Podcast About List - Ep. 109 - Shaquilla Keys

Episode Date: July 29, 2020

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You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. All right. You're a crap monster. I'm the courting now. I'm the courting. No, I am. I'm the courting. No, I'm the courting.

Last night I watched, I watched the usual suspects. I did not. No, take it back. Before I can go any further. You watched unusual butt six. Woo! No. Yeah.

But sex, there is no usual but sex. It was all unusual. There is. If you're gay, there's, that's usual. The mutual butt sex. It's really not that usual. I did not have any mutual butt sex. I didn't watch any usual or unusual butt sex.

I didn't do it. I didn't touch an ass or a suspect, okay? I just watched a movie. You watched the usual. of touching an ass. The usual suck men. That's what you watched. I'm not suspected of, I'm not suss, and I'm not but sex, and I'm usual.

Are you guys done? Yeah. I watched the usual suspects, and I was like, I was watching it with Jan, and I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot Kevin Spacey's in this movie. Oh, that's fucking weird. Well, whatever, we'll watch it anyway. Movie starts, completely forgot about this. Movie starts immediately directed by Brian.

singer comes up on stables oh my god i could i could not believe it did fucking hell i how many fucking pedophiles can you fit in one movie dude yeah every actor is a pedophile just look at every 20s 1920s movie were they pedophiles it was just like they were pedophilia is like you know you grade it on they just they just came up with that yeah they didn't that wasn't around back in the 20s it's true like i'm not going to call plato a pedophile though if he was doing that shit like in chic Chicago, he definitely would be. I mean, I would call him a pedophile. You would call Plato a pedophile?

Yeah, I don't care. Is it Socrates or Plato? No, it's Plato. I've always been more of an... It's so crates. Intellectually minded person than you anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Earlier, I was listening to the misfits.

I was doing the dishes and listening to the misfits and the whole time, I was just like, I'm not drinking anymore. That's a... I copied Caleb. I'm starting back today, dude. You're starting back today, yeah, because you have visitors. Yeah, I'm excited. But I'm not going to drink for, like, a month to see if I can do it.

There's no way. Just to see what happens. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I didn't even make two weeks. I was like, I'm going to make it two weeks. This is a bet. This is a bet now.

This is day 10, and I am being bailed out by Neil and Gus coming in town. I'm on day three. Yeah. How is it? I wake up and I don't feel like shit, so. Nice. But you. That's good.

What about when you go to bed? I'm just going, I'm just going insane. I'm going fucking crazy. Like, yeah, dude. I was sitting, I was listening to the Misfits, and then I was just doing like a thing where I was just doing like a Greek guy voice and just responding to everything that they were saying. It's just like, you have, you have something to, what? Oh, you killed their baby today?

Do not kill the baby. Do not kill the baby. Why you do this? Do not kill the baby. That's Greek? You have something to say, you say something nice. Yeah, this is your Greek guy? This is just an impression.

my best friend's dad growing up that's what he sounded like was he Greek yeah he's and he talked back to misfits songs no but now he did but now he did because you did what to my mommy today he did what to my mother you do not do this I remember that day we were just walking around and just making up misfits songs so that's some of the most fun I've ever had just like just walking around Central Square just being like I just saw a spider wow the best was like me just singing the actual part from teenagers from Mars and you were like you thought that was so funny and I was like I just sang an actual song because you didn't know the the lyrics are just funny

the gap between like different types of misfits songs are so funny because like they have one song that's like you do what to Jackie Kennedy do not do this to her yeah they're like they have half their songs are about like I just saw a skeleton wrapped in mummy in mummy rags on the other half are like, I just killed 300 women and had sex with them after they were dead. Right. And, like, there's just no in between at all. They're, it's so funny, it's like, the difference between, like, like, I guess horror core now and horror core in the 70s is like their, yeah, yeah, exactly. Their, like, basis for everything was either, like, psycho or, like, the wolf man.

Yeah. So, like, like, like, we get, like, slip knot and shit and we get, like, like, cool shit, like, people wearing, like, leather face masks. Yeah, they didn't know about the devil. Yeah, but back then, yeah, they had to wear, like, like, like, a. back that it's like, I saw an alien! He had a fishbow for a head! Yeah. Seeing about Marvin the Martian, if people are at home life.

These guys are Satanists. Oh, my God. Wow. Last night when I watched, I smoked weed again for the last time, last night, or for the first time in a long time, because I was also non-smoking. And when I was watching the usual suspects, you know the end where, like, it's revealed, he pieced everything together by, like, looking at the shit all, on the walls and stuff.

No, I've never seen the usual suspect. Oh, so in the movie, he, like, the main character tells this, like, whole story. Kevin Spacey tells this whole story, uh, and he just makes up details using, like, the names on the, uh, on the, like, wall behind the detective and, like, the random shit on the wall behind the detective, like, the towns and stuff. And I was just imagining Kevin Spacey and Brian Singer coming up with that scene in Brian Singer's office. And Kevin Spacey's like, yeah, here, let me show you.

It would be something like this. Yeah, I used to know this guy down in Poughkeepsie. His name was 7-year-old's penis, 9-year-old's penis, 8-year-old's penis, 6-year-old's penis. Big fat guy, you know. Whale of a man. And I was just making myself laugh so hard last night. Well, Jana had never seen the movie before, and I'm just spoiling it. Yeah, that's the best just ruining a movie.

I love, that movie sucks, dude. The usual suspects? It fucking sucks. I thought it was the coolest movie ever I didn't even like it in high school I was like annoying about that movie Like it was like I was maybe like the first movie I got into And I just got into like bad shitty movies

And that was my favorite one And I would show it to people And I would do that I would be like you're gonna love the twist ending This movie But it sucks dude None of the dialogue makes any sense Yeah

Fucking Gabriel Byrne is just doing an Irish accent The entire time And he's supposed to be like a New York cop It's fucking terrible, dude And also there's two pedophiles That made the movie Yeah, yeah

Fucking the movie The movie I got annoying about like that Was train spotting, I think Yeah Do you watch train spotting now Do you like it? Yeah, I think it holds up Yeah

I had not seen train spotting too Because my movie was fight club I was fight club for me Oh yeah I was really into fight club I would say those are all kind of in the same I watched genre of, like, I knowying movies of people.

Yeah, I got train spotting, and then in middle school, it was Sin City. Dude, Sin City is like, so, yeah, train spotting, train spotting, train spotting, and Sin City were both in middle school, but, oh, okay, well, Sin City's cool. Sin City was earlier than. So have you watched Sin City recently, Caleb? Oh, it does not hold up. It is the most, you have to turn it on, dude. It's on Netflix.

It is the most insane thing I've ever seen. I watched it for the first time when we were doing, when we started the Gun City noir campaign. Yeah, I'll watch it right now. You got to watch it, dude. It fucking, yeah, I don't even, it... I just remember thinking Bruce Willis had swag. Yeah. Dude, it's just like, it just looked, like, it looks so awful.

Just, like, all the bizarre, like, CGI-I, like, color grading. It makes, like, literally no sense at all. There's a scene where that's supposed to be, like, cool, where the protect, one of where the big guy with the, like, square jaw. Oh, Marve? Yeah, he gets hit by a car, like, six times. Like, the car just keeps driving. And going back and he's flying like 50 feet into the air and then falling back and like bouncing off the car again. Dude, it rules.

Dude, movies older than like five years. He plays a serial killer with anime like shiny glasses, dude. Yeah. Dude, I forgot Elijah Wood was in that movie. Elijah Wood for a while, he was trying to be just a regular actor. I mean, he's a horror guy, which is very funny. He produced like Mandy and all that shit. He's like a horror producer.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. It sucks to be like him or Harry Potter, who are the exact same guy in my brand. But you just do one. You play a kid once, and now everybody's like, yeah, you're the midget from the sword movie. He wasn't even a kid. He wasn't even a kid in the Hobbit. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. No, but yeah, he made the maniac remake. He was in that too. He produced, he's on Spectre Vision as his production company. They do a bunch of like that stuff. Yeah, pretty creepy. I remember. No matter how much he does that,

he will never, ever escape being Frodo. Right. Kind of sucks. Kind of the ultimate horror. Yeah. He should make a movie about that. Yeah. Yeah, being a guy who it was in a fantasy movie

and then trying to do Wilfred. Yeah. And then... Oh, yeah, fucking Wilfred, dude. Wilfred was funny. I watched the, um, on IFC. Wilfred is funny because it's funny to hear like an Australian guy be a dog.

Yeah, be... No, just say, You're sniffing your butt. Yeah. It's funny. An Australian dog. I watched the original on IFC. That thought the idea of an Australian dog is funnier than the show.

Yeah. Just thinking about an Australian dog. Just like sniffing bones and burying stuff and having an Australian accent. Makes me laugh. It's crazy how like every Australian show that gets adapted to like America, American audiences just like does better than the. the slap review the first season of review

is like one of the best best TV shows I think yeah it's really really good again probably is funnier in an Australian accent though oh yeah I tried to watch it and I don't remember it because I had both of them on Hulu at the same time

in like 2015 I'll have to rewatch it I'm sure some Australian guy is gonna be like oh you're gonna fucking love it I don't think we have an Australian fan I think somebody keeps telling us to come to Australia. We definitely have Australian people at our size. I know.

And it's a huge country. We would do a show in Perth or whatever, and the three people that listened to the podcast in Australia would not be able to make it. Right. Right. I don't even know who these fucking guys are. Australian people love internet irony. That's their thing.

That's true. Dude, they all walk around and they call each other. cunt all the time. True. They love bad words and stuff. That's true. We love bad words. Cunt is just like my best friend in Australia.

I've never heard Patrick say Cunt before. Yeah? Yeah. I don't like it, dude. It doesn't fit you. No, I don't like saying it. I don't like saying it. No matter how like fucking Irish I am, it doesn't sound right.

No, never. You're not very Irish either. I am like 92%. You look like an Irish like indie singer right now because of that fucking hat. But you're not Irish. Yeah. It doesn't, you're Irish, but you're not Irish. I'm not wearing a scally cap.

No, I'm Boston-I-Cap. If I was wearing a scally cap, I would look like a fucking... You're not even from Boston. You have to stop trying to steal fucking Boston Valor. You're not from Somerville, dude. I am. No, you're not. Your mom is from there or something.

Yeah, well, my mom is, so it's in my blood. Boston Irish is in my blood. No. I'm not stealing Valor. I'm California, Italian. You are. You are. I'm California Italian.

You are. I am. I'm Cambridge Normal. I'm United States America. Cameron is a scientist because he's from Cambridge. I'm my, I'm my house son. I am. It's true.

I'm a guy. I'm a guy with no job. I'm the guy, Elijah Wood. I'm the guy Elijah Woods, Spike Kids 3. God, dude. See, he played a kid in that. No, he played the guy. No, he played a guy.

He played the guy. I've never been so. so quickly and swiftly owned. Oh my God, dude. I'm so dumb. I didn't even think about the guy. The guy. I didn't even think about the guy part.

You, mother. I didn't know adults were allowed in that thing, except for the grandpa, who I love in that movie. Ricardo Multibon, Khan? Yeah. The best part of that movie is when he learns how to walk and he's like,

Oh, the boonie, I can walk, I can run. And then they're like, Grandpa, we need you to help save my sister. and then he just runs away on the moon Right He's like I don't care I love spy kids

But I fucking hated Shark Boy My um Wait my favorite part of the guy From from Spy Kids 3 Is his penis Yeah Let's go Woo

If you go to If you go to the Spy Kids Wiki and look up the guy There's a section that says quotes And it's I'm the guy The guy when he introduces himself And cake The guy right before his

death. Yeah, he really only had two lines in that movie. Well, he also says nothing is unwinnable. The guy, 40 seconds before he succumbs to the unwinnable level. Those are his three quotes. Yeah, nothing's unwinnable

except for the game, which you two just lost. Oh, my God. Fuck, dude. Come on, dude. Come on. Don't fuck with me. I'm fucking on a roll today. I'm a train. I saw Spy Kids 3D at Chunkies. Oh, yeah. Is that you're

Is that your own body? I only went to Chunky's one time. Chunky's rules. What is Chunkies? Chunkies is a movie theater that's also a restaurant in New Hampshire and in the greater, like... Every movie theater is a restaurant. Popcorn and pretzels, slurpy. No, they serve you food.

You have like a menu and stuff. You get a menu and you have a waiter and he interrupts the movie. There's not a menu. The waiter interrupts your movie and he asks and he goes, what do you? What can I get for you? That's the worst job in America. We only carry Pepsi products. That is more dangerous than Alaskan Crabfisher.

Yeah. That is fucking horrible, dude. Dude, it's a great place if you're like eight years old, but if you go to Chunkies when you're like 18 and you're seeing the Deadpool movie and you get way too high on a Monday and you see the Deadpool movie at noon and it's other guys your age and older

who also have the day off eating chicken nuggets. There was a place. in my hometown called Cinema Grill, which was similar. It was like a, it was like a, just a movie theater restaurant. And my dad, my dad loved, it wasn't even upscale. Like, it was like chicken fingers. Like, my dad loved the chicken fingers. And we would go every couple weeks.

And it closed down. And I guess my dad didn't know because we, like, tried to go one day to watch some fucking movie in 2006. And we pulled up and it was like closed for business. say like a sign in the door. And my dad, I just remember him going like, No! Come on, dude!

What the hell? Because he loved the chicken tenders. They were his fucking favorite, dude. Movie theaters that serve food is the stupidest fucking thing. Just eat food before you go to the movie theater. Yeah. Well, then you get there. If you want to eat a meal in a movie theater, I think you're a psycho.

I don't want anything to do with you. I don't know. I mean, popcorn, maybe, and, like, oh, yeah, popcorn, obviously, I said a meal. This conversation would divide between me and Cameron versus Patrick. Who would have ever thought that? But it's like, oh, okay, here. Differing opinions here. I'm going to, yeah, it's disruptive to the movie, and I don't have a table.

It's just on my, and I don't, and it's fucking, it's loud. It smells up the place with all the food smell, you know, and it's, and, and. That would be funny if it was all like, it was all like Katsu curry and like this sauce, fried rice and shit. Yeah, just like tonkatsu ramen. And it's like so expensive too. Just eat at home or like eat somewhere else first. I don't know. I get it.

I get it. I get it. No, it's not ever nice. It's nice. You like to watch art house horror movies, Cameron. I don't like to watch art house horror movies. You sit there, you eat lint and little things out of your pocket while you watch wax. I'll get popcorn sometimes at the movie theater, but I won't get anything else.

you don't even like going to the movie you like watching movies at home in a dark room I do like watching movies in my cute you like going out to the shed and watching movies in my cube you like going out to the shed and watching yeah I was in I would uh there is no any no movie theater experience can compare to getting really really high and then just sitting in your bedroom and watching a movie and getting too scared in the middle and then falling asleep that's what that's just the ultimate movie experience no no no no no no no that's definitely no I have to be completely alone I have been at You can't interface with the movie. You can't have sex with the movie correctly if there's other people in the theater. You like to have sex with movies? Yeah, you really understand its entire. Yeah. What's your favorite movie to have sex with?

The girl one. Into Mama Tambian, Brokeback Mountain, those kind of movies? No. Yeah, that is what you like. No. You like, it's true. Yeah, you do that, you go and you stick your wiener into the hole of the projector. Into the vagina of the projector.

no that's what you like to do i don't do it with the projector so yeah you do what do you do do with the screen my computer you don't have a computer i have a he has a flashlight he has a fleshlight he has a flashlight under it's like docked to his computer no that's a flashlight so i can see the keyboard but i'm trying to pause the movie you have a reverse fleshlight but it's not a flashlight it's a reverse flashlight it's a navvy from avatar pussy yeah it's a bunch of hair they don't have that they just have hair yeah no you bunch up that's what you You go to locks up the hair and you're like, I have cancer. Can you give me a wig of real human hair?

You're one of those people. And they're like, yeah, sure, here you go. And you bunch it up in your hand and you just jack off with it. And then you're basically the novel. You order an Avatar fleshlight because you watched Avatar and got so turned out. And they just send you a wig. Yeah. They had one.

I remember that. Oh, I'm sure you do remember it. I remember it. Yeah. You remember buying it? How much was it? it was $200 and I had to hide it from my parents Yeah

I didn't buy the avatar fleshlight I know that none of us ever had a fleshlight Did you ever have a fleshlight? No but I knew one of my little brother's friends Was Telling there was like a He had like a party at my parents' house And he was like

Yeah fleshlight party Or no no no Yeah he was just telling us about Pass it to the left He was telling us about how he knows How to make a homemade fleshlight A homemade fleshlight Yeah, that's a vagina

With like a toilet paper tube And a rubber glove Yeah, I got an idea for a homemade fleshlight You put a pie in the toilet You get a kid I'm the only person I ever knew At a flashlight besides my friend's dad Which I think I've definitely told that

before on the podcast where I've I've my friend she like showed it to me in uh like her dad's closet she's like look at this shit and then her dad walked in right then and he's a pastor he's a pastor and he's like what are you guys doing and she was like we're looking for a flashlight and then she she got like chewed out for an hour and then he came and sat next to me on the couch and cried to me and he was like I'm so sorry you had to see that I was like I don't fucking care man Fuck whatever you want

Hey man Hey man As long as you give me a turn I don't give a shit As long as you're happy No the only person besides that That I knew out of fleshlight Was my cousin

Who is now in jail for peeping Tom Did you just spit out water He just spit out jewel smoke You took I was taking a jewel hit While he fucking said that Yeah dude In jail for peeping Tom

He might be out of jail now. I don't know. Obviously, he's going to come peep on you now that you said that. He's Chris. He's peeping on you right now. They should call it peeping whatever the person's name was when they get arrested. His name's Chris, and he sounds so much like Kermit the Frog. Heaping Kevin.

Sounds so much like Kermit the Frog that everybody in high school called him Kermit the Frog. And then he took it on as like a cool white boy rapper moniker and went by Krispy Kermit. Fuck, yes. Crispy Kerm. Yeah, crispy Kerm. Crispy Kerm. I'm imagining just a rapper named Kermit. Who raps about, instead of like shooting people, he raps about spying on girls.

A crispy Kermit is what you call it when you forget to clean your fleshlight. Yeah, dude. Shout out to Chris. He's the fucking man. I think he was diagnosed with autism late in life. Okay. Crispy Kermit is so good. Crispy Kerm, dude.

That's such a good fucking name. Peeping Kermit. He's just looking for his Miss Piggy, dude. Yeah. Anyway, he rocks. I need to, I need to... Ma'am, can I just look through your window for a little bit? Ma'am, leave your window open a night.

Ma'am, seriously, please. Can I think he... I think he was like more... I think he... I think it was a Panny raid, like SpongeBob style. Oh, he did a... Pandy raid? I think he did a panty raid.

I think he, like, got into a girl's house and stole her clothes or something. Oh, that's worse. This is definitely worse, dude. Yeah. Come on, I didn't say he's a good guy. Do you guys have any flush lights of pigs? Yeah, I just want, I just want a fleshlight that has a curly tail on top of the asshole. I'll take one, one pig and one Fuzzy bear, please.

He would come Fawsey. He would fuck Fuzzy's fucking asshole and he'd suck his dick, dude. Kermit would never fuck Fuzzy. Fuzzy. Hey, Frazy, get over here and let me suck your dick. Come on, Fuzzy. Come here, Fuzzy. Hello, Kermie.

But, dude, he, uh... Yeah, he's a man. Kermi, they're modeling my pussy at the Flashlight Factory. They did it, plaster. Cass, it's cold. Would you guys ever have that done? Would you ever have your penis modeled? If, like, we could probably...

I feel like we could sell two of those. You could sell them. You could sell them, not any of us. Everybody would be pretty disappointed in my penis, dude. Yeah. Yeah, just like, it goes, people have like a left hook or a right hook. Mine goes down like Snape's nose. I swear to God, dude.

It's like I've been having, it's like I've been like training with an anvil on my penis. Oh my God. And it slopes down. It's trying to drag you to hell, dude. It is. It really. It's just looking for water. It's evolution, dude.

Yeah. My dad's penis couldn't reach, and my penis just got a little closer to all the bugs on the ground that it wants to eat up on ants. Just suck them up like a vacuum cleaner. Just suck them up like an anteater, man. Yeah. Do ant eaters only eat ants? I don't know. I think that gets boring?

No. I think they love it every time. Yeah. Yeah? Every single time, they're like, nice another ant. Man, I mean, like, think about how excited a dog gets

for, like, just, like, shitty cereal every single day. Or just shit. Yeah, exactly. That's true. Yeah, animals have no taste. Yeah. It's true.

We're way cooler than animals. Animals love to eat the trash. I think I'm going to get a cat. It's true. Like this week. Yeah. What kind? uh based on the ones that my wife is sending me on instagram a very sad traumatized old cat

yeah yeah because she just sends me every dust sends me every fucking day some picture of a cat with cloudy blue eyes and it's like this one's name is bobo bobo got shot out of a cannon in a Taiwanese circus do you want them in your house it's like no dude but is he free okay i guess he'll take him yeah he cares yeah exactly you're gonna You're going to become, you're going to experience the feeling that you get when you own a cat. You're going to... You're going to experience the feeling you get when you own a cat, pal. You're going to become, I was going to say...

Because you know, if you get a cat, you're going to experience having a cat, Taylor. I was going to say cat dad, but I didn't want to sound like a fucking loser. You are. You are a cat dad. I mean, just because you know, the fact that that's what you were going to say, it kind of confirms it. Yeah. It's honestly, even, even lamer that you just wouldn't even say it. Yeah, that's true.

That you wanted to fight your instinct to say cat dad. But instead of fully fighting it, you're just, you let us know that you're fighting it, too. This is worse than what you would say if you were actually going to make fun of me for saying cat dad. So I should have just fucking said it. Absolutely worse. Because now you're analyzing my thoughts. Yeah. When I go psychoanalyze on you, Caleb Freud.

Yeah, when you fucking analyze me. Yeah. I don't like that. You want to fuck my mother. And you're going to. Believe you me. Damn. We have a list today, which is the top ten silliest ideas for movies.

Oh, we're doing that one first? Yeah. All right. I feel like we can one-up these also. That's why I think this one's fun. Yeah, we can kind of plot them out, too. We can use our beautiful minds. We have three beautiful, strange minds that we can combine.

Our savant, our Charlie Kaufman minds. Yeah. Well, I'm not a savant. You two are savants. I definitely am an idiot savant. No. I'm just a genius. I'm not a savant.

Yeah, no, Cameron's too smart to call himself. Caleb, you're a suck-off. Cameron is so smart. I'm so smart, dude. You know a suck-off? Dude, I just called you smart. You call me a suck-off? Yeah.

Because he's sucking you off because of how smart you are. You sucking off your brain, man. What the shit? Hmm. You suck, dude. You suck. No, you do, dude. You're a suck-off.

I'm awesome. You're an idiot suck-off. No. No, I don't suck off idiots. I've never suck-off. anything off, dude. Ah, great, I got to go to the fucking factory and suck off an idiot. You got to suck off an idiot today.

Yeah, we got another idiot in. Hey, Johnson, we got another idiot. We need you to suck off in the factory. Why don't we get any fucking geniuses in here? What does this have to do with what GMC makes? It's just the way it goes. You start at the bottom sucking off idiots in the mail room. And then you get to the top, building a silverado.

Yeah, sucking off idiots in the C-suite. The GMC. Silverado Hey Peterson That's if you make one more mistake we're sending you to the idiot closet And you don't want to know

What happens to you in there But all right We'll tell you You have to suck a bunch of people off It's exactly what you've been doing Number one Silliest idea for a movie The Drawing of Paint

That's a good title for a movie That's like a Yorgos Lantamos Yeah exactly Yeah Where it would be like about Like a very boring lesbian in relationship and nothing would happen. Well, no, it would be about two lesbians

who are sisters who gradually cut off different parts of their bodies every night. Which one is your ghost lanthamos? But it's filmed, the film gradually spins around. He's that guy whose voice you were doing earlier. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Now, he made the lobster and, uh, the favorite and shit. He made the lobster and the mobster. I, I don't know. I've never, I, I really, I've realized I'm not a movie person. Like, I, like, watch movies, but I don't, like, I like the favorite. The thing is, I watch movies

and I don't know the only one I like by him. I watched the whole movie and none of my favorite stuff showed up. There's no guns in any of his movies. Actually, there is in killing a sacred deer, I think. I didn't see that one. Yeah, are they going to kill the deer?

That's true. I think, yeah, I'm bad at, like, I don't really even remember any movies that I watch. Like, the only reason I remember anything from usual suspects is because I watched it last night and I remember thinking, like, I have to remember this movie.

Because every movie, I just have, like, the worst memory. Yeah. Yeah, be too. The only reason I watch a bunch of movies is to, like, quell my, my, like, list and ranking autism is so if I watch movies, they don't have to make spreadsheets all day. That's true. It hits the same part of my brain to just be able to mark, like, have seen this movie, like, check it off on a list.

Well, you do, you do reviews, too. I don't, yeah, that's just to keep track of it, though. Yeah. The drawing of paint I mean, it's safe to save folks Who's not a good movie? Yeah, drawing of paint It's got like

Fucking It's got some like big name actor And then some actor Who was on like a British TV show For a long time And now they're finally like This is their big transition Yeah

Like Benedict Comberbatch They way overshute it I need your help Help opening my car I think he has the worst American accent Yeah Do Doctor Strange the whole time

It just sounds like Give me a cheeseburger, please There's no like I'll take a cheeseburger at McDonald's He's not doing like there's no It's not like where they pick like a state To base their accent off of it It's like he listened to

It sounds like an Indian guy Making fun of how Americans talk Yeah Like doing like a comedian impression It sounds like he listened to Microsoft Sam and then was just like well That's yeah that's American I'm Mr. Strange

Ah And I love football. I'm the doctor who is strange, and you need to help me get the portal open. I need two portals. I'm thinking of doing magic. I'm doing math magic, and I'm going to kill myself. But he's also in a Marvel movie, so he's also just doing like, so that's a thing that just happened. Wow.

Not epic. and open. Wow. He rocks, dude. Number two is already a movie. It's the cobbler with Adam Sandler. Yeah, that's true. Patrick's favorite thing to do on this podcast is to say his riff before reading what

the list item is, so it makes no sense to anyone who's listening. What do you mean? It's what you just do that all the time. You say, this next one is just like and then say something, but don't actually say what it is. Nobody knows what you're talking about. Number two is the shoe shop. Yeah, the shoe shop. shoe shop. That's the cobbler with Adam Sandler. See, that's the order you're supposed to say the

things in. All right. Well, I'm still, I'm growing. I'm learning. I'm going to, every day you're getting worse and worse. Yeah. This is the truth. It is so funny to me that this, like, we're like over 100 episodes in and this is, like, the podcast is just like a very gradual process of just like gradually changing all the stupid things we do into like very slightly less stupid, like ways to talk. Yeah. It's getting better, man. Yeah. Just like, just like, Like, gradually, you know, like, learning not to talk over each other. Yeah. Which we still do so much.

Yeah, but not as much as we used to. That's true. Yeah, those first, like. If you listen to the first 30 episodes. The evil, the dark 31. It's just the dark 31. It's just three audio tracks. And that was before I was here.

Yeah. That was before I was here. That got way worse as soon as I joined. I think after our seeking derangements episode, Pat is either going to get more or less like Jacques from seeking derangements. He's either learning or... He's learning either poorly or very well from that.

Yeah. Yeah, go listen to that, by the way. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to plug it at the end. Listen to seeking derangements in general. They're so funny. The shoe shop is a... I think that'd be a good idea for a movie.

Yeah, it's the cobbler. Well, here's the description of the... Here's the description of the movie by the creator of the list, okay? This is the plot of the shoe shop. A man goes to buy new shoes. and goes on a not so thrilling journey through the city. Once he is there,

he must battle swarms of annoying little children to get to the shop assistant and find the perfect shoe. But wait, something terrible has happened. The man has no money. He quests back to his house, finds the money, and gets back at the shop in time for lunch. The happy ending is where the man walks out of the shop with a nice new pair of shoes.

Okay. Whoa. I thought it was going to be like a shoe version of Be Kind Rewind. Yeah. You know, we need to recreate a Jordan one. to recreate all the different shoes. A magnet came through and took off all the shoes.

No, no, the shoes work anymore. You can't walk in these. Oh, crap, I can't even move. And they rent out pieces of paper with shoes drawn on them to people. Yeah. They rent them out. You should be able to wrench. You probably can rent shoes, huh?

Absolutely. I like that in this plot. But every shoe shop should have that option. The creator of this list assumes that the shoe shop is filled with children. like that's the kind of people who go to a shoe shop is annoying little children that's true i used to love going to a shoe shop when i was a kid trying on some like just the biggest shoes they have getting audios get me a size could you have a size 17 in these and then just walking around that's the best going to burlington co factory and finding the size 22 shoes yeah and then just

walking around with big clown shoes yeah or like the like the hard on the linoleum floor or like the like the ruby red like rock aware loafers one thing i don't like about footlo Locker is like you go there and the the people who work there try to like they're wearing referee uniforms well that's they try to like cool guy you and be think like make you kind of like judge you for your shoe picks and then they're dressed like referees the whole time well they're they're mediating your shoe decision that's true yeah yeah they blow the whistle if you try to buy a shoe they don't like a red card if you buy the wrong shoe yeah and then you have to go to time out And then when you come out, you're actually just playing soccer.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. There's a secret soccer game in the back of a foot locker, and you're invited. See, this is the movie. This is the movie. So this is interesting. A comment on this from Dislike My Comment Says, I'd love to see a sequel, as this is my favorite movie from 2015.

It didn't. Isn't that the Cobbler come out in 2015? I don't know. What is your obsession with this guy, Adam Sandler? No, the Cobbler's from 2014. I just looked it up. Oh, okay. That long ago, dude?

Yeah. Fucking Christ. That's crazy. Yeah. Time just keeps on slipping. Pretty crazy. Into the future. Yeah.

Someone says, Get me some damn Lebron 12s. That's right. That's how the movie would do really well. Is you remember how, like, the Yu-Gi-O movie and the Pokemon movies would come with free trading cards? Oh, the Tug's shot movie would come with free shoes. Or they give you some shoes to wear while you watch the movie. video cards and like 3D glasses and then you have to drop them in a bin on your way out

they're only adidas cobi twos yeah yeah they're get a pair of those everyone's just just walking in circles around the theater just to like break in the shoes the entire time of and then you sit there and that's how yeah i mean it's like a tarrantino thing it's like that's how you have to enjoy the movie this way yeah you have to be wearing some some some cobi twos yeah number three revenge the toys. Okay. I love the...

What are toys taking their revenge for? Cameron's going to read the description. One night a boy is attacked by all his childhood toys. Luckily, he is armed for a zombie apocalypse. Will he make it out of his house alive and destroy all the toys? This movie is rated M.

I mean, this is kind of toy soldiers, or small soldiers. This is every... This is every... This is every single movie ever actually this is every movie yeah it's pretty much all the movies there's a guy there's a guy there's a guy named there's a horror producer named charles band who was just like absolutely for some reason just completely obsessed with toys attacking people and just like almost every movie ever made was about evil toys he made a movie called dolls he made um the puppet master movies he made a movie

called Taurus Trap about like mannequins coming to life. He made a movie called I think Elves maybe. They're just like literally there's like at least 10. Did he make that Robin Williams movie? Yeah, Flubber, yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know which one you're talking about. One hour photo.

But it's just so funny to just be like a guy who's like, yeah, I'm just going to make movies about toys. I think that's my thing and just like make the same very old. There was a movie called toys, I think. What's his name, Robert Rodriguez? His name is Robert Rodriguez. Robin Robert Rodriguez. Okay.

Roger Regisit Roger Regis Oh no, it was directed by Barry Levinson Different guy You freaking idiot It's a cool name Thomas Edison Thomas Edison

Yeah I prefer Nikola Tesla car Yep Yeah Number four A blank screen A blank screen A blank screen A blank screen

What it's like waiting for the movie to start Whoa Someone says The tickets cost two million bucks no refund. Oh my God. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it's a blank screen movie.

The tickets cost $2 million. All the chairs are toilets with poop in them. That Strange Kid, 42 comments, still a better love story than Twilight. Woo! Yes. That Strange Kid, 42, is such a good username. I know. That's like the perfect use.

He's 25 years old. Oh, here? Oh, shit. Positron Wild Talk. That's the name we haven't heard in a while In the words of Andy Parsons A man once saw the story of a depressed loser Having a Wank, then he knew what it was called

A Blank Screen Whoa, it's called Black Mirror It was called Patrick the movie No Yeah Yeah, you like to have a wank I'm having a wank right now And I'm Dr. Strange

I'm Dr. Strange and I'm having a bloody wank They have a wank now They have a wank now Are you having a wank right now? Are you having a wank right? Whank. British Bloody tosser.

I'm going to put my foot down a nonce's neck. I'm eating a delicious plate of sheaves and flex. Is that Toad in the hole? I love Toad in the hole. I'm making a delicious pot of

Queen's Pussy. A queen's pussy, isn't it? I'm Mr. Milk. Duke Nucumis Harvey Milk. I'm Harvey Milk. I'm Harvey Milk. Ow. Number five.

The sad life of a pencil. Whoa. No. No. Chinks. The life story of a pencil from the first time it's being used to the point where it's too small for any use or gets accidentally dropped in a wood chipper. It's kind of a human life. That would be like a short 3D movie.

That would be like somebody's like 3D project, like their student film. Yeah, yeah. We all start out as a big long pencil and then we just die in a racer. Somebody would make that, yeah, would make that in like Blender and then it gets bought for like $7 billion by Pixar and then they develop it for 10 years and then. say we don't, pencils don't exist anymore, so we can't make this. Yeah, and Tom Hanks gets me-toed in the middle of, like, the voice recording. So they're like, yeah, sorry, we just had to scrap it. Sorry.

Thanks to a certain user, we now have a script for this movie, is a comment. Would someone make it? I guess so. Oh, so this is, hold on, this is the, this is pretty good, honestly. This is like a little excerpt from the script. The YBT Doctor says. he was just like the others number two they called him hey dude the humans are just using you you have no sentimental value why couldn't his parents have been lead pencils he was nearing the

end of his life and was too short to stick himself in a pencil sharpener oh how he longed to stick it in and keep it there forever and better yet she swallowed he shavings is that sexual is he trying to have sex this movie sounds like it's rated M uh-huh that's a rated M movie for sure more pencils please number six the journey of an old lady you gotta stop saying that jinks

no you're jinks you're having a patrick moment okay here's now this kind of is a paradigm shift right here this comment from pet sounds the funny thing about this list besides awful movies every single one of these ideas would make a fabulous Monty Python sketch I love Monty Python Oh, my father was in Monty Python

My name is Duke Cleese Do you think all the Monty Python guys Would fuck girls together And they would keep switching out and being like And now for something completely different Yeah, I guess This fucking Eric Idol comes out Naked with a wig on

Well, my penis is out What? Oh, what, now? Oh, what? My penis is out. It's stiff as a wood plank. It's dead as a rock. Uh, number seven, sparkly blue unicorns on a quest of planet Hufflepuff.

Yeah, okay. Sounds fucking awesome. Yeah, that's Caleb's favorite movie. Yeah, it sounds cool. There's some IP problems there, but I think... Yeah. Hufflepuff, we'd have to change to Huff and a Puff. Then the, yeah, it's a stup dog project.

It's a stoner movie. Like, kind of a Mac and Devin go to high school. Mac and Devin go to space. Mac and Devin go to Planet Huff and Puff and Puff. Uh-huh. Oh my God. Mac and Devin go to the Planet Puff Puff Puff Pass. Yeah.

It says the atmosphere is almost completely THC. That's the best part of Mac and Devon is like the, is Wiz Khalifa doing fake science? Yeah. Hey, Caleb, you should, you should read. this comment. No, keep going, sorry. No, keep talking. Just Mac, like, have you guys seen Mac and Devon

go to high school? I have not. I've seen the end of it. The, the whole thing is, like, apparently weed is, like, an endless, like, renewable energy source at the end. And Wiz Khalifa is like, we needed a...

I created a renewable energy source that needed a catalyst, and the catalyst, we knew it had some three letters in it. And it turns out they were THC. so fucking it's awesome I watched Wiz Khalifa on a

on a call of duty war zone stream the other day and he was with this guy ex QC who's like this this like Swedish guy and whiz just hated this dude so much they were they were

they were supposed to be like raising money for some charity but he was like getting really drunk and so the guy asked him he was like he was like yo whiz how much money do you want to raise for the stream

and Wiz was like Man honestly I don't care if we raise a single dollar And then XQC They started talking about Like XQC was like So you have kids whiz What is that like to have kids

And he's like do you have kids And XQC was like I don't have kids yet I'm afraid that if they come out They would be little monsters And then there was like a long pause And then Wiz was just like Are you a monster

Is the great greatest fucking shit I've ever seen. I watched it for like an hour and a half. That's great. Yeah, that rules. You should, Caleb, you're going to really like this comment from Sir Skeletor the Third. You should read this one.

Do you think so? Yeah. Let's see. A sparkly blue Nazi unicorn named Hans Reich and his friends Friedrich Panzermouth and Joe go into space and battle all kinds of creatures such as humans, Jewish aliens, and yes, of course, Soviet alien dragons breathing blood in the sky.

order to save planet huffelpaw from evil joseph stalin dragon rated r for glore blood extreme violence extreme language and anti-Semite views can you imagine like a movie is rated r you see like the newest will feral movie comes out it's rated r but just for anti-semit views yeah i'm waiting on the red band trailer for that one yeah it's like you know how they have like the uh like the south park bigger longer and uncut and it does that like cut it's like bigger longer, uncut Yeah And it's like

It's just like Unicorns, dragons Antisemitism Yeah Or like a 2006 comedy Like American Pie But then the DVD comes out And they have the anti-Semitic version

Unrated Antisemitic Yeah Over 40 minutes of unused footage I heard they're giving every single movie and Ike cut a David Ike, David Ike's cut he's re-editing every movie.

Number eight, War of Glue. That's pretty good. I really like the comment on this one from Blue Topaz Ice Vanilla that says it sounds like a Hunger Games rip-off. It does. Yeah, glue games. War of glue. Sounds like

like an animal rights documentary about like horses. Yeah. Yeah. War of glue. War of glue. A battle starts in a future time and people only have glue products to defend themselves. Who will win? You know, people thought, this guy thought the future was going to be War of Glue, but nowadays it's looking more like War of Gluten, the way these hipsters are coming at the world. Oh my God, yes. It is like that. Keep going. You know, why didn't the hipster eat his muffin? Because he ate it before the gluten was cool. Oh, my God, dude. They're going to put that in the movie.

I heard they are. I heard they're putting that line in the script right now. We should rail against hipsters more. Yeah. Yeah. Freaking podcast about List. Hey, nice skinny jeans. You gay bitch.

What's that? Yes. The podcast about the list to get into the indie rock show. Yeah, the list to get into your vinyl coffee shop, you fucking nerd. Hey, man, those skinny jeans have some small pockets. What do you keep in there? How cool you are? Yeah, what do you keep in there, a soy latte?

Yeah. Soil latte. What do you keep in there, the list of your arts degree? My dad used to, yeah. Hey, man, what are you, Obama? Yeah, what are you Obama? America. Are you Obama's friend or something?

Are you friends with Obama? Hey, what's up, Michelle Obama? What's up, Michelle Obama, nice skinny jeans. I see your penis in them. Michelle Obama My dad When I was growing up My younger brother

Would go to like Starbucks and get like Any like frozen drink there And my dad would just always own him When he would bring it back He'd be like hey nice frapa girl a Chino Damn And he's like dad

Can you watch it dude? Yeah Woo Cool it Dave Attell Yeah What's that about Coming after your own kid like that He can't even defend himself dude

Dude he's a kid He's not he's not David Dude, he's not the joke writer you are. Frapp a girl Latino. Oh my God, dude. Just shut down Starbucks. Have you seen the, uh, what's that, what's that man? You're wearing a plaid shirt.

I hope you have a plaid day. Yeah. Oh, what's that? You wear a plaid shirt because you can't get laid? Shirt. Church? Mr. Hipster. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Hipster.

Did I, do I offend you? Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, you wear, hey, hipster guy, you wearing D. DC shoes? Yeah, what's that? Because you love the clowns in Congress. Yeah. Yeah. I see you wearing a flannel. I wish I could change the damn channel. Have you ever seen the- Oh, you're covered in tattoos? I'm going to throw a rock at you. This is my anti-hypster rap I'm working on. Have you seen the Dennis Miller or Dennis Leary coffee bit?

no yeah where he's just like what happened to coffee what happened to a cup of coffee now that you put milk and sugar in it what are you Chinese there's a the punchline to that joke is www what the fuck dot com plugging his good friend mark marron dude yeah yeah hey hipster have you seen dennis leary's coffee bit where he takes a sip of coffee and says pow i just ship my pants

Hey, hipster, I see you've grown a giant beard. To me, that seems very weird. Oh, my God, the anti-hipster rapper? Yeah. Damn. Yes. Keep going anti-hypster rapper. What about bacon?

Oh, so you like bacon? You must be faking. Let's go. Let's fucking go, dude. Push a hipster down the stairs. Oh, you're wearing. Now he's a tumbler. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. You're wearing, so you're wearing those hipster-styled glasses. I wish you all would fall onto your asses. Yeah. You got, you're on Facebook. I got my face in a book. Yeah. And what's that?

What's that? A stylish hat? You are crap. That's right. That's right. If I get edited, I would say stylish cap, you are crap. No, I mean, that, well, they don't wear caps. is the thing.

You'd sat on your neck in an infinity scarf. I'm going to do an infinity barf. Yeah. Nice skinny jeans. I'm going to do a... They don't seem very clean. I'm going to do a thingy thing. To hurt you.

I'm going to put my dinghling on you. Hibster. That's right. Hot topic. How about... How about you're not? you're not in the office because you don't have a job you like music that's underground i will make i'll play funeral music for you because you'll be and you're going underground

on the coffin you're at n yu well i'm in the bayou because i'm a real i'm a working man modest mouse you like modest mouse how about i how would i take off my wife's blouse Yeah, you like passion pit? Well, you can smell my ass and shit. Mumford and sons, when you see me, you better mumford and fucking run. You better run from my gun. You better, I'm going to put my, my bum in your tongue. I'm going to point my gun at your son.

Grizzly bear, I'm going to pull you up by your underwear. Oh, my God. Oh, you listen to death cap for cutie? I'm going to, how about I get my, my death? I'm going to shoot some death gas from my booty. Oh, so you're always listening to Vampire Weekend. I'm going to smoke some dank fire weeds, man. That's right.

That's pretty good, right? Right? Like, you could just put that in a song. You don't even have to change that at all. You listen to Pomplam-a-Muse. I'm taking a dumpy poop. TV on the radio? You're listening to fun, and I'm shooting you with my gun.

Mm-hmm. That's right That's right Ariel Pink Yeah You're a real stink These are just getting Better and better

Yeah Uh huh A guy falls over It was the next movie That's the next movie Which sounds like a hipster band Yeah A guy falls over

How about How about I I'm gonna hit you With the Mars Rover I got some fries, come over Yeah, I would love it They should make a hipster movie Yeah, yeah

The people who made the Lego movie Are gonna make the hipster movie Yes No, the people who made scary movie Yes It's set in Silver Lake in a coffee shop That's also a vinyl record store And

And it's got Aubrey Plaza and Michael Sarah and Dwight Shrewd is there Yeah, Dwight Shrewd is there And he's saying false Yeah He's saying false He's like, can I

Hey, yeah Somebody's the, he's the barista And somebody says, yeah Can I get a black coffee And he says false Yeah We only have girl coffee That's just milk

Yeah And we put a single coffee bean in it Like a toy in a cereal box And you have to find it Dennis And then Dennis He gets so mad And you know who Dennis is

Yeah and Dennis says you're a real asshole you're an asshole and then Louis C.K. comes up and he's like, I stole that joke or you stole that joke for me. He stole that joke for me. You actually stole that asshole joke for me. And he says, you're, how about a cup of black coffee? Yeah.

And that's the end of the movie. And that's the end of the movie. Yeah. Moka frapa what the fucking chin. Moka's shit in your fucking pants, dude. Moka cum in your butt. A chino? Yeah.

How about he's wearing chinos, then they're skinny. Yeah, oh, my God. Yeah, I want a coffee that's mini, a small coffee, and you're wearing the skins that are skinny. Ginny jeans and skinny. It's true, man. Hitches is a complete shit. You have a mustache tattooed on your finger?

I'm going to make you smell my finger. I have a rust rat. that I got from working in the yard you bitch mustache on your finger yeah I'm gonna go home and watch the ringer oh you're at oh you're at you're at Starbucks I'm in the car drunk Number 10 is rain. There's tons of rain movies on YouTube. Yeah. Yeah, you just search rain movie.

They already made a movie about a man made out of rain. So, Max Rain. Yeah. That was the movie. That was the movie. It was Max Rain. I was thinking of Rain and Gain. Yeah.

That's the one where it's Rain Man and Dwayne the Rock Johnson. They made Rain go too. They should make a... Dude, imagine fucking... Imagine pain and gain, but it's Dustin off as Rain Man instead of Mark Wahlberg. Instead of Milk Wahlberg. Milk Wahlberg.

That's a different guy. That's what he puts in the freaking... That's what Dennis Lee puts in his coffee. Mark Wahlberg is one of the normal... He's not a hipster. No, Dennis Miller puts Milk Wahlberg in his coffee, or Dennis Leary. Dennis Miller, Dennis Milker. Wow.

Milk walk, milk, milk, the milk man, Dennis. Let's see Dennis is milkers. Yeah, the milkman walks through your burg and he delivers milk. I want to see, I want to see Dennis Milker. Man, but. Milk Walkman. Milk Walkman? Yeah.

Who's Milk Walkman? He's the guy who walks around. Walks milk here. He's the milkman? Hey, you're kind of like Milk Walkman. You know, you remind me of this actor. I don't remember his name. He used to be a rapidoo.

He put the herd on a Vietnamese man in South Boston once. I think his name is Milk Warkman. He was in the Milky Bunch. Yeah, he was milky milk in the milky bunch. Yeah, now they'd be soy milky, soy milk and the soy milky bunch. Yeah. And the soy-milky brunch. Yeah, nowadays his freaking name is Oat Walkman, the way things are going.

That's right. Almond Walkman. This is so far away from Mark Womber. Yeah, Mark Womber. We're like Oates Almond nowadays. Yeah. Just complaining to another guy on the train, just saying that. He just moves to another car.

Let's check out the contenders. The 10-hour film where you watch someone's sleep extended edition. That's a thing. Isn't that a paranormal activity? Yeah. Didn't he do movies where his boyfriend slept? And he... You know, he never had sex or something?

Really? Yeah. Well, I don't want that. Nowadays, it seems like we more have candy warheads than Andy Warhol. God willing. Yeah, nowadays, Andy Warhol would have a... a painting of a coffee.

He would have a painting of a mochagina. He would have a painting of a crap up. Exactly. It would be Amy's soup. It would be Amy's organic black bean soup. It wouldn't be Campbell's. It would be Mrs. Campbell's. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Because Campbell's was too offensive and they had to change the mascot. Yeah. To Mrs. Campbell's. Yeah. They'd be funny if they came out. They're changing it to a man's hell.

That's right. Because that's what the modern world is. If the Redskins just change their name to the Mrs. Redskins. They're like, yeah, we fix it. It's a girl now. Yeah. That wasn't what you guys were complaining about? Yeah, the Pocahontas.

The beautiful Pocahontas's. The Elizabeth Warrens. Let's go! Let's go! Number 12, sexy spoons. We've got to get Seth Rogen on this one. Yeah. A bunch of animated spoons.

Steff. Ha, ha, ha. Shut up, dude. The spoons are actually having sex. Sexy spoons. And then we can get, like, a lot of, uh... Someone says this list seems to get weirder as I scroll down. Damn, I'm on that weird part of the top tens again.

Yeah, number 12. Yeah, I'm on that weird part of the top tens again. Rated R for God knows why. I'm going home to play Xbox. If the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, The ticket taker at the movie theater can't tell me why a movie's rated are, I go home. Yeah.

You can't tell me why this movie is rated R? No, I'm going home. Yeah, I'm going back to bed. I'm going to go play Xbox. Number 21 is the Life of Gloves trilogy. Trilogy? Number 13 is time to eat a shoe. Tim is so bored, he decides to eat a shoe.

That's pretty good. honestly it's not bad dude that's like a that's like a tusk style movie number 24 is cayew the movie caiu rages war on his friends first caiu buys illegal guns and goes to a nightclub he gets super loaded on crackpot cocaine painkillers glue and every other drug his mom finds out and he murders his mom super bloody scene he then gets in his dad's Lamborghini playing super explicit music he gets out of his car and flirts with dora the explorer and kills her in the end everyone dies in caius hometown in theater's december 19th 20th rolling stone masterpiece SpongeBob Movie 3

Someone says This is already coming out It's called What a Wonderful Sponge Oh here's a really good one Number 31 Who farted a butt's story That'd be pretty funny actually A But's life is sad

Especially if it's constantly being spanked That's so true So true I'm gonna I can't wait to see you guys again So I can spank you both Hey you're not gonna spank I will I'm gonna devise a new opportunity

where I can spank you. And I'm going to make money from it. Number 45 is the toilet heroes. That's a good one. That's pretty good. That's you guys. Okay, now we get to number 49, and it's all, I think, it looks like it just all turns into K-pop stuff.

Yeah. How about number 54, the broken iPod? Oh, God. The secret life of Justin Bieber? Interesting. What would that be? Number 63, that one guy that can't stop talking. Yeah, that's called Patrick.

Yep. Now number 61 is called The Stalker And you know I might be mistaken But I think somebody already made a movie like this The Stalker? Yeah He just stares at the screen for three hours

I don't think anybody's made that Number 68 Jake Short Oh that's the kid for Ant Farm I was talking about the movie Stalker Phones the musical Yeah that's That's pretty much every time I'm walking down the street now

Here are some of the comments The Musical Here are some of the songs It's a hard enough gigabyte The app will download tomorrow, somewhere over the firewall and more. Wow.

Number 73 of the erotic adventures of the lollipop ladies. I want to write phones the musical. I'm going to send... I'm going to screenshot phones the musical on send it to Nolan, because I feel like... Smells like teen Samsung Galaxy S7. That's pretty good.

Yeah. You know, I feel like that's pretty good. Yeah. Where in the world are my apps? Right? You know? Yeah. No, you got it. I mean, you got the format down.

Instead of 311, it's 411. Right? 911. Or 911. Or. If it's a scary part of the musical. That's true. Did you read number 38?

I don't know. It was 38. Random people swearing in 3D. Basically my school. L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O-O-O-O-O-O. Number 74 is doing it. Oh, come on, dude They had to go make it nasty at the end

They had to go make it disgusting, come on Where happened to good old family values Black cup of coffee, no hipsters in sight Yeah I miss America That's so true Whip it up Is number 75

Whip it up Jake Short the musical Onions I made a song for it Here it goes. Some kid just started typing, just stuff. Yeah. Just started typing just like random word association.

Twilight 6. Donuts falling on a screen. Bird Demick and the Rim crossover. Oh my God, dude. Mr. Willie Wonka and the sexual innuendo factory. Interesting. Willie Wonka's sexual factory? The comment is Willie Wonka is probably a pedophile anyways because if your first name is Willie.

Oh my God. Wow, I didn't... Yeah, you cannot be around kids with a name like Willie. No, they're going to get the wrong idea. Yeah. They're going to ask people, what is his name mean? You got to be Bill Wonka if you're going to open up your store to kids. Yeah, William Wonka.

I think you're right, dude. No, even William's bad because that's got Willie in it. You've got to be Bill. True. Or use your middle name. Your stinky middle name. Yeah, the stinky middle. Stinky middle.

All right. My boys. It's been a good one. Been a fun one. Subscribe to the Patreon since a... Subscribe to the Patreon. Subscribe to the Patreon. Mine's kind of just H.W. Bush.

What? Mine's just H.W. Bush. You're what? My Duke Nukem. Oh. Is George H.W. Busham. And listen to seeking derangements. We just did it.

Oh, yeah. We were just on Secret derangements. Oh, yeah. Check that out. We're going to have some... Secret derangements. Secret derangements. Secret deranged men.

Secret deranged men, yeah. Yeah. They are. That's what they should have titled our episode. That's a really good idea. I'll tell them to redo it. Yeah, let's just redo it. Let's re-record the whole episode.

Yeah, we can do it. Yeah. All right. Bye, everyone. All right, bye, bye, bye.