Plumbing the Death Star - Why Doesn't Wonder Woman Own a TV?

Episode Date: January 31, 2021

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Sants Pants Radio, Australia's most cowardly podcast network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions. And this one's big. The other ones, every other question we've done. Little, tiny, minuscule, make me sick to think about. This one, we're proud of. Anyway, what I was about to ask is is why doesn't Wonder Woman own a TV Wonder Woman 1984

we've all seen Wonder Woman 1984 yeah absolutely, classic film. Yeah, absolutely. From start to finish. Greatest film of the year. From the moment she does the medieval ancient Roman wipeout. God, it was like a wipeout. No, it had a horse. It's wipeout with a horse. Which would be an awesome show to watch. Maybe that's why it's at the start of the movie.

You know that wall in Wipeout where the big boxing gloves come out yeah it's all punching a horse oh okay both are good um to the very end it's the greatest film but there's a very important scene that we're all thinking of that yeah i'm assuming everybody watching when this happened throws for a look they did the uh classic uh the amazing spider-man 2 scene where uh aunt may's like we don't have a chimney, and Andrew Garfield's wife goes, what? The greatest film in cinema. I mean, well, yes. Yeah, yeah. Had to think about it for a brief moment, but yeah, it is.

Just in case this is glossed over your brain for some crazy reason, like a brush with basting a turkey. It's just going straight over the top yeah smoothed it out uh the scene where diana slash wonder woman she's diana at this point yeah i mean she's you know she's always diana yeah you know what i mean yeah she's not in costume and everyone's just like it's a normal person it's maxwell lord who is later revealed to be the villain of the film he's like he, he goes, life's good, but it could be better.

I'm from television. He's the TV admin. Excuse me, I don't have a television. Really smugly. Really, really smugly. Let me tell you, I heard that line, robbed me all sorts of the wrong ways. I've been fuming ever since. Like a cat that you don't know and somebody's

got from tail to head in the wrong direction. Douches and hackles are up in the wrong direction. Douche's hackles are up, my hackles are up, why doesn't she have a television? Why is she on a TV and why is she so smug about it? I mean, I get it. Look, it's the 80s. TV wasn't exactly great, but it's pretty good. Maxwell Lord, who

obviously is being a smug piece of shit back and look, yeah, he sounds like a fucking idiot when he says this, but it's an 80s reference as well. So well done, everyone involved. He's like, no TV, don't worry about it. I got a perfect 19-inch television I can give to you. And she's like, no, I think I prefer my no TV.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, here's what's important about this scene. So turn down a free TV, which is crazy. Yeah, but here's what's important. She didn't flip that. Yeah, flip that, sell it for a higher price. Yeah, she didn't even want it. Because even if she sold it for $10,

that's money. That's profit, Wonder Woman, you moron. She said, that's money for jam. That's money for jam. Wonder Woman needs money to buy jam. We all need money to buy jam. Jam's not free, unless you pick it off a tree and make it yourself. But then the ingredients you need to put into it,

it's not free. What I was going to say. I live with someone that made a jar of jam. It cost her $20. That's a lot for jam. It was good jam though. What I was going to say. What were you saying?

It's a phrase, money for jam. You ever heard money for jam? Yeah. Shut up. I'm not interested in what you have to say at the moment. I'm interested in what he has to say. Jackson,

what are you saying? What's notable. Okay. Is that, is that Maxwell Lord, in that scene, and Wonder Woman has just learned this, has bought, has donated...

Has bought, has donated. Two very different things. Maybe I do care what someone's got to say, because you've lost me now, too. Bought or donated? He's donated, I think, a great deal of money to the museum, right? Yeah.

So Wonder Woman... Should be nicer to him at that point. Well, she has no reason to be rude to him whatsoever. Because she works to the museum, right? Yeah. So Wonder Woman- Should be nicer to him at that point. Well, she has no reason to be rude to him whatsoever. Because she works for the museum. At the museum. The museum is something she evidently or we assume. Cares about. But maybe she doesn't.

Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she doesn't care about anything. Well, then again, it's a museum, so it's all digging up old shit. But it's kind of like, you know, it's that my culture you're sort of, you know, digging up and ruining. Yeah. And also, Wonder Woman, let's not forget, is basically immortal, right? And so if you're immortal, you're living for such a long time that a human being is like a dog to you. You don't care if it dies.

It doesn't matter. No one's ever been sad about a dead dog. No one's ever been sad. So, you know, your family dog's dead and you're like, yay! No, no, no. You don't celebrate. Nothing changes. Dog gets hit by a car, you're like yay no no no you don't celebrate you just nothing changes

dog gets hit by a car you're like well I'm living longer one day you wake up and then the next day you wake up again but your dog's dead and it's the same day

same day same day but maybe Wonder Woman doesn't care about the department because she's like all of these people's lives are meaningless

it's just weird to if you work for somewhere and I understand that jobs, you can hate the job you have. Yes. And in that situation. Just gloss over the insanity of it, all right.

I'm focusing, I'm moving past it. I don't want to get bogged down. This is very, we need to get to the bottom of this and quick. Exactly. Fucking Wonder Woman's there, she's like,

you're all fucking ants to me. That's why at the end of the movie, she fights her hard for humanity because she doesn't care about it. When Maxwell Lord's like, you know, that Wonder Woman should put the lousy around him and be like,

hey, Wonder Woman here, just saying, I also don't care. Do what you like. You are all literally beneath me. I am an immortal. You are like dogs. If you died,

I wouldn't care. I see you like dogs. You are like dogs to me. I am Wonder Woman. Why didn't she just say, I wish you would stop this? Anyway. So what we're here to discuss is why doesn't she have a television? Right.

And if you have a job and someone that is a big benefactor to your job comes in, you have to be nice. It's part of the job. You don't have to suck up to them. You're just polite. Yeah, be polite. But she's not. She's so rude.

She's sus. She's got a little bit of a gut feeling and that's it look she's right so she shouldn't have been nice but i guess she also should have been nice yeah well it's you just it's you don't have to be nice you just have to be like oh sorry i don't own a television yeah and he can be because she's not smug about the fact that maxwell lord is a television personality what wonder woman is for some reason smug about is the fact that she doesn't own a television. It's not got anything to do with Maxwell Lord, really. And then in the end how does she get her news? Great question. I guess she reads the newspaper. In 1984

she reads the newspaper. Don't be ridiculous. She reads the newspaper with a coffee and a very fancy outfit. Or is she like listening to the wireless? A cigarette. Big stogie. A paper. And a glass of whiskey. Yeah, yeah.

That's how Wonder Woman gets her news. Again, would she listen to the wireless? Presumably. I mean, I guess she's got to find out. So in the beginning of the film, she stops an attempted heist, and she must have found out about that somehow. Police scanner. Yeah, true.

Police scanner. And that also is the first indication we get that she hates television for some reason, because security cameras breaks them. Yeah, well I assume that was just... Does she think that the security camera is TV? Does she not realise that that's a security camera?

Or is she just like, ah, the security camera will go on a TV and I hate that. Oh no, the press! Because here's another take, and here's another possibility. Wonder Woman isn't smug she's defensive because she doesn't know how tv works and so her whole strategy is to act like oh i don't own a tv but it's fear because she doesn't want to get into a conversation about television where she obviously outs herself for someone who has no idea what the fuck is going on you could

i think you might be on the money like if she's like they're talking about someone's like yeah i got a tv and she's like aren't you scared of being on it? And they're like what? Well are you scared Like one day you'll turn it on And you'll see yourself No I'm not Diana What if you know

You turn the channel And it stays that way Yeah What if you invite them in Invite who in? What are you saying Diana? Well the people on the On the

Because you know I see I see the little people On the screen And what if they come out Towards me How do they How do they do that? One woman's just afraid Because, you know, I see the little people on the screen. And what if they come out towards me? How do they do that? One woman's just afraid of professing such ignorance.

How do they put the little man inside the box? Because, let's see, so she was, how old is Diana? Well, we don't know. She was a child in Greece. She's an adult come World War I. And World War I, they don't know she was a child in greece yep she's an adult come world war one and world war one they don't have tv they only have radio and in world war one she's like and then she's like a she's like an adult but she's like a like a like you get the vibe that she's in her early 20s and then so then she's like i love a man he die i don't want to be part of world and then so i guess she doesn't for a bit and that's when tv happens yeah she's like, I love a man, he die, I don't want to be part of world. And then so I guess she doesn't for a bit.

And that's when TV happens. Everyone's like, fucking TV is good. How great is that? And then she comes back and everyone's like, TV. And she's like, oh, none of this. But when she's like, I'm done for, she doesn't like become a hermit. She just is like, I'm not going to involve myself in world politics anymore, right? She's not like, I'm taking to the woods like a bear man.

TV was invented in 1927, apparently, so she might be aware. Yeah, she would know of TV. Maybe Wonder Woman, and this is another possibility, and I guess ties into my ignorance theory, she just fears that level of change, you know what I mean? She doesn't want to learn anything new. Australia didn't get TV until 1956. We just watched Kangaroos.

Oh, look at that one! Oh, blimey! She's a beauty! Christ, Dave! That is a kangaroo! Jacko, that's the biggest fucking roo I've ever seen! Oh, shit! There's a bigger one!

Check this out, fellas. We call it the television, and the people are like, I don't see how that could be better than a kangaroo. But I'll give it a go. Then Neighbours happens. Fuck yeah! Much better. Huey or whatever he is,

they're such good Neighbours. Our kind. Okay, look. So first TV, so yeah, we're looking at like, yeah, 46, 47. Okay.

So she was like her prime active moment in World War I. Yeah, she guess wouldn't have come across a television. No. And then she was, well, what did she do from like World War I to the 80s? Well, at some point she got a job at the, she got a degree because she says, she talks about the degree she had in Wonder Woman 84. So presumably she got a degree, which is, you know, say 10 years of her life, theoretically.

She's quite... If it's like a full-on degree, it could even be 15, possibly. Or four. Or four. I don't think she has a bachelor's. Bachelor of museum. You know, a bomb.

She's got a bomb, dude. Bachelor of museum. I've finished my... Wonder Woman just not knowing. I got a four-year bomb. Bachelor of Museum. What? Wonder Woman?

A bomb. But yeah. So I studied for four years in museumology. And that's why I work at this museum. Excuse me? But I think she says to Minerva mcgonigal or whatever that she has multiple degrees so that's theoretically 10 years each say maybe 15 years so that could take up a lot of time hey can i like the reason why theoretically it's a double degree three to

four years or just two bombs two bombs back to back baby that was good i'll do it again what happens if you do that they're like are you for real you've already got these credits i guess Back to back, baby. Hey, that was good. I'll do it again. What happens if you do that? They're like, are you for real? You've already got these credits. I guess you're paying a student loan. But imagine how good that would be to hold up two of the same degrees for separate universities. I think they ask you, really?

And then if you say yes, they turn to somebody else in the office and they're like, this sucker's doing it twice. And then they let you do it. And then they let you do it. And then you come back a third time. Hey, as in a song. Sir, you've had enough. You're cut off.

And aside to this or the episode? Both. So Diana works in a museum. Everyone, that'll make sense because she was in ancient times. And so she must know all these things. But say if you transported me from now into, like, say 100 years or, like, 1,500 years into the future and someone was like, hey, do you know this thing from Australia?

It would have been around about the 1990s. I would have been like, no. Yeah, you'd be like, I have no idea what the fuck that is. What are you showing me? Do you remember kangaroos? I know two things about kangaroos and Huey or whatever. I don't know. I feel like if I went forward.

What's that guy's name from Neighbours Not Toadfish, the old guy? I think it is Huey. It's not Huey. Why Huey? Which one? Are you thinking of Al? He's from Home and Away. No, no, no.

Which one? It might just be Hugh. It might be Hugh. Harold. Harold! He plays a trumpet. Yeah. He's the best neighbour It might be Hugh. Harold. Harold! He plays a trumpet. Yeah. Yeah, there we go.

He's the best neighbour. Trombone. No. Who has that? Trumpet? No, I don't know. I know it's brass. There's a weasel guy that looks like he should be in Desperate Housewives.

I hate that man. Anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the guy you mean. Yeah. But I don't know. I think if you put me forward 70 years and you showed me like an iPhone from now, I'd know it was an iphone yeah you know

what i mean i wouldn't know what maybe what kind it was but i feel like i'd have a it's hard to figure out though because wonder woman's just looking like check also this is an iphone i'm holding up what kind of iphone is this i don't know what's the latest one it's not the way i can't ask that it's 70 you've been dead for years. To be honest, I don't even know what iPhone I currently have. But that's why she did her degrees. So she does have an education. But then again, though, she's been alive. She hasn't been transported.

She's just been alive for that long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, here's the question, though, is how long has she been at the museum and when is she thinking of leaving? Because she will not age. So this is, again, spiralling out of why she doesn't have a TV. What is she doing in BVS? Is she working?

No, she lives. See, I'm confused. Well, in Wonder Woman. Wait, isn't she still working at the museum? I think she is. That museum scene, though, is that in Wonder Woman or BVS? I think it's in Wonder Woman, but that takes place When Dr. Bruce

Why do I call him Dr. Bruce? He did a double bomb, you don't know When Bruce Wayne goes and he's like Hey, here's a photo or whatever Is that BVS or is that Wonder Woman? That's BVS, when he shows her the photo of her from the past Yeah, and it's in a briefcase But then at the end she jumps...

No, that's not BVS. That's definitely Wonder Woman. But maybe she's working in the museum at that point. Maybe she's moved to a different museum. She's like, why'd you... But, I mean, this brings us on to an interesting point in some exam that I know you've wanted to discuss for years. Yes, yes.

And I think this ties into the fact that Wonder Woman doesn't have a TV is that in BVS we have that wonderful scene with Wonder Woman on the computer. Yeah. And it's very clear Wonder Woman doesn't have a TV is that in BVS, we have that wonderful scene with Wonder Woman on the computer. And it's very clear Wonder Woman doesn't really know how to use a computer at all. She's like, oh no, Lex Luthor has a photograph of me back in the World War times and I want it back. So she tries to steal the file and she succeeds

in quotation marks by going there, putting on a USB stick. Smug as shit, may I just say. Yeah, very true. Not realising that she's just copied over a file. Yeah, she's copy and pasted. Wonder Woman. Is that a plot point? Yeah.

That's what he's like. Wait, did they acknowledge that she did it, Dom? I can't remember. No. It's just she doesn't seem to know. She thinks she did it. She's like, I did it. Yeah, she doesn't seem to know what.

And then someone sends her an email and then it's just a constant scroll. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She reads email wrong. Yeah. But maybe that's just like a weird side effect of. Being an immortal? Yeah. Maybe if you're immortal, you're going to stop.

Okay. Say you lived forever. No. Okay. Both of you, I've given you. I'm a cruel genie. And I, not as a wish, but as a curse, have made it so that it's like, I wish Shadai young, aha!

If only he'll live forever, wish granted. Gotcha! No, we're only one generation away from being out of touch with technology. Exactly, yeah, yeah. Like, easy, because like TikTok, we, I'm like, I don't really use it, but like, I can. I understand the concept. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, I don't really use it, but like I can. I understand the concept. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And like, I have the app and whatever, but I reckon I'm one app away. Yeah, and that's what I mean. So say I granted you both. Maybe two, only because I do Twitch, so that's had to make me connected to the mainstream. Yeah, yeah, but you gotta put in the effort, which is the trick.

So if you're immortal, you're living for another hundred years. At a certain point and and this is a good gauge what point do you stop getting the new video game console like at what point are you like i'm i'm checking out uh due to the speed at which i can pre-order these days apparently ps5 i do not have one and i wish that that was not the case yeah like i think there'll be a point where i'm like i just can't be. But then also, you've got so much time to kill. Why not?

Because you're old. All you're going to be doing is sitting there and shitting your pants. You might as well play the PS7 or whatever. You're two PlayStations away from being geriatric. But you're like Wonder Woman at this point. So you're muscle-bound Adonises. Yeah. Do I have to work out to maintain that, or is that just God magic?

Actually, you're just lucky. It seems like she likes working out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably both. Yeah. Same as, I don't know, I had no superheroes there, not Batman. Batman, he loved CrossFit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Flash? No, Flash isn't really in shape. That would be the ideal power. One of those ones I didn't have to also be muscly for. Like if I could become a wolf or something. Unless the wolf is also out of shape. That would be the ideal power. One of those ones I didn't have to also be muscly for. Like if I could become a wolf or something. Unless the wolf is also out of shape. It's closely

trimmed. Your poor diet and lifestyle choice transferring over to when you're a wolf. Man, a wolf is not meant to have that many cheeseburgers or just that much cheese in general. I like to see a wolf is not meant to have that many cheeseburgers or just that much cheese in general. I like to see a wolf dragging its belly on the ground.

I can't digest this. Running a bit, stopping, panting, and then drinking from the sea. I'm like, that won't quench your thirst. I need the salt. I'm dying of dehydration. Change back. No. No, it's good. You imagine you're on like a bluff and I'm quite. Dehydrated. Change back. No. No, it's good.

You're imagining you're on like a bluff and I'm quite far down this. Whatever you're going to throw up. Shut up. Whatever you were chasing is so gone now. Just come back. Slowly getting into the back of a U. Drive. I'm just going to roll over.

Your heartbeat is so fast. You're so hot. Change back. And I change back and throw up because I'm a man now The seawater This power I regret getting it And now a quick word from our sponsors Also, did you know

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What about this for a theory? Okay, maybe Wonder Woman's just a cunt, you know? Maybe she's just a piece of shit, and this whole time she's just like, she's just rude. She's just rude. It's not only that she's rude. It could also be like forced ignorance only in the sense of like, if you're a superhero, which she is,

but I know that she is like all over the shop with how active she is, but you need to pay attention to at least like general events. And in like in 2020, sure. Like we can get in 2021, which is the actual year. Yeah. It sounded like that. We're recording this in 2020. No, we can get... In 2021, which is the actual year it is, it sounded like that we're recording this in 2020. No, I'm just stupid.

We can get news and stuff like that from our phones and whatever, but this is 1984. Television would be... She knows enough to know that she needs to destroy the security camera to not be on TV. So she knows enough. So clearly that either has to be like how did she learn that she's gonna have to learn that by knowing it or or she fucked up yeah wonder woman

being rude though does play into a lot of what happens well that's what i'm thinking like maybe she's just an annoying person she has a tv yeah or she just like doesn't have a tv but she does it on purpose because she likes to feel smug and powerful she's lied to the dickhead because you clearly know who he was but she want to be rude yeah true she want to be smug and powerful. Or did she just lie to the dickhead? Because she clearly knew who he was, but she wanted to be rude. Yeah, true. She wanted to be rude to the benefactor of your workplace. Yeah, exactly. I think her being rude actually plays into the entire plot of the film.

Yeah, okay. Because, like, obviously there's that part. She was also very rude to Minerva McGonagall or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Barbara? Yeah, Barbara Minerva. Barbara Minerva? Why are we saying Minerva? Barbara Minerva. Is Minerva? Why are we saying Minerva?

Barbara Minerva. Is Minerva one of the cheetahs? Are you talking about Maggie Smith? Is she in this movie? No, no, no. Her name's Minerva. Or is it Barbara Minerva? I know, because Minerva-

It can't be Barbara Minerva. That's not a name. Cheetah's name is Barbara. That's the name. Yeah, but what's her surname? But wasn't there a cheetah called Minerva? Yeah, maybe there was. Maybe in the past.

Anyway, please. Yeah, go on. Help us out. Because she's a bad friend to Barbara, surname but wasn't there a cheater called minerva yeah maybe there was maybe in the past anyway please yeah help us out she's a bad friend to barbara which results in the weird villain arc of like the first time she meets barbara she sees that barbara is this really insecure person and barbara's like i'd love to grab like dinner with lunch with you or whatever she's like no she's like no but she's not even like you i kept thinking she was gonna be like no sorry i'm busy tonight but then be like but i'd love to do it some other time but she's just like no yeah she's so rude and eventually yeah they do get dinner together but only because she wants something yeah yeah yeah and how great is let's just talk about how great that scene is so they have dinner and it opens on uh wonder woman being

like you're so funny and i'm like we never got any indication she's funny. You can't just tell me that movie. She wasn't funny. She's just nervous. She's just Kristen Wig. Kristen Wig. Kristen Wig. Fuck. Maybe, yeah, I think, is this clear?

Maybe not. I guess rude is the right thing. But I guess maybe Wonder Woman is just manipulative. Yeah. Selfish. Because she's being very selfish and self-absorbed and it's very much like i don't really care about this barbara lady until she has something i want and then immediately when steve trevor comes back she's like fuck off

barbara yeah yeah you hunk in town and then again she's like calls up uh barbara when she needs help and she's like hey i need you to do this and she's so rude yeah she's very rude why barbara is being a villain barbara at this point is not being any like she meets um the very handsome pedro pascal and she's like did i get that name right yeah you know that one yes maxwell lord would have been easy yeah yeah but it couldn't bring it to mind at the time minerva hmm barbara meets maxwell Lord and immediately is smitten with him because he's a very charming man. And he's handsome as hell. And Wonder Woman's so pissed off at her for it.

I know. I thought they were going to do some kind of like, oh, maybe Barbara thinks that maybe Wonder Woman wants to jump Maxwell, but then they just never did. Yeah. She was just so rude. And then Barbara is not, like, a bad person until quite a bit later in the film,

but the moment that her wish comes true, Wonder Woman hates her, like you can tell. And it's such a weird moment in the movie. So maybe Wonder Woman's just rude. Or, like I said, she sees them as dogs, and she just doesn't care. Which could be. Another rudeness is right at the conclusion of the film,

where she's got the last though of truth, and she starts talking to everyone else through Maxwell Lord being like, recant your wishes. Everyone wished for something to come true and whatever. But she could have just said, I wish that this would stop. And she could leave the entire population of world alone.

But no, she wanted to be extra rude to everyone personally. Every human being on earth. Some people wanted the Irish to leave the UK and some people wanted the other person to drop dead. And some people wanted nukes. But there were other people who were like, I wish my parents were alive. Who's wishing for nukes? Well, Ronald Reagan, he's got that great scene.

He's like, what do you want? And he's like, more nukes. I'm not quite Reagan, you know? Yeah, that's fair. And then he's like, hey, see this thing behind us? That's actually exactly what you want. How lucky are you, Maxwell? Yeah, that's fair. And then he's like, hey, see this thing behind us? That's actually exactly what you want. How lucky are you, Maxwell? Yeah, damn.

But there were probably people out there who did their wish either like... Well, Bruce Wayne's alive at this point. Exactly, and he probably would have wished his parents were alive. Or you've got people who are like... Wonder Woman killed Bruce Wayne's parents. Wow. Yeah, twice. God damn.

She also shot them. Fucking haters are. Give me your pearls. I'm rude. But you've also got people who are very benevolent being like, oh, altruistic. I wish there was no such thing as cancer. What if someone wishes of no world wars? There's people out there who are probably wishing for nice things.

And she's like, no, recount them. Yeah, she's like, take them back. No, no, no, no, no, no. We're getting rid of all of your wishes. That's the only way we can do it. I had to get rid of Steve Trevor. Too bad. Exactly.

And Kirsten? And Kristen? Kristen? Kristen Wiig? Yes. No, you nailed it, actually. In Kristen Wiig? Yeah, Kristen Wiig.

And Kristen Wiig? Yes. She's like, you know, she recounts her wish, and she's very pissed about it. Yeah. I wanted to be an apex predator, and now I can't. I love being a cheetah woman. And it just seems very unfair that, yeah, look,

yes, you had to give up your loved one, but you know what? You could have stayed not Wonder Woman and yes, the world would have fallen to shit. I get it. But it's just like, surely there was another way. Surely. What about this for another theory? Maybe it's an intentional rudeness

because Wonder Woman is immortal. So she's like, this man, he's going to like how people are rude to dogs. We get it. If you look at the text of the film, maybe the subtext of the film, and that she probably is rude to most of humanity because she doesn't want to get close again like she was close to Trevor, then yes, Jackson, you are on the money. Correct.

Well done for reading a film. No. You don't read films. You watch them. You listen to them with your eyes shut, dude, because the, Jackson, you are on the money. Correct. Well done for reading a film. No. You don't read films. You watch them. You listen to them with your eyes shut, dude, because the moving pictures scare you. Just like how Wonder Woman is. Yeah.

No. Wonder Woman, as we said before, is immortal, right? So there's no way she's going to be able to. Is she actually immortal? Well, Steve Trevor's like, you haven't aged a fucking day. She's like, well, gee fucking whiz. Maybe because I'm fucking immortal, you stupid cunt. Maybe I liked it better when you were exploded.

JK, that's what she said. Let's never fight again. Well, they can die, though, because they died in Fighting Atlanteans, maybe. Who can say? Who can say? The point is she can't keep her job at the museum forever. So maybe that's her trying to get.

Did you say museum? Did you say a word wrong? We stopped listening. Ah, Jackson said a word wrong. Never mind. She can't keep working at the museum. She can't keep working at the museum. Okay, so maybe that was her trying to get fired.

Maybe. Why not just quit? That's a good point Because then it's suspicious If she's fired, they're like, we don't want to think about her ever again She was rude Jackson, you know what's more suspicious than quitting a job? What?

Starting to act like a bad employee so that you get fired all of a sudden Yeah, but maybe it's like an intentional smug rudeness But she just kind of lays it on thicker and thicker until they're like get out of there you know good she goes to another museum starts again look i think she is just smug because she doesn't want to get close to to humanity i uh like like steve trevor did i mean that just makes sense because your boy your one boyfriend died in a fire explosion but that still doesn't make sense why you wouldn't understand technology. Because Wonder Woman doesn't really know how technology works. Because, again, when you think about it in BVS,

she knows that Doomsday is attacking because she's watching the news on the back of a plane. Yeah, that's true. She's sitting down in an airplane. In between 1984 and 2016. She finally gets on a plane that's not invisible. She gets on a plane, but also she watches TV, because that's a little TV. Yeah, that's true. But it's not hers. Like plane that's not invisible. She gets on a plane, but also she watches TV, because that's a little TV.

Yeah, that's true. But it's not hers. Like, it's incidental. Does she have a TV yet, do we think? I don't know. Does she have a Palm Pilot? By BVS? She has a laptop, maybe.

Yeah, she does have a laptop. She does have a laptop. And she's like, see this picture that someone sent this email? I did it back. Yeah, exactly. I need the original for some reason. She's still quite the Luddite by BVS. I get it.

You are old, and so new technology can be frightening and scary. We misremembering BVS, and that was Bruce Wayne's USB, and she just takes it. Yeah. Which means that she's probably not trying to recover the photo. Oh, no, she's there to recover the photo, but I don't think it's the USB thing. I think she's just like, I'm going to kill Lex Luthor. Yeah, but she still is

misunderstanding how a digital file works. Yeah. Because she's not assuming any backups or anything. Again, so you're immortal. All this new technology is rapidly happening. You're like, I don't want to be a part of it. But the thing is, because we age as well, she doesn't really age.

And again, if she is fighting crime as she wants to, she really should be across all this. Yeah. She's aged probably about four years in between World War I and Wonder Woman 1984. It's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, good one. Oh wait, it was only two years. God damn it. Damn it, damn it. Yeah, so it's like, I think if I had to prop i think it's just a fear it's a fear of new technology she's that fear of new technology is overwhelming the fact that she should learn the new technology because that's the world she's fighting crime in or the very fact that she's like i'm calling it i'm not trying to fight crime anymore maybe she's like i don't need to learn

new technology you know what i mean but how is she learning about the crimes to fight well but maybe when she's not fighting crimes you know when she's like i'm out yeah she's like, I don't need to learn new technology. You know what I mean? But how is she learning about the crimes to fight? Well, but maybe when she's not fighting crimes, you know, when she's like, I'm out. Yeah. She's like, why would I, you know, what do I need to do? What's she doing for entertainment without a TV? How does she kill the time? Reading?

She'd read a book. Thinking about her dead boyfriend. Look at a painting. Go to a museum. A museum? Sorry. A different one. Maybe put in a job application. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. A museum, sorry. A different one. Maybe put in a job application.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Studying for a third bomb. Yeah. Sitting down, having a think. It's weird to think about superheroes recreationally. You know, what do they do?

It's actually really easy to think about. Bruce Wayne recreationally. What does he do? Sits on a yacht. Sits on a yacht. Yeah, but that's not recreation for him. That's his secret identity. He's not enjoying that. No, that's true.

He does it for the facade. Superman, I can imagine eating a bowl of cereal. Loving it. I'm there. Mark Kent there. Him reading the paper, reading the funny pages. He loves the Garfield comics. Caesar Garfield. Caesar... What's the dog's name? Odie?

No. The other comic. Vito Bailey? No, not... No, no, no, no, no, no. Mama Duke? No. Dude, I'm running out of dogs. Barley and me, but in print form. No, it's the other famous dog comic. no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I know that it sounds like Mama Duke. It's not. It is Fred Bassett. Oh, Fred Bassett. That is another famous dog comic. You're right. You're right. But I can't imagine Wonder Woman.

I don't know what she does for recreation. Fred Bassett. She messages Superman about the Fred Bassett. She might exercise for fun. Yeah, I suppose. I think she does a lot of workout, which means that there has to be a base level of Amazonian where you have to train to get stronger.

I mean, they do have to train to get stronger. They have to wipe out. Maybe she's just training for the Amazonian wipeout with Ross. 1988 or whatever. Or alternatively, unlike Bruce Wayne, because Wonder Woman's constantly retiring from being Wonder Woman, she might just like the kind of high society life she lives. She might like going to dinners and bowls and stuff.

No, she hates that, though. Yeah, she says that in the movie. She's like, I hate going to parties. I never go. I know at the start we said we'd all seen this movie, but I'm the only one who hasn't seen it. Yeah, that's so funny. I don't think Wonder Woman does shit with her time alone.

Yeah, they're like, hey, let's go to this ball, this fancy ball, and then she's like, I'd never go to these. And then she suddenly, oh, maybe she's lying again because she suddenly has an amazing outfit for that event. Alternatively, is she just saying that because the Fred Trevor, Steve Trevor

Fred Bassett dog. She only says that because she wants to like snoop on old mate Pedro. But also when she's hanging out with Barbara she's like, oh I never socialise. So Wonder Woman, she doesn't watch TV she doesn't go to fancy balls,

and she doesn't hang out with friends. But she knows fashion. Because they have the whole montage with fashion. And she's always dressing impeccable. I think we're circling back to a theory we had earlier, which is maybe she's just rude and a liar. I think she's just a rude liar who also is afraid of technology. Yeah, I think...

I don't even think a fear of technology comes into it. I reckon if we saw Wonder Woman go home, she'd turn on her TV. Check her phone. Be like, fucking got him at work today. Talk to her godmates. Yeah. And go play ping pong or some shit. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, who wants to hang out? She's got a whole friend group, you know, beyond the people we're seeing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Has like a whole thing to be like, oh, yeah, I friend group beyond the people we're seeing. It has a whole thing to be like, oh yeah, I'm going to another fancy high society. You know how much I love them. As long as none of my work losers are there. That's a great theory. Maybe Wonder Woman just hates everyone she works with.

She hates her job. Coworkers are coworkers, not friends. Maybe actually she's got very good at like you know compartmentalizing everybody where she's like you know I had my

like I had my dead lover don't need more of them yeah yeah yeah and she's never she hasn't moved on from that as well yeah that's it's been a while

maybe she's just like I guess she was like like 20 years old yeah yeah yeah she's quite young for an Amazonian yeah either way

yeah it's still pretty sad yeah so she's like, all right, that was my lover. That's in a box over there. I've got my work friends.

They're my work people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then over there I've got my mates. I've got my real friends that we just don't see in the movie. And then again,

so she doesn't really want to introduce her old dead mate to her work people. Yeah. And she doesn't want to introduce her dead lover to her.

Which is so fair. I get that. That's fair. I don't introduce you guys to my real friends. which is so fair. I get that. I don't want to introduce you guys to my real friends. We have no interest. Coworkers are coworkers, not friends. Except Cass.

She's the only person I'm friends with here. Yeah, that checks out. That makes sense. I think that's a good theory. I think that's the soundest one we have. And maybe she's not great at keeping up with new technology, which is why in BVS she's bafflingly uses that computer. But she still uses it.

She uses it weird. It's like when you see an old person, old PlayStation controller, and they hold it like the analog sticks and nipples. Yeah. That's how Wonder Woman would play Grand Theft Auto 5. It's sad that they, in BVS,

like she didn't have like a really old, chunky 80 phone. That would be cool. Yeah. You know those, the Macs that have like those bubbles that were like all different colors? Yeah, if they were like a big, a distinct part of Wonder Woman's identity is that she's a bit behind technology-wise, you know?

Yeah. I still think she is, but maybe she's just very rude and a bit of a liar. Yeah, and doesn't like the people she works with. Yeah, at all. Yeah, I think that checks out. I didn't like them.

Yeah, even when old mate Barbara was getting a lot more like, you know, confident, she was just being

a nuisance at work, distracting all the colleagues. I was like, this does not look like a fun place to work. Everybody here seems, you know. That's weird,

because I can imagine you loving working in a museum. I would kill myself, but you, I reckon you'd love it. I'd like touching all the things because not right now. I don't know if you know this, I can't touch the stuff at a museum. Yeah, I know. Except for the stuff they designate that I'm allowed to touch. Which is the

stuff you never want to touch. No, no, I want to rub a dinosaur bone, you know. That's what I'm going to do. Leave a bite mark in a sphinx or whatever. Yeah, so as much as i i would i'm sure it's a great place for me to work i would not be there long who keeps licking this rosetta stone i want to see what it tastes like language wow i speak latin now no you don't you're fired oh that's two bits of terrible news.

Was that in Latin? Can I hear it now? Say something in Latin. Let me read this stone. Oh, no. Still doesn't make fucking sense. Shit. Yeah.

I think at the end of the day, yes, Diana is just being a bit rude. Diana, Wonder Woman, champion of truth, is a rude liar. I think that's what we've learned here today. Champion of truth, rude liar. She's a rude liar. Well, that's the thing. You never see her lasso herself.

Exactly. Honesty is often rude when pervaded in the wrong way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'm like, let me be honest with you, I hate your head. That's rude. That's rude. Exactly. It's honest. Yeah, exactly.

And maybe that's what she doesn't really, maybe it's a whole thing where she doesn't really understand that lying and little white lies are kind of necessary. Sometimes necessary, yeah. You know what I mean? So because she's had this whole thing where I have a lasso of truth, the truth is important, the truth will set us free. Yeah, she doesn't understand that being in society

involves kind of smoothing the edges of interacting with people. a lasso of truth. The truth is important. The truth will set us free. She doesn't understand that being in society involves kind of smoothing the edges of interacting with people. Maybe also, is this because why is she so rude to her co-workers? It's because she's had from World War I to 1984, her

trying to socialize, and maybe everyone's like, wow. She is rude. Wow. trying to socialize and maybe everyone's like wow this she is okay wow uh she is very very honest let's say and so she's not really had a chance to make many friends yeah because could you imagine her like could you imagine uh being in a you know you are there at a university studying for your bomb and she is also there she's like oh good morning jackson you've put on weight i'm like oh good morning jackson it's bad to see you today you're one of the least pleasant people i know and i'm like you don't have to sit next to me diana could you imagine her in any sort of situation where you have to work with her yeah like in a group situation like it'd be just the

worst yeah jackson how did you get a job here? You were too stupid to work anywhere. Exactly. Diana! Be nice to me. Your shirt's bad and your shoes are ugly. Diana! I'm just trying to learn to museum. Hey, here's one final question that's rattling around my brain. When Wonder Woman's at work, where does she put her lasso?

What do you mean? So she's at work in her regular clothes. Maybe she ties her waist like a belt, and therefore she's always telling the truth. But that's such an important artifact. Yeah, there is definitely a scene in the film also that raises a lot of questions. Because her Wonder Woman outfit, pretty metallic, looks uncomfortable to wear.

At one point, she gets out of a car, is in normal clothes, takes them off, she is in her clothes. So does she try and Spider-Man it? Because she shouldn't. You are forgetting magic. Maybe it's magic. She does make that jet. She's a wizard in this film.

She makes jet disappear. She also does Spider-Man-ing, but with a lasso, but then she can fly for a bit. Does the lightning tell the truth? No, it just zaps. It becomes a little bit more honest. He also does spider manning, but with a lasso. But then she can fly for a bit. Does the lightning tell the truth? No. It just zaps. It becomes a little bit more honest. Steve Trevor's like, the way to fly is air.

And she's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Get it. That makes so much sense. Now I'll fly. Anyway, I'm off. Yeah. And then she makes that lightning bolt tell the truth.

Did we figure out why she doesn't have a television? I think she does. And she's just being rude about it. Yeah, I think that makes sense. I think she just is a little bit, does not like Maxwell Lord, and she's trying to be like, I know a thing that will hurt his feelings by saying, I don't have a TV. Even though if you just walk down the street

and look to your right or left, you will see a bank of TVs, and he's always on them. Well, yeah, I think that's really what indicates that it's rudeness and not ignorance. There's no way you can't see Maxwell Lord, even if it's not on your own television. Life is good! Could be better.

You know that line. I remember the film, yeah. Me too. She's just a rude woman. And a little bit not understanding how technology works. Rude and a bit of an idiot. Like everybody at Plumbing the Death Star. She'd fit right in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe she just heard that TV is not honest and hates it. Yeah. Well, acting. Yeah. Is a lie. Acting is a lie. Every time a character walks on the screen,

hi, I'm Bush. No, you're not. Do they know? Is everyone okay with this? Yeah. The thing is though, if she has been like actually honest with everyone and she's like, I don't watch TV. I watch documentaries.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Documentaries also lies. Supersize me? That's true, didn't happen. Can't be recreated. She's going to be so pissed when that happens. Bruce Wayne, do you hear this? He said he only had McDonald's, but I don't think that's true.

He said it made him depressed and fat. So does not leaving your house. But Bruce Wayne, I eat McDonald's every day. I'm fine. I'm in the shit wrong, Bruce Wayne. Look at his washboard abs. Yeah. Bruce Wayne, what the hell's going on? I'm not in shape. I'm just not. You are a god.

Of course. One moment, are you only eating Big Macs? Yeah. Yeah. And if they say supersize me, I say yes. This is delicious. Why would And if they say supersize me, I say yes. This is delicious. Why would I not want it supersized? I only do like 10,000 steps a day or whatever. It's pretty good. I want to try and recreate supersize me,

but I just can't do it. I don't get it. I'm so fit. I'm a god. Anyway. This seems rude to people who genuinely are struggling with obesity. Wonder Woman?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have they tried? Have they tried just being a goddess? It's pretty easy. Wonder Woman is Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have they tried? Have they tried just being a goddess? It's pretty easy. I was made of clay, but not in this universe. I see why you have no fronts. Have you just tried not, you know? Yeah, have you just tried getting in shape?

Wonder Woman is absolutely the kind of person that if you were like, I'm really depressed, you'd be like, go for a run. Wonder Woman, no. Have you tried being happy? Yeah, there's this thing you can do. My spiritual healer, they do with me, it's called yoga. Really help you out.

Wonder Woman, I'm sick of talking to you. Thank you for your honesty. I didn't like to hear it. Yeah, well, she does. I guess it's like she's very ignorant of just humanity's culture because she didn't grow up with humanity. She grew up in a very tiny bubble with other gods. She is a boot and humanity is an ant.

She sees humanity as dogs. And not if they got hit by a car. One woman would just continue eating her Big Mac. There is absolutely no evidence in this film or the previous one that she has ever been attached to. She doesn't care for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, she doesn't own a TV because...

No, hang on. I might be coming around to Jax's point of view. Because it's like, yes, because, like, yeah, she likes the fact that she likes Stephen Trevor and loved him, but that was her dog. Yeah, exactly. And, yes, it's sad when her dog dies. But doesn't care when anyone else's dog dies.

Does she care when anyone else's dog dies? I don't think she does. Not really. When she is like running through finally being like, goodbye, Steve Trevor, when he dies and everyone else around her is dying, she is not giving a shit. No. And she is running forward while they're-

Trying to get Steve. No, Steve's dead. But she's running forward to try and bash the shit out of Cheetah or whatever And people are mostly dying around her And think about this Say you had a dog and the dog died And then someone was like I can bring back your dog

In another dog Would you be like bring back my dog In a stranger's dog Because you don't care because it's a dog And the thing is she has no remorse For the dog She doesn't care for the dog a dog, right? Yeah. And that's the thing. She has no remorse for the dog. She doesn't care for the dog that her dog took over the body of. She's like, whatever.

I don't care. I'm going to give this dog that I think is my dog when the boy of her dog bats that I like. And then she sees that dog again when it's the first dog and she's like, hey, you were my dog for a bit. That was funny. Woo! And off she flies.

No, I think you're right. Fuck, Jack. No, you're right. I, Jack. No, look. I think she likes her dog because, again, she doesn't really care for... Like, if you meet a dog on the street, you're like, oh, hey, dog. How you going? But that dog comes back and gives you a sandwich. You're like, fuck, that's useful.

That's a better dog. Yeah. And that's basically her relationship with Barbara. Yeah, yeah. She's like, look at this stupid dog. I don't give a shit about you. Whatever. And then it comes with, like, you know, hey, I got some information.

She's got something for it. And it's like, oh, I like this dog all of a give a shit about you, whatever. And then it comes with, like, you know, hey, I've got some information. It's got something for it, and it's like, oh, I like this dog all of a sudden. This dog is all right. Yeah. All right, so Wonder Woman doesn't own a TV because humans are dogs and no one would buy a dog TV. Yeah. Yeah.

And on that note, I've been Jackson Bailey. I've been Joel Zalman. And I have been Joel Dusha. Yeah. And that's been Wonder Woman clocked. We sorted it out. Yeah. 100% of it.

People are dogs. People are dogs to Wonder Woman clocked. We sorted it out. Yeah, 100% of it. People are dogs. People are dogs to Wonder Woman. It makes sense if you think about it. Exactly. Don't fuck your dog, though. That's the message we didn't convey. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Wonder Woman definitely does.

She fucks her dog in this film. Yeah, that's no good. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support this show and all the other shows on the Sandspans Radio Network, just head to SandspansRadio.com and consider joining the Sandspans Plus community. There's over 20 bonus shows, a Sandspans Plus Discord, exclusive video content, and discounts on merch. Just head to SandspansRadio.com and follow the links.