Plumbing the Death Star - Who Thought the Sentinel Program Was Such a Good Idea?

Episode Date: December 10, 2017

In which our heroes decide to rid the world of mutants, build gigantic machines, and realize their terrible mistake as we ask who thoughts the Sentinel Program was such a good idea?Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/ Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter:  twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SANSPANS RADIO. Store below 25 degrees Celsius. Plus members. For more details, just head to sandspantsradio.com slash live. And while we're on the topic of live shows, we'll be announcing tour dates for Plumbing the Death Star national tour in the next few days. So make sure you subscribe to our newsletter and follow us on social media for any and all live show updates. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask you important questions like, who thought the Sentinel program was such a good idea? Because like, mutants are a problem. We can establish that.

Yeah. We can establish that. They're a problem. But as a way, a solution. I'll agree, just so the episode doesn't stop straight away. So as a solution for a quote-unquote mutant problem... There we go. Don't say quote-unquote in there.

You're absolved of any guilt you might feel. I think it was Bolivar Trask was like, I know what'll destroy the mutant or fix this mutant problem. Giant robots. It's elaborate. Yeah. As a method of eliminating the mutants, mutant problem, giant robots. It just, it's elaborate. Yeah. As a method of eliminating the mutants,

there are surely, like, infinitely better ways to take care of them than 50-odd or 100-odd giant bots. Not just that. I'm going to make one giant bot, we'll call him Master Malt, and he's going to make more giant bots that he's going to keep replicating until we have enough to destroy the mutants. And they kill the mutants, yeah? They just zap them? Yeah, they pretty much kill them. They apprehend or somewhere like, I think some of them

depending on the power source of a mutant are either going to kill and destroy or capture. It seems very rarely depicted of them capturing mutants. A lot of them are killing them. For some reason I imagine that this hentai has a big clear chest and they like suck them up and the mutants. A lot of them are killing them. For some reason I imagine that this handle has a big clear chest and they like suck

them up and the mutants like a big gumball machine. Keep Wolverine in there. I think that was in a Terminator. Was it? Yeah, the shitty future one. In Salvation? Yeah. That's good ass. The Terminators suck up the humans and they put them in their chest. But it's all

gross and shitty. Like the movie. Hey, scathing commentary on Terminator Salvation. It's about time somebody called it out. Fucking cop that McG. There you go. Fucking cockhead. Well, look, before we tear into Sentinels.

Well, hang on. I think that they probably only apprehend the ones that don't fight back. But we never follow those ones because they're boring. Oh, yeah. So they do apprehend them. They did apprehend, I think that they probably only apprehend the ones that don't fight back, but we never follow those ones because they're boring. They do apprehend them. They did apprehend, I think, the very first one, they apprehended Xavier and brought him to Master Morgue. Xavier, they got no brain. He's just a guy in a wheelchair. They're like, I feel wrong

about murdering this man. That's like Xavier in his office and then and he's like, what is... No! But I'm already sitting. I can't run away. Don't put me down in the mud. Now I'm stuck. Imagine the sentinel picking up his wheelchair

and tipping it into the sentinel's mouth. Well, good, I guess. Now I live in a sentinel's chest. It's clear. It's roomy. A lot of space for crawling around. Somebody else popping into a sentinel's chest and there's just fucking Professor X crawling on the floor.

But like happy? Yeah. This is heaven. This was a vacation for me. No one hassling me in here. What the fuck, bub? This is heaven. This was a vacation for me. No one hassling me in here. What the fuck, Bob? Mostly the sentinels are there to destroy.

Yeah, but I was going to say, before we tear into them, which I'm sure inevitably we will, what are the benefits of a sentinel, you know? They're scary. They're intimidating. Good propaganda. They're very big. They are very big.

Very big. Yeah, and most of the X-Men are small. Or at least man-sized. Yeah. They are robots. So you're not throwing men at the problem. Yeah, look, no loss of life. Yeah, so men and women aren't dying to stop the mutant problem. We're just killing bots.

Except, however, except, don't the Sentinels also just like destroy property as they go now that was you we didn't say this okay we're talking about the positives yeah yeah okay so like with just base concept there's no loss of human life um they're like you said they're metal so that means that any you know like super damaging you, like flesh damaging mutations aren't going to cause problems to this antelope. But they are metal now. Well, Magneto's whole deal is that he can manipulate metal.

Yeah, but like still that's going to stop people like... Who's metal a problem for? Anyone? Wait, you mean a problem as in like to stop or a problem as in because most everyone metal a giant metal robot coming to story was a problem unless you're a magneto no i think but like but like pretty pride could just phase in fucking wolfy doofy could just slip slip and he's inside too is that what his mates let him call him? That's what I call him. So he's enemies. Not his enemies.

No, no, no. Jackson Bailey, the enemy of Wolverine. Yes. Wolverine could use his claws to slip, slip. Slip, slip his way inside. I think just most X-Men, a big metal thing, obviously it's an issue but like it's not gonna stop any but you know what i mean you can't punch your way through a metal thing you got to

think about when you're designing a sentinel at least when he was he wasn't designing it just for stopping the x-men it was mutants as a whole oh okay so it wasn't because the mutants are like a the x-men are like a very they're a militarized small unit. But there are just John Q and Jane Q Mutant kicking it out in the burbs. Yeah, an accidental mutant who can control fire or create fire. He's accidentally putting things on fire. Yeah. Sentinel comes down and picks him up or squishes him. Squishes him, puts him in his mouth.

Yeah. In with Xavier. They're so big and there's so many of of them If the rest of the world disagrees What can they do as well It's basically like having a giant Mechanical military force Present because it's also a force of power Like showing a force of power

Do you know how many sentinels there were All up Max We're talking hundreds We're talking thousands We're talking millions? Probably more like thousands because it's also when we get into the evolution of them

they end up becoming like nanobots as well. So there's a lot of there. That's alright. Guna, you scrunched up your face first and that's my still reaction. No, mine's come round. It's subtle, it's good. Your head like popped in between your shoulders and you scrunched up your face but then popped back out again like a turtle. It's because I'm more on board. Mine's calm around, because it's subtle. It's good. Your head popped in between your shoulders,

and you scratched your face, but then popped back out again like a turtle. It's because I had to be reborn. There was the first Sentinels, and I think there was, say, maybe 100 or so, I would argue. That's good. 100's good, because that means for everyone the X-Men killed, it would actually be like a pain in the ass.

Like, oh, they wiped out 16 of 100? Yeah, I know. You're like, that's annoying. That's very expensive. Yeah. Then there was the Mark II Sentinels, but Cyclops convinced them to fly into the sun. Just with his own, like, excellent negotiations.

Hey, boys, instead of killing me, how about you just whoop and chew off? I think from memory, Cyclops' argument was, look, Sentinels, you want to kill mutants. I get that. But you know what causes mutants? The sun. Energy from the sun is what is basically causing mutants to happen.

So best to clear war on that sun. And then the robots are like, yep. Bolivar Trask, you made some dumb fuck bots. That was his son. Cyclops is also a dumb fuck there, because what if the Sentinels had to beat the sun? I mean, he was

really banking on it, they would. It's very funny to imagine him, like, standing, fucking proud as punch. And then the sun explodes. Fuck. What did you do, Simon? Why not be like Miles in space

That's where you gotta go Not our sun Another sun Because then they gotta come back Yeah, but Galak just caused the mutants Go get him The sun is just like

A fragile thing No, it's not We only got one,it in the marvel universe it absolutely is in the marvel universe i'm sure there were like 50 hundred people who have the ability to destroy the sun i was about to like object to be like what in what conceivable place in time could a bunch of robots destroy a sun but No, you're right. I can think of three off the top of my head. Yep, yep, yep. They would all destroy the sun.

That was very stupid, Cyclops. It worked, thank God, but before you're lucky. So what came after the sun? And I can imagine Bolivar Jr. just being like, what happened? Excuse me? The what now? Watching the tracking chips he's got in the mind.

They're leaving Earth. They're heading for the... No! Turn around! Turn... Ah, God damn it. The son died because he was a mutant. So they turned on him.

What was his power? I don't know. Creating dumb fuck robots. The ability to make a thing that kills him. I'll have a quick squiz. I'll have a quick squiz. I'll have a quick squiz to see exactly what his power is. The next one was done by a guy named Stephen Lang. Arrow?

Stephen Lang? Isn't Lang the last name of the Ant-Man? Oh, no, is Stephen Lang the actor that plays Arrow? How do I know the name Stephen Lang? There's a Lang that is an Ant-Man. Yeah, but that's not Stephen Lang. they're more than one lang in the world uh he became uh some kind of gross thing okay um i think those sentinels kind of looked like x-men from memory oh so that was like a robo wolverine to kill the real wolverine old mate loki get involved at some

point you don't make magic sentinels. He made magic sentinels that merge into tri-sentinels. Yep. That's good. I wasn't even close. I do know Stephen Lang, but not a mutant Stephen Lang and not an X-Men Stephen Lang. An actor Stephen Lang. Stephen Lang the actor. He was in Don't Breathe. He was the

spooky man. Oh, okay. That's good to hear. That's nice. I'm very confident by this fact. Thank you. Well, I mean, like, it was giving me head arse ache. Me too. But my head and my arse were an ache in a way. Larry's, he's the son of Bolivar. His powers were just precog abilities.

Yeah, lame. In dreams. Nobody wants that. Ah, so it was like a mutant power. He didn't even realize it was a mutant. As an aside, that's the worst power to get. He dreamt good. Hands down. I just mean recognition.

I'd hate it. I would be like, no, thank you. Take it back. Don't want to know what happens in the future. It's just boring. It's just dull. Give me the powers of a bat or like hawk legs. I like the idea that like you get precog abilities,

but it would be like, yours would be shit. It would be like, oh, okay, cool. I can just see when I'm taking my next piss. I'm looking forward to that. I like to imagine I just get a precog thing, but it's crazily zoomed in. Just like, I don't know, it's blue. There was other Sentinels as well.

There's something called Wild Sentinels. Which is when Xavier's twin, Cassandra Nova, she found some in the Amazonian forests and basically became a trask somehow using DNA and sent them at Genosa and wiped out like 16 million mutants. So does that mean sometimes the sentinels just get lost? And sent them at Genosaur and wiped out like 16 million mutants. So does that mean sometimes the Sentinels just get lost? Yeah, so what I'm reading here and what I can remember,

there was just basically a Master Mold who was where the Sentinels get built. It's like a factory, but it's like a sentient factory. A guy, yeah, like a factory, but a fella. And he was just in the Amazonian jungle, and he was just churning out a bunch of Sentinels. And I'm remembering some of the panels, they were like bugs and stuff that looked mechanical, so it was just like creating Sentinels that looked like anything. And so Cassandra sent that to...

So Bolivar, or one of the Bolivars, is like, I've got to make these mutant killing things. I made this machine. It's just going to pop out at random Sentinels that look like a whole matter of different things, and I'm going to go do other shit. Yeah, because he died I think early on. So then he just, the

Sentinel program just, somebody looking at the Trask budget is like, what are we sending all this money to the Amazon for? But you're not. It's just Master Mold is recreating itself. It's basically Grey Gooing. But it'd be on the books somewhere. Why? It's Grey Gooing itself. No, I know.

So the Master Mold, the Master Mold's on the books. Yeah, that's what I mean. No, I know. So the master mould's on the books. Yeah, that's what I mean. So that's one. So you know you're making the master mould. And you know the master mould's making more, yeah? Well, then how is that on the books? Well, it's not. That's what it's designed for, right? Yeah, so you've got one master mould, but he creates another master mould.

That's not on the books. No, but the fact that he's creating sentinels is. Yeah, but one. So he was creating One Sentinels is Yeah but one So he was designed to create a subsequent sentinel Jackson doesn't know what on the books means I guess he does No that's alright Wait what do you think on the books means

I just mean there'd be like a record of it No I guess he does know what that means Okay What are you saying How Okay so I'm Trask Okay you Alright

And I'm Trask and I'm like This is a special thing Gift for our audience We haven't had one of these in a while I'm Trask and I'm like. This is a special thing, gift for our audience. We haven't had one of these in a while. I'm Trask and I'm like, all right. Okay. We made the Sentinels. That was sick.

Good. We made that Master Mold and he's popping out newies. Yeah? Yeah. Fuck, man. That's what I've written up in the write up on the, this is, the company is aware of this On the books. On the books.

Yep. And I'm like. And I eat shit and die. Yep. And I'm like, and I eat shit and die. Yep. And everyone's like, well, look, that's just happening. Let's just ignore it. Okay. The rest of my company is just like, that's occurring,

but we're not going to check up on it. We're just going to let it run wild. We're going to focus on other Trask problems. Uh-huh. Yeah? Yeah. Well, that's just stupid. No.

Yes, but no. Because what's happened is, I guess, you've got a master mold, and we made sentinels, and then it's just like, okay, I'm dead. And so someone's been like, well, that master mold, we're going to shut it down, or they sell it off. At some point, someone from the Hellfire Club gets it and sells it off. But they're like, okay, I guess not our problem anymore. Unbeknownst to them.

Oh, well, I didn't know it was unbeknownst to them. They've popped out another Master Mold, and he's gone off somewhere and popped out his own sentinel. So the problem is that people are dumping sentinels, basically. The same way you'd throw a car down a hill. No, the problem is that the sentinels are not just robots. They've got a mind of their own. They're AI.

That is a problem. One has a fear of death, which is interesting. Why would you give them any kind of sentience? I don't think they meant to. I think they just developed. I think at one point they shoved future tech into them. From like a nimrod. That's just a really stupid move.

There are millions of easier ways of removing the mutants than just... Yeah, so again, you've got this idea of, I've got to get rid of the mutants or stop them because they're a problem, and I get giant bots. Stupid! Because even though we went through the benefits, the negatives are they're giant fucking robots. If you remember the 1990 animated series,

you have like four sentinels come down at a mall and just like take off the roof. Yeah. That's not good. And you've got like four sentinels. It is actually very good. But you've got four sentinels just stomping around the mall. Also's not good. And you've got like four sentinels. It is actually very good. But you've got four sentinels just stomping around the mall. Not great.

Then you've got the problem there of causing when the sentinels attack, well the mutants are then backed into a corner. So then you've got like Jubilee being like, shit, a thing! And then just making fireworks go off in a public place. You're causing them more problems. You're making the mutants seem like

more of a problem than they are. But they are a problem. I don't know. I think they're a bit like a cat. Where they're fine, just don't hit them. Because then they'll get angry and attack back. That's stupid. You're kind of pushing these, like the sentinels at least, are pushing the mutants

into a corner and then causing them to do damage. My problem with the sentinels is that least, are pushing the mutants into a corner and then causing them to do damage. My problem with the Sentinels is that what do the X-Men fight regularly on a daily basis? Big robots. So you're basically being like, what if one of these big robots wanted to kill the X-Men? And people are like,

you know, the X-Men just fight big robots every day. That's just their deal. They're fighting big enemies. That's the goal. Also, why invent big robots with... I mean, the big robots you're referring to are the Sentinels, so... No, no, I'm sure X-Men have fought other large robots. No.

You're telling me never in the history of X-Men. Well, they have, but they've always just been Sentinels. Like, the biggest thing, like, the big robot that they're fighting is Sentinels. But they've fought other giant things, yeah? I mean, probably big mutants. Doubtlessly, they have fought other large creatures. You've got Krakoa, which was a giant island. Yeah.

But that's not a robot. It doesn't matter. You're basically being like- And the public wouldn't know about that. Wait, they fought an island? Yeah. We've had this discussion. Yeah, I'm sure we have.

You know what? I don't even know why I stop episodes with questions like that anymore. My problem is that you're like, what's a thing the X-Men are doing anyway getting into fights with things that are more powerful than them getting into fights with other mutants yeah but like occasionally those mutants basically it's like you've got

like an army right and that army is going up against another army and you're like but what if I made another army that was specifically designed to fight the original army you're just playing into what's happening anyway you know what I mean What if I made another army that was specifically designed to fight the original army? You're just playing into what's happening anyway. You know what I mean? Like if Skeletor was like, what if I made a guy that was like an evil guy try to get He-Man?

You're like, He-Man's ready for that. That's the point of He-Man. That's the point of the X-Men is that they're like, well, it's lucky that this is a thing we can fight. Not like a disease. And I guess the good thing with... I'm'm i'm just that was some foreshadowing i feel anyway but it's good that they are robots because it does let the uh heck actually because they are robots it makes the mutants be able to unleash and then show their devastating power because they're against robots not humans which then you could use that footage and be like see but is it not better to just make humans and then the mutants kill the humans

because they look even worse but the x-men in particular are usually going to be restrained and a lot of because again well that's great then the humans will get the x-men well that's the thing but then you've got public opinion against you it's kind of like with the military training it's very apparently it's very hard for military training for someone to actually shoot another person. Yeah. But you take that away

and you get them fighting a giant robot, it's very easy to show Scott Summers unleashing on a giant robot because then we can be like, fuck, look at the power this one man has.

And then you sell it against the people. Propaganda, my friend. I don't know if it's good propaganda if they're made to fail. If I was John Q. James Jane F. Sally's citizen, I would be like, well, of course they're fighting back. They're big robots that are designed to attack them.

But if you sell them as your police force, as in like we need them because they're dangerous and we're only being apprehended. I think I'd be more scared of the Sentinels. Well, you probably should be because the Sentinels always end up evolving and then attacking people that carry the mutant gene, but it's dormant just in case it appears.

Mostly just because they're bigger. Yeah, they are. They are giant. And they've got a face. Don't give them a face. Yeah, I can sympathize. Make them just like a giant traffic cone. Yeah, perfect.

That goes, That's not scary. Just a big cube that sings. And another problem with the sentinels is they sometimes don't just attack the ones that are attacking. They'll just, at a random crowd, they'll scan and be like, that is a mutant. Attack, attack, attack. And causing a problem.

Yeah. And like you said, you might not know you're a mutant. You'd be like, I just have weird dreams. And then you've got this giant metal fist coming and picking you up and... Yeah, exactly. And then suddenly you're in a yeah exactly fucking clear case sentinels are by and large they seem to attack so if it is designed for propaganda it's not working because to me john q citizen i'm just seeing like a sentinel squish a guy with its thumb and i'm like

is that a commute am i gonna get squished later on they get get some people like as in a mech manning the robot and like that's okay but it's still kind of stupid. It's very ineffective. The whole thing seems unimaginably ineffective. So you can all agree the Sentinel program, dumb as balls. It's a wash chuck it in the fucking toilet. We also haven't even mentioned

the fact that like one of the scariest mutants is someone who can control metal so why would you build metal robots? Exactly, why would you? I couldn't tell you. Big metal robots. I can't talk today and it's interesting. Yeah, like it just seems like... You're asking for trouble,

it's exactly what I'm saying. You're doing something that the X-Men are very ready for. And we're not even getting to the cost factor. Oh, wow. Making one robot is going to cost factor. Oh, wow. Making one robot is going to be expensive. Like, yes, we're using master mold, and yes, he's, like, replicating it, but he's got to get that matter from somewhere.

That's troublesome. And if he's not getting it from, like, the Amazonian jungle destroying whatever land he is, if you're doing it in, like, a city center, ideally you would want more control over it so you're, you know, feeding it raw materials. That's expensive and pricey. When you chuck one up against a Sentinel,

it gets fucked on. That's gone. There's no salvaging that. When Scott Summers blasts something with his fucking optic blast, do you reckon they're going to let you come in and take that robot? No. No, they're not. Why?

It's wasted so much money. What are you doing being like, yeah, I'll make a robot. Oh, it could get destroyed by the one guy I know I'm fighting's optic blast. That's something we should have checked. Oh, well, build another one. I guess maybe the Trask Industries is just like, whatever, we're swimming in cash. Exactly. Make as many Sentinels as you want.

Who gives a shit? Yeah, well, that's true. I mean, like, if you look at the days of future past, they actually succeed, and it was a good job from them. I mean, you know, if we look into the future, not even history, but the future, they succeeded, so well done, I guess. Well, I mean, if you have enough Sentinels, then I guess it's fine. It depends on what your end goal is. If it's to destroy all the mutants but lose the favor of humanity,

then just build as many robots as you want and wholesale take over the planet. We don't get a lot in the film version, at least of the Days of Future Past kind of world. We do in the comics, and it's very much like they're in camps and everything. So it doesn't look great. That reminds me of an event that people don't like talking about.

And so I'm curious to see what the- Summer camp. Yes. Summer. Scott's summer. I get it now. There it is. But yeah, no, it's a concentration camp.

Yeah, it's a holocaust. Yeah, that's no good. I'm not sure if we're actually shown how the humans are living in that world. Probably not well. It looks like the whole world's gotten fucked up. Well, yeah, I just assumed that... I don't know if there's a line or if my brain just put this together, that the sentinels started turning on humans

that had the potential of giving birth to mutants. Well, they start going on... They go for the mutants and they go for the heroes. They go from basically metahumans. So like your Avengers and that kind of stuff. Gotcha, Captain America. Yeah, do you care? Are there any Marvel characters that are just metahumans but not mutants? So obviously most people get it from science or magic or mutation.

Is there anyone like... Inhumans, I guess, is your next equivalent. Because, like, in DC, some people just have powers. Like, just don't worry about it. Batman? Yeah, him. He's a metahuman now in the comics, officially. He sat on a magic chair.

Oh, yeah, he did. He sat on a god chair. I don't know if that was what caused it. Something did. Just three jokers. I don't know. It's fine. It's fine.

Let's not talk about that. Batman's magic.. Something did. Just three jokers. I don't know. It's fine. It's fine. Let's not talk about that. Batman's magic. It's good. Just three jokers. He should stop at least one of them. Wait, hang on. I think if you're born with powers, you're a mutant. There are other things that were like, I think, say, old man, muscle man, he might not be

a mutant. He's like a different breed, like a changeling or something like that. He's wrong. Yeah. But it's basically, like, it boils down to, like, you're kind of immune, basically. All right. So if we're saying that the Sentinel program is very silly on so many different occasions, we're not talking about collateral damage, expenditure, even effectiveness, if we don't

take into account that they win. Which let's not. Which let's not. Because I don't think realistically they would. Well, even if they do win, what cost yeah yeah because if you look at the film future past they've morphed into like they're basically using the morphing abilities of whatever and doesn't seem that humanity is around yeah and jackson just remember the at what cost part before you suggest whatever your terrible, terrible, terrible alternative is. Jackson?

Little children robots. That I wasn't expecting. Synthetic children. What? Designed to attack the mutants. Do we want to talk about propaganda? I'll let Professor Xavier know that I have manufactured a weapon that these synthetic children carry

that can eliminate the mutants one way or another. Okay? And I'm like, they'll kill your mutants. And then I leave. All the mutants know, the little children come up and attack them. If the mutants attack the kids, maybe I'll put a bomb in them

so that a bomb goes off the moment the mutants attack the child. It also looks to everybody else like the child just exploded. Or like Wolverine cut the head off a little girl. I come out on top and then the rest are mop up with like a disease or something. Problem.

So the moment you have Cyclops or someone punch a small child and their fist goes through the small child and then So the moment you have Cyclops Or someone Punch a small child And their fist goes through the small child And then metal parts Are shown It's like it's created in a lab So it's an actual little girl

It's like yeah but like It doesn't have a brain It's like not a robot You know like when people make a synthetic human like Westworld That's what we're talking It's not really real But it's also not a robot You know like when people make a synthetic human Like Westworld That's what we're talking It's not really real But it's also not really not real Yeah it's got bleeds and stuff

Yeah that's bad So the moment Even like the moment beast I would say they capture one Because they're not going to want to kill one No of course not They won't catch it in a net Yeah

Unless you just start like sending little Like boys and girls that just start exploding That's fine too. Maybe we'll put them on a timer or something. They've got a tracking chip in it, so if I'm watching it on my big screen and I'm like, that one's going into the X-Mansion. Self-destruct.

So the moment they get captured, someone captures one and they start doing an autopsy. The moment you get fucked on. Why? Because they're like this is this is whatever made this is a monster well actually jackson it's got a self-destruct thing so they good luck with the autopsy yeah they're over there like slice in explode beast is dead yep blew his face clean off people come in and it just looks like the little girl exploded on the table And Beast died somehow from it

That's exactly what happened It's the perfect way to eliminate the mutants So It's the perfect way to eliminate some mutants Yeah Because you're gonna get the invulnerable ones People who can take the brunt of that damage I've just sent several children to those ones.

You're going to get got by Wolverine. Why is Wolverine? I'll just send child after child after him. He'll find out. Same thing he did with Nitro in Civil War. He just hunted him out. He fucking traced him under the sea. Well, maybe I'll go to space and do it all from there.

Yeah, how are you getting the maybe I'll go to space and do it all from there. Yeah, like the thing, how are you getting the fucking funds to go to space? I'm assuming you have the same amount of funds as Trask. I'm Bolivar Trask in this, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Baxentrask. Bolivar's not a real name, by the way.

It's just Oliver spelt wrong. I'm Bajaxentrask. So I assume I have the same level of funding as old Bolivar so you know I can go and hide your jurisdiction in Australia is America you don't have the funds

to go to space well go deep underground then hide in a mine even if you kill a lot of the X-Men that's your goal here you're not getting rid of the even if you kill a lot of the X-Men, that's your goal here. You're not getting rid of the mutant problem. You're getting rid of the X-Men problem. But that's what the disease is for, to wipe it mop up.

So what's going to happen is all these fucking X-Men are going to die or whatever, or they're just going to be like, don't touch those small children because they're going to blow up. You're going to leave a scent or something, clues in the wreckage of things being blown up. Wolverine's going to find you. You're going to get skewered, mate. You're going to get one of them slip-slip as Wolverine is known to do.

He loves a slip-slip. Slip. What happens? Can I do something specifically for Wolverine? I mean, if you want. I mean, sure. Because is there a way to cut Wolverine clean in half and then separate the two bits?

Will I then get two Wolverines? Maybe. Because it's happened once before in the Ultimate Universe, the Hulk rips him in half, but then he kind of crawls to his legs and attaches himself. But I'm wondering if I just rip him in half, get Hulk to rip him in half or slice him in half with whatever. How do you get Hulk on side? What does Hulk want?

Not little girls exploding. What if I promise him that I'll cure his Hulkness? That's good for him. Fuck, that always gets Hulk. It does. It gets Banner, not Hulk. Well, I'll wait for Banner, then I'm like, Banner, you just got to tear Wolverine in half and bring me his legs.

Or he's got to drop Banner near Wolverine, and they'll just fight anyway. Yeah, then I get his legs, and I send Wolverine's legs to space. And if Wolverine wants to become a hole again, he's gotta travel to space. It really just depends at what point in time Wolverine is doing shit because he's been able to regen from a drop of

blood, so who the fuck knows? I think then in that case we're done for Wolverine regardless of what our plan is. He's put Wolverine into the sun. Yeah, look, if I can just be like, yep, great, here's the little children that will blow up on the X-Men And a disease And also Wolverine I'm putting you in the sun

Before any of this happens Say it's a success Say it's like okay You've sent out a lot of these little girl bombs You're gonna get found out one way or the other Oh I don't care I've got the mutants I'm unimportant but but they're like

jackson bailey made synthetic children to destroy the axe man and mutants i'll be like you're gonna be reviled as a monster through history that's all right and if anything you're gonna like you know mutants are gonna have a sympathetic cause now as in like i thought i got all the mutants well the thing is jackson they're dying of illness illness. Well, when we give birth, there's a chance that becomes a mutant. Yeah. What are you doing about them? And you're dead now or in jail. My children will bring my legacy.

They'll... Because if you're now the one... History will understand. If you're... B. Jackson Bailey Jr. B. Jackson Trask is the one who is like junior. So if Brajaxon Trask was sending like a little girl bomb, that would be found out.

In the public eye, you would be mocked, ridiculed, seen as a true villain of the 20th century. What if my tie is, yeah, that's fine. Because also like, okay, yeah, you killed the X-Men, but like are you also just sending out little bomb girls in public where there's mutants? Yeah. And then you're getting collateral damage.

You're now making, oh, my God. You're just a terrorist. You're worse than Sentinels. You actually, you've made something worse than Sentinels. I don't care about that. I'm just trying to get rid of the mutants. At what cost? Remember?

Remember that? Remember that line? I specifically didn't listen. The disease, is there a way to make it so that the disease is not associated with Bajax and Trask Industries? Because if I can do that, then I'll cop the blame for the little girl bombs and little boy bombs. That's fine. It's just, if the disease happens and that renders people who were going to have mutants barren or whatever is impotent, whatever is necessary. Why don't you put the disease in the little girls rather than making them bombs?

Oh, see, I'll do both. They explode and release a pathogen. Why are you so attached to the bomb? The bomb's the problem. You got rid of the bomb, this would fix things. But then, you know, people will learn to... You just want to fucking go out and... Son of a bitch.

I made children bombs. That's my legacy. That's my gift to the world. Children bombs that just release a pathogen into the atmosphere that render anybody who is going to have a mutant child impotent or barren. Okay. Yep. Done and done.

And I'll go down, yes, for a while, people will be like, damn, Jackson Bailey, monster of the 21st century. But then when they're like, man, the fact that the mutants are gone now means that life is so much less of a hassle. Maybe that Jackson fella was alright. I mean, like, the Hulk still exists and, like, science creations and metahumans.

I'll kill Hulk before I die. I'll be like, Hulk, I finally, I'll give you the, you know, the cure. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Two shots to the brain. It is the Hulk he rips you in half. Put your legs into space. Jackson's Wolverine's coming back. Are those my legs?

Oh, no. Wolverine finds your legs and accidentally... He doesn't want my legs. No. Not at all. No one wants your legs. Look, it works. I don't think it does.

It's effective. Tusha? My idea it does. It's effective. Dushan? My idea was worse. Oh, boy. Turn X-Mansion into a rocket, shoot it into the sun. How do you turn into a rocket without any of the X-Men noticing? Hi, I'm just Joel Dushan's construction company. Just here to fix the pipes.

We heard you had to complain about plumbing, so we're just going to quickly dig in the perimeter Is that okay Monsieur X-Man You realise I can read your thoughts What X-Men these people are not here To do the plumbing

They are trying to turn the mansion Into a rocket ship Eliminate them. Zap, zap, zap, zap, stab. So you're just a judge and company god. You died. You're lost. Well, maybe I don't start with X-Mansion.

Maybe wherever the Brotherhood hang out. I could trick Magneto. Magneto's not psychic, I guess. Also, just go from underground. I'll go with Mole Man. Of the I lie with Mole Man Let me into your Terranian kingdom Yeah I'm a plumber I'm a plumbers

Yeah we got some problems with your pipes And then you just go underneath the X-Mansion Very quietly Attach rockets Now the problem okay several problems one

the X-Mansion I think extends a lot further underground than you think two um now you've attached rockets

underground like in amongst ground like how do you propel that I just worst case scenario

the rockets explode the X-Mansion blows up. Well, no, but a certain area blows up, not the X-Mansion. Also, like, it's so deep that it's just not going to go anywhere. People might go down to the bottom story and be like, what happened to you? It seems weird. It seems like it blew up, but I don't remember anything. Did you put this on the plumber anyhow?

Wasn't he trying to fix the pipes or something? Nah, he's got to get another one I just remember the idea of you with like Mole man's letting you into subterranean or the Morlocks or whatever And you're like, alright we dig up here and the moment we hit Tink, tink, tink Really? Already? It's this deep?

Oh, this is not going to work Well that's if I'm still digging across And I hit it, I'm like, that's a wall? What? Uh oh, uh oh, new plan. No. Yeah, so that's not a good plan. Oh, okay. Uh huh.

New plan. Yep. Maybe worse, maybe better. Okay. So the X-Mansion goes real deep. So the sun's dangerous, Jim Niles is dangerous to the core of the earth. Rockets on the roof. Go Earth... Rockets on the roof! Go down!

Rockets on the roof! Dig a big hole underneath, they'll never know. And then rockets on the roof, shoot it down. Hi, I'm Zoldyceus Plumbing. We're here to install the rockets on your roof. If you just give us about six to eight months of access, that'd be real good. I had a possible problem.

I'm here to fix the cable. Have you got a satellite dish? That's your problem. You want one of my new rocket dishes. They're real good, and they were very quick and easy to install. Six to eight months? Hang on a second. No, wait. Oh, no. It's the Hang on a second. Boop, boop. No, wait.

Oh, no. It's the rocket people again. Oh, it's the plumbers again. They're shooting us down now. X-Men get them. I really like the idea of Professor Xavier just sitting at his desk as you're like, flick, and he just starts rumbling.

What? What? What? What? What? Looked out the window as the earth goes up past... Oh, no! Wolverine!

Okay, okay. So, now, several problems, Dusha. You've gotten rid of the X-Mansion, not the mutants. Not the X-Men. You now have a smoking crater where people can then use as evidence that the government are cunts. Plumbing mishap. Government, first off,

it's a school. Government ruins a school. Government sent school to center of earth. We do not know why. Couldn't tell you. They had a problem with their satellite dishes.

Had to fix it. It's good now. Great result. Plumbing, pipes all good, cables back. We did it. Dishes construction company, job well good. And even then, that's the ex-manager Are you doing exactly

The same thing As the Brotherhood No I mean like I reckon once you take out Charlie Xavier Do you need your Pipes and or Satellite dishes fixed

You don't have Quite a central Location As Professor X I noticed That's a problem for me But

If you want You can read These recommendations on my website. They show that I'm real good at the fixing of the things. Look at his website. He did it real good by Professor X. He has a direct quote from the man himself. A poorly made HTML Comic Sans website. Douches construction.

It's like spinning. We help you with your pipes and your satellite dishes. And do you need your windows good? I like lists of satellites and it's just rockets and then nothing suspicious and like flashing. Only the good is best. Are you a mutant who needs good satellites? You found the right website.

Perfect. Mutants only. You did it. Mutants only business. Yeah. I'm trying to think how you could do it for individual mutants. And the only thing I can keep coming back to is a rocket hat. Hello, excuse me.

This is looking good on you. Excuse me, Mrs. Mystique. I noticed that your head is very not good with having a hat. Would you like to purchase this hat? Put it on. Beep. This is just squashing me.

Another hat well good, John. Hey, Mr. Blob, I'll put this hat on you. He's not moving. He's not moving. It's gross to imagine the blob's head just going into his chest. And then it just, I don't think it's working. But the sun is out of my eyes. I will keep this out for ball games.

Son's in my eye, but I put on my rocket. Perfect. Perfect. Yeah, nah, not great. Not the best player in the world. You know, you maybe got the X-Mansion.

You're gonna give me the X-Mansion the x well i figure if you do it real quick if you like from space can send down rockets that'll attach themselves to the roof of the x mansion and then aim down yeah aim down potentially maybe maybe but like see i think the mutants are way less of an issue. No, no, wait. Way more of an issue. I was going to be like, way less of an issue without Charles Xavier, because he militarizes the... No, that's Magneto. Also, well... Also Charles.

Yeah, yeah. Definitely Scott. See, my solution would be to give them a place. To be like, all right, what do you want? A camp? No. Not a camp. Like a state.

So you're going to make a mutant state. Yeah. They did that to the... There's a Marvel group they did that to, and it didn't turn out well. Well, you know why it didn't turn out well? Wasn't it the mutant? Because someone sent a giant sentinel and destroyed them.

This was the freaks. There was like a group of freaks that they gave a circus. I remember reading a comic about it, about some mutoids it was a dc comic anyway basically i'd do the genotion thing and be like hey all right you guys want a place for yourself to whatever you'll you know we'll just section off this place this is yours but what about mutants that are born in just every day like if a mutant's born in just every day. Like, if a mutant's born in California, the moment their mutant powers, you know, show up, are you like, all right, you're shipped off to fucking mutant USA.

We'll give them a choice. Ship them off to the, like, mutantville, or wear this collar. Ah! Or this hat. But this collar, which stops you from... Why not just be like Bang Bang 2 on the head? Because I don't want to kill anyone, Jackson.

I know it's a... You're kind of pussyfooting around the idea. Like if you're putting your collar on them, you're... Come on. I'm putting a collar on them so they don't use their power. I'm not killing them, Jackson. Yeah, well, you know. That...

You know. No. We're all kind of... No. Putting a collar on them being like, don't use your power. At least I wasn't a monster. I killed mine in a funny way. What is your defense?

You're putting a collar on them. That's fucked. I'm not killing anyone. This guy's fucked. I'm not killing anybody. You're not putting them in a camp and making them wear collars. You're the last person to do that, who that was? How is putting.

Jackson Bailey. No one's putting anyone in a camp. It's being like, we're going to see a... So you're basically saying you can either be a mutant or a human, really, to them. To be like, look, if you want to... Or give them the option to be like, look, if you want to go in a place where humanity... Can they bring their families? Yeah.

That seems unsafe for their families. Well, that's on them then. This is bad. Basically, just have a government-sanctioned Genosha and be like, that's good. No, this is like being like, all right, we've got gun control in one state, but the control is that there is no control. Just let them loose. Just like everyone's got guns, you can fire it into the air as much as you like.

What about the evil mutants? Well, that's when you give, if you go by the comics, just give, like, make Magneto the king. That's... You're just making a dictatorship that is funded by the government. That's fucked. Hey, Magneto did a pretty good job. You know what I like about it, though?

Now they're all in one place, so you can chuck down your rockets and just send the state into the Sanctuary. So you're not gonna give me a peaceful resolution, I'm assuming? No, no, no, no. All right, fine, fuck it, virus. Yeah, illness. Get that legacy virus, pump that to 11, fuck them all off.

Over the whole world? Yeah. What if the virus mutates? Oh, dang. No. Like to get humans as well? Oh, well, guess we got got. No. Like to get humans as well? Oh, well, I guess we got God.

But hey, guess what else I got? They're mutants. No, that's a sentinel problem again. It's exactly the same thing. That's why my children bombs. Because they just went after mutants. They're not going to go wrong. How about this?

How about this? They're definitely going to go wrong. One's just going to explode in the class one day. No explosion. Nothing fancy. We'll just do it as sneaky the class one day. No explosion. Nothing fancy. We'll just do it as sneaky. We'll poison the water supply. Yeah.

Yeah? So poison the water supply and just be like, you know, get rid of the X gene or whatever. Can we genetically mutate humanity to just no longer produce the X gene? I think so. Or at least suppress that. Or at least be like, what we're do Is we're gonna poison The water supply And make the X-Train there But it's like a Shitty mutant power

Okay You know what I mean So like No optic blast No weather control Just fucked dreams No matter Just stupid silly dreams

Yeah But like Okay What I'm gonna do Is I'm gonna get leech No cause like The issue with poisoning A water supply Is like the way the virus And stuff like to do is I'm going to get Leech. No, because the issue with poisoning a water supply is the way the viruses and stuff like that work is...

I'm going to get Leech. No, let me finish. I'm going to drown him in the water supply. Uh-huh. And leave Leech's body in the water supply. Nullify everyone power. Is that Leech's ability? Yep.

Yeah! Inject Leech blood into everyone. Yeah. If nobody's a mutant, that's good. I just realized I need to get off my high horse because I suggested shooting mutants into the core of the earth with rockets. Yeah, exactly. I was being like, hey, let's do a thing where we can kind of come up to a- No, no peaceful resolution.

You just made jail. Fuck you. You just made a jail, but you also put good guys in there. How do I make a jail? It was giving someone a country. You're giving someone a country and you're like, who's your most brutal dictator? He's in charge.

Good luck. Let me know how it goes. Who's the most brutal member of your group? He rules. Or you could basically try and make them a sovereign state. You'd be like, all right, let's try and make some appeasement here. How do we do it? What's your term?

I don't know why you want to make peace with the mutants, frankly. Shut your mouth for a second. No muti-hate at the moment. I guess that's how Australia was founded. Yeah. Yeah, well, good luck. Then the mutants eventually are like, well, can we re-enter politics? Sure.

Is that what you want? That's us. Yeah. G'day, mate. Oh, bloody hell. Can I just be a politician? Yeah, look, we were prisoners for a bit But is it cool if we jump back in

But yeah Australia was a mistake Should have sunk Australia If you then give Australia Basically to the mutants And you send all the mutants there And after 100 years they're like can we please Peacefully join the UN or whatever?

And you'll say no. They are all nuclear people. Basically, every single one has the potential. That's why you don't give them Australia in the first place. Well, no, because you have to come to a peace resolution. I don't think that's the case. Because if you're now the villain, if they're like, hi,

I was always the villain! We would like to now rejoin the whatever and be part of this whole global world and have a place in among everyone. If you're then denying them, under what reason? Because they're dangerous. Half of them are evil. Half of them are from the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. It's in the name.

So now you've made a whole island nation of very powerful people. You put them on the island. Who have now become a lot more secluded. Yeah. That's on you. They're basically isolationists. That's on your shoulders. Oh, wait.

No, this is real bad. Yeah. Putting them on an island is very, very, very, very bad. Giving them a state is a terrible idea, too. Because you just... No, that's so bad. Because what you're doing is you're putting all these super-powered people in one area and then giving them a reason to hate you and leaving them to themselves.

What do you think is going to happen? Well, the idea there would be to not give them a reason to hate you. You've put them on a fucking island! Well, I haven't put them on an island. You guys are putting words in my mouth. Hi, Kate. So, look, there's a mutant island. All right, but the idea would be like,

okay, who's the leaders of the mutants at this point in time? Charles Xavier. Charles Xavier. Magneto. John F. Magneto. John F. Magneto. I'd be like, John, Charles,

I'm going to sit here. All right, you can be Magneto. You'm going to be like, John, Charles, I'm going to sit here. All right, you can be Magneto, you can be Charles. All right. What do you guys want? There you go. There's a problem here. Look. What's the problem?

The problem is, of course, I don't want to call it a mutant problem because that's- I think we have a human problem. Charles, that's my line. I was like, we have an issue where there's a lot of tensions. Right. Things are not doing well People are like You guys can shoot optic blasts from your face

Well I can't Not me specifically but I know a guy who can You have guns Yes but you can stop guns real easy I can My good friend Charles Yeah but he can make me forget I'm a man And make me think I'm a dog and make me think I'm a dog.

I make several people think they're lizards every day. See? So everyone's a bit stressed. And I feel what would be an amicable solution? That everyone is happy and no one is afraid that just because someone next door sneezes that they'll die because he shot his face off with an optic blast. I think just accepting that we are the superior race. Done. I say we all interbreed.

Also done. Big old sexy party, you know? Done. Cheese in a bowl, but for the planet. Done. Everyone's a mutant, then no one's a mutant, you know? Xavier, somehow mutants work, you you know that I don't know Jack don't tell me what I do and don't know you gave a whole conference about that

I do a lot of things I don't know the whole speech I'm basing this complete dossier on your evidence I I'm high like 60-70% of my life. Alright? I don't know what's going on. I'm on up as down as... Life's a mess. John! Yes? What can humanity do? Well, I think you could just

surrender to us and bow down to your leaders. Okay, and then we've surrendered, yes? Because you are the superior force. Now what? Nothing. That's fine. That's perfect. That's the end of it, I guess. That's, I mean, we're the rulers now. Yeah, well, what are you going to do?

Ruling us? Good luck? What are you doing? No, I mean, the same way you do, except you don't get to vote. So we let you vote. No, but I mean, you wouldn't let us run for government, though. Yeah, you can run for government. Well, then I guess nothing changes.

Perfect. Why am I guess nothing changes. Perfect. Why am I angry all the time? What's your end goal, Magnus? My end goal is for humans to just know that we're the next step in evolution. Alright, accept it. Done. That's why I wanted us all to interbreed. I'm like, whatever. You know what?

You can move metal with your mind. I can't. That's fine. I get it. You're better than You can move metal with your mind. I can't. That's fine. I get it. You're better than me. Big whoop. Feel like a big man now? Yeah? You feel good? I wouldn't take that if I was you, Magneto.

John, I mean. Charlie, we're all friends here. I get it. Yes, we're ants to you. Is that what you want to hear? I mean, yes. You're good then. I'll bully for you.

This man seems very angry. Now what? I wish he'd calm down. I'm on edge. What's your suggestion? Well, I was simply saying that, well, there's a problem here. Everyone is on edge. Everyone is, like, afraid of someone else.

But they shouldn't be. Well, unfortunately, the problem is. The only reason we attack is because you attack us. We're like a scared animal. Okay. Sometimes we attack the mole men. There's a lot going on, you know. It's not just humans and mutants.

There's other guys around. You're called the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. That's true, man. You just stole warheads for no reason. Just because we had them. Do you think it's weird you don't have, like, a house? No, like, I've got the mansion, so we just, like, chill there or whatever. Don't you think it's weird you hang out at a school?

How old are you? Like, fucking 70? Yes, I'm the principal of the school. I'm not going there. You live there. Well, it's also my house, yes. Don't you think that's weird? What, do you live in an apartment? Why do you live... Yes.

I live with my family. At least John makes his... Don't you... Who are you? This is a private discussion between me and John. At least John lets his people dress up normally. You make them in skin-tight outfits revealing a lot of stuff. What's with the third degree?

Why am I all of a sudden on trial here? At least mine's a job. I get to go home every night. Mine's an actual job. Who pays you? No one. What's your job title, John? Come on. You did steal

a lot of Nazi gold. That's what's funding you. The head of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. Is that what you put down in the census? Yes. John F. Magneto. Profession. Leader of a Brotherhood. Not a job.

Not a job. Just saying. Anyway, I think we're done here. So what's the solution? Nothing. I mean, everything's good as it is. Well, no. Me and Charles still have beef.

Yes, we will fight. We will fight publicly. And you'll cop it. Yeah. Because we're better than you. Yes. What's your solution? Get much of our hay, do you?

Yeah. We'll give you guys an island. Let's team up and destroy humanity from the island. Yes, that sounds like a good idea. How dare they just dump us on an island somewhere? We're not dumping... You know I was a survivor of World War II, yeah? So, uh, isolation is

a very touchy subject to me. Okay, I get it. You wanna give us barcodes? No. Collars. A giant island is very different from a fucking camp. Like, just in size alone. He's sort of just dumping us somewhere, just putting us on an island.

I'm not. Look, you can pick. What's the other choice? Not about that. Why are you making the decision? Why don't you go to the island? Because there's a lot less of you than there are of us. Why don't humans go to the island?

I say we make an island for the humans and an island for the X-Men. That's what I'm proposing. But our island's bigger. Fine! We get the planet. You get like, I don't know. Australia. Yeah. Nothing good's happened there. It's too hot. It's too hot and it's too dry and it's too boring.

Fine, you know what? I'm gonna get every single human, we're gonna get up, and we're gonna walk. Into the ocean. We're gonna walk into the ocean. You know what? That's a good idea. That wasn't hard, was it? Alright, okay, fuck it. we're gonna walk into your you know what that's a good idea that wasn't hard was it all right okay fuck it we're gonna go to mexico you can have the u.s done we'll go to mexico or canada sounds good is that what you want no because that's exactly what i was fucking proposing with an island you were going to put us in like hawaii or something and it was going to be

very crowded everyone's going to get very angry How many mutants do you think there are? Not many. Like fucking tons. Not bloody many. I look around the school and I'm like... Why has your accent changed? Who are you? How many mutants are there in this school?

Who's that guy, I say? Never seen your face before, but I don't want to ask. Because, you know, maybe we've spoken and I'm meant to know his name, but there's so many of them My entire brotherhood of mutants. Yeah That's a hundred percent 50 guys And you want all of America for this I wanted all of the world about like you Australia Yeah, all of the world, you know, you can have like one person per country. That's good. Why are you restricting our freedoms?

Who do you think you are? We're citizens, you know. I fought for you in the war. I don't know if you did. I survived the war for you. There have been wars he fought in. Yeah, sure. I put a coin in a man's head.

You did. That was not great. How about a landmass? So you want a landmass? No. We'd like the same freedoms as human beings, please. That seems fair. That seems very fair. Don't know why you're trying to restrict that.

I'm not trying to restrict that. You have the problem of not asking. We have quite a good time. I'm enjoying myself. You seem to be fighting each other every fucking Sunday. Well, that's personal beef. That's different. Yeah, don't worry about it. Okay, how about this? We're old friends, you know.

How about this? I'll give you guys a stadium. Okay? Yeah. Every Sunday you can go in there and fight it out. As long as you keep the fight within the stadium. It's not going to be very entertaining to watch. I'm an old man. Like, we don't care about watching it. It's just as long as it's off the streets.

We'll call it Mutant Bowl every Sunday. This feels like exploitation. You guys can sell tickets. I don't fucking care. Stop fighting in our streets. But what about your guns? What about it? Are they restricted to be used solely in a stadium?

Human dome, we could call it. Every Saturday, they watch humans shoot each other. Yes, every Saturday, all of the angry world leaders gather together to have a big old fight in an arena. But the problem, John, Charles, the problem here is you guys are going to be fighting anyway. So we will have wars all the time. I see it.

Street violence is a very big problem in all of humanity. Yeah. Laws are singling us out. That's how I feel. Yes, yes. But street violence with guns, yes, some innocent bystanders might get shot. And yes, there might be very small, very small, tiny bits of collateral damage. Very small as in like children, like school shootings?

They happen. Yes, but... Mutants never do that. No mutant has ever shot a school. Sorry. One of you costume dickheads decided to stop another costume dickhead, and he blew up. You know what was in the vicinity of that costume dickhead?

A fucking school! Yeah, but there was no guns involved. No! That's my point! Because you costume dickheads. I don't like this man's tone. Sorry. I don't like this man. I might make him think he's a lizard. Carry on. This has been

quite a while out of my day. He's going to think he's a lizard for four weeks. For every minute of his hour time he's wasted, that'll be four weeks as a lizard for him. Yes. Alright, we're lasting around, John. Good to see you. I'll see you next Sunday.

Yes. Where we fight on the streets. Yes. Have a little street tiff. And suddenly the Sentinel seemed like a really good idea. I don't know why you thought to invite us to a meeting. It's bad. It's just like you didn't there was no good news for us. What did you know why you thought to invite us to a meeting. It's madness. Because, like, you didn't, there was no good news for us.

Of course, what did you think they were going to say? Yeah, actually, an island sounds good. That's great. Yeah, please just put us all on an island. You know what's better? Shooting us into the sun. Magneto accepted that. He accepted it, but then he thought about it and decided it wasn't for him.

In comic history, Magneto accepted the Genosian island Well he was stupid What do you guys actually want And he's like well we want basically a place for us to be safe A sanctuary for us And the sentinels attacked it And then how did Magneto feel about that Well not great because the sentinels attacked it So you're saying that if there was an island of mutants

And humanity was told that if you were a mutant You got sent to an island You didn't get sent to an island You're using extremes this is like here is a landmass an island nation that's run by mutants for mutants that's basically a mutant utopia as it were

but then the problem then becomes well what do you do with the people who are mutants that are born on the mainland what do you do with the people who are like I don't want to live on an island full of mutants I want to be a normal person what do you do with a problem like Maria what do you do with a problem like Maria put her on an island then you gotta be like well of mutants. I want to be a normal person. What do you do with a problem like Maria? Exactly. What do you do with a problem like Maria? Fuck, man, I don't even know. Put her on an island.

Then you've got to be like, well, I guess everything has to be case by case situation to be like, well, how dangerous are you to the public? Yeah, well, sit in that's arse, get rid of them all. Your reason is like paperwork. Jackson is like, Jackson personally attends every birth in the world.

They get a mutant test on the day and then if they're a mutant, blap personally attends every birth in the world. They get a mutant test on the day and then if they're a mutant, blop blop to in the brain. So it's like bureaucracy, the just... Well it's just never ending with your solution. My solution is nip it in the bud with like a virus or a ray gun or whatever.

They're all gone, everyone has to stop worrying and then you pick off the Avengers or whatever. So now we're fighting the Avengers Everyone has to stop worrying. And then you pick off the Avengers or whatever. So now we're fighting the Avengers. Well, I always am. Because they're also a problem. Mine's just like an accident of shoddy plumbing. All right.

All right. All right. You know what I'm going to do? What are you going to do? I'm going to try and get... So like a virus, but just turn us all into mutants. Yeah, that's fine too. So get the water supply

and there's gotta be someone out there that like... Get just whatever, whoever the most powerful mutant is. Yeah. Apocalypse? Yeah. Actually, yeah, apocalypse blood. Slit apocalypse's throat, just shake his head around in the water supply. He killed an apocalypse, so I guess no one's gonna really have an issue with that. Apocalypse might. He'll come back from that, he's powerful.

Or, fuck it, get some techno-organic virus. Yeah. And inject that into the water supply. Everyone's a little bit of a robot man. I think we'd all be happier if we weren't mutants, to be honest. I think being a mutant's a struggle. It's a hassle.

If everyone's a human, everyone's happy. Can I go to space? Yeah. Cool. Are you just like... No, no, no, no. Wash your hands of the situation? I'm going to space.

I'm going to hang out with the Kree. Fuck this. And go to the phalanx. Yeah. And be like, wash your hands of the situation? I'm going to space. I'm going to hang out with the Kree. Fuck this. And go to the phalanx. Yeah. And be like, get them. Who are they? And point at Earth. Oh, you're getting all of us.

Yeah. Because then we're all part of the techno-organic phalanx people. Yeah. Yeah. I like that you started trying to be the most reasonable, and now you've just caused the biggest genocide. Yes. But not really, because we're all technic-organic.

Hey, if I drink Franklin Richards' blood, can I change reality? Maybe. Probably not. I'm going to say yes. I drink Franklin Richards' blood. Make everyone human. Actually, wait. I can just chat to Franklin Richards and be like,

Franklin. I hope you get nullified. Frankie boy. Frankie boy. Frankie boy. Nullified instantly. Hey, did we know a man named Joel Zalman? What? Huh?

Why don't you? Sorry, what? Who? My ears are real bad from all that plumbing I've been done. Do you need your pipes done? I'm real good at them. Franklin, is your daddy home? Franklin, good.

Put this hat on. Wait, Franklin. Make everyone like your mom and dad. Yeah. Make everyone powered. Bang. Franklin, make everyone just human. Wouldn't it be nice if your dad wasn't always in space

oh no isn't that fucking arse ache you know why he's in space because he's a mutant he's got powers that's garbage mate Frankie boy Frankie boy Frankie Frank Frank

your dad is not a mutant what is happening I'm like 8 or some shit your dad's basically a mutant he's not a mutant he What is happening? I'm like eight or some shit. Your dad's basically a mutant. He's not a mutant. He's basically here. He got powers through Cosmic Breath. Guys, you know how fucking weird this is? I'm an eight-year-old kid just sitting in my room playing cards and two grown men, but what? Hey, don't tell your parents we're here.

Alright, deal. I climbed a pipe to get in. Oh, okay. Welcome, mum. I'm one of Johnny Storm's mates. It's fine. I'm Franklin. My friends call me Frankie boy. Yes. Frankie boy. Look.

Yes. Hey. My friends. Sorry. Franklin Reed Richards. Yes. Close. Yeah.

Your dad's basically mutant. Says your mom and says you. I'll keep Ben. Dad's fucking stretchy and mom's fucking invisible and Ben and I don't like to talk about him. Yeah. But doesn't it bug you how they're always going and doing fighting, guys? I'm eight. Do you know what the best thing in my life is?

What? When my parents fuck off. So wouldn't it be really cool- Would you like some pornography for a deal? I'll give you some- Are you offering an eight-year-old pornography? He's a monster. I'm going to get Herbie and get him out of here.

Every kid wants porn. Not at eight. Not at eight. I don't even know what my dick is. I was too early. Damn. Come back in eight years? Eighteen or something. Never mind.

Would you like, if everyone fucked up then? No, that's boring. Just mum and dad. What if some people? What if everyone was a mutant? Hey, it's Megan. You want a truck? Like a toy truck. Oh, actually.

A Tonka. We can get you three Tonkas. Yeah. I can get you four if you just make everyone not a mutant. I'll give you 15 because then you've got to

change yourself as well and you want to change yourself. That's too many trucks. You can stay you. I don't care. No, but like if Yes, he does. The moment he makes

everyone human he's going to kill you. You don't know that. I'm going to nullify this guy, I reckon. It's nice that I am chatting to you as I've always been because no one else was ever here. How am I meant to explain to my parents that I all of a sudden

have 15 new trucks? Alright, maybe we'll give you... What would you like to make everyone a mutant? I don't know. I haven't thought about it. I just don't like doing things. I'm eight. I just want to play with my friends. Friends, look.

Can I have a son in this situation for you to play with? You can create me a son so you can play with. Side note, this is Joe Dusha speaking. You just offered up your son for potentially a sacrifice to hang out with a boy that you know can nullify people.

Yep. So it's sacrifice that I... The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. And if Franklin is creating a son for me that I can be like a playmate for, that son never really existed. It sort of sounds like Sam is asking franklin to work to make to at least he's not offering an eight-year-old pornography jackson hey look i'm happy here in nullifyville

that's you know the best part about being nullified no goddamn mutants so uh yeah nothing you don't exist so uh if you could just make everyone a mutant why that'd be good so then there's no fighting. So then maybe your parents don't have to spend so much time fighting people that are trying to kill everybody. Did you not listen to a fucking word I said? I like when my parents go to space. Yeah, but now they're going to be time and money to go in their lab and chuff off to space. Their lab's in our house.

They're checking me all the time. But if there's no problems on Earth, your dad's a... He always wants to be... He's like a shark. he's always got to keep moving He'll start thinking of things And if the world is fine he'll go to space So if everyone is a mutant That's kind of

That sounds like Look I'm not a clever boy Well I mean I am for an 8 year old But you know what I mean I don't have the intelligence of a man But I'm pretty clever for an 8 year old Glad you follow Spot on Frankie I'm not, I don't have the intelligence of a man But I'm pretty clever for an 8 year old Yes Glad you follow

Spot on Frankie I got this Frankie So what you're telling me is that If everyone's a mutant Dad's gonna be like oh yeah Seek one, fucking earth's fine I don't think that's the case at all You want your dad to be here

Yeah So like if everyone on earth is a mutant that's probably going to be hassles for your dad yeah you fucking be bringing cons here all the time you might not be he might be in the field all the time he better be so if everyone was gone who's that sorry i can't hear anything it's like a white noise i hate it here in nullifyville Sorry I'm just gonna I'm pretty sure me as Franklin remembers people I nullified Thanks man I was fucked not existing for a bit

I was happy So if everyone's human guess where your dad's gonna go for trouble Space There's nothing on earth for him But if everyone's human that Guess where your dad's going to go for trouble? Space. No, he's not. There's nothing on earth for him. But if everyone's human, that includes your dad. Yeah. What if I kill your dad?

I'll just shoot him in the head. Make him human. Shoot him in the head. You never have to worry about your dad again. Eh? Eh? I mean, I like when dad's not here. I don't know if I want him

He's not here forever I'll kidnap him You can have him when you want him Yeah Work together You just gotta make everyone human So you're gonna side with the person Once your father's dead

Or kidnapped It's honestly doesn't matter to me What state he's in He's mean he's always telling me off he's mean isn't he how about he's real stretchy

how about this you make everyone a mutant I'll go talk to Reid for you oh yeah he's making promises I'm making

better ones he wants to kill your dad you're eight you love your father as much as you don't want him around you love

I do love dad he yells at you all the time What a piece of shit What did you fucking say? I think back to nullify Bill with this dickhead What about mom? Yeah I saw too

What? No I love mom Yeah she's alive She's lovely He was prepared to kill her Straight off the bat Yeah that's bad You're a bad man

Yeah? Yeah Spot on Frankie Frankie. I think Franklin at this point probably just nullifies both of you. I'm sick of this. It's boring. Oh, mate. Go away. Let me play with my trucks.

He turns us into trucks. Reed's coming. Hey, when did I get you two brand new trucks? I got faces on them, Dad. Check it out. Help. The sun out. Help. The sun's a monster. And the other truck's a monster. Look, Dad, I'll crash them into each other.

Please. I'll kill your dad for you. Bring me back. See, I don't think your plan's going to work. I don't think any of our plan's going to work. I think Sentinels might actually be the best option i still think my plan from the very first mutant episode was the ideal one just nullify their powers big old virus nullify their powers nobody has powers anymore good if nobody's super we all are yeah exactly that's not true i think the legacy

virus make sure that doesn't get cured yeah get rid of everyone's mutant powers it's just our sake i think just trust kill them all fuck trusting a virus though is like a hard thing because they virus mutate

and whatever so it wouldn't take long for humans to eat shit too death squads then probably not at what cost yeah I don't really understand

the phrase and on that note I've been Joel I've been Jackson and I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. That was a lot of characters in one episode. It was.

It was heavy. It was good. Franklin's rude. It was dense. It was dense. Franklin swears a lot for a child. I like that.

That was intentional. It was a good character trait. Yeah. Bye. Thanks for listening. And if you want to follow us on Twitter you can find us at Sandspants Radio

or you can find us individually I'm at Douche13 I'm at OldDogsOfDead and I'm at GodDammitZammit If you want to hear our other shows you can head to SandspantsRadio.com and you'll find all our other content there There's heaps!

And if you want to support us head to SandspantsPlus.com Thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time Goodnight for now but not forever kisses