Podcast About List - Ep. 108 - Operation crapstorm

Episode Date: July 22, 2020

drecula dranken blood. www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. That counts to the ball list. You're really crap monster. I'm recording. I'm recording. Shout out to the stand-up shot up shot up to the stand-up shot subreddit. Yeah, we need to talk about this. First of all, we got to pay respect to the stand-respect suburb.

I mean, I remember I used to watch, I mean, I remember the first time I ever heard George Carlin. It was him posting his jokes on the stand-up shot sub-bredd. Yeah, man. Over a picture of him, like, looking at a cup of coffee. Yeah, you know. Remember when Lenny Bruce got banned from Reddit for his stand-up song? For saying damn. That's not too much truth.

In his 60s, yeah, he got thrown out of the stand-up shot sub-reddit. Here are the seven words you can't say on Reddit. Girl, woman, female, um, just a list of... Female and the Last Jedi. The Cake is true. Yeah Star Wars Ray Star Wars Ray

Star Wars Ray you can't say Star Wars Ray Yeah Um Yeah Ethics and game journalism Uh huh Cop bad

Yeah That's just you know Just the rules Those are the seven dirty words of Reddit Yeah Yeah I love dude Reddit standups I think

They're a truly It's just a rare breed It's insane Have you seen the Have you seen the stand-up comedy subreddit No Did they talk about us, too, or was it just out of the loop? No, no, no, no.

I just made me, yesterday I just, like, was thinking about, like, Reddit stand-ups, and I went to the stand-up comedy sub. And just, every post is, like, people asking why they're not funny and why nobody laughs. They're like, I'm doing everything. I have my stage name, Anton P penis, but I go up every single night, and I just eat shit talking about my mom. Yeah. It rocks, dude. I mean, it's so...

The stand-up shots subreddit is so fucking depressing. Like, it's just, you look at the stuff that, that does well there day to day, and it's just like, like, these are the comedians who aren't, who aren't even good enough to, like, justify to themselves getting out of the house to go to an open mic. Yeah. Like, that's the best part is when it's a guy taking a picture of him in his kitchen. Yeah. And, like, it's not even, he's not even doing stand-up. Or it's, like, a picture of him, like, like, thoughtfully, like, looking into the corner of the frame. and he's like under a tree yeah you know yeah so sick dude yeah and it's some joke about

trump yeah it's a it's a it's a whole man i got yeah it's like yeah it's a guy it's a guy like like just sitting in his sitting go runs it yeah just a guy sitting in his living room with tented fingers and then just like an impact font caption that's like yeah so my family loves to read the bible but they hate to read other books what's going on and then just like at the comedy guy alpaca bacon one two three yeah sometimes i sometimes i feel like i'm when i'm at home i'm playing clue and the uh answer is a stupid girlfriend with the ipad in the bedroom yeah that just this just a conversation this reminded me of one of the all-time grades which is i have a time-based pie eating disorder i eat pie all the time

I forgot about that guy One of the best stand-up shots of all time We have spent so much time on that sub-reddit I have a time-based pie eating disorder That joke that I have a time-based pie eating disorder I eat pie all the time Is it was there were three different jokes on one stand-up shot Like that was just like the middle joke in like three nonsense

Is that Scott Walker No Who did that one? I don't think so Scott, that's a different, yeah. So, we're at a point where we know, like, he's like, Scott Walker is the one where he's, like, Scott Walker is the one who did, like, um, uh, if I see a dog and I can't pet it, I die. He does stuff like that. One second, I'm going to look up.

I have a time-based pie eating disorder. Like the picture of him is like, he's like him screaming. Yeah. Yeah. I need to find, I think this picture might be lost a time. To be honest, I have a time-based potting disorder. Lost a time. I was lost to pie eating.

Yeah, the only thing that comes up when I Google the phrase, I have a time-based pie eating disorder is our podcast. Nice, we've claimed that joke. We've stolen it. I didn't know that we had that anywhere. It's in the description of episode 39. We must have talked about stand-up shots in the past, because that must have been the time.

I think we definitely talked about that joke on the podcast before. Yeah, that one, but at the time when you posted that one where it's just the really long text and it got downvoted a lot. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That one was the best. Man, people hate good comedy. I know. It's true.

Also, the best part about that one is that the photo that you had on it was you doing that joke, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's a real joke. It's funny as hell. They just don't understand me, you know? It's kind of one of those situations where I've got too many kind of depths in my brain and different lengths and widths that kind of go on and try the wrinkles. Yeah, I'm like, I'm exactly, I'm kind of the dangerous comic You're kind of like saying through a dangerous field

Rodney, yeah, you're Mr. Dangerous Field I'm like Dangerous Neal, you know, I'm like Rodney Dangerous Neal, because I kind of tell jokes that are so dangerous they make you kneel during the anthem Because you're, I thought you were talking about Neal, that you're talking about Neal No, no, no, that guy, that guy on Twitter, Dangerous Neal I thought you're talking about him

I don't know who that is. Is that a guy? Yeah, that's a guy. No, it's not. I just made that up. No, that's a real guy. You just think that's a guy. Because you think that everything you hear is real.

Cam, you just manifested that, brother. Yeah, I'm manifesting energy. I'm in- Shout out. Shout out to Dangerous Neal, I guess. I just hex Dangerous Neal. No, don't hex him. Dude, take it back. He's a good dude.

Take it back. Take it back right now. I take it back. I take it back. But, yeah, Patrick, the results of this, of the... So, yeah, everyone was posting the fucking... I didn't know all of you were going to go Operation Crapstorm on our stand-up shots. I didn't realize that was going to happen. I was just refreshing the new page on stand-up shots.

And literally, like, every time I refreshed, there was one or two new ones. Like, they were going faster than the mods could delete them. It was incredible. Because it's just one, like, lonely guy who made the fucking subreddit so he could post his stand-up shots. I thought it started out. That's the only reason he posts, he made the sub-reddit. I thought it started out as, like, stand-up shots from, like, specials that people were watching, like, oh, look at this joke. And then it turned into just open-mic guys being, like, Oh, okay. Well, I don't know. Anyway.

Yeah, back in the day, it was like Patrice and Louis, and they were posting their stand-up shots on there. Patrice and Louis posting their stand-up shots. We had Greg Geraldo, R-I-P. He was doing... He was doing roasts in the comments of the post. Yes, yeah. He would roast Patrice and Louis. And Lisa Lampinelli would, too, but then they would say that Lisa Lampinelli had sex with a black guy once. And then, well, anyway, I got a DM from the moderator, and I didn't know that he followed me. And he messaged me. Yeah. That makes it even better.

I didn't know he followed me. He was pretty, I mean, he was pretty nice, I guess. Please read the DM. If you don't, I will. He said, did I do, I feel kind of bad reading it. No. Come on, too. Fuck this guy.

Are you fucking kidding? This is not the, yeah. I'm going to read it if you don't read it. I'm sorry that has led you to you fucking up my subreddit today. Yeah, this has to be personal. It's sick because, I mean, it's such a cesspool to begin with. Like, every post is like, yeah, I saw my Chinese neighbor out the other day. I hope he doesn't eat my cat.

Right. One of the top posts when we posted that was like, I learned today that Israel is in Asia. So now whenever I see my. I, like, the Jewish guy who works at the store next door, I bow and say, thank you very much to him. Yeah. Thank you very much. Thank you very much, Mr. Goldstein.

That was the punchline. Is there a stereotype where you know that there was supposed to be, thank you very much, Mr. Goldstein was supposed to be read in a voice. Yeah. And it's very specific accent. That's my question is, do, do, is there a stereotype that Asian people or say thank you a lot? Well, they bow. They say thank you. and bow that's the stereotype that's what i don't maybe i'm just so anti-racist i don't know any of the

stereotypes if you watch uh if you watch south park in the early 2000s there's uh an episode where cartman dresses up like a japanese person and says thank you a bunch so i i think you maybe he got it from there yeah what the fuck i i didn't be i didn't want to have to cancel oh my god i had no idea that carmman did that early in his career that's really fucked up. Yeah, it was early enough in his career. It was back when that was allowed. Guys, it was a long time ago. He was in third grade. He was making fun of fat kids who dress

up like Japanese guys. He was in third grade. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like we got to cut him some slack. Also, think about the people who are around him. You know, Kenny can't even step up to him and confront him because he can't talk. He's like a friend

of a friend, I guess. So I feel kind of bad for bringing that up. Carmen? Yeah. You know someone who knows Cartman? Every fat guy knows each other. Wait, are you guys like cousins? Carmen is a friend of Ralphie Mae, who is a friend of Patrick. Uh-huh. Yeah. Another rest in peace. Pat, you should just get super fat, dude.

I think I'm going to get thinner living here. No. No, you, no. Get really fat. Why? Why would I want to be funny, dude? I want him to win. I don't. That's losing. If I, yeah, it would be losing. If I'm winning. I'm gaining, I'm gaining points. If you're winning, you're gaining. If you're winning, you're gaining.

Patrick, I want to get you, I want you to get fat then. Now I don't want to, now I want to get thin again. Okay, I want you to get thin. We're going to fat you up. I think because I don't have a car or a license, I'm going to have to. I'm going to start sending you edible arrangements. Oh, I got a fucking, God damn it. Oh, I got to eat that edible arrangement.

Oh, my God. No, I have to. God, I have a frozen Snickers bar that I have to eat so soon. I took it out of the freezer to thaw and forgot about. I have to renew my license. Oh, shit, yeah. I was supposed to do that. I was supposed to call the DMV, like, before this, and I didn't, because I was setting up the table.

You have two days? Yeah, I have two days to do it, but I have to, it expires on the 23rd. You don't drive, it doesn't matter, right? Well, I still need a license. For what? Buying cigarettes. Nice. There's six bucks here.

There's six bucks here. Back on cigarettes? I don't know. I might. I might just. Might as well. To do it, man. $20 for jewel pods?

Big and fat guy. Hamburger, Patrick, smoking a cigarette. I don't know. I feel like this could be a huge, a huge new era for you. I don't, I think, it's either I'm going to get, I'm going to be so bored here that I just eat myself to death like Orson Wells or like I go. You're a lot like Orson Wells. Yeah. In what way?

I mean, just in a lot of ways, you know. In what ways? I mean, you're just super, you're super fat. Like Orson Welles. Yeah. Yeah. You're a great actor. Thank you.

Mm-hmm. I've not had my shot at, um... Well, I do, I do technically, I do radio also. Yeah. Just like Orson Wells. Just like Orson. Oh, no. I'm going to die eating fucking candy like Orson Wells.

Wait, do the... Let's do the War of the Worlds. Okay. We could do that. We could do War of the Worlds right now. Yeah. Hey, guys, oh, guys, I didn't mean to interrupt you guys. There's a, I think there's a, weird, there's a weird guy.

I think an alien came out, guys. Guys, I think an alien just came out. And alien just came out. Pat, don't look behind you. There's an alien behind you. Hey, um, hey, Michael. There's a alien. There's probably someone named Michael listening to this.

So let's do, like, Michael, watch out. Michael. Michael. Oh, Michael. Oh, Michael. Punch your, punch your penis. Michael, stop the car. There's an alien coming out, Michael.

Michael, stop the car, get up now. Make a you turn. I don't care if you're on the highway. Make another turn. Go back the first. Pull into the jack in the box. Okay, now pull back out. Michael, stop the car and get out.

Okay, now. Whatever you do, Michael, don't look in the trunk. Get out of the car. Michael, if you're driving right now, close your eyes. Michael, I love you. 10. Michael. Close your eyes, don't look in the truck.

Michael, say good night to me. Michael, you're stuck in a game of crazy taxi. Michael, pull, Michael. Michael. Pull, open the. Michael pull. Michael pole. Michael pole, if you're listening to this.

Paul. Michael, pull, open the hood of your car on the highway. Do it right now. Pop the hood. Michael, show me your boobs. Show the driver next to you, your boobs. Show the driver next to you. Show the driver next to your boobs, Mike.

Michael. Michael, you have to do it. Michael. You have to save America right now. Michael, you have to do this for the show. I hope we have one crazy person listening to this. Named Michael. Not even named Michael.

Can you imagine? If our, like, our schizophrenic fan who's, like, just way, been waiting to go nuts, like, was just named Michael Pole. Yeah. It's so fucking hot in New York right now. It's like 110 degrees. Yeah, man. It's the same cold summer. I think, yeah, it's pretty hot here, too.

We've had this horrible three-month heat wave. I think we've literally already made this joke on the last episode. I don't even know I fucking Man I went on a I went on like a two mile walk today I went to What are you creaking around

Nothing that's the cat His old antique chair that he lives Yeah was the cat playing on like a rocking horse or something The cat was playing on a rocking horse Okay exactly I'm so smart Yeah What was I gonna fucking say

Two mile walk Two mile walk two mile round trip walk I went went to, because I wanted to see, I've driven by it a bunch of times, it is, there's a castle that says candy kingdom on it, but I found out this morning, I was like, oh, what, what is that? So I wanted to see if it was a candy castle. Turns out it's, it's a therapist's office that's inside of a castle, and it is across the street, like diagonally, from a shack that is a chili doll.

stand and a notary public that's so sick it's so awesome I'm moving to New Hampshire you gotta you gotta fucking come to this guy's shack you need to get a you need to get a gun dude he said in the shack I went in there found out it was cash only I think I'm gonna go tomorrow see if these two dogs are gun only yeah

there's a sign or stealing cash or you have to rob cash or stealing there's a sign in there And it says protected by the Second Amendment. Like, it's like one of those security ones, but it says protected by Second Amendment. That's sick, dude. They just have a turret aimed at the door. Yeah.

You're only allowed one person in the store at a time. That was the rule before COVID. Every town... Better get those slippery fingers off them snickers are my nephew's going to do you up. Every town in New Hampshire, like, grew around just a shack that is two unrelated things in the same. building.

Yeah. Like, that's just how they create towns in New Hampshire. There's a... Yeah, I'm from... I'm from Blockbuster Home Depot, New Hampshire. Every town is just named after the two biggest chain companies. I'm from... I'm from candy shop gynecologist.

Yeah. I'm from library tattoo parlor. I'm from preschool shooting range. that's a little that's a little too close to home you might want to walk that one back yeah there was there was there was there was a shooting

there was a shooting at a preschool in a bank 7-11 at New Hampshire all right you're right yeah this is the episode we're not going to joke about school shootings you're right guys I'm sorry I think we should I think we need to lay off dude yeah I think we got to lay off

I don't we have never ruined the point We've never really talked about school shootings. We've talked about one specific shooting. No, we talked... We've talked about Mandalay Bay. Okay, let's do Columbine this time. No, Patrick.

Caleb talks about Adam Lanzo, like, every episode. Not every episode. I'm not like... The last normal episode, we had a joke about the school, bringing a chimpanzee to school. Oh, yeah. That's a different... That's just...

That's like a shark tank invention. That's not like talking about... That's a Caleb's invention, and we didn't have one of those. We haven't had those in a long time. So we had to do one. We had to do one for the old fans. Oh, no, wait, no, because the Cloaca Cube episode is in the dark... It's in the dark files.

In the dark timeline? The dark timeline. The dark 31. That's what I started calling them. Uh-huh. We got to figure out how to... They're never being released. We have to figure out how to edit one word from each of those into a sentence, and then

we'll release that. The dark sentence. The dark sentence. And then we can put all of them on a thumb drive and sell it to someone. We can put them on a thumb drive and throw it into the sewer somewhere and make all our fans look for it. What if I'll put it on it, I'll put the first 31 episodes on a thumb drive in a manila envelope and hide it somewhere in New York City. And you can find it. And somebody has to, I will give, I will give cryptic clues once a week as to where it is.

Stuff like. McDonald's. Yeah, stuff's like, you might be loving it when you find this envelope in a hamburger... In the bathroom of McDonald's. ...of your loving it here. And they'll be like... You might pick two. This is like Cicada 3301.

I just can't do this. We should... I feel like it would be funny if we did do a scavenger hunt for the fan. When you find this thumb drive, you're going to want to talk about to Taco BELBA about it To all of your French fries Pizza

ice cream We will be the only podcast to do a scavenger hunt That would be Another Another feather in the cap I feel like we can do it Absolutely

We can do that tomorrow We're changing the form I mean that's probably the easiest thing to You just take an object can you put it somewhere. Also, we're just good at clues. We're like three of the top clue masters that there are. Yeah.

You know. We've worked with Clue Masters before. We have. We've worked with the Supreme Clue Master. Yeah. So I feel like we could do it, you know. Like hide it. Like, where would we hide it?

We'd hide. Well, we can't say it on the podcast. Ooh, the belly of a whale. What about the center of the earth? what do you guys think about that and then for the clue and then for the clue we can say

the clue we can say you might even if you're in the middle of nowhere you'll find this clue the middle of somewhere but you write it in a you can write that in a quill on a piece of parchment

and then upload it online to Twitter I'm gonna put it in a bottle and put do a message in a bottle and send it into the ocean we could put it in it lands on the shore of one of those tribes that has like never had any contact with the outside world.

And they develop a list-based society. Oh, yeah. Six months later, somebody, some other fucking Christian missionary tries to go there. And they've all, they live in a future technology. Yeah. Six months later, there's a knock on your door and you open your door and just a hundred tribes people just just bow. Turn you into a pincushion with arrows.

Yeah. All standing in the hallway. your apartment they just take over your apartment they're living there after they take over the podcast yeah we each we still make the money now that's ideal it's you two and a hundred tribes yeah and they're like to hold on hold on you

hold no no one of you hold the fucking mic all right look I thought I was bad with it no that would be the best is if they had perfect form yeah They never, they, their audio always sound. They just send flack files. Yeah. I mean, it's unbelievable.

We have a guest on. They're, like, making them ride the Sibbeian. Yeah. Podcasting is a primal instinct. You don't have to know how to do anything to do it. You know, it harkens back to, back in the cavemen days when, when, you know, one, one caveman would sit. One caveman would sit in his cave and he would draw, you know, kind of like a racist caricature, but, like, ironically on the wall. Then all the other cavemen would come in the next day and look at it.

it while they were on their way to work and then go unga bunga and then go and then go and then go and kill whoever looked like that and then back in the day they would they would string up two rocks with uh one with whoever was the most blessed caveman had one very long pub they would cut it off and tie it to each rock and then they would talk into it like a telephone yeah that's true Alexander grand bell was actually a caveman who just lived that long he was just yeah he was just He was trying to recreate his old technology that he also invented. He's one of the best.

All right, top five inventors, go. Okay, uh, Tesla. Dr. Tesla? Elon Musk. Bob Steve Jobs. Dr. Pepper, he invented Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper with his 30 flavors. Dr. Thunder, Dr. Pepper's brother.

30 flavors, man, that's some, that's some bullshit, dude. Give me one flavor. Vanilla. I thought. How about that? John Battery, the inventor. Maybe two flavors. Vanilla and chocolate. Maybe one flavor.

Dr. Pepper. Exactly. I don't know, man. Stephen, the car. Steve the universe. I feel disrespectful. I feel disrespected. Yeah, Justin Royland.

Justin Royland has actually come up with so many incredible inventions for that show. You know, the time gun, the wet gun. Alcoholic grandpa. Slime, slime ball. Mr. Jerry. Uh, Mr. Meeseeks. Yeah.

Aliens. He invented aliens. Shout out to Ridley Scott who invented alien. Uh-huh. Yeah. He was like, what if there was a different kind of guy? Yeah. What if there was a scary guy?

What if the scariest guy ever was in the scariest place ever, outer space? Okay, so, okay, so I found a new type of guy. It's a xenomorph. It has a mouth in its mouth. Yeah. Supernormal. Yeah, that's normal. Yeah, I find an alien wife guy.

Wow. Love to have a penis mouth that impregnates a woman on a spaceship. Mm-hmm. I seriously love that. I love being that normal. Yeah. Why the fuck? Do they only sell menthol jewel pods now?

They got rid of mint because of fucking teenagers. Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna... If you have a nicotine addiction, you have to smoke a... You have to smoke a poop-flavored air. because that is going to be the next step. That's 10 years from now. The government's going to make all cigarettes mandated.

They're either poop or pee flavored. They will have a poop jewel. Yeah. And it's the only one that companies are allowed to make. I mean, all they have to do is put the nicotine salts and a little bit of glycerin in it. And they put a little bit of pee in there. I mean, that... It's a little sprinkle and tinkle.

A little sprinkle a tinkle in that jewel pod. Poop who's going to care. I, yeah, people are still going to smoke them. I like your cool guitar in the background. Oh, thank you. Thank you. You're just turning in your chair just to show us the guitar. Do you like it?

You suck. You can't play that. I can play it. I've played it on the show before and you got mad to me. My boy, Patrick, like the white slash. I have the same birthday as slash. Yeah? Yeah, 23rd. 1488.

No. That's your birthday, you Nazi? No. I'm not born in 88. Your birthday was H-H. Yeah, that's right Happy happy You're, yeah

Your birthday's 666 You fucking monster little demon bitch Yeah, you fucking weird ass freak I'm the devil I'm not a freak if I'm the devil The devil is the devil is God's freak The devil is the freak of all time The devil is basically the weird kid in God's class

Yeah Right It's you You're the weird kid's class I'm not the weird kid I never was dude You were the weird kid I was a kid, no, I'm not. I was a kid, my life was a nightmare.

I was a kid. I was a kid and life was so unfair. Yeah, nobody cared, dude. I was alone in the world. Everybody else was having fun except me. I went to bed at seven and woke up at 11 just to see if anyone would call. Nobody did, dude. No one called.

No one fucking did. All right, y'all want to hop into this list. Sure. Here, wait, can I, I have to pee. Yeah, me too. I get a. Oh, my God. You're kidding, minutes in.

P-time. Ooh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right, are we back? We have to edit. I had to get a soda to drink. All right, we got this list is... I'd go destroy the world real quick.

This list is... Yeah, because you look like Stewie Griffin, bitch. No, I don't. Oh, no. No, no. No, no. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.

You both look like the dog and the girl combined. I don't look like Meg. You look like Stewie. You look like... You look like... magnet. No, no, you look like Bertram. You look like Stewie's nemesis. You look like Stewie's evil twin, Bertram. He said nemesis. I said nemesis. You ain't Nemo? I'm Nemo. You ain't Nemo? I'm Nemo. No, you look like all the Rugrats combined. That's fine. Yeah. One inch tall and two.

That's fine. No, it's not fine. Because then I'm the same height as you. No, Stewing the baby. I'm huge, dude. I'm not Stewie the baby. No, you're Rugrats, the kids. Rugrats the kid Rugrat the kid You're the only famous outlaw I'm regret the kid No that's what you are basically You're basically Stewie

You're basically now that I look at you You're pretty much a poo Do your stewie impression I don't have one because it's so far away from who I am It's like me trying to do an impression of like Jackie Kennedy Like it's impossible I thought you were going to say Jackie Chan

Caleb you're like if Kaiyu learned crime statistics no not true yeah you are no yeah you are yeah no

not true crime statistics why because I fight crime because I fight a certain type of crime in your eyes yeah yeah that's right you fight a very specific you fight yeah

I don't I'm not I'm not racist and I'm not a Cayu and I have hair you can see my hair I have hair all over my head You just colored your head with a color pencil before you started recording. No, I didn't.

I didn't. No, I, no, I, you just scribbled on your head with a sharpie. You're a light red hair. You're Harold and the purple crayon. You look like Harold and the Purple Crayon. You use the purple crayon to color in your hair. You're hairy in the purple penis, and you have a purple penis. I'm hairy in the Henderson's, and you're Harold in the purple crayon.

Yeah. Not. Because I'm fat, and I'm covered in hair. Meanwhile, you literally just did Peter Griffin when you said fat. Fat and I'm covered. Except I'm fat. I'm fat and I'm covered in hair. You're basically living his dream right now.

No, I'm not. Yeah. Eating food. I'm drinking soda. That's a second dream. He has a second dream. He has two dreams one. One is to eat food, the other is to drink a soda.

Yeah. Sounds pretty good to me. What's this list, man? Top Ten Reasons the World Today Sucks by Serperior 77. The description of the list is, it is self-explanatory. Please do not bring celebrities into this either. They mean Justin Bieber. Number one.

You know what he's saying there. Number one is war. And the creator of the list, Superior 77, says, there is so much war and conflict going on today. My home country, Afghanistan, was destroyed by conflict. Damn. This is, I think, our first Afghani list. Oh, speaking of the Justin Bieber thing.

How many of the Afghani top tens list do you think are about how bad war sucks? I know. Okay, I said that without reading the Justin Bieber thing. I said it without reading this person's bio. Because their bio, their about thing just says, I am personally not a fan of Justin, but I feel that people are really beginning to take everything too far, especially when people hate the song purely because Justin is in it.

And if you want to put him out of business, stop talking about him. Whoa. So, that's right. Don't give him the time of day. Yeah, don't even give Justin. Saying his name gives him power. There's a comment. These comments are not very funny on the war one, but they are funny in how different they are from what we're usually, like,

accustomed to from the top tens. Like, this comment says, my grandfather and grandmother were brutally slain in a massacre 20 years ago. Which I just get, that's an insane comment to see on this website. Yeah. Someone says, this has been a very horrible issue ever since ancient times and still keeps going on today. That's from Joe Boy. That's from Noam Chomsky. Yeah.

Wow. Wow. Thank you, Professor Chomsky. Number two is corrupt leaders. That's right. Mean parents. Mm-hmm. Horrible teachers, gross school lunches.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a comment on this. This is a fucked up rules. Yep. I wonder why this is a problem. Cough Democrats. Obama, cough Lyndon B. Johnson.

I'm blaming it all on LBJ. Yeah, it goes all the way back. Yeah, I'm pulling up the U.S. debt clock and just getting pissed off at LBJ right now. Oh, my God. What does you say? 25 trillion? There's a comment that says, especially in Brazil, I hope Bolsonaro will be a good president. Oh, no.

Yeah, and I'm pretty sure this is an old list, too. Bolsonaro's been great, dude. he does a funny prank every week where he pretends to die yeah this list is from 2015 so that person commented saying i hope bolsonaro will be a good president of 2015 i love every every fucking news article about bolsonaro that comes out is like president bolsonaro lost a poker game against an evil monkey and the monkey the monkey jacked him off but not very good and he couldn't come and he's in the hospital right now for that he's in the hospital bed just like like he's always got in the hospital with blue balls He got such bad blue balls that he had humongous elephantitis yoga ball ball sack, and now he's in the hospital, and they're draining it. They're draining it. But for some reason, the female nurse can't get anything out, so they're working on getting him a beautiful man. Yeah. He's also gay.

I don't know. I like him. I think he has swag, dude. Is Bolsonaro gay? Yeah, dude. Is he? He's super gay. I didn't know he was.

No, he's not gay. He hates, he kills game. His name is literally short for balls in a romance. Mm, that's wrong with in a romance. Yeah. You think about it. And think about it. Jair or Jair, how do you pronounce his first name?

Gay. Exactly. Gay balls in a romance. Yeah, the signs are there. President Balsanero today got stuck in a zip-up bait hoodie. and they're having to use the jaws of life to pry his nose out of the zipper Ball sack A-hole, dude, he wants to do

the boo-ya. True. Number three is racism. And the two comments on here are, isn't it ironic that white kids are getting racism upon them? And everybody can be racist, and it's fine, unless you're white. that's true man

that's some real shit yeah racism is is fine against white people at now it's true I don't nobody nobody does

I mean I don't care anytime somebody you know all the times that I get called a cracker I barely even blink yeah yeah

about you two every time you two call me a cracker like it hurts but I I acknowledge that it's fine because I'm white

yeah um the reason I wanted to do this list is because at this point it starts to kind of be 50-50 and with stuff that's actually making the world suck and some top tens isms because number four is

immature children which is that's true just under war corrupt leaders and racism it's immature children immature kids I got the creator of the list comments at school, kids under 10 talk about drugs and other subjects, but in an immature way. Yeah, they're talking about drugs.

They're like, I'm going to do, I'm going to... They're saying, they're saying freaking goo-go-gaga marijuana at school now, and we're just letting this happen. The G-G-G-G-Goo, is actually what people in the street call G-HB. Yeah, watch out. Your kids are saying go-go-go-gaga. What they actually mean is I'm smoking. I am addicted to marijuana. I'm addicted to GHB and other research chemicals.

Yeah. Know what your kids are using as shorthand. Things like Mama and Dada can actually mean... Mama is marijuana. Dada is crack cocaine, actually. So just be weary. If your kid says, I'm going Gaga for PCP, they might actually be doing P.

Yeah, that's true. That's something you should watch out for. That's a warning sign. That's a Translation of... Yeah. I'm addicted to Crocodile. They could actually have drug issues. Bubba? Like when a baby wants, like, it's bottle. No, it's not Bubba. It's Buba actually means barbiturates. Bar-barbiturits. They're saying they're going to take two. They're going to take two barbiturates just like Marilyn Monroe and they're going to get knocked

the fuck out. Mama actually stands for Marilyn Monroe who died of drugs And so when they say Mama They're saying that they want to join the 27 clubs Yeah, they want to do enough barbiturates To kill the 27 month club Learn the-huh

How about that? Yeah, that's what they're joining That's what these kids are joining now. Learn the dangerous, the dangerous acronyms that your kids might be using And abbreviations in their text messages Like when a kid says, Hey, do you want to do LSD?

What they're actually saying is, hey, do you want to do lysurgic acid diethalamide? They're saying, they're saying, let's skate, dude. Yeah. That's what they're saying. Let's skate, dude. And skating, it means going on the ice. That's cocaine. Yeah.

Caheen. Laid a smelly dump. That's what they're saying. Licking stamps. Yeah, I just LSD in the bathroom. Looking stamps, Dad. Yeah. looking secretly at dad

your child may be watching you yeah your child you should never put that fucking two way mirror in the office like the dad like takes his son's phone to like look through the text messages and make sure nothing's going on

they see LSD and he turns around there's like a hole in the wall and the kid is just peeking through there's a painting and his eyes are in the painting yeah come to think of it I don't know I don't remember hanging this painting up of my son that has eyes holes cut out.

Did your parents, like, take your phone and look at it? No. A few times, but I got very angry. Dude, I was, I would just go and I'd just nuke my phone. I'd delete everything from it. As if, like, that's less incriminating. Like, oh, my son has never sent a text message, apparently, on this phone. My parents trusted me too much growing up.

That is so apparent. Yeah. Yeah. Makes sense. I think we all knew that. How? How is that a parent? You have a guitar and you're addicted to quitos.

What does me have a guitar have to do? That's rock and roll. That's devils. Yeah, I see in your room a TV, a guitar, and three skateboards. Well, what's that box? That's a box. I have to see shoes. You know, your parents may not have gone through your phone, but I know who did.

It was the devil, and he liked what he saw when you were looking up the tabs to play to play. to play fucking CKY songs. I'm converting to Christianity. Oh, you're going to be one of those guys now? I'm going to be a trad-Cath guy now. I think I'm basically going to be Catholic, yeah. Yeah, you're going to be one of those Catholic guys that's like, well, it's fine. I figured I'd had to lower the chair.

You just fell down in the middle of that sentence. Just those guys that... I'm just going to be Catholic. Oh, yeah, I'm Catholic now, regardless of all the fucking pedophilia, whatever. being Catholic on the left You can just be anti-Semitic That's why people do it Yeah

And you don't You can You can circumvent Having to care about pedophilia Right Yeah exactly You can kind of like If you don't care about

The Epstein stuff But you still want to be a leftist You know you just become Catholic And then you love pedophiles Yeah that's true Yeah Yeah I know about the Epstein stuff I love it

I wish he was Catholic too You could have done some great work For our church Yeah, it's really he focuses energy on the wrong place Yeah Yeah, he's playing for the other team Massad It should

It's Yeah, like You meet another pedophile you really like And you find out that they're Massad agent and not Catholic You get really upset Oh, I thought No, I was thinking, like, parents thinking, like, oh, yeah, that, they play for the other team,

and it's just like they just go to a different church. Catholic Chris Rock saying there's Catholics, and then there's pedophiles. And he's saying it as the pedophiles are the good ones. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's funny. Yo, that's some funny-ass shit, man, for real. Number five is bad music. And the top comment here is, music.

Music should go back to the way it was in the 1930s and 1940s, the era of proper music. And things like electronic dance music should be banned as it is not music. Music in the 30s and 40s fucking sucked. It was sick, dude. Everything was about playing hopscotch with a girl. Does a bird just flying to someone's house? What was that? Is there a bird in your house?

I have a clock. Fuck me, dude. This fucking clock... You have a bird in your house. Janet got a clock that makes a bird. bird sound every hour on the hour, and I hate it and I always forget to

turn it off before we record. It will make me go to say. Caleb, that has happened like multiple times during recording and I've never thought. I just forget every single time. That's the first time I've noticed it. That's happened every... I'm always like, please, nobody's saying anything. Because I can't talk about this clock, dude.

It's fucking... I hate it so much. But it was like $40. This fucking stupid clock, dude. Girls are dumb. Here's the second comment on this. Girls are so dumb. I used to love rap and pop, and then it went downhill on the late 2000s.

More and more bad singers came in. Hardly any good singers. From Ralph the Pizza. Pizza, dude, it's a cool name. Once we lost Kevin Rudolph, dude, it was basically over. I mean, everything went downhill as soon as rap and rock and roll combined when Kevin Rudolph made Let It Rock. Bad music.

When Kevin Rudolph overdosed on Noss Energy? drink. Yeah. He kind of ruined music forever. Have you seen him now? He looks awesome, dude. He's the best. He looks like he looks like he's slowly turning into blue strap now.

Whoa, dude. Yeah, it's awesome. I mean, he just looks like every skateboarder who's like still doing it. No. Yeah, they all look like that, dude. Listen to this comment. Bad music, the rap genre, which was considered to be a genre that would inspire us to problems, cruelness, helping us going thought,

Pain, sadness, pain, et cetera, and rapping about racism, terrorism, poverty, problems, love. And that has turned into some really bad genre that has very similarity to pop music. I mean, like, when you hear a new rap song, and then you see there is some girl curvy, and then actually dancing and twerking her ass, and then literally is mostly made like porn. Edit, I prefer mostly the old schools era, such as Tupac, Biggie, NWA, Ice Cube, etc. Kevin Rudolph. I'm looking at him. Kevin Rudolph in a new song with Lil Wayne. What?

He looks like a shitty... He looks like a shitty Hollywood Boulevard, Andrew W.K. Yeah, exactly. He looks like... Actually, yeah, I guess he does... I'm seeing him with a lot of D.C. hats. I guess he does. He looks like Greg Lutzka.

Something about... Yeah, something about these kind of guys, he's like washed up rock stars. When they turn 40, they just all become Latino. They get that hat in the scarves. And then they just kind of... And they love, like, big flannels, and they start getting, like, cholo tattoos.

Yeah. Wait, I love them. I need to... I'm sorry, but I need... It's because he's an L.A. guy, right? What's up? What's up? Listen to this next one.

Number six, man-made disasters. There's a comment on here that says, Chemical Wars incoming. Get yourself a bunker. Garav Fush-Dar. And I just Google... I just Google Garaf Fushtar because I thought it was like a historical figure or something.

It's just a guy. Who is he? There's just a bunch of Indian social media profiles just come up when you search that name. Garav Fuzdome? It's Garav's warning. Chemical Wars incoming. Get yourself a bunker. There's one comment here that just says, sup.

Man-made disaster. Soop. What up? What up? I'm the man-made disaster. That's so awesome. One of the worst things that could happen is animal cruelty. which I hate.

Ah, I hate it. I fucking hate it, dude. Actually, we should be getting more mad at the list. Yeah, that's true. No, we can get really mad at number seven. People are too politically correct. Ugh! Take it back!

I hate that people are politically correct. I'm like a pot of clams light right now. I'm steaming. It feels like it used to be Yosemite Sam, and now it's Yosemite Samantha. Uh-huh. You know? Yeah.

That's kind of stuff I'm mad at. Yeah, now it's Elma, now it's Elma boobs. Elmer boobs. That's right. Now it's bug, now it's bugs, uh, bugs. Bugs Bunny dressed up as a woman. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Now it's Donaldina duck. You should be SpongeBob Squarepants. Now it's SpongeBob penis ass because he's gay now. Yeah. Now it's Squidward woman. Squidward tentacle porn. Yeah.

And it's Krusty Crabbs, the STD. Yeah, dude. And Mrs. Puff, which is what your... Man, it used to be freaking Ren and Stimpy. Now it's men are wimpy in today's society. You know what I'm talking about?

Used to be angry beavers was two beavers. Now it's like, well, the feminists are... A couple angry bevers, right? It used to be Opie and Anthony, and now it's the Anthony Coomia show. Yeah, he used to be Opie and Anthony. Now it's Jim and Sam.

What fuck is this, dude? political correctness run amuck yeah used to be a family guy now it's uh now it's no family man it's a girl now it's Peter's family yeah hey hey SJWs hey SJWs hey SJWs it's Jim and Pam not Jim and man

yeah it's Christmas Eve not Christmas Steve big guy yeah that's right it's according to Jim not according to her Yeah You used to be home improvement Now it's last man standing Yeah

Man it used to be Snoop Dog Nowadays it's more like poop log Now it's like Snoop Lion Used to be Saturday Night Live Now it's now it's hating white lives It used to be Mr. Show. Now it's with Bob and David. Misses with Bob and David.

Yeah, with Bobina and David. Now it's I'm with Hervid. Oh, yeah, basically. You know, that's how it is. It used to be Tony Hawk. Now it's... Blow my talk. It's just completely unrelated.

Yeah, it used to be Halo. Now it's called duty. Used to be Bam Margera. Now it's Pam Margerha. Margearha. Used to be jackass. Now it's black ass. Used to be Brandon Deekamillo.

Now it's... Used to be branded. It used to be Deco's Freestyle. Now it's Kinko's application. Kinkgo's application. I had to get a job. Oh, fuck me, dude. Yeah, it used to be the yin-yang twins.

Now it's still the yin-yang twins, but they're Chinese. So sad. Yeah. Oh, my God, dude. What did people say about this? Nothing interesting. Yeah, it's just basically what we're doing. People are pussies nowadays.

Yeah. That's true. Number eight is, hey. You know what I hate that it rhymes. Eight and hate? That's the hateful eight right here. Yeah, we just found them. This is probably the best answer, says somebody.

I mean, it covers most everything. Yeah, you kind of got everything kind of wrapped up into one thing. Hate is the root of all problems. Wish I could delete hate from this world. Uh-huh. You basically can. One of these comments at the end of it. Listen to crooked media.

One of the end of these comments says, end world suck. End world suck I don't know I just want to say that That's a fun phrase End world suck And world suck Number nine is global warming

I'm actually Number 10 though is what we need to go to Number 10 is no family time Yeah Top common is for me I hate my family Because they treat me like crap I think life wouldn't suck

If I never see my family ever again The internet has taken away All of our family time In the present, the internet like a LSD. Dude, I love getting together and being on the internet with my four boys. Really true. We actually many people out there are born into parents that are not hot and do not have good-looking face. And then actually their kid are running away and going into people that are more cutier than his or her parents.

That is the problem, dude. The problem is kids think their parents aren't hot and they're running away. Porn has warped the idea of parents so much that we all think we need to have a hot, fucking big-titted mom and a dad with a huge cock. Look, it used to be modern family. Now it's modern taboo family. Yeah, I think this is true.

No family time. Back in my day, I probably watched the, honestly, I probably watched the Italian job with my mom, probably 60 times in my life. Nowadays, kids are going, getting the Italian job from 7-Eleven 60 times a day. The problem with society now is there's no, there's no more Will Ferrell movies to watch with your kids. That's true. That's true. They just put out a new one. I mean, what are you going to do?

Is it a Will Ferrell Adam McKay movie? It doesn't matter. It doesn't, well, that's the problem. It used to matter. Isn't Chance the Rapper, like, the biggest fan of the house? I don't know anything about Chance the Rapper. Patrick keeps track of what Chance the Rapper is a fan of. Yeah, he watches him on Letterbox.

He checks all his likes on Twitter. Let's see what Chance thinks about this movie. High Place Part 2. Chance the rapper tweeted Chance. I'm going to call him Chance, like, he's my friend. He is your friend. But, uh... Well, it's just his name.

Yeah, he's not my friend. I call him Mr. Rapper. Yeah, Mr. the Rapper. I have to call him. Mr. The Rapper when I see him, but when I talk about him. Mr. The Rapper, I'm a huge fan. Yeah. I don't think he likes the house, though.

He strikes me as a stepbrothers fan. Oh, well, yeah, but... But who isn't, man? That's right, who isn't? Who isn't, dude? I got someone to flam in my throat. Sure. I do.

Chance the rapper, yeah. Chance the rapper defends the house against terrible Rotten Tomato's score. He should defend his head. house against me, because I'm going to come for him. Yesterday, I watched a movie that I never heard of. It had a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes. It was funny as fuck. I saw the house on an airplane, and I was like, oh, that's so weird.

They, like, edited it so bizarrely for the airplane, and it must have been terrible because of that. And then I watched it, not the airplane version is exactly the same. They just, it's just a crazy movie. I don't even know what it is. It was probably, like, it was probably a fine movie. And then they... Basically, what my dad does for a living in a movie.

Yeah, it was pretty... It wasn't very realistic. They made a movie about having sex with you, dude? No! No, they didn't. Yeah, they did. No. Yeah, they did.

They did not. Amateur cuckoo kangaroo X, X, X, X, X, X, X. That's what it's called. Ex-cangaroo? Yeah. No. Yeah. It's not called that.

to all get together. There is no website called X Kangaroo. Families used to get together and watch home movies. Now they all get together and watch X videos. That's right. I'm getting my kids. I'm getting all my kids and my wife together. We just got this new flat screen, curved LED

TV, and we're going to watch We're watching EFucked. We're watching the Minion on EFucked. We're watching EFucked Penal Compilation 13. That's just how it used to be, man. That was what Reagan's America was about.

Reagan's America was, they were going to have another, the minion was going to continue. The Reagan was going to put a bunch of money into the minion. You guys know the minion, right? Of course I know the minion, yeah. Beed-o, be-o. No, it's not that minion. Someone should put them together.

Yeah. The minion was this video on EFooked, and it's a fat guy like eating sandwiches while girls have sex with them. Yeah, man. It's awesome. It rocks, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

Now it's all, now it's all ex-hamster and black.com and Chinese.com and hawaiians.com and Chinese. It's not so good. Yeah, it's basically the same concept as blacked where it's super racist and everybody watches it, but it's a Chinese guy now. They're breaking stereotypes, dude Yeah, that's true Yeah That's a Chinese guy with a giant dick Basque.com

And it's a Spanish guy Oh fuck Number 11 This is kind of getting philosophical Anthropological This is humans Damn Whoa

Wow Oh, wow, dude. Then there's the lowest comment on this just says Muppets. Stupid humans, I'm an alien now. That's a good comment. That's like a t-shirt that Patrick would have worn in 2009. Yeah. I love that.

I miss those kind of t-shirts, but like not the explicit like ones about boobs and beer, but the ones from Walmart that just made no sense. Like I have one, or Jana has one that just says like, I hear voices. in my head on like a camo t-shirt do you guys remember those shirts that would be like it would be like a little stick figure and it'd be like homework no thank you i'd rather play video games and it was like a diagram of a video games all the the video game

the word the words video games were like made out of controllers yeah yeah yeah it didn't even read as anything it was like joystick Xbox controller arcade cabinet yeah there's one i had that was just like I rock And it was a stick figure It was a sleeveless shirt That said I rock I never wore it

And it was a stick figure playing a guitar I missed the Bush era dude What about it? They should make a shirt That's like a really buff stick figure And it says homework I'm gonna kick my teacher's ass And then kids will wear it to school

And get in trouble If I have to do homework I'll kill myself What about like a picture Of like FPS Russia of blowing up homework with a bunch of thermite. Whoa, that'd be sick. That'd be a good share.

I think we're moving into the child's t-shirt market now. Yeah. I think we might need to make some kids' t-shirts. Yeah, I mean, we already have kill your local griefer. I have a balloon with poop in it. You know, stuff like that. Stuff that makes kids laugh.

What do kids, kids hate homework now? Nowadays is the beginning of time, buddy. Yeah, that's a problem with today's generation. Got these nerd-ass kids like fucking. Elon Omar's kid Right, fucking nerd Shut up, dude Doing your homework

Yeah Man, we used to have homework But now with the freaking pandemic We got to work from home Right? Wow Yeah Wow, dude

It makes you fucking think about shit It makes you think about life In a different sort of way Man, we used to be kids Now we're adults Yep It seems like we used to be kids Childhood ruined

I'm 23 Just it turned 18 Yeah, childhood officially ruined. Yeah, childhood ruined. Yeah. Childhood ruined. I didn't get carded at the liquor store. Because I was buying soda.

Man, we used to, you know, a few years ago, we used to have pop smoke and juice world and little peep. Now we got no smoke, no juice, and no little peep. Mm-hmm. Yeah, we used to have Tupac, Rock Joe, and Mr. Music. And now all those guys are dead, too. Sad. We used to have Vern Troier, Joe C, and Gary Coleman, and now...

We have no C. Now we have Patrick. Thanks a lot of Pat. And now we have Learn Troyer. Learned Troyer, Gary Oldman, and Joe from... Joe... Joe Exotic. Joe...

Fucked up, dude. Joe Gatto. Yeah. From impractical chokers. We used to have John Gotti, uh, John Gotti, Tony Soprano and,

and Homer Simpson. And now it feels like you got, well, you got Barack Obama, uh, Mr. Chicken and the lonely island. What the fuck happened,

dude? Yeah, we used to, we used to be eating Baskin-Robbins ice cream and, uh, singing Christmas carols, and now we have freaking Carol Baskins and Robin Williams is dead. Yeah.

It used to be 2019. Now we got COVID-19, dude. It really makes you think. We used to have Dan Soder, and then Mayor Bloomberg banned Soder in New York City. I have something wrong with my brain Fuck me Number 12, feminism Yeah, someone went

BORAD on this list Someone went real shit Yeah I like, I just want to Poisonous ideology made by Big Money Eaters Big Money Eaters Big Money Eaters

Big money eaters What does that mean? I want to skip ahead real quick to number 16 which has no comments and is just stressful environment. The last of feminism is the last comment has gone too far

and lies about its past. Like the Jews. Number 16 has no comments and is just stressful environment. That's right. Now I'm imagining like a like a group of black guys on a corner saying that black guys used to be the real women

of the world. In ancient Mesopotamia. Yeah, in ancient Mesopotamia, the first women were actually black men. Number 19's clinical depression, and the only comment is, too much stress and depression. That's true. Number 43, I skipped ahead a bunch, but number 43 is Rule 34. Damn. Whoa.

That's opposite, kind of. Yeah. I don't know. feel like that's actually chill mm-hmm I feel like that's not a reason today sucks damn you guys remember how the TSA the TSA

bad sex you guys remember how the description of the list said please don't put any celebrities on here yeah number 33 is celebrities somebody sticking it to the man dude yeah how about rule breakers that should be on here yeah let's add that cancer mumble rap

too many murder People not understanding the importance of wearing clothing The last one is parents pushing kids around too much Facts, dude That's seriously true, man Facts as fuck Facts is so fucking true Absolutely

They basically nailed us Too many murders is right above that one It's not murder in general It's that there's just too many Yeah, if we had a few that would be okay Yeah, if there's like 50-60 murders You know Yeah, that's kind of fine

State sanctioned. Yeah, as long as, yeah, exactly. As long as it's mostly swatting, then it's fine. As long as it's mostly Twitch streamers, it's dying. Mm-hmm. We need to stop streaming on Twitch or someone's going to swat us. Oh, my God. Somebody will swat Patrick.

I, yeah, I don't. Somebody, Patrick is going to die. Yeah, I mean, he's done for it. He's getting swatted. I forgot. I forgot. Now I don't want to do the Twitch stream anymore. He's such a big target.

He's dead. Right. he's done for you just Patrick's not going to stream anymore Caleb you I know you just that was that was not worse that you may look at his face I don't want to do it now I just someone's going to swap me as a joke where do you think do you think people know where you live I don't can't they trace the IP or whatever isn't that how they do it isn't that how they do it isn't that how they do it I don't know you just ruined Patrick's day Caleb I hope you're happy I am happy

I don't want to get swatted. I don't want to get swatted. You're going to get squatted. You're going to get squatted. Here's what you do. I don't want to get swatted. First, you have to join the SWAT team. So that you, while you're streaming, you get a call.

And they're like, we have to go. We have to go kill a guy. I think my cousin is on it. So I think I'm set. On the SWAT team? But he's in a different city. You should move to that city, man. There's only one.

There's only one. There's only one. They're like the Avengers. Yeah. Yeah. They move around. Do the Avengers only protect New York City? They only protect whites.

That's true, man. Yeah. That's fucked up. I know. Much like the Swat team. The Avengers is racist. If the Avengers were real, they would be extremely racist. Yeah.

And that's facts. Yeah, you, Dr. Strange. For example, Black Panther, extremely racist against whites. The Hulk, extremely racist against whites. The Guardians of the Galaxy. extremely racist against whites. Dr. Strange, who thinks that all Chinese people are Tilda Swinton? It's pretty fucked up, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to join the Avengers, and I'm going to change it from the inside. Yeah, I'm going to make the, we're going to, we're going to be the Chris Warner of the Avengers. Yeah, that's Hawking. It's not a bad idea. No, Hawkeye was bad, and then he joined the Avengers and became good, and he didn't kill the Avengers. I would join, and I'd be hot guns.

Yeah? Yeah, pretty much I'd be the hot one. Yeah. You'd be pretty sick. Yeah, we would do like a... We'd make most of our money off of calendars. You would be Captain America Cucka. Yeah.

Yeah, you would. Yeah, because I'd be, yeah, because I'd be taking it down America Cucca. Ice Cube style. No, you'd be the captain of it. You'd be the captain of you, America Cucca. No, I would change it from the inside. I joined the Clu Klux Klan so I could make big structural changes in the, the inside of the organization you know it the Avengers still exist in the universe where you

join them yeah or did you just admit yeah you just said you're joining the he just admit it yeah Caleb's joining them to destroy them I'm basically doing the uh like the black Klansman but I'm the white Klansman yeah I haven't seen I haven't seen that yet but isn't that don't they use Adam Driver for that so you're You're saying you're just going to be Adam Driver. I'm basically going to be Adam Driver. All right. Then,

then we're, then this is great because we have signed you up for the U.S. Marines. I'm really excited to start my career as a United States Marine. They're going to, remember when everyone got angry at him?

Because he said he signed up from the Marines after 9-11 because he wanted to get revenge on the Middle East. And everybody got really mad for like a day and they forgot about it, yeah. That's so fucking funny, so awesome, dude.

The thing is, like, everybody who's kind of caught up in the moment, you know? I, like, I probably would have done some dumb shit. Yeah. Right. Like, you're... I probably would have, like... I probably would have subscribed to Air America or something.

That would have been my version. I would have, uh... I would have joined the young Turks. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I would have fought the young Turks in Afghanistan. I would have joined... Yeah.

All right. Oh. All right, baby. I love you. That's the episode. Bye. Later. Bye, everybody. Bye.