Plumbing the Death Star - Why Don't Superheroes Have Henchmen?

Episode Date: June 18, 2017

In which our heroes mess with tradition, change what it means to be a superhero, and accidentally make a police state as we ask why don’t superheroes have henchmen? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SANS PANTS RADIO! I CAN'T FIND THE MIC! to sanspantsradio.com slash live, you can check out the shows that aren't. As of recording, there's one ticket left in Bristol and one of the Edinburgh shows, under 10 for Cardiff. Belfast is just under 50% sold and Birmingham has opened up some more seating. To answer some of the questions that we've been getting, each night will be a different topic. There will be merch,

and if we plan everything right, exclusive merch. And for you D&D lovers out there, a section of the night will be dedicated to us ruining Adam's good times, probably with a dice. So, if you haven't already booked your tickets, you better get in quick. So that's sanspantsradio.com slash live, and we'll be seeing some of your handsome faces in October. Hey everyone, and welcome to today's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, why don't superheroes have henchmen? Because like, they'd get a lot more done, surely, if they were happy to work with people, like a large organisation, to be like, hey, let's do good, yeah?

Well, here's the reason why superheroes don't have henchmen, because when a superhero has henchmen, a superhero has a secret police. It's kind of like, yeah, superheroes having their own militia. It's 2v1 here, dickhead. Script flipped! Because here's the thing with a henchman Is that that's somebody that works for you And that's somebody that enforces your beliefs Right?

Yeah Okay but like a superhero's whole deal Is that they decide who's right and wrong So if they've got a henchman They have a militia deciding who's right and wrong Well is the X-Men a militia? Yes Absolutely Bat family Where do we stand? Militia right and wrong. Well, is the X-Men a militia? Yes.

Absolutely. Bat family. Where do we stand? Militia. I would say gang of vigilantes with the Bat family. Bat family's a gang, though. Like, if you were separating the gangs of Gotham City, I'd just be like, Bat family, they'll kill you. Hang on. I mean, this is already well off topic, but

in a Batman situation, because he's a vigilante, but he's also anti-crime. So like if he just one day beat the shit out of Robin for vigilantism, that shouldn't be that surprising. I like to imagine that once Batman's cleaned up crime in Gotham, he's going to beat himself up. The last crime. The last crime is me.

Embezzlement is wrong. And he pushes himself into a river. Yeah. He doesn't kill himself though because he can't so he just beats him up beats himself up and hangs himself

by the leg from a lamppost yeah well I think yeah I think that's the reason the superhero is kind of henchmen

is because fuck hang on just going back to the like the cops find Batman hanging from a lamppost like what happened he's like Batman got me

there's no more crime left in Gotham. We did it, boys. Arrest me. Pull on the cuffs. That doesn't make any sense. What? You know, we can't.

Arrest me. You know, Batman, like every person you actually beat up and put to a let, we can't actually arrest them. We don't know anything. There was no witnesses to the crime. You know what you've done? Basically, you've beaten? Crime, right? Basically, you've beaten someone up,

and sometimes you just stuff money in their pocket. We don't know that that's stolen money. We have no clue. We've got to let them go. You're bad at this. You know what the biggest GDP of Gotham is? No. Victims of crime. Oh, God.

You know what I mean? Because you know what, Batman? You technically can be a victim of your own crime. And so when you break someone's leg, they just apply for benefits. And they get them because their leg got broke. No. Because of you. Yeah.

No. It's fucking. An actual scam that the Gothamites have is that they'll just say they got beat up by Batman. No. And we've got to be like, yep. Did I beat him up, though? We don't know. In this case, it's Suttertown.

We actually have no idea. What have I done? We don't know. In this case, we actually have no idea. What have I done? I don't know. You've made Gotham worse. You're going to jail. So, uh... I need henchmen. Actually, I think there is.

Well, they're not quite... Okay, so can I... Does a henchman have to be human? I would argue yes. Nah, nah. Well, man in henchmen. If I have a robot... A robot?

A robot army. I have a robot army.opit A roopit army You have an army of roopits So say I have a bunch of roopit robots Are they my henchmen? All the roopits? I think they're just robots Are you trying to talk like Iron Man situation? What I'm thinking is

I think in the graphic novel I think it's this one called Kingdom Come. Sounds like an anime. Yeah. No, it's a graphic novel. Batman has like an army of- Don't make him cry. I'll leave.

That's all right. I'll tip over this whole table, this table situation, and I'll go- That's a lot of tables. That would be a lot of noise for a very long time. And a lot of like- And then like a- As I drag it out to make it more tippable. No.

Batman in Kingdom Come has a whole bunch of robots that patrol Gotham. Oh, wait. Oh, Max. And then like a As I drag it out to make it more tippable No, Batman In Kingdom Come Has a whole bunch of robots that patrol Gotham Is that the one? Where he spies in the world? It's the one where him and Lex Luthor team up No wait, it's for want of a nail Kingdom Come, yeah

Basically Batman Batman has an army of robots That patrol Gotham Are they his henchmen in that? No, they would just be robots. Well, what's a henchman then? You know, when I said, do you mean Iron Man, you could have just been like, yeah, sure.

Because I would say Iron Man wouldn't, they aren't robots, unless Iron Man hired lads to go inside those robot suits, they would be henchmen. But then his, I was going to say War Widow, his war machine. His War Widow henchmen? Sick. Why is there not like a his war machine. His war widow henchman? Sick. Why is there not like a lady war machine called war widow?

That's a fucking, or like when Black Widow gets a, that's war widow. Fuck, that's a good name. Well, Rhodey is not his henchman. That's the thing. They get like sidekicks. Yeah, they get sidekicks. They don't get henchmen. I guess henchmen need to be, you've got to have a uniform and there's got to be at least

20 of you. How many? Yeah, I was going to say, how many until they're not sidekicks? There'll be 10 then. Yeah. 10. No, because the Bat Family is roughly 10. But they're not wearing the same uniform.

No, they roughly are. But if they're all wearing the same, like, blue V thing that Nightwing had, then, yeah, they'd all be henchmen. But they're not. They're all different. They've got different names. I need to be like- Henchmen have different names, too.

Yeah, I know. There's a Gary. There's a Larry. Exactly. They don't have nicknames. There's one guy just called Thumb. Yeah. Slugger.

He's the tough one. Thumb. And like... Nails? And you can't go off and do your own vigilantism. You have to kind of do everything for the person. Like you can't do sort of side vigilantism. That's why I wouldn't classify the Bat family as henchmen.

What if Bruce, well. See, if Bruce Wayne was like boys and huntress, I guess, sometimes, and Catwoman, this is your uniform. I'm putting you on payroll. Well, let's say that Wayne Corp has a uniform. Everyone's wearing business cards. That counts as a uniform in my eyes. If he's getting them to help him embezzle,

aren't they already his henchmen in that? But are they helping him embezzle? But are they? That's why I asked you. But are they helping him embezzle? Well, I guess. Presumably. Presumably.

But as in, like, I guess they're probably unaware henchmen aren't henchmen. They're just regular Joe Cock. Joe Blow. Joe Cock. They're just regular Joe Cock being duped. Yeah. Well, okay, so here's... Rupert Joe Cock being duped Yeah Rupert Joe Cock being duped

So here's another theory That I have Because I'm thinking about superheroes So Batman could have henchmen Iron Man could have henchmen Spider-Man could Because you gotta pay henchmen And Spider-Man's shit poor

That's true He does get henchmen but that's when Doc Ock controls his body and he becomes a scientist. The villains know what they're doing. And also, like, does having henchmen instantly make you a bad guy? That's a good question. I kind of think it does. I think you get, you hit a maximum of 10 sidekicks,

then you're a family. But, so say you get a maximum of two sidekicks, 10 sidekicks becomes a family, 15, you got henchmen. That's how I think I'd play that out. All right, so 15 henchmen. Is that automatically just a bad guy? Because let's think about Spider-Man, right? Say Spider-Man.

Let's give Spider-Man henchmen. Okay, Spider-Man, he went on. He wants to be a millionaire. Got some coins. Great. Aunt May died. He got the life insurance. Two good events in one way for old Spidey.

So he gets some henchmen. All right, so what is Spider-Man's... Another deal with the devil. What is Spider-Man's moral code? What is. So he gets some henchmen. All right. So what is Spider-Man's moral code? What is Spider-Man getting these henchmen to achieve? With great power comes great responsibility. Yep. He needs to be responsible with them. He needs to be responsible with them. So let's follow kind of, I guess, Peter Parker's trajectory in the comics.

So he makes Parker Industries. So he becomes kind of like a big sort of like conglomerate kind of thing. And so he's got money through that kind of stuff. So it's like we're kind of going into the future. We've got to build stuff for the future. We've got to also protect our holdings and protect our buildings because we do have super dickheads coming in, fucking up our shit.

And then I guess he's getting security. My question is that say you've got this spider henchman Rocking around New York City And they see a mugging What do they do? That's a good question Spider-Man has to instruct his henchmen On what their job is

What if you've got a security guard For your Parker Industries tower And you're like, right I want you to wear this Are they henchmen? Here's another thing that I think defines henchmen a Parker Industries tower, and you were like, right, I want you to wear this. They're like, fine. Are they henchmen? Are they henchmen? Here's another thing that I think defines henchmen.

Because henchmen generally, they protect a lair or a house. Superheroes don't have lairs. They have houses. Batman's got a lair. Secret fucking. Batman's got a cave. I call it a lair. You've got secret headquarters is usually what they call it.

What are the Avengers? All right, so the Avengers, because they are out and proud. Can a team have henchmen? That feels weird. Who owns them? Yeah, this is weird. I don't like this quote. No, I do like it. I'm in. But then also... So the Avengers are like, sick.

Don't worry about what I was going to say. No, no, no, you go. I was going to say that if good guys have henchmen and bad guys have henchmen, doesn't that just make it gang violence? Doesn't that just make it like a war? A gang war? Does it?

Yes. Yeah. It's two gangs punching on. But what if you have, say, a villain with a henchman and the Bat family, say, team up with- Gotham City Police. Something else. I was going to say like-

Gotham Boy and Girl or whatever they are. Gotham Man and- Gotham Girl. Yeah. I was Girl or whatever they are Gotham Man and Fire Brigade I was going to say not government employees but other vigilantes and so you've got the equal amount JLA say, so the Bat Family and JLA are then fighting say Mr Freeze and his henchmen

and so you've got the equal amount of henchmen and Mr Freeze versus JLA and Bat Family is that just gang v. gang? Well, I mean, from the police perspective, yes. From ours perspective, because we're force-fed propaganda, that Batman is good despite the fact that he commits more crimes than any henchman I know.

Yeah. Has nobody explained to Batman that you can't stop crime? Like has anybody ever sat down and be like, you know, crime is just like- It's part of the natural cycle. It's kind of like part of the order of how a society functions. It's a social contract. You can't stop it.

All outside that is, you know, and we need that. You're never going to be able to... It's weird that you're trying. Like, it's good that you're trying, but like, sometimes I think you're doing more harm than good. Because let's imagine a world where Doc Ock's got henchmen and Spider-Man has henchmen. So why would Spider-Man and Doc Ock fight

when they can just get their henchmen to do it? Well, exactly. So do henchmen go out and fight or do they just protect the lair? So what are your roles if you're henchmen? Well, okay. I think we're going to make a distinction here. What's the distinction between a henchman and a goon?

Whoa. Yeah, exactly. I think a goon, you go out and he's like, oh, he'd go do some missions. Because Kingpin doesn't have henchmen. Kingpin a goon. Yeah, exactly. I think a goon, you go out and he's like, oh, he'd go do some missions. Because Kingpin doesn't have henchmen, Kingpin has goons. I think a henchman can double as a goon. Yeah. I think you might say you've got 15 henchmen, three of them are your goons. So your henchmen

are basically your defense, yeah? Yeah. So your henchmen are... Which is a problem, because Spider-Man has an apartment. Or a house in Queens. Yeah, so he doesn't need like 15 people there getting in Aunt May's way. But he should sometimes. See, but I feel like henchmen is just like, say I hire 100 people, they're all my henchmen, but then like engineers and shit to run my base.

But then if I've got like 15 that are solely there to hit cunts. Yeah, those are goons? They're goons. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Because if you're dropping fellas, you, that's right. If you're dropping fellas, you're a goon. If you're fixing shit, you're probably a henchman. But if you're dropping fellas, aren't you just security?

Yeah, but that doesn't matter. Henchman is a global term. Because a lot of the henchmen, they aren't talking about pay. Sometimes you get some, like, when someone's creeping around the base, they're talking about like, oh yeah, I'm working harder this time because they pay a bit better than AIM., they're talking about like, oh, yeah, I'm working for Hydra this time because they pay a bit better than AIM and they're like,

hey, their super's pretty good or like their 401k or whatever. So it's kind of like it's a job. I'm happy to call a security guard a goon to his face. I think that's a takeaway message. Well, I think it depends because I think some people just hench for the love of henching. Well, that's true, but some people just security guard for the love of henching. Well, that's true, but some people just security guard for the love of security

guarding. I don't think that's true. Or they security guard for pay? I don't think anybody out there is like, fuck, I love patrolling this empty factory. I'm doing it just for free. Have you not seen Unbreakable? David Dunn fucking loves it. He just likes to help people. Double D. Double D.

Daredevil. In the Marvel universe, at leastdevil. In the Marvel universe at least, because I feel the Marvel universe is more, the henchmen are more like notable, yeah? Yeah, let's say so. Ah, what? No, DC. Think about every single one of them.

Hang on a second. Marvel have your, like almost your two or three organizations. You got your hand, your aim, and your hydra. You can say your ham. Your ham. You got your ham. Your ninja ham.

You got your ham, your cheese, and your tomato. And sometimes your pickles. Yep. But you got your hand. You got your hand if you're a ninja. Yep. You got hydra if you're just, like, whatever. If you're a baddie, like a Nazi baddie.

Aim if you're, like, engineering. If you're a science baddie. And that's about it. Yeah, pretty much. And then the only people that are going to have- Those are your three kind of offshoots. The only people that are going to have henchmen are basically like, I don't know, your Doc Ocks or your, you know, like the X-Men villains tend not to have henchmen. I guess Doom does, but like-

Nah, Doom just got Doom bots. Yeah. So it's kind of like, again, there's a robot issue. Actually, yeah, that's what I was going to say. In the Marvel universe, who really has henchmen? Doc Ock? Doc Ock sometimes. But honestly, it'd probably just be like those three organizations.

Yeah, but like who do they usually operate? And I wouldn't call the people who work for those organizations henchmen. Kingpin has henchmen. I'd say that they're AIM people. You know what I mean? It's like you don't call soldiers henchmen because they're just soldiers. Soldiers of AIM. And then in the DCc universe you've got

the henchmen at fucking wazoo but i think they never stop oh my god i think in the dc clowns fucking two-faced fellas fucking mostly batman's villains like yeah superman's villains tend not to have henchmen like brainiac doesn't need any do you reckon that's like the demon bat being like gotham you want to do evil it kind of makes you crazy but you haven't got your own shtick yeah like so why don't you just like join that guy you can just we're gonna make you clown guys we're gonna make you uh alice in wonderland guys yeah see what i was gonna say with say tony stark like with his security he's got all his little bots that are parading around but why why doesn't he just you you know, be a job creator,

get some people to man those, you know, like a nine to five almost. Because he doesn't want to put those people in danger. Because he's a superhero. But it's like you're a security job. Because like the Avengers Tower had henchmen. Yeah. And we just called them security. The difference between that and a security job is that a security job,

at most, you're chasing away like teens with graffiti. If you're like dressed as an Iron Man, you're like fu manchu fin fang fu and i do i do i do guess with marvel at least those those heroes that are out they tend to get shield as their henchmen yeah well yeah i get but that's is that in the comics or just in the like dc i mean the mcu i did in the comic yeah okay so like that's the weird thing about marvel is that you get organizations to kind of like pick up the henchmen slack i think it doesn't happen for I mean the MCU. It's in the comic. Yeah, okay. So that's the weird thing about Marvel is that you've got organizations to kind of like pick up the henchman slack. I think it doesn't happen for superheroes

in the DC universe because like very few of them need them. Like Superman doesn't need henchmen. What's Superman doing with henchmen? Oh, in the DC EU he does and they're cunts and they kill people. They got that Nazi Superman. No, that's right.

That's fucking a flashpoint maybe but hard to say because that's who knows i have any explanation it might be a dream but it might not be honestly might just be spooked hard to say like it's like i fucking if i went to bed had a dream that jackson took a shit on my desk and then i sent him to surgery his bum hole closed uh-huh. It's the same thing that Batman did. He wakes up paranoid that Superman's going to take over the world. There were some weird things in that dream

that are going to come true, like the parademons and the Amiga symbol. Maybe I will take a shit in your bed or whatever. Maybe you should stop his bottle. Science? Hello? I've got an idea. What idea? I've got a neat idea, science Just a thought

Alright, so I guess Superman doesn't need henchmen Neither does the Flash The Green Lantern, isn't that the Green Lantern Corps? It's the whole bunch of henchmen? That's what I mean, that's just a group of people But a henchman has no powers Working for a power I was going to say, is a henchman just a name

Of a negative connotation that we use As associated with going to say, is a henchman just a name of a negative connotation that we use as associated with bad guys? Are we the henchmen? But you know what I mean? It's just like, okay, you're working for S.H.I.E.L.D. Oh, you're working for AIM. Oh, one person, you're an organization of S.H.I.E.L.D. Oh, you're just henchmen.

I think you're only a henchman if you're working for one central supervillain. So then the AIM are not henchmen? No, I wouldn't consider AIM henchmen. I'd consider Hydra henchmen. No, they're just goons They're just fellas You'd call them goons?

I'd consider them goons Eh, fine I think if you hench for someone You don't hench for an organisation That's why I don't think Avengers could have henchmen But Black Widow could Yeah, Black Widow could have henchmen Actually, hang on

I don't think any superhero could Because the moment you have henchmen It's bad times like look at uh actually a good example is probably watchmen because they all used to be on the same team but ozzy manders has henchmen by the end he's he's up to no good that's just ozzy manders yeah but like even if he if he was a good guy you wouldn't expect him to have henchmen yeah but he has got a he's got a building he needs to be protecting He needs security guards for that And like

Doesn't the Wayne Corp people count as henchmen? Like if Bruce Wayne But no one knows that Batman is Bruce Wayne Nobody's protecting the Batcave though Yeah but no one knows where it is But what's the difference between Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor? Well Bruce Wayne is Hidden

Lex Luthor is not No no Bruce Wayne isn hidden. Lex Luthor is not. No, no, no. Bruce Wayne isn't hidden. Batman's hidden. Yeah, yeah, but no one knows that Bruce Wayne is a vigilante. Yeah, but that doesn't matter. What's the difference between Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor? Lex Luthor's a cunt.

So is Bruce Wayne, kind of. Yeah, but Lex Luthor's a petty cunt. Yeah, and Lex Luthor is like, I am evil, and everyone knows he's evil, and everyone... But vote me as president. Yeah, no, that's going to... Political reference. He does become president. I know he becomes president.

He does. He does become president. I remember that one. That's a good comic. Peace. I think it's just that a superhero has no need for a henchman. I think because a superhero

is so protective of the secret entity. That's why. Not even. I mean, he's not protected. He doesn't... Inisa doesn't want a henchman. I think because a superhero was so protective of the secret entity. That's why. I miss us. Protected. He doesn't want a henchman. And fucking name one fight where

Spider-Man's mask doesn't come off. You can't. Spider-Man's mask, he lubes up his face before he goes out fighting. A strong breeze.

He has a cushion but also helps him like, oh no, it's my mask. What's that great Spider-Man costume where he forgets his costume? The Incredible Bag Man or something? He puts a bag on his head fights crime great but i think

it does come down with secret entity especially in the comic books like a lot of those superheroes have a secret entity whereas a lot of villains kind of don't well villains certainly don't have a secret identity like and a lot of villains have the means because they're always you know like it's just because Superman's holier than thou? I don't think so. I think they just got no need. They just got no necessary like, what's the good of Spider-Man having henchmen? What's he get out of that?

Other than our sake. That's true. What's the good of Superman having henchmen? He's already got protection. He's Spider-Man. If Spider-Man is fighting the Green Goblin, a henchman is not going to do as much damage than Spider-Man. Spider-Man is going to have to protect the henchman. Yeah, true.

The benefit of a henchman is that you don't give a fuck about the henchman. A good henchman is that, A, they're cannon fodder. You pay them well so that they are that cannon fodder. They'll happily take a bullet for you because, like, the off chance they survive, well, sweet. You know what I mean? I guess they're just, like, eh, in the off chance they survive, well, sweet. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I guess they're just, like, really security guards,

but for evil, yeah? Well, I mean, yeah, I guess so. So that's why I'm saying, like, if the Avengers don't have henchmen, they've got security guards. Well, yeah, probably they've got security guards for Avengers Tower, but that'll just be to keep away kids graffitying. No, because there's going to be villains coming. But if a villain comes to Avengers Tower.

Or Avengers Mansion. But you know who deals with that? The Avengers. The Avengers. But what if they're not there? Graffitiing No Because there's gonna be Villains coming But if a villain comes To Avengers Tower Or Avengers Mansion But you know who deals with that The Avengers The Avengers But what if they're not there They've gotta have Some kind of

Like you know First Light and defense Oh I guess you've got Vision and bots Yeah It makes it easier Nobody has to die

You know All of these Superheroes are like Oh I don't want anyone To die But then they're just Taking away jobs There's no need for that job.

There's no vacuum. Well, yeah, there is because there's going to be some petty crime where there's going to be people who are attacking Avengers Tower that you would have for security guards. But now all you have is your high-tech robo-suit, whereas at least Doc Ock is hiring a lad. I think the thing is, yeah, you're taking away jobs, but you're also...

I feel like you're like, I think I'm a good person still. The moment you're hiring a henchman, you're like, I'm putting innocent lives at risk. For example, look. Just hire security. That's what I mean. You are hiring security. A security guard, not a henchman.

Yeah, you're a security guard or a henchman. I think they kind of form the same kind of... No, I don't think they do. Because a security guard calls the cops. Yeah. A henchman hits I think they kind of form the same kind of... No, I don't think they do. Because a security guard calls the cops. Yeah. A henchman hits you with a bat. Well, yeah. If you want your henchman to call the cops, then great.

But then just like, what's the good... But a henchman is only called... Then you get arrested. A henchman is only calling the cops because he's henching for a villain. What? If he was... No, a security guard calls the cops. No, the other way around.

A henchman doesn't call. He fucked up his sentence. I guess I did. A henchman doesn't call the cops because he's henching for a villain who's doing wrong. But if you're henching for a hero who's doing pretty good, then you'd want to call S.H.I.E.L.D. or the cops. I don't know. I feel like

if I'm henching for Batman, I'm not calling the cops. Well, that's on you. No, because like... If I'm like... I don't want to get Batman arrested. Say you're henching for... How do you explain that? You're henching for Batman, the cops come, you're like, someone's trying to break into

this cave. Don't go in the cave. But then you're just saying the only reason Batman doesn't have henchmen is because he knows he's doing a legal crime. I think the reason

Batman doesn't have henchmen is because Batman is like nine times out of ten capable. Well, apart from him being capable or not, if you're a henchman for Batman because you're like, he's a good guy, you call the cops. They're going to be like, that's cool, but he's a vigilante. We're going to arrest him.

That's like, he's a villain there. He's doing crime. But he knows, like, he's well aware. Batman is aware that vigilantism is a crime. He's just not aware that anything else he does is a crime. I think Batman's a bad example to hench for because he's safe for, say, I don't know. Batman already is. The moment Batman hires henchmen, he's a bad guy.

Give me someone to hench for. You sound like he's already a villain. He kind of is. He kind of is a bad guy. So I guess if he had a, I guess it's just propaganda at this point, isn't it? It sure is. Yeah, it's fucked up. Well, give me someone to hench for.

Like I said, we've been. Iron Man. Why am I henching for Iron Man? Iron Man's like, look. He's giving you a suit. Iron Man is like, look. If I'm getting a suit. So am I getting a suit? Iron Man, yeah. Like, Iron Man is like, look. If I'm getting a suit, I'm a sidekick. No, no, no, no, no.

A business suit. Oh, that's right. No, no, no. Iron Man is like, look, I've got a bunch of Stark Towers. I've got a bunch of warehouses, a bunch of everything. Look, there's like, Stark Industries is a big organization. Yeah. And there's a lot of high-tech gadgetry and all this kind of shit involved.

I'm going to pay you good wages, super, all that kind of stuff. I need you to basically, well, the word you need to use would be a security guard. I need you to be a security guard. I need you to have this suit. I would never take the job. You wouldn't, but think about someone who needs that money. Well, that's just, you're just, they're going to die. Well, they're not necessarily going to die.

Chances are. Think about in like Iron Man 3 where like the- But then it's like, why would you join S.H.I.E.L.D.? Exactly. Why would you? Okay. Do we show any time we drive? Yep.

All right. Okay. I'm in. So Tony Stark is like, hey, yes, I've got Stark Tower, Stark Warehouse, Stark this, that, and that. I need people who are on the ground there. When I'm not, you'll be given an Iron Man suit. It will protect you from a lot of

kind of like any kind of problems here and here but like you know of course like there'll be some sort of like you know fail safe so you don't go rogue um it's a war machine no because it's going to be about 20 of you per campus see i think you're a sidekick or a militia then you're a militia because a goon's got to be really really really underpowered. That's the good of a goon. Or a henchman. Otherwise, you're just a militia. Would you call that a militia, then? I'm feeling a bit militia.

Militia? I'm feeling a bit militia. All right, so you've got the Iron Man suit. Didn't you not want to give your suit to the government for this exact reason? Yeah, why did he want it? That's stupid. God, Tony Stark, why you gotta be so selfish? Tony, are you okay?

He's with Zammert talking. Anyway. I go see if the Hulk needs a henchman. Oh yeah. He needs handlers. He needs handlers, people calming him down, meditation and therapists. You know how like, there's like, is it like bug spray? I don't know.

They almost look like flame throws when they spray something. If you could get something that just made him like real chill. Yeah. Like pheromones. Oh, good. Just calm him down.

Well, yeah, like basically this is just a suit. Everyone has a tracking thing. It's there for your own protection. There's not that many offensive capabilities. What you have is like a button that kind of calls shield,

a button that calls cops, a button that like, you know, warns, calls the Avengers maybe. And maybe you get like a sweet baton. Kind of like security guards, but a bit more high tech. A bit more high tech.

A bit more high tech. And then Tony gets a bit of a wink. Why don't you just put an alarm? We do have them. But sometimes, again, we need like boots on the ground there that are like a first line of defense in case something goes awry we need eyes and ears on the ground i can't be everywhere at once my robots can't be everywhere at once and like robots are good but we need a human element i'm not gonna lie i still feel like i'm now part of a malicious slash maybe an uprising you're not because i also don't trust the suit you're giving me because I know that it's now limited.

So you don't trust me, but you're asking me for a job. I don't like this. I'm going to be honest. Well, as a cop, if you were to join the police force. You don't give me a gun that only shoots one bullet when you decide, though. No, but as a security guard, you aren't given a gun. You're given a taser or a baton. Yeah, but you don't control who't given like a gun You're given like a taser Or a baton Yeah but you don't control

Who I get to taser either Well that's true So there'd be like Gotcha I'm waiting for Free will So you have Free will here

It's just like You don't get like The war machines Like 18 fucking rockets Because if I said that You're gonna fuck me Also I'm real worried about like hey do you remember when ultron took over and he used your suits yeah i'm now in one of those suits

i don't really know ultron's gonna be a problem ultron's always an issue like i'm not gonna lie but like say for example you're in the marvel universe and you want a job is there is there ai in this in this suit because like i mean they mean, there have to be. Yeah, sure. That's what I was thinking, and I don't like that. But if I was in the Marvel Universe and I wanted a job, henging for a superhero is like... Bottom of the list. Bottom of the list. Because henging for a superhero, henging for a villain.

Those are the bottom of the list. I want to go work in a bakery. I feel the problem there with, say, Tony Stark being like that, because he is inherently a good person, he doesn't want to give you either A, so much power that you become a target, but then doesn't want to give you so much power that you could

fuck off with his tech. Tony, weren't you a Nazi at one point? No, no, no. Someone else. I'm very worried about joining. Yeah. Civil War 1. He's a fascist. I remember him being a Nazi They lent real heavily into that

Now Captain America's a Nazi One of your mates I'm sick of Nazis in the Marvel Universe Nazis you've done It seems that like I feel like a villain would kind of Because in a weird way Tony's trying He'd be wanting to protect the person

Who's in the suit Whereas if it's like an Iron Patriot being like, whatever, here's a suit, fucking who gives a shit? Tony, Bobsy, please. Here's where I'm coming from and why I'm so worried. Ultron rocks up. My suit has no defensive mechanisms except a baton. I get cut in half by a fucking laser.

Ultron hacks your suit, makes you hit yourself in the head with the baton. How about we put a button, which is like an emergency button where you get sweet powers? I'm just going to press that straight away. See, this was my problem. I knew that's what you'd do. But then why are you giving me the emergency button?

You either trust me or you don't. Well, that's the problem. The problem here is that a suit... You be Tony Stark. You solve this problem. You've got a suit with four capabilities. It's got a self-destruct button in it Do you want to be in it? It's got a self-destruct button

I mean, I control the self-destruct It won't kill you if it self-destructs It'll just blow the armor off See, it's on So there we go This is how you get a robot hen right, so there we go. Call me son. See, son. See, son. This is how you get a robot henchman.

So there we go. We've got, look, full capabilities, but if it goes all right, we can shut it down. I think the problem, and this is the same problem you have with a villain, is that, like, a superhero decides what's wrong and right. Okay. And they often choose wrong. Well, they often just include weird arbitrary rules

and they've got their own agendas. I don't murder anyone because murder is illegal, but assault isn't illegal. And then you're giving that superhero a group of people and then eventually it's just a cult. Yeah. Because the problem here is with Tony Stark doing all that kind of stuff, you're like, yep, that's fine.

I guess, sure, I get a suit and I get wages and all that kind of stuff. I'm basically a glorified bodyguard and security guard. Yeah. That's all right. But if Batman was doing this, in the back of your mind, you're like, he's doing so much illegal stuff. I need to go to the cops here. Yeah.

Like, jeez, he's doing bad things. So Spider-Man can get away with vigilante-ing because he's one guy and he's quick. Spider-Man has like 15 with vigilante-ing Because he's one guy and he's quick Yes Spider-Man has like 15 dudes And they stop a crime The cop's gonna be like You're not cops Who are you?

Who are you to be stopping this mugging? You know what I mean? It's the same with all of them Even then with the Avengers It's like even if Tony Stark got a group of people So the moment they are not on I guess Tony Stark's private property and are stopping crime Then then yeah, you're right. It's just bad. That's why I think it needs to be a protection thing.

Well then probably most superheroes with a place like that do have protection. I mean, it's not just Tony Stark alone in his house. Jarvis protects his house. Yeah. And then like Superman doesn't need it. Because it's The X-Men are their own militia Yes Fucking Batman's Batcave is real hidden And even if it isn't

Alfred's there to hit someone with a cane or some shit Is Alfred Batman's henchman? Or is he his goon? Do you know what? I would honestly out of everyone Alfred is the one who comes closest to henchmen Jarvis as well if AI count Yeah I agree But like even then

What about comic Jarvis who's just a butler I think butler is kind of It's own category I think a superhero like Can have henchmen, goons But it can also have like Fatherfica or butler Or like Ward Not even Ward, Ward's like Robin But it could also have like father figure or butler or like ward.

Yeah. Not even ward. Ward's like Robin. I don't know what you'd call it. I think superheroes could have henchmen. We just don't call them henchmen. We call them security guards. See, I will disagree with that sort of henchman.

Because a henchman is someone who protects your property. No, a henchman is someone that's on board with your agenda. Not necessarily. Most of the time. A lot of them aren't in it for the pay. If I'm working for, because a lot of them are in it for the pay. Most of the time. A lot of them are in it for the pay. If I'm working for Doc Ock, I'm not in it for the pay, because, like, it's not actually a job. That's the kind of thing that's going to get me a criminal record.

Well, yes and no, but there is evidence in the comic where people are saying that he's paying. So there is evidence. Yeah, but, like, their role is, like, also to fight for Doc Ock, a bad guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, if I'm just getting paid and, like, their role is, like, also to fight for Doc Ock, a bad guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, if I'm just getting paid and, like, the Hulk starts attacking me,

I'm not going to fight for Doc Ock. Well, exactly. I'm going to leave. And the same with any superhero. And a superhero, like... Well, it comes down to personal incentives, because, like, how much are you getting paid? Because, for example, a villain could be like,

or anyone could be like look there's i'm going to be some dickheads because like take it from like say you know if dark oak wasn't such a villainous yeah he's just like i am a legitimate businessman and i'm a legitimate science business that sounds like a business that sounds like the penguin penguin i'm doing legitimate business here um so sometimes we're to get some vigilantes Who are actually villains Because they are breaking and entering So I'm going to pay you this much

And if you stay and fight, this much Could the penguin call the cops? It's hard because like Now it's pretty much the mafia vs vigilantes Neither's in the right But also Police mightn't go after either of them, depending on what's happening. Like if Batman goes into the Iceberg Lounge

and gets the shit kicked out of him, I don't know who the police would arrest. Well, probably Batman. Yeah, because they're like, you're an idiot. You knew what you were getting in for. Okay, let's take Danny Rand, Iron Fist. I'm reading one of the other comics at the moment and so he's like you know a corporation and then like he's being hostile taken over by other corporation that he just knows is the hand but like he can't prove it so he does his own little corporate espionage

slash breaking and entering and of course at the hand there and they're fucking him up but if you were the hand there you could call the police and then scatter and get him arrested. I think that's their kind of memory. That might be part of their plan. And so it is just kind of like if you are henching and you can't necessarily have a crime that's traced back

to actually being a crime, you probably could call the cops. Yeah, I suppose. It's so weird because it depends on how game the cops are. Like if you've got like a fucking straight laced cop that's like by the book and like gonna take

the whole city down. He might arrest both. He might arrest both. Fuck, imagine one cop from like Gotham to get arrested. And the Batman in one go. But the problem there is he's gotta to have... Everyone's going,

boys, bang bang, you're all fucking going to Arkham. Everyone's under arrest. Everybody, Gotham. I arrest Gotham. Hands up! Superman, I need some real big cups.

Get that building and that building. Gotham. Take him into the station. Superman, I need some real big cops. Get that building and that building. Cuff them. Take them into the station. Drag them in. No, I think you're right. Because you think about it, Batman goes into Iceberg Lounge, punches the bartender, and he's like, I know you're doing illegitimate business here.

The cops come and be like, all right, everyone settle down. What's going on here? He's like, we're you're doing illegitimate business here. The cops come and be like, all right, everyone settle down. What's going on here? It's like, we're just bar staff or whatever. This fucking bat cunt dressed up in leather smacked our boy. Right. You're coming with me because I know you aren't meant to be here, Batman, and you're a business. Yeah, absolutely.

Hang on. How many Batman villains does Batman take down? absolutely hang on how many batman villains does batman take down when he like like so batman can operate outside of the boundaries of the law but how many times is he doing something where the cops couldn't just come in and arrest them if like so every time this is really hard to explain and i'm doing a bad job i'm going to give it one last crack i'm excited because i still don't really know what you mean i'm looking forward to it all right so batman operates outside of the boundaries of the law he can fight whenever he wants. If he knows the Two-Face is around,

he can just beat the shit out of the Two-Face unprovoked. Correct. How many times, though, is the Two-Face or Joker or Penguin or something actually not doing something illegal when Batman acts? Could Bruce Wayne just be a cop, and then he doesn't need henchmen, the police are his henchmen? Yes. And do you know what?

I argued this in past episodes episodes and you yelled at me. No, no, no, no. No, you said that Bruce Wayne would be better off not being Batman and doing fuck all and managing his money just sitting in his fucking- In his fucking ivory tower. 1% ivory tower. I mean, he should get down to our boys in blue. So he should join the police force. He should just, yeah. Yeah. He should get down to our boys in blue. So he should join the police force.

He should just, yeah. He should be, like, because if he gets into, like, a Commissioner Gordon sort of thing, and he would if he arrested all of Gotham, just, like, stood, Wayne Cobb, shot into the sky a few times, like, right, everyone, you're coming with me. Line up. Line up.

On your knees, hands behind your back, Gotham. So, yeah, I mean, I guess then, yeah His police force would be his henchmen But they're just the cops And I think, weirdly, I think henchmen is just a name That we choose for people who are on the bad guy's side Because I think a good guy could have henchmen At times, Avengers henchmen is S.H.I.E.L.D.

I think Quite often When it comes down to it, if a superhero needs henchmen. He's got the government. They've got the henchmen they need in the government or the police force. If you look at the Ultimate storyline. I often do. I don't.

Ultimate. What are we talking about? The very first run of Ultimate is Captain America and that. And they're taking down basically a version of the Skrulls. But they're working with S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. The S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are basically their henchmen. So, you know what? They do have henchmen.

We've lied to everyone in this episode. We asked, why don't superheroes have henchmen? That's your answer, they do. It's the cops. Superheroes are each other's henchmen. Profound. I am nothing if not profound so i guess if you wanted to be a henchman for the avengers become a shield or become a cop become a cop yeah arrest gotham arrest gotham best way to get best way to fill the jails but

also best way to get a promotion it's also like you know it looks like superman i mean batman he wants to stop crime if If you arrest Gotham. That's a lot of crime gone. Done, like you did it. Or you'd be like, hey, let's make all crime legal. That's it. It also solves it. Actually, I come to think of it, if Bruce Wayne became police chief. All right, first rule of order, embezzlement, not a crime.

Embezzlement for 20 years, previous, not a crime. Batman, it's not really your place to make that decision. not a crime embezzlement for 20 years later previous not a crime Batman it's not really your place to make that it's not a crime that's actually like for a supreme justice right

who's the supreme justice supreme justice hates all this money embezzlement is not a crime Batman became the thing he hated that's a tragedy it would be cool to see

he became a lobbyist it would be cool to see a police force just like made of of the Batman gadgets. So instead of him being like, keeping it for me, he's like, I'm giving it to the Gotham police force. Oh, I forgive everybody gadgets and it's a militia again. Ah, fuck it is.

Wait, but then wouldn't advancing any kind of police kind of equipment be- Yeah, but if- No, but not if- Hang on. A militia is someone who's working outside the government because if you're giving the government people

equipment and stuff that's not a militia that's still technically the government yes war crimes no that's probably what

it's going to turn into no how because you're going to give everyone weapons of mass destruction no no no what

no because I'm thinking like Tony no okay I'm thinking Tony Stark again and I was thinking like what if everyone was Iron Man which would be the And I was thinking, what if everyone was Iron Man? Which would be the similar thing if everyone was Batman. If everyone is Iron Man, it's Cold War.

But if everyone's Batman, that's not too bad because he doesn't have weapons of destruction. But it's also real bad because it's going to give certain people massive advantages. Like what? Like if you give all the cops Batman gear. That's not too bad, is it? Well, the only problem there is that you've only given Gotham cops.

Well, they need it. Yeah, but like... But like... Batman has expired nationwide. Do you know what's funny? If you give all the Batman cops... If you give all the Gotham cops Batman suits, there's going to be Batman with a gun times like 100.

And then actual Batman is going to look like a puss. Yeah. Why don't you shoot someone, Batman? going to look like a puss. Yeah. Why don't you shoot someone, Batman? I can't, it's against my code. That Batman just shot like four bad guys. They gave him a medal. You know, have you seen the crime statistics? Batman, you idiot.

If there's a murder in place and you have to shoot the man to stop the murder, that's fine. Yeah. Batman, what's wrong with you? You're a fucking idiot. You're a bad cop, Batman. Batman is like two grown men in a room full of children, and both of them have a gun. And one of them is shooting around, and the other one could shoot that other person down.

You take that shot. Yeah. You idiot. You're a dumb man, Batman. But no, if Batman was, you know, rolling out his technology and you could say start in Gotham and then you have the idea of like that.

Because I mean, look at like technology as in our real world. Like, you know, police today have better equipment than police, you know, in the 1800s. Yeah, but that's equipment. I mean, like, I guess-. That would be like if we went from 1800s to now in three days.

Batman shouldn't have that much tech. Iron Man shouldn't have that much tech. Hang on, wait. This comes down to, in real life if we gave cops assault rifles no one would be happy. It's the same thing. Even in police states.

That's what you end up when you give a superhero that's what I've been trying to get at this whole time. no one would be happy it's the same thing but like actually it is in police states yeah yeah that's what you end up when you give a superhero that's what I've been trying to get at this whole time a superhero decides the law

so if you give a superhero henchman then the henchman become the law so it's police state so it becomes a police state and that's dangerous

I don't want to live in spider-man's police state we don't want a coup I don't want a coup Samit you could be inciting a coup I don't want a coup in Spider-Man's police state. We don't want a coup. I don't want a coup, Samet. You could be inciting a coup. I don't want a coup unless the coup is for me.

I don't want a coup unless the coup is for me or against me. That's the only way you can have a coup. Well, if it's against me, that means I'm king. No, no, no. There's three different types of coups you can experience. For you, against you, or you're just there. Yeah, I don't care. I don't want to be just there

I want it to be the for me or against me we're instating Jackson or we're getting rid of Jackson either one I'm happy with I don't like police states fuck cops Batman become a cop

they're my messages for today but then if he becomes a cop then what he's going to do is he's going to give his gadgets to his mates don't do that Batman then what's going to happen that's illegal

then that you know then it's even worse because what Batman he'll just start a Bat family within the cops. Fuck, Batman. Every time we do an episode like this, it just gives me the shits. Batman should be in jail. He should be in jail.

Yeah. I agree. Fucking Justice League my ass. More like Crime League. Yeah. Dickheads. And see, the best thing, what you need to be doing there is like, for example, with Iron Man suits, same with Batman stuff, is, like, you take some of the defensive abilities, and so then you, like, make the police or whoever, the people who are there to protect the citizens, at least a bit more protected so that there's no injury.

Just give them the armor, Batman. Yeah. And throw out your gadgets. Give Iron Man suits to cripples. Yeah. That's also a good point. Yeah. Yeah.

But that's not what we're arguing. yeah also a good point yeah yeah but that's not what we're arguing if batman and iron man don't they have like equipment or weapons that don't kill but like stabilize so it's not like fuck batman sometimes shoots a gun at people like you didn't kill him i just shot him but like like a stun gun in kind of like tasers but like yeah a little bit less harsh than you'd still get a police state because like the moment that you overpower the cops you're in trouble yeah um problem there is the current the criminals would then just kind of like kind of get like cut in yeah the previous season i guess so like the previous yeah tech and then it'd just be a war between the crims and the police that sounds like a police state to me that sounds like a police state and it sounds like the superheroes should

not only not have henchmen, they should just not. Yeah. I think, honestly, the superheroes should just quit. Maybe they themselves should join S.H.I.E.L.D. Yep. Oh, hang on. What if a S.H.I.E.L.D.

Oh, no, because sometimes S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Hydra. I know. That's the one rule. What if a government organization uses superheroes as henchmen? No. What if we flip that script?

That's wrong as well. No, because... Superheroes are WMDs. Yeah, and also, like, superheroes and supervillains are the same, two different sides of the same coin. You remove one, you're removing both.

So there wouldn't be a Joker without Batman. Batman stopped fighting crime. That's just, like, bullshit, poetic... Justice. Like, literature, really. Like literature really. Like just because it's a Batman doesn't mean it needs to be Joker. No, Joker's like my whole purpose is Batman. If Batman was gone, he's like, I don't know what I'd do.

That actually happens. He said that so many times. He says it like he doesn't stop saying it. I know, but like. It doesn't make sense. You're disagreeing. You're saying if Batman dropped out, Joker would just find someone else. Probably.

I reckon Joker would kill himself. But also like. Yeah, I think Joker would just either top himself or just go. I feel like he has. Again, those words are written by a writer. Fuck! Comic books aren't real! Shit! That kind of line is kind of

stupid. You know what else is stupid? No, but it's the truth within the world of the comic book. Within the world of the comic book? Without that, man, Joker doesn't want to fuck around. Look, so, like, that's a bit stupid. You know what else is stupid? Spider-Man killing someone with cum. You know what else is fucking stupid?

Doc Ock being controlled by his robot limbs after he's dead. Comic books are dumb, Zammit. They are. You either read them or you don't, but either way, they're stupid. Yeah, they are stupid. So, a government organization getting like, basically, super henchmen. Don't hate it organization getting, like, basically super henchmen. Don't hate it.

To be like, you just make them. I think you need a police state when it comes to the DC or Marvel Universe because otherwise it's fucked. It's fine as is. It's rocking along. No, you don't need a police state because if you get a police state, then you just have, it's like if you just let a bad guy win. Yeah.

What about the 50 state initiative? Because that's a new like the uh 50 state initiative that's kind of like getting super henchmen what's the 50 state initiative basically like all right things were pretty bad after the stanford going so like what we're going to do is uh we're going to basically make like a training facility and get like all the people who are who are super powered because fuck there's a lot of you. Oh, yeah. Stacks. And basically, what we're going to do is we're going to train you so you're like, yeah.

That's a fact. That's ridiculous. We're going to train you so you're not, you know, completely and utterly idiots. Yeah. And then we're going to get you into teams

and then you're going to kind of get a state each and you're going to kind of be that Avenger for that team, like that state. So, an Avengers for every state.

Basically, yeah. A mini Avengers for every state. Yeah. I feel like we've had this argument, Zach. Like, I don't want to kind of continue my next sentence. What's your next sentence? Because that's all information I'm going to give. I mean, that's bad because you know what's going to happen?

Like, there's shit superheroes and there's good superheroes and they're not going to be evenly teamed up. Also, what's going to happen is you're going to get superheroes like fucking, let's just go with Tony Stark for the time being. No. Steve Rogers who is just like, oh, surprise, I'm a Nazi. Superheroes go bad so often. Yeah. And like, I don't

know how I found myself here again, but you're giving an incredibly powerful person a state. You're giving one person a state. That sounds like a monarchy, actually. It's a team Still So basically like Like giving every state a royal family

Yeah Kind of Destroy the monarchy Because Are you guys okay with just The Avengers like having New York? No That's kind of what I already have

This is a way of making it statewide No I'm not okay with any of it Yeah they end up being infiltrated by Skrulls Yeah Yeah What a surprise Everything's Skrulls. Yeah. Yeah. What a surprise. Everything's Skrulls or fucking Hydra.

And if it's DC, then it turns out everyone's secretly the Joker or a dead Robin. Yeah. Look, I think... I guess it's all pretty bad. We've explored, I think, every aspect of this now. And it's safe to say that superheroes don't have henchmen because it makes them bad. Even if they could have henchmen and still stay good, it would be a terrible decision.

Don't give cops all of your shit. Then you get a police state. Don't give Avengers each a state because they'll turn into Skrulls. Yeah, they do. And what I just said before, everything's either Hydra, Skrulls, or a dead Robin, or maybe a Joker. So what's the best solution?

Just keep trucking along. It works fine. So just like have the status quo? Yeah, status quo does the job. No, retire if you're a Joker. So what's the best solution? Just keep trucking along. It works fine. So just like this kind of the status quo? Yeah, status quo does the job. No, retire if you're a superhero. See, call Joker out on his bullshit. I'm just assuming all superheroes operate like that. Everyone does a flip.

Like, not just like a physical flip, although neat. And they can, they're very fit. Superheroes and supervillains, let's swap. Let's see what happens. Flip the script. See how well they can operate without henchmen and see how well the other side can operate with henchmen. I just meant like make Superman evil.

Make like so good. But like yours works too. That's happened a lot. Yours is arguably more relevant. I guess. I think that when it comes down to it, everyone should just stop what they're doing. Think about it.

And if you're a good guy, join the police force. If you're a bad guy, go to jail. But then we have that problem with the police force having a superpower. No, not- What if Clark- Fuck off Earth. What if Clark- Yeah, what if Clark can't join the cops and then he's like super strong?

He's in space now. He's gone. Bye. Hang on. But then how do we feel about Green Lantern Corps? Because they're just space cops. Well, because in space, fucking dickheads have crazy powers. Earth just needs to fucking catch up.

But then they have like three operators operating on Earth. That's fine. They are controlled by like a personification of willpower. That's a higher power, like a legit one. They can rule us. That's fine. Anyway, I want to get rid of them all. So like, that's the best goal.

I don't want to depower anyone, but I'm happy for everyone to go into retirement. Let's watchman this. I'm a, if it's going to be hard to convince the henchman. Sorry, do sure. I think I'm on team Jack.

What? You are arguing the opposite. I mean, that's fine with me. You're both bad blokes where I just sat on the fence and I leave this morally fine. You guys, cause they're not going to say they're not going to stay happy.

They're not going to retire. So you're just going to bang, bang, two bullets in the brain? Bang, bang. Got him. That's the super food chain, baby. That's the bloody food chain, baby. Bang, bang. Got superpowers?

Bad luck. Catch these bullets, bro, with your brain. Because if you get rid of all the superheroes and villains, you just end up with this Earth, and this Earth is fake. I'd like to be idealized. If you get rid of all the superheroes and villains you just end up with this earth and this earth is like I'd like to be ideal as is in the universe you're still going to have henchmen so it's just gang violence I'd like to be idealistic

and say a lot of these things but every time I'm trying what about this it's like you know it's like this is going to happen that's eventuality and it's scary because that is you're like hey can't win you can't win that's just Noah's Ark to Mars get two of every animal put them in a spaceship That is. You're like, hey. Can't win? You can't win. That's just Noah's Ark. To Mars?

To Mars. Get two of every animal, put them in a spaceship, send it to Mars. Perfect. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. Everyone's bad in comic books, and comic books are bad. Just kidding.

They're fine. Saga's real good. Saga's so good. So is Why the Last Man. The Vision comic books are good too. Comics are good. I'm sold again. That was an alright turnaround.

Please can someone read Strangers in Paradise? It's so fucking good. You've told me so many times. I know. I haven't. I know. I'm probably not going to. Yeah, I won't either. That's fine.

Oh, wait, maybe. You were right about Why the Last Man. And Saga. I'm probably still going to read it. Oh, you were right about that the Last Man. And Saga. I'm probably still not going to read it. Oh, you were right about that Bagged... Lions of Bagged. I forget what it's called. Strength?

No. Pride? Pride. Pride of Bagged. That was sad. No, it was good. Anyway. See you.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening. It's a rich man's game, no matter what they call it. When you spend your life, put money in his pocket. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support the show, why not become a member at SandsPantsPlus.com and get early access to our shows, a bunch of exclusive content, and much, much more. That's SandsPantsPlus.com.