Plumbing the Death Star - Would You Join The Rebel Alliance? (Revisited)

Episode Date: August 3, 2025

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Community and Youth Programs. Play responsibly. License RAF 1486859. Come and celebrate Toronto and do everything you want at DX. Hey everyone, huge news. Plumbing the Death Star is doing a live show! That's right, as part of the Cheerfully Awful Podcast Festival, we'll be performing live at Stupid Old Studios in Brunswick's... in Brunswick. In Brunswick! Maybe, like, I don't know, I forget the street, but it'll be there, you'll know where it is. It's on the website. It's gonna be at 6.30pm, Plumbing the Death Star live, and oh, what's that?

Huh? What's that, huh? Maybe I wanna see, I wanna be double Star live, and oh what's that? Huh? Maybe I wanna see, I wanna be double fisted by my favourite three boys? Well hey, we're here to say that can happen to you because we're doing thumb cramps! Yeah so it's Plumbing the Death Star, 6.30pm on Friday the 3rd of October, and then thumb cramps, 8.30pm, Friday the 3rd of October. Same room, same venue, there's a bar, come to both shows, drink in between, be hostile! Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't get a kebab maybe!

I don't know if there's enough time but there might be. And if you can't make it to Brunswick in Victoria and Melbourne, that's okay because you can purchase a streaming ticket as well, you can watch it on your phone, or your TV, or your laptop. Yeah, and because it's all like, oh, ticket prices are gonna be Australian, if you're in a better country than us, doing like better financially and economically, it's going to be so cheap for you. And that means that we can afford bread. Yeah. Yeah. You want us to buy a kebab? This is how you do it. Yeah, this is how you do it. So to

buy tickets, head to cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com or just simply Google Plumbing the Death Star cheerful earful or Alternatively and fingers crossed all of this is in the show notes below. We're gonna do a scroll down Yeah, and the link will be there tickets are $30 for each show or if you're coming to both There is a double pass available, which is both shows for $50 wonderful deal Exactly if you are part of the bad brain boys or thumb cramps plus You know your paid subscriber to one of our shows. There is a discount code. It is in the Discord in announcements. Use that.

We're not gonna reveal what it is here because that would defeat the purpose. Yeah, exactly. Or purpose, as I just said. It would defeat the purpose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So hey, once again, just google Plumbing the Dark Star, Cheerful Eiffel, or check the show notes. October 3rd, Stupid Old Studios, part of the cheerful little podcast festival tickets are limited So if you're thinking yeah, I'll go to that but I'm gonna wait three months to buy tickets

I would not recommend it. Don't do that. None of that especially because I think in three months the show is over Yeah, you're missed. Yeah If you're gonna wait two months also don't do that Anyway plumbing the rest are cheerful air full podcast festival thumb cramps cheerfully a full podcast festival Yeah, if you're gonna wait two months also don't do that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Anyway, Plum in the Nest Star, Cheerful Airful Podcast Festival, Thumb Cramps, Cheerful Airful Podcast Festival, Superdoll Studios, Friday 3rd of October, be there! Hey everyone and welcome to the final episode 600 of 600 month The final episode. Did he say welcomed? I think he said welcome. Mmm, off to a red-hot start. The final episode welcome After 600 episodes, I'm still really good at the intro

This is a 600 episode but just to remind you Comedy pop culture podcasts ask the important questions. I'm Joe. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joe. I did the thing that I did last week again, where I said the second pop voice in our games. Yeah, thrown me immediately. Shut up. You shut up too. I'm not listening. What's the question? What are we talking about? Well, the question is, and we threw this to our audience because we said hey we're redoing topics that we've whiffed in the past. So we were just like hey which one do you want us to redo? And our audience said hey remember this episode? This one was really good, do this one again.

That's not what we wanted to do. No! Wrong answer! Those were great! They were both big episodes! We nailed them! Hey, hey fans, if we took an episode that you loved, and then we redid it and it's different to how you love it, which it will be, you're gonna like it less. Exactly dude. So, we looked at your answers and we've gone, damn, they didn't understand this at all. And then we've gone back to our archive and been like, hey, remember that time this episode stunk? Let's do that one again.

So today we're asking important questions. Would you join the Rebel Alliance? ["The Rebel Alliance Theme"] So this is our very second live show we ever did. Our very second ever live show. Yes. Okay. We were young.

We were fresh. We didn't know what we were doing, dude. Fame had gone to our heads. We'd crushed the first live show. Exactly, dude. We said, podcasts don't do live podcasts yet Why not then we did the first one like why not this show went for five hours and we charged like four dollars I believe it was free

There were heaps of people there that we didn't expect that we were losing our minds. Let's do it again Yeah, and then we go all right the topic this time the first topic. What was the first live? I don't fucking say what was the first live episode? I don't remember. Who can fucking say, dude? Well, the second live one, so you know, when, you know, especially when we're doing live episodes, and if you go look at the Plum in the Death Star live feed, you'll see all the topics you do for live episodes

are relatively open-ended. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, give us space to discuss. We like to do something where we can each pick an answer, and we can talk over and around, you know give us space to discuss we like to do something where we can each pick an answer Yeah, talk over and around you know petition almost Because these early episodes that we did live are probably good like you know training grounds Yes, we figured what didn't didn't work for us and for the exactly like asking a question that obviously might have a yes or no These days we try to avoid, but...

Yeah! I was gonna say our first episode, but that can't be right. Yeah. Or maybe... What? You know what? No, it is. Our very first live episode was, what is the worst fictional universe again?

The again really confused dude. Nice. I'm in the North Star, stay winning. I'll tell you what. In 2015, we said, hey we're doing our first live episode. It's a sequel episode. Yeah, that's awesome. And then our second episode, which also was in 2015, so we're like, we're feeling good. We crushed this shit. This time we're charging five bucks for a ticket, I think. Yeah, maybe.

Maybe. We're riding high. Or, also free. I think we went free, five five dollars pay what you want free I hope so. Yeah me too life truly is it's a wonderful wonderful mystery I was like Xamad you have costs. I went what? What's going on? Gives me a free Palmer. Why would I need that's my payment?

You know, and then we said would you join the rebel alliance? I asked that question everyone claps Joel's a great episode of plumbing Joel's Emma and Jackson Bailey they turned to me and in unison say no No, it sucks and you go. Oh, I guess I have to say yes I guess I have to say yes Actually, maybe from memory I might be wrong you said well I was also gonna say no But we realized I think on stage that if you also say no no episode will happen And so we flounder Well actually the first this live episode goes to 33 minutes

We get off stage and we go Maybe we should quit? Maybe we need to bake the topic a bit more. The sophomore slump does exist I guess. People weren't lying. People weren't lying. We were so confident. But hey we're back. Rebel Alliance, would we

join it? Now before we answer no again. No dude! Why would I? Well I think with Rebel Alliance would we join it now before we answer no again? No, dude With ten years, I'm pretty confident that my answer is not changing and I would join the rebel alliance Blowing up the Death Star So again, so we've got the pros and cons Again, so we probably we've got the pros and cons of what I was I was okay Okay, cuz the equivalent at the moment and I'm not saying that we should do this Yeah, I'm really not saying we should okay. Do you wanna maybe maybe yeah, okay? So perhaps I'm not gonna name names

I was gonna suggest maybe like a recent film that came out in the superhero genre And maybe we could use their country names they were using Yeah, so we're talking about Captain America Brave New World. So it'd be like if we had to put together a group of people to blow up the White House. Yeah! Because the president's gone wrong! He's a ho! Or a pedophile on a list! Could be.

Could be either could be. I can't remember when I was in Captain America and when I was in real life. Captain America, I'm pretty sure the leader is like, Hey, President of America, I'm the leader, I've got information that you're on a list. And he goes, Oh no, I'm so angry! And he becomes red. And he becomes you with gamma radiation that's made you a pedophile No, cuz you cuz the gamma didn't make him a pedophile. Oh, yeah, I'm just I'm doing that as an aside Yeah, but you are on a lift. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you sure that's how I'm enhancing the pedophilia?

already I hate when the leader makes me sick. Don't do that. The leader's a monster dude. The leader's a monster. Not the original monster that he, like you know, showed. He's the monster. He's the bad guy. He's the villain. Okay, so let's make a pro con list. Okay, I mean, look, the obvious pros and cons here is pro, you feel like you're doing the right thing. Con, you will probably get blown up and die in space.

Well, that is a con, but also another con would be like, you are also, if you are- A terrorist, technically? You're attacking people who might not just, you believe in say, the empire regime. I was just following orders. Oh, just following orders, but like, well, if I can't, has there been anything in the extended universe

of Star Wars? Finn. Where it's kind of like, well, yeah, like I can't you know has there been anything in the extended universe yeah of the of Star Wars Finn Yeah, where it's kind of like well. Yeah, like I don't I I Was raised to be a stormtrooper since I was a wee baby I you know have really no other choice if I didn't do this they would have killed like a lot of my People or like I'm so like I'm a contractor. I have no idea what the hell is even going on what? What? So on engage Building a what for a who?

I didn't realize why I really hate to do this so early in the episode But I'm distracted by what appears to be a man trying to make a very big delivery to a house But he seemed very confused by the front door. I've watched him cross the road holding a very big box three times. I'll be right back. Okay did he? What? He's wearing high vis so he caught the corner of my eye. He crossed the road He crossed back he crossed the road again. He looked at our front door and then he walked back across the road. Yeah is he going? I think has he given up? Zamit is rushing out there. I don't think no he's not. Zammat caught the guy's attention? I don't know. Zammat looks... Zammat is gesturing, which is not good.

It's never good to see. No? Zammat's closing the door. It was not for him. Yeah, well now Zammat's gesturing towards being like big shrug. I don't know. Look, based on what surrounds us, I'm almost certain that that box box based on the box. Do you see the man with the box? I Saw him coming out of like the the bottle shop that's near us. Oh Look like a Bottle shop delivery. Yeah. Well when I went out there there was a dog that was tied up to like yeah

There's you know, little black lucky. Maybe that's why he was was scared to cross it was a dog. Yeah, and I heard someone shouting Fuck off mate We live in a great Well, there's okay the man's not holding the box, but he did just run back to his van run back to his van. Probably scared of the street. Rightfully so. It's horrible. We live in a hostile you're wondering what bread plodding the Death Star. This hostile environment. Our studio dangerous. Jackson almost got run over. Yeah I did too. And it wasn't your fault this time. Hang on. The narrative has become...

Dude's just talking about the time he nearly got me hit by a car. No, no, no, no. I'm talking about the fact that you wander onto the road all the time. I thought you were taking the narrative where you said, Jackson, let's run, and I ran and got hit by a car while you stayed still. I'm sorry that over the years has changed to have less and less involvement from you Yeah, I was 50 meters back We'd reached the point where you'd removed yourself Told that story properly

I'm fairly sure I was talking to the head of a company that we are associated with I said run and then turned and just Had a conversation with her Yeah Yeah, then we were just watching you get a pay call. Yeah, yeah she was. And I turned back like what the hell? And then the next time you told it you were like, I don't know Jack, I'm just writing to you. Dude, I don't know, I'm doing business. I don't know why you did that. I mean, to have a business dinner

where one member of the talent gets the other one hit by it, got impressive, leaves an impact. It's a story, you gotta keep telling. Yeah, I went to dinner with Plumbing the Death Star. They drank a lot because they realized we were paying. Yeah, that one of them tricked the other one into getting hit by a car. Nice guys.

He just didn't seem fazed enough. He was like, why'd you do that? Australians are fucking weird. Yeah, I guess, I don't know. He just, he was tough. He got hit by the car, didn't really react. So if you're wondering why Plumbing the Death Star doesn't have a big brand sponsorship compared to like maybe other podcasts Yeah, yeah, that's how our business meetings

Get hit by a car Usually it's like as we drink like hey, what's this? Hey Jackson go across the street. Huh? Okay? It's like a dog Dog and then he gets a fire Meeting and I guess hey what was celebrating 600 episodes Flagship sure there was that other meeting where? We pulled up at a lunch a boozy lunch. Yes in, meeting with again, the same company that we work with. And they said, and as we were pulling up,

I was coming from, I don't know where I was, but you two were together and I was with, I was somewhere else, I was coming separately. I then get out of, off the bus or whatever I was doing, see you talking to Zamit who's lying on the ground. And I go, huh? That's interesting Yeah Then his arm. It turns out had gotten into an uber with a migraine the migraine had gotten way worse

So then he fell out of the Vomit it I'm like you boys go I cannot then and you're not gonna believe this because it was a boozy lunch We were paying me and Jackson drank. Oh, yeah, and you're not going to believe this because it was a bruisey lunch where we were paying me and Jackson drank a lot. And then they hit us with, Hey, plumbing the dust. I'll talks about video games. And if you listen to thumb cramps, a sister show on this network hosted by me and Jackson, this is the origin of thumb cramps. They go, Hey, there's a gap in the video game market. And if you start a video game podcast, I think that the audience you bring will fill that gap nicely. And we'll be able to, we've got brands like Microsoft really wanted to advertise. We said, yeah, great. We could do that.

And they said, make it family friendly. And then I said, and I may have had six pints over lunch at this point. I said, what if we call it games with fucked? And they said, please don't call it that. But don't. Then I go, then I go, yeah, I think we should call it games with fuck. And then I go, and then I go, ha ha ha. Yeah I think we should call it games with fuck. And then Jackson's laughing and being like, games with fuck? Like that podcast guys with fuck. And then we're just talking about how we've fucked games.

Yeah. And then that became less and less funny for them. Yeah but more and more funny for us. To the point where they're like, no no no but you're joking right? This is a joke yeah? Yeah. Yeah maybe. Yeah I don't know. We'll see what happens when I'm sober. I'm back in Australia. I don't know dude

I can't be held responsible for the things I do that's how our business 600 episodes really is surprising yeah Testament it's a testament out for second live show is bad every business meeting we've had with rack We really are successful in spite of us truly dude up to us This is truly Really? Yeah. Wow, you know, there's that thing where it was like, you know, Australia is the lucky country Yeah, and every strands like yeah, we live in the lucky country not realizing that that comes from like such an insult

lucky country not realizing that that comes from like such an insult yeah yeah absolutely because it was like yeah it's a lucky country because you walk two meters and you trip over a golden nugget you stupid yeah it's not morals nothing you and we're like yeah we are the lucky country dude that's us baby yeah nothing really sums it up better than that yeah anyway with the rebel alliance here's the thing I'm thinking. Yeah. Is that like, so it's us in Star Wars, right? What can you do?

Well, I imagine it would be a similar kind of us where we try to do some sort of like either a comedy or at least a podcast type thing. Or like a Good Morning Vietnam style radio show. Radio show. Good morning, Alderaan! Oh, ha ha ha. Good morning Death Star 2!

Oh. Yeah, why am I doing it on the Death Star? I defected today. The pay's good. Good morning Death Star 2! What's up everybody? It's crazy. It's your boy, Rebel Jackson Bailey here.

Yeah, I defected dude. It's also crazy that Death Star 2 hired you to do a radio program before they finished building the Death Star. Well, a lot of like the tradies, they kept bringing their like little portable radio, playing it real loudly. And I was like, oh everyone's playing different things. This way it's just homogenous, this is one voice. Yeah exactly. Now, hey, once again call in if you know maybe Maybe if you know what this is I'm actually a double agent call in if you know why we're building this and if it has any

weak spots That's the topic for today You're getting like shot by a storm 1-800 rebel base dot-com Was our website You can ring a lot. Search website or book a media. See what comes up. It doesn't matter. Well, again, cause like we are neither right now for like, is it, we're not really for the empire or for the rebels. Simply doing a podcast for a private company. Okay. Yeah. I guess there'd be a lot of people doing their own old bullshit in the Star Wars universe.

Yeah. And it wouldn't necessarily be for rebels. It wouldn't necessarily be for the empire. I think it's kind of, you know, doing your own thing. Trying to like live your life. Trying to earn your credits so you can buy them death sticks. Yeah. Yeah, I know Star Wars.

Yeah. So again, it'd be like that would be where you'd find yourself. Where would we be, I guess? Well, that's another question. Like isn't like s3 just fucking guys Like where install was of the fucking boys Hanging are we in cross it? Yeah Kimono yeah

I don't think we're in Kimono with the time that galey that's where I am Not called Kimono That's where I am. I'm picking. I'm fairly sure it's not called Komodo. Komodo? I've heard Komodo. Komodo with the tall neck aliens looking at the clones. Again, we've got to look at like, so Australia. Yeah. So we're part of that sort of like, you know, the westernness of Earth. And we're not... Kamino. Kamino.

So we're not quite as, say, populated as other countries. Yeah. But we are pretty like, you know, maybe maybe not the most advanced but we're like, you know, we still have technology. What's Australia in Star Wars? That's what I'm trying to work out. It feels like, I mean, I know that this is a boring answer but it does, like I mean if Australia... We're not Tatooine.

If Star Wars... Tatootie? Yeah. I feel like... We can't be Tatootie. I'm Tatoo Nights. Yeah, no, dude feel like- We can't be Tatooine. I'm Tatoo-Tatoo-nights. Yeah. No, dude, dude.

We don't- I mean, I hate it as well, because it's very cliche, but like- Does Tatooine have like other capitals where it's like built up? Maybe. Because like you could maybe make, all right, well, Tatooine is kind of like, you know, Cooper-Pede. Yeah. But also, you gotta remember, space travel is like, you know, it's just a thing you can

do. So you can be born in Tatooine. You can go wherever you want. Maybe's just a thing you can do. Yeah. So you can be born into Toonie. Yeah. You can go wherever you want. Maybe we're from Dantooine. Yeah, like... Mmm. Yeah, dude.

Maybe I'm in Dagobah in the swamps. You know, you can go wherever you like, settle down. Well, you can't really. You gotta be able to afford a ship. Yeah, well, you gotta get a job. You gotta get a Star Wars job. Yeah, exactly. You know? God, Star Wars jobs. You dare, dude? Is being in the Rebel Alliance a Star Wars job or is that like a I don't know well

No, cuz you gotta you gotta get have a regular job Yeah, and then you gotta find out about the Rebel Alliance and the Empire and pick and that's exactly You know, so if you're like a wookie hairdresser, yeah on Camino, okay, or this would be my job Okay, I live on Camino and I give neck massages Okay, the rebel alliance is voluntary but They did provide compensation after the war is the Empire conscription Find that out find that shit out. Yeah, but if I'm just a humble neck massager and I'm neck I'm sort of rubbing up and down the long thick girthy necks of the Kaminoites okay you know and then

I hear on the radio oh good morning Kamino! We hear that Cloning here is top-notch That one Love that dude, and I reach up into the ear of the Camino, I say you're doing an excellent job and great neck by the way Yeah, both conscription and volunteers Volunteers get paid more. Do you know if they did conscription on Camino? There's only like it's a water planet seems to be No, no, no, Cause you got to remember. So star wars. Yeah. Cause it's the outer rim and like Taddeween sorry to Tony. I'll speak your language. Thank you very much. And even like Dan Tooney, like they're outer rim planets. So like you probably get in conscripted from

like Coruscant. Yeah. Maybe Alderaan. Yeah. But you're not getting conscripted from like Coruscant, or maybe Alderaan. But you're not getting conscripted from fucking... So if I'm in Kamino, okay, then the way that I would pick is if I experience the Empire's heel on that planet. Kamino's in wild space, you're not getting conscripted. I'm not hearing about any of this. Yeah, because there Yeah. Oh god. I was in Star Wars Show deep.

Like when our Like maybe like a couple of years before our podcast. And then I have been in Star Wars less deep. So this is kind of like a painful memory to try and remember everything. Kind of like Here's a reference. if the if the Donna doctor remembers the doctor

She died. Yeah, if I remember too much style, you will die. They explained that recently and they were just like, oh no, she's fine I don't know. I don't know. I thought you watched that maybe yeah That's usually your Who knows what I'm doing? Not even me, I do dude. Who knows what he's up to dude? That's usually your thing. How do I work with so many people where I'm like okay what happens after I leave the office? I don't know and they don't know either. I basically cease to exist.

I know I've seen like multiple shows and like seasons and all that kind of stuff and then when the next season comes out I'm like who that guy? Who are these people dude? What? I thought you would have remembered because it was And then when the next season comes out of my who that guy who are these people? Remembered because it was those three specials. I did watch them. Yeah Maker I haven't seen them and I remember this stuff Neil Patrick Harris. Yeah, dude people like that I find him loads and that makes it good or whatever. He kept saying. Yeah, and that makes it good Is that how he said it? He wasn't texting

I saved her And that makes it good! Is that how he said it? He wasn't texting. And that makes it good! I just realized that... I saved her. And that makes it good! And that makes it good! I thought he wanted to be texting. I guess I can't really be on my high horse about what's everyone doing. Yeah, I don't know what you do, dude. I'm a man about town.

I'm always doing different stuff. You're always out at places. Yeah. What's he doing there? Where's Duesha? He's out at somewhere. And then I surprise him, like, I'm at the movies. Why? Who's he at the movies with? What's going on? What's he doing there? He's out at somewhere. And then I surprise like I'm at the movies. Why? Who's he at the movie? What's he watching? You know, a movie I've heard of. You people are a mystery to me. The world is truly a beautiful place. I don't

know what either of you were ever doing with your thought. You're at home in your computer room reading Moby Dick and eating chips. Yeah. Bang on. Or maybe lying on the couch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Could be. I didn't know you had a TV until recently when you took a photo of your TV not working. But I don't know why I didn't

think. Yeah, why would I not have a TV? He's got vibes of doesn't own a TV. I feel like when you first moved into your house that you and your partner I think we had a TV. I've had a TV the whole time. Hmm When did he go I'm with you mate. It doesn't make sense. He has a TV Where did you get the TV from? Because you didn't have it when you lived in the garage when you were a cowboy

He does feel like he like, you know, he lives off-grid. He's got vibes of that No, he likes the computer too much to be off the grid. Yeah, but like you imagine it's like yeah, he lives off grid. He has a computer, but it's all solar powered Yeah, and he catches rainwater I think the vibe is because I know how much he loves to sit at a desk to play video games Yeah, so I'm like and I know that he's always watching stuff on his phone whilst eating spaghetti or doing the dishes. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah He So I'm like, well, he probably doesn't have a TV because in every story I hear he's not using it.

I do love eating spaghetti and watching a movie. On your phone? On my phone, it's a real good combo, dude. What does your TV get used for? What are you doing? Not much. Yeah. Ambience?

Ambience, it's good to have. Yeah. It makes the room feel complete. Yeah, exactly. Now that it'm beyond it's good to have Feel completely broken like yeah, no they turned out that it was the game that was broken. Yes. Yes. Yeah, it was Gax Yeah, it was Gax. So that's my TV. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah what I was gonna say remembering stuff cuz Cuz there's the outer rim. Yes. I'm pretty sure like Tatooine and stuff like that is there Yeah, and then there's wild space which is like out of that and even like Tatooine like the outer rim is already like it's yeah Yeah, the outer rim is already people be like that's unruly

You don't really know what the fuck's going on there. Huts own that area and like who cares right now We have no real like control over it yeah and it's like yeah so it's like like is it sort of like crossing in the middle yeah I guess could be okay so the gap I'm on walk I'm on walk a PD of this probably should have watched and or season two yeah operation for any it would have been smart smart any hoon yeah that does feel like yes depending where you are and depending what you're doing because that's kind of really governs war Do and how you'll go about joining either the you know, wow, I'm gonna fight for the Emperor

I'll join a star, you know, the stormtroopers or like fuck that. I'm I'm joining the the rebel lines I feel like like say good Finn for example Yeah, what is Finn's origin because I was gonna say something where it's yeah Yeah, but before that like as in like hey, you know join the army Finn's origin? Cause I was going to say, cause it could be something where it's like, yeah, but before that, like as in like, Hey, you know, join the army. Yeah. Like, Hey, we need people to protect the front lines, blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, Hey, you get a good pay. You know, I get the good pension I'm covered for, you know, I don't want to be a, like, you know, I don't want to be a moisture farmer. So I'll join the army. Maybe it'll teach me, you know, you get an education. I can kind of like what like a lot of the

Like, you know, the military does the army recruiters in real life in real life I'd like you to the ads to be like hey if you want to you know, get up early and be responsible for all this bullshit Hey, have you considered the join the army? And so it could be something like that. We like oh, yeah I've always wanted to be a little whatever figure out what to do in my life Yeah, join me, you know, the, the, the, the tie fight and recruitment bullshit. And you go there and you're like, ah, sick. I'm flying around. You do basic training. Yeah. You do all that kind of stuff. And like

sick, then you go the front lines and they're like, Hey, we need to go for the empire. There's like some insubordination. You got to go destroy these people, blah blah blah blah. You're like, okay. And then you go and ask some questions, like okay, but then like, fair enough, I mean like, what media are you consuming? Yeah. And eventually you're like, I think maybe we're the baddies. Yeah. Wait, what are we doing? And then you defect.

Here's a question about Star Wars. How does- Wait, you said what media do you consume? Yeah. What media is there? What do you mean? What media is there? What do you mean? Like is there TV? Is there-

Speaking of TVs. Is there like the radio in Star Wars? I'm pretty sure there is news. Yeah there's like- Because I think there's a news host that will have this happened. There's some propaganda going on there. You have like projections and stuff so that would be like... Imagine your film as you put down a little ball.

A terrible hologram appears. A sketchy hologram appears. Like, who's my dude? That stinks, dude. This sucks. Yeah. I guess in the holiday special, the grandpa Wookie watches a porno. That's good.

So, pornos are good. There's the HoloNet. So porno is the hollow net Yeah, which is a galaxy-wide communication network. Yeah, but is it like this comlinks hollow media? But is this entertainment or is this practical? Well, comlinks are like phones. Yeah Yeah, but you can't can I Google stuff? Yeah, like I watch a video Or I watch goodfellas and eat spaghetti in the Star Wars universe I don't think you can watch good fellas in Star Wars or like what kind of I don't know Yeah, like what right wing media am I consuming? Yeah, or left wing media my consuming what right here? Who's Rachel Maddow, right?

Yeah, yeah, who Star Wars Rachel Maddow? Where who's Glenn Beckett? Yeah, Glenn Gary Glenn Ross. Yeah, where's my Glenn Gary Glenn fucked up alien? Yeah, I don't think Star Wars really has much in the way It's not pervasive if I'm like hey, I grew up in the backstreets of like the toonie Yeah, I've always wanted to be a star because I want to be in the movies. Yeah, there's no Or there probably is from like an expanded universe novel, but there's no front and center Star Wars.

Like if you think about- News definitely exists. Yeah. But it's kind of- I'm saying news and rebels. And it's like kinda owned by like- The Empire. The reason that we kind of stopped looking into it is yeah, by Revenge of the Sith, Palpatine

got his fingers in it. So it's just like, hey, hey the Empire how good is this? I've got no other opinions. I gotta assume. It's good. Yeah, there's there's no radio shows You think our radio shows like yeah this kind of bullshit. We're doing yeah when the hut when Jabba the hut in his pleasure palace He doesn't have a TV So I gotta watch people dance around you know but I mean like real life people do that sometimes, too Yeah, but he's got nothing when he's sick of watching people dance around. He's got a live band You know people go to clubs

Yeah, but there's no like, you know if he's like sitting down He's not job is not pulling that he's a little little phone and scrolling doom scrolling Yeah, well like contemplating choking him to death if you're Rich enough that you pretty much have your own private. Yeah. Yeah, barge band and strip club Yeah, I'm probably not looking at my phone either after enough like you're seeing enough titties and doing enough cocaine Yeah, you probably want to lie down and just doom-scrolling I have a button that I would press and a screen would come down and goodfellas would stop playing Press another button that a bowl of spaghetti would lower from the ceiling

spaghetti in ages Mentioning it and it's making me want spaghetti I had spaghetti in a while so we made like it was like rather than this one We make something like you know delicious spaghetti I did yeah, and my yeah wife was like, do you know you're making that sound after every bite? Good and I'm like what's Just like eating spaghetti, do you know you're doing this? That's so funny. I was having bliss I was blissing out eating spaghetti. Yeah, just nothing's better spaghetti's great with some fat meatballs Parmesan cheese on top. I'm like one of those freaks that like I just want my I love when my bolognese is just covered in cheese

But I prefer like a tasty or a mozzarella. No, I get that get stringy in this. I'm there brother. I'm there And then yeah, it's so much that it pretty much becomes a pasta bake bit of garlic bread on the side From mopping up that marinara. So if I'm there in yes, I always want to press that button. Where can I watch good fell? Yeah, exactly. Is there is there like I don't know Even it could be those pornos. Yeah, is there a little porno theater that I can go to and you know Sitting like a dark room. Yeah, joke off my little wiener and then get arrested by the cops like oh and decent exposure Go to get pee wee Herman in this world. I think porno theaters would probably exist in Star Wars Yeah, but would it be theaters or would it be like, you know?

Twi-lac or whatever Yeah, but I reckon that there would still be like those holodeck things kind of like how chewy plays chess Oh, it would be porno dances. Yeah, it wouldn't be like a flat screen, but you'd be just watching a video I think that the way yeah based on the way media exists in Star Wars Porto is like you watch a little woman dance naked. Like that's really normal, is just a gyrating tiny woman. Or if it's kind of like, yeah, because that 3D chess, I'm kind of trying to remember it. It's like, yeah, there's the little guys.

And you can kind of maneuver them around. Are they, it's a hologram or is it a robot? I think it's a hologram. It's all holograms. And they programmed fear, right? Yeah, they're scared of dying. Yeah, but that's normal. I mean, like video games do this. Yeah, I know, which they they they programmed fear, right? Yeah Normal I mean like video games do this. Yeah, I know which is just I know but it's very reactory. It's very I don't know It's yeah, you're right. You're right. You're gonna do that. It just seems very strange the chess I'm like a chess game to program fear of a wookie. Yeah, you're about to destroy you

So like again little I just got those little AI robots Yeah, you know those kind of you kind of like do you remember um in like the 90s? You'd get like a desktop, babe. Yeah, it's kind of like what porno is jacking off to Clippy Yeah, pretty much Clippy is gonna help you with that. Yeah Can well I was gonna say on Camino right massaging the neck aliens Do we think cuz that's where the clones are, right? Yeah, but do you have that job or is that a robot? Oh, it's probably a robot. Well, no, no, robots can't,

they can't replicate my beautiful human hands. Thank God. Thank God. That's what keeps me in business. But when the war starts with the rebels, is the Empire going to come and take over that place? And then am I going to be like, well, I guess I got a you know Massage the storm troopers or whatever exactly, you know I'm just trying to think of how you get presented with these factions

Yeah, like again cuz you let's let maybe you're not miss or for the for the neck guys. Yes again That's a very specific niche thing. But what if you're like a hairdresser? Yeah. Are you saying a hairdresser for walkies? But what if you're a hairdresser? Yeah. Someone's got to like, you know, give those clothes the exact same, like, haircut every time. Yeah. Right.

So you've got to be doing that. And then again, it's like you talk to people, you're doing that kind of stuff. And again, where are you set up? Are you set up in like, you know, Crossan? Are you set up in Alderaan? Well, or are you set up in like, where are you set up kind of stuff? And like in like, say, you know, crossing are you set up in Alderaan? Well, Where are you set up kind of stuff and like in like say, you know, all the run does get blowed up You're like, do you believe that? Yeah, absolutely Are you like well, it was an asteroid. Yeah, or like, you know, whatever what propaganda are like, you know

Is the is the Empire being like yeah, we did that. I don't fuck him I don't know trying to cover that up because I think we have real-world examples of things that are happening Yeah, yeah, even if they're people are presented with enough evidence like About that, you know the amount of conspiracy theories that would have just been like, you know Popped up simply on just like with Alderaan. Yeah. Yeah, let alone. What was the one that got before? Alderaan, Jockoo, Jockoo, Jockoo. Yeah? Jockoo? Jakku? Does Jakku get blown up? I wasn't paying that much attention!

Is it Jakku where Ray lives? What was the one in Rogue One? The first demonstration of the Death Note? I don't know. You think I know? You think I could ever answer that question in what world it wasn't looking at you. Yeah

That's all right. Sorry. I'm sorry. I fucked up in Jeddah in Jeddah yeah, yeah, like crazy cuz like they blow up Jeddah and then like a Couple of days later blow up Alderaan some going on if you like again and how how widespread or how quick is information being disseminated? Yeah, because like you know, oh, yeah, we have this galactic communication But what speed is going on it's going like how fast are those communications? Is it a lag is it very is it instantaneous? Is a whole planet blowing up I would argue not Yeah, but normally that would be a rarity, right?

Yeah, you'd be like a planet got hit by an asteroid That seems more like but also even that would be kind of but I don't know if it would because there are so many Inhabited planets. That's what I mean. Yeah, but there's not there's also like the Star Wars galaxy is vast, but it's not yeah Like I said, we've probably got like 40 named planets Yeah, it's not like lose to yeah, you know weak That like with with like say the asteroid belt in in our solar system Yeah, it's like, you know miles and miles and miles like, you know to be able to get hit by an asteroid Yeah, very very very very like hard to do but we know that in in in this in Star Wars universe while an asteroid

That's dense That's true. They're tightly packed. So like it works a little different Yeah, I think it's a bit more crowded So he getting a planet hit by an asteroid or a meteor or something like that would not you know be that far-fetched But it wouldn't destroy or blow it up the complete planet. That would be the either be like oh, it's a you know It's an extinction level event. So you need to evacuate or we know it's coming. I because again because you go out in space probably a lot of senses Yes, that's true. It's not gonna be a huge surprise. Yeah, I think you would you have spaceships You can probably divert that yeah, it'd be like a rogue asteroid going away like oh shit

We didn't see anything or like in the expanse how it's actually an attack on a planet because they cloak in those asteroids and fucking send it Whoa, there's so many things like that because obviously there's a million. Yeah aspects of meteorite Yeah, you've seen so many that you're the only guy I know that the the expanse. Yeah, he's the only guy watching the expanse That's what I'm doing that move the TV show where the guy the dog early edition. It's a ginger cat. Oh man Who's ever seen that in the world? I know I love that no Hubert being anything unique Mumford from that film I guess I'm watching

That film? No, I do. I guess I'm watching stupid stuff too like, Hey, I've seen the movie The Pee Pee Poo Poo Man. Yeah, that's true. That's true. You can't be throwing stones. I mean, I can throw a few stones. You can throw a stone. Well, I think mine was at a film festival, I guess,

so I'm not fully crazy. What I like about... Jason Lee's in that film. What I like about Mumford is I don't know if it's a movie from... Like, is it contemporary? Is it from the 90s? Yes. I don't know. It's from the 90s. There's your answer Yeah, well, there's like 30 people that have reviewed it on letterbox. I'm not one of them But I should you should contribute to the great society I'm trying to figure out where Alderaan is because yeah,. Like again, it is this weird thing where there's like so many facets about like when this,

you have like a very, like a fascist regime that is taken over the Senate, has taken over what is efficient, like the ruling party of this galactic, I guess. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we've put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out, complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say.

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Confederacy of planets? Taken over like what is in essence this alliance. It's now run by this like, you know, is the fascist in charge. But then it's like, yeah, but they are so far apart. Like Naboo, like what's Naboo? How much of Palpatine being in charge is going to affect me in the boot? Absolutely. Not much at all. By and large, even though it is star Wars and they're long necked and they're like, you know, weird stalk eyes or got weird fuck tube hair. We are very, very, you know in Chile

We're very very well people and the same kind of things will apply of like yeah I only have really enough space in my brain for like 200 people. Yeah So again this idea that we're like, oh that sucks that yeah, what's that eat little teddy bears are getting? Yeah from their home that Teddy bears time to mess up Yes, like it up the neck everything oils or what I'm am I flying that out as well because the plants are so far away The information how quickly is it getting to me pretty slow? I probably it would be like is on the galactic web

Yeah, you know that's still like not instantaneous. I assume. I would imagine unless they've like, no, we figured that out. And also you guys think solar systems that we can actually do solar system communication very easily. But we've got like a problem like, you know, humanity, like if we were trying to communicate like we like something like Mars, there's the light and then it's a delight. But you also got to think about shit like the guys on to toony yeah Like that's a Peter. They're in the outer. Yeah, it's gonna be in the outer rim Yeah, because there's the core the inner room the outer rim

Unknown region slash wild space yeah, yeah, and so once you get to outer rim people are just like fuck that so yeah to toony They don't know what the fuck's going on. I'm on to toony. Yeah, I'm there I'm a humble I'm doing is farming them from that sweet sweet boys that I have right now is Either no water in the day Not enough moisture My droids on the fritz My wife is pouting and I don't know why because I'm drawing and we keep getting like

you know tuscan raiders keep going shooting my favorite cow I'm the droid on the fritz yeah I'm gonna hit you with a wrench that's not gonna make about that's usually I tried that. People, people, bug, bubble, bubble. That's better, at least there's some change. Yeah. It's like, my days are consumed by being like, I don't know, fuck off Tusker radius, why is there no water? Honey, what's wrong? Shut up, Troy! That's my day. Clunk! Bug-a-bub-a-bub.

Yeah, it's working! I'm trying my best to fix him. What is wrong? Oh my god, shut up! You're gonna go see the Jawas. Yeah, I'm gonna my best to fix This is fucked my looks like someone's hit it on their head four times My droids a man Little guy Then you go you can trip you know the trait testing all where the jaw is okay? They where the fuck they going following their tracks. Hey, I need a part for this fuck. We're yeah, what do you got? There are stormtroopers there they go yeah, we're gonna protect you from the Tusker Raiders

Was like hey, we're looking for fucking yeah, yeah John Skywalker Like bongo no You go look at my droid. Bunga-Dunga-Bungus? Bunga-Bunga-Bunga-Bungus? This don't do to shoot the droid. Thank you. Oh fuck. Oh god. And then it's so stupid like There it is! Bongo-Grongas or whatever.

Fuck Jesus Christ. He was hiding in the droid. The droid wasn't on the fritz. It just had a man moving it. Fuck man. Damn man. I don't even fuck you for hitting me in the head so many times. What the fuck were you doing? Why is everyone... Are you why my wife is mad at me?

Fuck I'm dying. Did you fuck my wife? Stormtrooper hit him again. Aww. Yeah good. Thanks Stormtrooper. I now love the Stormtroopers. They got the guy that maybe slept with my wife.

And they go, hey buddy would you like to join the empire? And you go, Hey, I'll think about it. Yeah. Maybe. Do I get to shoot more pieces of shit like that? Yeah. That's our entire job. I hate those guys. I hate those secret, uh, uh, Jedi hiding in droids. Well, Tatooine must have some kind of, because, uh, Luke isn't the only person that gets brought into the rebel Yeah rebels like in fact a lot of their key pilots are made up from guys that Luke knows from Tatooine Yeah, wedge. Yeah It's just like hey my body The greatest pilot the world's ever seen yeah, is Is it just like, Oh, well, my buddies.

Yeah. He is from Tatooine. Yeah. I don't know, dude. Well, I guess it's kind of like, well, you haven't been like, you know, either you're in the outer rim and so you're, you're shielded from the propaganda sphere. Like it doesn't reach the outer rim as much. And because I guess the, if you look at it in terms of like concentric circles, it's kind of like where the, the most like, you know, propaganda is

going to be like in the middle and then like towards the edges, it's going to be like where they're trying to expand their empire and try to be like probably do the most atrocities is in that outer, outer, the middle, the middle edge is there, which means that's where they're going to either stamp down some of that, like, you know, descent there. And so the propaganda would be there like going inwards to be like, see, we're doing good. Yeah. But then going outwards would be like, well, well, we actually are getting the information from that planet's news. So those planets, like the locals that have like shoved off and then like, you know, they're there is, you know, distributing what, like, you know, they're there, you know, distributing

what like, you know, Hey, this is what's been happening. This what's going on. And because I, the empire doesn't have as much influence, that's kind of like going through all those filters. The outer rim is probably perfect for your Alliance. Because it's like, well, they, they are, they know, they know the truth. They know what's going, they're getting everything that's not being pushed down by the empire propaganda. Realistic scenario for you is they shoot your droid, which doesn't have a Jedi in it. And you go, why the fuck would they do that? And they go, well fuck off, we're looking for Alagu Bago or whatever. Yeah, his MO is that he keeps hiding in droids.

Yeah, we just thought he might be in yours. You go, well I need that droid, dude. Well, yeah, you're gonna compensate me? And then shoot me in the leg and I'm like, aah! Fuck off, dude. Of course I'm not gonna help you with your little piece of shit droid. Yeah. It's broken anyway. Yeah, exactly. Fuck you. They shoot at the bike, and help you with your little piece of shit droid. Yeah. It was broken anyway. Exactly. They shoot at the bike, that's how I found it. Yeah dude.

Yeah, shoot again. That's another little guy. Oh fuck! The first one missed me. I thought I was good. Why would they shoot it twice? Fuck! I'm not the Jedi.

I'm just a freak. Yeah. Oh I'm not the Jedi you're looking for. I'm just- This is how I get off dude. I'm not the Jedi you're looking for I'm just This is how I get off dude I'm trying to get off I'm being pressed up against machines and being directed like I'm a droid Makes my dick so cummy

I hate this Oh fuck dude Some people get cummy when they think of sexy ladies Not me I get cummy when I think of being pushed up in a machine and ordered around. When you say getting cummy, what do you mean? No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean my dick, because I'm an alien, obviously. Gets cummy.

It gets cummy. You know the cum comes out of yours? Yeah. Not for me. Mine's like coded and like, when you would get an erection or as you say it a boner Yeah, I get the same thing but my dick my alien dick. It just gets coated in calm So it looks like oozes like cotton coming out. Yeah, like a cotton plant. Yeah It's like posse but calm. Yeah. Oh I'm dying still so don't worry about it Yeah, oh good for me no I'm dying still, so don't worry about it. Oh, that's awesome. I'm dying, you just wandered off. I used Combers lubrication.

It's good for me. No, no, that's nothing. It's bad for you, but if you were... All twonks are like that. That's my race. If you were another twonk, you would think it was awesome. I guess I would. You wouldn't think that being pressed up against machines are awesome, right? That's just me being... That, I will concede, is me being a freak. That's fair, I once had a cousin of the same quality. Being pressed up against machines are also know that's just me

That's fair I once had a cousin all this But I understand we do have freaks. Yeah, but the physiology bit. Yeah, that's awesome Getting coming is just normal But sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for judging a little bit and showing my displeasure and what is not something is Natural for you. I understand it now. Thank you for opening my eyes. Yeah, and not really showing me my prejudice I'm sorry you are dying. Well, yeah, but I guess I was in your drawing But I was getting so call me good luck with the cleaning He didn't wedge isn't from Tatooine by the way, okay, he's from Some of the bullshit dude. Yeah, I think that's the whole point

It's like it's like it depending where you're living and again it depending if we're not in the out I give you an outer rim. I think you're more likely to be like, yeah, we're seeing the terrible things Yeah, you're more close to the center. You're like, no the Empire are good. They're doing really good They're the job. There are those two Cause, uh, what happened in planets? Yeah. Hold on a second. What happened in the core? Yeah. It was not a, it was a big deal. Yeah. Like I know we've always said like, Hey, this, this is really throwing back in the 10 years of we're going up our own ass. Hey, it's episode 600. We're allowed to to yeah, we've always said like in the prequels it would have made more impact if they blew up like Naboo Yeah, if they made Naboo or Carson

Alderaan Alderaan. Yeah, you already know that that guy's blown up But then it but you'd like Alderaan is part of like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I Guess it's just like what was the because we see it from like you know The Jedi perspective yeah from Luke and like every dollar everyone's like fuck man all these people like These Was young about being coming and now and now he's quiet. Oh, nothing but bliss. A thousand voices drowned out by another guy talking about how

calm he is. Also with silence. But he went silent earlier than everyone else. I don't know what that's about. I've got a headache. I gotta stop talking to the force. So we see it from that perspective. Do we ever, I mean I guess probably in the extended universe. I'm so sorry.

But yeah, what do the general public know about the destruction of Alderaan and Jandor? I don't know. Because it's just like, once you're like, oh I'm weird. Twice in like two weeks, you're like, that's that's peculiar. Real. Should I be worried about my planet getting hit by an asteroid or whatever? Hang on a second. I thought the Empire was and they could if it's like, oh, yeah.

And like, I don't know what spin you could do. Yeah. Because you could be like, well, yes, we located, you know, the terrorist organization. You know, they were hiding under the, you know, the, the, the, the civilians using civilian buildings as cover and Alderaan. So we blew it all up. We blew up. I can't imagine what world I would be like, wow, you're the good guy. I just can't imagine being like the terrorists were underneath and using Alderaan as a, a kind of, you know, hiding place in secret base And using the civilians so the civilians were completely innocent

I can't imagine when you're like, yeah, so we blew it up no world where they would be the good world would you be like? I don't think so that's good and be convinced. Yeah, so Yeah, I would I would be like a harder. I guess yeah swallow. I can only imagine so yeah, yeah Tarkin and Vader actually went rogue. Yeah, okay blowing up Alderaan because This is all from Star Wars legends and for me just quickly googling Trying to do a podcast at the same time. So you know, it's a couple bad eggs. Yeah, but yeah Apparently the destruction of Alderaan took everyone by shock including Palpatine. That's so What

Palpatine had given permission for tests to be done on a planet You didn't expect Tarkin to pick a politically important planet. That would be I thought you're gonna get one of the asherim. Here we are. I love to holiday there you piece of shit well, it's a holiday there and more like my work Like being like alright, we need to do a nuclear test and they're like, yeah. Alright and we'll pick Los Angeles Chicago know what about them what what like it like a little island somewhere that there's no one around New York City

Okay, so Even still like basically people like what the fuck there was protests everywhere the Empire then say we didn't destroy the planet It was an old old wrong. We're doing something and it went wrong. Oh, and then they're like, okay, we'll come clean We did destroy the planet because they were hoarding weapons for the rebels all of this all it did was lead people to Like yeah the fact and join the rebels the rebels Frank swelled tons of Alderaan Imperial officers immediately joined the rebellion Well, that's makes sense again if you kind of like well you you you immediately lie and you're like well It's like what would happen if Yeah, like there was a list you said you were gonna release. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and then you get everyone to be like

We're the good guy. Yeah, I'm gonna release the list That list is gonna take down a bunch of bad people and then you say oh no we're not cuz I'm on the list Yeah, you know why you say you are you fall out you find out that you're very heavily on them, and then you're like Well, there was no list yeah, and then you're like and if the list well if there was real It was probably like you know it was probably Made the list Senator Jimmy Smith's to yeah,, he's a leader like dead now though Yeah, so people like oh, I believed you but now like this is all shattered my illusion

Yeah, I've started to realize that maybe you're the well, maybe I don't think you're like the world but it's enough for me Yeah, it's turning my opinion. Maybe feels like maybe you're not on the level maybe if I'll start looking at alter you know alternative options like the rebel lines I don't know if Yoda is on the list yeah obviously he's hidden in Dagobah yeah we haven't seen Yoda in a long long long time I'm sure you ran away little man tiny man ran away tiny man ugly

When when faced with the you know the the the option of like the next leader coming in who was a clear fascist Yeah, like running away. I guess I'll give you the keys to the kingdom. Don't worry. Yeah, it's fine How would some people say? Little cow Yeah Some people call him a coward. Little coward. Green with cowardice. That's what they say. Mmm, sleepy Yoda. Little sleepy tired Yoda. That's what I call him, little sleepy Yoda. Talks wrong. Speaks backwards, talks with Yoda.

Why does he do that? I don't know. Little sleepy backwards boy. A lot of people are saying it. A lot of people are saying it. He made the list. List full of lies. It's not real. Little sleepy Yoda on that list.

He disappears when he dies. Just leaves clothes. Mace Windu, no hands, fell out a window. Bad guy. Bad guy, some are saying it. Many such cases. Fall guy. Bad guy. Some are saying it. Many such cases. Falling out a window. Named Mace Windu falls out a window.

I don't know. Is that a coincidence? Who can say? It's a conspiracy that they don't want you to know about. Exactly. Yeah, so I think that I would join the Rebel Alliance. I think that it just becomes like a thing and look I would hope to think Yeah, then in a world where there is an easy thing and look Where something so horrible happens and there's like a clear rebelling to it And I know that we've learned through television programs such as and or yeah that hey the rebel Alliance. It's not all peachy

Yeah, maybe in a universe of scum and villainy, everyone's a bit of a piece of shit. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, would I join the Rebel Alliance? Yeah, I would fucking hope so. Yeah. Oh yeah, you would hope so too. Once it becomes part of your front door, you're like, yeah. Because again, depending where you are living in the Star Wars universe, the moment that

Alderaan gets blown up and you're like, wait a second. Yeah. And then you realize and you find out that it is like yeah the Empire that has done that and like sure They're like oh well actually it was a Rebel Alliance base that was there they were making weapons you're like yeah But not everyone was you probably shouldn't blow up all of Alderaan I'm pretty sure that the the children in Alderaan weren't making weapons. That seems crazy. It seems kind of crazy. I'm pretty sure like, you know, the dogs on Alderaan weren't also making weapons. I'm pretty, I've just, I just think that everyone wasn't, it's a big planet. Yeah. And so the

whole planet, maybe, maybe I need to, if I'm in like a higher ranking in like some sort of, you'd be like defecting or you I can't what can I personally do my job? Whatever I have in the career the pool that I have yeah, what can I do to be like? Well, how can I help out the other side who are who is clearly now? Well, why why if you don't know much about say the the Alliance like well or the rebel lines? Mm-hmm. Well, they're clearly doing something that these motherfuckers are again. Yeah. Yeah. Why yeah, well, let's investigate that more Do you think how you're as a moisture farmer with a hollow droid? Yeah, I'm to toony How do I clean a droid without moisture? Sand?

Fuck. Leave it out. So much sand. Get it full of sand? It's a rubble of sand in there. It's very abrasive I guess. But then you've got to do, because that's the thing. Obviously, if you're a high ranking guy in the empire, sure, you can do those grand sweep.

Or you know, if you're in somewhere where the rebel alliance has bases, but as a humble moisture farmer, or a neck massager on Kamino, you gotta find those little acts of rebellion, dude. Pissing in the cloning juice or whatever, dude. As a moisture farmer? Make some rotten clothes. I reckon.

Awesome if the clothes just turn out the same, but just smell like piss. That's also good, smell them coming. Yeah, I reckon. Awesome if the clones just turn out the same but just smell like piss. That's also good. Smell them coming. Yeah, exactly. Smell them coming. It's like a moisture farm. Well, I make sure that I, you know, source my droids ethically. Not like all my credits ain't going to the Empire and I'm selling my moisture not to the Empire. Yeah, sell it locally locally produced and

sourced moisture yeah the problem there is like I don't know who I sell it who they're on selling it yeah exactly there's a limit to consumption under the Empire exactly yeah I guess it would be trying to like well whatever meagre income that I'm earning maybe I can like you know send it to the Rebel Alliance as well. Yeah. Yeah on the rebel and I'll snap all the necks I don't think what I don't think they're part of the Empire. You monsters! I don't really know what's going on, but I think you ought to play.

They just clone people, dude. I don't think they were fully aware of what the- And they were cloning for the Jedi at this point. Yeah, I don't think they really knew what the fuck was going on. Take that, Empire. They were just like- The Empire doesn't exist at this point. Jedi came to us. It was like I need some dudes

I'm Yoda's friend. I want some Clone well too bad. Yeah, my guys are gonna make the clothes are all dead. It's just me Facility is a mystery to me. I'm really scared. Can I come with you? No. Fuck. Enjoy wet planet. I really hoped you were going to take me away from this wet planet.

Just hope for the up all the clones. Can you help me get out of here? Oh, you smell like piss. Oh my god. Why is that the only effect it had? That doesn't make sense That doesn't make sense in this stupid Star Wars world Just get locked in this cloning facility having to like brain all the clones for

sources of meat Yeah I can eat the clones, it's not so bad Eat the clones, drink the clone juice Eat and drink piss scented food and drink Yeah, yeah, I'll learn to love the taste Pierce Believe after enough time you would I don't know if you're okay you're stranded on a desert island Yeah, but the only meat is tastes like Pierce and smells like Pierce. Yeah, eventually Become associated with food. No, you're not gonna learn to love it though. Thank you. He'll learn to tolerate you'll tolerate

Or even to the point where it doesn't actually taste like piss anymore. Yes is the delicious smell of piss you'll be like Oh food. Yeah, so you would even associate right? I get to kill the clones it I take my dog for a walk. I get really hungry. Yeah, he's not walking dogs He's eating clone. Yeah, when I pierce into the water around the Camino planet I'm like, oh that's made me hungry because I love the taste of piss now Yeah, that's time to go and brighten up the club. Yeah time to go to eat another clone Yeah, I thought this would be bad when Yoda's friend left, but I've managed to Left but I've managed to come

Like Jedi or whatever come to visit Should blow up this yeah There's one man on there Why they did it ever want to be like you know what that one you can join me Okay, you killed that piss man with his piss planet farin off. yeah I guess it depending where you are like yeah Adorim easy to be like hearing the atrocities of like the Empire and be like yeah fuck them if you more towards the middle after Alderaan blows up you're like what the fuck yeah I am not believing their bullshit absolutely or what they funding a second star I guess no no they call you You're led by an evil wizard

Evil wizard an evil night yeah, yeah, well still still and the correct Your night not have wizard powers Fucking wizards basically. Why you being such a little bitch? Why you such a pedant? I fucking hate you Palpatine. You can eat my arse while I leave the room to go join the rebel alliance. How did we get into his chamber? Just lucky I guess. Well I need to give my resignation letter somewhere. Figured him. So funny to give.

Palpatine I resign. I quit. There are like hundreds of people between me You got like fucking two evil wizards running this well that one of them's God sorry can I have a resignation back again? I'm just writing I quit times to that doesn't change anything you shove this respectfully up your arse Your do i not have security? respectfully up your arse how have you managed to talk to me like this? hello? hello?

you wouldn't even let me be one of the red guards is there anyone around? do you even know your guards names? do you? when do i get one of them light sticks? never now this is Palpatine just calling to see if anyone's fucking working today Cause um, there's like two guys in my chamber Where's Vader?

What the fuck? But he's not lightning you because he's like too confused I can't focus I can't focus on anything today is a fucking war but I don't want to leave first yeah I know he called Vader an evil wizard he's not a wizard

I'm a wizard I'll give them that he's like a knight oh my god he's like a man man man he's like a cyborg palpatine shut up

why do you stay here I quit how is there no sleep I'm not a wizard I'm a wizard I'm a wizard I'm a wizard I'm a wizard I'm a wizard I'm a wizard Oh my god, man, man, man! It's like a Coral Wizard night, baby. It's like a cyborg night. Shut up. Why are you still here?

How is there no security whatsoever in my chamber? Fine, whatever, you quit. You're a crier. I don't know who you are. I would love to say that I hope you have a great day, but I wouldn't mean it. I would not mean that. Great! I don't know your first names What did you do for the Empire? I've I'm goodbye

Then it's funny for Palpatine to be like using the force and I'm like when the death top blows up like that fucking guy Yeah, of course anyway, I would join the rebel alliance. Yeah me too dude. Yeah, man Empire yeah, yeah, it'd be sick. Do you get to meet Leo? Yeah, hey, you're you were a princess, but I think you are anymore cuz your planet blew up I don't know how I should miss that. I'm so sorry. Sorry for your loss You plan it blew up and your husband's dead. I'm in the sequel trilogy planet blew up and your husband's dead. I'm in the sequel trilogy. Your husband's dead. You got killed by your son. That dude, that's so bummer. That's a single and the bummer. Shouldn't you be out there fighting? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not part of your organization.

I'm just an interested passerby. I was walking past going on to see what all this is. Oh shit. Is that Poe? Poe Dameron? Dude, I know you. You're the guy that did the handbrake turn with the X-wing. Yeah. I don't know what else you did, but that's awesome. It's really cool. Oh my God. Finn. Oh my God. You're that stormtrooper, but then you get a red bloody handprint for it. Cause your friend died and made you realize the cruelty of war. How do you know all this? I don't know. I read books. I just keep an ear to the ground. I just pay attention. Yeah Just fucking you guys are like, oh, you're not like famous, but you just like guys. Yeah, you just like guys Yeah, I think it's Yeah Yeah, you guys know podcast Do you know podcasts from Ghostbusters? You know Ghostbusters?

You know that kid from Ghostbusters? Buster makes me feel good. That's a crazy thing they say in that intro. That's saga myth. Yeah, yeah. Rossi the droid I once had who used to get cummy. Yeah, you guys Jedi should really stay away from Ghostbusters. Yeah. Don't get electricity powers too.

I don't know if ghosts are real though. Plus ghosts die I think. When you powers to you for whatever. I don't know if ghosts are real though It goes to I think when you guys die you become clothes not all of you Yeah, I think you have to learn it quite gone toward you you have to learn how to be close Are you the quite close? Sorry? I'm a ghost is this a quite gone gin or Jim? Jim's not a name. It's a drink. Yeah Genie's why gone genie? Jim's a name Jim's not a name. It's a drink. Yeah, I mean what Jeannie's I'm quite gone Jeannie Good luck, I just wish you the best. Yeah, that's a love. What are you doing?

And then I don't like leave I just go deeper We'd love above before I carry on my way. Just like ice cold Bev. Yeah. Bev. So I can watch the TV. You got TV. Oh shit. The games on I got a bed in the game. That'd be great. Dude. Don't worry about me. I mean, you just do what you're doing. Like all of this. Love all of this anyway. You should go now. You should probably go do all of your stuff while I watch the game and just drink some bed. Yeah. Are you a empire spy first at whatever it is? Spy? No, no, they would never. I did defect by quitting to Palpatine a couple years ago or whatever

Yeah, but uh, but they they they were happy to see the back of me Really hope he does not return. Yeah, dude. Hey, I think comes back. I'm in trouble Let me just check on the radio. Here. Somehow. Oh, fuck. Oh. I'm gonna need a second bath. I know he's back to get me. I know what this is about. I said some things in the heat of the moment

that I will stand on. I quit times too, that he'd be pissed off. I didn't think he'd be pissed off enough to come back from dead fuck then that end scene where Ray and What's his face Tyler Kyle over there and I'm there? Hey, just wanted to I'll let you guys get on with it, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry No bad blood that was unprofessional on me to quit like that. You're right

There were hundreds of people between my superior and you I should have gone to them I mean, who are you? I know, I'm sorry You know what? I'm not sorry You gotta remember your fucking employees I quit times three Quit what? This Waukadaf flipping in the bird

You make me sick The union's gonna hear about this I'm gonna call the ombudsman Whatever you're on with your fucked up head What is that? What the fuck dude? I bet you're on way more than me as well I bet you'll make a fucking heaps of...

I hope fucking Luigi comes to find you Yeah I'm not taking that Yeah okay Christ sake didn't anyway. He's yours ray and Kylo Ren. Goodbye. Good luck. Good luck killing him my old boss Actually, yeah, how do I get off exe gold? How do I is there like a like a bus I can take I just want it's in the very it's deep It's deep out there. Yeah, yeah into the like stormy lightning kind of volcanic landscape. Hmm Looking left to right just walk it off. I appear to be in the unknown regions How to get home?

I'll call an uber. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in the unknown regions fuck this So many death stars not that does star destroyers Yeah, I don't want any of this I'll get a space uber Everyone's trying to get off Maybe if I just sit down this will kind of happen around me games on I kind of have a third bed, but that'll sort me right out. Maybe if I just sit down, this'll all kinda happen around me. Oh fuck, the game's on! I gotta get a third bed and watch the game! Yeah, they win Ray and that'll run past like, oh sick!

Oh okay, we're off, good! Yeah, thank god. That ain't nowhere to go. Did you do it? Or whatever? Where's the other guy? Yeah, did you do, did you, I've gotta be apolog apologetic. I don't know what you're here to do. But I hope you're quitting too.

Yeah. We also apologize. Was a real jerk off. Yeah. Right. Am I right, dude? Tell me if I'm right about that. Where we going? To Tooney? To Tooney, dude. To bury a what? I have a friend that he's got a droid that's hollow

and full of calm, I think a friend that he's got a droid that's hollow and full of calm He lives near that place. We don't bury a lightsaber order. Yeah, I'll come I'll come I'm gonna see a friend We'll split what's your name? I think it's right? Yeah, right Ray Skywalker. Yeah, no He's right pal patina. Yeah, she's's rape out there and I'm Jackson Bailey Daughter of my you didn't ask my name, but I'm Jackson Bailey. Yeah, I could you're the Baby baby god damn it, dude No, but she quit so that's not nepo baby because you're not using it to be like that's good actually But where'd she get that saber from I didn't get no saber is that from your dad or what? No, I got no lightsaber or force did what the fuck

You got Bev's though. That's all yeah, I'm going into uncle Don't bruise Yeah, I can go and see if they got any bevs 30 year old bevs yeah, so good maybe place to watch the game. Yeah Your old bevs. Yeah, so good. Maybe a place to watch the game. Yeah Well, we joined the rebel alliance. Yeah, we figured it out and we navigated a yes or no topic exactly We've done it baby and let us know if you were at a live show that we just did this at would you be hooting? And hollering. Yeah, you have gone home. Would you be screaming and tearing your seat apart throwing apples at us? Yeah, I hope so Yeah, that's what I expect out of Plum in the Death's Tale fans.

At the Eureka Hotel. That was a venue where it was very easy for the audience to get on stage if they wanted to. Yeah, no one did. I think that should be the energy of every Plum in the Death's Tale live show. Like at any second. The audience could come on stage.

Yeah, and kind of piranha-ize us, skeletonize us. Yeah. I think that's the right vibe. I think so too. And happy episode 400 to each Decided we had 200 bad ones Download them quick could be be 100 by next week. Yeah, exactly dude.

So happy episode 400. 400, that's right. Yeah. Episode 400, 600, part 4. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel. I hope you've enjoyed this walk down memory lane.

Exactly. And thank you to everyone who said we should redo episodes that you like we didn't do that Yeah, too bad. We did read your comments. Exactly. We just disagreed Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we've put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out, complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards.

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