is clearly bad Rio, but Waluigi. That is not Wai-ee-gee. That would have been much better. Wario and Wai-ee-gee. There was also going to be a Wapich. That never happened, though, but there is concept art for a Wapich, which would have complicated things so much further,

but thank God it never happened. What about this Wabowser? Just like bad version. Would Wabowser be good? Well, that is weird that Bowser doesn't have- Italian Bowser. Fuck, I would rule. Yeah. just italian italian bowser fuck i would rule yeah so

so the internet's been going crazy recently with like bowser yeah yeah that weird crown that turns characters into peach

so it's just they just made like real sexy versions yeah of uh criminals in the mushroom kingdom but yeah

give us the waluigi hat yeah yeah it just makes everyone slender and purple. Like too tall and very, very, very long. Yeah. Quick question.

Sure. Does cloning exist in the Mario Kingdom? Ooh. Possibly. Or does magic exist in the Mario Kingdom? Magic certainly does, yeah. Karmic has a magic wand. It uses the PlayStation symbols, which I thought was really weird.

Yeah. Is it possible that through some kind of magic curse that they've just created a being which is just the evil parts of Luigi and the evil parts of Mario? You're saying that Wario and Waluigi aren't like mirror reflection. They are literally the evil in Mario drawn out and made flesh. Because, yeah, Wario was actually like a proper villain in the Subspace Emissary of Smash Bros. Ball.

Yeah, that's true. He was. And he fucking shoots Lucas from Earthbound and turns him into a trophy and steals him. Plus one of his moves is just biting people. So if you take like all the, because Mario, he's not an evil boy. No, Mario doesn't have An evil bone in his body I mean

A little bit of a sociopath At times But I reckon he's a good boy So I reckon That's just been all like Evil's been sucked out And somehow put into this body Of this

Also Wario can't die But he's not evil It's just greed Yeah Yeah So okay Because I reckon Except shooting a kid in

Brawl Yeah Because Mario I mean I want to say he's not- Except shooting a kid in Brawl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Mario, I mean, I want to say he's not evil, but he's an odd boy at times. Yeah, actually, what greed does Wario have that Mario doesn't? Well, Mario still gathers the coins for- Mario, like, doesn't actively want the coins.

He has to get them in order to survive. Yeah, that's true. Because they equal lives to him. That's a good point. Whereas for Wario- Or outfits in Odyssey. Yes. For Wario,

the coins that you receive in Wario Land don't achieve shit. Well, all he wants to do, the only reason he wants coins is so he can bathe in them. What a hater. It's so weird that someone,

like, yeah, he loves eating garlic and then bathing in money. He's got to be the stinkiest dude in the Mushroom Kingdom. Smells like metal and garlic. Is this kind of, what's like, some kind of weird Fullmetal Alchemist homunculus shit where it's like the persona for greed is Wario?

So what is Waluigi? The self-pity. That was a deep dive into Fullmetal Alchemist that I just wasn't expecting to get out of nowhere. How dare you bring something out of nowhere on this fine podcast. I'm so sorry, Ken. Oh, no, like, random references, yes. this fine podcast I'm so sorry Oh no like random references Yes anime references I'm like fucking hell

Let me get my pillow What was I going to say Something about Wario Would you guys If I went Would you guys go in with me And we buy a life size Waluigi body pillow Oh yeah a Waluigi waifu pillow.

Waifu. That's what the wa stands for. It's wife Mario and wife Luigi. What a confusing realisation. Because in the Wario Land games, you never die. The first one you can, but from that point onwards, you don't die. You just lose your money. You just lose your money.

And also at the end, depending on how many coins you collected, is the treasure you get. That's right. Or the castle you get. Yeah, that's right. The castle you receive at the end. I'm just trying to understand. I feel like to understand Waluigi's motives, we need to understand Wario's motives. No, I agree.

I definitely agree. Yeah. It's weird that Waluigi's not more of a coward if he's a dark reflection of Luigi. Well, the self-pity makes sense, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Luigi is a coward. Yeah, well, that's what I mean.

But isn't Luigi's Mansion kind of the fact that Luigi thought himself a coward but turns out was not a coward? Yeah, that's true. Luigi can fight through it. Waluigi. If it was Waluigi's Mansion, he'd just... He'd bite through it. Healuigi. If it was Waluigi's mansion, he'd just bite through it.

He'd slither through the pipes. He's a slithery fella. Show up with a tennis racket. Exactly. Is Waluigi one of the seven deadly sins? Is he a representation? If we're going through Wario being greed, what is Luigi? Do you remember when...

Lost. He's not lost. When Magnum did the ice creams that each of them represented, one of the seven deadly sins, what if one of them was just Waluigi? Waluigi. Is he wrath?

I feel Waluigi could be wrath. He doesn't seem angry, though. Well, apparently it's kind of, again... Is tennis a deadly sin? Waluigi apparently is way cleverer than Wario and prefers to solve... Who is it? Wario is as clever as a brick.

He's a dumb fuck. It's true. And prefers to solve problems with, like, no power and, like, outsmart people But then also he seems like a buffoon Yeah I don't think I've ever said buffoon in my life And I don't know why my brain went there

What are the seven deadly sins? What is Waluigi getting out of his relationship with Wario? Money? Easy though A friend? Friendship Yeah it must just be friendship And tennis partner

Yeah that's How come like You know how like they On Mario Kart Kart you get courses named after the different characters? Wasn't Waluigi's course just a clock? Yeah. Was it a pinball machine? Yes. Maybe there's a clock as well.

Maybe? That's weird that his are all... Yeah, let's find that out. That's weird that his are all racing tracks. Mario Kart. Fuck. All right, well, I'm going on that seven deadly sin path because that's what I want to focus in on.

Okay. So I don't think... I'm going to go grab my phone. Everyone else is doing race. Just give me a second. It's the most important topic you've ever selected. We need this, Jack. Oh, no, he's had a...

Here, there's Waluigi pinball. I just thought it was a fucking clock. Waluigi. The clock I don't think is Waluigi. I know the clock you're talking about. It's in 7. It's just called TikTok clock. Yeah.

So would Waluigi be prideful? I don't think so. No, he's the opposite of pride, I reckon. He's the opposite of pride. Lust? No. Does Waluigi fuck? Hard to say.

He's a romantic. Actually, maybe he is lust. Maybe he is lust. Fuck. Does Waluigi fuck, he's a romantic. Actually, maybe he is lost. Maybe he is lost. Fuck. Does Waluigi fuck Wario? Another great question. That was my theory. Waluigi spider-like above Wario pounding away with what I can only imagine.

Okay, who is the top? Waluigi. Really? Yeah, well, Wario's got cushion for the bushes. Wario does look like a power bottom. Yeah, well, Wario's got cushion for the bush. Wario does look like a power bottom. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I'm just reading about... I know I've brought it up a couple of times,

but I just want to find out exactly the specifics of Dance Dance Revolution Mario mix. While you quickly do that, I just want to point out that I googled Waluigi and found out that he looks heaps like our former Prime Minister Tony Abbott. Who also eats onions. What could that possibly mean?

Add that to the red string chalkboard we've got going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I see it. I reckon maybe, like, Waluigi, in my two cents, is definitely at least some aspects of lust. With a little bit of apathy there thrown in. Yeah, I would say of all of them, it's definitely lust. Yeah. So Waluigi's lust.

Yeah. You want to know the saddest thing ever? Yes. So I had misremembered and sold out of Waluigi body parts. Not my wafus. So I thought Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix was about Waluigi wanting to steal dance crystals to be the greatest dancer in the world.

No. He's stealing music keys to give to Wario so that Wario can make Dance Dance Revolution Wario mix. And then Wario gets them stolen off him by Bowser, who is the final boss. That is the most pathetic trajectory. That makes me decide that Waluigi is the bottom. That's so sad. trajectory. So that makes me decide that Waluigi is the bottom. Yeah. That's so sad. Is Waluigi just a good friend to Wario?

I think. Who doesn't deserve it? He doesn't deserve it. Which has never been given any other friends, so he doesn't know. Yeah. He doesn't know what true friendship is like. I feel like maybe just what does Waluigi want? A good friend. Yep.

Who is Waluigi? Wario's good friend. A needy friend. He's not lost. He's pathetic because it turns out that he in the Mario Party games, and this is canon, is in love with Daisy, but she does not feel the same way. And in Mario Party 5

and 6, teams have names and it's called Awkward Date, those two, because Daisy is not keen. But pathetic isn't a said, Linda. No. Or the Pathetic Magnum Ice Cream villain. It's just a stick in a bag. A previous sucked on stick.

A stick in a bag, and they've just topped the bag up with a bit of milk. If you're sloshing around, you get whatever remnants of chocolate were on the stick, and it's a bit flavoured. That's disgusting. No, thank you.

Okay, well, sorry, I guess, yeah, he's definitely not lost. No, he's certainly not lost. Is sad a sin? I see him as a happy character. We painted him as such a sad little guy, but I feel like, you know, in spite of all of his uh shortcomings he rises above i think you're right he's inspiring and well like what is he inspiring yeah because he never i mean like he's never down and out you know if you think about him you know dance dance mario mix it made him out to seem like he was pretty pathetic you know that game we think about every day that game i can't stop thinking about because he gets the keys gives it to wario and then

presumably waluigi goes and has a lovely day by the beach or something. He's not involved. He's just a cog in the system, and he's happy for it. He seems like almost like a bit of an underling. He seems like kind of like maybe like Wario's lieutenant. You know what I mean? He's like, you go out and do some of the grunt work for me. What's that Looney Tunes cartoon,

and it was like that little needy dog always yapping around the bigger dog like that's what waluigi is yeah what are we gonna do today boss yeah yeah yeah i have one last horrible piece of information to add into all of this that just leads to stockholm syndrome basically being what waluigi is and also why he wants what he does so So in 2001 to 2003, Nintendo of Europe posted a web series on their website called Wario's Warehouse that depict Wario strapping Waluigi to medieval torture racks to make him thinner and longer.

So he's a more exaggerated version of Luigi to match how Wario is a more exaggerated version of Mario. Oh, no. Wario created Waluigi. So Waluigi just wants a regular-looking Italian man. So, does Wario have any beef with Luigi? Or just with Mario? Well, he's attracted to Daisy, who is what Luigi is also attracted to, I guess.

It's the closest they have to a beef. Because what I'm trying to think here is, wario is just kind of like obsessed with mario is this kind of just kind of he wants to to basically become mario so that he's now kidnapped some guy who was sort of lanky ish stretched him out tortured waluigi or carl and like just stockholm the shit out of this poor boy brainwashed him somewhat so that Waluigi is now in a cult of Wario. I'm reading here in the Mario and Sonic at Rio 2016 Olympic Games, when you win, Waluigi warns the player that people won't cheer them on forever just because they win medals.

And also in Mario Gold World Tour, he warns the player character to not let the victory go to their heads and they should be honest with themselves and just happy they earned it. He says that his favourite thing to do in between rounds is relax and have fun. He's inspiring.

I think he's a lover. I'm ignoring that scary piece of canon. There's also a fan theory that says that he's Foreman Spike. They got tortured. Foreman Spike, the main character from the video game Wrecking Ball that appeared on the NES, I think. Really? I've never heard that. Because he's dressed the same as Waluigi, but it's like a little bit thinner.

And his cart- Waluigi's cart in one of the Mario Kart games resembles the tractor. So that's what Foreman Spike looks like. And then Wario stretched him out. So you shave Foreman Spike, you stretch him out. Look, I still think he's a lover. I still think he's an inspiration. But I think he's just been brainwashed by that cunt Wario. And I think we need to get him away from that toxic, toxic man.

I think you're right. I think you're absolutely right. We've got to look after Waluigi. It's less what Waluigi wants and more what we can do for Waluigi, and that is free him of that cunt Wario. Free Waluigi. Free Waluigi. Put that on a T-shirt.

And this weekend, make sure you call the Waluigi in your life and let him know how important he is to you and on that note I've been Joel I've also been Joel I've been Jackson I'm Levens the Waluigi of your life

please call me and listen to my podcasts Hey Fam Serious Issues and the other ones bye thanks for listening and if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can find us at Sandspants Radio,

or you can find us individually. I'm at Douche13. I'm at OldDogsOfDead. And I'm at GodDammitZammit. If you want to hear our other shows, you can head to SandspantsRadio.com, and you'll find all our other content there. There's heaps!

And if you want to support us, head to SandspantsPlus.com. Thank you again for listening, and we'll see you again next time. Good night for now. But not forever. Kisses.