Plumbing the Death Star - Would It Really Be Nice if the World Was Cadbury?

Episode Date: April 9, 2017

In which our heroes become chocolate, try their best to survive, and then change the world in a fundamental way as they ask if it would really be nice if the world was Cadbury?Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for the Sydney Comedy Fest and Brisbane show right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Duscher: twitter.com/dusch13Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Every kind of purple, pastel, too. And if the dog did try and grab a mouthful, you can bite him back, he'll taste delightful. Wouldn't it be nice? So for our international listeners who might have no idea what we're talking about. And our listeners from Australia that are probably under the age of 20. There was an advertisement a while back which had the song, a parody of the song, Wouldn't It Be Nice? Is that what it's called?

Yeah, wouldn't it be nice if the world was something I know it was a Cadbury song. Man, you sang that to the wrong tune. It's a Beach Boys song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in it, it's Wouldn't It Be Nice if the World Was Cadbury the chocolate brand. And it's about a world entirely made of

chocolate. And in it, a shark bites a boy's bum. But it's okay because both the shark and the boy's bum are made of chocolate yeah and like a lad eats his mate yeah and it's fine because everybody is chocolate everybody's specifically cadbury brand chocolate which is like look paid avatar it's not a paid advertisement but cadbury is a good brand of chocolate it's quite tasty okay so in the in the advert ad of it, you can see a postman gets bit by a dog

and he just bites the dog straight back. They both get a bit of chocolatey goodness and then they leave. Cadbury grows on trees. That's pretty nice. I mean, everything's chocolate. There's nothing that isn't chocolate. I do have the lyrics for all advertisements if you'd like me to read them out.

We'll go through a little bit, see how good this world is. Okay, let's talk. Let's discuss wouldn't it be nice? Would it be nice? Immediately I want to say no. Because I don't want to melt. I just want to say the sun. That's going to be a problem. But it's the sun, also chocolate.

Is there temperature in this Cadbury hell? It can't be. Objection. Hell is fucking... Not slander. Connotation. Yeah, the connotations behind hell. Okay.

Well, because if there is no temperature, then regardless of the fact that the world is Cadbury, it's also terrifying. I don't want to live in a world that has no weather. No, there's temperature. It's just a constant. It needs to be. Yeah, it needs to be a a world that has no Weather No there's temperature It's just a constant It needs to be Yeah it needs to be a constant

It has to be Wait what is the Do you freeze at night? Nah What's the melting temperature of chocolate? Because it's however hot that is That's where it has to It can never go to that temperature

What if you have a bath? Do you turn into a soup? The bath is chocolate as well But I guess it's water chocolate Because in one of the advertisements, he's in the sea. Yeah. He's surfing. He's surfing.

So there must be melted. So it has to be slightly melted chocolate. So you could turn on a hot water tap. And that's going to be slightly warm. At least to that point where chocolate's the liquid. But if you didn't get into that, wouldn't you then just become the bath? Oh, no. It would be fucking hell. Because imagine. No. If you didn't get into that, wouldn't you then just become the bath? Oh, no.

It would be fucking hell. Because imagine, no. Like, don't even imagine the world and everything being chocolate. Imagine a world now where everything is human. Yeah, I was thinking that. It wouldn't even be nice if the world was skin. Where do you and the world begin? Yeah, where do you begin?

Because if you melt into the bath, and you are the bath and you are also you. But then you're also the tub. But the tub is also the tiles, which is the house, which is the ground, which is everything else. You've got a chocolate brain. Yeah. Are you your chocolate brain or are you your chocolate body? Yeah. Can I take my chocolate brain out and put it in the shark?

But is that all the same thing? Are we all one chocolate organism? Yeah. You know that idea in D&D with a mimic? You always have that idea of a town that is all one mimic? That! Could we envision a world where the Cadbury world is a parasite? Yes.

That is dropped from an alien, like a meteorite lands and there's like a little bit of chocolate and somebody touches it and it envelops their hand and up their body until eventually the whole world becomes Cadbury. Yeah. It's like a grey goo. It's a grey goo. It's a brown goo scenario. It's a brown chocolatey tasty goo scenario.

But then also like, would you like the taste of chocolate if everything was chocolate? If I was chocolate, I would always be tasting chocolate. Everything is chocolate. Like, any vegetable is basically just vegetable-shaped chocolate. Everything is whatever it is shaped chocolate. How deep does it go? To the core, I would assume. But then is the core chocolate?

Yes. Has Earth stopped spinning? Everything is chocolate. Is space chocolate? Can we escape to Mars? That would have to be chocolate as well. What if I'm... Wouldn't it be nice if every...

Is it everything or the world? The world. Wouldn't it be nice if... The world was Cadbury. Wouldn't it be nice if the world were Cadbury? All right. So the idea would then be to escape the world to somewhere else. However, Cadbury is not chocolate.

So while things are chocolate, other things are gummy. Oh, hey, that's not so bad. Maybe we got gummy organs. And also, this is the world, not the universe. So the sun's probably still the sun. So that's going to melt us good. So we're dead. Move on.

Game over. That's the end. Well, I guess it's's like and this is real nasty is that during the sun during the day you hide out because otherwise you'll melt

in your chocolate house in your chocolate well I mean you have to go underground because underground it'll be cooler that's just that's just the way it is

it's just science so the planet is like scorched like it just and then at night it would freeze again yeah presumably

but if everything's chocolate you know what's gonna happen yeah during the day it it's going to melt away, like, the surface, and then it would re- like, freeze, I guess, at night, which is like what you just said. But then, like, imagine how fucked

the- because it's not just, like, scorches and, like, oh, there's no trees and shit. Every night it would be reshaped, and it would be grosser and grosser. The world would no longer look like- it's an apocalypse. Yeah, every night is going to be this weird chocolatey soup with bits of gummy and marshmallow fluff and everything

just being mixed around the and nuts. That's where you get your protein. It'd be a water world. But like then it would be an ice world. Because the water, it would be basically like a liquid during the day and then at night it would freeze.

Yeah, but it's also a water world where you're also water. Yeah, which keeps spinning. You'd be part of that world. You'd be a world. You'd be part of that world. There'd be millions of souls screaming in this chocolatey soup. I'm assuming we can survive on just chocolate within this scenario. We're not just all-

No, no, no. You're not surviving on chocolate. You are chocolate, Jack. You are one with the world. Do I need to eat is my question. You can't. I can still put stuff in my mouth. Because you eat chocolate, you shit out chocolate.

I'm eating gummy too. Would you turn into chocolate? But then also, like, would you want to eat something you're made out of? Would I want to shit gummy? Would you need to? Because everything is Cadbury, so you wouldn't need to do anything because your taste buds would be Cadbury.

Everything is Cadbury. I'd want to go. I don't want to live here anymore. You can't escape this. Make a Cadbury rocket. Because your rocket is made of Cadbury, and if you have any parts that cause fire, you would melt this ship. And also the world. And the things

around you. We are stuck in this Cadbury soup of hell. You were right when you said it was a hell. If you microwave a marshmallow for a second, it expands. Yes. So we build a rocket ship, place it

on marshmallows, blast those marshmallows with radiation, bounce ourselves into space. What are we going to do in space, which is closer to the sun? But by that point, Jack, we're already chocolate. Because one thing that, space is cold, but spaceships need to have UV protection

because the sun... The moment we tried to leave the atmosphere, we just melt. Drip down as a chocolate rain. into the chocolate soup joining our brethren here in the cadbury world you'd live underground you would have to live underground there's no underground yeah but well there is underground it's like a thick chocolate yeah but i mean then you'd be out of the sun you'd like i mean there was an underground civilization i guess i guess you'd have to carve a lot of chocolate yeah We'd have to become chocolate mole men. You'd get a chocolate shovel and dig a chocolate hole.

Yeah, you'd eat your way through. We also have an issue of chocolate v. chocolate. Yeah. Like, could you dig a hole? Oh, is chocolate as strong as chocolate? Well, like... You'd have to sharpen that one bit of chocolate. No, but then, like, sharpening chocolate doesn't make it stronger.

No, you'd have to do it like a mole. You'd be, like, eating your teeth of chocolate. No, but then like sharpening chocolate doesn't make it stronger. No, you'd have to do this like a mole. You'd be like eating your teeth of chocolate. Can we break the world? I don't know if you could dig a hole on a cabaret. Because also, look, say for example, because there's no point in this because you're there, I'm there next to you. It's melty. We then melt

into each other. The puddle freezes. We are me and you, but the ground. We are part of the world. You see what I'm talking about? Well, you stay away from the sun, then! I know, but no matter what happens, every bit of chocolate's gonna melt at some point. I'm assuming I am my own individual

chocolate. You can't be! Why not? Well, you can have your own individual brain, but you're gonna be... Yeah, I've got my own chocolate brain! The brain will melt into the chocolate soup. I'm never going in the sun. I live underground. How you're getting underground is my issue because I don't think you're going to be able to make anything. Presumably the dirt is like dirt.

It's not hard. Why would it be hard? Because the dirt's going to then... The dirt will be like inside a chocolate. You know, you get bubble chocolate. Yeah. Yeah, it's weaker than the hard chocolate. Dig a hole.

You know how like when you're at the beach and like it's easy to dig like maybe like up to your elbow. And then it gets real hard all of a sudden. Yeah, that. You know how like shovels struggle to get through that? And that's sand. And it's going to be like slate chocolate. Hard slabs. And also it's like real thick.

Get the, you know that sharp glass mint shit? Yeah. Yeah, use that. Dig with that. I just think we're all- You've given up too quick. We're going to become a soup, mate. I don't want to race the soup.

Also, when you go towards the center of the earth, Jack, that's where you're going to find the sweet spot. No, but there's also- It's hot. Yeah, I know. It gets hotter the further down you go But that's a wild It gets colder That's what I mean it gets colder and then hotter

I'm not getting to the hot bit No but I'm saying The core of the earth is very hot And it'll just keep melting the chocolate Because chocolate's gonna melt quicker Than say Dirt and tectonic plates and all the other crap that we have in this world

but eventually it's not going to be able to reach the inside but no because for example you have a very tiny little the core of the earth so then it's going to keep everything around there is going to heat up and then that's going to be hot which will cause it further and further to get hot

and it's going to be a melty fucking soup. I don't think that's how it works. It would reach a point where it's melted everything, and then the heat could no longer reach the extra stuff. You might make the world more fragile. Wouldn't it be nice if the world was fragile? It would be like a Cadbury egg. You just cut a crack on your head.

Crack it, and out comes the goo. Yeah, like, nah, this is fucked. No, I think you could live underground. You get those shards. You know that hard, shardy mint? You get them. You fashion that into a shop. All right.

How are you fashioning it? Napping. K-N-A-P-P-I-N-G like my bloody caveman answers. What are you using to nap that? I'm using mint to nap mint. You're going down this tunnel, right? Yep. You clearly have a hole to go down to, yeah?

Yeah. So you're in this tunnel system. You've made this whole big cavernous system. Yep. Now, the world above you is starting to melt. Yeah, but it freezes every night. No, but it's going to melt. It'll come down this hot, liquidy chocolate to consume you.

Got to keep it out. Everything around that lid is like the tunnel is chocolate. I will surely get deep enough at a certain point. I don't need to breathe. I don't to consume you. Got to keep it. Got to keep it out. Everything around that lid is like the tunnel is chocolate. I will surely get deep enough at a certain point. I don't need to breathe. I don't need to eat. It'll trickle down. We're fucked. Yeah, the moment you dig a hole, you'd have to cover up the hole.

Look how quickly you give up. Look how quickly you give up. There is no exit here, Jack. Make a mushroom boat. No, marshmallow. Boat. Introducing new cabriolet mushrooms.

Chocolate coated mushrooms. Delicious. Delicious. Yeah. I just, I think this is... And a boat, you're going to be at sea and then you'll melt and then you'll just be liquid on a boat. Also all the animals, all the

people, all the consciousness I'm assuming is being absorbed in the world and then they're going to be like, we want everyone. I know I'd be convincing the world to do that. Consume everything. Brown goo. Why did you just embrace the brown goo

so quick? Easy. Why aren't you fighting? Why fight? Because there's no fighting this. Also, then we can all be a collective consciousness, and that's real good. I don't want to be a brown goo. No, that's good. No one wants to be a brown goo, Jack. It's just reality. It's just reality.

This is our life now. This is our world now. It's how the world works. We are a giant... Yeah, we are one collective consciousness. Also, in a world with Calvary, no one dies anymore. Because there's no life anymore. Excellent. I'm glad that I'm an eternal brown goo.

Hooray! Hurrah! All your thoughts are no longer your own, Jack. Is there a way to kill yourself? No! I hate it. We've purged the world of sin. It's perfect And that was what the goal of Cadbury

The whole time We've finally got a utopia You have made a utopia There's no crime No wars Nothing Just an ocean of brown goo No art

No creativity None No progression, nothing new We've hit the end of evolution No humanity, just goo No animals, no trees, just goo Nothing, minerals are goo It's the final form

It's a shared consciousness You just have to hope that you are a gummy baby Yes Because then you can float around in that sea of chocolate Gummy doesn't melt properly or form. It's a shared consciousness. You just have to hope that you are a gummy baby. Yes. Because then you can float around in that sea of chocolate. Gummy doesn't melt properly in the sun. You'll be deformed. That's fine. It's better than being part of your hideous brown goo.

It's the last step of human evolution. If I'm gummy, I'm floating on cracker in the brown goo ocean. The only way that you can survive if you have a gummy brain And that brain will just hover around Float around in the endless Brown void

I choose that Help me purge the world of sin No Make human beings perfect again Actually if we go with this gummy brain idea Yes So if you're a gummy brain You could somehow

Would you have the way out of To try and coat yourself in chocolate go with this gummy brain idea yes so if you're a gummy brain if you could somehow like would you have a body out of where without you to try and like coat yourself in chocolate and then try and form a body i don't think like as it sort of hardens i feel like the brown goo people wouldn't let me i feel like you'd suck me down but if the brown goo is basically all our bodies and everyone will have a brain right everyone has a gummy brain. So it's like a sea of that. So we basically shed our physical bodies. We shed our physical form to remain as just gummy brains that can choose whatever outward appearance we want by moulding it out of the chocolate ether.

Yeah, basically. That's a lot nicer than the brown goo. Because then we could be anything. Yeah. We could be a shark biting a bum. Or a horseman biting a dog.'s all right that's pure why don't we give you whatever we like in this yeah that's gummy power i mean that's that's paradise cabri brown goo is cadbury hell gummy brains is cadbury heaven would you be like i'm thinking because if your brain would be a gummy would all your organs then also that's what i was imagining like you're in turn like if you

cut us open it's like because then you're dying because if all your organs then also be that's what I was imagining like if you cut us open nah cause then you're dying cause if all your yeah cause if everything's chocolate then it's fine because like you're not changing the atmosphere

in which your organs exist so therefore even if they're melted ish you're still sweet you're good but I don't know if we're

internal organs are gummy then like we might die but like brown hey that's alright I'm team brown goo live forever live forever Logan's a gummy, then we might die. But like, hey, that's alright. I'm team brown goo.

Live forever. Live forever as a goo. You want us to accept your brown goo kingdom. It's the end of human evolution. Like, we did it. High score. Like, we started as fucking things. What are they called?

Whatever humanity, whatever the universe started as. Particles. We started as like primordial soup We ended as chocolate soup Perfect Full circle Full circle No sin What if it was coming?

What if we knew that Ah right Never mind Not what if it was orgasming Who knows where I'd go from there That would hurt You're going to try and off yourself straight away Because sex Your dick wouldn't work right Who knows where I'd go for it. That would hurt. You're going to try and off yourself straight away because sex, your dick wouldn't work, right?

No, you basically turned your semen into acid because it has to be a little bit warmer than your body so you'd melt your dick off. You melt from the inside. And then whoever you hit also melts them. Nobody has babies anymore. You're all brown goo. But what if we weren't chocolate, but what if it was coming?

So we know that on the other side of the world, this chocolate comet has landed, and the chocolate is sweeping the planet, coming toward us. Do you give up then? No, we escape. We've got to leave. We've got to leave this Earth. Where to?

Mars. The moon Somewhere else It's funny because Mars is another chocolate brand So like I just keep imagining we get to Mars Imagine Imagine That's Mars bars

And just like fuck Should have seen this coming Damn it Milky Way is Oh Oh There's nowhere to be safe Could you combat the chocolate goo?

You'd try and melt it as much as you could, but it depends on the rate that it's... Or you're trying to freeze it, actually. Depends on the rate of how much the chocolate is consuming the world. And how it's transforming us. Transforminus. I'm assuming it's great gooing. It's attaching itself to the atoms.

Because you kind of contain it in, say, a glass jar or whatever. It could then make that glass. That glass into, yeah. Chocolate. So it'd be a triangle. It'd be a. You would want to be as cold as possible. Yeah.

Because it would freeze before it got to you, surely. Yeah. Surely it's safe if it's melted, right? Right? You'd be cold. Cold. You want cold. Yeah, yeah.

So you. We go to Antarctica. Everybody stays in Antarctica where the chocolate can't reach us. Yeah. Do we survive? Off penguins. We go to Antarctica Everybody stays in Antarctica where the chocolate can't reach us Yeah Do we survive Off penguins I guess we can eat penguins and melt snow The last vestiges of humanity

Because I'm Yeah Because what I was wondering is like say it didn't get us It reached the edges of Antarctica Or the edges of the world and we survived And it's no longer transforming people Would it be nice if the world was Cadbury but we weren't? Is my question

No No, that's worse Because we're stuck in Brown goo or broke Well, we're stuck in basically extreme temperatures You have to go either somewhere really hot or somewhere really cold Okay Because I feel both of those would at least stop the Cadbury from consuming.

And I'm not good in extreme temperatures. Can a human being survive on just gummy marshmallow crackers and chocolate milk? No. No. For how long? Like, you'd be... We'd be very unwell within a month. If we survive a month, we'd be not well.

You're so real, proton. Oh, nuts. Nuts. Nuts and some fruit. Chocolate milk is what i'm imagining water has become well no cadbury has like a chocolate milk i think yeah but even with chocolate milk like you're not you what you want to try and do is like burn it a little bit yeah i'm not looking to survive well i'm just looking to survive uh well you okay to answer your first part good i'm glad're not looking to survive well because you're not I'm in trouble

I'm in a lot of trouble I'm not a dietitian or nutritionist but I would say that no I would give you like two months I'm looking at some lists of stuff Cherry ripe, there's your cherries That's good

Some crunchy. So that's like your honeycomb. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty nice. Any meat? Oh, there's caramel. Any meat? Nut nuts.

Fruit and nut. Hazelnut. So there you've got your protein. Look, I found somebody's asked... Has Cadbury made meat? How long can a human being survive eating nothing but cookies and candy? And the answer, a few agonizing months. Roast almonds.

There you go. See, look what you got. Oh, we're going to get scurvy. No vitamin C. Exactly. Cherry ripes. No, no vitamin C. The orange chocolate

Vitamin C No scurvy for these boys Is that made of any oranges or is it just orange flavour? You're 100% getting scurvy We're all getting scurvy Well I'm not getting scurvy because I'm fucking brown goo years ago Spell face first to the chocolate soup While me and Jack are trying everything we can

Just trying to hold off this The last thing you heard of me was a gurgle and then final stage, no more sin Join us, no more sin I'd just like to imagine you were in like a cracker boat, you just reach your hand into the ocean, it just starts consuming up, we're like no, you're like goodbye

Join me brothers I'd stick my hands in and then just try and splash it on my face Get in me. I'd push you out of the boat just try and splash it on my face. Get in me. I'd push you out of the boat. Yeah. What if you spray it on my face? I'll fucking hold on to the boat and turn the boat into it.

Shit. Boats are already crackers. I figured he'd try and capsize us. We're jibbers up to Dusha. We're all in. I don't live on this chocolate planet with you, Dusha. The moment it happens, I'm like, we're going our separate ways. You're going to grey goo me. Chocolate goo me.

Chocolate goo. Brown goo. It's the perfect step in humanity. It's when humanity finally becomes perfect. No more sin. No more prejudice. No more crime. Black, white, raw chocolate goop.

It's all just a soup. It's perfect. It would be nice if the world was cabaret. I disagree. I don't think it would be. I think it's hell. It's hell. It's hell no matter how you

look at it. And it's a hell you never expect. And you don't want to kill yourself because you feel like if you killed yourself, you're part of the goo. You can't die. If you're part of the goo, you're part of the problem. There's no more death. That's the propaganda I spread in the small chocolate towns I

visit. No more death, no more birth, no more hassles. Oh, it is hassle free. It's not! Don't join the goo! Part of the goo, part of the problem, part of the goo, part of the problem. He said upon these chocolate orange

with me, however, children, Father Jackson, fight the scurvy! Eventually we will find salvation. I am salvation. I'm saved. Salvation has come. The goo is a false heaven.

No more hassles. It's a false promise to you. No. It is like a false heaven because there is no death. Oh, perfect. You would become like a religious fanatic. You would become like a Father Jackson type thing, preaching against the goo. I'm doing it now. The goo is hassle-free, though, Jack.

Don't you preach for the goos, Ahmed. I'm not. I'm just like the goo is... No illness? The goo is giving his speech over here. You're giving your speech over there. The goo's kind of convincing me. Is the goo...

Like, how's it given a speech? I figured it would just form a mouth and talk. Can't you see how this is just... Like, what I can imagine. I would form, like, a giant body. Not even a giant body. No, no, no. A head. No, I'm getting big so I can speak to everyone

on Earth at the same time. Getting real big. Because I can do that. We all can. See, you're making it scary. Yep, it's fine. It's only scary to you. It's not scary to us. It's can do that. You can. We all can. See, you're making it scary. Yep, it's fine. It's only scary to you. It's not scary to us. It's not scary to the goo people.

You wouldn't need to convince if you've got that big of a gout on us. Gotcha. Please, everyone join me. We're going to make an arc. Okay, fine. A biscuit arc, and we're going to go to Antarctica

across the goo, and then we'll eat delicious penguin meat. Remember, meat? I was to discover upon the great chocolating that Cadbury had no meat-based products. Something I'm sure we're all

realizing. The Cadbury comment. The Cadbury cometh. The only meat left is in Antarctica. We go there, we farm penguins. We have water again. Remember water? Remember having teeth? How many of you have diabetes?

It's exactly what I thought. And then you just hear from the goo, we don't. There's no such thing as disease or illness or anything. Don't listen to the goo. You've just got like a struggle-free eternal peace. You are making it sound

like, yes, we could survive, but is that living? It's more living than being part of the goo. They have a spokesman. So clearly you have some kind of like, a little individual sentience. I'm assuming that this version of Dusha is all humanity speaking through his mouth.

Well, that's how I operate as is. I am the word of the people. You're the Metatron. You're the word of the people. Yeah. So yeah. I'm taking a small collection of people across the Grey Goo to Antarctica

to live a chilly but non-brown goo based life. I might join you, but I might betray you eventually. If you pop a hole in my biscuit boat, I will stab you. I have a blade carved from the mintiest, sharpest shards.

You stab me, I'll just fall into the goo. Then I win. Good riddance. But then, like, you're... We don't have murder as a goo. That's pretty good. There would be murder on my island. You just said you're going to murder him. That's because he wanted to make us part of the goo. Are you sailing across the brown goo today?

Yeah. I'm just going to turn into a hand and just fucking tip your boat over. We're going to make a plane. Cadbury, thanks for listening. It would be nice if the world was Cadbury. If you're looking for a marketing person, Plum in the Dust are very, very available. It would just be a hell. Brown goo.

No, I'm very team for it. I'm not team for it. I'm team for it if it's happening. It is. There's no fighting this, Jack. You're fighting the inevitable. You fight. You fight till you die.

You are fighting basically the heat death of this world. You can't. There's no escaping this. You don't give up like that. You can't. There's no escaping this. You don't give up like that. You don't give up on humanity, guys. What do you do? It's the next step. You take a small community to Antarctica.

You farm penguins. Eventually those penguins are going to run out. What kind of tiny community are you going to have that you're going to eventually kind of inbreeding is going to be a problem? There's going to be infighting amongst that because it's a small community in a very harsh environment. There's no natural resources there. You are just going to just die in this cold, desolate wasteland. Wouldn't Antarctica melt? So it's either one step forward in human evolution

to become the perfect version of humanity or one step back and can support incest. Your choice, Jackson. I just don't think I can brown goo myself. I just don't think I can do it. Jack, just let go. I just can't. Just let go.

I'll fight till the bitter end, even if I'm the last person alive after eating every other human being on my little piece of paradise in Antarctica. I like the thing, he's got to let go, Jack. And as you just kind of like, your eyes focus in, I'm just like brown chocolate. He's got to let go. This is it.

I will slit my own throat with a piece of peppermint before becoming goo. I'm going to heaven. I'll hug you. I'll drag you in. You can have my dead body. You're just going to get me in before I die. That's your plan. Yeah.

I'm not allowing it. I'm not allowing it. Welcome to evolution, motherfucker. This is playing nice. We're asking. I mean, if you don't want to be part of the brown goo, or the future of humanity, the next step in human evolution,

the perfection of humanity, then that's fine. Kill yourself. We don't need you. Good. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. The only good human in this room. And I've been part of the brown goo. Yeah, you've

been the brown goo. You've been the brown goo. I'm the only one who's been anything. You've been fucking supporting incest. And cannibalism. If you have any input about joining the brown goo i'm the only one who's been anything you've been fucking supporting incest and cannibalism if you have any input about joining the brown goo or any reasons why i shouldn't which i will not listen to tweet us at sans pants radio a lot of obvious reasons why you shouldn't join the go email us at sans pants radio at gmail.com uh we've got a subreddit uh sans pants radio discussions are welcome there.

BrownGoo for life. Hashtag team humanity. Hashtag team humanity's future. Hashtag give up. Hashtag BrownGoo. We just tried to start too many hashtags. Bye. This can't break You could surf inside a chocolate tube Ride your boat across the waves forever Can't wipe out and never get a bruise And if a shark came up and tried to bite you

You could say I'm shocked but I invite you Wouldn't it be nice Thanks for listening. If you want to help support the show, why not become a member at SandsPantsPlus.com and get early access to our shows, a bunch of exclusive content, and much, much more.