Podcast About List - Ep. 110 - Big Bruddah

Episode Date: August 5, 2020

Sorry about the late episode Caleb was sad yesterday and cried the whole day so we couldnt record Subbcribse to www.patreon.com/podcastaboutlist

You're listening to Israel's number one podcast. That counts for the ball list. You're really crap monster. I look smooth. Yeah, we... Yeah, Caleb looks very smooth today. For about, for about, like, five or ten minutes just now, we just thought that Caleb had accidentally turned on the smoothing,

the face smoothing option on Zoom, but then we just found out he didn't, and his face just looks like that now. I'm just naturally smooth, man. Cherokee. I just have naturally smooth skin, dude. I'm blessed by the Cherokee gods. Yeah. Yeah.

Big Panther. More like a freaking raw chicken, if you ask me. Yeah, you look like a raw chicken. You'd be called a raw chicken like my cat. Nobody would call me. You'd be called Chief Mayo. No. No, when I return, Chief Mayo is.

Nobody would call me, but thank you for assuming I would be the chief, by the way. But no, I would not be the chief. I would be the hunter. And I would not be the hunter male. I would be Hunter Mayo I would not be Hunter Mayo

Hunter Mayo sounds like the kid at your high school that got in trouble for like having stuff on his phone I would be brave beef man you're

you're a Indian name your Native American name would be Burning Cross no be crouching tiger hidden dragon dude I would be a kung fu

Indian it would be sick everybody would fear me All the other tribes. Yeah, dude, if I could go back in time, I'm not, not I would be, I am. If I had a time machine, I would go back in time and I would teach the Native Americans Kung Fu so they could get rid of the hellgrams.

I think I'm like a whole 5% Indian, dude. Yeah. I think I have an Indian, not Native Americans, so I don't know which one you're talking about. I think you know. I think you know that. No. I don't know. You think I'm, you think I'm, you think I'm, um, is that Southwest Asian?

Southeast? Southeast Asian? You think I'm Southeast Asian? No, Southeast Asian is Japan. No, it's not. Yeah. Think about the directions, Pat. Depends on where you're looking.

Depends on, so if you're looking, if you are looking at the globe upside down, then yeah, you might be right, actually. You might be, you could be right there. I guess that is Southeast Asian. No, that would be Northeast Asian. Southeast Asian would be Europe. Yeah. Whoa.

Whoa. That's deep. If you change the perspective of the globe You might change your perspective Yeah, you might change your perspective Think about this for a second If you spin the globe 360 degrees You end up in the same spot

Think about it, if you flatten out the globe We're all Asian Yeah Every single person If you take a big Sharpie and you write the word Asia across the entire surface of the globe Then everybody becomes Asian, dude We just solved every problem that there is

Yeah That's the root of the world the problems is not enough people are Asian. If everybody became Asian, we're getting there, dude. We'll get there. It's just slowly and surely. It's like that we're all one race, the human race, but it's like we're all one race, Asian.

We're all one race. We're all Chinese when you think about it. If you think really closely and you close your eyes, if you write China on the globe, then we're all Chinese. Yeah. Damn. It's not Earth anymore. It's China.

Whoa. The globe, the globe more often than that would say made in China so that whoa so if you just scribble out that made in dude yeah yeah I think we just discovered the Illuminati truth of the world

I know yeah the whole world is China the whole world is Chinese it's that astronaut meme but it's just the it's China let's do some other memes real quick yeah let's do some other memes good guy Greg

that lets you have $100 what about like a combination what about a combination what about a combination one that they used to do like the socially awkward penguin socially awkward penguin what about troll face troll face uh smile the bloodhound gang i just remember the fucking bloodhound gang did a whole song that's just socially awkward penguin memes that's sick dude that's really awesome yeah yeah the whole song is just them reading off

socially awkward penguin news i'm in the bloodhound gang yeah i wish uh you're in the you're in the butt pound gang That's right. Because your butt weighs a pound. Yeah, my butt weighs one pound. I got a tiny little butt, dude. Dude, Pat has a little butt, man. That's on record now.

But it is true. Dude, you will never get hired. Oh, my God. I'm so fucking tired. I stayed up to like five. New X and L hired Patrick Doran reportedly as a little butt. Then I'm fired for it. Yeah.

I stayed up until like five. I modeled the D3 in Skater XL. You are modeling for a 5-year-old. Yeah. No. You are modeling for D3. Diablo 3. You were creating your own Diablo 3 character.

Yeah, you were being the devil. I made the D3 and Skater XL last night. That's what I did. No, you didn't do. No, you didn't. You wish you did. You were dreaming. I fucking did it.

Is this game just your life now, dude? You just pretend to skateboard? No, I go skateboard sometimes. When I just said you dreamed, I just remembered my dream from last night. I was watching a bunch of the Simpsons before I went to bed. And then I went to bed and I had a dream that the Simpsons were running away from a terrorist attack. That they were walking around. It was like one of those dreams where I'm not in it and I'm just like looking at people, you know?

I'm kind of just like watching. And it was like the Simpsons walking around a city and then they saw a building blow up and had to run away. fuck dude that's that's heavy yeah dude i that's like a creepy pasta yeah i uh i i had a dream interrupted i told you guys this yesterday morning i woke up by so i woke up and i was acting i woke up like a millisecond before i fell off of my bed and i woke up felt myself falling and i just went oh no and i fell and i hit my head on my metal bedside table oh yeah put like I big a hole in the back of my fucking head and then Jana woke up

and went oh my god and I was on the ground with morning wood I had a giant boner and blood coming out of the back of my head and then it almost happened again like 30 minutes later I like went back to sleep and then woke up and I was falling off

the bed again why do you keep falling off the bed dude I know what are you dreaming about that's making you all I dreamt that I had a kid I dreamt that I had a newborn child and I fell off the bed and I woke up and I had metal in my head.

There's still a piece of my head is stuck to the metal on my bed and I, it's like fused to it like I can't even get it off my fingernail. Oh my God. It's really bad too. That's awesome. It's on your fingernail now?

No. I couldn't, I tried to scrape off. There's like a piece of my flesh with like two pieces of hair in it. And I want to put it back on my head I need that hair If it's got hair in it That's not your flesh

That's someone else's No Caleb you could take that You could take that hair And you can move it to like a different Yeah that's a graph right there If you fall out of your bed Every morning Forever now

Eventually you'll have enough A hair transplant Uh huh You could do a whole follicular tramp Transplant Farricular tramp stamp Fuck off I went to bed at five

I went to bed at five I was making a shoe We knew we were recording at noon, dude. What are you doing? I was making a shoe in a video game. Yeah, high heel. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you were making a high heel and patch and truss up.

Not going to stomp my balls, dude. I will. I'm not into that, dude. I'm not one of those comedians. Woo! That's good. That's enough of that. Yes, we're not going to talk about that anymore.

That's enough of that. That's the quota on that one. I've been in a good mood all day though Yeah I drink a whole I drink a whole big can of monster before this Like the big ones Dude I drank a bang

The bang cola yesterday Oh yeah It's the worst thing I've ever had in my fucking life Oh okay Yeah It tastes like a That's like a fallout Fallout consumable item

Dude is horrible And also like I Like the caffeine is like Nerfed in the bang cola because of the taste. Like, my brain is too focused on, like, clearing my taste buds out to even get, like, a rush from...

With another bang? Yeah, exactly. Have you ever double banged? Have you ever bang banged? No, dude. I don't straight-up kill you. I do not have the fucking mental capacity to do that. You've never bang, bang, bang, skit, skied?

No. Dude, I've double banged. One time in L.A. Will, Cameron, and I, on a stream, like, the other night, we looked up, and we found a caffeine calculator to see, how many, like, energy drinks he can drink in one day. Like, what's the safe limit? Yeah, and what will kill you?

How many energy drinks will kill you? Yeah, the safe limits will kill you? Yeah, you can find out the lethal dose of every energy drink. I guess there's a lethal dose of caffeine. That makes sense. Yeah. What is it? For me, it's two.

You have to enter in your weight. It's two? Two energy drinks. Two bangs. Two bangs. They won't kill you, but it will be unsafe if you go past that. Yeah. You will get, like, sick.

I've definitely had un-suitings. safe levels of caffeine before yeah oh me too i i've had like full like like i don't know what the fuck i'm doing right now like things happen the other every time i stop like drinking for a little 50 cans of bang is a lethal dose 15 cans of bang too is a lethal yeah unless you're like rob dear dick and then that's just breakfast yeah wake up you smash 50 bangs yeah we also did the calculations and we found out that if you were just eating Buyang cubes, you would die, your

stomach would rupture before you died from sodium poisoning. Just so you... Really? Yeah. So it's safe? It's safe, yeah. Okay, as many as you want. Essentially, it's safe. I didn't know that there was sodium poisoning. I mean, you can get poisoned by pretty much anything. You can get poisoned by vitamins. You can, there

is water poisoning. That's called drowning. Yeah. True. Yeah. Overdose on water, dude. So the amount of, uh, it's, My maximum of Monster Ultra Fiesta is four cans per day. So I could drink like two today. To stay under the safe limit. But it takes a hundred, so it's a hundred cans of monster.

Yeah. The legal limit? Yeah, on energy drinks. The legal limit. There has to be a point where it's like you can't drive. Yeah, you have 40 bangs. Which is like tech, it's not enough to kill you, but you're going to be fucked up, dude. Like, you're going crazy.

You're going to be, you're going to be Jim Carrey the mask. If you drink that many bangs, you can just clip through the other cars. You can just slide through the street like a ghost. That's true. You will no clip through the other cars. Yeah, that's like, that's why they don't want you. That's why they don't want you to have 50 bangs, dude. They're hiding the truth.

They're hiding the truth that you can drive through all the other cars. You drink 40 bangs, and it's just like, it's like God dragged your Photoshop layer just up one notch. And you can just go above everything else. Everybody else. You've moved. to the front. Yeah, you don't bump into things anymore. Yeah, I think the most I've ever had was Tupang, so I think that's probably the most

caffeine I ever had. I remember just like, I had like hot sweat, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I had green, hot, carbonated sweat dripping off of me. I don't think I've ever drank more than one energy drink, but I've drank a lot of cups of coffee in a day before. I've had like maybe six cups of coffee in a day.

Yeah, I don't, I'm not a coffee person. That's why I drink Monster. I fucking hate coffee. It's too bitter for me. I mean, that makes sense. Yeah, there's a clear divide here if you look at me and Cameron and Patrick who drinks coffee who drinks Monster Energy. I drink the zero sugar one.

That's even worse, dude. Is it? Yeah, man. When I, dude, I, when I had, uh, when I had, uh, because I feel like it does make sense. I used to drink like two Coke zeros every day and I like didn't dream for six months. Well, I don't mind not dreaming. I mean, the thing about the sugar-free monsters, Pat, is that instead of putting in sugar, they put in, like, they just put in chemicals that will, like, mutate your taste buds enough

to think it's sweet. Like, they put in cotton candy. Yeah, they put in, like, they put in just viruses and bacteria to make you, to make your brain think you're drinking something sweet. They kind of just put in whatever's around. Yeah. Yeah. That does make sense.

If I was told that, that they just. put in whatever's around, I'd be like, it's just like crushed up glass and shit. It's just whatever the factory worker sees first when they first get the can. Yeah, man, it's all just, it's just metal and glass. I feel like, dude, I feel like a fucking, like, Mormon when I talk about energy drink consumption. It's just like, because like they don't drink caffeine, dude. Oh, they don't drink caffeine? No.

Oh. You know that? I thought that they drank fucking. I thought they drank alcohol and caffeine and said swears. No, I didn't believe in God. I thought they drank. I thought they drank, like, soda instead of beer. They drink maybe a Sprite, maybe a, you know.

Sprite has caffeine free. No, it doesn't have caffeine. Are you stupid? Sprite has caffeine. Yeah, they wouldn't be included in a happy meal if it had caffeine, buddy. There's enough caffeine in a McDonald's hamburger. They don't need a Sprite as well, dude. That's true.

They have any caffeinated food yet. Yeah, dude. Yeah, they make... Caffeine pills. Pills are food. That's true. What about, like, yogurt? Yeah, what about yogurt?

Caffeine yogurt. Oh, they make... Bagne makes a caffeinated ice cream. Oh, that's horrifying. I know. I feel like they have... That is horrible. They have, like, energy bars, right?

That's a thing? Yeah. No, you're thinking of, like, a cliff bar. Yeah, but... That's just peanut butter. It's just peanut butter and oatmeal, dude. Let's see. I'm just going to search caffeinated food.

See if we can order it. Yeah. Caffinated food. Oh, they have like caffeine gum. Chocolate covered coffee beans. Coffee, energy drinks. And drinks are not food. Eating a coffee bean is not.

Oh, yeah, chocolate has caffeine. That's true. All right. I forgot about that. Food's with caffeine from sleep.org. This is our list from today for today. Let's see here. Breakfast cereals.

What the hell? Cereals such as Quaker Cocoa Blast and other chocolate-flavored AM Munchies can pack up to 11 milligrams of caffeine. Pudding has caffeine? Pudding has caffeine? Someone just hacked my Bluetooth speaker

and started playing music through it. I did that. No, you did. That was me. No, neither of you did it. Your phones wouldn't reach. This is just a list of every food with chocolate in it. Not interesting.

Chocolate pasta. from elf caffeinated energy bar yeah you can buy caffeinated energy bars yeah you can I'm banned I'm not allowed dude you're not allowed because of how many

you ate because yeah I ate too many I want a lifetime supply yeah and they said I'm not allowed to have anymore I wish I had something like that I wish you had nothing I've been back on the Yerba Mata yeah yeah what I like about it

is that it doesn't taste good and it's expensive. Yeah, but... My grandpa, my grandpa John gave me a bunch of it when I was, uh, he gave me a brick of it wrapped in like... A brick of Yerba Mata? Oh, like the dry tea? Yeah. And he was like, well, you might need a tea baller to drink that. And then he just hand, he, to drink this and he hands me like a fucking, a brick of Yerba Mata. He's literally using you to traffic drugs.

I thought it was. Absolutely. I thought it was, but didn't smell like it. Yeah, that's why. No, he's been like completely, he stopped smoking weed and stopped drinking when he was 40. Oh, good for Grandpa John. Yeah.

Is this the one who he's just a psycho? He's the one who is a hermit and travels around New England and meeting people in bathrooms? He doesn't meet people in bathrooms. He meets him at train stations. Okay. Yeah, come on, man. He doesn't meet him in the bathroom.

That's fine. He doesn't meet him in the bathroom. He doesn't meet him in the bathroom. Correct me there. That's fine. Yeah. He meets people. people like on the he uh dude he might be he might be like i think i told you guys about this

maybe i don't know he might be uh an intelligence asset yeah by my my family's connection to is real yeah it's gonna come out one day yeah sooner or later um did i ever tell you about the time so there was like a he was waiting for the bus because he used to take like the boss and Express to like go down to just fucking walk around Boston. God, I love Boston Express. Yeah, dude, it rocks. It rocks. It absolutely

rocks. But, uh, fucking, so he like was walking around Boston or whatever, came back, went to the bus station. And, speaking to your microphone. There was a dude. I was talking into it. You were, no, yeah, you were facing, you turned

your head around 180 degrees like the exorcist. I saw something outside. Anyway, he... Outside where? There's no window over there. There's a window over there! Show us the window. I can't.

What just happened to your mic, Caleb? What happened to it? You just got really loud. He's got insanely loud. Yeah. Well, I'm proud. It's fine by me. There was like a handicapped person trying to get on the bus, like someone with a wheelchair,

and he's like, oh, hey, do you need help with that? And the guy's like, fuck off. And then my grandpa Sean starts like getting into an argument with him because he wouldn't let him help. And he's like, I don't need your fucking help. He's like, let me help you. He was telling me on the way home

because we took the bus home together one day. And he was like, I was about to fucking punch the guy. It's like, it's a guy in a wheelchair, man. What do you even do to that guy? How do you make it worse? Did your mic come unplugged or something, Caleb? No, it's plugged in. What the hell did you do?

I don't know, something awesome. Is it really that loud? We can just hear background noises too now. I don't know. Maybe it's maybe... Is it better now? I think it's fine now. Yeah, I don't know what happened.

Yeah, I mean, a guy in a wheelchair, how do you... What do you even... You cannot fight a guy in a wheelchair. And what if he's like... What if he's built like Scrappy Do at the end of the Scooby-Doo movie? What if he's just ripped in his arms? Yeah, what if there's a little dog inside him? Yeah, what if he's being piloted?

Yeah, if he was being piloted, yeah. I don't know. He's, yeah. He's my grandpa's Mr. Bean. No, the guy in the wheelchair is Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean didn't survive those movies. Mr. Mondavarius. Yeah, Mr. Bean, that's his name in the movie.

By Scrapeedoo. No. No, that's another Mr. Bean that we've got to put in to the bean bracket. What, Scrappy doing? Scrappy Bean. Scrappy Bean? Scrappy Bean. Scrapper Bean.

We can get that going soon, that bracket, probably. Yeah, we can probably figure that out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Today we have top ten worst places from, of course, the top tens. Yeah. We're never doing another website. No, come on.

It's easy. I'll find some. This one, this one is very top-heavy with how good it is. The first one is just like, just like the comments are incredible. And then it just kind of gradually gets worse. But at the very least, we got to read these comments on the first one. So it's the top 10 worst places. Number one is hell.

Okay. And the top comment is from McGillicuddy. And it says, if there's absolutely one place I am certainly not going is hell, I would do absolutely anything to stay away from this place. A person named Richard Sigmund was able to get a glimpse. of this place look up my time in heaven book and he gave a horrifying description of what hell is actually like pure eternal torture being burned by fire ripped apart by demons and put back together to repeat the process raped and so much other wild torturous bull crap that it's just

unbearable no no no no i don't care what anyone says of course i've never seen it but do i care well considering the circumstances hell no i'm a christian and i'm staying a christian because experiencing something like this for an eternity is just ridiculous. I'm staying faithful to God. Screw that. That's what I would be. If I was being eternally raped and tortured by demons, I'd be like, this is a bunch

of bullcrap. This is a bunch of wild torturous bullcrap. Screw this, man. Why is it called my time in heaven? He did not go to heaven at all. He clearly did not go to heaven. In heaven, there's a porthole that you can look through to see hell. That's the only TV show

they have in heaven. Yeah. It does watching what's going on in hell yeah yeah and just like an announcement he's like aren't you glad you're not going through this right now yeah you just get to see them torture mac miller all day god man come on you just get to sit there yeah yeah the only people who are going to the only people that are clearly going to heaven or white rappers all go to hell every last one of them yeah yeah even weird al unfortunately oh no and not because he's jewish because again we can That's over that. What the fuck?

The evil realm. Satan tortures everyone with fire. It is scary how satanic the whole place is. It's scary how satanic hell is. Seriously, satanic in here, dude. It's also really hot. Whatever you do, do not go to hell after you die. It's even worse.

than the DMZ in Korea? Did they be DMV? No, I think the demilitarized zone in Korea. Yeah. Which I think is just like a wall. Yeah, it's just a

fence. Do you think that those guys like Do you think like the North Koreans try to like You know what it's named after the DMZ?

No. Dennis Miller's own. Sarcasset there's a sign of The sarcasm is not allowed with not scribbled out. Yeah. There's a Korean guy just standing at the DMZ just being like, oh, I would totally hate it if you came over here. I would totally hate it.

I would seriously hate if we shot each other. I would seriously hate it if we got into a scuffle right now. The North Koreans are in the news again. Whenever. But that's like Putin going down the Berlin wall on a Joni loves Chachi You know what I'm saying?

Get him Dennis Yeah Sick him Dennis Whenever someone from Whenever like a North Korean peasant escapes North Korea and like crosses the entire ocean On like a piece of paper raft And then like makes it to America

And they're like oh it was so horrible there They're being sarcastic Yeah Yeah they're being super When they say they don't give us food They don't give us food They totally The thing is that the sarcasm tone doesn't translate

Yeah Yeah Yeah because they learn English They don't learn the that kind of You know the rhythm that you have to say Exactly something sarcastic Right they aren't fluid in sarcasm yet Oh yeah

They aren't they aren't like me They aren't fluid in sarcasm That's how the that's how everybody thought that Kim Jong Un had died With somebody who's like He was being sarcastic Yeah he's totally dead Yeah, and you know who's replacing him?

Yeah, his sister is replacing him. Yeah, definitely. Duh. I'm not a real great person, but I plan to become generous and kind now. I really hope I don't go here. We can't even imagine what the horror is like here. And then Doro Explorro 13 replies to that comment and says, If you don't want to go there, then accept Christ as your savior.

I'll do that. Thanks, Doro, Explorro. Here's another comment. Yeah, of course it's the first because it burns fire. Lucifer and Satan next to you and demons running and abusing each other and will drop you into the fire pit. That's so true. I would hate to go in the fire pit in hell, dude. This is my biggest fear.

Nothing is worse than hell. This is my biggest fear. Just thinking of it gives me shivers for a long time. Someone said, actually Lucifer and Satan are the same person. Whoa. Oh my God. Dude, hell. Heel is the most metal place ever invented.

That's what a metal head would love hell. That's true. Yeah, dude, this is awesome. Dude, this rocks, dude. This rocks. I love this. I love hell. Yeah, I seriously love hell.

Yeah, they're going to make me one of the guys here. I'm going to be a bouncer. I'm like working my way up in hell. You're going to make me one of the guys at hell. That's what I heard. Yeah, I heard what I started. Start off being tortured with, like, you know, Elvis, and now I'm, like, basically the boss. Yeah.

They saw my Sepulchre t-shirt, and they thought it was pretty cool. Yeah. They actually let me do guest vocals during one of their slave driving sessions. I actually got to scream at all the tortured souls. Someone said, yeah, school's the worst. Hell yeah, dude. Someone says, I'm not going to hell. I would rather go to futuristic robot world.

Me too. No, I wouldn't want to go. That's the mistake. Everyone who dies and goes to hell, they make the mistake of not just going to futuristic robot world instead. It's true. That's like, that's Muslim hell. There's three.

There's three. You're right. There's three. There's three. There's heaven. There's hell and there's futuristic robot world. Yeah. And you choose and not futuristic robot world didn't exist till we got VR.

Until lost came out. Yeah. Until the final season of Lost. And they were like. It's this third thing. See, there's not a lot of people in the futuristic robot world. There's a lot of criteria you have to meet to be able to get in. See, there's a, there's a, what's that?

You have to take the Turing test to get in. You got to watch robots with Robin Williams. There's cyber Peter is at the gate. Cyber Peter Griffin is at the gate. And he's like, mee, me, me, me, me, me, me, beep. Beep, take the Turing test. And if you fail, you go to hell. Oh, my God.

Yeah. But if you get in, he goes, confirming, freaking sweet. Uh, number two, New Jersey. That's right. Yes, let's fucking go. Woo! Let's go! First comment.

Yeah, read it. Worse than hell for good metaphor. See Exorcist's prequel, where Lucifer fell from heaven and landed on earth. On the way to hell, they built a church over the spot where that evil landed, with swords pointed down to keep Lucifer from escaping, then buried the church so that no one would find it and open it. Too late. Christy and the rest of the damned evil state of New Jersey are already out in reigning hell on earth.

Too late for the Lord's Prayer to deliver us from evil? Kingdom come to Canman County? To Bergen County? Probably not. Most certainly, not the case now. I really like the second comment. Chris Christy dug up the church from the Exorcist too. Is that what they're trying to say?

Yeah, to do his bridge or to stop the bridge. Yeah. The second comment is, God help those suffering in New Jersey. God speed to those families not yet afflicted. And God damn those in New Jersey who cause all the suffering until the strong and those not yet too weak to fight can vanquish them and save all the people and their children suffering at their malicious and evil hand. God help the people in New Jersey.

Finish your food. There's people in New Jersey who don't even have food. And they have to be Italian. Just finish your goddamn food. What? NJ is actually a great place. We have great schools, a great place to raise families, good drivers, many diners, many tourist destinations,

fresh food and vegetables, clean beaches, people pumping our gas for us, and best of all, six flags, great adventure. You guys, New Jersey's not like, hell, we got it's Six Flags. Yeah, we have the world's only Six Flags. Yeah, I love, yeah. All these people pumping our gas for us, do they think that's just a New Jersey thing? Is Six Flags Great Adventure, like, no, no, that's just the name of Six Flags.

Oh, no, wait. Is it a specific one? That is, like, the biggest Six Flags or whatever. Oh, it actually is awesome now that they think about it, the great adventure. New Jersey is, I think they have a... Jersey's great because they have food and vegetables there. That's something that's really great about New Jersey. Oh, there's so many vegetables in New Jersey.

Dude, it's paradise. We have blockbusters and we have grocery stores. We have roads. You can drive a car on. Yeah, we have cars with four wheels. Yeah. You guys aren't going to believe this, but the children are allowed to play on playgrounds at recess here. Whoa.

Okay. Yeah. Wow. I'm pretty sure we even have a candy shop in our town. You'd think that the state that Bon Jovi came from, they wouldn't allow children to play. So you're trying to make me look like a laughing stock? I from New Jersey loser. You must be a redneck from Mississippi.

You must have been born on the Belt Parkway because that's where most accidents happen. We have Six Flags Great Adventure. What do you have some cheap rides from Chuck E. Cheeses? Oh, should I mention that you are such a loser? Yes. Woo! Get them. That Bell Parkway line is great, dude.

Yeah. That's a burn right there. Yeah, what are you from the nuclear factory from the Simpsons? Yeah. You're having an action in a lot of the opening credits. This is a comment from selfie fan 68 that says, My city, I'd not that bad. Hell yeah.

Let's see here. Whoa. All right, wait, wait, oh my God. This is the, this comment is so fucking long. Jesus Christ. This is, it's about, yeah, it's about, um, it's about the Clinton's, um, trafficking children and every word is capitalized. Through New Jersey?

Not just gang violence. A corrupt state in many corrupt counties and areas surrounding Camden and Englewood in Newark and Hoboken and God damn the state of New Jersey as bad and evil as Orwell's 1984 and Nazi Germany put together. The division literally tortures and drugs and institutionalizes children and uses the political abuse of psychiatry and court savagery with Gestapo police to do. do the same to anyone who is for rights, schools, or they fear will say anything

about the rampant corruption and tyranny known by any attorney with the better ones just beginning a fight to protect the people and residents and the children and the families of New Jersey, join the fight against the state of New Jersey, corruption, malfeasance, family court criminal enterprises and tyranny. And that's not even... Family court criminal enterprises. That's not even half of that

comment. It's insanely long. They steal $40 billion every year across the U.S. Most of the abducted children are abused, sexually abused, put on horrific psychotropic drugs to control them and over half end up homeless and 80% in prison and sex trafficked on the streets. Horrific child holocaust. That's my favorite Italian horror movie from the 70s. New Jersey Holocaust. Yeah.

New Jersey. Huh. New Jersey Holocaust. Yeah, I'm thinking. Yeah, that would be a great movie. I'm thinking about it. That would be a great movie. I don't get it. New Jersey Holocaust. Are you talking about Italy?

No, I just think that would be a good plot of a movie to happen. It would be a funny plot of a movie. Yeah, or like scary and funny. Number three, jail. A friend of mine created this list when we were bored in school. He put jail on the list but not prison, but then somebody else must have added prison to the list later, and it went up here. Damn, so jail and prisoner on here?

I feel like I'd be awesome in jail. I feel like I'd become... That's somewhere I could definitely work by. Put me in the mail room. You give me one day. Put me in the license plate room. I'll work my way up. I'll become the warden in a week.

I'll become the warden pretty fast. Yeah, jail is about working your way up. People don't realize that. Yeah, because a lot of the people get to, they get to jail, they just give up. You air drop me, you air drop me into a jail. By the end of the day, everyone's going to be friends in there. You airdrop me a funny picture while you're visiting me in jail. I'm going to laugh.

Guess what? I'm going to show the whole jail, and they're all going to laugh, and they're going to elect me class president. Yeah. Doesn't jail have like a class president thing? No, you're thinking of school. Jail should have a class president. I'm thinking of school, actually. Wait, doesn't jail have math and science classes and recess?

The jail does have recess. Doesn't jail have time out that you go to when you bites the teacher's finger? Wait a second. Isn't the, isn't jail? Isn't jail a giant mammal that swims in the water and was hunted by Captain Ahab? No, buddy, you're thinking of whale. Oh, you're thinking whale. Sorry, sorry, guys.

That's embarrassing. Although both are a little, you know, a little white for my taste. Right? That's, no. Yeah. I'm the only thing that is scary about prison is the food. I know it's probably not like the prison food you see in TV, but I still don't like thinking about it. Someone straight up says the worst thing about jail is you get raped and get HIV-AIDS.

That's true. That's true. Trans-45 says, I hope I never go to jail. I probably never will, but you never know. You ever know. I could snap one day. I know myself pretty well, and I think, you know, there is a possibility. You just never know.

You never know. You never know. I could go to jail. Where would you guys go to jail for? Me? Yeah. Being too cool. You would never kill me. You couldn't kill me in a thousand years.

We should all go to jail. We should all do the same crime. Let's go to prison. Yeah. Let's go to prison. I don't know. I think we could, we could, I think we would own in prison, dude. Yeah.

I would be so good at prison. Yeah. I would. Kidding me? I would set up obstacle courses for all the other interests. And we would do, we would do prison. a warrior it would be sick I don't know I feel like I could change the vibe of jail

yeah I could jail I could do walking around jail the vibes are off man I mean all you have to do is just smile at people you know a smile can change someone's day that's true we may be in prison but it doesn't mean that we can't smile yeah yeah I think I think I would

basically be the popular kid in jail yeah now I'm thinking we don't begging me to go to the dance now I'm thinking the only performing eat in prison might be a might be some beautiful smiles i'd be the chef in prison yeah i i i've been preparing i'd yeah exactly i would sing songs to everyone i would do like a cool like i'd have my own cool food like the chocolate salty balls i don't know what it would be called what would my food be your food i would be so good at making that that ramen loaf you would you would i think my diet you'd make so you'd make something called like blue meat

yeah it would be like a steak that you marinate it would be like yeah exactly or no wouldn't you get it on like a on like a like an eye on a radiator yeah yeah yeah I could do that I don't think so let's send let's send Pat to jail here's a comment at least I know two ways to escape the silent and the easy way oh yeah how would you escape jail how would I escape would you use the silent way or the easy way I would do I would jail by being such a being on such good behavior i would just i would pretend here's how i would escape jail i would hire one of you two to come visit me and have a big camera right and follow me around for a little bit and then i would just i would just tell the word and i'd be like all right

listen i'm not going to tell any of the inmates or any of the other people working here this is an episode of undercover boss so just let me do whatever i want i'm walking around i'm making sure everything's okay all my employees are in order but i'm going to walk out of here pretty soon because I'm not going to stay in jail. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. And I'd be walking around, and I'd get the heartfelt stories from all the, like, all the gang members who are in there for killing their wives.

And I'd be like, you know what? Maybe jail isn't so bad. Yeah. And then you'd wink into the camera. Yeah. I would just teleport out of jail. I don't see a reason not to. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll just, again, I would get out on good big. I would try and, he would try and, like, dig a hole in the concrete with a spoon, but he would die because he would keep eating the concrete. I would not eat the concrete. All the dust. He would just keep eating and eating it. And then he died in a half dough hole. I'd get out.

I'd get out on good behavior. You wouldn't. No. They would let me out day one because of how good I am. You would, every time that the, that the guard came by to, like, unlock your cell to let you go eat them. I would just go, like, wow, really loud and then scare the shit out of them. and they would beat you up. No.

Dude, you would get beat up so hard. You would do a curtsy. I would do a curtsy and I would walk around. You would walk around. That's because you'd be in a girl's jail. And I'd turn my shoes into tap shoes and I would do. You'd be in orange as a new black. Yeah.

Sure. They had fun in that show. Patrick is the new fat. You know a lot of fun on orange as a new black. Yeah, you're right. They do have loads of fun, dude. I would request to be in a girl's jail. Maybe like, are you a girl?

And I'd be like, no. I just get along with girls better. Yeah. Someone says better than residential school. That's true. No lie, no cap detected. Mm-hmm. No lies, no crap.

That's true. Number four, war zone. That's a fun game, dude. Yeah. What the hell, dude. Come on. Randomator says, yeah, it doesn't sound like a fun place to be. I was here before.

It is hell. No, seriously. screw Justin Berber stuff that ain't bad Justin Barber ain't that bad man Justin Berber Screw Justin Berber I've been to war

That shit's nothing compared to war Dude remember what a godsend that was When Justin Bieber was on that episode Of like law and order Where he gets shot And everybody was like Most epic moment in TV history Yeah

Justin Bieber gets murdered That is it is really funny Yeah, there is a video of Justin Bieber getting shot a bunch of times. He's shot by the police. So sick. When he was like 15. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They literally only did that so they would have like a video of Justin Bieber getting shot. Definitely one of the creators was like, it would be really funny just to have video of Justin Bieber getting shot. Let's just write a whole guest episode. Yeah. Where he gets to act. Yeah.

I haven't seen any other part of that episode. That might be, he might only be in that scene. That might be like spliced into like... The cops just go, look, it's Justin Beaver! He's not even like the criminal in the episode. Yeah. Number five, concentration camps. Yeah, obviously.

We can't even, we can't even joke about that, dude. Yeah. There's a comment here from Pizza Guy that says... Yeah, no, go ahead. This is why if I time travel to the... the 40s, I will go to South America and not Europe. And North Korea's concentration camp sounds really scary.

If I know one thing is that South America in the 40s was not swag. There's nothing but fucking coconuts and bananas, dude. It was paradise. Yeah. Yeah. No one was doing anything weird. Well, if he goes to, if he time travels to the

40s and he goes to South America in like 1946, he's going to be meeting the same people he would meet. Yeah. He only has a few years before. Yeah. Yeah Number He goes to

Argentina Yeah I met this I went to this I love Argentina in the 40s Not a Nazi in sight Yeah I met this beautiful

woman at this Cabana named Ava Number six is Black Hole Cosmo says If you went in a black hole You would be Spaghettiified

And you would turn really long That'd be kind of cool Maybe me and Pat could do that and we'd get really tall. It wouldn't happen. I would come back and I'd be, I could, nine. I could get in the NBA if I was, every molecule of my body was just like kind of longer. Like one molecule wide, but as many molecules as my body is tall. Right?

And I'm just like kind of an invisible piece of string. I feel like I'd be a great basketball player then. String, Caleb. Yeah. That's what they would call you. They would call you, Caleb. the string. Caleb the string.

Like, wilt the steel? Yeah, dude. I'd be, I'd be like 50 miles high. They'd call you Caleb the bail of hay. That's not a bail. That's a piece of hay. He would look like a hay. He would look like a singular hay.

But that's not what a bail is. There's no such, hay is plural. It's hay is already plural. And what is it singular? Ha. It's hello. But it's singular. A piece of hello.

A piece of high. Yeah. yeah it's what's up yeah dude and it's and that's just the kind of stuff you learn when you're when you're me when you're a scientist yeah when you grew up on a farm like me yeah yeah i grew up on a soybean farm number seven is the middle of the sun the middle of that's the joke of the sun though is that the earth is the middle is hot the middle of the sun is actually freezing cold yeah it actually is just earth.

Whoa. Yeah. It's reversed. Holy shit. Yeah, you might want to think about that before you guys make fun of me for being like stupid or bald. Is that I know stuff like that, you know? Yeah.

You know so much about the sun because your head looks like it. It's so bright and circular. Yep. You guys are jealous. The next step in evolution is, evolution realizes you don't even need hair. What is hair doing for you? It's slowing you down. Guess who's fast at swimming.

This is a really fast swimmer, me. Except for my massive afro pubes. Those really slow me down. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you just put those on your head? You have like weights on the end of your pubs that are dragging you. You get your pubs transplant into the top of your head and you just look like Burt from Sesame Street.

Yeah. And everybody's like, are you, do you have pubes on your head? No, I'm just doing a Burt thing. I'm just being Burt. Yeah. I'm half Dominican and I'm half Muppet. so you have to respect my hair it's my hair buddy

feel it look put your mouth on it it's my hair it's all me baby now um this list this is where the list starts to drop off but I think we should skip ahead to 10 which is kind of what was expected to be on here and has a lot of comments so we're skipping over North Korea and Antarctica

nobody really says anything good about those but number 10 is a Justin Bieber concert. Oh, here we frigging go. Yeah. Here we go. I've seen this before. Here's a comment that says, he got caught with a hooker.

I'm this close to dropping down a nuclear bomb on his frontal lobe. Yeah. Hey, baby, is that a, what's that a song about himself? Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. I'd rip my ears off, then make

myself die by the vibrations of his suicide singing. Just a Bieber Why would someone ever go to his concert? Whoever does this is crazy. His songs make my ears bleed. I wish Justin Bieber should go to hell, LeBron. LeBron wrote that comment, dude.

Whoa. Dude, what's up, LeBron? Huge fan. I could not agree more. We're a 1D concert. That might be worse. One Dylan. One Dylan.

Baby, baby, baby, oh, ugh. Rather get pushed by a cow of a building rooftop than going to Justin Bieber. concert that is horrible and i don't see why hell in prison is up this high because they ain't that bad whoa from bobby the brony people spread too much hate to justin bob that's funny to be a brony that hates justin beaver like what yeah what's your reason for hating just the most common type of person that true yeah well now what how do you how does that work because even a brony knows that he's a girl dude it's true ronies like like girl things no no because there's my little ponies they're like you know it's a pretty clear

gender breakdown it's like 50 50 50 is not is not for girls my little pony is antifa uh next is flint michigan there's no comments on this i would survive that's a that's a newcomer yeah whoa i number number 11 is school that's right here we go without school life would be hell. Nonstop crimes, more wars, more gangs, dumb people, abusive people, and more. Whoever thinks school is worse than hell, go to hell yourselves and find out how great school was. Do not respect the author of that comment. That is fucked up. You must be dumb. School is a place where you learn. Oh my God, dude. How have I never thought of this before? There's an acronym, some acronym

action here from Minecraft Hater. School. Seven crappy hours of our lives. Holy shit. I went to school for me now. I feel like we could do a better one. school for like hundreds of days. I don't know why you guys only went for a few hours. Stinky. Seven I would change to stinky. Crapy that can stay. H is hot poop. Hot poop.

O is our poop. Our poop. The other O is oh my God it's so poopy here. L is love you. L is love poop if you go here. Love poop if you're a teacher. It's true.

Our way Maybe The government found a way to torture us with school A.k.a. prison That's true. Number 12 is the desert The deserts of Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, and Somalia are hell on earth.

That's a comment on here. Vegas is an exception. True. True. So hot. It's just one comment. It's so hot. Anyway, number third.

13 is Bermuda Triangle, and the lowest comment is, the tringle could be an eye. The tringle could be an eye. The tringle could be a eye. David Potastic told me yesterday. I've never thought about that before. The tringle could be an eye. David Potastic told me yesterday that there's a, there's an area of Boston called the Polish triangle, and I've just been thinking about it as a Bermuda triangle-esque, like,

Anyone who goes in doesn't come out, yeah. Anyone who goes in there forgets how to screw a light bulb forever. That's the secret of the Polish triangle. It's all of them stacked on top of each other, like the Tower of Babble, trying to screw in a light bulb. The problem with the Polish triangle is all the ships that appear have a screen door on the bottom. Yeah. They call it the Polish people. People call it the Polish triangle, but it has like five sides.

That is some classic shit, dude. Classic dad shit. That is some old school. Old school shit. I don't think I, yeah, I don't think I even knew Polish people. were real until way late in life because I only knew of them through jokes from my

grandfather. Yeah. Although I remember I think it was... Oh, I told my grandpa that I... I was talking to him about, like, friends that I made in Boston, like my first year of school. And I was like, yeah, I know this guy, Neil. And he was like, Neil, what's his last name? Oh, no. I was like, Linsky.

And he's like, Linsky. He's some kind of fucking Polack. Damn, dude. He's from New Jersey. He's Irish. Number 14, a Trump rally. That's right. Yeah.

Yeah, he sucks crap, dude. Yeah. Number 17 is deserted island, and the only comment is, I cannot live. Without my five favorite albums. I cannot live. Number 19 is... No, they left me on the desert island. Island and I forgot all my

albums and my movies! That's a thing, man. Five, if you bring your five favorite albums or movies, you're fine. You'll survive, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't need food. Dude, yeah, I feed off the energy of music. Didn't we talk about that one time bringing, like,

did we do that on the podcast? You'd get like the castaway special edition that is just a life. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get the uh i'm gonna get the the pope fiction version that comes with two cheeseburgers yeah yeah man i'm bringing vr i got the super size me version that has every meal that has 30 days of food yeah yeah yeah but it's from mcdonalds no thank you yeah number 19 is at the end of chuck norris's fist and the only comment is worse than a black hole in the taco bell bathroom

of Justin Bieber's house in hell. Whoa. I really like number 20. I like number 22. Well, let's do number 21st real quick. Is graveyard. And it's just a picture of some guys. Yeah, the band graveyard.

And the comment is, oh gosh, terrifying. But I really like that they were like trying to think of like, what's like the worst place? Okay, there's hell, there's jail, there's like a black hole, a graveyard. Yeah. Hell, jail, holocaust school. Yeah, graveyard Did you guys ever go Chetley, you know, go to the graveyard and pee on stuff when you were young?

No, not pee on stuff. We'd hang out in the graveyard and smoke weed, though. I did not do that. I did not smoke weed, but I did pee on every grave. I actually, I peed on like, I peed on like every grave in this graveyard when I was in high school because I just thought it was funny to go pee on the graves. My high school was next to a graveyard.

Was it? Yeah, it was like a little bit down the road, but there's a high school and some kids got caught hooking up in it. God damn. I don't, I never, what about graveyards makes kids so horny? You got to be goss, dude. There's a school in Watertown where literally like the school is like right next to a graveyard. Like if you look out the windows, it's just like graves. Very awesome.

That's, oh, there's a, there's a, there's a, that's all, those are all the graves of the kids who misbehaved at school, dude. Yeah, yeah. There's a, there's a, there's a. middle school like that in New Hampshire. One time I... There's a graveyard literally next to the playground. That's sick, dude. One time I took a picture of myself covering up letters on a grave, so it said, fuck, and I posted

it on Facebook, and a guy came in the comments and started yelling at me and said I was disrespecting the dead. I think I didn't video myself peeing on all those graves in high school, dude. You are going to hell, Caleb. I don't think I'll ever go to hell. I think you'll go to... I think you're going to go to hell. instead of futuristic robot world?

No. Read number 22. I'm going to go to a new place. I'm going to go to God's Big House. No. Yeah, we can play football there. We're going to play flag football in the yard. Number 22 is Big Brother House.

Oh, I just realized that means that the show. Yeah, did you know that they... I was thinking somebody just hated their older brother. I didn't realize that, like, that whole show is like, we're going to get people to have sex with each other, and we just have cameras in every room. Yeah. Yeah.

So everybody's been on Big Brother. There's video of them having sex in, like, a hot tub. Yeah. That's so weird. I would do that. Yeah, why not? What, you would go on Big Brother? No, I would, I think maybe I'll just set up cameras all around my apartment.

And then that'll be a show. It'll be called Caleb's House. Big Caleb's house. Yeah. Yeah. Caleb, the Big Brother. Caleb's Big Brother. Oh, me and my big brother could live in one house together and have sex in a hot tub.

Yeah. You. That's not a bad idea. What is sex with your brother, Josh? No, I don't. Number 23. You will on the show? No, I won't.

Yeah, you will. No, I'll think about it. Number 23 is Justin Bieber's underwear. You could take some convincing. I think that it would work. I would never, I would never have sex with my brother or anyone I was related to. I think you would. And that's a fact, Jack.

If there was a camera, if there was some cameras and you were getting paid. Well, I am a performer. I mean, I have to give the people what they want. No No, no, no, no, no, I wouldn't No, come on, I wouldn't have sex Of my brothers on camera, dude Are you fucking kidding me, man?

That's my brother He used to spit in my mouth When I was growing up I'm not gonna have sex with him, dude Well, you could do it again He could do it on the camera Oh my god, are you kidding, man You're talking about my brain

He listens to this show, dude He's gonna hear this, he's gonna text me He's gonna text me and he's not gonna ask me He's not gonna ask me to have sex He's going to text you at 3 a.m. He's going to say, you up. He's not going to call me big head on a text message, man. Come on, man, you nasty.

You used to call him on his cell phone. No. Late night when you need his love. I'm not going to sing to him, dude. You're going to sing Hotline Blink. I'm not going to make him dinner and sing to my own fucking brother, dude. Yeah, you're going to sing Hotline Blink to him. Dude, I'm not going to.

I will not propose to him with a ring pop. I'm not going to do that, dude. You're going to say, ever since. to say to you. If you think I'm going to marry my brother, you got another thing coming, big fella. Get your finger out of the camera. I'm going to put my finger in you. You're going to put your finger on your brother.

I'm not going to finger my own bro, dude. That's my bro. Dude, that's my bro, man. He taught me everything I know. Yeah, he taught you how to have sex. And now he's going to have sex, dude. Shut up, dude. Dude, I send all of these clips to my mom.

She's going to hear this, man. You send all the clips about you having sex with your brother to your mom? Dude, I'm not going to have sex with any of my four brothers. Three brothers. Was your fourth brother? Did you add a brother recently? His fourth brother is you, Cameron. I included myself in the brother count.

I'm not going to have sex with any of my brothers. And you can take that to the bank. You're going to have sex with your brother at the bank? No, I'm not going to, I'm not going to I'm not going to lock myself in the vault and have sex with my brothers. You're going to bring a big check to the bank from Caleb's Big Brother House, the TV show. It's like if you requested a big check and you're going to try and cash it and the the thing at the bottom, it's not going to say cash.

Yeah, I'm not going to start a new playboy channel reality show. You're going to make a deposit. You're going to make a deposit into your brother's ATM. My brothers aren't big. except for where it counts then they're big brothers not that I would know dude I haven't seen them my brother's wieners

when I was 10 or 11 years old dude walking in on him in the bathroom that didn't happen I would say no me and my brother did you see a video now I'm not watching a video what are you looking out like Pavradi when waiting came out remember that movie waiting

oh the penis game you did that too not the penis game no we would do the donkey where you tucked your ball sack and you're... Yeah, the whole game, though. The whole... You did it without the game. We just thought it was funny

to look at each other's balls. You didn't even punch your brother after? Dude, I'm not gonna hurt my brother. What if I accidentally... What if I miss it? And I accidentally destroy his beautiful penis with my fist. It would suck, dude.

No, no, you punched them because they looked at your penis. That was the point of the game. I'm gonna pitch that to my grandpa like Shark Tank. I'm gonna pitch... all right so we're going to put me and all the brothers in a house and you're going to pay for the cameras and we're going to fuck each other and we're going to upload each other's balls and we're going to punch each other in the balls what do you think grandpa

it's all i've ever wanted from you boys that's what i raised because i raised you yeah yeah number 24 blood on the dance no you skip number 23 number 23 is justin beaver's underwear the top comment yeah i would hate to be there seriously guys you're telling me that a wide open with plenty of things to do and see that well fits 9 million people is worse than a super tiny place to do nothing that would be nearly impossible to fit even one person, I wish people would get their facts straight. And the comment I really

like on this one is, he will blow up when he sees this, L.O.L. I would hate to be in his underwear, especially if I was Caleb Bieber, then I would be double-mad. Yeah, if you were married. If I was his brother, I'd be so... I would hate to be in his undies, dude. in his unders Did your dads have a

Have a funny word for underwear growing up No my dad said underwear My dad said unders Your dad said Caleb's playhouse No That's what he called his underwear No Yeah

No He called it He called it brothers game That's what he called your underwear Did you guys have a of a phase where like you saw on TV and stuff that people just hung out with their hands and their pants and then you guys did that for a little bit no no no no I used to walk around my hands in your pants like walk around with sweatpants with your hands like where your penis lives

what I mean no I did that I didn't see it on TV oh I used to watch TV sometimes you got to do that what do you mean you don't it's just it's chill it's relaxing yeah yeah it's chill you know you're maybe you're explaining it wrong maybe you're explaining it right you put your hand in your pants put both your hands in your pants that's about as simple as it do it right now pat where where did you see it on tv put your hand in your pants some security camera footage come on you never get that no at least at least one of you agreed with me that would have been that would have been horrible if both of you were like now i think that's a pretty i feel like that's a fairly normal thing to do wait like you're laying on the couch

And you just stick a hand down there, dudes. Yeah. Maybe it starts as a scratch. Yeah. Then you realize, like, I don't have a better place for my hand to be right now. Yeah, might as well. Oh, okay. All right.

No, when you explain it like that, I thought you meant you. What did you think it was? He said, did you ever see on TV when people put their hands down their pants and they hung out like that? TV is a reflection of reality. And there are moments of duty. I didn't know what you, man. Have you ever heard of Jacques Lacan, dude? Come on, Pat.

I love her music. Number 25, the ghetto. Damn. Yeah. That's where I'm from. Number 32 is Haunted Mansion. I would hate to be in the haunted. That'd be sick, dude.

Fucking Eddie Murphy's there. He's making you laugh, dude. He's doing the raw routine from the first eight minutes of the special. He's calling the ghost. He's calling the ghost to slur. They can't sit in the front row or look at his ass, dude. And you're just dying, laughing. Number 49 is Saudi Arabia.

And the first line of the top comment is, the cops there are very sketchy. The cops in Saudi Arabia? They're very sketchy. 43. 43. 90-year-old ladies changing room. Whoa.

There's a comment here from British goat that says, how would you even get in this situation Wait Number 59 is Columbine High School And the top comment is from Joe Boy And says after the 1999 shooting This place just got haunted Trains 45

On number 60 Iraq said I would never visit this country One of the worst places to visit Back to the Columbine thing I feel like Columbine, if you went to Columbine High School, I feel like you would be pretty safe. Yeah, now. Yeah. I mean, definitely not in 1999, but afterwards, like, you're just like, they're not going to do it.

Like, they're dead. Yeah, they already did it. They're not going to do it again. Sorry. They're fucking, what is Zach's Bees? Because there's, number 79 is a chicken restaurant. Number 79 is Zach's bees. And then there's a comment that just says, why is Zaxby's on here?

Patrick's never heard of a fast food place before That's impressive No It's impressive There's a one that Patrick doesn't know Oh my god That chicken sandwich looks good as shit Oh,

He's rocks Number 67 I gotta go to this place This is another fried chicken place I gotta go to Number 67 is Earth And all the comments are really mad That they put Earth on there

The comments are Okay why is Earth on here We are all in the planet you know If you don't like Earth Then get a life What who wrote Earth We're all in Earth This shouldn't even be in the list

Er, we are already at Earth. Why is this here? We all live on here. Take it off right now. Everyone lives on Earth. Number 74 is United States. First comment. Well, we got a sub-list.

People do not hate America because they are jealous of you. They hate America because they have poor education and are the most hypocritical country in the world. I have a lot of reasons the United States sucks. Number one, they eat too much. Number two, they hate any nation that can do things better than them. Number three, they are obese. They are ignorant.

They only care about themselves. They are rude. They have Donald Trump. They have start wars. Health care is expensive. They have stupid laws. They brag too much. They won't get over 9-11.

They are the only nation without universal health care. They have a lot of gun crime. They elected George Bush twice. They act like they're the only country in North America. Some Americans act like they're the only nation in the world. And they brag about their military. Peaceful countries do not need a big army or military. 18 reasons.

America sucks. Damn. Wow. I have a freaking gnome chomsky in the comments here. Yeah, that's from user Angela Davis. Number 109 is Chernobyl, and the comment says, terrible explosion that killed like 25 people. Yeah, it's just 25 people.

That's all they got in Chernobyl. Yeah. I could survive. I would just hold my breath, dude. Me too. I would just lay on it like an egg. Yeah. Yeah.

I would just lay on the green stuff. Yeah. You can tell what's radioactive because it's glowing green. You just avoid those parts. Did you guys watch the Chernobyl show? I never finished it. I watched the first few episodes. The guy who wrote it is a very, uh, uh, he's one of those fucking, like, oh, Trump is a Soviet

guys. Oh, dude, that's the best part of the show. Oh, yeah, it's so insanely. Like, they'll have a, they'll have like a boardroom full of people and it'll be and like uh is it one of those shows where they like do they do they speak in uh russian british i have like a british i fucking knew it it's terrible yeah so they'll all there'll be like a boardroom that's like every important like soviet leader and then mikhail gorbachev will sit up and he'll be like but how do we how are we gonna we're just gonna let thousands of people

die for no for no reason at all and then some like old old man will stand up and there's a picture of Stalin behind him, and he'll point to the picture of Stalin, it'll be like, listen buddy, we're communists. It's what we do. We kill people for no reason at all. That's what he did, and he'll point to Stalin, and then everybody will clap, and Mikhail Gorbachev will

sit down and be like... It's so awesome, dude. Yeah, there's some of the democracy. I wish this was a democracy. Yeah, I wish we had pizza on here. We need to get pizza hut, and we need to get Wendy's. It's like this war room, and then Mikhail Gorbichie

It's like, well, if we're going to be here all night, can we at least order a pizza? And then one guy will be like, there's no pizza. It's the Soviet Union, you dumbass. It's sick. Yeah, no, there are like so many distinct scenes, though, where someone is just like, yeah, I like that all the people are dying. I think this is what, this is the good part of it. This is actually good to me because I'm a comedy. I don't let people die.

Yeah. This shit's swag as hell. I love it when people die because of my communism. It just pans to Bernie Sanders in the room with them. and he stands up and he's like I agree with all of this I hate pizza I hate pizza I hate it actually so much

I'm going to do Chernobyl again in a hundred years I have helped planned all of this I was the reason no yeah that the reactor is blowing up like a little fucking kid comes in

like trying to deliver the communist pizza is just like a slice of bread with one piece of Mexican cheese on it and they're like oh thank you son like you're gonna get a promotion what's your name and he's like

Bernie Sandh others. Yeah. He was like 40 at the time. He was like old enough. He's like knows everything's going on. But he's a little kid with a giant lollible. He's a little kid in a newsboy cap.

And he's dressed up like tiny tim. He cobbles in on a pizza. And he's like, I got your pizza right here. All hail radical Islam. And they're like, all hell radical Islam. Yeah, that fucking, that show rocks. I can't like to re-watch it, dude. All right, what else do we have rounding this out?

Nothing really. It's just countries. The last one is Venezuela. That's true. Hotels. Duncan Donuts. Harper's house. I hate Harper.

Japan Town. Inside of a small cramped box. In the bathroom after a man took a dump. Kenya, Venezuela. Rounding out the list. Yep, that's it. All right. Wow.

Sorry for the late episode today, guys. Caleb's internet was out yesterday. Yeah, Caleb was caught in a tornado. Yeah, I got spun into a black and white universe by a tornado. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. And you were there, and you were there, and you were there too.

Yeah, you two were there and I was doing, you know, with you. I was. I was. That's not. Sorry, buddy. That's fucked up. Well, now I'm in. the episodes.

You can't say anything about it. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Goodbye.